---
title: Polyamory
#description: 
#feed_description: 
author: Issa Rice
creation_date: 2015-07-25
last_major_revision_date: 2015-08-22
language: English
# Possible values are "notes", "draft", "in progress", and
# "mostly finished"
status: notes
# Possible values are "certain", "highly likely", "likely", "possible",
# "unlikely", "highly unlikely", "remote", "impossible", "fiction", and
# "emotional"
belief: possible
# accepts "CC0", "CC-BY", or "CC-BY-SA"
license: CC-BY
tags: polyamory, love, relationships
#aliases: 
---

Just some notes for now.

- [gwern comments on Open Thread, February 1\-14, 2012](http://lesswrong.com/lw/9p9/open_thread_february_114_2012/5v6g)
    - [File on dropboxusercontent\.com](https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/5317066/2012-gwern-polyamory.txt) (this one talks about Aspergers at the end)
- [What does "experienced polyamorous folk tend to have a lot more practice with explicit communication than the mainstream" mean?](https://www.quora.com/Polyamory/What-does-experienced-polyamorous-folk-tend-to-have-a-lot-more-practice-with-explicit-communication-than-the-mainstream-mean)
- [How common is polyamory among Aspies?](https://www.quora.com/How-common-is-polyamory-among-Aspies)
- [A Nice Thing About Polyamory](http://www.theferrett.com/ferrettworks/2015/01/a-nice-thing-about-polyamory/)
- [Relationship anarchy](!w), or, as [Kaj Sotala says](http://lesswrong.com/lw/2ee/unknown_knowns_why_did_you_choose_to_be_monogamous/27gd), the idea of not needing to "draw a sharp line between romantic partners and close friends" by "[finding] such a division slightly artificial in the first place."
- [Polyhacking](http://lesswrong.com/lw/79x/polyhacking/)
- [Rational Romantic Relationships, Part 1: Relationship Styles and Attraction Basics](http://lesswrong.com/lw/63i/rational_romantic_relationships_part_1/)
- [Unknown knowns: Why did you choose to be monogamous?](http://lesswrong.com/lw/2ee/unknown_knowns_why_did_you_choose_to_be_monogamous/)
- From [a comment](http://lesswrong.com/lw/2ee/unknown_knowns_why_did_you_choose_to_be_monogamous/27hz):
    - [Polyamory FAQ \- More Than Two](https://www.morethantwo.com/polyamory.html)
    - [alt\.polyamory Frequently Asked Questions \(FAQ\)](http://www.faqs.org/faqs/polyamory/faq/)
- See also gwern in [The Melancholy of Subculture Society](http://www.gwern.net/The%20Melancholy%20of%20Subculture%20Society#fn18):

    > It’s something of a mystery why
    > [monogamy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/monogamy "Wikipedia: monogamy")
    > has thrived over the last millennium - why *not* allow
    > [polygyny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/polygyny "Wikipedia: polygyny"),
    > [polyandry](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/polyandry "Wikipedia: polyandry"),
    > both
    > ([polygamy](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/polygamy "Wikipedia: polygamy"))
    > or even full blown
    > [polyamory](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/polyamory "Wikipedia: polyamory")?
    > Why restrict freedom in this regard, restrict it so viciously that
    > society is willing to kill over it? One explanation I find appealing
    > suggests that marriage - sex - may be an example of societies
    > encouraging the formation of more-optimal *multiple* hierarchies of
    > status as opposed to a single one. To very broadly generalize, those
    > alternatives seem to boil down to polygyny (polyandry being very rare)
    > and polygyny seems to correlate with societies where there are few ways
    > to status but violence & hunting, while monogamy encourages males to
    > engage in economic competition for mates

    Related is [a comment by Wei Dai](http://lesswrong.com/lw/2ee/unknown_knowns_why_did_you_choose_to_be_monogamous/27d4) and Tertilt's [PDF on berkeley\.edu](http://eml.berkeley.edu/~webfac/bardhan/e271_f05/tertilt.pdf) that is linked.

- Hmm I also want to talk about this in the context of e.g. [decline in traditional romantic relationships](http://www.webcitation.org/query?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fworld%2F2013%2Foct%2F20%2Fyoung-people-japan-stopped-having-sex&date=2014-11-16)