# Up With Which I Shall Not Put

Being a Community Manager is often about setting boundaries, both for yourself and for the members of the community.

## Being Self-Aware

Guiding a community is stressful work. You have to hold yourself to the highest of standards while everyone else gets to be human. Knowing when you're not at your best will help you [prevent embarassing situations](https://youtu.be/0VYvdsrV6Lw?t=60). Fortunately, you don't have to be at your 100% best *all the time*. But when a tough conversation comes up, you should ask yourself if you are:

* Tired
* Hungry
* Upset
* Preoccupied
* Worried
* Anxious

If you're any of these things, you should probably respond later when you can have a clearer frame of mind. It takes practice, but you can work a little mental check-in into your routine.

## But I **Have** To Say **Something**

There are times when you have just had it up to **here** with these people :rage: You feel like you're going to explode if you don't get what you're thinking and feeling off your chest. You're human. It happens to all of us. Here's what I do when I am in this frame of mind: I write the reply and then delete it. Many times I delete far more than I post.

Psychologists have shown repeatedly that imagining doing things has a lot of the same impact mentally as actually doing them. So by writing out your reply and venting all your frustration you can release it and move on, whether or not the other person will ever know. If you're worried that you'll accidentally post it you can type it in a text editor so that isn't a risk.