/**
 * file: karbytes_25_march_2024.txt
 * type: plain-text
 * date: 25_MARCH_2024
 * author: karbytes
 * license: PUBLIC_DOMAIN
 */

I have been applying to some warehouse jobs which I saw posted on Indeed dot Com over the past three days, but all of those jobs seem to require that I drive a car to commute to them and none of them are with Amazon (and I am strongly considering waiting until Amazon starts posting local warehouse jobs again on Indeed dot Com even if that means I stay unemployed until November 2024). Today I managed to pay all my bills which are due within a month but I had to cut back on food and BART expenses to do so (and the petroleum powered minivan which I am borrowing from my parents is generally parked at the 666 parking space in the East Dublin BART parking garage when I am not using that vehicle for occasional errands or for commuting to work and job interviews). I am actually having fun being as frugal as my circumstances allow me to be (and I have been getting around primarily by walking and riding my new bike which my mom helped me pay for and which I ordered and picked up from the Walmart in Pleasanton for less than $200 three days ago (and the bicycle was delivered to me pre-assembled even though I didn't pay extra for that assembly (and I apparently only get that "royal treatment" if I drive a car instead of walk))). Yesterday morning and afternoon I was high on a "very large microdose" of psilomethoxin (which made me a bit queasy and triggered a cascade of thoughts about the evolution and future of humanity and my place in it (which I think was instrumental in helping me get up to date in terms of my logistical and philosophical decision making and contemplations)). Yesterday I picked up six blank M_DISCs from the Taube Amazon locker in Castro Valley and burned four of those discs with the data collection named karbytes_20march2024_core and two of those discs with the data collection named karbytes_20march2024_journals (and then I placed all six of those finalized discs inside of a fireproof compact disc zip-locking container which contains only those six discs and then placed that compact disc container inside of the metal safe (which also contains paper printouts of all the PDFs in KARLINA_OBJECT_EXTENSION_PACK_9 inside of clear plastic page protectors inside of a three-ring binder which I assembled approximately five days ago) inside of my Public Storage unit bordering the Castro Valley BART station)). After that, I saved pages of my websites to the WayBack Machine at Archive dot Org while watching the moon rise near Ramage Peak trail north of the Redwood Canyon Golf Course and enjoyed the serene naturalistic beauty and geeking out as much as I could afford to. I downloaded the Google Earth app on my phone and used it to explore a three-dimensional map of the area near my house and where I was hanging out in the wilderness and was delighted to see details of my house etched into a Playstation One-esque virtual replica of my home environment. I saw that the virtual replica depicted the curtains drawn open in my bedroom at my legal residence and chairs under the patio roof. I looked at the fancy modern house across the street in that virtual model and saw how detailed it looked from various angles. I explored the sprawling wilderness which I was hiding at and saw that it sprawls for miles in the northeast direction and borders Lafayette. When I tried exploring the Newark area, I ran out of high speed mobile data and used some of my food money to purchase more of such data (and I deleted the Google Earth app in order to prevent myself from using up too much data).

Today I am mostly just hanging out like a hobo (but not a trashy one) near the Peet's coffee shop in Castro Valley to read the news, drink coffee slowly, browse Indeed dot Com, and make more saves of my website pages to the WayBack Machine at Archive dot Org. I tentatively plan on continuing to do more of this kind of thing for the next few weeks if not months while fine-tuning how I budget and spend my resources so that I can maximize progress towards my goals. I feel that my two websites (i.e. Karlina Object dot WordPress dot Com and Karbytes For Life Blog dot WordPress dot Com) succinctly yet thoroughly encapsulate my worldview and ethics such that I can effectively "play dead" online and not make any significant updates to those two websites for at least two months (but I feel inclined to try extending that hiatus from public blogging for at least six months if not an entire year or longer). That is because I feel that not enough human beings care enough about environmental sustainability and civil liberties issues and are, instead, tyrannically opposed to any thought and expression which undermines the republican status quo to essentially normalize and enforce rape culture, irreverence towards Gaia, and staunch anti-intellectualism (which seems to promote violence and revenge-driven mob behaviors which I find so abhorrent that I genuinely relish not acting submissive and sycophantic towards most humans because I think most humans act like cowards and normalizers of those patterns I find abhorrent and I get a little innocent "revenge" not treating such people as being worthy of my admiration and subservience while they act offended that I'm not more dog-like towards them)). I have seen a lot of non-introvert and breeder-centric and implicitly pro-rape humans get uppity at me merely for doing my own thing in public without seeking approval from others and without acting needy for an intimate partner. I would dare say that most of the humans in my midst act like being single is a crime and so is being as hardworking and single-minded about achieving one's personal goals as I aspire to be. I think the best I can do to promote the collective welfare of humans (and Gaia) is to keep single-mindedly pursuing my goals while remaining hermetic, celibate, and what many consider to be cold and robot-like (but really I think I am deeply empathic, contemplative, resilient, brave, humble, and hard-working).

* * *

Today I read some news about how artificial intelligence is being trained to detect homeless encampments in the San Jose region (and also how many homeless people were ordered to leave the area after setting up their makeshift "households" near some hiking trail which housed people complained were littered with trash and tents from homeless people (and I also am aware that there have been wars waging in the Middle East and in Eastern Europe during the past three years which I have not heard of being explicitly ended and which have resulted in many civilians being murdered, seriously injured, and lots of damage to societal infrastructure which amounts to turning relatively "first world" societies into "third world" societies at best (and such genocide-level warfare has been happening while it seems that most mainstream news and people living in my country have been adamantly opposed to paying any serious attention to such matters and how my country and the civilians in it are at least partially responsible for such widespread violence and destruction to human civilization))). 

Here is what I think is going on (at a high level): republican (and even democrat) people in my country (i.e. the United States of America) have been pressured by their peers and by their encompassing economic and legal circumstances to ignore anything which is not immediately and obviously relevant to their survival and comfort and those they consider to be their own close family and friends while staying, more or less, "handicapped" by engrossment in busywork jobs which could easily be outsourced to robots and to marriage and child-rearing which they have, more or less, been "raped" into succumbing to because they know at some level that they will be as marginalized as the homeless people and war victims I called attention to in this note. To be that marginalized is to be treated literally as burdens to be gotten rid of or at least quarantined out of sight from those who pander to the republican-centric status quo. This is to say nothing of how vehemently it is normalized and even institutionalized to trivialize and even deny climate change and environmental toxicity which is the result of human activity (especially the beef industry and the fossil fuels industry). People around me often seem to be very impatient to censor and punish people who dare call attention to such matters by literally throwing tantrums and resorting to violence, vandalism, and overt harassment in front of me. I understand that "might makes right" is the prevailing universal ethic and why the Green Party is treated as non-existent while most people in my midst act as though there are only two political parties in this country: Democrats or else Republicans. It seems that most people have not yet attained a level of awareness and knowledge which I call holistic systems thinking because they acy like money and material abundance are synonymous (which is unscientific) and they seem unable or unwilling to explore frames of reference other than the ideological framework and herd mentality they have been most heavily conditioned with. 

I was thinking earlier today about how I fancy myself to be a miniature Elon Musk due to the fact that, rather than try to suppress self-critical thoughts with socially-condoned rhetoric such as "it's okay to not be okay", I dig deeper than what I think is currently socially appropriate and tell myself that it is really not okay to normalize not being a high achiever who is willing to test the limits of what is physically possible to at least attempt to manifest my utopian vision and to utilize my human (and super human) potential. I think too many people act like cripples because of social pressure to do so. That is the main reason why I don't have in-person friends anymore nor want them. I want to maximize my autonomy, self-control, intelligence, and self-honesty and I honestly think having friends gets in the way of that. 

I heard someone telling me recently that they don't want me to kill myself. I'm not suicidal and never truly have been but I imagine I might become suicidal if I don't think I have a high enough chance of attaining what I think is at least a minimal level of satisfaction in continuing to live. I also think that whoever (flippantly) told me that they are "afraid" that I'll kill myself unless I am physically restrained really just does not want me to become famous in any way (and committing suicide is one way to make the news). I also think that the person(s) who flippantly claim to want to prevent me from committing suicide would prefer that I be forced to confess that I am suicidal so that there is sufficient justification in locking me up in a mental hospital so that such people don't have to worry about me having a chance to influence the world beyond the confines of that ward or even beyond the confines of my own nervous system (though I imagine such people would whole-heartedly justify people like me getting lobotomized and thought policed by neural implants and cognitive impairment drugs and stimuli to the extent that we cannot even enjoy our own original thoughts anymore).

The "end game" I imagine "the republicans" want for human civilization is to force as many women as possible to give birth to as many children as possible. That way, too many women (and poor folks in general) are too beset by poverty, child care demands, and social and legal restrictions to attain the standard of living I aspire to achieve (or at least maintain) as a single, college-educated (and STEM educated), able-bodied adult who fancies itself to be a miniature Elon Musk instead of a human trafficking victim (and a human trafficking victim is reduced to merely a piece of livestock).

Some people seem to object to me being a miniature Elon Musk on the grounds that doing so makes me have to leach from other people and force those people to have to be mere livestock while I go off to "change the world" and enjoy affluence and prestige they do not. I disagree that my success necessarily takes away from their success because I think that, if more people aspired to be successful in the way I aspire to be (as a STEM-oriented and deeply philosophical problem solver and engineer and not just as a consumer or property holder or livestock output device), more people would behave in a conscientious and globally-minded manner instead of just acting like wounded, scared animals too keyed up on adrenaline and malnutrition and intellectual impoverishment to think outside such a pathetic and frankly parasitic role. Such people, in my opinion, should abstain from having kids so that they do not drag more human beings down with them into squalor. That's where the republicans and I seem to sharply differ: they want to ban abortion and legalize rape while I want to make abortion legal. 

What I think those rape culture mongers and anti abortionists want is to do essentially and ultimately is create disproportionately many impoverished people who are, more or less, trapped in poverty (if not incarcerated) and told to do little more than distract themselves from realizing that they feel suicidal due to being held hostage in a "Hunger Games" style situation while a small elitist few who might own corporate monopolies and buy politicians secretly build themselves luxury bunkers designed to only sustain themselves and their offspring. While such people shield themselves from war and ecological destruction in the safety and comfort of their bunkers, everyone else is exterminated as unwanted vermin. Once all those rats are dead, the Earth can be restored so that the privileged few humans remaining can enjoy ample material resources and sprawling wilderness just for themselves to luxuriate in. No more bums clogging up their streets and hiking trails!