The Wash Stand : TEI edition Lou Burnard

An unpublished curiosity from the Burnard Archives

Transcribed from a typescript in the author's possessione

 Scanned, OCRd, and tagged cue A Persil is the softest wash, soothing red knickers to sargasso depths Omo kept us clean, covering filth in forgetful suds, feeding a little life with dried foam. Rinso surprised us, pouring from the machine we stopped in the j.c.r. and drank coffee, and talked for an hour (cue B) I wash, much of the night, and go mad in the winter. (cue C) What are the suds that pour, what waters flow out of this soapy rubbish? Son of man You cannot say, or guess, for you know only A heap of empty packets, where the neon glows and broken furniture gives no shelter, the iron no warmth and the dryer no sound of water. Only there is Daz under this red cardboard. Come in under the shadow of this red cardboard (cue D) Madame Sosistris, washday expert had a bad cold nevertheless is known to be the wisest woman in Europe with a wizard pack of pegs. Here said she is the answer to your query Mrs Blake do not use with a flame-resistant finish Here is Fairy Snow, here Proctor and Gamble and this peg your free gift. I do not find imperfect whiteness. Fear death by water. (Lights) I see crowds of housewifes, washing in a ring Thank you. If you see dear Mrs Equitine Tell her I bring persilicates myself; One must be so careful these days (cue E) (linking movement, washing, circle, regroup) O O O O that Shakespeherian rag It's so filthy so scrubby what shall we do now, what shall we do? I shall wash out in the streets, as I am, with my hair down. What shall we do tomorrow? Washing, again washing. Do you know washing? Do you see washing? Do you remember Washing? I remember. "Do not use with a flame-resistant finish" (cue F) The hot water at ten And if it rains, an indoor washing line And we shall scrub the collars, pressing cuffless shirts, and waiting for the FairySnowMan at the door (mime: A, representing the FairySnowMan, knocks, enters to C; the famous dumb - or bumb - show screw. meanwhile, cue G Twit Twit Twit Jug-jug Jug Jug So rudely forced Tereu (cue H) To staircase 13 than I came rinsing rinsing RINSING rinsing (he is laid to rest) O Bendix, thou spinnest me out O Bendix, thou spinnest rinsing (cue I) Proctor the Phoenician, a fortnight dead Forgot the tails of shirts, and the deep spin swell And the fourpence off. As he drained away He passed the fourth and fifth rinse Entering the whirlpool Warmwash or hot O you who turn the knob and watch the wash-line Consider Proctor who once gambled as well as you. (transitional movement as before; cue J) If there were Persil And no daz If there were Daz And also Persil And persil A packet, washing whiter If there were the smell of Persil only Not dry furniture singing and the smell of burning nylons But the scent of Persil over the machine frothing to the floor Drip Drop Drip Drop Drop drop drop But there is no Persil (cue K) THEN SPOKE THE BENDIX (cue L) DAZ (cue M) Dazzle. What have we washed? Our smalls, whiter than white shrunken to the moment's surrender in our empty rooms (cue N) DAZ (cue O) Dazzling: I have seen the dryer tumbling, red hat and silent in fetid air. aethereal rumours revive for a moment a broken dramsoc. (cue P) DAZ (cue Q) Dazzled: The iron responded Gaily, to the hand expert with shirt and trouser. The board was still, smoothing obedient to controlling hands. (cue R) I sat upon the steps naked with socks whirling before me. Shall I at least set my drawers in order? Strawberry fields forever, forever, forever Je marche le longue de ces couloirs interminables (tearfully) O Rinso, rinso. These fragments I have shored against my ruins Why then Ile fit you. Birtwhistle's mad againe. Dazzle. Dazzling. Dazzled. softrinse softrinse softrinse cue S