First Performed at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, on Saturday, September 11th, 1824.
Time in Performance, One Hour and a Half.
Well, well, what does it signify? You have to receive twelve ducats more than you expected; so let that content you.
Yes, but I'm puzzled—I'm bothered, you see; and I like— that is, I don't like—Look ye, my dear friend, Michloff, you want to persuade me that nineteen and twelve make twenty, and—
Ha, ha, ha! Look ye, my dear friend, Stanmitz, I am purse-bearer. I receive your month's pay—I lay out—and, at the month's end, I give you what remains; and so long as I don't attempt to persuade you that nineteen and twelve make fifty, you have no great reason to complain.
But look ye: I earn twenty ducats a month; you have laid out nineteen for me—and instead of one, which, according to my calculations, remains, you insist—
Well, I can't help saying it is very odd. Before you came to work here at the dockyard at Saardam, I had a hard tug to make both ends meet. It was as much as I could afford to get drunk three times a week, and not do the thing as it ought to be done either. Now, that you are paymaster, I can get drunk regularly every night; aye, and in a way to do any man credit, yet have always money to spare. Peter Michloff, your mode of managing all this puzzles me: and if you were not a devilish good fellow—
You'd take me to be the devil himself. Well, before I quit this place, perhaps I may let you into my secret.
And do you think of leaving us?
I have now been absent from my native country a twelve-month. I have acquired some knowledge of shipbuilding, the object for which I came here, and it is time I should return home.
Our master, Mynheer Von Block, will be sorry to lose you, because you are the most industrious fellow in the yard: and I shall be sorry, because—hang it, Peter Michloff, I like you!
And, hang it, Peter Stanmitz, I don't dislike you.
Peter, you are my friend, and I think I may venture to let you into a secret.
That you are in love with Bertha, the pretty niece of Mynheer Von Dunder, the old blockhead of a burgomaster.
Not exactly that, but I'm told that old Von Dunder has lately been very busy in his enquiries about me, and that makes me uneasy.
Why, surely you have done nothing to be ashamed of?
No, not ashamed, but I'm cursedly afraid. But I'll tell you, I was born at Moscow.
Well, there is no crime in being born at Moscow; besides, that was no fault of yours.
That's not it. Listen! It happened one day that a party of soldiers halted near my mother's hut; the commanding officer presently cast an eye at me, and was so amazingly taken with my appearance, that he requested I'd make one of them. I was about to decline, but assuring me that the Czar Peter, our name-sake you know, having particular occasion for my services, would take it as an offence if I refused the invitation, he forthwith clapped a musket on my shoulder, and marched me off.
Aye, you were enlisted.
Enlisted! Why I can't say but I was. Now, I was always an independent sort of fellow, fond of my own way, and couldn't stomach being ordered about against my inclination.
I put up with it a long while though; till one bitter cold morning in December, just at three o'clock, I was roused from my comfortable warm sleep to turn out, and mount guard on the bleak blustering corner of a rampart, in the snow. It was too bad— wasn't it?
Well?
Well, as I couldn't keep myself warm, I laid down my musket and began to walk: then I began to run, and hang me if I ceased running till I found myself five leagues away from the outposts.
So, then, you are a deserter!
A deserter! You call that being a deserter, do you? Well, putting this and that together, I shouldn't wonder if I am.
You know, my dear fellow, that if you are discovered, you will be shot.
I've some such idea. Indeed, it occurred to me at the time, so thinking it hardly worth while to be shot for being so short a distance, as only five leagues away from my post, I made the best of my way to Saardam, and here I am.
This is an awkward affair, indeed, and if Mynheer Van Dunder, the Burgomaster, were informed of it—however, be assured your secret is safe in my keeping.
I don't doubt you, for I suspect you're in a similar scrape yourself.
I?
There's something very mysterious about you, at any rate. No one knows who you are, or whence you come. And then, that strange man you have so many dealings with.
Well, Michloff, I don't desire to know more of your affairs than you choose to tell me, and
so—Ah, ha! What, my little Bertha!
Don't talk to me. Let me recover breath. I should have been here ten minutes ago, had I not been obliged to run so fast.
To run so fast? That's an odd mode of accounting for your delay.
I've been obliged to go a mile about, to get rid of that French gentleman.
What French gentleman? What French gentleman do you know?
Lord, Peter, don't be so impetuous. One who has been prying about the dockyard these few days past.
What could he have to say to you?
What no woman would be very angry at hearing, if I may judge from the little he did say.
So then, he has spoken to you, and all he said you believed, no doubt.
I'll leave it to you to determine. He said I was the prettiest woman in Saardam.
And the most incorrigible coquette.
He was too polite, Mr. Peter; besides, that is by no means my character.
(R.)There, there, isn't one Peter at a time enough to set your cap at?
(L.)Good day to you, my little Bertha. Why surely you are not at words?
(C.)No! but your namesake here is so terribly jealous, that even should my uncle consent to the marriage I fear I never shall be able to make any thing of him.
Don't be uneasy, my little Peter. I dare say those gentlemen will be able to settle a treaty of peace without making my surrender one of the articles. But I had almost forgotten the very matter I came about.
What is it?
Mischief, I am afraid, as it always is, when my uncle, Van Dunder, puts on what he calls his official wig, and looks more than commonly grave and stupid. He is coming here.
For what purpose?
That is yet secret; but it is in consequence of an order he has just received from Amsterdam, and about which, as usual, in matters of importance, he seems to be amazingly puzzled.
But who is that strange looking man that appears to be watching us?
Oh, a friend of your's, is he?
Hush!
I don't like that man. He has always some secrets with Peter Michloff. If he's an honest fellow, why cannot he speak out before all the world?
He may have business with him, which it may not be necessary that all the world should know?
I fear there is something wrong between them. I have it—he's an usurer, he lends him money at a high rate, and in the end he will ruin him. He is continually bringing him papers to sign.
I should be very sorry for that, but I must away, or my uncle may notice my absence.
I'll accompany you.
I'm not afraid of returning alone.
It is not your returning alone
Never fear him. You'll allow a friend
Oh! a friend—certainly.
Thank ye, Sir.
Ha, ha, ha! Whatever may be your credit, Count, with the Government of Holland, as Ambassador from the Czar, Peter of Muscovy, your reputation here, as the friend of Peter Michloff, is not of the best.
Yet has your Majesty found me the faithful friend of Michloff, as I have ever been the honest counsellor of the Czar.
Honest! aye, and a bold one, too.
Else, were I not your friend, Sire, you have long been absent from your dominions, your subjects complain, 'tis now time that you return.
Have then my hours been idly spent? During these months of absence in this humble disguise,
I have surely done more to promote the happiness of my people, and thence my own true glory,
than the whole life of the Czar could have accomplished, if wasted in the careless ease of his
Palace. Unknown, to all but you, I have travelled from land to land, and studied the useful
arts for which each
Sire, 'tis only your presence can prevent an immediate revolt. The enemies of Russia are artfully fomenting the discontent of your people. Should they, discover the place of your retreat, they will doubtless endeavour to detain you here, for by your return their treacherous aim will be defeated.
Say no more. Our next despatches from Moscow will determine me. In the meantime let
everything be prepared for my sudden departure, should such be necessary. Leave me—leave me,
Michloff, I fear it is all over with me.
What has happened?
Here comes old Van Dunder, in close conversation with our master, Von Block; I heard them say something about Peter, and—
Psha! If that be all, I have as much cause for alarm as you. But come, to our work.
Why, then, don't you read the despatches?
Read 'em! why because—Oh, the ignoramus!—master of the dockyard indeed. You ought to be ashamed at asking such a question. What's this?
The town seal of Amsterdam.
Oh, you have sense enough to see that, have you? It is a Government despatch you
perceive.
And what then?
What then? As it was sent to me by express, don't you think it was the intention of Government that I should know what it is all about?
To be sure—read it, then.
“Read it, then!” That's very easily said. Look ye, Van Block—you may be a very good shipbuilder, but you know nothing of State affairs. Would it be fitting the dignity of the Burgomaster of Saardam, that he himself should read such a paper, with such a seal, and coming from such a person as the Burgomaster of Amsterdam? Would you have me treat it as if it was a paltry tailor's bill? Here—do you read it!
No, thank ye! I never meddle in State matters.
You can't read—you can't read! Now, don't attempt to deceive me—I know what not being able to read is. Oh, the illiterate booby! But what is there wonderful in that? I'd bet a ducat, there is not a man in your service knows how to read.
Will you?—done!
I'd rather not, thank ye, Sir!
I was sure of it Come—the ducat!
Not so fast!—here's Michloff—a clever, intelligent fellow— try him. Michloff!
Do you think you could read this?
Come, let me hear what you call reading—though I don't expect you to read like a schoolmaster.
Nor like a Burgomaster.
Read—read!
The ducat!
That proves nothing—any booby might read that. Go on!
You don't say so!
Let my what?
Your measures.
There, you hear—I must take his measures!
Is that all?—and are you sure you have made no mistake?
Certain.
Go along, and let me think.
Now pay me the ducat.
Is this a time to think of ducats? Here's a business which —an affair that—secresy—secresy, of course—not a soul shall know a word of the matter! This is certainly a most delicate, a most perplexing—I hardly know where to begin! “Detain him— and watch him—and discover him!” There is so much of it to do! I have it! I'll have him locked up in the guard-room, and then watching him will be the easiest thing in the world.
Wouldn't it be as well to begin by catching him?
To be sure it would—but how? The idiot! Double or quits for the ducat, you can't tell me how!
I'll order out all the men, and you may seek among them.
The pretensions of that fellow! Ha, ha, ha!—why, any blockhead might have thought of that.
Then, I wonder you didn't.
Go, and order all your men to appear before
me.
Oh lord! it's all over with me!
Are they all here?
All—all!
Now to be cautious! Stand forward, all of you! I'm to discover a man of the name
of—
Peter!
Peter! Let me think—let me think! Ha! I have it! A bold stroke!
My name is Peter.
There is a scheme for you! I've got him already.
Psha! as honest a fellow as any in my employ. Besides, Stanmitz's name is Peter.
Come, come—there is another Peter among you. I'm not to be deceived. Let the other Peter
stand forth!
Is not the Peter you are to discover a foreigner?
Now, I dare say you think yourself a very clever fellow; and you'll go about, saying you
discovered he's a foreigner. Why is he not described so here? I wish you would not meddle with
State matters.
I—I am; but don't be hard with me, Mr. Burgomaster, and I promise—
Aha, my lad!—leave me alone to be prompt and vigilant.
I am a foreigner.
Oh! What do you mean by a foreigner? Where were you born?
At Moscow.
At Moscow.
At Moscow! No, no—they cannot both be born at Moscow. And your names?
Peter Stanmitz.
Peter Michloff.
Now, which of these can it be?
What is it puzzles you?
Puzzles me, indeed! It would puzzle a conjuror. There is no scarcity of Peters, you see. But the Burgomaster of Amsterdam is a blockhead. If he wants me to discover any Peter in particular, he ought to have described his person—given me his surname—told me the street and the number of the house where he lives. I'd have discovered him soon enough then, I warrant you.
Well, may they return to their work?
Aye, that will allow me time to think. And hark'ye, you pair of Peters—do you two keep a
sharp eye on each other; and if either of you escape, I'll hang you
both!
Well, what are you thinking about?
Stanmitz—Stanmitz? I've a great notion that's my man— that's my man!
He? Psha!—he's as honest a fellow as the other.
That's nothing to the point. I suspect his making love to my niece, Bertha—a thing I don't
approve of. I'm to discover a suspicious character, and I'll—no—yes, I will—he shall be the
man. I've plenty of Peters in hand; and if he should be the wrong one, it will be easy to give
another. But who comes here?
'Tis a German gentleman lately arrived here. I suspect he is attached to the embassy.
The embassy!
I believe you are the Burgomaster of Saardam?
I am—himself in person.
My business with you is of the deepest importance. Be prudent—be secret—assist me to discover a certain person, and your fortune is made.
Fortune? If a discovery is your business, I flatter myself you've come to the right shop for that. But pray, Sir, who may you happen to be?
That you shall know hereafter. Promise to be secret and faithful, and two thousand ducats shall reward the success of your search. You promise?
Promise!—two thousand ducats!—promise! Why not let me take my oath of it at once?
Listen! I am in search of a foreigner who is supposed to be at this place in disguise—a Russian.
A Russian!
Indeed!
Born at Moscow—name, Peter!
Hush! I perceive you are aware of the object of my visit here. I rejoice at having met with a man of so much shrewdness and penetration. You know him, then?
Know him? I know everybody—I know everything! I—
Burgomaster, the management of this business requires extreme delicacy and address, and I am persuaded I may entrust it to you.
Only tell me exactly what's to be done, and as for delicacy, and address, and penetration, and so forth, bless you, they are here at my fingers' ends.
Does he know that you are acquainted with his real character?
No, not exactly.
That's well. Seek an opportunity of conversing with Peter, yet beware of intimating to him that he is discovered. Lead him adroitly to speak of the affairs of Russia; and, with seeming indifference, enquire his opinion, concerning the present views of the Emperor of Germany.
Russia, and the Emperor of Germany! Ah! I understand.
For certain reasons, I cannot avow myself to him till I have sounded his sentiments. It is in this that your assistance will be serviceable to me. But be prompt, lest the French Ambassador, who is at Saardam, should anticipate us.
The French Ambassador! What, he has a finger in the pie too! What can it all be about?
Be prudent, and the two thousand ducats I have promised you, will be the smallest of your rewards.
Two thousand! Will one Peter be enough for you? My dear Sir, if you want a dozen, I—
Oh, of course. If I can make head or tail of the matter, the devil take me. Who can that
man be? Great man, that's clear. Russia and the Emperor of Moscow—Germany, I should say. Two
thousand ducats for telling Peter that— Well thought of—which Peter does he mean? Oh, here's
the old bother over again! You —Mister!—he's out of sight. Let me think. I have it—there are
but two: I'll try the first that comes, and if I'm wrong with him, I'm sure of being right
with the other. Here comes Peter Stanmitz. I'm pretty sure he's the man. But what can he have
to do with the Emperor of Germany? Now, either he's a great man in disguise, or a confounded—
Ahem! ahem!
Stanmitz, my good fellow, how do you do?
Informed! I fancy I am, indeed. Come, come, you had better not conceal anything from me. I'm in the secret.
You have received information from my Colonel—eh?
Your Colonel, certainly.
The Russian Ambassador, you mean.
The French Ambassador, I tell you. But don't be uneasy. I've had a talk with your Colonel, and he's your friend.
The Colonel my—
Hush! He doesn't want to be known at present, so he has left it to me to pump.
Pump on me! An odd mode of punishing a deserter. Well, it is better than the halberts.
To pump you, and to do it with seeming indifference. Ahem! Peter, what's your opinion of the Emperor of Germany?
He's a devilish good fellow for anything I know to the contrary. But what is that to the point?
Everything.
Will you? Then you are not my enemy?
I, your enemy! Lord bless you!
Why didn't you speak out at once, and spare me all this alarm. So you think the matter may be made up?
Certainly, certainly.
Ha, ha, ha! It was a desperate bold trick of mine—was't it?
Oh, desperate! Ha, ha, ha! But if you would only just give me an idea; because it must be managed with address, and caution, and promptitude, and so forth, you know.
Hadn't you better explain to me?
No doubt, no doubt; but hang me if I understand a syllable of the business.
Will he? My dear friend, do you see him instantly, make any conditions you please on my behalf, and—
May I indeed!
Now, really the Burgomaster is a better fellow than I ever thought him. Well, since he has undertaken to get me out of this scrape, I can't do better than leave the affair in his hands. But what do I see!—'Tis Bertha, followed by—I shouldn't wonder if it were the same young Frenchman who was talking to her this morning.
This time, my pretty damsel, you shall not escape me.
Leave me, I desire, Sir, I don't know what you can see in me, to follow me about as you do.
Come, come, I see how it is, you have a husband, or a lover, and you are fearful he will interrupt us.
Ah, ah! you are the happy man.
Yes, I am the happy man! Peter Stanmitz. And whoever you may he, let me tell you, that—
Peter, Peter! do you want to get into a quarrel?
Don't you perceive the gentleman was only in jest?
Ah, you silly fellow! Had you rather it should be in earnest, then?
I beg pardon, but perhaps you could inform me—
Come, come, lad, didn't you hear the dinner-bell? I have been seeking you—why, what's to do here?
I'll tell you all about it, Mr. Peter.
You are a Frenchman, Sir?
What, you would find an excuse for him, would you?
That countenance, that deportment! I cannot be deceived here. Once more let me assure you,
you have nothing to fear from me.
So much the better, I wish you a pleasant journey.
You are attached to some Embassy, perhaps, Sir.
The French. The negotiations being broken off, Congress is about to separate.
Indeed! But what is the cause of this?
The Russian army is completely defeated, and the Czar is on the very brink of ruin.
Slave, 'tis false!
You are the Czar!
You, you are mistaken.
Your impetuosity has betrayed you, Sire. Will your Majesty deign to honour me with an audience? I ask it in the name of the King, my master.
Who are you?
The Count of Marville, Ambassador from the Court of France.
Your request is granted. To prevent suspicion, I must accompany my friend to the tavern hard by. Meet me there. Come unattended, and simply attired.
I shall follow your Majesty's example, and dispense with all diplomatic etiquette on the occasion.
You have discovered me. What pledge do you offer that you do not betray me?
A soldier's honor!
Well hang me, if ever I knew a fellow like Michloff. He has secrets with everybody. Come. As
to you, Sir,
Said it already! Whatever you may have said already, remember that I haven't yet
said “yes” before a parson, and if such is to be your behaviour, there's a pretty good chance
that you'll never hear me, Mr. Peter.
Enough! Be these articles the basis of a treaty between the King of France and myself. And
now, Varensloff, go secretly, hire a vessel, and let everything be prepared for my departure
to-night.
So, here you are at last, Michloff. What a man you are for politics! I should like to know
his opinion of the Emperor of Germany. When he can get any one to talk with him on such
matters, he neglects even his dinner. But here's a man for long stories, if you would but
listen to him.
What should I learn from him?
Lord! he knows everything. He has just been telling me a long history about the Czar Peter of Muscovy.
Indeed! And what of him?
Enough to prove him, in my mind, a blockhead. He's travelling through Europe in disguise, learning different trades, and picking up knowledge of all sorts.
How does that prove him a blockhead?
Not exactly that. But suppose, that while he's away from his own country, some rascal or other, and there's no lack of such in Russia, that I can tell you, should take advantage of his absence, to supplant him, what a queer figure he'd cut when he got home again, to find some other gentleman squatted on his throne, and brandishing about his sceptre.
The Czar himself, perhaps, may not be altogether free from such apprehensions.
Well, that's his business—I never meddle with politics; and though the Emperor of Germany seems desirous of my good opinion, yet, but no matter,—I'll give you the health of the Czar Peter.
Have you any objection, Michloff?
I—no man wishes him better.
And now, I'll give you the pretty Bertha's good health.
Don't trouble yourself, she's very well without it.
Thank ye kindly, Sir—yours!
(R.)What do you want here?
(R.C.)Bless me! How gentle and civil some people are. You hardly deserve that I should have taken this trouble, but I come to tell you that—
Tell me another time. Go home.
(L.C.)Aye, and I'll be your convoy.
Stay where you are.
Go home, and stay where you are! Upon my word! Any one might think we were already married.
You are a pretty girl, and it will be your own fault, if you remain long without a husband.
Thank ye, Sir, and I don't intend.
Thank ye, Mr. Michloff.
Hark'ye Peter!
There is nothing to fear, your uncle is my friend, and the Colonel is my friend, though hang me if I can explain to you why.
Can't you?—that's unlucky, for the Burgomaster appears so thoroughly puzzled himself, that
his explanations are unintelligible to me. But here he comes. He must not see me talking to
you, so I'll away.
I'll give you my arm.
Kidnapping sailors and workmen for the service of Russia.
Upwards of fifty have deserted within these two days.
A trifle—a mere trifle!
You call that a trifle, do you?
No, it is not a trifle, 'tis a very serious affair; but why tell me of it now, when you see
I'm thinking. Where can the Colonel be with his two thousand ducats, he was to meet me
here—and—he is not here.
But what are you looking for? what is it perplexes you?
Everything perplexes me! you perplex me! Don't you see I'm thinking; and when I'm thinking, I can think of only one thing at a time, and—
Well, I have done my duty, in making my report to you as Burgomaster, 'tis now for you to act as you please.
I'll think about that too, I'll think about it.
Mynheer Stanmitz! Mynheer to a journeyman ship-carpenter! ha! ha! ha!—
A journeyman carpenter! that's it. So you are sure he's a journeyman carpenter?
What do you mean?
But what do you know?
Aye, that's it! when I say I know—I mean—now don't you go about, saying that I told you, he's a Prince in disguise.
A Prince!
I said no such thing—presently you'll say I told you he's a State Criminal, who stands a
good chance of being very speedily hanged—but this I know—he's either one or the other—at
least he's
Pugh! the blundering old blockhead.
(C.R.)Here he is!—your Grace—your Honour—I beg two thousand ducats—two thousand pardons, I mean.
Hush! have you sounded him?
Sounded him! I fancy I have indeed!—he's ready to agree to any conditions you may propose; and as to the Emperor of Russia —of Germany, I mean—but there he stands—let him speak for himself.
Are you certain 'tis he?
Certain! am I certain! ahem!—Stanmitz!—Peter Stanmitz.
How well he preserves his incognito. I am at your orders.
At his orders! what means this?
Means!
Now, speak freely, and never mind me.
If you hadn't, I should have taken to my heels as soon as I knew he was here.
Taken to his heels! 'Tis clear enough what he is.
I'm aware of your intention to remain unknown, therefore—
Yes, I've tried all I could, but since you have found me out, I have nothing to conceal from you; and I trust to your—to your—
You may trust to me: deign to accept of the friendship I proffer, and, on behalf of my royal master, I promise never to desert you.
Royal master!
Desert me! I suppose you mean that I should promise never to desert you? I—I'd rather not make any such promise, because— in short—there's no answering for oneself in these cases.
But when your Majesty is apprised of the condition—
Now don't joke, if you please; this is a serious business, and till I am well through it—
Aye, aye; no humbugging.
I understand—the incognito.
My dear fellow, do take care of your incognito.
The long and the short of the matter is, that you will get me out of this scrape. I have been a long while living at Saardam; I want to get back into my own country, and, while this affair is hanging over my head, I'm afraid of my own shadow. I'll do anything for a little peace of mind.
Hush! There is the basis of a treaty
The Emperor of Germany!
Your co-operation with my royal master would certainly be to your mutual interests.
He wants you to co-operate with the Emperor of Germany.
I don't say the contrary: but the step I have taken ought to be a pretty broad hint to you, that I am not over-fond of the service —and, hang me, if I enlist in any.
Aye—you prefer remaining neuter.
Neuter!
No, no, stick to the neuter, and you'll do, Peter.
Well, I'll remain neuter, if you please.
You will find that case here provided for. Read these articles, and then—
you read?
No. I've no curiosity.
Never mind—not just now. Give me the paper, and I'll consult a friend about it.
Accept the conditions, and I answer for your safety, and that of the Russian Empire.
If you will but answer for mine, take my word for it the Russian Empire can take care of itself.
Oh, national confident!
And now let me warn you. The ambassadors of the other powers have sent orders to arrest you here in Holland.
Here's a fuss about one deserter.
Arrest him! Why then, after all, he is a—
But I undertake to provide for your personal safety.
Then, ecod! you are a devilish good fellow, and I'll pay the reckoning.
Burgomaster, my success in this negociation is almost certain. His Majesty is well-disposed to an alliance.
His Majesty! Why then, after all, he is not a—
But keep an eye on him. Let no one tamper with him, and he cannot escape us.
Escape! Why then, after all, he is a— Oh—I'll clap him into jail at once.
Jail! Are you out of your senses?
Lord—no, no! I only mean—
Treat him with the most profound respect.
Respect! Why to be sure. Most profound. Who can he be? This affair is beginning to grow
suspicious, and if it be not soon explained, it will drive me crazy.
In confidence then, I'm on a little love affair.
Ha! ha! ha! I wish you success.
Sire!
What news?
The worst—an insurrection, instigated by your sister, has broken out at Moscow.
How say you?
All is prepared.
What's the matter—what's the matter? One would think the town was on fire.
'Tis all in confusion.
What do you say? Treason and plot! Let me be cool— let me think. What's to be done? Let me go home and think.
It is forbidden for any one to quit this house.
We'll see that.
Aye, we'll see that! What, lock up the Chief Magistrate of Saardam, let me see who'll dare?
Here comes the officer in command.
An officer! That's a different thing. Why didn't you say at once he was a commanding
officer?
(C.)The Burgomaster of Saardam.
(L. C.)Here is the Burgomaster of Saardam, and I desire to know how you dare—
Here are my orders, Sir—read.
Read! Oh, if he has orders you know—
Aye, to be sure. I like the notion of a man in a yellow jacket, hectoring a Burgomaster, when perhaps his orders are not in form.
Examine them, Sir, the signature—the seal.
Oh, the signature, and the seal. Why, that alters the case.
Government has discovered that great numbers of sailors and workmen have been inveigled
from the different dockyards in Holland, and induced to enter into the Russian service.
I told you what was going on.
Why all the Burgomasters of Holland must be asleep to permit—
'Tis chiefly at Saardam that these enormities have been committed.
You don't say so—and I not to know! Now, let me think what is to be done?
With a view to discover the agents, I am ordered to arrest all foreigners not properly authorised to reside in this place.
That's exactly my idea.
Come this way, I expect I know the agents.
Indeed!
I have observed five or six suspicious—very suspicious looking fellows about. Now, leave it
to me. You shall see how a Burgomaster can ferret out a rogue for you. Ahem!
(R.C.)The Count de Marville, Ambassador from the Court of France.
(R.)Admiral Count Varensloff, Ambassador from his Majesty the Czar of Muscovy.
Your Excellency—your—Oho! I have him now. It wasn't to you I spoke. Why don't you answer, you dog?—you, with your rigmarole about two thousand ducats! Here's the man—he offered to bribe me—kidnap sailors! He'd have kidnapped a Burgomaster too, if he could. Who are you, you dirty dog! Your name, you rascal—your name!
(L.C.)Baron Von Clump, Ambassador from the Emperor of Germany.
I shall go out of my wits!
Why, Burgomaster, you appear to be rather puzzled.
Puzzled?—don't talk to me of puzzled! 'Twould puzzle a conjuror! They set me angling for rogues, and I catch nothing but Ambassadors. Aha! I never liked the looks of this fellow—arrest that Stanmitz!
My poor Peter!
Hallo! do you pretend to teach me my business? Arrest him, I say!
Are you out of your senses? 'Tis the Czar!
He! In that case—Peter Michloff, then—he's the man!
Hold! What would you do? 'Tis the Czar!
Oh! this won't do—this won't do! At first they were all Ambassadors—now they are all
Czars.
If you would but read your instructions—
Read! What's the use of talking to me about reading? Do you think a Burgomaster has nothing else to do but read?
'Tis known the Czar Peter is here in disguise—'tis him you must discover and detain.
Would you compromise the safety of his Majesty, my Lord?
So, then, Stanmitz turns out to be the Czar of Muscovy! Who'd have thought it? I'll give the Captain a sample of my penetration and acuteness.—Ahem! Captain—you want the Czar, don't you? There's your man!
But are you sure of it this time?
I'll answer for it with my head.
Enough! We must not let him suspect that he is under any restraint. A guard of honor,
merely—you understand, Burgomaster. He is now in your custody—your head will pay the forfeit
of your negligence.
There's an honour for a Burgomaster!—the Czar of Muscovy in my keeping—now what's to be done?—let me think!—let me think!—go away all of you. You distract my ideas—I must think—go away. My head to be the—
(R.)And you.
(L.)My Majesty! Why Bertha!—my dear Bertha!
(R.C.)Your Majesty need not be alarmed at these appearances of restraint. Affect
indifference to them. Your enemies cannot deceive me. Their motives for placing this seeming
guard of honour near your royal person are evident; but, fortunately, the means of your
immediate escape are in my power. In a few minutes the arrangements will be
completed.
Pray, gentlemen, don't trouble yourselves. I am not used to so much ceremony—I would prefer walking about alone.
(R.)Hark'ye, Master Burgomaster, I begin to suspect you are playing me false. This looks amazingly like the drum-head and shooting.
(L.)Shooting, your Majesty?
You are in the secret, and I shall be glad if you'll explain to me, why I am treated with all this—respect?
I am in the secret—but as to explaining—talking of explaining —suppose now, your Majesty were just to explain the matter to me. I'm in the secret—so you know there would be no danger in your telling me what the secret is all about.
But what do you mean by your Majesty?
Mean—what I mean? Pray, your Majesty, don't ask me what I mean; because it sometimes
happens—but here comes the man for explanations.
Sire! may I entreat a word in private?
Why, lord help you—to be sure you may.
There, leave us! I'm never to come to the rights of this affair! Is it anything I can assist
you in! Oh! I'm gone! I wouldn't stay, contrary to your will. No, not for the two thousand
ducats you promised me. Oh, I'm gone.
There is not now a moment to be lost. Your Majesty's stay here is fraught with danger.
Well. I know that well enough. Then why don't you get me out of the scrape as you promised.
You know it! You have received intelligence that the troubles existing at Moscow are secretly excited by your sister.
My sister?—the hussey!
The plan too, to detain you here, is well-concerted. An embargo, is laid on all the vessels in the harbour—
Then there is an end of my escape.
There is still hope. My own Yacht is privileged. I have prepared that for your
reception, and here is an order from the authorities for its free passage.
Then you are an honest fellow after all!
Is your Majesty provided with funds sufficient for your immediate purposes?
Bless you! I have twelve ducats remaining from my last month's pay.
Twelve ducats! ha, ha, ha! How well he preserves his character! Foreseeing this
circumstance, I have placed thirty thousand ducats in your Majesty's cabin. I must leave you
once again. When all is ready for sailing, I will return and inform you, and mine will be the
glory of having saved Peter, Czar of
Muscovy.
“Peter, Czar of Muscovy!” Oh, then, I'm Peter, Czar of Muscovy! Well, it never was clearly
made out who was my father; so it's just as likely as not. At any rate, since I'd as lief be
Czar of Muscovy as shot for a deserter, I'll let them have their way.
But the courier you have despatched!
Hush! Varensloff knows nothing of it. He bears a mandate to the Governor of Moscow, which
will awe rebellion.
'Twill be difficult; for 'tis general on all vessels, with the exception of the yacht of the Baron Von Clump.
Ah, Michloff! you are just in time. I have a hint for you —take care of yourself.
Wherefore?
It seems that the Burgomaster and the German have settled it between them, that one of us is the Czar, and the other a deserter. Now, as they have determined that I shall be the Czar, it follows that you are in rather a ticklish situation. To make matters worse, for you, this embargo will prevent your escape.
And when at every moment my anxiety increases—
You!
And where's the wonder! Is it anything extraordinary that a sovereign—such as I am, should be able to assist a poor devil— such as you are! Besides, I am not the man to desert—that is—a friend in distress. I have a Yacht at my command, with permission to sail when I please, so, if you choose, I'll take you in my train.
Psha! This jesting is ill-timed.
Jesting, do you call it? Read this paper.
We are saved! And did the Baron himself provide you with this?
Baron, or Colonel, or whatever he may be, he's a devilish good fellow, let me tell you. Not only has he given me his Yacht, but he has placed 30,000 ducats in my Majesty's cabin.
Ha! ha! ha!—Poor Von Clump!
Away!—We have not a moment to loose. Stanmitz, you shall accompany me.
I have just one word to say, if you please. As I am doing the honours in this case, it would be quite s civil if yon would wait till I am ready. I offer you a place, because you are a good sort of fellow, whom I should be glad to help out of a scrape, but I have a little matter to settle before we go, and—
Aye, your little Bertha. Fetch her instantly—and follow me—I'll provide for you both.
He provide! But, Michloff, let me tell you—
Follow me!
Follow me! Well, since you choose to give yourself these airs—
(R. C.)Treason and plot! I've discovered it all at last.
Psha! Is it extraordinary that the Czar should have despatched a courier?
This blockhead is surely born to frustrate me!
Don't speak, or you'll confuse me again.
Now look'ee how I'll settle this matter, and confound the traitors.
You hear! His Majesty dispatch a courier? Ha, ha, ha! They'll endeavour to persuade me, next, that I wrote the despatches. But can none of you guess the traitor who employed the man—who gave him three hundred roubles for the expense of his journey?
You're a set of clever fellows! but when a discovery's to be made, it's always left to me. There's the traitor!—Peter Michloff— there!
Impossible!
Impossible, is it? Perhaps I haven't seized the despatches?
I never presumed to read anything in my life—but if I am not made a Baron for this discovery—
Stand aside.
Again, stand aside!—am I never to find out what is it I discover?
One great, one terrible example of vengeance is necessary to stop the progress of a revolt, which she has instigated, and which threatens the destruction of my empire. I concealed my intention from you, for I well know the weakness of your nature. You are now acquainted with my will—do your duty, and let my mandate he obeyed.
The duty of a loyal subject, of a faithful counsellor, is to spare his master the commission
of an act which would for ever tarnish his glory.
Ha!
I have done my duty.
What was I about to do?—I—the reformer of an Empire, who cannot restrain the fury of my own passions. Varensloff, pardon your pupil—your friend.
'Tis the Czar!
Yes, my friends,
I am not.
Is this the way you come? Pay your homage where 'tis due. Bow to the Czar, all of you, and make no mistake this time, you might have seen who he was with half an eye.
And is my poor Peter nobody after all? Oh, my dear, dear Peter! then I am happy again.
But I will yet make somebody of my old companion. Stanmitz shall be director of my dockyards on the banks of the Neva; and within these two years, there shall the world behold the capital of Russia!
Sire! when your capital is built, if your Majesty should be in want of a Burgomaster—
I shall choose discreetly. But come—away! Farewell, my friends!