---
title: The meaning of life
date: 2026-01-22T19:29:55+05:30
categories:
  - how-i-do-things
---

As a teenager, I asked my mother "What is the aim of life?" She said, "To be happy and to make others happy." This was my gospel for a decade. It made sense. It even aligned with my name (Anand = happiness).

In my twenties, I was confused that happiness has tradeoffs, like:

- Long term (study hard) vs short term (party hard)
- Self (e.g. save diligently) vs others (gift generously)
- Getting what we like (e.g. favorite food, ambitiousness) vs liking what we get (e.g. any food, gratitude, lower standards)
- Outcome (e.g. wealth) vs process (e.g. enjoying work)

By my thirties, I felt [happiness is the intersection of pleasure and meaning](https://www.google.com/search?q=origin+of+happiness+is+the+intersection+of+pleasure+and+meaning). So I tried to be aware of and balance both.

In my forties, [The Landmark Forum](https://www.landmarkworldwide.com/the-landmark-forum) introduced me to the idea that life has no intrinsic meaning, so you can pick. So I tried to pick meanings, changing them with time.

In my fifties, I'm learning that the meaning of life can be viewed through _many_ lenses, like:

- Physiology: What the body wants
  - **Survive:** The body wants to maintain homeostasis and stay alive.
  - **Enjoy**: The body seeks pleasure and avoids pain (hedonic drive).
  - **Reproduce:** Genes want to propogate the species.
- Psychology: What the mind craves
  - **Connect:** Build social bonds and connections to loved ones.
  - **Grow:** Become the most that one can be. (Self-actualization, mastery, autonomy, purpose)
  - **Contribute:** Create things that outlast us.
- Philosophy: What the spirit seeks
  - **Serve divine will:** Fulfil your divine purpose or duty (Theistic/Karmic).
  - **Live virtuously:** Flourish through virtue, fulfilling your potential. (Virtue Ethics)
  - **Make your own meaning:** Life has no intrinsic meaning. We tend to make up meanings. Accept it, pick a meaning, enjoy. (Nihilism/Absurdism/Existentialism)
  - **Be rational:** Live according to reason and nature; accept what you can't control (Stoicism).
  - **Maximize good:** Maximize well-being for the greatest number (Utilitarianism).
  - **Serve people:** Relieve suffering and help others.
  - **Transcend suffering:** End suffering through detachment and the dissolution of ego (Buddhism).

![](https://files.s-anand.net/images/2026-01-22-the-meaning-of-life.avif)

I still believe there's no intrinsic meaning. Just lenses.

- We change lenses over time. E.g. I moved from strongly believing "Serve divine will" to not believing it.
- We believe multiple lenses at a time. E.g. I "Enjoy" food but "Transcend suffering" by fasting. (In fact, fasting makes food more enjoyable.)
- Lenses can conflict. Genes want to "Reproduce" but not all mothers "Survive" childbirth. Zealots who "Serve divine will" may "Serve people" against that will.

If that's the case, I no longer know how to evaluate right or wrong, good or bad, in an objective sense. Maybe these have meaning only within a lens.

---

PS: In the mid-1990s, I made a list of things I wanted to write about and stored it on a floppy disk with the filename `TOWRITE.TXT`. This post was first on that list. After 30 years, I finally wrote it!