---
title: Calvin and Hobbes Tracer Bullet 2
date: 2026-07-12T16:59:07+05:30
categories:
- funny
description: I finally share the second arc of Calvin and Hobbes' Tracer Bullet strips, discovered after a 19-year gap following the first. The noir parody remains a favorite, especially for its sharp wordplay.
tags: [calvin-and-hobbes, tracer-bullet, comic-strips, wordplay]
---

In 2007, I extracted the first arc of the [Tracer Bullet strips](https://www.s-anand.net/blog/calvin-and-hobbes-tracer-bullet-1/). I didn't realize I never shared the second arc. So, 19 years later, here it is. It remains my all-time favourite series from [Calvin and Hobbes](/calvin/).

![AUGH! Who did this? The Dame's scream hit an octave usually reserved for calling dogs, but it meant I had a case, and the sound of greenbacks slapping across my palm is music to my ears any day. After all, I'm not an opera critic. I'm a private eye.](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910225.gif)

![I keep two magnum's in my desk. One's a gun, and I keep it loaded. The other's a bottle and it keeps ME loaded. I'm Tracer Bullet. I'm a professional snoop. It's a tough job, but then, I'm a tough guy. Some people don't like an audience when they work. Enough of them have told me so with blunt instruments that I'm a phrenologist's dream come true. Snooping pays the bills, though. Especially Bill, my bookie, and Bill, my probation officer. So when a tall brunette opened my door with a case for me, my heart did a few calisthenics and I took the job.](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910226.gif)

![The dame said she had a case. She sounded like a case herself, but I can't choose my clients. She was the pushy type, the kind who'd break your heart, or maybe your arms. I hurried over. Either she had a psychotic decorator, or her place had been ransacked by someone in a big hurry. WELL?! How do you explain this? The dame was hysterical. Dames usually are.](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910227.gif)

![What have you got to say for yourself? Don't touch anything. I'm looking for clues. The click of a hammer being cocked behind my head focused my thoughts like only a loaded .38 can. The dame had set me up! She didn't want me to solve the case at all! She just wanted a patsy to pin the crime on! Well? I didn't like the way this story was shaping up, so I decided to write a new ending with my .45 automatic as co-author.](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910228.gif)

![I introduced the dame to a friend who's very close to my heart. Just a little down and left, to be specific. My friend is an eloquent speaker. He made three profound arguments, while I excused myself from the room. I always leave when the talk gets philosophical. You're in REAL trouble NOW, young man!!](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910301.gif)

![I'd just finished putting the puzzle pieces together when the dame's hired goon jumped out of nowhere and practiced for his chiropractic degree. When the discussion was done, an all-percussion symphony was playing in my head, and the accoustics were incredible. The orchestra went on a ten-city tour of my brain. And I had a season pass with front row seats. I had figured out who trashed the dame's living room, but since she wasn't my client any more, I felt no need to divulge that information. Besides, the culprit happened to be a buddy of mine. I closed the case. I guess we should've played outside, huh?](https://picayune.uclick.com/comics/ch/1991/ch910302.gif)

This is funny at so many levels, but the wordplay is what sticks with me.

"I keep two magnum's in my desk. One's a gun, and I keep it loaded. The other's a bottle and it keeps ME loaded."

"Snooping pays the bills, though. Especially Bill, my bookie, and Bill, my probation officer."