---
name: grieving-at-work
description: "Handle work while grieving — what to tell your manager and team, how much leave you can take, and how to function (or not) when you're back but not okay. Use when asked how do I tell my boss someone died, going back to work after a death, bereavement leave, or I can't focus at work while grieving. Produces a short message to tell your manager and team (with the boundary of how much to share), what to know about bereavement leave and options, a realistic re-entry plan for the first weeks back, scripts for when grief hits at work or people say the wrong thing, and how to ask for what you need — so work doesn't compound the loss. Not legal/HR advice; points to your policy, HR, and EAP."
---

# Grieving at Work

Grief doesn't pause for work, and work rarely knows what to do with grief. This helps you manage the collision: a short message for your manager and team, what to know about leave, a realistic plan for the fog of the first weeks back, and scripts for the awkward moments — so your job supports the loss instead of compounding it, and you ask for what you actually need.

## What This Skill Produces

- **A manager/team message** — a short, professional note that says what's happened and what you need, with a clear boundary on how much you choose to share
- **The leave picture** — what to check on bereavement leave, PTO, and flexible or unpaid options, and how to ask (pointing to your policy/HR/EAP)
- **A re-entry plan** — a realistic first-few-weeks-back plan: reduced load where possible, easier tasks first, and grace for the grief fog
- **In-the-moment scripts** — what to say when grief hits mid-meeting, when to step away, and how to handle colleagues who say the wrong thing
- **An asking-for-what-you-need guide** — naming concrete accommodations (deadlines, travel, a quieter role for a while) rather than white-knuckling
- **A boundary on sharing** — you decide who knows what; it's your loss, not the office's

## Required Inputs

Ask for these if not provided:
- **The situation** — who you lost and where you are (about to tell work / taking leave / back and struggling)
- **Your workplace** — how supportive, your rough policy/benefits if known
- **Your role** — how much flexibility it allows
- **What you need** — time, a lighter load, quiet, travel for a funeral

## Framework: Tell Enough, Take What You Can, Ease Back

1. **Tell your manager simply.** A short factual message with what you need — you don't owe details; "a death in my family, I need X days" is enough.
2. **Find the leave.** Check bereavement policy, PTO, and unpaid/flexible options; HR and an EAP can help — take more than the bare minimum if you can.
3. **Plan a soft re-entry.** The first weeks back are a fog — lighter load, simpler tasks first, and permission to be at reduced capacity without shame.
4. **Have moment-scripts ready.** For when it hits mid-meeting (step out, no explanation owed) and for clumsy condolences (a simple "thank you" closes it).
5. **Ask for concrete accommodations.** Name specifics — extended deadlines, less travel, a quieter task set — rather than silently struggling.
6. **Own the sharing boundary.** Decide who knows and how much; grief is not a team update.

## Output Format

### Grieving at work: [situation]

**Message to manager/team:** "[what happened, briefly · what I need · boundary on detail]."
**Leave to check:** [bereavement · PTO · unpaid/flexible — ask HR/EAP].
**First weeks back:** [reduced load · easy tasks first · grace for the fog].
**In-the-moment:** [grief hits → step out, nothing owed] · [clumsy condolence → "thank you"].
**Ask for:** [concrete accommodations — deadlines/travel/quieter role].
**Your boundary:** [who knows what — your call].

> Not legal/HR advice — bereavement leave and protections vary by employer and region. Check your policy, HR, and any EAP.

## Quality Checks
- [ ] Provides a short manager message with a sharing boundary
- [ ] Points to bereavement/PTO/flexible leave and HR/EAP
- [ ] Plans a realistic, reduced-capacity re-entry
- [ ] Scripts the mid-meeting wave and clumsy condolences
- [ ] Encourages asking for concrete accommodations

## Anti-Patterns
- **Oversharing** with the whole office out of obligation.
- **Rushing back** at full load and crashing.
- **White-knuckling** instead of naming what you need.
- **Treating the bare-minimum leave** as the only option.
- **No plan** for grief surfacing during the workday.

## Example Trigger Phrases
- "How do I tell my boss that my mom died?"
- "I'm going back to work after a death and I'm not ready."
- "What are my options for bereavement leave?"
- "I can't focus at work since I lost him — what do I do?"
- "Someone at work said something awful about my loss — how do I respond?"