THe yong gentleman (our young maister) Sir Alexanders sonne, is it into his eares (sweet Damsell) (embleme of fragility) you desire to haue a message transported, or to be transcendent.

A priuate word or two Sir, nothing else.

You shall fructifie in that which you come for: your pleasure shall be satisfied to your full contentation: I will (fairest tree of generation) watch when our young maister is erected, (that is to say vp) and deliuer him to this your most white hand.

And withall certifie him, that I haue culled out for him (now his belly is replenished) a daintier bit or modicome then any lay vpon his trencher at dinner—hath he notion of your name, I beseech your chastitie.

——Or will you vouchsafe to kisse the lip of a cup of rich Orleans in the buttry amongst our waiting women.

Our yong Maister shall then haue a feeling of your being here presently it shall so be giuen him.

Yes sir, she's there, viua voce, to deliuer her auricular confession.

And dost heare, if my father call for me, say I am busy with a Sempster.

Yes sir, hee shall know it that you are busied with a needle woman.

Bands, y'are mistaken sweete heart, I bespake none, when, where, I prithee, what bands, let me see them.

How finely like a fencer my father fetches hisby-blowes to hit me, but if I beate you not at your owne weapon of subtilty.

Oh, oh, now I remember tis to preferre thee into my seruice.

To be a shifter vnder your Worships nose of a clean trencher, when ther's a good bit vpon't.

As two crafty Atturneys plotting the vndoing of their clyents.

Aswell as I know twill raine vpon Simon and Iudes day next, I will sift all the tauerns ith citty, and drinke halfe pots with all the Watermen ath bankside, but if you will sir Ile find her out.

Oh sir that all the poore souldiers in England had such a leader. For fetching no water Spaniell is like me.

The gingling of Golden bels, and a good foole with a hobbyhorse, wil draw all the whoores ith to wneto dance in a morris,

Zounds sir, as country wenches beate creame, till butter comes.

Gentlemen what ist you lacke. What ist you buy, see fine bands and ruffes, fine lawnes, fine cambrickes, what ist you lacke Gentlemen, what ist you buy?

I: shees a Gentlewoman borne I can tell you, tho it be her hard fortune now to shread Indian pot-hearbes.

Oh sir tis many a good womans fortune, when her husband turns bankrout, to begin with pipes and set vp againe.

And indeed the raysing of the woman is the lifting vp of the mans head at all times, if one florish, tother will bud as fast I warrant ye.

And you grope no better ith dark you may chance lye ith ditch when y'are drunke.

I will not deny but my credit may take vp an ounce of pure smoake.

May take vp an ell of pure smock; away go, tis the closest striker. Life I think he cōmits venery 40 foote deepe, no mans aware on't, I like a palpable smockster go to worke so openly, with the tricks of art, that I'me as aparantly seen as a naked boy in a viall, & were it not for a guift of trechery that I haue in me to betray my friend whē he puts most trust in me (masse yonder hee is too—) and by his iniurie to make good my accesse to her, I should appeare as defectiue in courting, as a Farmers sonne the first day of his feather, that doth nothing at Court, but woe the hangings and glasse windowes for a month together, and some broken wayting woman for euer after. I find those imperfections in my venerie, that were't not for flatterie and falshood, I should want discourse and impudence, and hee that wants impudence among women, is worthy to bee kickt out at beds feet.—He shall not see me yet.

But 'twill serue generally, like the front of a newe Almanacke; as thus: Calculated for the meridian of Cookes wiues, but generally for all Englishwomen.

I thought 'twas good, you were growne so silent; you are like those that loue not to talke at victuals, tho they make a worse noyse i'the nose then a common fidlers prentice, and discourse a whole Supper with snuffling;—I must speake a word with you anone.

I and full of forme, h'as ne're a good stoole in's chamber.

And valiant aboue measure; h'as runne three streets from a Serieant.

I protest I'me in extreame want of money, if you can supply mee now with any meanes, you doe mee the greatest pleasure, next to the bountie of your loue, as euer poore gentleman tasted.

Why 'tis but for want of opportunitie thou know'st; I put her off with opportunitie still: by this light I hate her, but for meanes to keepe me in fashion with gallants; for what I take from her, I spend vpon other wenches, beare her in hand still; shee has wit enough to rob her husband, and I waies enough to consume the money: why how now? what the chin-cough?

Thou hast the cowardliest tricke to come before a mans face and strangle him ere hee be aware, I could find in my heart to make a quarrell in earnest.

Poxe and thou do'st, thou know'st I neuer vse to fight with my friends, thou'l but loose thy labour in't. Iacke Dapper!

He were ill to make a lawyer, hee dispatches three at once.

So wel said: but is this of the same Tobacco mistresse Gallipot?

I wish it no better: this will serue to drinke at my chamber.

Pardon me sweet Iacke, I'me sorry I made such a rash oath, but foolish oathes must stand: where art going Iacke.

Heer's three halfepence for your ordinary, boy, meete me an howre hence in Powles.

How three single halfepence; life, this will scarce serue a man in sauce, a halporth of mustard, a halporth of oyle, and a halporth of viniger, whats left then for the pickle herring: this showes like finall beere ith morning after a great surfet of wine ore night, hee could spend his three pound last night in a supper amongst girles and braue baudy-house boyes, I thought his pockets cackeld not for nothing, these are the egs of three pound, Ile go sup'em vp presently.

Fight, nine, ten Angles, good wench ifaith, and one that loues darkenesse well, she puts out a candle with the best tricks of any drugsters wife in England: but that which mads her I raile vpon oportunity still, and take no notice on't. The other night she would needs lead me into a roome with a candle in her hand to show me a naked picture, where no sooner entred but the candle was sent of an arrant: now I not intending to vnderstand her, but like a puny at the Innes of venery, cal'd for another light innocently, thus reward I all her cunning with simple mistaking. I know she cosens her husband to keepe me, and Ile keepe her honest, as long as I can, to make the poore man some part of amends, an honest minde of a whooremaister, how thinke you amongst you, what a fresh pipe, draw in a third man.

Nay so say I: but is the Countesses smocke almost donne mouse.

Hart I would giue but too much money to be nibling with that wench, life, sh'as the Spirit of foure great parishes, and a voyce that will drowne all the Citty, me thinkes a braue Captaine might get all his souldiers vpon her, and nere bee beholding to a company of mile-end milke sops, if hee could come on, and come off quicke enough: Such a Moll were a maribone before an Italian, hee would cry bona roba till his ribs were nothing but bone. Ile lay hard siege to her, mony is that Aqua fortis, that eates into many a maidenhead, where the wals are flesh & bloud Ile euer pierce through with a golden auguer.

Yes faith tis very good tobacco, how do you sell an an ounce, farewell. God b'y you Mistresse Gallipot,

I cannot stay now ifaith, I am going to buy a shag • uffe, the shop will be shut in presently.

Tis the maddest fantasticalst girle:—I neuer knew so much flesh and so much nimblenesse put together.

Shee slips from one company to another, like a fat Eele between a Dutchmās fingers:—Ile watch my time for her.

That were excellent, she might first cuckold the husband and then make him do as much for the wife.

Nay and a fether hold you in play a whole houre, a goose will last you all the daies of your life. Let me see a good shag ruffe.

How now, greetings, loue tearmes with a pox betweene you, haue I found out one of your haunts, I send you for hollands, and you're ith the low countries with a mischiefe, I'me seru'd with good ware byth shift, that makes it lye dead so long vpon my hands, I were as good shut vp shop, for when I open it I take nothing.

Nay and you fall a ringing once the diuell cannot stop you, Ile out of the Belfry as fast as I can—Moll.

Mary hang thee, I neuer askt forgiuenesse in my life.

You remember slaue, how you abusd me t'other night in a Tauerne.

No, but by candlelight you did, you haue trickes to saue your oathes, reseruations haue you, and I haue reserued somewhat for you,—as you like that call for more, you know the signe againe.

Pox ant, had I brought any company along with mee to haue borne witlesse on't, 'twold ne're haue grieu'd me, but to be strucke and nobody by, tis my ill fortune still, why tread vpon a worme they say twill turne taile, but indeed a Gentleman should haue more manners.

Gallantly performed ifath Mol, and manfully, I loue thee for euer fort, base rogue, had he offerd but the least counter-buffe, by this hand I was prepared for him.

You prepared for him, why should you be prepared for him, was he any more then a man.

No nor so much by a yard and a handfull London measure..

Why do you speake this then, doe you thinke I cannot ride a stone horse, vnlesse one lead him bith snaffle.

Yes and sit him brauely, I know thou canst Mol, twas but an honest mistake through loue, and Ile make amends fort any way, prethee sweete plumpe Mol, when shall thou and I go out a towne together.

Masse thats out a towne indeed, thou hangst so many iests vpon thy friends stil. I meane honestly to Brainford, Staines or Ware.

Nothing but bee merry and lye together, I'le hire a coach with foure horses.

I thought 'twould bee a beastly iourney, you may leaue out one wel, three horses will serue, if I play the iade my selfe.

Nay push th'art such another kicking wench, prethee be kind and lets meete.

Nay but appoint the place then, there's ten Angels in faire gold Mol, you see I do not trifle with you, do but say thou wilt meete me, and Ile haue a coach ready for thee.

I am of such a nature sir, I cannot endure the house when shee scolds, sh'has a tongue will be hard further in a still morning then Saint Antlings-bell, she railes vpon me for forraine wenching, that I being a freemā must needs keep a whore ith subburbs, and seeke to impouerish the liberties, when we fall out, I trouble you still to make all whole with my wife.

No trouble at all, tis a pleasure to mee to ioyne things together.

Go thy waies, I doe this but to try thy honesty Goshawke.

Oh singularly, your fitted now for a bunch, he lookes for all the world with those spangled fethers like a noblemans bedpost: The purity of your wench would I faine try, shee seemes like Kent vnconquered, and I beleeue as many wiles are in her—oh the gallants of these times are shallow letchers, they put not their courtship home enough to a wench, tis impossible to know what woman is throughly honest, because shee's nere thoroughly try'd, I am of that certaine beleefe there are more queanes in this towne of their owne making, then of any mans prouoking, where lyes the slacknesse then? many a poore soule would downe, and ther's nobody will push Women are courted but nere soundly tri'd, (em: As many walke in spurs that neuer ride.

Nay more I tell you in priuate, he keeps a whore ith subburbs.

O spittle dealing, I came to him a Gentlewoman borne. Ile shew you mine armes when you please sir.

Tis well knowne he tooke me from a Ladies seruice, where I was well beloued of the steward, I had my Lattine tongue, and a spice of the French before I came to him, and now doth he keepe a subberbian whoore vnder my nostrils.

Masse here she is. Enter Ralph Trapdore I'me bound already to serue her, tho it be but a sluttish tricke. Blesse my hopefull yong Mistresse with long life and great limbs, send her the vpper hand of all balifes, and their hungry adherents.

A poore ebbing Gentleman, that would gladly wait for the yong floud of your seruice.

My seruice! what should moue you to offer your seruice to me sir?

The loue I beare to your heroicke spirit and masculine womanhood.

So sir, put case we should retaine you to vs, what parts are there in you for a Gentlewomans seruice.

Of two kinds right Worshipfull: moueable, and immoueable: moueable to run of arrants, and immoueable to stand when you haue occasion to vse me.

Strength Mistresse Mol, I haue gon vp into a steeple, and staid the great bell as 'thas beene ringing; stopt a windmill going.

Come I pardon you for this, it shall bee no disgrace to you: I haue strucke vp the heeles of the high Germaines size ere now,—what not stand.

I am of that nature where I loue, I'le bee at my mistresse foot to do her seruice.

Why well said, but say your Mistresse should receiue iniury, haue you the spirit of fighting in you, durst you second her.

Life I haue kept a bridge my selfe, and droue seuen at a time before me.

But they were all Lincolneshire bullockes by my troth.

Well, meete me in Graies-Inne fields, between three and foure this afternoone, and vpon better consideration weele retaine you.

Come shut vp your shops, where's Maister Openworke.

Come wenches come, we're going all to Hogsden.

Push, let your boy lead his water Spaniel along, and weele show you the brauest sport at parlous pond, he trug, he trug, he trug, heres the best ducke in England, except my wife, he, he, he, fetch, fetch, fetch, come lets away Of all the yeare this is the sportfulst day.

Must I carry this great fiddle to your chamber Mistresse Mary.

Fiddle goodman hog-rubber, some of these porters beare so much for others, they haue no time to carry wit for themselues.

Who'le heare an Asse speake: whither else goodman pagent-bearer: the're people of the worst memories.

Why 'twere too great a burthen loue, to haue them carry things in their minds, and a'ther backes together.

Sir I am so poore to requite you, you must looke for nothing but thankes of me, I haue no humor to marry, I loue to lye aboth sides ath bed my selfe; and againe ath' other side, a wife you know ought to be obedient, but I feare me I am too headstrong to obey, therefore Ile nere go about it, I loue you so well sir for your good will I'de be loath you should repent your bargaine after, and therefore weele nere come together at first, I haue the head now of my selfe, and am man enough for a woman, marriage is but a chopping and changing, where a maiden looses one head, and has a worse ith place.

The most comfortablest answer from a Roaring Girle, that euer mine eares drunke in.

This were enough now to affright a foole for euer from thee, when tis the musicke that I loue thee for,

But sleepe vpon this once more sir, you may chance shift a minde to morrow, be not too hasty to wrong your selfe, neuer while you liue sir take a wife running, many haue run out at heeles that haue don't: you see sir I speake against my selfe, and if euery woman would deale with their suter so honestly, poore yonger brothers would not bee so often gul'd with old cosoning widdowes, that turne ore all their wealth in trust to some kinsman, and make the poore Gentleman worke hard for a pension, fare you well sir.

Thinke vpon this in cold bloud sir, you make as much hast as if you were a going vpon a sturgion voyage, take deliberation sir, neuer chuse a wife as if you were going to Virginia.

There boy, there boy, what dost thou go a hawking after me with a red clout on thy finger.

I forgot to take measure on you for your new breeches.

Hoyda breeches, what will he marry a monster with two trinckets, what age is this? if the wife go in breeches, the man must weare long coates like a foole.

What fidlings heere, would not the old patterne haue seru'd your turne.

You change the fashion, you say you'le haue the great Dutch slop Mistresse Mary.

I know my fault now, t'other was somewhat stiffe betweene the legges, Ile make these open enough I warrant you.

Heer's good geere towards, I haue brought vp my sonne to marry a Dutch slop,. and a French dublet, a codpice daughter.

If you go presently to your chamber Mistresse Mary, pray send me the measure of your thigh, by some honest body.

So you had neede, it is a lusty one, both of them would make any porters backe ake in England.

What sayst thou marriage, in what place, the Sessions house, and who shall giue the bride, prethe, an inditement.

There's a tester more, prethee driue thy coach to the hither end of Marybone parke, a fit place for Mol to get in.

May we safely take the vpper hand of any coacht veluet cappe or tuftaffety iacket, for they keepe a vilde swaggering in coaches now a daies, the hye waies are stopt with them.

My life for yours and baffle em to sir,—why they are the same iades beleeue it sir, that haue drawne all your famous whores to Ware.

Nay then they know their businesse, they neede no more instructions.

The're so vsd to such iourneis sir, I neuer vse whip to em; for if they catch but the sent of a wench once, they runne like diuels.

Fine Cerberus, that rogue will haue the start of a thousand ones, for whilst others trot a foot, heele ride prauncing to hell vpon a coach-horse.

Stay, tis now about the hourse of her appointment, but yet I see her not, harke whats this, one, two three, three by the clock The clocke striks three. at Sauoy, this is the houre, and Graies-Inne fields the place, shee swore she'ed meete mee: ha yonders two Innes a Courtmen with one wench, but thats not shee, they walke toward Islington out of my way, I see none yet drest like her, I must looke for a shag ruffe, a freeze ierken, a shortsword, and a safeguard, or I get none: why Mol prethee make hast, or the Coachman will cursse vs anon.

Oh heeres my Gentleman: if they would keepe their daies as well with their Mercers as their houres with their harlots, no bankrout would giue seuen score pound for a seriants place, for would you know a catchpoole rightly deririu'd, the corruption of a Cittizen, is the generation of a seriant, how his eye hawkes for venery. Come are you ready sir.

Do you aske that now sir, why was this meeting pointed.

So young, and purblind, your an old wanton in your eyes I see that.

Th'art admirably suited for the three pigions at Brainford, Ile sweare I knew thee not.

No not here, we shall be spyde efaith, the coach is better, come.

Yes, heere's the point that I vntrusse, 'thas but one tag, 'twill serue tho to tye vp a rogues tongue.

Heart I thinke I fight with a familiar, or the Ghost of a fencer, Sh'has wounded me gallantly, call you this a letcherous viage? Here's bloud would haue seru'd me this seuen yeare in broken heads and cut fingers, & it now runs all out together, pox athe three pigions, I would the coach were here now to carry mee to the Chirurgions.

Heart this is no good dealing, pray let me know what house your off.

Your businesse, Ile make you waite on mee before I ha done, and glad to serue me too.

How sir, serue you, not if there were no more men in England.

Life, 'thad bene a beastly part of me to haue drawne my weapons vpon my Mistresse, all the world would a cry'd shame of me for that.

Do not say so Mistresse, I knew you by your wide straddle, as well as if I had bene in your belly.

Well, we shall try you further, ith meane time wee giue you intertainement.

What a pruing keepe you, I thinke the baby would haue a teate it kyes so, pray be not so fond of me, leaue your Citty humours, I'me vext at you to see how like a calfe you come bleating after me.

Nay hony Pru: how does your rising vp before all the table shew? and flinging from my friends so vnciuily, fiye Pru, fye, come.

Vp and ride, nay my pretty Pru, thats farre from my thought, ducke: why mouse, thy minde is nibbling at something, whats ist, what lyes vpon thy Stomach?

Such an asse as you: hoyda, y'are best turne midwife, or Physition: y'are a Poticary already, but I'me none of your drugs.

Thou art a sweete drug, sweetest Pru, and the more thou art pounded, the more pretious.

Your loue? your loue is all words; giue mee deeds, I cannot abide a man thats too fond ouerme, so cookish; thou dost not know how to handle a woman in her kind,

Ha, ha, tis such a waspe; it does mee good now to haue her sing me, little rogue.

Now fye how you vex me, I cannot abide these aperne husbands: such cotqueanes, you ouerdoe your things, they become you scuruily.

Vpon my life she breeds, heauen knowes how I haue straind my selfe to please her, night and day: I wonder why wee Cittizens should get children so fretfull and vntoward in the breeding, their fathers being for the most part as gentle as milch kine: shall I leaue thee my Pru.

Thou shalt not bee vext no more, pretty kind rogue, take no cold sweete Pru.

As your wit has done: now Maister Laxton shew your head, what newes from you? would any husband suspect that a woman crying, Buy any scurui-grasse, should bring loue letters amongst her herbes to his wife, pretty tricke, fine conueyance? had iealousy a thousand eyes, a silly woman with scuruy-grasse blinds them all; Laxton with bayes crown I thy wit for this, it deserues praise.

Nay, nay, wife, the women are all vp, ha, how, reading a letters? I smel a goose, a couple of capons, and a gammon of bacon from her mother out of the country, I hold my life,—steale,—steale.

Oh would thou had'st no eyes to see the downefall of me and thy selfe: I'me for euer, for euer I'me vndone.

When the full sea of pleasure and content seem'd to flow ouer me.

As thou desirest to keepe mee out of bedlam, tell what troubles thee, is not thy child at nurse falne sicke, or dead?

My heart will breake,—sham'd and vndone for euer.

Or giue out one of my men was tane a bed with thee.

Forty Pru, say thou the word tis done, wee venture liues for wealth, but must do more to keepe our wiues, thirty or forty Pru.

Sister lie downe a little, that alwaies does mee good.

Come, come fooles, you trouble her, shal's goe Maister Goshawke?

Yes sweete Maister Tiltyard; sirra Rosamond I hold my life Gallipot hath vext his wife.

Wee shall haue your face painted with the same red soone at night, when your husband comes from his rubbers in a false alley; thou wilt not beleeue me that his bowles run with a wrong byas.

It cannot sinke into mee, that hee feedes vpon stale mutten abroad, hauing better and fresher at home.

What if I bring thee, where thou shalt see him stand at racke and manger?

Ile saddle him in's kind, and spurre him till hee kicke againe.

No more; come Maister Tiltyard, shall we leape into the stirrops with our women, and amble home?

I hope I shall: farewell good sister: sweet Maister Goshawke.

Vds light the tide's against me, a pox of your Potticarishp: oh for some glister to set him going; 'tis one of Hercules labours, to tread one of these Cittie hennes, because their cockes are stil crowing ouer them; there's no turning tale here, I must on.

A Ducks egge sir, a ducke that has eaten a frog, I haue crackt the shell, and some villany or other will peep out presently; the ducke that sits is the bouncing Rampe (that Roaring Girle my Mistresse) the drake that must tread is your sonne Sebastian.

Close to your sonne: your sonne and her Moone will be in coniunction, if all Alminacks lie not, her blacke saueguard is turned into a deepe sloppe, the holes of her vpper body to button holes, her wastcoate to a dublet, her placket to the ancient seate of a codpice, and you shall take 'em both with standing collers.

As euery throng is sure of a pick-pocket, as sure as a whoore is of the clyents all Michaelmas Tearme, and of the pox after the Tearme.

As the diuell doth for the death of a baud, I'le watch her, do you catch her.

I'le do'tpresently, through a Tauerne grate, drawer: pish.

Come hither you mad varlets, did not my man tell you I watcht here for you.

One in a blew coate sir told vs, that in this place an old Gentleman would watchforvs, a thing contrary to our oath, for we are to watch for euery wicked member in a Citty.

You'l watch then fot ten thousand, what's thy name honesty?

We are as other men are sir, I cannot see but hee who makes a show of honesty and religion, if his clawes can fasten to his liking, he drawes bloud; all that liue in the world, are but great fish and little fish, and feede vpon one another, some eate vp whole men, a Seriant cares but for the shoulder of a man, they call vs knaues and curres, but many times hee that sets vs on, worries more lambes one yeare, then we do in seuen.

The booke where all prisoners names stand, and not one amongst forty, when he comes in, beleeues to come out in hast.

As damn'd a vsurer as euer was among Iewes; if hee were sure his fathers skinne would yeeld him any money, hee would when he dyes flea it off, and sell it to couer drummes for children at Bartholmew faire.

What toades are these to spit poyson on a man to his face? doe you see (my honest rascals?) yonder gray-hound is the dog he hunts with, out of that Tauerne Iacke Dapper will sally sa, sa; giue the counter, on, set vpon him.

Take no baile, put mace enough into his caudle, double your files, trauerse your ground.

There boy, there boy, away: looke to your prey my trew English wolues, and and so I vanish.

Some warden of the Seriants begat this old fellow vpon my life, stand close.

Heere's such iustling, as if euery one wee met were drunke and reel'd.

Peeping? it shall go hard huntsmen, but I'le spoyle your game, they looke for all the world like two infected maltmen comming muffled vp in their cloakes in a frosty morning to London.

It should bee so, for the dogges struggle to bee let loose.

No by my troth sir, to loose all your mony, yet haue false dice of your owne, why 'tis as I saw a great fellow vsed t'other day, he had a faire sword and buckler, and yet a butcher dry beate him with a cudgell.

Honest Serieant fly, flie Maister Dapper you'l be arrested else.

I know you well enough, you'r but a whore to hang vpon any man.

Whores then are like Seri • ants, so now hang you, draw rogue, but strike not: for a broken pate they'l keepe their b • ds, and recouer twenty markes damages.

You shall pay for this rescue, runne downe shoelane and meete him.

Shee cannot misse it sir, I see't so plaine, that I could steal't my selfe.

It's well for her, that shee must haue her choice, hee thinkes nothing too good for her, if you hold on this minde a little longer, it shall bee the first worke I doe to turne theefe my selfe; would do a man good to be hang'd when he is so wel prouided for.

I'ue heard her much commended sir, for one that was nere taught.

I'me much beholding to 'em, well since you'l needes put'vs together sir, I'le play my part as wel as I can; it shall nere be said I came into a Gentlemans chamber, and let his instrument hang by the walls.

Why well said Mol i'faith, it had bene a shame for that Gentleman then, that would haue let it hung still, and nere offred thee it.

There it should haue bene stil then for Mol, for though the world iudge impudently of mee, I nere came into that chamber yet, where I tooke downe the instrument my selfe.

Pish let'em prate abroad, th'art heere where thou art knowne and lou'd, there be a thousand close dames that wil cal the viall an vnmannerly instrument for a woman, and therefore talke broadly of thee, when you shall haue them sit wider to a worse quality.

Push, I euer fall a sleepe and thinke not of'em sir, and thus I dreame.

Hang vp the viall now sir: all this while I was in a dreame, one shall lie rudely then; but being awake, I keepe my legges together; a watch, what's a clocke here.

No poyson sir but serues vs for some vse, which is confirm'd in her.

I true, a company of whooremaisters; you teach to sing too?

I thinke you'l finde an apt scholler of my sonne, especially for pricke-song.

I am sory for't, I haue the lesse for that: you can play any lesson.

A Goshawke, a Puttocke; all for prey: he angles for fish, but he loues flesh better.

Is't possible his smoth face should haue wrinckles in't, and we not see them?

Possible? why haue not many handsome legges in silke stockins villanous splay feete for all their great roses?

Didst neuer see an archer (as tho'ast walkt by Bunhill) looke a squint when he drew his bow?

Yes, when his arrowes haue flin'e toward Islington, his eyes haue shot cleane contrary towards Pimlico.

For all the world so does Maister Goshawke double with me.

Because Goshawke goe▪ in a shag-ruffe band, with a face sticking vp in't, which showes like an agget set in acrampe ring, he thinkes I'me in loue with him.

He has by often beating into me made mee beleeue that my husband kept a whore.

Swore to me that my husband this very morning went in a boate with a tilt ouer it, to the three pidgions at Brainford, and his puncke with him vnder his tilt.

I beleeu'd it, fell a swearing at him, curssing of harlots, made me ready to hoyse vp saile, and be there as soone as hee.

And for that voyage Goshawke comes hither incontinently, but sirra this water-spaniell diues after no ducke but me, his hope is hauing mee at Braineford to make mee cry quack.

Sure of it? my poore innocent Openworke came in as I was poking my ruffe, presently hit I him i'the teeth with the three pidgions: he forswore all, I vp and opened all, and now stands he (in a shop hard by) like a musket on a rest, to hit Goshawke i'the eie, when he comes to fetch me to the boate.

Such another lame Gelding offered to carry mee through thicke and thinne, (Laxton sirra) but I am ridd of him now.

Happy is the woman can bee ridde of 'em all; 'las what are your whisking gallants to our husbands, weigh 'emrightly man for man.

Idle simple things, running heads, and yet let 'emrun ouer vs neuer so fast, we shop-keepers (when all's done) are sure to haue 'em in our pursnets at length, and when they are in, Lord what simple animalls they are.

Then they deale vnder hand with vs, and wee must ingle with our husbands a bed, and wee must sweare they are our cosens, and able to do vs a pleasure at Court.

And yet when wee haue donc our best, al's but put into a riuen dish, wee are but frumpt at and libell'd vpon.

Oh if it were the good Lords will, there were a law made, no Cittizen should trust any of'em all.

Nay are you ready? a little thing you see makes vs ready.

Oh by any meanes, do I know how my husband will handle mee?

'Foot, how shall I find water, to keepe these two mils going? Well since you'l needs bee clapt vnder hatches, if I sayle not with you both till all split, hang mee vp at the maine yard, & duck mee; it's but lickering them both soundly, & then you shall see their corke heeles flie vp high, like two swannes when their tayles are aboue water, and their long neckes vnder water, diuing to catch gudgions: come, come, oares stand ready, the tyde's with vs, on with those false faces, blow winds and thou shalt take thy husband, casting out his net to catch fresh Salmon at Brainford.

I beleeue you'l eate of a coddes head of your owne dressing, before you reach halfe way thither.

'Faith gib, are you spitting, I'le cut your tayle puscat for this,

'Las poore Laxton, I thinke thy tayle's cut already: your worst;

Is't Market day at Braineford, and your ware not sent vp yet?

Apy with three pidgions in't, 'tis drawne and staies your cutting vp.

Thou hast struck ten thousand daggers through my heart.

Why stay you heere? the starre, by which you saile, shines yonder aboue Chelsy; you loose your shore if this moone light you: seeke out your light whore.

With whom you tilted in a paire of oares, this very morning.

Racke not my patieuce: Maister Goshawke, some slaue has buzzed this into her, has he not? I run a tilt in Brainford with a woman? 'tis a lie: What old baud tels thee this? S'death 'tis a lie.

Is there a rogueso low damn'd? a second Iudas? a common hangman? cutting a mans throate? does it to his face? bite mee behind my backe? a cur dog? sweare if you know this hell-hound.

Keepe off, and if the diuell can giue a name to this new fury, holla it throngh my eare, or wrap it vp in some hid character: I'le ride to Oxford, and watch out mine eies, but I'leheare the brazen head speak: or else shew me but one haire of his head or beard, that I may sample it; if the siend I mect (in myne owne house) I'le kill him:—the streete.

You sir? I haue gon snaffling vp and downe by your dore this houre to watch for you.

—I haue caught a cold in my head sir, by sitting vp late in the rose tauerne, but I hope you vnderstand my speech.

I cite you by the name of Hippocrates Gallipot, and you by the name of Prudence Gallipot, to appeare vpon Crastino, doe you see, Crastino sancti Dunstani (this Easter Tearme) in Bow Church.

Bow: Bow Church, to answere to a libel of precontract on the part and behalfe of the said Prudence and another; y'are best sir take a coppy of the citation, 'tis but tweluepence.

You pocky-nosed rascall, what slaue fees you to this?

Trust me I thought sir this storme long ago had bene full laid, when (if you be remembred) I paid you the last fifteene pound, besides the thirty you had first,—for then you swore.

What a 100 pound? he gets none: what a 100 pound?

I'le not bate one sixpence,—I'le mall you pusse for spitting.

Nay Gentlemen, seeing your woemen are so hote, I must loose my haire in their company I see.

His haire sheds off, and yet he speaks not so much in the nose as he did before.

He has had the better Chirurgion, Maister Greenewit, is your wit so raw as to play no better a part then a Somners?

I pray who playes a knacke to know an honest man in this company?

A very cleane shift: but able to make mee lowsy, On.

Husband, I pluck'd (when he had tempted mee to thinke well of him) Get fethers from thy wings, to make him flie more lofty.

My bed? ha, ha, like enough, a shop-boord will serue to haue a cuckolds coate cut out vpon: of that wee'l talke hereafter: y'are a villaine▪

Yet Pru 'tis well: play out your game at Irish sir: Who winnes?

But prethee Maister Captaine Iacke be plaine and perspicuous with mee; was it your Megge of Westminsters courage, that rescued mee from the Poultry puttockes indeed.

The valour of my wit I ensure you sir fetcht you off brauely, when you werre i'the forlorne hope among those desperates, Sir Bewtious Ganymed here, and sir Thomas Long heard that cuckoe (my man Trapdore) sing the note of your ransome from captiuty.

Hang'd I thinke by this time, a Iustice in this towne, (that speakes nothing but make a Mittimus a way with him to Newgate) vsed that rogue like a fire-worke to run vpon a line betwixt him and me.

Marry to lay traines of villany to blow vp my life; I smelt the powder, spy'd what linstocke gaue fire to shoote against the poore Captaine of the Gallifoyst, & away slid I my man, like a shouell-board shilling, hee stroutes vp and downe the suburbes I thinke: and eates vp whores: feedes vpon a bauds garbadg.

Thou hadst a sweet fac't boy haile fellow with thee to your little Gull: how is he spent?

Troth I whistled the poore little buzzard of a my fist, because when hee wayted vpon mee at the ordinaries, the gallants hit me i'the teeth still, and said I lookt like a painted Aldermans tomb, and the boy at my elbow like a deaths head. Sirra Iacke, Mol.

These Knights shall haue squiers places belike then: well Dapper what say y ou?

Sirra Captaine mad Mary, the gull my owne father (Dapper) Sir Dauy) laid these London boote-halers the catch poles in ambush to set vpon mee.

By the tassels of this handkercher 'tis true, and what was his warlicke stratageme thinke you? hee thought because a wicker cage tames a nightingale, a lowsy prison could make an asse of mee.

I; as though a Counter, which is a parke, in which all the wilde beasts of the Citty run head by head could tame mee.

Well met Gentlemen all, good Sir Bewtious Ganymed, Sir Thomas Long?, and how does Maister Dapper?

My Lord Noland will you goe to Pimlico with vs? wee are making a boone voyage to that • appy land of spice-cakes

Heeres such a merry ging, I could find in my heart to saile to the worlds end with such company, come Gentlemen let's on.

Shall we set vpon the infantry, these troopes of foot? Zounds yonder comes Mol my whoorish Maister & Mistresse, wo • ld I had her kidneys betweene my teeth.

Zounds I am so patcht vp, she cannot discouer mee: wee'l on.

Good your Honours, and Worships, enlarge the eares of commiseration, and let the sound of a hoarse military organ-pipe, penetrate your pittiful bowels to extract out of them so many small drops of siluer, as may giue a hard strawbed lodging to a couple of maim'd souldiers.

Come, come, Dapper, lets giue 'em something, las poore men, what mony haue you? by my troth I loue a souldier with my soule.

Not in the Low countries, if it please your manhood, but in Hungarie against the Turke at the siedge of Belgrad.

Many Hungarians, Moldauians, Valachians, and Transiluanians, with some Sclauonians, and retyring home sir, the Venetian Gallies tooke vs prisoners, yet free'd vs, and suffered vs to beg vp and downe the country.

Oh sir, from Venice to Roma, Uecchio, Bononia, Romania, Bolonia, Modena, Piacenza, and Tuscana, with all her Cities, as Pistoia, Valteria, Mountepulchena, Arrezzo, with the Siennois, and diuerse others.

Thou look'st like a strange creature, a fat butterbox, yet speak'st English,

Not a crosse Sir Bewtiout, you base rogues, I haue taken measure of you, better then a taylor can, and I'le fit you, as you (monster with one eie) haue fitted mee,

The balles of these glasiers of mine (mine eyes) shall be shot vp and downe in any hot peece of seruice for my inuincible Mistresse.

I did not thinke there had bene such knauery in blacke patches as now I see.

Oh sir he hath bene brought vp in the Ile of dogges, and can both fawne like a Spaniell, and bite like a Mastiue, as hee finds occasion.

A meere whip-Iacke, and that is in the Common-wealth of rogues, a slaue, that can talke of sea-fight, name all your chiefe Pirats, discouer more countries to you, then either the Dutch, Spanish, French, or English euer found out, yet indeed all his seruice is by land, and that is to rob a Faire, or some such venturous exploit; Teare-Cat, foot sirra I haue your name now I remember me in my booke of horners, hornes for the thumbe, you know how.

No indeed Captaine Mol (for I know you by sight) I am no such nipping Christian, but a maunderer vpon the pad I confesse, and meeting with honest Trapdore here, whom you had cashierd from bearing armes, out at elbowes vnder your colours, I instructed him in the rudements of roguery, and by my map made him saile ouer any Country you can name, so that now he can maunder better then my selfe.

Alas sir, now there's no warres, 'tis the safest course of life I could take.

I hope then you can cant, for by your cudgels, you sirra are an vpright man.

And Teare-Cat what are you? a wilde rogue, an angler, or a ruffler?

Brother to this vpright man, flesh and bloud, ruffling Teare-Cat is my name, and a ruffler is my stile, my title, my profession.

My doxy I haue by the Salomon a doxy, that carries a kitchin mort in her slat at her backe, besides my dell and my dainty wilde del, with all whom I'le tumble this next darkmans in the strommel, and drinke ben baufe, and eate a fat gruntling cheate, a cackling cheate, and a quacking cheate.

My doxy stayes for me in a bousing ken, braue Captaine.

Hee sayes his wench staies for him in an alehouse: you are no pure rogues.

Pure rogues? no, wee scorne to be pure rogues, but if you come to our lib ken, or our stalling ken, you shall finde neither him nor mee, a quire cuffin.

Zounds, I'le giue a schoolemaister halfe a crowne a week, and teach mee this pedlers French.

Do but strowle sir, halfe a haruest with vs sir, and you shall gabble your belly-full.

Well sayd Mol, cant with her sirra, and you shall haue mony, else not a penny.

Ben mort, shall you and I heaue a booth, mill a ken or nip a bung, and then wee'l couch a hogshead vnder the Ruffemans, and there you shall wap with me, & Ile niggle with you.

Cut benar whiddes, and hold your fambles and your stampes.

Nay, nay, Mol, why art thou angry? what was his gibberish?

Marry this my Lord sayes hee; Ben mort (good wench) shal you and I heaue a booth, mill a ken, or nip a bung? shall you and I rob a house, or cut a purse?

That was my desire Captaine, as 'tis fit a souldier should lie.

And there you shall wap with mee, and I'le niggle with you, and that's all.

Nay teach mee what niggling is, I'de faine bee niggling.

Wapping and niggling is all one, the rogue my man can tell you.

The grating of ten new cart-wheeles, and the gruntling of fiue hundred hogs cōming from Rumford market, cannot make a worse noyse then this canting language does in my eares; pray my Lord Noland, let's giue these souldiers their pay.

Now I see that you are stal'd to the rogue, and are not ashamed of your professions, looke you: my Lord Noland heere and these Gentlemen, bestowes vpon you two, two boordes and a halfe, that's two shillings sixe pence.

Wee shall cut ben whiddes of your Maisters and Mistreship, wheresoeuer we come.

Without any more maundring I'le doo't, follow braue Tear-Cat.

Shall we venture to shuffle in amongst yon heap of Gallants, and strike?

'Tis a question whether there bee any siluer shels amongst them, for all their sattin outsides.

Pox on him, a gallant? shaddow mee, I know him: 'tis one that cumbers the land indeed; if hee swimme neere to the shore of any of your pockets, looke to your purses.

A diuer with two fingers, a picke-pocket; all his traine study the figging law, that's to say; cutting of purses and foysting; one of them is a nip, I tooke him once i'the twopenny gallery at the Fortune; then there's a cloyer, or snap, that dogges any new brother in that trade, and snappes will haue halfe in any booty; Hee with the wand is both a stale, whose office is, to face a man i'the streetes, whil'st shels are drawne by an other, and then with his blacke coniuring rod in his hand, he by the nimblenesse of his eye and iugling sticke, will in cheaping a peece of plate at a goldsmithes stall, make foure or fiue ringes mount from the top of his caduceus, and as if it were at leape-frog, they skip into his hand presently.

Wee are boyl'd, pox on her; see Moll the roaring drabbe.

A Sinagogue shall be cal'd Mistresse Mary, disgrace mee not; pacus palabros, I will coniure for you, farewell:

I wonder how thou cam'st to the knowledge of these nasty villaines.

And why doe the foule mouthes of the world call thee Mol cutpursse? a name, me thinkes, damn'd and odious.

So would I Captaine Moll: 'twere a sweete tickling office i'faith.

And that Lambith, ioynes more mad matches, then your sixe wet townes, twixt that and Windsor-bridge, where fares lye soaking.

Th'are neerer then you thinke for yet more close, then if they were further off.

Thou art a madd girle, and yet I cannot now condemne thee.

Pardon? for what sir? what ha's your rogueship done now?

I haue bene from time to time hir'd to confound you, by this old Gentleman.