--- title: Telemarketer in a murder investigation date: "2006-12-21T12:00:00Z" categories: - funny wp_id: 155 description: I'm sharing a hilarious recording by Tom Mabe, who pranks an unsuspecting telemarketer by pretending to be a police officer investigating a murder at the victim’s home. It’s a creative, if extreme, way to handle unwanted sales calls. keywords: [tom mabe, telemarketing, prank calls, comedy, audio recording, murder investigation] --- [Tom Mabe](http://www.tommabe.com/) likes playing pranks on telemarketers while recording the call. This is a [recording of a hilarious telemarketing call](http://www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/newsletters/2006/Telemarketer.mp3). > **Tom**: Hello?\ > **Mike**: Yes, can I speak with Tom Mabe?\ > **Tom**: Who's calling?\ > **Mike**: This is Mike (beep). You've been selected to receive a complete digital satellite system for free. With this, you're going to...\ > **Tom**: Um, let me ask you something. Did you know Tom Mabe? Are you a friend of his?\ > **Mike**: No, I'm not. I'm just calling to...\ > **Tom**: Hold that thought... hold on one second, alright? (off phone) Hey guys, get really good pictures of the body. Yeah, dust everything down for prints. (on phone) Are you there?\ > **Mike**: Yeah.\ > **Tom**: Let me bring you up to speed. You have actually called a murder scene and Mr Mabe is no longer with us. I'm Officer Clarke. I'm conducting a homicide investigation. I want to ask you a series of questions. Firstly, what was the nature of business you had with Tom Mabe?\ > **Mike**: I, uh, had no business with him. I'm... I'm sorry to have bothered you...\ > **Tom**: No, no, no hey hold on look, I want to ask you to stay on the phone. This call has already been traced and we may need to you to come here for further questioning. This ...\ > **Mike**: You see, you don't understand. I'm just calling ...\ > **Tom**: No, no, look, you don't understand. Unless you want to be charged with obstruction of justice it's imperative to keep your ass on the phone, Mike.\ > **Mike**: Or, how about you just talk to my supervisor then?\ > **Tom**: No no no no we'll get to your supervisor in a second. Now, give me your whereabouts.\ > **Mike**: I'm at work.\ > **Tom**: You're at work?\ > **Mike**: Yes.\ > **Tom**: You being a smartass?\ > **Mike**: No, sir.\ > **Tom**: Let me put it to you this way, Mike. Say I want to mail your ass a letter. What would I have to write on the outside of that envelope to ensure that the mailman will deliver it right to your ass? Geographically speaking, Mike, where is work?\ > **Mike**: 40 West (beep), Middleton, Colorado.\ > **Tom**: Hold on, that's 40 ...\ > **Mike**: Yes sir.\ > **Tom**: Michael, hold on one sec, alright?\ > **Mike**: Yes sir.\ > **Tom**: (off phone) Get the Middleton homicide department on the phone. Yeah, give them this information. Tell them there been a talk in connection with a fatal shooting and aggravated robbery. (on phone) Mike, how did you know Mr. Mabe again?\ > **Mike**: Wait, you're calling the Middleton police department? I'm hundreds of miles away! I don't even know the guy... I'm in Colorado!\ > **Tom**: No, no, it's not that scary... that's just a formality. Tell me, have you been to any place other than work, then?\ > **Mike**: No!\ > **Tom**: OK, and tell me again what, where were you last night for twenty hours after eight and ten?\ > **Mike**: I'm not feeling really comfortable with any of this.\ > **Tom**: Have you even ever spoken to Mr. Mabe, Mike?\ > **Mike**: No I haven't. I don't even know the guy. That's what I've been trying to tell you!\ > **Tom**: OK, very good, calm down, calm down, look, I've got one more question for you, Mike. As you well know, I'm sure, Mr. Mabe was a flaming homosexual. There's no easy way of asking this, I don't want to embarrass you or nothin', but, were you his gay lover?\ > **Mike**: What!? No... what kind of a question is that?\ > **Tom**: (you just have to hear what he says!) --- ## Comments - **Bob Zuley** _21 Dec 2006 10:21 pm_: What exactly is the ending reference to homosexuality supposed to mean? Is it an insult, or a joke? - **S Anand** _21 Dec 2006 11:37 pm_: Oh, the whole thing is a joke by Tom Mabe anyway. Guess he just wanted to see how far he could go in pulling this telemarketer's leg. - **Dhar** _23 Dec 2006 7:37 am_: Well, I think I will try and pull something similar the next time I receive of those infinite calls for free credit cards / free holidays... :))\ \ Totally enjoyable reading!! D. - **Ric** _19 Jan 2009 6:13 am_: I dont care what anyone says that is funny - **[zwtk : how do you deal with telemarketers? - Perth Street Bikes](http://www.perthstreetbikes.com/forum/f29/zwtk-how-do-you-deal-telemarketers-83976/#post1429030)** _19 May 2009 3:59 am_ _(pingback)_: [...] calls most evenings. I think this is the best way to deal with the ones that do get through: Telemarketer in a murder investigation | s-anand.net \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Adventure before [...] - **Janet** _14 Jun 2012 10:39 pm_: Lol very funny, end if the day he will probably get a call from someone at some point, and know how the public feel about it. Great prank! - **Harry Scrotter** _26 Aug 2011 2:07 pm_: Bullying, and psychological harassment of some poor fellow just trying to make a living by working for a telemarketing company. Probably on minimum wage and just trying to provide for his family. Throw in a little homophobia for good measure and watch the dweeby frat boy scum bust a zit laughing. Why not throw in a little racism for good measure hey: draw in a load more douchbag wallies for your inane, tedious and puerile waste of pixels. - **Rick** _18 Jan 2017 8:44 pm_: I have made me a script to read from when a spammer calls me that is very similar to this post and dam its funny hearing their reactions to my questions. I look forward to getting spammers calls so I can have a little fun with them, It always is the highlight of my day