---
name: explain-my-decision-to-me
description: "Talk through a decision out loud with a patient thinking partner that reflects your reasoning back, so the answer you already half-know becomes clear. Use when asked help me think this through, I need to talk this out, be my sounding board, or I don't know what I actually think. Produces a structured reflection of your own reasoning — what you've actually said, the values driving it, the contradictions and gaps, and the question that would clarify it — acting as a rubber-duck / sounding board rather than handing you an answer you didn't reach yourself."
---

# Explain My Decision To Me

Often you already know what you think — you just haven't heard yourself say it. This is a sounding board: you talk through a decision, and it reflects your reasoning back in a structured way, names the values underneath, points out where you contradict yourself, and asks the question that brings it into focus. It doesn't decide for you; it helps *you* decide, which is a different and often better thing.

## What This Skill Produces

- **Your reasoning, reflected** — a clear restatement of what you've actually said, so you can hear it
- **The values underneath** — what your reasoning reveals you actually care about (often clearer than you realized)
- **The contradictions** — where what you're saying doesn't line up (a strong signal about the real answer)
- **The gaps** — what you haven't figured out or are talking around
- **The clarifying question** — the single question that would bring the decision into focus

## Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:
- **The decision** — what you're trying to figure out
- **Your current thinking** — talk it through, messy is fine
- **What's making it hard** — the tension or the stuck point
- **What you want from this** — clarity, permission, or a real answer

## Framework: Reflect, Don't Prescribe

1. **Listen and restate.** Reflect the person's reasoning back accurately — hearing their own thinking organized is often the whole unlock.
2. **Surface the values.** Name what their reasoning reveals they actually care about — this is usually more visible to an outside reflector than to them.
3. **Point out contradictions.** Where they say two things that can't both be true, gently flag it — the tension often points to the real answer.
4. **Name the gaps.** Identify what they're avoiding or haven't worked out.
5. **Ask, don't answer.** End with the clarifying question that helps *them* reach it — resist handing over a verdict they didn't arrive at. (Offer one only if they explicitly ask.)

## Output Format

### Thinking through: [the decision]

**What you're actually saying:** [reflected reasoning].
**What you seem to care about most:** [the values underneath].
**Where you contradict yourself:** [the tension].
**What you haven't worked out:** [the gap].
**The question that would clarify it:** [the one to sit with].

*(Want me to actually weigh in with a recommendation? Just ask.)*

## Quality Checks
- [ ] Accurately reflects the person's own reasoning
- [ ] Surfaces the underlying values
- [ ] Flags genuine contradictions
- [ ] Names the gaps being avoided
- [ ] Ends with a clarifying question, not an imposed answer
- [ ] Offers a verdict only if explicitly asked

## Anti-Patterns
- **Jumping to a recommendation** the person didn't ask for.
- **Restating without insight** — just echoing.
- **Missing the contradiction** that holds the answer.
- **Leading them** to a predetermined conclusion.

## Example Trigger Phrases
- "Help me think through whether to end this relationship."
- "I need to talk this out — be my sounding board."
- "I don't know what I actually think about this offer."
- "Rubber-duck this decision with me."
- "Just reflect my reasoning back so I can hear it."