/**
 * file: journal_karbytes_10november2024.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 09_NOVEMBER_2024
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
 */

It occurred to me that I might actually be mishearing what other people’s voices are saying (either due to some kind of brain abnormality I have and/or due to “deep state” law enforcement using technological means to cause me to experience auditory hallucinations which amount to me hearing voices and other sound effects apparently speaking the words the “deep state” seems to want me to hear). Based on what I am apparently “hallucinating”, seemingly most other people in my environment are part of the “deep state” and parroting its lingo and enforcing its social norms (which superficially makes me want to avoid being within hearing range of most other people (because the noises I hear them making sound deliberately intrusive, antagonistic towards seemingly only me, censoring of my thoughts, and generally designed to wear me down into letting other people tell me what to think, how to feel, what to pay attention to, but not much about what to do (which comes across to me as merely being told to shut up (stop thinking, writing, or even having verbal thoughts), writhe in the agony of being mentally tortured, and waste my time doing almost nothing (as though “the people” want to censor me from the public sphere, sterilize my otherwise fertile and active imagination, and essentially coerce me into sleeping my life away in a downtrodden and unproductive stupor full of disjointed and what I think are relatively useless and irrelevant (to me) thoughts)))). What coincides with this is people honking their horns or yelling incoherently in ways which sound like them angrily (but indirectly) suggesting that my thoughts went “out of line” and that I need to “humble” myself more by not being so adamant about following my own “special interest” trains of thought (seemingly so that I am almost perpetually available to be those people’s captive audience and captive advocate). As far as I can discern, people generally do not address the issues I broached in this journal entry with me (and if they do, they almost always tend to promote the idea that I am mentally ill and that the phenomena I described in this journal entry are entirely fabricated by my wayward brain (in need of psychiatric medication to quell such waywardness and/or institutionalized disciplinary measures to “beat” my wayward mind into submission to the “authorities” of social normalcy)). I think most people are too preoccupied with and mired in their own myopic worldviews and personal dramas to take requisite interest in what I have to say for me to genuinely feel psychologically validated by almost anyone (and I am not suggesting it should be otherwise (because a person only has a finite capacity to cognitively process information and, in order to survive and thrive, has to limit its investments to what best facilitate that person’s own satisfaction (instead of someone else’s))).