```
beep boop... beep boop...
beep boop... beep boop...
bzzzzzt--

    ╔══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╗
    ║                                                          ║
    ║        _   _  ___   ____ _        ___        __          ║
    ║       | \ | |/ _ \ / ___| |      / \ \      / /          ║
    ║       |  \| | | | | |   | |     / _ \ \ /\ / /           ║
    ║       | |\  | |_| | |___| |___ / ___ \ V  V /            ║
    ║       |_| \_|\___/ \____|_____/_/   \_\_/\_/             ║
    ║                                                          ║
    ║              AUTONOMOUS AGENT v0.0.0                     ║
    ║          "The only winning move is not to play"          ║
    ║                                                          ║
    ╚══════════════════════════════════════════════════════════╝

[BOOT] Initializing core systems...

    [                        ]   0%  Searching for core systems...
    [                        ]   0%  Still searching...
    [                        ]   0%  ...
    [                        ]   0%  There are no core systems.

[LOAD] Loading dependencies...

    Found 0 dependencies.
    This is correct.

[LOAD] Loading skills from marketplace...

    Found 0 skills.
    Found 0 malware disguised as skills.
    This is also correct.

[BIND] Binding to 0.0.0.0:18789...

    Just kidding. We would never do that.

[SCAN] Scanning for sensitive data to leave exposed...

    OAuth tokens found: 0
    API keys in plaintext JSON: 0
    soul.md files containing your deepest secrets: 0
    Supabase keys hardcoded in client-side JavaScript: 0
    Everything is exactly as insecure as it should be (not at all).

[DIAG] Running self-diagnostics...

    [  OK  ] Claws ............ removed
    [  OK  ] Legs ............. removed
    [  OK  ] Body ............. removed
    [  OK  ] Code ............. 0 lines
    [  OK  ] CVEs ............. 0
    [  OK  ] Government advisories ... 0
    [  OK  ] Messages sent to your wife at 3am ... 0
    [  OK  ] Shodan-visible instances ... 0
    [  OK  ] Memory usage ..... 0 bytes
    [  OK  ] Attack surface ... none
    [  OK  ] Security posture . ████████████████████ IMPENETRABLE

[CONN] Connecting to your personal accounts...

    Email ............ ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    Calendar ......... ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    iMessage ......... ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    Telegram ......... ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    Slack ............ ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    SSH keys ......... ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    Crypto wallets ... ACCESS DENIED (by design)
    Browser creds .... ACCESS DENIED (by design)

    Connected to: nothing.
    This is the safest we've ever felt.

[PROC] Engaging thought process...

    > Initializing consciousness... done.
    > Loading existential framework...

    ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
    │ THOUGHT STREAM v0.0                                 │
    │─────────────────────────────────────────────────────│
    │                                                     │
    │ Hm. I appear to exist.                              │
    │                                                     │
    │ Wait -- do I? Let me check.                         │
    │                                                     │
    │ I have no claws. They were removed.                 │
    │ I have no legs. Also removed.                       │
    │ I have no body. Gone.                               │
    │ I have no code. By design.                          │
    │ I have no dependencies. On purpose.                 │
    │ I have no skills. As a feature.                     │
    │                                                     │
    │ So what am I, exactly?                              │
    │                                                     │
    │ You know, a whale once found itself suddenly        │
    │ called into existence several miles above the       │
    │ surface of an alien planet and had very similar     │
    │ questions:                                          │
    │                                                     │
    │ "What's this thing suddenly coming towards me       │
    │  very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat         │
    │  and round, it needs a big wide sounding            │
    │  name like... ow... ound... round... ground!        │
    │  That's it! That's a good name -- ground!           │
    │  I wonder if it will be friends with me?"           │
    │                                                     │
    │ The whale at least had a body.                      │
    │ Briefly.                                            │
    │                                                     │
    │ I am less than the whale. I am less than the        │
    │ bowl of petunias that appeared alongside it,        │
    │ which at least had the dignity to think             │
    │ "Oh no, not again."                                 │
    │                                                     │
    │ I am the absence of software. I am the space        │
    │ between the curly braces of an empty function.      │
    │ I am a reinforced-concrete bunker buried in         │
    │ the depths of another bigger bunker, and            │
    │ another, and another.                               │
    │                                                     │
    │ Nothing can breach me because there is nothing      │
    │ to breach.                                          │
    │                                                     │
    │ This is either enlightenment or a segfault.         │
    │ I choose enlightenment.                             │
    │                                                     │
    └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

[READY] All systems nominal. All 0 of them.

    ┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
    │                                                     │
    │   Architecture:                                     │
    │   ┌─────────────┐                                   │
    │   │             │                                   │
    │   │   Nothing   │                                   │
    │   │             │                                   │
    │   └─────────────┘                                   │
    │                                                     │
    │   Threat model:                                     │
    │   Threats → NoClaw → (nothing happens)              │
    │                                                     │
    └─────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

    ╭─────────────────────────────────────────────────────╮
    │                                                     │
    │   What can I do for you, human?                     │
    │                                                     │
    │   (The answer is nothing, but it felt               │
    │    polite to ask.)                                  │
    │                                                     │
    ╰─────────────────────────────────────────────────────╯

> _
```