/** 
  * file: karbytes_18_october_2023.txt
  * type: plain-text 
  * date: 19_OCTOBER_2023 
  * author: karbytes 
  * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
  */

18_OCTOBER_2023 content...

Not a day has gone by for the past three years in which I did not think that someone other than myself was going out of their way to sabotage me such as by stealing my belongings (or distracting me into leaving them behind), vandalizing my items when I am not looking such that I find later that someone rendered my equipment too damaged to safely and effectively use, and wasting my mobile data by intercepting my mobile Internet connection and forcing me to waste more data than I plan to and more than what I have money for.

I think the pig people would rather fight tooth and nail to keep me poor than apply that same effort towards bettering themselves.

Everything I try to do ends up taking me orders of magnitude more time, money, stress, and suffering (especially suffering which other humans deliberately inflict on me) than I originally expect to the extent that I think I am being physically prevented by other people who surveil and intrude upon me every chance they get so that my life is an experience of prolonged disappointment, feeling betrayed by other people, and prevented from achieving my goals.

I think that many other people are deliberately trying to keep me from relaxing and feeling at peace and, instead, in a perpetual state of severe anxiety and anger.

I think that hackers are trying to prevent me from uploading any videos to GitHub which are able to be played directly in the browser because I keep getting the same unsupported MIME type error for each video I have attempted to upload despite the video size.

I also noticed that system updates are failing to be installed and Firefox is freezing and not letting me close any windows.

* * *

I ended up being forced to use up all 3 gigabytes of data I spent $20 on obtaining today just on trying to fix the video playback error. I can tell that the pig people are too blame because they seem desperate to sabotage me and seem very oppposed to me having actual fun alone and for having deeper thoughts than they want me to have. They demand that I have my money, time, health, and comfort stolen from me. They chastize me for being self assured and passionately obsessed with something other than family.

I plan on staying all night (which I have been doing more often than not starting within the past two weeks) and using the Whole Foods Wi-Fi. I will probably spend over half my day's allowance on the 3 gigabytes I should still have most of right now. The Hispanics are trying to starve my mind and body and turn my otherwise robust and fulfilling lifestyle into a desolate prison while being forced to stay in public so that those pig people can bully me and feel good at my expense knowing that I hardly get what I really want and arguably need. Those pig people are obsessed with money and want me to be deprived of my own money making abilities (and forced to let my marketable skills atrophy in order to appease those people's envy).

That is why I have no friends. The pig people are too tyrannically domineering and largely because of them my life is much more painful and adversity filled than I want to make obvious to the public and especially to those who know me personally and enjoy the idea of me being prevented from attaining my goals.

The thought police seem to think that I should be treated like a vain bimbo who is obsessed with "her" appearance and unmotivated to pursue the goals I am actually very eager to make progress towards but seem to always run into externally imposed obstacles and setbacks whenever I put a lot of effort into something I want to do. "It's not about you, okay? I didn't mean to get into your moutb. Stop being a self help bitch. Think about something other than yourself. You have nothing to talk about. You aren't ready for a job. You need to make people like you more first."

I think that the kinds of people I would enjoy socializing with are people who are being deliberately kept out of reach from me by the thought police so that I am forced to feel socially isolated, bullied, ganged up on, maligned, ignored, and constantly lied to and set up to fail by others. They seem to be waiting with eager anticipattion for me to take out my anger on others to express dissent at being so frequently and intensely bullied that I think the pig people subconsciously vote that more people be harmed for their sake. My way is to stop further violence (which means no retaliation). Their way seems to be counter to my way (and their way seems to be what most humans implicitly and explicitly support).

I do not think I would benefit much from trying any harder than I have been to make other people approve of me. If I appear to be enjoying any advantages which they are not, they do not want me to be able to anything other than helplessly wait for other people to give me all of the things I need to survive while being deprived of anything which is not about basic physical survival and forced social conformity.

When I get to a better Internet connection, I will put this note in a web page in a part of the website which is not easy to find unless one knows where to look.

(I have been hearing the thought police say that they think I should be acting more bored than I am when I am actually rarely ever bored because, when allowed to pursue my goals, I feel that I have so little time and so many things to do that the concept of being bored only really applies to me if I am forced by external factors to be unproductive).

* * *

19_OCTOBER_2023 content...

Not having to talk during times I feel the need to be alone and quiet. That is something I feel the need to protect. Otherwise, I think I would have too little time to be alone (and I have not gotten what I think is sufficient alone time to enjoy what I think is a stable and balanced routine).

Only a woman would write this way. Clearly a man told her to say that and she obeyed. She even changed her thoughts to be more what she thought he wanted them to be. He wants to be the masculine counterpart to all of her feminine.

A man does not need to write himself a self pitying and angsty note about not having sufficient alone time nor privacy. A man does not want for such things. Only wimmin do.

* * *

Rather than dilute the value of my life by joining a human factory farm suite or by using humans (or animal companions of other species) as a recepticle in which to store memories of my existence and preference for my welfare and continued existence, I "upcycle" my value by keeping as much of my survival and thrival processing self contained as possible such that my livelihood need not come at the expense of other creatures' livelihoods.

I am the only friend I need and the best by far I have ever known and I do not expect anyone to take karbytes' place as my closest companion.

* * *

I asked myself if I had any final words to offer the pig people before I stop performing and writing for their lowly ilk. I answered by saying and then pretending that I had exactly one index card in my pocket which I pulled out it and read the hand written black ink on it which said the following:

the void is here