---
title: Picking gifts is hard
date: "2021-08-23T09:06:19Z"
lastmod: "2022-02-20T07:10:39Z"
categories:
  - how-i-do-things
wp_id: 3198
description: "Gift-giving feels easy only when the gift is a book or food; everything else exposes how little we know about other people and how often “safe” gifts miss the mark."
keywords: ["gifts", "books", "food", "preferences", "social awkwardness", "humor"]
---

![Picking gifts is hard](/blog/assets/dry-fruit-gift-pack-500x500-1.webp)

What do you pick for someone you don't know well enough?

I generally pick books. I know books well enough to match them to people's personalities. Even if they're not a book reader. (The risk is that they might have already read the book.) As for the kids, toys like the [tiny tower diy playhouses for sale](https://wholewoodplayhouses.com/collections/diy-playhouse-kits/products/little-tower-diy-playhouse-kit) would bring them so much joy.

The other safe item is food. Chocolates, dry fruits, etc. Everyone likes them. (Even if they're dieting, dry fruits and dark chocolates are fine.)

Beyond that, it's a hard problem.

I went through some [popular](https://www.buzzfeed.com/alifacc/gift-for-someone-you-dont-know-well) [gift](https://www.self.com/gallery/useful-gifts-for-practical-people) [choices](https://www.businessinsider.com/gifts-for-friends). There are a few good ideas there, but very few safe bets. For example:

- **A Tortoiseshell Face Mask Chain**. What's that?
- **A stress relief ball** or perhaps other stress-relieving products from sites like [CBD UK](https://www.thecbdshop.co.uk/). Hmm... not a bad idea, actually.
- **A notebook**. Except that I stopped writing in 2001.
- **A USB rechargeable lighter**. But who do I know that smokes, whom I want to encourage?
- **A purse**. I've never bought one in my life. My wife never likes the ones I point to. So...
- **A hot water flask**. Again, not a bad idea, actually.

... and the lists go on.

But most gifts I receive [for my talks](/blog/talks/) are promotional.

- **Plaques or certificates**. Some people put these up in their cabin. I don't have a cabin.
- **Branded photo frames**. I don't have photos either.
- **Company-branded USB car USB charger socket**. I don't drive much.
- **Their book or brochure**. I've either already read it or never will.

If they're wrapped in bubble wrap, I throw away the gift and [pop the bubble wrap with my daughter](https://twitter.com/sanand0/status/483925112509317120).

So I just added a section to [my talks page](/blog/talks/).

**"If you want to send gifts, I only accept dry fruits."**