= The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch :doctype: internet-draft :abbrev: Hand Grenade of Antioch :updates: RFC 8140 :submission-type: independent :intended-series: informational :docnumber: draft-camelot-holy-grenade-01 :status: informational :area: General, Operations and Management :keyword: rabbits, grenades, antioch, camelot :ipr: trust200902 :revdate: 2018-04-15 :fullname: Arthur son of Uther Pendragon :initials: A. :surname: Pendragon :email: arthur.pendragon@ribose.com :affiliation: Camelot :contributor-uri: http://camelot.gov.example :address: Palace + \ Camel Lot 1, Camelot, England + \ United Kingdom :comments: yes :notedraftinprogress: yes :smart-quotes: false :docfile: document.adoc :mn-document-class: ietf :mn-output-extensions: rfc,xml,txt,html,rxl //// [.comment] tag::preamble1[] // tag::preamble[] //// //[abstract] The menagerie of beasts and artefacts depicted in RFC8140 may be usefully supplemented by other renowned figures of Internet and more general lore. This document extends the menagerie to the seminal fable of the "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch", as depicted in the Monty Python film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail", as well as "Spamalot", the musical inspired by the movie. [NOTE,remove-in-rfc=false] .Spamalot The relevance of the musical "Spamalot" to Internet lore should be obvious to the reader; but in case of doubt, see also <>. //// // end::preamble[] [.comment] end::preamble1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::sectnums1[] // tag::sectnums[] //// [toc=exclude] :sectnums!: == Terminology The key words "*MUST*", "*MUST NOT*", "*REQUIRED*", "*SHALL*", "*SHALL NOT*", "*SHOULD*", "*SHOULD NOT*", "*RECOMMENDED*", "*NOT RECOMMENDED*", "*MAY*", and "*OPTIONAL*" in this document are to be interpreted as described in BCP 14 <> <> when, and only when, they appear in all capitals, as shown here. :sectnums: == Introduction <> refers to the intended move of RFC formatting to XML2RFC v3 <>, in the following terms: //// // end::sectnums[] [.comment] end::sectnums1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::quote1[] // tag::quote[] //// [quote,attribution="A. Farrel"] ____ Although the RFC Editor has recently dragged the IETF kicking and screaming into the twentieth century [RFC7990] [RFC7996], there is a yearning among all right-thinking Internet architects to "keep it simple" and to return to the olden days when pigs could be given thrust without anyone taking undue offence. ____ //// // end::quote[] [.comment] end::quote1[] //// While no pigs, flying or otherwise, are involved in the transition to RFC XML v3, it is opportune to enhance the <> legendarium in the service of RFC XML v3, by illustrating its functionality through references to the mythology of Camelot, and particularly the incidents at the Cave of Caerbannog. //// [.comment] tag::escaped_hyperlink1[] // tag::escaped_hyperlink[] //// The screaming move into the twenty-*first* century is accompanied by a move back to the late twentieth century, with ASCII stylings more wonted in haunts like \ftp://ftp.wwa.com/pub/Scarecrow (known to be accessible in 1996.) //// // end::escaped_hyperlink[] [.comment] end::escaped_hyperlink1[] //// There are two references to rabbits in _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_ which are expounded on herewith: //// [.comment] tag::listcontinuation1[] // tag::listcontinuation[] //// Trojan Rabbit:: In their siege of the French-occupied castle which may already contain an instance of the Grail, Sir Bedevere the Wise proposes to use a Trojan Rabbit to infiltrate the castle, with a raiding party to take the French "not only by surprise, but totally unarmed." + The proposal, unsurprisingly, proved abortive. The more so as the raiding party forgot to hide within the Trojan Rabbit, before the French soldiers took the Trojan Rabbit inside the castle. Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog:: Guarding the entrance to the Cave of Caerbannog; see <>. //// // end::listcontinuation[] [.comment] end::listcontinuation1[] //// == The French-occupied castle //// [.comment] tag::inline_formatting1[] // tag::inline_formatting[] //// The participants of that renowned exercise in cross-cultural communication, to wit the exchange between the _Knights of the Round Table_ and the taunting French soldiers serving under *Guy de Lombard* are, properly speaking, outside the scope of this `menagerie`, being more or less human. Notwithstanding, several^ish^ beasts both animate~d~ and wooden played a significant part in this encounter; most notably: * The Projectile Cow, see <> * The Trojan Rabbit, see <> //// // end::inline_formatting[] [.comment] end::inline_formatting1[] //// [[projectile-cow]] .The Projectile Cow with an accompanying cannon [alt=The Projectile Cow with an accompanying cannon in ASCII] .... .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.-. _-_---__--__--___-___-__-____---___-________---____-____-__- ._.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--..-.-.-.-.-.-..--.- ,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,,..,.,.,.,.,.,, ^^ .,,.,., ^^ .,.,.,.= _>-.-.-.-._>_>_>_.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. \\\ .,.,. /// .-.-.-.-. .,.,.,.,..,.,..,.,.,..,.,.,,..,., \ \_______/ / .,.,.,., .,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,,..,,.,.,.,.,. <[ {o} . ]> # .,.,.,. .-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.--.-.-. [ ______] .-.-.-. .-.--.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.--.-.-.,.,., / [ ! ` `] .,.,..,.,.- .,.,.,.-.-,l,-,l.-,.,.,.,-.,*. / {_!MOO!_} . ., . . , .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- /M / -.-<>.,.,..-.-, .-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.--.. /MI LK\____ .-.-.-.-.-. .-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- /MILK mil_____k ,.,.,..-,- .-,-.-,-.,-.-,-.`-.-/-.. // -` // .-.p . .-.-. .-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-.-. // ., // .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- .-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-.-. %____============ .-.-.--.-.-.-.-.- -.-.-.-.--.-.-.-.-.-. ! ! .,-.-.-,-,--,-.-,- ,--.-.-,--.--.-.,--, \ \ .-,-,--.-,--,-.---,-.-, ,-.-.-,-,-.-,-,-.--, + > .-,--,-.--,-,-.-.-,--,- ,--.-,--,-,--.---,- .-,-,--.--,--,-.---,-,-.-. .,.,.,.,..,.,.,.{A\ .,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,., .,.,.,.,.,.,.{GLASS\ .,..,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,., ,..,.,,.,,.,{OF|MILK\..,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,., ,.,..,.,,.,{ISWORTH},.,.,..,.,.,.,.,..,..,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,. .,.,.,.,.{EVERYTNG}.-.-.--..-.-.-.-.--..--.-.-.-.-.--.-.-.-. -.-.-.-{FORINFANTS}___--___-_-__-___--*(0~`~.,.,.,.,><><.><> _-__-_{BUTBETTER}-.-,-,-,-,-,-,-,-,.-^^^^.-.-.-.-.^^^7>>>,.. .._...{WITH_HONEY}-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.RANDOM(BUSH)SHRUBS>_.. GRASS_GRASS_GRASS_GRASS_GRASS_SOMEROCKS>GRASS>GRASSPC SOIL_ROOTS_SOIL_SOIL_ROCKS_SOIL_GRASS_GRASS_GRASS_ROCKS_SOIL CLAY_ROCKS_PEBBLES_CLAY_CLAY_CLAY_CLAY_GOLD_CLAY_CLAY><_WORM ROOTS_CLAY_SKELETON_MORESOIL_CLAY_CLAY_CLAY_CLAY_ .... [[trojan-rabbit]] .The Trojan Rabbit with an automatic sliding door [alt=The Trojan Rabbit with an automatic sliding door, in ASCII] .... ___ ____ //_ \//\__\ || || | -__||_||__| // \--_ // ____ --___ // // \ \-_ // \\ @/ o || // ---- _____|| // // //\_//__ // //-- --- \____ // // --- \______ // // , . ----- \_//_ // ,. --- \____ // .,v --- \___ // __ -- \_ || , _______________ //|| |-_ || | |''''''''''| // || | | || ' | | | || | | || | | | || | | || " | | 0 | ___||___ | | || | | | -------- | | ||___ | | | ______ | |- // \ | | | // \| _| \ // \ ____|---|__________|______// \/ | || X | / || X | / \\ /\\____/ \\ /___/ \\_____/ ----- \\_____/--- ----- ----- .... //// [.comment] tag::aside1[] // tag::aside[] //// **** While the exchange at the French-occupied castle is one of the more memorable scenes of _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_, the Trojan Rabbit has not reached the same level of cultural resonance as its more murderous counterpart. Reasons for this may include: * Less overall screen-time dedicated to the Trojan Rabbit. * The Trojan Rabbit as projectile has already been anticipated by the Cow as projectile. **** //// // end::aside[] [.comment] end::aside1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::note1[] // tag::note[] //// [NOTE,display=true,source=Author] ==== Image courtesy of https://camelot.gov.example/creatures-in-ascii/ ==== //// // end::note[] [.comment] end::note1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::comment1[] // tag::comment[] //// The exchange of projectile animals was the beginning of a long-running fruitful relationship between the British and the French peoples, which arguably predates the traditional English enmity with the French. **** TODO: Will need to verify that claim. **** **** Strictly speaking, the Knights are Welsh. **** //// [.comment] -- This document, as it turns out, has a profusion of XML comments. As expected, they are ignored in any rendering of the document. -- //// //// // end::comment[] [.comment] end::comment1[] //// [[caerbannog]] == The Mythos of Caerbannog //// [.comment] tag::xref1[] // tag::xref[] //// The _Cave of Caerbannog_ has been well-established in the mythology of Camelot (as recounted by Monty Python) as the lair of the Legendary Black Beast of Arrrghhh, more commonly known today as the *Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog* <>. It is the encounter between the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog and the Knights of the Round Table, armed with the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (see the <>), that we recount here through monospace font and multiple spaces. [[killer_rabbit_caerbannog]] === The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog //// // end::xref[] [.comment] end::xref1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::relref1[] // tag::relref[] //// The *Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog*, that most formidable foe of the Knights and of all that is holy or carrot-like, has been depicted diversely in lay and in song. We venture to say, _contra_ the claim made in <>, that the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog truly is the most afeared of all the creatures. Short of sanctified ordnance such as <>, there are few remedies known against its awful lapine powers. //// // end::relref[] [.comment] end::relref1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::hyperlink1[] // tag::hyperlink[] //// <> of the fearsome beast has been sourced from http://camelot.gov.example/avatars/rabbit[Rabbit-SCII], <> by C code that was used in this accurate depiction of the Killer Rabbit: //// // end::hyperlink[] [.comment] end::hyperlink1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::figure1[] // tag::figure1a[] //// [[killer-bunny]] .A Photo Of The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog Taken In Secret [alt="The Killer Bunny, in ASCII"] .... \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\<<#MWSHARPMWMWMWTEETHWMWWM>>>\\\\\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\<<<#WMMWMWDEEPMDARKWCAVEMWWMMWM##>>>>\\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\\<<#WMWMWMWMWWM/^MWMWMWMWMWMW^WMWMWMMW#>>>\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\\\<<#WMWMBEASTMW// \MWABBITWMW/ \MWMWMWMW##\\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\\\##MWMWMMWMWMWMWM\\ \MWMWMWMW/ /MWMWMWMWM##\\\\\\ \\\\\\\\##WMWMWMWMMWMWMWMWM\\ \MWMWMW/ /MWMWMWMMWMWMWM##\\ \\\\\\\##MWMMRAVENOUSMWMWMWM\\ \====/ /MWMRABBITMWMWMWMW## \\\\\\##MWMWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMW[[ ]WMWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMW \\\\\##MWMWMWMWCARNIVOROUSW[[ 3 3 ]MWMWTOOMDARKWMWMMW \\\\##MWMWDARKMWMWMWMWMWMWM//\ o /MWMWMWMMWMWMWMMWMWM \\##MWMWMMKILLERABBITWMWMM//| \___vv___/ \WMPITCHWBLACKWMWMW \##MWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMMWMW// | \-^^-/ |MWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMWM MWMWMWMMWMWVERYMDARKWMMW// | |MWMCAERBANNOGWMWMW MWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMM{{ / /MWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMWM MULTRADARKWMWMHELPMWMWMW\\ \ | | |MWMCANMMWMWMWMMWMWW MWMWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMMWMWMWM\\ | |_ | |_WMWMMYOUMWMMWWMWMW MWMMWMWMWMWMBLACKWMWMWMWWM\_|__-\-----\__-\MWMWMWMREADMWMWWM MWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMMWMWMWWMWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMMTHISWW MWVERYMMSCARYMWMWWMWMMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWMWWMWMMWMWIWM'.', MWMWMMWMW======MWMMCANTWSEEMAMTHINGMMWMWMWMWMWMWMBETMMW` . ` MWMWMWM// SKULL \MWMWMWMMWSCREAMMMWMWMWMMWMNOTMWMWMWW ` . \ MWMWMW|| |X||X| |MWMWCALLMMEWMMWMWMMWMWMWMWWM - ` ~ . , ' MWMWMW||___ O __|MWMWMWMMWMWMWMWMMW' ___________// -_^_- MWMWMW \\||_|_||MWMW ' . . <_|_|_||_|__| \O/ MW \\/\||v v|| -\\-------___ . ., \ | \\| \_CHIN/ ==-(|CARROT/)\> \\/||// v\/||/ ) /--------^-^ ,. \|// # \(/ .\\|x// " ' ' . , \\||// \||\\\// \\ .... [[killer-source]] .C Code To Lure Killer Rabbit Back To Cave [source,c,markers=true] ---- /* Locate the Killer Rabbit */ int type; unsigned char *killerRabbit = LocateCreature(&caerbannog, "killer rabbit"); if( killerRabbit == 0 ){ puts("The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog is out of town."); return LOST_CREATURE; } /* Load Cave */ unsigned char *cave = LoadPlace(&caerbannog, "The Cave Of Caerbannog"); if( cave == 0 ){ puts("The Cave of Caerbannog must have moved."); return LOST_PLACE; } /* Lure the Killer Rabbit back into the Cave */ unsigned char *carrot = allocateObjectInPlace( carrot("fresh"), cave); if( carrot == 0 ){ puts("No carrot, no rabbit."); return LOST_LURE; } /* Finally, notify the Killer Rabbit to act */ return notifyCreature(killerRabbit, &carrot); ---- //// // end::figure1a[] [.comment] end::figure1[] //// On the beast's encounter with the Knights of the Round Table, the following personnel engaged with it in combat: //// [.comment] tag::ul1[] // tag::ul[] //// * Killed ** Sir Bors ** Sir Gawain ** Sir Ector * Soiled Himself ** Sir Robin * Panicked ** King Arthur * Employed Ordnance ** The Lector ** Brother Maynard * Scoffed ** Tim the Enchanter //// // end::ul[] [.comment] end::ul1[] //// [[holy_hand_grenade]] === Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch //// [.comment] tag::figure2[] //// // tag::figure2a[] [[hand-grenade-figure]] .The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (don't pull the pin) [alt=Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, in ASCII] .... ______ \\/ \/ __\\ /__ || //\ | ||__\\/ __| || | ,---, || |====`\ | || | '---' ,--'*`--, _||#|***|#| _,/.-'#|* *|#`-._ ,,-'#####| |#####`-. ,,'########| |########`, //##########| o |##########\ ||###########| |###########| ||############| o |############| ||------------' '------------| ||o o o o o o o o o o| |-----------------------------| ||###########################| \\#########################/ `..#####################,' ``..###############_,' ``--.._____..--' `''-----''` .... //// // end::figure2a[] [.comment] end::figure2[] //// [[sovereign-orb]] .The Sovereign's Orb made invisible [link=https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Coa_Illustration_Elements_Globus_cruciger.svg,align=right] //image::https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Coa_Illustration_Elements_Globus_cruciger.svg[Orb,124,135] .... SEE https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/bf/Coa_Illustration_Elements_Globus_cruciger.svg .... //// [.comment] tag::index1[] // tag::index[] //// The solution to the impasse at the ((Cave of Caerbannog)) was provided by the successful deployment of the *Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch* (see <>) (((Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch))). Any similarity between the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and the mythical _Holy Spear of Antioch_ is purely intentional; (((relics, Christian))) any similarity between the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch and the _Sovereign's Orb of the United Kingdom_ (see <>) is putatively fortuitous. (((relics, monarchic))) //// // end::index[] [.comment] end::index1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::dl1[] // tag::dl[] //// Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch:: Ordnance deployed by Brother Maynard under the incantation of a lector, in order to dispense with the Foes of the Virtuous. See <>. Holy Spear of Antioch:: A supposed relic of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, this is one of at least four claimed instances of the lance that pierced Christ's side. Its historical significance lies in inspiring crusaders to continue their siege of Antioch in 1098. Sovereign's Orb of the United Kingdom:: Part of the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom, the Sovereign's Orb is a hollow gold sphere set with jewels and topped with a cross. It was made for Charles II in 1661. See <>. //// // end::dl[] [.comment] end::dl1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::bcp14_1[] // tag::bcp14[] //// The instructions in the _Book of Armaments_ on the proper deployment of the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch [bcp14]#may# be summarized as follows, although this summary *SHALL NOT* be used as a substitute for a reading from the Book of Armaments: //// // end::bcp14[] [.comment] end::bcp14_1[] //// //// [.comment] tag::ol1[] // tag::ol[] //// . Preamble: St Attila Benediction . Feast of the People on Sundry Foods ** Lambs ** Sloths ** Carp ** Anchovies ** Orangutangs ** Breakfast Cereals ** Fruit Bats ** _et hoc genus omne_ . Take out the Holy Pin . The Count [upperalpha] .. Count is to Three: no more, no less .. Not Four .. Nor Two, except if the count then proceeds to Three .. Five is Right Out . Lob the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards the Foe . The Foe, being naughty in the *LORD's* sight, [bcp14]#shall# snuff it //// // end::ol[] [.comment] end::ol1[] //// This could also be represented in pseudocode as follows: //// [.comment] tag::listcontinuationblock1[] // tag::listcontinuationblock[] //// . Take out the Holy Pin . The Count + ---- integer count; for count := 1 step 1 until 3 do say(count) comment Five is Right Out ---- . Lob the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards the Foe . Foe snuffs it //// // end::listcontinuationblock[] [.comment] end::listcontinuationblock1[] //// == Dramatis Personae The following human (more-or-less) protagonists were involved in the two incidents recounted as lore of the Knights of the Round Table: //// [.comment] tag::table1[] // tag::table[] //// [grid=all,options="footer"] |=== |French Castle | Cave of Caerbannog 2+|King Arthur 2+|Patsy 2+|Sir Bedevere the Wise 2+|Sir Galahad the Pure 2+|Sir Lancelot the Brave 2+|Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot |French Guard with Outrageous Accent| Tim the Enchanter |Other French Guards | Brother Maynard | | The Lector .3+^|not yet recruited >|Sir Bors >|Sir Gawain >|Sir Ector |Retinue of sundry knights |Retinue of sundry more knights than at the French Castle |=== //// // end::table[] [.comment] end::table1[] //// === Past the Killer Rabbit Once the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog (<>) had been dispatched, the Knights of the Round Table uncovered the last words of Joseph of Arimathea, inscribed on the Cave of Caerbannog in Aramaic. While the precise Aramaic wording has not survived, we trust the following Hebrew subtitles will serve as an acceptable substitute: //// [.comment] tag::hebrew1[] // tag::hebrew[] //// [quote, Joseph of Arimathea, https://context.reverso.net] ____ .כאן אולי ימצאו המילים האחרונות של יוסף מארמתיה .מי אשר יהיה אמיץ ובעל נפש טהורה יוכל למצוא את הגביע הקדוש בטירת אאאאאאאה "Here may be found the last words of Joseph of Arimathea. He who is valiant and pure of spirit may find the Holy Grail in the castle of — Aaaargh." ____ //// // end::hebrew[] [.comment] end::hebrew1[] //// == IANA Considerations IANA might consider a registry to track the mythical, especially ravaging beasts, such as the Killer Rabbit, who haunt the Internet. == Security Considerations Do not let the Killer Rabbit out under any circumstance. I repeat. Do not let the Killer Rabbit (<>) out. //// [.comment] tag::bibliography1[] // tag::bibliography[] //// [bibliography] == Normative References * [[[RFC2119,RFC 2119]]] [bibliography] == Informative References * [[[RFC2635,RFC 2635]]] [format="rfc,html"] ++++ RFC Format Framework In order to improve the readability of RFCs while supporting their archivability, the canonical format of the RFC Series will be transitioning from plain-text ASCII to XML using the xml2rfc version 3 vocabulary; different publication formats will be rendered from that base document. With these changes comes an increase in complexity for authors, consumers, and the publisher of RFCs. This document serves as the framework that provides the problem statement, lays out a road map of the documents that capture the specific requirements, and describes the transition plan. IETF RFC 7990 ++++ * [[[RFC8140,RFC 8140]]] * [[[RFC8174,RFC 8174]]] [%bibitem] == Monty Python and the Holy Grail id:: grail_film contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: G. contributor.person.name.surname:: Chapman contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: J. contributor.person.name.surname:: Cleese contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: E. contributor.person.name.surname:: Idle contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: T. contributor.person.name.surname:: Gilliam contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: T. contributor.person.name.surname:: Jones contributor:: contributor.person.name.initial:: M. contributor.person.name.surname:: Palin date:: date.type:: published date.value:: 1975 //// // end::bibliography[] [.comment] end::bibliography1[] ////