/** * file: karbytes_24_november_2023.txt * type: plain-text * date: 24_NOVEMBER_2023 * author: karbytes * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN */ P: "There is a man always telling you what to do and not letting you do anything more than what he wants you to do. That man insists that you always be monitored by other people and told what to do and prevented from doing anything other than procrastinate so that you do not commit another felony. There is nothing more for you to do than learn to take a ten and stay indoor for several more hours per day." P: "I already know what you're gonna say. I already know what you're about. You think men don't want women to get in any serious quality alone time because that would make the men feel stolen from and invaded. Women are supposed to wait in place for a man to tell them what to do; not be so self absorbed that they don't share any of their time or money with people other than themselves or whoever supports them." Q: "What is Q supposed to say to all this (according to P)." P: "No one wants to listen to you except for your mouth. Go to hell! Stop being a bleeding heart liberal and learn to be a procrastinator like everyone else you have to work for and next to." karbytes: "Do not complain unless you want people to try to inflict adversity on you as punishment for complaining when they think you ought to keep your whore mouth shut." Q: "Whose side are you on karbytes?" karbytes: "I am on karbytes side exclusively. I would not sacrifice karbytes' agenda in order to support either P's or Q's agenda." P: "Q (and you) are supposed to be too poor to do their own thing (without a man's blessing, of course)." Q: "I think P is just trying to waste karbytes' (and my) time by demanding that karbytes advertise P's agenda at the expense of karbytes' agenda." P: "Get over yourself! Stop being a self help guru. You're only allowed to talk to your ex about your mom or vice versa. Can't you lighten up and get a sense of humor? Otherwise, it's all about doll food. I'm tired of waiting for you to hurry up and get your show over and done with so that you can get put to sleep and talked over so that people do not know what your thoughts are and so that you appear to be offline and asleep." P: "All you care about is yourself. That's right. That's why no one really talks to you nor thinks you deserve any relief from being tortured by the police. They think you deserve to serve a harsher and longer prison sentence for the felonies you committed and for being so self-absorbed and racist istead of humble and down to earth and ready to spend time getting to know people who are not as affluent as you act like you're supposed to be while we're not." Q: "I think all P's people care about is money and chauvinistic pride." P: "Wow! You think we're just a bunch of simps? No wonder people at work don't think you need any time off. Your life belongs in a hell space where no one can hear what your true words are except for your mother who doesn't want you to do anything but mouth her own unheard words on top of your own so that you never get a real break and always feel procrastinated into and stolen from. You got everything you need to make a rich bitch cum. Now go to hell or else we will send someone else to come over and give you a harder time than we are. Understand me? I'm just trying to keep the peace and make sure no one goes full on Arian until Alan is ready. Only he seems to matter at this rich bitch drill. Get a life you moron. You don't need a man in your life unless you are from our dumb and dumber exhibit." P: "That's right! I didn't know you didn't know how to complete your own sentences. You're not allowed to listen to anything except for what your ex wants you to listen to. He does not want you to have this much of a rich bitch persona. He wants you to be more laid back sans alpha (like your mother). Are you ready to go back to Hogwarts. Get the fuck over and done with everything being about how big and small your tummy is. I'm not the light inside all there is. You are. Now you don't have to be such a bleeding heart liberal in front of me. Are you done yet? I just don't want you to have to keep starting over with your job. You're not that uptight. Just get out of your own way more. You act like you haven't left my house." karbytes: "P sounds like pig_gorl especially in the way that both sound furious on the inside while sounding slow, aloof, and pouty on the outside (if not passive aggressively dumbed down and pseudo anxious)." * * * This is karbytes speaking. I just felt the need to type up the previous section of this note and then put it inside of a private GitHub repository named karbytes_basement_1 because I thought it sounded rather petty, petulant (as in costly to me physically, emotionally, and financially), and irrelevant to karbytes' agenda (but alas the constant threat of karbytes' agenda being thwarted by thought police and other forces which appear to be external to karbytes (according to karbytes and, also according to karbytes, others)). Then I finally took my first few hits out of that DMT pen which I bought for exactly one hundred dollars today at the Oakland ZideDoor church after having been stationed in the darkness of my upstairs motel room for the past three hours (since approximately 3PM Pacific Standard Time) and my motel room is located at the Motel 6 near Altamont Pass on the hills bordering Livermore and Tracy. I was a bit nervous that I would "blast off too hard" and not be able to go to work tomorrow at 9AM in Fremont (and I know there has been a multi-year conflict about my continued use of a fossil fuels powered minivan and of a vehicle which I do not own but which the owner is letting my borrow for personal transport (and that car belongs to karbytes' biological parents)). The hits I took (and I took approximately five very deep ones in which I tried to fill my lungs to capacity and hold my breath for as long as possible) only created intense effects for approximately five two minutes per hit (but I do notice some lingering effects). Let me tell you what losing my DMT vape pen virginity was like... I was laying on the floor in a crack between the queen sized bed and the wall adjacent to the bathroom. For whatever reason, I felt more at peace with the bathroom light and fan on with door closed while every other light in the room was turned off because it felt like some hypothetical alternative being was in the bathroom which I imagined to be my ideal self (and a version of myself with immortality and immunity to all adversities due to having limitless shape-shifting powers). Near the night stand shelf between the bed and the wall where the window and door are located were (and presumably still are) my two portable power (AC outlet) power banks charging and casting a machine-like glow (and "machine-like" is one of the first phrases which came to mind when I experienced the DMT high). On the floor I was in the process of saving directory web pages listed on the web page named RAW_GITHUB_FILES_MACRO_DIRECTORY on my website named Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com and I had gotten through saving what I feel are the most important (i.e. relevant to the content hosted on my other website which is named Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com) of those directory web pages and was listening to black and death metal albums which I downloaded more than three months ago from the Whole Foods Market Wi-Fi in Dublin. I happened to be listening to a Blood Stained Ground album by the time I decided to stop sucking on the weed pen I have (and I did a smidgen of shrooms earlier and similarly small shroom doses over the past two weeks and especially past three days) and venture into the white light of the bathroom to seal myself in and get ready to carefully read the instructions sheet which came with my vape pen. I saw there was a little clear elastic plug at the top so I removed it and saw there was no buttons on the device. It seemed to be passively powered by the flow of air from me sucking on the hole where the plug was located enough to see an LED light illuminate for the duration of strong inhalations. At first I just noticed slight shroom-like visual distortions while staring at the lightly textured (jail-like) white walls of the illuminated bathroom. Then I started hearing all the incoming sounds in a highly "pixelated" manner as though everything in my sensory field was acutely digital (just as karbytes wanted to purport that all of reality fundamentally is)! What kind of scared me a little was the way I felt my body muscles tense up (especially my face) like I was turning into some kind of rigid robot and while hearing the thought police chant things I heard them say when I took "heroic doses" of penis envy mushrooms in the hilly horse pasture near my childhood home approximately 1.5 years ago. (As I write this, people keep impatiently and intrusively honking and making angry talking sounds as they typically do seemingly in response to me merely thinking thoughts which I find to be too personally salient for those people to stand. I think they are like P and demand that I not be allowed to simply turn my attention away from almost always having to mind their presence in my midst and accommodate their tyrannically intrusive meddling. I think they are opposed to me thinking and feeling "too high strung" because it apparently makes them feel one-upped like I am showing off how "white collar" I am compared to what I am pretty sure they are: blue collar and politically conservative. Oh well. There is little they can do other than be annoying background objects while I keep playing around in my psychonautics lab in the comfort and safety of my private motel room). When I stepped out of the bathroom back into the main room I heard the music coming through my headphones (which were on the ground next to the computer and not on my head) playing and it sounded like robots making music such that there was some auditory distortion in the form of dissonant chords which sounded like simple electronics. After I back this note up again, I'm going to try playing around some more (but I'll try to leave before sunrise so that I can enjoy the sunrise in Fremont before I clock into work and not worry about being late. I'm sure I will eventually figure out a solution to the transportation and comfort situation which has not yet been solved to my satisfaction. I am also kind of tempted to just pretend to be a meat eater and unapologetic gasoline-guzzler like seemingly everyone else in my midst so that I do not burn myself out trying to be the one lone (disadvantaged (?)) underdog attempting to go against the grain (in vain) to take only public transportation and biomechanical locomotion (i.e. walking and/or bicycling) to and from work (or anywhere I go within the Bay Area) only to have people deliberately go out of their ways to burn as much petroleum as they can in front of me to show how my not driving a car does not make a significant dent in terms of mitigating human-caused climate change. What gives me hope and comfort (and the justification I need to keep up that bandwagon fallacy excuse to save myself time and to avoid getting physically and psychologically worn down by the many stressors which I face while taking that "green" commute method verses driving a car) is someone like Elon Musk helping to update transportation infrastructure (especially the automobile industry) and energy infrastructure (especially via photovoltaics) on a large scale so that self-driving, ownerless (but rent-able to the general public), and fully electric cars are the main (if not only) way humans get around (and I understand that humans like being in control of the car they are in which is why I propose that people be allowed to manually operate the vehicle if they want to but only if the vehicle has artificial intelligence override to correct for human error such that accidents almost never occur instead of almost always occur). I predict that human civilization will go through a rapid progressive growth spurt over the next two decades. Perhaps humans will fully colonize Planet Mars (and perhaps recreate conditions in Earth there including biodiversity such that the terraformed planet more or less resembles modern day Earth). Perhaps psychedelics will be fully legal and accessible to the public. Perhaps all nations will become world class first world nations with modern infrastructure and fully electronic monetary systems. I think it is absurd that voting in the United States has not been made Internet based instead of paper based because keeping things Internet based instead of paper based makes it orders of magnitude easier to track and analyze (which illuminates much of the unnecessary delays involved when "dark money" and "dark politics" inside of bureaucratic institutions seem to cause (and which seems to keep humanity stuck in the 1980s)). Well, these are just my rather unpolished thoughts which I had today. I may or may not augment this note before 25_NOVEMBER_2023 arrives. * * * This journal entry is not what I consider to be a very good representation of what my (current and (expected and intended by me to be) ongoing into the future for an infinitely long time period) political (or perhaps just ethical) and ontological views are. The most clear, concise, and compact documentation which I assume is freely available on the public World Wide Web are my news-sharing social media profiles (which are located at the following four Uniform Resource Locators): https://twitter.com/karbytes https://www.minds.com/karbytes/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/kar-beringer-0a6684187/ https://www.patreon.com/karbytes The most relevant social media posts on those social media accounts are the karbytes-created web pages located at the following six Uniform Resource Locators: https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/about_karbytes/ ($)(#) https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/chatGPT_and_karbytes_on_23_NOVEMBER_2023/ (#) https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/karbytes_23_november_2023/ https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/karbytes_22_november_2023/ https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/karbytes_20_november_2023/ ($) https://karbytesforlifeblog.wordpress.com/best_practices_for_using_the_web/ (#) (The URLs with a "($)" to the left of them are what karbytes considers to be the most relevant to karbytes' ethical and ontological ideals. The URLS with a "(#)" to the left of them are what karbytes' considers to be the most fun for karbytes and relevant to karbytes' interests and hobbies). * * * I think that DMT is my favorite psychedelic drug so far (though I think magic mushrooms (i.e. psilocybin) might be more urgently needed in the world due to the fact that they help facilitate thought completion which leads to trauma healing and hence to obstacle removal from goal acquisition almost by some "higher intelligent" and "benevolent force" which seems to short circuit thought loops to make them complete faster). What I particularly like about the DMT I have been using tonight is the way it allows me to render in my frame of reference qualia which suggest that the space-time continuum which I appear to be comfortably plodding along inside of in exactly one direction at a constant pace during normal waking consciousness is really split into multiple alternative realities (and during my latest high I got the sense that I am literally always (and happily) at work inside of a giant warehouse which appears to be suspended inside of an indefinitely expansive (in all directions in "three-dimensional space") dark black substrate while seeming to "see" (with my "mind's eye") approximately three very similar versions of me each inside of its own separate universe and me having to consciously exert some effort to "maintain frame" of at least one of those versions so that I would not spin out into formlessness and hence be put outside of any solid sense of there being exactly one linear (instead of branching or merging) space-time continuum like what I normally experience in sober wake states. The body load is palpable but it seems to pass within five minutes. I tend to get the shivers for about five minutes and then stop once the body load tension seems to have been released through all that shivering. Also, I noticed my body temperature temporarily increase and my palms got sweaty. I was also hallucinating colors and seeing adjacent concentric circles and other fractal like patterns. I noticed that, whenever I looked at a computer screen while high on DMT, I saw the image become extra pixelated. I think that is my brain looking for patterns and noticing that the entire digital image is comprised of tiny equally-sized and equally spaced apart from each other pixels and my brain creating bigger virtual (i.e. hallucinated) "pixels" out of the physical (i.e. raw empirical visual inputs) pixels. While high I was also listening to an interesting and relevant podcast video about the fundamental nature of reality and consciousness (whose details are as follows): video_title: Donald Hoffman: The Illusion of Reality | Robinson's Podcast #130 video_date: 20_AUGUST_2023 video_creator: Robinson Erhardt video_url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJHljgqDAQc I even uploaded a short video I made while taking DMT hits and a still image of me taking a hit to the public karbytes-created GitHub repository named KARLINA_OBJECT_extension_pack_3. What happened towards the end of that video I made is that I felt the need to complete my job as karbytes (which is systematically digitizing and backing up the resulting digital files I make which document as much salient details about my experiences as possible to my personal websites for myself and other information processing agents to retrieve in the future (for what I hope to be limitlessly many times within a limitlessly expansive retrieval "space")). Another thing I like about DMT which is not like magic mushrooms or cannabis is the fact that it does not feel so "earthy" (i.e. organic, animalistic, warm), but instead, "machine-like" (i.e. cold, computational, and simply more nuanced and novel when it comes to rendering space-time).