/**
 * file: karbytes_21_november_2023.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 21_NOVEMBER_2023
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN 
 */

If I am prevented from killing myself because other people physically intervene such that I am prevented from killing myself, then I admit that I am in a prison in which I am forced to remain alive for the purpose of making my captors feel good and, also, while I am forced to remain alive by those people (until they decide to have me killed in some way), I am most likely always being physically prevented from doing anything other than what my captors want me to (unless I find ways to do things which those people do not want me to do by means such as having alleged government-sanctioned (by the Constitution of the United States of America) "unalienable human rights" such as the freedom to move, communicate, and think in ways which do not directly or obviously pertain seriously harm humans other than myself (though the humans are known to almost inevitably find ways to think and act in ways which might be considered to be socially or governmentally illegal perhaps because "the system" makes special exceptions (depending on the specific situational context) for some persons some of the time).

If I am physically prevented from carrying out thoughts, behaviors, or psychosomatic states "against my will" by entities which are external to my individual human nervous system, then I basically have no agency (or, at the very least (in that situation), I would only a tiny bit of "wiggle room" to operate in ways which I consciously will or consciously attempt to induce). If I have only a negligible amount of agency at most, then I am basically a sentient puppet being forced to live, think, and perceive in ways which are entirely chosen for me by entities which are external to my individual nervous system. In such a situation, I would not be able to do anything other than compulsively carry out the instructions which are fed to me from those external entities much the way a digital computer does nothing unless it is fed programmatic instructions in the form of software and data inputs.

I think there are a lot of people who prefer that I literally be set up to be as lacking in agency and as subject to totalitarian control by entities which are external to my native or chosen nervous system as I just described because that would ensure that I would only not be able to do much other than be a sentient organic computer which is quite literally a prisoner in its own body forced to accommodate people other than itself (which seems to satiate many angry, miserable, and downtrodden humans craving to see someone they would otherwise be envious of be severely disenfranchised).

From my current point of view, most humans would rather live in denial of what bothers them if they think there is nothing they can personally do to eradicate what bothers them. Hence, most people seem to "automatically" and with unwavering loyalty default to pandering to mongers of the status quo (and that status quo is patriarchal, anti-queer, anti-abortion, anti-environmentalist, anti-intellectual, and daresay even anti-health). Hence, rather than vainly attempt to convert people to my religion, I feel socially obliged to put as little pressure on other people as possible and to be a paragon of living by the maxim: "every person is always doing the best it can with what it has". (Of course, it seems almost physically impossible for me to suppress the thoughts and emotions I have which are basically condemning of those other people for their failure or refusal to adhere to my personal ethical standards. Hence, I am almost always "at war" with other people who insist on censoring my thoughts, oral and written communications, artistic expression, bodily movements, and altered states of consciousness for the sake of protecting what I imagine to be tyrannical, impatient, war-mongering, and extremely wealthy and politically powerful white male infants from feeling threatened in any way. His ego seems to be the center of human civilization and the defacto leader of "The People").

Another thing I want to mention in this journal which is a bit of a tangent but is somewhat related to the ideas which I wrote about in this note is the eeire lack of claimed agency I see in what I assume to be woman commenting on web articles about anti abortion laws in the United States of America. I noticed that a lot of those wimmin express themselves in terms which make them seem to be parodies of themselves in how little they seem to generate well-worded, logos-over-pathos statements because what they usually do is express themselves in terms which sound like a wounded child screaming and crying about not being able to have what they want. Given that women supposedly make up half the human population, it seems absurd to me that women act to powerless at the hands of the men they claim to be preventing women from having control of their bodies. I hear that sequence of words quite a lot in the media: "men controlling women's bodies". Because women are oppressed (and I daresay at least partially self-oppressed) by patriarchal social norms to the point that I rarely ever hear women generate well-articulated, well-researched, and logically-sound arguments to anything. Hence, they rarely get as specific and objective (i.e. speaking in purely physical rather than abstract or idealistic terms) as I would when discussing "controversial" topics such as reproductive rights. To me, the women almost seem to be implicitly screaming, crying, and begging for help while acting docile, nonchalant, and hyper sexualized; perhaps waiting for someone like me (or someone like who I imagine to be my most ideal friend and mentor) to come down from some "higher plane of existence" into this relatively "low-level" plane to help humanity overcome its problems (which stem almost entirely if not entirely from humanity's cognitive deficiencies and residual fight-or-flight mechanisms which might be impeding more than helping humanity modernize and hence become truly nonviolent and ecologically sustainable).

When I hear people say the cliche that men in government offices are "controlling women's bodies", I cannot help but imagine something which almost makes me hate women just for acting in the following way: like meat puppets compulsively twerking and making a dumbed-down baby facial expression while moaning plaintively because they are being controlled by electromagnetic signals propagated from some remote source. It's as though the women are saying that they need me (or some person other than themselves) to "read between the lines" of what those apparently flippant twats are saying and intuit that  those women are indeed victims of being completely controlled from the outside in by some entity other than themselves so that those poor women have a chance of being rescued and liberated from their horrific covert prisons of roboticized flesh. What I really want to emphasize is that I rarely ever hear women suggest that women simply use more reliable forms of birth control than the cheap and flimsy methods which seem to be most popular if not boycott having sex with men altogether. It seems that women are implicitly forbidden from being celibate and even single. It also seems that transgendered people are not allowed to exist. (I am legally and logistically able to inject myself with testosterone as part of my "trans-masculine" (female-to-male) gender identity and expression but almost no one calls me by the names and pronouns I prefer to be referred to as. (I prefer being referred to as karbytes or Kar and my preferred gender pronouns are it or he/him) I rarely try to broach this subject with people directly because they seem to be militant when it comes to trying to shut down my personal expression because how I (prefer to) think and behave defies the conventions those people seem to police each other dogmatically into never deviating from for even a microsecond (and they frequently seem to resort to "retaliating" against me merely for attempting to achieve my lifestyle goals instead of sitting on my hands and letting someone else think for me or else not thinking much at all (but thinking and behaving in ways which consume the least amount of energy, time, and especially money in terms of keeping oneself alive and at least somewhat comfortable))).

Anyway, it seems that I am, to some extent (in some contexts) forced to always be "retaliated against" by other people because other people (or "the system") traps me into behaving in ways which are almost guaranteed to inspire people to want to act in antagonistic ways towards me. Hence, I feel the need (and desire) to abstain from intimate relationships and socializing beyond the bare minimum needed to survive and to accomplish my personal goals and to limit almost all of my self expression to what I present via my personal websites and social media presence.

A significant part of what my Internet based intellectual property is about is solipsism. Logically and empirically speaking, it is (arguably) impossible to prove whether or not anything exists outside of one's own mind. Hence, if YOU are reading this note, it is assumed by the author of this note that YOU are the only person YOU will ever know for sure exists and that any other persons you imagine or observe via your sense organs to exist are merely qualia in your (presumably non-omniscient) frame of reference. Related to the solipsistic concept of "I the only mind I know for sure has ever existed" is the pantheist concept of "each person is a fragment of one universal mind" or, perhaps more contextually relevant, the concept that "each person is ultimately one particular version of every other person".

The idea that all things are unified inside of one spatially and temporally ubiquitous irreducible substrate which is consciousness itself is what I think is the most logically sound and emotionally compelling ideological basis available for ending violence, cruelty, and ecological destruction because it makes me feel that literally everything is a part of myself (and that what I fundamentally am is much larger than just one human body). (It is hard for me to feel comfortable about polluting the air given that I feel that is literally the same thing as inhaling pollution). If that is the case, then why have I (apparently) been localized to exactly one human individual's locus of agency instead of "zooming in" or "zooming out" (of levels of hive-mind awareness) or "teleporting" to inhabit the locus of agency of some other person? Well, let me tell you something which I think sounds pretty darn "politically incorrect": the idea that a person only experiences what that person consciously or subconsciously wills into existence. I do think that I am one of the most fortunate humans to have ever lived and I think that is because I have been reincarnated sufficiently many times and have gone through sufficiently many karmic credit building experiences to attain what seems like the peak of human experience. It seems that I manifested exactly the circumstances I wanted to inhabit throughout my entire life as I currently recall my life to have been (since the day I imagine to be 13_JANUARY_1990). I feel that I have finally incarnated into the ego I am ready to "check out" from the ego store and keep forever. I love karbytes and I want karbytes to evolve and to prosper forever by discovering and implementing means for attaining immortality of the localized self (i.e. the information processing agent named karbytes) and that self's environment (i.e. the universe in which karbytes currently resides or at least the intellectual property referred to as karbytes within that universe).

After I publish this note I intend to restrict what I publish in the future as part of the karbytes Internet based collection of intellectual property (i.e. the intellectual property which constitutes the websites named Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com and Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com) such that it mostly (if not entirely) caters exclusively to karbytes' personal interests instead of to what seems to be more interesting to humans other than karbytes than to karbytes. Hence, I will not be issuing any more apologies, regrets, nor "corrections" (i.e. edits) to what has already been published as a stub web page and not as a directory web page on my personal websites or in public GitHub repositories which host files which hyperlinks within those personal websites link to).

If I do not make any updates to my personal websites, my public GitHub repositories, or my social media profiles for more than one month, I think it would almost certainly be the result of me being incarcerated, kidnapped (and held hostage), incapacitated (e.g. in a comatose, brain damaged, or paralyzed state), or killed (e.g. by dying of asphyxiation due to my lungs not being functional after inhaling a large amount of pollution from petroleum combusting vehicle exhaust for a long enough period of time).

Sometimes it seems that I am one of the only human I know who is not part of an anti-enviromentalist, anti-veganism, and anti intellectual freedom cult. Going into specifics would seemingly take me "too much time" to explain coherently enough for me to be considered worthwhile. There are other things I would rather spend my time trying to accomplish than addressing the disrespectful or idiotic behavior other humans engage in which inevitably affects me. After all, there seem to be far more of those death cult following drones than there are "woke ones" like me inhabiting human civilization at this time. I know I have sounded arrogant, myopic, ethnocentric, and perhaps even factually incorrect at times. I hope to be more professional in my conduct in the future irregardless of how other apes in my midst think and behave.

Finally, in case the following is not already obvious to YOU (and perhaps to other readers (if any have ever existed) of my web content), I figured I should say it clearly for the last (if not only time): my writing sometimes contains facetious and hyperbolic information instead of content which is as objective and science-based as I believe it could be (if only I censored my content more carefully to be as apolitical, objective, and science-based as possible). Exaggerating and daresay including fictional details in my anecdotes has been somewhat pleasurable for me and, at the time, seemed to be the most strategic way to accomplish my goals (which included more than sounding authoritative, but more importantly, candid). I had an agenda to be candid about my personal experiences with myself and with the general public so that I would not have some metaphorical "Keep Out" sign taped to my metaphorical bedroom door which only seems to encourage people to break down that door and force their way into my room to see what I am hiding that warranted a "Keep Out" sign. Now that I showed you how empty of a room it is, I am now discretely attempting to close that door (but without a big neon sign flashing the words "Keep Out" on it this time). I basically have nothing to hide other than account login credentials and other information which I keep private for the sake of avoiding my property getting stolen. I am not seriously worried about social ostracization and being gang stalked and bullied by other apes because I am used to it and believe that such meddling will never stop so long as there is such a high volume of angry, destitute, and most of all, miseducated people (but those qualifiers are rather subjective rather than objective (and I am sick of trifling over fluffy subjective terms when I would rather be dealing almost exclusively with physically measurable and quantifiable subject matter).

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One last thing: the target audience of the Internet based intellectual property which I refer to as karbytes is future (and/or parallel) versions of myself. Hence, if I end up being the only person who observes that content, bringing that content into existence and keeping it as permanently in tact and accessible to me as possible feels sufficiently worthwhile to me. I do have hope that people other than myself will eventually take interest in that content if I make efforts to keep that content preserved on the public World Wide Web. Also, there is no person I am trying to hide that content from. I mean for ALL of that content to literally be accessible on the surface Web to ALL people for as long as the Internet and human civilization exist (if not longer). If everything I claim to be invested in gets destroyed, I can at least take a modicum of comfort in the idea that, from nature's point of view, time does not exist. Hence, if what I said is true, then all events which have ever occurred (and my memory and senses inform me that a particular sequence of events has occurred in exactly one chronological order from my point of view) are eternally preserved as indestructible ornaments on the changeless and all-encompassing Christmas tree which contains every sequence of events which ever occurred or which has the potential to occur (from my point of view). I understand that many people condemn me for appearing to be too attached to keeping material objects preserved instead of buying into the almost dogmatically axiomatic premise that all physical objects (including software and the memories stored in organic biological brains) are doomed to get altered and then destroyed after enough time elapses. I would rather dismiss that "nothing lasts forever" maxim as part of the death cult I do not wish to be a slavish devotee to. Hence, people think I worry too much about trying to keep the stuff I cherish in mint condition. Those people and I simply have differing points of view and, hence, different priorities. I will try my best (as I always do, but for now on, with more fervor than ever) to not impede on other people's free will even if they do not return the favor.

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Okay, one last thing (I promise(!)): I bet that, within 30 days from now, I will have zero issues with people which warrant me making complaint notes about. I expect that I will work out whatever my personal issues are which have been preventing me from being as happy and productive as I want to be. I have long felt that I have been blessed with all the material and informational and even social resources I need to succeed at the goals I have set out to accomplish (and part of that bodacious bounty of blessings is being born in what seems to be the most optimal time and place to get deeply immersed in computer technology; especially the Internet). All I need to do in order to utilize those resources and yield a high value output which no one has ever before generated is more time and opportunity to learn by doing what it is that seems to be most worth my time doing (from ALL perspectives).

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"...infinite tries so that no one dies one last time..."