Pass The Udder Udder (BS 1651) Al Brownlee

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I've been across this nation many times now
East to west, north to south as well
I've been taking all the ribbin'
Lettin' people do their fibbing
Now here's one thing that I've just got to tell
Way down south in old Jack county down in Texas
Was born thirteen children on a farm
They made doctors, farmers, preachers
Superintendents and school teachers
And me, I'm the one who like to yarn

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Pass the udder udder over to my udder brudder
Pass the udder udder dis a way
So we pass the udder udder and I'd pass it to my brudder
Boys we had our hands full every day

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They say things grow big up in Alaska
But there's nothing in that state can quite compare
To a cow that we once had us
And the name of her was Gladys
Boy you should have seen the neighbors stand and stare
She stood ten foot tall and had one purple eyeball
It took eight of us to milk her, here is why
She had 27 spigots and the tourists all bought tickets
Just to watch us milk and hear us loudly cry

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We created quite a spectacle I'll grant you

And while people said how funny
We raked in enough durn money
To go out and order Avin BVD's
Father turned her on her back one Sunday morning
Gladys said "I'm upside down, now what's the gag?"
"Well the reason why", said Pop
"Is so the cream will be on top"
"Gosh", the cow said, "in that case, it's in the bag"

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Gladys, she was quite a star in cattle circles

You would think she'd been to college
Although she, herself, acknowledged
That she gained her fame entirely by pull
Glady said to us one cold, December morning
She said "milking is the thing I dearly love,
But when I get a cold it lingers
And I can't stand icy fingers
So go back into the house and get your gloves"

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