/**
 * file: karbytes_30_september_2024.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 28_SEPTEMBER_2024
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
 */

"...who can't talk about anything but weight-loss: you have been recorded."

Those were the last words I remember hearing from the same military man sounding voice after abruptly waking from an unusually complex and "dark" dream at approximately 2:30AM Pacific Standard Time. I recall this phenomenon happening to me more than once across the past two months and in the same spatial location and time of day. I do think the government is "hacking" my brain or "consciousness filter".

The dream I most recently had seemed to go on for many more hours (if not days) despite that sleeping period appearing to have only taken place inside of a two hour time span. Like several other dreams I had which I would describe as being similarly "dark", SED was there and I was rather desperately trying to [get] our intimacy back after having been separated from him for years and the dream occurring at night seemingly inside of an expansive (in all spatial directions) pitch black hollow which gave everything the sense of being dredged up from a giant all-consuming shadow. The "feel" of that dream pairs well with much of the instrumental aesthetics (especially the low-pitched to mid-pitched aggressive-sounding rhythm guitar and lo-fi (non reverb-y) drums in the "...And Justice For All" Metallica album). In those dreams also many other people were present in adjacent rooms and sometimes closer to me but rarely more than twenty feet away as though we were all taking a vacation in some large house and I was always sneaking around doing my own thing while others were only mildly curious and seemingly never shown talking to me more directly (though the dreams suggest I was somehow communicating with those other people "behind the scenes" of my limited present-moment qualia bubble).

The latest dream I had started with me taking the perspective of the camera of a partially AI-generated music video I made which sounded pretty good and featured the interior of a large ornate ballroom with rail-guarded walking paths at various height levels connected to staircases with the camera facing down from the middle of the room traveling from some high level towards the floor while the walls and floor morphed and changed into slightly different variations of the same decor (i.e. greenish turquoise walls and gold trimming) in a kaleidoscope-like manner with the floor deepening to reveal more floors below. Then the camera followed me outside the building [trailing behind me] while I was singing (and it had the musical qualities I described earlier with me coming up with what seemed like revelatory lyrics which actually rhymed and sounded like a combination of rap and thrash metal). The outdoor part of the "music video" took place in a palace garden with flowers and shrubbery appearing to be as lit as they would be [on a sunny day at noon] despite it appearing to be between midnight and four in the morning with that garden abruptly dropping off a cliff which appeared traversible but not as well lit [with various shrubbery, geographic features and human-made infrastructure]. I think the final words of that song before the video headed back into the darkened house (without any people visibly present) was something about how important privacy is for having autonomy and individuality.

At least two music videos with similar sounding music and videography appeared to be featured throughout that dream and I apparently was showing the one I described in the previous paragraph to SED via some kind of tablet computer and he seemed intrigued and was commentating on it (though I don't remember what he was saying). I think other people in the dream thought someone other than me made some hit music video and it seemed that they were referring to what seemed creepily like a double of me I had not met but they have (which seems related to my "real life" concerns that my brain's memories are being selectively edited by literal thought police (and I think there might be a branch of government which involves its personnel transcending "ordinary" physical phenomena and entering transcendental realms which may enable those people to telepathically communicate with me and even vicariously inhabit my mind-body as ghostly passengers while themselves appearing to be "liberated" from the cumbersome confines of a physical body requiring constant upkeep and giving away their location and intentions)).

In the dream I found SED sleeping in my very narrow bed in my childhood bedroom (or a warped-looking version of it) which was part of the aforementioned mansion in that music video. My parents were in the master bedroom at the end of the upstairs hallway while my bedroom was at the other end of that hallway (just like "in real life"). My parents were trying to get me or SED to move into some bigger bed so both of us could fit and that bed was apparently in some other room of the house but I (and perhaps even SED) insisted we were fine sharing the smallish bed as I would lay partially on top of SED (who is slightly larger than me). I was craving getting under the dark blue felt blanket with him and enjoying his familiar sweaty warmth and distinct smell once again and postponing asking him questions about what happened to his latest partner, EK, so as to not break the comforting and hopeful illusion I had that SED and I were back together.

I asked SED if he wanted to sleep at his childhood bedroom at his dad's house because the bed there was apparently bigger and that house was apparently quieter with less random people running around inside of it. He said yes, but in a few more hours or minutes due to him needing to use the bathroom and both of us having activities to finish up first at the weird mansion house. 

Then I was sneaking off to what seemed like the unilluminated bottom floor of that vertically expanded living room while there were some random vintage looking bathroom interiors with illuminated green walls and florescent lights shining from the ceiling which was beneath a walkway on the floor above that floor. I walked or floated over there and then to the dead end corner; making a Fibonacci spiral turn down the stairs and around the perimeter of that bottom floor and to that vanity area (which was the only well lit and colorful looking part of the otherwise drably colored and shadow-entrenched room) and then to the dark little recession beneath the staircase to study something on my phone while curious onlookers above were looking over the railing and saying I was the one in the music video everyone was raving about as having very dark things to say.

Well, I thought I was done adding items to KARLINA_OBJECT_EXTENSION_PACK_21 as of 10:00PM Pacific Standard Time yesterday (i.e. 27_SEPTEMBER_2024). I will add this one last item just as a plain-text file as a bonus addition to that chapter of my blog before sealing it up again and marking it as finalized (i.e. set to be burned to M_DISCs). I have a set of three blank M_DISCs to pick up from Ross in Castro Valley later today. It is approximately 3:30AM Pacific Standard Time on 28_SEPTEMBER_2024 now.

[For the record, I intend to remain relationally single rather than "in partnership" with some person other than myself for the remainder of my existence. Also, I am quite comfortable remaining celibate for the remainder of my existence and feel the need to remind people that I self-administer (doctor prescribed) testosterone injections in order to acquire and maintain the masculine physiological traits I find personally useful and attractive (and not because I want to attract sex partners nor beat people up). I am basically my own boyfriend and by far the best I ever had and expect to ever have and am quite content to keep that arrangement exclusively "monogamous" and in tact for the remainder of my existence. Finally, the name of my blogging website (i.e. Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com) is not in pertinence to anti-abortion advocacy (whose proponents often describe their campaign against the abortion of human pregnancy as being "pro life" and not merely "anti abortion"). Instead, the name of that website was chosen by me to imply that I intend to remain committed to upkeeping and expanding the karbytes brand and personal identity for the remainder of my existence (and borrowing the colloquial phrase "for life" which is synonymous with the phrase "for the remainder of the life of some respective person" and often associated with incarceration sentences lasting for the remainder of the respective criminal convict's life (or existence)).]