/**
 * file: journal_karbytes_14january2025.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 11_JANUARY_2025
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
 */

karbytes_0: "I am a misanthrope because I think that (too many) humans other than myself do not want me to exist (nor thrive (especially on my own terms as a self-sovereign individual))."

karbytes_1: "Shut up, hippie!"

karbytes_2: "To karbytes_0: I thought you were a nihilist only and not also a misanthrope."

karbytes_1: "This conversation needs to shut down. It does not deserve to take residence in any attention span."

karbytes_0: "To karbytes_1: Technically, nothing is inherently (i.e. objectively) deserved. In order for X to be deserving of Y, some ((first-person) subjective) frame of reference (especially one other than X but which percieves X and whether or not X has Y) Z needs to assert its own ethic which permits X to be 'justly' deserving of Y."

(karbytes: "(As I write this note now, I hear and feel the uptight, fearful, spiteful, and territorial 'vibes' of the patriarchy-mongering control freak men in my vicinity desperately trying to interfere with my (otherwise freerer (i.e. less intruded upon by other humans making intrusive noises seemingly on purpose)) 'speech' (in the form of simply writing a blog post). It is honestly sickeningl for me to keep bringing this up but even more sickeningly for me to experience this chronic disrespect and antagonism on a daily basis from a society of apes which demand that all female-bodied humans be bullied (using threat of physical violence) into conformity with the patriarchy's wishes. The women pretty much are little more than sycophantic lap dog lackees to whoever their patriarchs are. I am literally being bullied my my neighbors right now and my privacy is being invaded and my will to live is being toyed with. I wish they would leave me alone. I can feel that everyone around me (or almost everyone) is trying to egg on some kind of melt down from me. I might even have to relocate to my mom's house instead of my dad's house if this intolerable and disgusting behavior continues (and I do not find some way to cope with it other than self-harm)).").

karbytes_0: "In other words, X is only deserving of Y if Z thinks that X is deserving of Y."

(The people next door seem to be deliberately trying to make me too uncomfortable to live at my legal residence along with my father and perhaps even my mother and perhaps other people in relatively close proximity to this much-contested little plot of land where a red tent is currently set up and where I am supposedly 'hiding' and 'waiting' for 'The Establishment' to get out of my way when it could really be (and seems to be the case that) it is 'The Establishment' more so waiting for karbytes to get out of the way of 'The Establishment'. The real reason why projects take karbytes longer than karbytes think those projects would take if karbytes did not perceive that it was being intruded upon and bullied on a daily basis by neighbors (and neighbors who somehow demanded and got 'priveleged access' to karbytes' private thoughts 'in real time' so that those neighbors can play referree sadistically and in an oppressively controlling manner). I hate my neighbors and will no longer stop to talk to them nor wave hi anymore. This is war and I am subtly warning them that they or their property might take damage if I feel too encroached upon by them. Shit happens!).

(Working from home seems unethical if it means that I am subject to inhumane treatment, but maybe I am learning to get used to it so that I can work from almost anywhere. Now they are acting like I have to thank them and revolve around their whims for graciously allowing me to exist at my own residence (as if they themselves are armed law enforcement or security guards)).

(If I felt this way every day, I would say the satisfaction (and hence worthwhileness I feel in living and in continuing to live) would be less than 5/10 (where 10/10 is maximum satisfaction and 1/10 is minimum satisfaction). If I feel 1/10, I am basically suicidal. If I feel 10/10, I am basically fearlessly embodying my highest vision. I think humans are afraid that 10/10 is too high because those humans think that 10/10 is unsustainable. That would be a gross misunderstanding of what karbytes considers to be 10/10 worthy: not having to inflict further suffering on any sentient frame of reference beyond its rendering information processing agent system to handle and not fall to 1/10 (nor even much lower than 6/10 very often unless it is purely for non-menial tasks)).

karbytes: "It seems that I was coerced into getting rid of the other conversation participants for the sake of not having too much fun alone. Apparently, some people think I deserve to be punished and have what I think are my basic human rights 'revoked' for the 'crime' of not being as humble as they think I ought to be (which means dumbed down to me) and, ultimately, because I dare to remain single, childfree, and focused on my solitary hobbies more than anything else (instead of on being subservient to some social hierarchal institution however formal or large in participant number). I am essentially being ostracized and bullied by humans other than myself because those other humans think I am too self-focused (instead of the only other alternative which they think is acceptable for me to be: preoccupied with serving the patriarchy on its terms as some kind of care taker for people other than myself, baby sitter, child care person, teacher of children or special needs people, et cetera. I would rather not get too elaborate with that list of roles which I am not interested in performing (especially 'against my will'). I wanted to mention that, today while attempting to get a simple errand done (i.e. picking up a package I ordered from Amazon dot Com from a locker at a store using my bicycle to commute rather quickly and in a fun and wholesome way (at least initially)) ended up being more of an ordeal than I thought it would due mostly to me having difficulty tolerating the high population density and blatant disregard for my ethical values so ubiquitously and garishly adverstised. I think I will be able to keep a lid on it better next time. It does feel like an exercise in proving that free will ultimately does not exist (but we must convinglcy lie otherwise). I see how playing with metaphysics is no problem when I am alone in nature away from the wimmin, children, and bullish Fathers of small children. I see how thinking is threatening where keeping the women subordinate to the patriarchy is a paramount priority. I hear the women bleeting like scared angry sheep (and ugly I might add); ugly because they have settled for being reduced to slavish farm animals with no opinions nor hobbies nor 'will' of their own. Of course we dismiss free will as bogus (but men sure seem to be entitled to always having more of it than 'their' bitches). Sorry...radical feminist moment!"

karbyts_3: "More like Femi-Nazi!"

(This is no joke, though. Even on a Saturday they...oh nevermind. I think I will simply have to learn to be ready to up and leave on a moment's notice with more grace and ease. It does seem that I am learning to leave on someone else's terms and to make sure that someone else does not look like the enemy. Territorial pig apes! I am disgusted at heteronormativty and its coercive mate-raping in captivity. Of course there is scant room for genuine intellectual growth here. I hear the women and children constantly yelping out to alert us that they have no room to introspect. They must be like dogs in front of men and around men (which means all times because they never get a break from being in his vicinity and under his oppressive watch and control)).

karbytes: "The more time I spend on my own in this tent in the backyard, the more I notice other people deliberately trying to clamor for my attention every chance they get. I think they feel I owe them my destitution and homelessness. That is why I sometimes act like I hate all humans. A few nasty control freaky and politically and economically empowered ones use their sense of superiority over me to bully me into pretending that I am retarded or anti-social when I am simply more on the asocial (but not entirely opposed to high quality socializing (which means mutually chosen and planned rather than forced)) side and just prefer to limit my studies to what I think is (personally) useful and interesting. I get it: some people seriously seem to be opposed to my being an egoist (if not egotist). I say y'all can be as egotistical and self-serving as you want so long as you can get away with it. I try to not cause anyone to suffer any more than they would be without my existence. I wish every other person did the same thing."

karbytes: "Now I know it is important to emphasize the predation cycles in non-human animals and plants in non-human-cultivated ecosystems. Perhaps Mars will be terraformed into becoming a truly 'cruelty free' place for humans to thrive. Maybe Earth will remain a ghetto until murder and violence cease entirely. That would mean that many species would either have to go extinct or be kept alive in artificial circumstances where they are made to subsist on a 'cruelty free' diet. This is to say nothing of the 'cruelty' and 'suffering' caused by being raised in environments which do not allow the inhabitants to have fun on their own terms to an extent so stifling I think they would be better off left to fend for themselves as they traditionally have until they go extinct (or else find a way to keep surviving for an indefinitely long time)."

karbytes_0: "What do you want for your birthday karbytes? The big 35 is coming up soon."

karbytes_1: "I want to be karbytes forever after. All I want is karbytes (or, to be even more specific, the uncomprimised embodiment and evolution of karbytes (which is a marvelous thing for Nature to behold and to substantiate for an indefinitely long time which always approaches infinity forever after this sentence is written)."

karbytes_0: "And would you like a side of fries with that?"

karbytes_1: "Yes, and make it a large fries with chilli beans on it (vegan of course)."

karbytes_0: "Never mention it. Everything which passes through your puritanical lips might as well only be plant-based for now on. Otherwise, I would call you a prisoner or a victim of intentional or uninentional sabotage. But whatever. I think humans in some places are too myopically preoccupied with petty things while losing sight of a bigger and more nuanced and complex perspective. I am saying that talking about ethics (unless it is entirely in a situational manner) is generally a waste of time (but not if you are a developer of artificial intelligence or a philosopher interested in ethics, decision-making, determism, and volition). Ultimately all I have as a heuristic for navigating the maze through space and time I am passing through to make this note and to eventually later read it as a dark web page is my intuition. In other words, I only seem to do what feels like the path of least resistance (but then again, a compatibilist part of me whimsically says that free will is willed into existence out of pure unbounded nothingness)."

karbytes: "Well, that was embarassing. I hope this note will do. I hope I can refrain from making a big stink about people other than myself and who also live in Castro Valley, California for the remaninder of my lifespan. I hope because I do not want to allow attention whores and control freaks other than myself to somehow manipulate me into making my blog call attention to them instead of to subject matter I think is more approriate for the karbytes brand (as karbytes itself speaking). karbytes created (and creates) karbytes. karbytes is an enterprise in self-creation and self-sustaining. karbytes is not the only person which inhabits its universe and karbytes is forced to contend with those other inhabitants. karbytes prefers to focus on the subject of exploring the boundaries between hardware and software (or, more generally, the boundaries or differences between cyberspace and physical space (which also seems to include time). I was thinking earlier that, just accounting for purely mathematical phenomena such as Cartesian space, time need not exist for lengths nor for other quantities to be measured (especially as multiple geometric phenomena such as length, area, volume, and position inter-depend on each other (and I almost said inter-act but decided instead to say depend to highlight the timelessness of purely mathematical objects. Physical (including informational (including software)) objects seem to incur entropy as part of their 'cost of existing'))."

karbytes: "Real estate is a really big deal. The territorial disputes are so pervasive. Apparently, the bored house wives have a problem with me doing 'tech school' and they do not have anything other to do than try to make my 'tech school' experience as unpleasant as possible. Fuck that miserable cunt! Actually, don't. The world don't need more babies from that hag. She's already burden enough. I'm sure that, in order to earn her keep here in these parts, she had to output at least a few little twat fruits of some apex predator who thinks he owns her and her right to not avoid being relegated to squalor and being treated as a delinquent just for being homeless and without a liveable income."

karbytes: "Don't piss off The Patriarchy or you will basically be relegated to a prisoner class. (I hear angry men revving their gasoline guzzlers and saying angry-sounding things. The men and women are yelling and some engine is being revved. I heard that woman say, 'Get out of that baby chair.' They are not leaving me alone. I wish I could call 911 and have this fight stopped once and for all. These people keep trying to 'edge' me with the way they rev that engine repeatedly. I hear them scolding me for wanting to sit alone and focus on my writings. I am in serious trouble because I feel like I am being fored to stop what I am doing to confront them. They are escalating it by honking too (in addition to the other things they are doing). They are honking multple times. This is overt bullying (and they think they can get away with it because they are doing it in a way which is hard to prove and catch in time). I am often way more stressed out than I intend to be because of people who live next to my legal residence. My quality of life has definitely been diminished significantly because of other people's antagonistic (yet lawful) behavior."