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MR. WILLIAM SHAKESPEARES COMEDIES, HISTORIES, & TRAGEDIES.
Publiſhed according to the True Originall Copies.
LONDON Printed by Iſaac Iaggard, and Ed. Blount. 1623.
SHAKESPEARE, by humShakeſpeare; that what delight is in them, may be euer your L.L. the reputation his, & the faults ours, if any be committed, by a payre ſo carefull to ſhew their gratitude both to the liuing, and the dead, as is
Black-Friers, or the Cock-pit, to arraigne Playes dailie, know, theſe Playes haue had their triall alreadie, and ſtood out all Ap
It had bene a thing, we confeſſe, worthie to haue bene wiſhed, that the Author himſelfe had liu'd to haue ſet forth, and ouerſeen his owne writings; But ſince it hath bin ordain'd otherwiſe, and he by death de
Heere Maſter: What cheere?
Good: Speake to th' Mariners: fall too't, yarely, or we run our ſelues a ground, beſtirre, beſtirre.
Heigh my hearts, cheerely, cheerely my harts: yare, yare: Take in the toppe-ſale: Tend to th' Maſters whiſtle: Blow till thou burſt thy winde, if roome e
Good Boteſwain
I pray now keepe below.
Where is the Maſter, Boſon?
Nay, good be patient.
When the Sea is: hence, what cares theſe roa
Good, yet remember whom thou haſt aboord.
None that I more loue then my ſelfe. You are a Counſellor, if you can command theſe Elements to ſi
I haue great comfort from this fellow: methinks he hath no drowning marke vpon him, his complexion is perfect Gallowes: ſtand faſt good Fate to his han
Downe with the top-Maſt: yare, lower, lower, bring her to Try with Maine-courſe. A plague —
A poxe o' your throat, you bawling, blaſphe
Worke you then.
Hang cur, hang, you whoreſon inſolent Noyſe
I'le warrant him for drowning, though the Ship were no ſtronger then a Nutt-ſhell, and as leaky as an vnſtanched wench.
Lay her a hold, a hold, ſet her two courſes off to Sea againe, lay her off.
All loſt, to prayers, to prayers, all loſt.
What muſt our mouths be cold?
The King, and Prince, at prayers, let's aſſiſt them, for our caſe is as theirs.
I' am out of patience.
Let's all ſinke with' King
Let's take leaue of him.
Now would I giue a thouſand furlongs of Sea, for an Acre of barren ground: Long heath, Browne firrs, any thing; the wills aboue be done, but I would faine dye a dry death.
O woe, the day.
Certainely Sir, I can.
But that I doe not.
Sir, are not you my Father?
Sir, moſt heedefully.
O good Sir, I doe.
Your tale, Sir, would cure deafeneſſe.
Oh the heauens:
How came we a ſhore?
Cloſe by, my Maſter.
But are they (Ariell) ſafe?
Paſt the mid ſeaſon.
My Libertie.
Before the time be out? no more:
No.
I doe not Sir.
No Sir.
Thou haſt: where was ſhe born? ſpeak: tell me:
Sir, in Argier.
I, Sir.
Yes: Caliban her ſonne.
I thanke thee Maſter.
'Tis a villaine Sir, I doe not loue to looke on.
within. There's wood enough within.
My Lord, it ſhall be done.
So ſlaue, hence.
Hark, hark, I heare, the ſtraine of ſtrutting Chanticlere cry cockadidle-dowe.
Alacke, for mercy.
No, as I am a man.
Follow me.
Beſeech you Father.
Hence: hang not on my garments.
To th' ſyllable.
Come follow: ſpeake not for him.
Prethee peace.
He receiues comfort like cold porredge.
The Viſitor will not giue him ore ſo.
Looke, hee's winding vp the watch of his wit, By and by it will ſtrike.
Sir.
One: Tell.
A dollor.
Dolour comes to him indeed, you haue ſpoken truer then you purpos'd.
You haue taken it wiſelier then I meant you ſhould.
Therefore my Lord.
Fie, what a ſpend-thrift is he of his tongue.
I pre-thee ſpare.
Well, I haue done: But yet
He will be talking.
The old Cocke.
The Cockrell.
Done: The wager?
A Laughter.
A match.
Though this Iſland ſeeme to be deſert.
Ha, ha, ha.
So: you'r paid.
Vninhabitable, and almoſt inacceſſible.
Yet
Yet
He could not miſſe't.
It muſt needs be of ſubtle, tender, and delicate temperance.
Temperance was a delicate wench.
I, and a ſubtle, as he moſt learnedly deliuer'd.
The ayre breathes vpon vs here moſt ſweetly.
As if it had Lungs, and rotten ones.
Or, as 'twere perfum'd by a Fen.
Heere is euery thing aduantageous to life.
True, ſaue meanes to liue.
Of that there's none, or little.
The ground indeed is tawny.
With an eye of greene in't.
He miſſes not much.
No: he doth but miſtake the truth totally.
But the rariety of it is, which is indeed almoſt beyond credit.
As many voucht rarieties are.
That our Garments being (as they were) drencht in the Sea, hold notwithſtanding their freſhneſſe and gloſſes, being rather new dy'de then ſtain'd with ſalte water.
If but one of his pockets could ſpeake, would it not ſay he lyes?
I, or very falſely pocket vp his report.
Me thinkes our garments are now as freſh as when we put them on firſt in Affricke, at the marriage of the kings faire daughter Claribel to the king of Tunis.
'Twas a ſweet marriage, and we proſper well in our returne.
Tunis was neuer grac'd before with ſuch a Pa
Not ſince widdow Dido's time.
Widow? A pox o' that: how came that WidDido!
Widdow Dido ſaid you? You make me ſtudy of that: She was of Carthage, not of Tunis.
This Tunis Sir was Carthage.
Carthage?
I aſſure you Carthage.
His word is more then the miraculous Harpe.
He hath rais'd the wall, and houſes too.
What impoſsible matter wil he make eaſy next?
I thinke hee will carry this Iſland home in his pocket, and giue it his ſonne for an Apple.
And ſowing the kernels of it in the Sea, bring forth more Iſlands.
I.
Why in good time.
Sir, we were talking, that our garments ſeeme now as freſh as when we were at Tunis at the marriage of your daughter, who is now Queene.
And the rareſt that ere came there.
Bate (I beſeech you) widdow Dido.
O Widdow Dido? I, Widdow Dido.
Is not Sir my doublet as freſh as the firſt day I wore it? I meane in a ſort.
That ſort was well fiſh'd for.
When I wore it at your daughters marriage.
No, no, hee's gone.
Pre-thee peace.
So is the doer'ſt oth' loſſe.
Very well.
And moſt Chirurgeonly.
Fowle weather?
Very foule.
Had I plantation of this Iſle my Lord.
Hee'd ſow't vvith Nettle-ſeed.
Or dockes, or Mallowes.
And were the King on't, what vvould I do?
Scape being drunke, for want of Wine.
Yet he vvould be King on't.
The latter end of his Common-wealth forgets the beginning.
No marrying 'mong his ſubiects?
None (man) all idle; Whores and knaues,
'Saue his Maieſty.
Long liue Gonzalo.
And do you marke me, Sir?
Pre-thee no more: thou doſt talke nothing to me.
I do vvell beleeue your Highneſſe, and did it to miniſter occaſion to theſe Gentlemen, who are of ſuch ſenſible and nimble Lungs, that they alwayes vſe to laugh at nothing.
'Twas you vve laugh'd at.
Who, in this kind of merry fooling am nothing to you: ſo you may continue, and laugh at nothing ſtill.
What a blow vvas there giuen?
And it had not falne flat-long.
You are Gentlemen of braue mettal: you would lift the Moone out of her ſpheare, if ſhe would continue in it fiue weekes vvithout changing.
We vvould ſo, and then go a Bat-fowling.
Nay good my Lord, be not angry.
No I warrant you, I vvill not aduenture my diſcretion ſo weakly: Will you laugh me aſleepe, for I am very heauy.
Go ſleepe, and heare vs.
Thanke you: Wondrous heauy.
What a ſtrange drowſines poſſeſſes them?
It is the quality o' th' Clymate.
What? art thou waking?
Do you not heare me ſpeake?
Well: I am ſtanding water.
Ile teach you how to flow.
He's gone.
Then tell me, who's the next heire of Naples?
Claribell.
Me thinkes I do.
But for your conſcience.
Then let vs both be ſodaine.
Now, good Angels preſerue the King.
What's the matter?
I heard nothing.
Heard you this Gonzalo?
Lead away.
Here's neither buſh, nor ſhrub to beare off any weather at all: and another Storme brewing, I heare it ſing i th' winde: yond ſame blacke cloud, yond huge one, lookes like a foule bumbard that would ſhed his licquor: if it ſhould thunder, as it did before, I know not where to hide my head: yond ſame cloud cannot chooſe but fall by paile-fuls. What haue we here, a man, or a fiſh? dead or aliue? a fiſh, hee ſmels like a fiſh: a very ancient and fiſh-like ſmell: a kinde of, not of the neweſt poore-Iohn: a ſtrange fiſh: were I in England now (as once I was) and had but this fiſh painted; not a holiday-foole there but would giue a peece of ſiluer: there, would this Monſter, make a man: any ſtrange beaſt there, makes a man: when they will not giue a do it to relieue a lame Begger, they will lay out ten to ſee a dead Indian: Leg'd like a man; and his Finnes like Armes: warme o' my troth: I doe now let looſe my o
Doe not torment me: oh.
What's the matter?
Haue we diuels here?
Doe you put trickes vpon's with Saluages, and Men of Inde? ha? I haue not ſcap'd drowning, to be afeard now of your foure legges: for it hath bin ſaid; as proStephano breathes at' noſtrils.
The Spirit torments me: oh.
This is ſome Monſter of the Iſle, with foure legs; who hath got (as I take it) an Ague: where the diuell ſhould he learne our language? I will giue him ſome reNaples with him, he's a Pre
Doe not torment me 'prethee: I'le bring my wood home faſter.
He's in his fit now; and doe's not talke after the wiſeſt; hee ſhall taſte of my Bottle: if hee haue neuer drunke wine afore, it will goe neere to remoue his Fit: if I can recouer him, and keepe him tame, I will not take too much for him; hee ſhall pay for him that hath him, and that ſoundly.
Thou do'ſt me yet but little hurt; thou wilt aProſper workes vpon thee.
Come on your wayes: open your mouth: here is that which will giue language to you Cat; open your mouth; this will ſhake your ſhaking, I can tell you, and that ſoundly: you cannot tell who's your friend; open your chaps againe.
Foure legges and two voyces; a moſt delicate Monſter his forward voyce now is to ſpeake well of his friend; his backward voice, is to vtter ſoule ſpeeches, and to detract: if all the wine in my bottle will recouer him, I will helpe his Ague: Come: Amen, I will poure ſome in thy other mouth.
Stephano.
Doth thy other mouth call me? Mercy, mercy: This is a diuell, and no Monſter: I will leaue him, I haue no long Spoone.
Stephano: if thou beeſt Stephano, touch me, and ſpeake to me: for I am Trinculo; be not afeard, thy good friend Trinculo.
If thou bee'ſt Trinculo: come foorth: I'le pull thee by the leſſer legges: if any be Trinculo's legges, theſe are they: Thou art very Trinculo indeede: how cam'ſt thou to be the ſiege of this Moone-calfe? Can he vent Trinculo's?
I tooke him to be kil'd with a thunder-ſtrok; but art thou not dround Stephano: I hope now thou art not dround: Is the Storme ouer-blowne? I hid mee vnder the dead Moone-Calfes Gaberdine, for feare of the Storme: And art thou liuing Stephano? O Stephano, two Neapolitanes ſcap'd?
'Prethee doe not turne me about, my ſtomacke is not conſtant.
Theſe be fine things, and if they be not ſpright's: that's a braue God, and beares Celeſtiall liquor: I will kneele to him.
How did'ſt thou ſcape?
How cam'ſt thou hither?
Sweare by this Bottle how thou cam'ſt hither: I eſcap'd vpon a But of Sacke, which the Saylors heaued o' re
I'le ſweare vpon that Bottle, to be thy true ſub
Heere: ſweare then how thou eſcap'dſt.
Swom aſhore (man) like a Ducke: I can ſwim like a Ducke i'le be ſworne.
O Stephano, ha'ſt any more of this?
Ha'ſt thou not dropt from heauen?
Out o' th Moone I doe aſſure thee. I was the Man ith' Moone, when time was.
Come, ſweare to that: kiſſe the Booke: I will furniſh it anon with new Contents: Sweare.
Ile ſhew thee euery fertill ynch 'oth Iſland: and I will kiſſe thy foote: I prethee be my god.
By this light, a moſt perfidious, and drunken Monſter, when's god's a ſleepe he'll rob his Bottle.
Ile kiſſe thy foot. Ile ſweare my ſelfe thy Subiect.
Come on then: downe and ſweare.
I ſhall laugh my ſelfe to death at this puppi-hea
Come, kiſſe.
A moſt rediculous Monſter, to make a wonder of a poore drunkard.
I' prethee let me bring thee where Crabs grow; and I with my long nayles will digge thee pig-nuts; ſhow thee a Iayes neſt, and inſtruct thee how to ſnare the nimble Marmazet: I'le bring thee to cluſtring Philbirts, and ſometimes I'le get thee young Scamels from the Rocke: Wilt thou goe with me?
I pre'thee now lead the way without any more talking. Trinculo, the King, and all our company elſe being dround, wee will inherit here: Here; beare my Bottle: Fellow Trinculo; we'll fill him by and by a
Farewell Maſter; farewell, farewell.
A howling Monſter: a drunken Monſter.
You looke wearily.
Do you loue me?
VVherefore weepe you?
My husband then?
A thouſand, thouſand.
Tell not me, when the But is out we will drinke water, not a drop before; therefore beare vp, & boord em' Seruant Monſter, drinke to me.
Seruant Monſter? the folly of this Iland, they ſay there's but fiue vpon this Iſle; we are three of them, if th' other two be brain'd like vs, the State totters.
Drinke ſeruant Monſter when I bid thee, thy eies are almoſt ſet in thy head.
VVhere ſhould they bee ſet elſe? hee were a braue Monſter indeede if they were ſet in his taile.
My man-Monſter hath drown'd his tongue in ſacke: for my part the Sea cannot drowne mee, I ſwam ere I could recouer the ſhore, fiue and thirtie Leagues off and on, by this light thou ſhalt bee my Lieutenant Monſter, or my Standard.
Your Lieutenant if you lift, hee's no ſtandard.
VVeel not run Monſieur Monſter.
Nor go neither: but you'l lie like dogs, and yet ſay nothing neither.
Moone-calfe, ſpeak once in thy life, if thou beeſt a good Moone-calfe.
Thou lieſt moſt ignorant Monſter, I am in caſe to iuſtle a Conſtable: why, thou deboſh'd Fiſh thou, was there euer man a Coward, that hath drunk ſo much Sacke as I to day? wilt thou tell a monſtrous lie, being but halfe a Fiſh, and halfe a Monſter?
Loe, how he mockes me, wilt thou let him my Lord?
Lord, quoth he? that a Monſter ſhould be ſuch a Naturall?
Loe, loe againe: bite him to death I prethee.
Trinculo, keepe a good tongue in your head: If you proue a mutineere, the next Tree: the poore Mon
I thanke my noble Lord. Wilt thou be pleas'd to hearken once againe to the ſuite I made to thee?
Thou lyeſt.
Why, I ſaid nothing.
Mum then, and no more: proceed.
That's moſt certaine.
Thou ſhalt be Lord of it, and Ile ſerue thee.
Thou lieſt, thou canſt not.
Didſt thou not ſay he lyed?
Thou lieſt.
Ha, ha, ha.
Now forward with your Tale: prethee ſtand further off.
Stand farther: Come proceede.
Is it ſo braue a Laſſe?
Monſter, I will kill this man: his daughter and I will be King and Queene, ſaue our Graces: and Trinculo, and thy ſelfe ſhall be Vice-royes:
Doſt thou like the plot Trinculo?
Excellent.
I on mine honour.
This will I tell my Maſter.
That's not the tune.
What is this ſame?
This is the tune of our Catch, plaid by the pic
O forgiue me my ſinnes.
Art thou affeard?
No Monſter, not I.
When Proſpero is deſtroy'd.
The next aduantage will we take throughly.
I ſay to night: no more.
What harmony is this? my good friends, harke.
Maruellous ſweet Muſicke.
Giue vs kind keepers, heaue
Praiſe in departing.
Not I.
Ile be thy Second.
Follow, I pray you.
What would my potent maſter? here I am.
Preſently?
I: with a twincke.
Well: I conceiue.
Come with a thought; I thank thee Ariell: come.
Thy thoughts I cleaue to, what's thy pleaſure?
Spirit: We muſt prepare to meet with Caliban.
Say again, where didſt thou leaue theſe varlots?
I go, I goe.
Pray you tread ſoftly, that the blinde Mole may not heare a foot fall: we now are neere his Cell.
Thou wert but a loſt Monſter.
I, but to looſe our bottles in the Poole.
There is not onely diſgrace and diſhonor in that Monſter, but an infinite loſſe.
Let it alone thou foole, it is but traſh.
Oh, ho, Monſter: wee know what belongs to a frippery, O King Stephano.
Put off that gowne (Trinculo) by this hand Ile haue that gowne.
Thy grace ſhall haue it.
Be you quiet (Monſter) Miſtris line, is not this my Ierkin? now is the Ierkin vnder the line: now Ier
Doe, doe; we ſteale by lyne and leuell, and't like your grace.
I thank thee for that ieſt; heer's a garment for't: Wit ſhall not goe vn-rewarded while I am King of this Country: Steale by line and leuell, is an excellent paſſe of pate: there's another garment for't.
Monſter, come put ſome Lime vpon your fin
Monſter, lay to your fingers: helpe to beare this away, where my hogſhead of wine is, or Ile turne you out of my kingdome: goe to, carry this.
And this.
I, and this.
Hey Mountaine, hey.
Siluer: there it goes, Siluer.
Harke, they rore.
Doſt thou thinke ſo, Spirit?
Mine would, Sir, were I humane.
Ile fetch them, Sir.
The Diuell ſpeakes in him:
I am woe for't, Sir.
You the like loſſe?
Sweet Lord, you play me falſe.
A moſt high miracle.
'Tis new to thee.
I ſay Amen, Gonzallo.
My trickſey Spirit.
Was't well done?
Brauely (my diligence) thou ſhalt be free.
If theſe be true ſpies which I weare in my head, here's a goodly ſight.
I ſhall be pincht to death.
Is not this Stephano, my drunken Butler?
Who how now Stephano?
O touch me not, I am not Stephano, but a Cramp.
You'ld be King o' the Iſle, Sirha?
I ſhould haue bin a ſore one then.
This is a ſtrange thing as ere I look'd on.
Goe to, away.
Hence, and beſtow your luggage where you found it.
Or ſtole it rather.
And on a loue-booke pray for my ſucceſſe?
Vpon ſome booke I loue, I'le pray for thee.
Ouer the Bootes? nay giue me not the Boots.
No, I will not; for it boots thee not.
What?
So, by your circumſtance, you call me foole.
So, by your circumſtance, I feare you'll proue.
'Tis Loue you cauill at, I am not Loue.
And thither will I bring thee Valentine.
All happineſſe be chance to thee in Millaine.
As much to you at home: and ſo farewell.
Sir Protheus: 'ſaue you: ſaw you my Maſter?
But now he parted hence to embarque for Millain.
You conclude that my Maſter is a Shepheard then, and I Sheepe?
I doe.
Why then my hornes are his hornes, whether I wake or ſleepe.
A ſilly anſwere, and fitting well a Sheepe.
This proues me ſtill a Sheepe.
True: and thy Maſter a Shepheard.
Nay, that I can deny by a circumſtance.
It ſhall goe hard but ile proue it by another.
The Shepheard ſeekes the Sheepe, and not the Sheepe the Shepheard; but I ſeeke my Maſter, and my Maſter ſeekes not me: therefore I am no Sheepe.
The Sheepe for fodder follow the Shepheard, the Shepheard for foode followes not the Sheepe: thou for wages followeſt thy Maſter, thy Maſter for wages followes not thee: therefore thou art a Sheepe.
Such another proofe will make me cry baâ.
But do'ſt thou heare: gau'ſt thou my Letter to Iulia?
I Sir: I (a loſt-Mutton) gaue your Letter to her (a lac'd-Mutton) and ſhe (a lac'd-Mutton) gaue mee (a loſt-Mutton) nothing for my labour.
Here's too ſmall a Paſture for ſuch ſtore of Muttons.
If the ground be ouer-charg'd, you were beſt ſticke her.
Nay, in that you are aſtray: 'twere beſt pound you.
Nay Sir, leſſe then a pound ſhall ſerue me for car
You miſtake; I meane the pound, a Pinfold.
But what ſaid ſhe?
I.
Nod-I, why that's noddy.
And that ſet together is noddy.
Now you haue taken the paines to ſet it toge
No, no, you ſhall haue it for bearing the letter.
Well, I perceiue I muſt be faine to beare with you.
Why Sir, how doe you beare with me?
Beſhrew me, but you haue a quicke wit.
And yet it cannot ouer-take your ſlow purſe.
Come, come, open the matter in briefe; what ſaid ſhe.
Open your purſe, that the money, and the matter may be both at once deliuered.
Well Sir: here is for your paines: what ſaid ſhe?
Truely Sir, I thinke you'll hardly win her.
Why? could'ſt thou perceiue ſo much from her?
What ſaid ſhe, nothing?
I Madam, ſo you ſtumble not on heedfully.
What thinkſt thou of the faire ſir Eglamoure?
What think'ſt thou of the rich Mercatio?
Well of his wealth; but of himſelfe, ſo, ſo.
What think'ſt thou of the gentle Protheus?
Lord, Lord: to ſee what folly raignes in vs.
How now? what meanes this paſſion at his name?
Why not on Protheus, as of all the reſt?
Then thus: of many good, I thinke him beſt.
Your reaſon?
And would'ſt thou haue me caſt my loue on him?
I: if you thought your loue not caſt away.
Why he, of all the reſt, hath neuer mou'd me.
Yet he, of all the reſt, I thinke beſt loues ye.
His little ſpeaking, ſhewes his loue but ſmall.
Fire that's cloſeſt kept, burnes moſt of all.
They doe not loue, that doe not ſhew their loue.
Oh, they loue leaſt, that let men know their loue.
I would I knew his minde.
Peruſe this paper Madam.
To Iulia: ſay, from whom?
That the Contents will ſhew.
Say, ſay: who gaue it thee?
To plead for loue, deſerues more fee, then hate.
Will ye be gon?
That you may ruminate.
What would your Ladiſhip?
Is't neere dinner time?
Nothing.
Why didſt thou ſtoope then?
To take a paper vp, that I let fall.
And is that paper nothing?
Nothing concerning me.
Then let it lye, for thoſe that it concernes.
Some loue of yours, hath writ to you in Rime.
It is too heauy for ſo light a tune.
Heauy? belike it hath ſome burden then?
I: and melodious were it, would you ſing it,
And why not you?
I cannot reach ſo high.
You doe not?
No (Madam) tis too ſharpe.
You (Minion) are too ſaucie.
The meane is dround with you vnruly baſe.
Indeede I bid the baſe for Protheus.
Madam: dinner is ready: and your father ſtaies.
Well, let vs goe.
What, ſhall theſe papers lye, like Tel-tales here?
If you reſpect them; beſt to take them vp.
I ſee you haue a months minde to them.
Come, come, wilt pleaſe you goe.
'Twas of his Nephew Protheus, your Sonne.
Why? what of him?
I know it well.
Oh heauenly Iulia.
How now? What Letter are you reading there?
Lend me the Letter: Let me ſee what newes.
And how ſtand you affected to his wiſh?
Sir, your Gloue.
Not mine: my Gloues are on.
Why then this may be yours: for this is but one.
Madam Siluia: Madam Siluia.
How now Sirha?
Shee is not within hearing Sir.
Why ſir, who had you call her?
Your worſhip ſ
Well: you'll ſtill be too forward.
And yet I was laſt chidden for being too ſlow.
Goe to, ſir, tell me: do you know Madam Siluia?
Shee that your worſhip loues?
Why, how know you that I am in loue?
Marry by theſe ſpeciall markes: firſt, you haue learn'd (like Sir Protheus) to wreath your Armes like a Male-content: to relliſh a Loue-ſong, like a Robin-red-breaſt: to walke alone like one that had the peſtilence: to ſigh, like a Schoole-boy that had loſt his A. B. C. to weep like a yong wench that had buried her Grandam: to faſt, like one that takes diet: to watch, like one that feares robbing: to ſpeake puling, like a beggar at Hal
Are all theſe things perceiu'd in me?
They are all perceiu'd without ye.
Without me? they cannot.
Without you? nay, that's certaine: for with
But tell me: do'ſt thou know my Lady Siluia?
Shee that you gaze on ſo, as ſhe ſits at ſupper?
Haſt thou obſeru'd that? euen ſhe I meane.
Why ſir, I know her not.
Do'ſt thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet know'ſt her not?
Is ſhe not hard-fauour'd, ſir?
Not ſo faire (boy) as well fauour'd.
Sir, I know that well enough.
What doſt thou know?
That ſhee is not ſo faire, as (of you) well-fa
That's becauſe the one is painted, and the o
How painted? and how out of count?
Marry ſir, ſo painted to make her faire, that no man counts of her beauty.
How eſteem'ſt thou me? I account of her beauty.
You neuer ſaw her ſince ſhe was deform'd.
How long hath ſhe beene deform'd?
Euer ſince you lou'd her.
If you loue her, you cannot ſee her.
Why?
Becauſe Loue is blinde: O that you had mine eyes, or your owne eyes had the lights they were wont to haue, when you chidde at Sir Protheus, for going vn
What ſhould I ſee then?
Your owne preſent folly, and her paſſing de
True ſir: I was in loue with my bed, I thanke you, you ſwing'd me for my loue, which makes mee the
In concluſion, I ſtand affected to her.
I would you were ſet, ſo your affection would ceaſe.
And haue you?
I haue.
Are they not lamely writt?
Madam & Miſtres, a thouſand good-morrows.
Oh, 'giue ye-good-ev'n: heer's a million of manners.
Sir Valentine, and ſeruant, to you two thouſand.
He ſhould giue her intereſt: & ſhe giues it him.
I thanke you (gentle Seruant) 'tis very Clerkly-done.
Perchance you think too much of ſo much pains?
No (Madam) ſo it ſteed you I will write (Pleaſe you command) a thouſand times as much: And yet —
And yet you will: and yet, another yet.
Madam, they are for you.
Pleaſe you, Ile write your Ladiſhip another.
If it pleaſe me, (Madam?) what then?
Nay: I was riming: 'tis you yt haue the reaſon.
To doe what?
To be a Spokeſ-man from Madam Siluia.
To whom?
To your ſelfe: why, ſhe woes you by a figure.
What figure?
By a Letter, I ſhould ſay.
Why ſhe hath not writ to me?
No, beleeue me.
She gaue me none, except an angry word.
Why ſhe hath giuen you a Letter.
That's the Letter I writ to her friend.
And yt letter hath ſhe deliuer'd, & there an end.
I would it were no worſe.
I haue dyn'd.
I, but hearken ſir: though the Cameleon Loue can feed on the ayre, I am one that am nouriſh'd by my victuals; and would faine haue meate: oh bee not like your Miſtreſſe, be moued, be moued.
Haue patience, gentle Iulia:
I muſt where is no remedy.
When poſſibly I can, I will returne.
And ſeale the bargaine with a holy kiſſe.
Sir Protheus: you are ſtaid for.
Nay, 'twill bee this howre ere I haue done weeping: all the kinde of the Launce
haue this very fault: I haue receiu'd my proportion, like the prodigious
Launce, away, away: a Boord: thy Maſter is ſhip'd, and thou art to poſt after with oares; what's the matter? why weep'ſt thou man? away aſſe, you'l looſe the Tide, if you tarry any longer.
It is no matter if the tide were loſt, for it is the vnkindeſt Tide, that euer any man tide.
What's the vnkindeſt tide?
Why, he that's tide here, Crab my dog.
Tut, man: I meane thou'lt looſe the flood, and in looſing the flood, looſe thy voyage, and in looſing thy voyage, looſe thy Maſter, and in looſing thy Maſter, looſe thy ſeruice, and in looſing thy ſeruice: — why doſt thou ſtop my mouth?
For feare thou ſhouldſt looſe thy tongue.
Where ſhould I looſe my tongue?
In thy Tale.
In thy Taile.
Looſe the Tide, and the voyage, and the Ma
Come: come away man, I was ſent to call thee.
Sir: call me what thou dar'ſt.
Wilt thou goe?
Well, I will goe.
Seruant.
Miſtris.
Maſter, Sir Thurio frownes on you.
I Boy, it's for loue.
Not of you.
Of my Miſtreſſe then.
'Twere good you knockt him.
Seruant, you are ſad.
Indeed, Madam, I ſeeme ſo.
Seeme you that you are not?
Hap'ly I doe.
So doe Counterfeyts.
So doe you.
What ſeeme I that I am not?
Wiſe.
What inſtance of the contrary?
Your folly.
And how quoat you my folly?
I quoat it in your Ierkin.
My Ierkin is a doublet.
Well then, Ile double your folly.
How?
What, angry, Sir Thurio, do you change colour?
Giue him leaue, Madam, he is a kind of Camelion.
That hath more minde to feed on your bloud, then liue in your ayre.
You haue ſaid Sir.
I Sir, and done too for this time.
I know it wel ſir, you alwaies end ere you begin.
A fine volly of words, gentleme
'Tis indeed, Madam, we thank the giuer.
Who is that Seruant?
Sir, if you ſpend word for word with me, I ſhall make your wit bankrupt.
Know ye Don Antonio, your Countriman?
Hath he not a Sonne?
Should I haue wiſh'd a thing, it had beene he.
Nay ſure, I thinke ſhe holds them priſoners ſtil.
Why Lady, Loue hath twenty paire of eyes.
They ſay that Loue hath not an eye at all.
Haue done, haue done: here comes ye gentleman.
Too low a Miſtres for ſo high a ſeruant.
My dutie will I boaſt of, nothing elſe.
Ile die on him that ſaies ſo but your ſelfe.
That you are welcome?
That you are worthleſſe.
Madam, my Lord your father wold ſpeak with you.
Wee'll both attend vpon your Ladiſhip.
Now tell me: how do al from whence you came?
Your frends are wel, & haue the
And how doe yours?
I left them all in health.
How does your Lady? & how thriues your loue?
Euen She; and is ſhe not a heauenly Saint?
No; But ſhe is an earthly Paragon.
Call her diuine.
I will not flatter her.
O flatter me: for Loue delights in praiſes.
Except my Miſtreſſe.
Haue I not reaſon to prefer mine owne?
Why
Ʋalentine, what Bragadiſme is this?
Then let her alone.
But ſhe loues you?
Will you make haſte?
Launce, by mine honeſty welcome to Padua.
Forſweare not thy ſelfe, ſweet youth, for I am not welcome. I reckon this alwaies, that a man is neuer vndon till hee be hang'd, nor neuer welcome to a place, till ſome certaine ſhot be paid, and the Hoſteſſe ſay wel
Come-on you mad-cap: Ile to the Ale-houſe with you preſently; where, for one ſhot of fiue pence, thou ſhalt haue fiue thouſand welcomes: But ſirha, how did thy Maſter part with Madam Iulia?
Marry after they cloas'd in earneſt, they parted very fairely in ieſt.
But ſhall ſhe marry him?
No.
How then? ſhall he marry her?
No, neither.
What, are they broken?
No; they are both as whole as a fiſh.
Why then, how ſtands the matter with them?
Marry thus, when it ſtands well with him, it ſtands well with her.
What an aſſe art thou, I vnderſtand thee not.
What thou ſaiſt?
I, and what I do too: looke thee, Ile but leane, and my ſtaffe vnderſtands me.
It ſtands vnder thee indeed.
Why, ſtand-vnder: and vnder-ſtand is all one.
But tell me true, wil't be a match?
Aske my dogge, if he ſay I, it will: if hee ſay no, it will: if hee ſhake his taile, and ſay nothing, it will.
The concluſion is then, that it will.
Thou ſhalt neuer get ſuch a ſecret from me, but by a parable.
'Tis well that I get it ſo: but Launce, how ſaiſt thou that that my maſter is become a notable Louer?
I neuer knew him otherwiſe.
Then how?
A notable Lubber: as thou reporteſt him to bee.
Why, thou whorſon Aſſe, thou miſtak'ſt me,
Why Foole, I meant not thee, I meant thy Maſter.
I tell thee, my Maſter is become a hot Louer.
Why, I tell thee, I care not, though hee burne himſelfe in Loue. If thou wilt goe with me to the Ale-houſe: if not, thou art an Hebrew, a Iew, and not worth the name of a Chriſtian.
Why?
Becauſe thou haſt not ſo much charity in thee as to goe to the Ale with a Chriſtian: Wilt thou goe?
At thy ſeruice.
Alas, the way is weariſome and long.
Better forbeare, till Protheus make returne.
But in what habit will you goe along?
Why then your Ladiſhip muſt cut your haire.
What faſhion (Madam) ſhall I make your bree
You muſt needs haue the
Out, out, (Lucetta) that wilbe illfauourd.
If you thinke ſo, then ſtay at home, and go not.
Nay, that I will not.
All theſe are ſeruants to deceitfull men.
Pray heau'n he proue ſo when you come to him.
Adiew, my Lord, Sir Valentine is comming.
Sir Valentine, whether away ſo faſt?
Be they of much import?
What would your Grace haue me to do in this?
But ſhe did ſcorne a preſent that I ſent her,
Why then I would reſort to her by night.
What letts but one may enter at her window?
When would you vſe it? pray ſir, tell me that.
By ſeauen a clock, ile get you ſuch a Ladder.
A cloake as long as thine will ſerue the turne?
I my good Lord.
Why any cloake will ſerue the turn (my Lord)
My thoughts do harbour with my Siluianightly,And ſlaues they are to me, that ſend them flying. Oh, could their Maſter come, and goe as lightly, Himſelfe would lodge where (ſenceles) they are lying. My Herald Thoughts, in thy pure boſome reſt-them, While I (their King) that thither them importune Doe curſe the grace, that with ſuch grace hath bleſt them, Becauſe my ſelfe doe want my ſeruants fortune. I curſe my ſelfe, for they are ſent by me, That they ſhould harbour where their Lord ſhould be.
Run (boy) run, run, and ſeeke him out.
So-hough, Soa hough —
What ſeeſt thou?
Valentine?
No.
Who then? his Spirit?
Neither,
What then?
Nothing.
Can nothing ſpeake? Maſter, ſhall I ſtrike?
Who wouldſt thou ſtrike?
Nothing.
Villaine, forbeare.
Why Sir, Ile ſtrike nothing: I pray you.
Sirha, I ſay forbeare: friend Valentine, a word.
Is Siluia dead?
No, Valentine.
No,
Ʋalentine.
Sir, there is a proclamation, yt you are vaniſhed.
Goe ſirha, finde him out: Come
Ʋalentine.
Oh my deere Siluia; hapleſſe Valentine.
I am but a foole, looke you, and yet I haue the wit to thinke my Maſter is a kinde of a knaue: but that's all one, if he be but one knaue: He liues not now that knowes me to be in loue, yet I am in loue, but a Teeme of horſe ſhall not plucke that from me: nor who 'tis I loue: and yet 'tis a woman; but what woman, I will not tell my ſelfe: and yet 'tis a Milke-maid: yet 'tis not a maid: for ſhee hath had Goſſips: yet 'tis a maid, for ſhe is her Maſters maid, and ſerues for wages. Shee hath more qualities then a Water-Spaniell, which is much in a bare Chriſtian: Heere is the Cate-log of her Condition. Inprimis. Shee can fetch and carry: why a horſe can doe no more; nay, a horſe cannot fetch, but onely carry, therefore is ſhee better then a Iade. Item. She can milke, looke you, a ſweet vertue in a maid with cleane hands.
How now Signior Launce? what newes with your Maſterſhip?
With my Maſterſhip? why, it is at Sea:
Well, your old vice ſtill: miſtake the word: what newes then in your paper?
The black'ſt newes that euer thou heard'ſt.
Why man? how blacke?
Why, as blacke as Inke.
Let me read them?
Fie on thee Iolt-head, thou canſt not read.
Thou lyeſt: I can.
I will try thee: tell me this: who begot thee?
Marry, the ſon of my Grand-father.
Oh illiterate loyterer
Come foole, come: try me in thy paper.
There: and S. Nicholas be thy ſpeed.
Inprimis ſhe can milke.
I that ſhe can.
Item, ſhe brewes good Ale.
And thereof comes the prouerbe: (Bleſſing of your heart, you brew good Ale.)
Item, ſhe can ſowe.
That's as much as to ſay (Can ſhe ſo?)
Item ſhe can knit.
Item, ſhe can waſh and ſcoure.
A ſpeciall vertue: for then ſhee neede not be waſh'd, and ſcowr'd.
Item, ſhe can ſpin.
Then may I ſet the world on wheeles, when ſhe can ſpin for her liuing.
Item, ſhe hath many nameleſſe vertues.
That's as much as to ſay Baſtard-vertues: that indeede know not their fathers; and therefore haue no names.
Here follow her vices.
Cloſe at the heeles of her vertues.
Item, ſhee is not to be faſting in reſpect of her breath.
Well: that fault may be mended with a break
Item, ſhe hath a ſweet mouth.
That makes amends for her ſoure breath.
Item, ſhe doth talke in her ſleepe.
It's no matter for that; ſo ſhee ſleepe not in her talke.
Item, ſhe is ſlow in words.
Item, ſhe is proud.
Item, ſhe hath no teeth.
I care not for that neither: becauſe I loue cruſts.
Item, ſhe is curſt.
Well: the beſt is, ſhe hath no teeth to bite.
Item, ſhe will often praiſe her liquor.
Item, ſhe is too liberall.
Of her tongue ſhe cannot; for that's writ downe ſhe is ſlow of: of her purſe, ſhee ſhall not, for that ile keepe ſhut: Now, of another thing ſhee may, and that cannot I helpe. Well, proceede.
Item, ſhee hath more haire then wit, and more faults then haires, and more wealth then faults.
Stop there: Ile haue her: ſhe was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that laſt Article: rehearſe that once more.
Item, ſhe hath more haire then wit.
More haire then wit: it may be ile proue it: The couer of the ſalt, hides the ſalt, and therefore it is more then the ſalt; the haire that couers the wit, is more then the wit; for the greater hides the leſſe: What's next?
And more faults then haires.
That's monſtrous: oh that that were out.
And more wealth then faults.
What then?
Why then, will I tell thee, that thy Maſter ſtaies for thee at the North gate.
For me?
For thee? I, who art thou? he hath ſtaid for a bet
And muſt I goe to him?
Thou muſt run to him; for thou haſt ſtaid ſo long, that going will ſcarce ſerue the turne.
Why didſt not tell me ſooner? 'pox of your loue Letters.
Now will he be ſwing'd for reading my Letter; An vnmannerly ſlaue, that will thruſt himſelfe into ſe
Gon, my good Lord.
My daughter takes his going grieuouſly?
A little time (my Lord) will kill that griefe.
I doe my Lord.
She did my Lord, when
Ʋalentine was here.
I, but ſhe'll thinke, that it is ſpoke in hate.
Then you muſt vndertake to ſlander him.
I, much is the force of heauen-bred Poeſie.
This diſcipline, ſhowes thou haſt bin in loue.
About it Gentlemen.
Euen now about it, I will pardon you.
Fellowes, ſtand faſt: I ſee a paſſenger.
If there be ten, ſhrinke not, but down with 'em.
My friends.
That's not ſo, ſir: we are your enemies.
Peace: we'll heare him.
I by my beard will we: for he is a proper man.
Whether trauell you?
To Verona.
Whence came you?
From Millaine.
Haue you long ſoiourn'd there?
What, were you baniſh'd thence?
I was.
For what offence?
I was, and held me glad of ſuch a doome.
Haue you the Tongues?
We'll haue him: Sirs, a word.
Peace villaine.
Tell vs this: haue you any thing to take to?
Nothing but my fortune.
But if thou ſcorne our curteſie, thou dyeſt.
Thou ſhalt not liue, to brag what we haue of
How now, ſir Protheus, are you crept before vs?
I, but I hope, Sir, that you loue not here.
Sir, but I doe: or elſe I would be hence.
Who, Siluia?
I, Siluia, for your ſake.
Marry (mine Hoſt) becauſe I cannot be merry.
Come, we'll haue you merry: ile bring you where you ſhall heare Muſique, and ſee the Gentleman that you ask'd for.
But ſhall I heare him ſpeake.
I that you ſhall.
That will be Muſique.
Harke, harke.
Is he among theſe?
I: but peace, let's heare'm.
You miſtake: the Muſitian likes me not.
Why, my pretty youth?
He plaies falſe (father.)
How, out of tune on the ſtrings.
You haue a quicke eare.
I, I would I were deafe: it makes me haue a ſlow heart.
I perceiue you delight not in Muſique.
Not a whit, when it iars ſo.
Harke, what fine change is in the Muſique.
I: that change is the ſpight.
You would haue them alwaies play but one thing.
Where is Launce?
Gone to ſeeke his dog, which to morrow, by his Maſters command, hee muſt carry for a preſent to his Lady.
Peace, ſtand aſide, the company parts.
Where meete we?
At Saint Gregories well.
Farewell.
Madam: good eu'n to your Ladiſhip.
Sir Protheus, as I take it.
Sir Protheus (gentle Lady) and your Seruant.
What's your will?
That I may compaſſe yours.
I likewiſe heare that Valentine is dead.
Sweet Lady, let me take it from the earth.
He heard not that.
Hoſt, will you goe?
By my hallidome, I was faſt aſleepe.
Pray you, where lies Sir Protheus?
Who cals?
Sir Eglamore, a thouſand times good morrow.
This euening comming.
Where ſhall I meete you?
Good morrow, kinde Sir Eglamoure.
When a mans ſeruant ſhall play the Curre with him (looke you) it goes hard: one that I brought vp of a puppy: one that I ſau'd from drowning, when three or foure of his blinde brothers and ſiſters went to it: I haue taught him (euen as one would ſay preciſely, thus I would teach a dog) I was ſent to deliuer him, as a preSiluia, from my Maſter; and I came no ſooner into the dyning-chamber, but he ſteps me to her Trencher, and ſteales her Capons-leg: O, 'tis a foule thing, when a Cur cannot keepe himſelfe in all compaSiluia: did
In what you pleaſe, ile doe what I can.
Marry Sir, I carried Miſtris Siluia the dogge you bad me.
And what ſaies ſhe to my little Iewell?
Marry ſhe ſaies your dog was a cur, and tels you curriſh thanks is good enough for ſuch a preſent.
But ſhe receiu'd my dog?
What, didſt thou offer her this from me?
Not ſo: I thinke ſhe liues.
Alas.
Why do'ſt thou cry alas?
I cannot chooſe but pitty her.
Wherefore ſhould'ſt thou pitty her?
What would you with her, if that I be ſhe?
From whom?
From my Maſter, Sir Protheus, Madam.
Oh: he ſends you for a Picture?
I, Madam.
I pray thee let me looke on that againe.
It may not be: good Madam pardon me.
Madam, he ſends your Ladiſhip this Ring.
She thankes you.
What ſai'ſt thou?
Do'ſt thou know her?
Belike ſhe thinks that Protheus hath forſook her?
I thinke ſhe doth: and that's her cauſe of ſorrow
Is ſhe not paſſing faire?
How tall was ſhe?
Sir Protheus, what ſaies Siluia to my ſuit?
What? that my leg is too long?
No, that it is too little.
Ile weare a Boote, to make it ſomewhat roun
But loue will not be ſpurd to what it loath
What ſaies ſhe to my face?
She ſaies it is a faire one.
Nay then the wanton lyes: my face is blacke.
How likes ſhe my diſcourſe?
Ill, when you talke of war.
But well, when I diſcourſe of loue and peace.
But better indeede, when you hold you peace.
What ſayes ſhe to my valour?
Oh Sir, ſhe makes no doubt of that.
She needes not, when ſhe knowes it cowardize.
What ſaies ſhe to my birth?
That you are well deriu'd.
True: from a Gentleman, to a foole.
Conſiders ſhe my Poſſeſſions?
Oh, I: and pitties them.
Wherefore?
That ſuch an Aſſe ſhould owe them.
That they are out by Leaſe.
Here comes the Duke.
Not I.
Nor I.
Saw you my daughter?
Neither.
Come, bring her away.
Where is the Gentleman that was with her?
O Valentine: this I endure for thee.
O miſerable, vnhappy that I am.
By thy approach thou mak'ſt me moſt vnhappy.
And me, when he approcheth to your preſence
All men but Protheus.
Oh heauen.
Ile force thee yeeld to my deſire.
Ʋalentine.
Oh me vnhappy.
Looke to the Boy.
O good ſir, my maſter charg'd me to deliuer a ring to Madam Siluia: wc (out of my neglect) was neuer done.
Where is that ring? boy?
Heere 'tis
How? Iulia?
Beare witnes (heauen) I haue my wiſh for euer.
And I mine.
A prize: a prize: a prize.
Sir Valentine?
Yonder is Siluia: and Siluia's mine.
I grant it (for thine owne) what ere it be.
I think the Boy hath grace in him, he bluſhes.
I warrant you (my Lord) more grace, then Boy.
What meane you by that ſaying?
Hugh, perſwade me not: I will make a Star-Chamber matter of it, if hee were twenty Sir Iohn Falſtoffs, he ſhall not abuſe Robert Shallow Eſquire.
In the County of Gloceſter, Iuſtice of Peace and Coram.
I (Coſen Slender) and Cuſt-alorum.
I, and Rato lorum too; and a Gentleman borne (Maſter Parſon) who writes himſelfe Armigero, in any Bill, Warrant, Quittance, or Obligation, Armigero.
I that I doe, and haue done any time theſe three hundred yeeres.
All his ſucceſſors (gone before him) hath don't: and all his Anceſtors (that come after him) may: they may giue the dozen white Luces in their Coate.
It is an olde Coate.
The dozen white Lowſes doe become an old Coat well: it agrees well paſſant: It is a familiar beaſt to man, and ſignifies Loue.
The Luſe is the freſh-fiſh, the ſalt-fiſh, is an old Coate.
I may quarter (Coz).
You may, by marrying.
It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
Not a whit.
Yes per-lady: if he ha's a quarter of your coat, there is but three Skirts for your ſelfe, in my ſimple conIohn Falſtaffe haue committed diſparagements vnto you, I am of the Church and will be glad to do my beneuolence, to make attone
The Councell ſhall heare it, it is a Riot.
It is not meet the Councell heare a Riot: there is no feare of Got in a Riot: The Councell (looke you) ſhall deſire to heare the feare of Got, and not to heare a Riot: take your viza-ments in that.
Ha; o' my life, if I were yong againe, the ſword ſhould end it.
It is petter that friends is the ſword, and end it: and there is alſo another deuice in my praine, which peraduenture prings goot diſcretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to Maſter Thomas Page, which is pretty virginity.
Miſtris Anne Page? ſhe has browne haire, and ſpeakes ſmall like a woman.
It is that ferry perſon for all the orld, as iuſt as you will deſire, and ſeuen hundred pounds of Moneyes, and Gold, and Siluer, is her Grand-ſire vpon his deaths-bed, (Got deliuer to a ioyfull reſurrections) giue, when ſhe is able to ouertake ſeuenteene yeeres old. It were a goot motion, if we leaue our pribbles and prabbles, and deſire a marriage betweene Maſter Abraham, and Miſtris Anne Page.
Did her Grand-ſire leaue her ſeauen hundred pound?
I, and her father is make her a petter penny.
I know the young Gentlewoman, ſhe has good gifts.
Seuen hundred pounds, and poſſibilities, is goot gifts.
Wel, let vs ſee honeſt Mr
Page: is Falſtaffe there?
Shall I tell you a lye? I doe deſpiſe a lyer, as I doe deſpiſe one that is falſe, or as I deſpiſe one that is not true: the Knight Sir Iohn is there, and I beſeech you be ruled by your well-willers: I will peat the doore for Mr. Page. What hoa? Got-pleſſe your houſe heere.
Who's there?
Here is go't's pleſſing and your friend, and IuShallow, and heere yong Maſter Slender: that perad
I am glad to ſee your Worſhips well: I thanke you for my Veniſon Maſter Shallow.
Maſter Page, I am glad to ſee you: much good doe it your good heart: I wiſh'd your Veniſon better, it was ill killd: how doth good Miſtreſſe Page? and I thank you alwaies with my heart, la: with my heart.
Sir, I thanke you.
Sir, I thanke you: by yea, and no I doe.
I am glad to ſee you, good Maſter Slender.
How do's your fallow Greyhound, Sir, I heard ſay he was out-run on Cotſall.
It could not be iudg'd, Sir.
You'll not confeſſe: you'll not confeſſe.
That he will not, 'tis your fault, 'tis your fault: 'tis a good dogge.
A Cur, Sir.
Sir: hee's a good dog, and a faire dog, can there be more ſaid? he is good, and faire. Is Sir Iohn Falſtaffe heere?
Sir, hee is within: and I would I could doe a good office betweene you.
It is ſpoke as a Chriſtians ought to ſpeake.
He hath wrong'd me (Maſter Page.)
Sir, he doth in ſome ſort confeſſe it.
If it be confeſſed, it is not redreſſed; is not that ſo (M. Page?) he hath wrong'd me, indeed he hath, at a word he hath: beleeue me, Robert Shallow Eſquire, ſaith he is wronged.
Here comes Sir Iohn.
Now, Maſter Shallow, you'll complaine of me to the King?
Knight, you haue beaten my men, kill'd my deere, and broke open my Lodge.
But not kiſs'd your Keepers daughter?
Tut, a pin: this ſhall be anſwer'd.
The Councell ſhall know this.
'Twere better for you if it were known in coun
Pauca verba; (Sir Iohn) good worts.
Good worts? good Cabidge; Slender, I broke your head: what matter haue you againſt me?
Marry ſir, I haue matter in my head againſt you, and againſt your cony-catching Raſcalls, Bardolf, Nym, and Piſtoll.
You Banbery Cheeſe.
I, it is no matter.
How now, Mephoſtophilus?
I, it is no matter.
Slice, I ſay; pauca. pauca: Slice, that's my humor.
Where's Simple my man? can you tell, Coſen?
Peace, I pray you: now let vs vnderſtand: there is three Vmpires in this matter, as I vnderſtand; that is, Maſter Page (fidelicet Maſter Page,) & there is my ſelfe, (fidelicet my ſelfe) and the three party is (laſtly, and fi
We three to hear it, & end it between them.
Ferry goo't, I will make a priefe of it in my note-booke, and we wil afterwards orke vpon the cauſe, with as great diſcreetly as we can.
Piſtoll.
He heares with eares.
The Teuill and his Tam: what phraſe is this? he heares with eare? why, it is affectations.
Piſtoll, did you picke M. Slenders purſe?
I, by theſe gloues did hee, or I would I might neuer come in mine owne great chamber againe elſe, of ſeauen groates in mill-ſixpences, and two Edward ShoYead Miller: by theſe gloues.
Is this true, Piſtoll?
No, it is falſe, if it is a picke-purſe.
Ha, thou mountaine Forreyner: Sir Iohn, and Maſter mine, I combat challenge of this Latine Bilboe: word of deniall in thy labras here; word of denial; froth, and ſcum thou lieſt.
By theſe gloues, then 'twas he.
Be auis'd ſir, and paſſe good humours: I will ſay marry trap with you, if you runne the nut-hooks hu
By this hat, then he in the red face had it: for though I cannot remember what I did when you made me drunke, yet I am not altogether an aſſe.
What ſay you Scarlet, and Iohn?
Why ſir, (for my part) I ſay the Gentleman had drunke himſelfe out of his fiue ſentences.
It is his fiue ſences: fie, what the ignorance is.
And being fap, ſir, was (as they ſay) caſheerd: and ſo concluſions paſt the Car-eires.
I, you ſpake in Latten then to: but 'tis no mat
So got-udge me, that is a vertuons minde.
You heare all theſe matters deni'd, Gentlemen; you heare it.
Nay daughter, carry the wine in, wee'll drinke within.
Oh heauen: This is Miſtreſſe Anne Page.
How now Miſtris Ford?
Miſtris Ford, by my troth you are very wel met: by your leaue good Miſtris.
Wife, bid theſe gentlemen welcome: come, we haue a hot Veniſon paſty to dinner; Come gentle
I had rather then forty ſhillings I had my booke of Songs and Sonnets heere: How now Simple, where haue you beene? I muſt wait on my ſelfe, muſt I? you haue not the booke of Riddles about you, haue you?
Booke of Riddles? why did you not lend it to Alice Short-cake vpon Alhallowmas laſt, a fortnight a
Come Coz, come Coz, we ſtay for you: a word with you Coz: marry this, Coz: there is as 'twere a tenHugh here: doe you vnderſtand me?
I Sir, you ſhall finde me reaſonable; if it be ſo, I ſhall doe that that is reaſon.
Nay, but vnderſtand me.
So I doe Sir.
Giue eare to his motions; (Mr. Slender) I will deſcription the matter to you, if you be capacity of it.
Nay, I will doe as my Cozen Shallow ſaies: I pray you pardon me, he's a Iuſtice of Peace in his Coun
But that is not the queſtion: the queſtion is concerning your marriage.
I, there's the point Sir.
Marry is it: the very point of it, to Mi. An Page.
Why if it be ſo; I will marry her vpon any rea
But can you affection the 'o-man, let vs command to know that of your mouth, or of your lips: for diuers Philoſophers hold, that the lips is parcell of the mouth: therfore preciſely, cae maid?
Coſen Abraham Slender, can you loue her?
I hope ſir, I will do as it ſhall become one that would doe reaſon.
Nay, got's Lords, and his Ladies, you muſt ſpeake poſſitable, if you can carry-her your deſires towards her.
I will doe a greater thing then that, vpon your requeſt (Coſen) in any reaſon.
Nay conceiue me, conceiue mee, (ſweet Coz): what I doe is to pleaſure you (Coz:) can you loue the maid?
I will marry her (Sir) at your requeſt; but if there bee no great loue in the beginning, yet Heauen may decreaſe it vpon better acquaintance, when wee are married, and haue more occaſion to know one ano
It is a fery diſcetion-anſwere; ſaue the fall is in the'ord, diſſolutely: the ort is (according to our mea
I: I thinke my Coſen meant well.
I, or elſe I would I might be hang'd (la.)
Here comes faire Miſtris Anne; would I were yong for your ſake, Miſtris Anne.
The dinner is on the Table, my Father deſires your worſhips company.
I will wait on him, (faire Miſtris Anne.)
Od's pleſſed-wil: I wil not be abſe
Wil't pleaſe your worſhip to come in, Sir?
No, I thank you forſooth, hartely; I am very well.
The dinner attends you, Sir.
I am not a-hungry, I thanke you, forſooth: goe, Sirha, for all you are my man, goe wait vpon my Coſen Shallow: a Iuſtice of peace ſometime may be beholding to his friend, for a Man; I keepe but three Men, and a Boy yet, till my Mother be dead: but what though, yet I liue like a poore Gentleman borne.
I may not goe in without your worſhip: they will not ſit till you come.
I' faith, ile eate nothing: I thanke you as much as though I did.
I pray you Sir walke in.
I had rather walke here (I thanke you) I bruiz'd my ſhin th' other day, with playing at Sword and Dag
I thinke there are, Sir, I heard them talk'd of.
I loue the ſport well, but I ſhall as ſoone quarrell at it, as any man in England: you are afraid if you ſee the Beare looſe, are you not?
I indeede Sir.
That's meate and drinke to me now: I haue ſeene Sackerſon looſe, twenty times, and haue taken him by the Chaine: but (I warrant you) the women haue ſo cride and ſhrekt at it, that it paſt: But women indeede, cannot abide'em, they are very ill-fauour'd rough things.
Come, gentle M. Slender, come; we ſtay for you.
Ile eate nothing, I thanke you Sir.
By cocke and pie, you ſhall not chooſe, Sir: come, come.
Nay, pray you lead the way.
Come on, Sir.
Miſtris Anne: your ſelfe ſhall goe firſt.
Not I Sir, pray you keepe on.
Truely I will not goe firſt: truely-la: I will not doe you that wrong.
I pray you Sir.
Ile rather be vnmannerly, then troubleſome: you doe your ſelfe wrong indeede-la.
Go your waies, and aske of Doctor Caius houſe, which is the way; and there dwels one Miſtris Quickly; which is in the manner of his Nurſe; or his dry-Nurſe; or his Cooke; or his Laundry; his Waſher, and his Ringer.
Well Sir.
Nay, it is petter yet: giue her this letter; for it is a'oman that altogeathers acquaintaAnne Page; and the Letter is to deſire, and require her to ſoliAnne Page: I pray you be gon: I will make an end of my dinner; ther's Pip
Mine Hoſt of the Garter?
What ſaies my Bully Rooke? ſpeake ſchollerly, and wiſely.
Truely mine Hoſt; I muſt turne away ſome of my followers.
Diſcard, (bully Hercules) caſheere; let them wag; trot, trot.
I ſit at ten pounds a weeke.
Thou'rt an Emperor (Ceſar, Keiſer and Pheazar) I will entertaine Bardolfe: he ſhall draw; he ſhall tap; ſaid I well (bully Hector?)
Doe ſo (good mine Hoſt.
I haue ſpoke: let him follow: let me ſee thee froth, and liue: I am at a word: follow.
Bardolfe, follow him: a Tapſter is a good trade: an old Cloake, makes a new Ierkin: a wither'd Seruing-man, a freſh Tapſter: goe, adew.
It is a life that I haue deſir'd: I will thriue.
O baſe hungarian wight: wilt yu the ſpigot wield.
He was gotten in drink: is not the humor co
I am glad I am ſo acquit of this Tinderbox: his Thefts were too open: his filching was like an vnskilfull Singer, he kept not time.
The good humor is to ſteale at a minutes reſt.
Conuay: the wiſe it call: Steale? foh: a fico for the phraſe.
Well ſirs, I am almoſt out at heeles.
Why then let Kibes enſue.
There is no remedy: I muſt conicatch, I muſt ſhift.
Yong Rauens muſt haue foode.
Which of you know Ford of this Towne?
I ken the wight: he is of ſubſtance good.
My honeſt Lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Two yards, and more.
No quips now Piſtoll: (Indeede I am in the waſte two yards about: but I am now about no waſte: I am aFords wife: I ſpie entertainment in her: ſhee diſcourſes: ſhee carues: ſhe giues the leere of inuitation: I can conſtrue the action of her familier ſtile, & the hardeſt voice of her behauior (to be engliſh'd rightly) is, I am Sir Iohn Falſtafs.
He hath ſtudied her will; and tranſlated her will: out of honeſty, into Engliſh.
The Anchor is deepe: will that humor paſſe?
Now, the report goes, ſhe has all the rule of her husbands Purſe: he hath a legend of Angels.
As many diuels entertaine: and to her Boy ſay I.
The humor riſes: it is good: humor me the angels.
I haue writ me here a letter to her: & here anoPages wife, who euen now gaue mee good eyes too; examind my parts with moſt iudicious illiads: ſome
Then did the Sun on dung-hill ſhine.
I thanke thee for that humour.
O ſhe did ſo courſe o're my exteriors with ſuch a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye, did ſeeme to ſcorch me vp like a burning-glaſſe: here's another letter to her: She beares the Purſe too: She is a Region in Guiana: all gold, and bountie: I will be Cheaters to them both, and they ſhall be Exchequers to mee: they ſhall be my Eaſt and Weſt Indies, and I will trade to them both: Goe, beare thou this Letter to Miſtris Page; and thou this to Miſtris Ford: we will thriue (Lads) we will thriue.
I will run no baſe humor: here take the humor-Letter; I will keepe the hauior of reputation.
Wilt thou reuenge?
By Welkin, and her Star.
With wit, or Steele?
My humour ſhall not coole: I will incenſe Ford to deale with poyſon: I will poſſeſſe him with yallow
Thou art the Mars of Malecontents: I ſecond thee: troope on.
What, Iohn Rugby, I pray thee goe to the CaſeCaius comming: if he doe (I' faith) and finde any body in the houſe; here will be an old abuſing of Gods pati
Ile goe watch.
Goe, and we'll haue a poſſet for't ſoone at night, (in faith) at the latter end of a Sea-cole-fire: An honeſt, willing, kinde fellow, as euer ſeruant ſhall come in houſe withall: and I warrant you, no tel-tale, nor no breedePeter Simple, you ſay your name is?
I: for fault of a better.
And Maſter Slender's your Maſter?
I forſooth.
Do's he not weare a great round Beard, like a Glouers pairing-knife?
No forſooth: he hath but a little wee face; with a little yellow Beard: a Caine colourd Beard.
A ſoftly-ſprighted man, is he not?
I forſooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands, as any is betweene this and his head: he hath fought with a Warrener.
How ſay you: oh, I ſhould remember him: do's he not hold vp his head (as it were?) and ſtrut in his gate?
Yes indeede do's he.
Well, heauen ſend Anne Page, no worſe fortune: Tell Maſter Parſon Euans, I will doe what I can for your Maſter: Anne is a good girle, and I wiſh —
Out alas: here comes my Maſter.
We ſhall all be ſhent: Run in here, good young man: goe into this Cloſſet: he will not ſtay long: what Iohn Rugby? Iohn: what Iohn I ſay? goe Iohn, goe en(and downe, downe, adowne'a. &c.
Vat is you ſing? I doe not like des-toyes: pray you goe and vetch me in my Cloſſet, vnboyteene verd; a Box, a greene-a-Box: do intend vat I ſpeake? a greene-a-Box.
I forſooth ile fetch it you: I am glad hee went not in himſelfe: if he had found the yong man he would haue bin horne-mad.
Fe, fe, fe, fe, maifoy, il fait for ehando, Ie man voi a le Court la grand affaires.
Is it this Sir?
What Iohn Rugby, Iohn?
Here Sir.
'Tis ready Sir, here in the Porch.
By my trot: I tarry too long: od's-me: que ay ie oublie: dere is ſome Simples in my Cloſſet, dat I vill not for the varld I ſhall leaue behinde.
Ay-me, he'll finde the yong man there, & be mad.
Good Maſter be content.
Wherefore ſhall I be content-a?
The yong man is an honeſt man.
What ſhall de honeſt man do in my Cloſſet: dere is no honeſt man dat ſhall come in my Cloſſet.
I beſeech you be not ſo flegmaticke: heare the truth of it. He came of an errand to mee, from Parſon Hugh.
Vell.
I forſooth: to deſire her to —
Peace, I pray you.
Peace-a-your tongue: ſpeake-a-your Tale.
To deſire this honeſt Gentlewoman (your Maid) to ſpeake a good word to Miſtris Anne Page, for my Ma
This is all indeede-la: but ile nere put my finger in the fire, and neede not.
Sir Hugh ſend-a you? Rugby, ballow mee ſome paper: tarry you a littell-a-while.
I am glad he is ſo quiet if he had bin throughe French Doctor my Maſter, (I may call him my Maſter, looke you, for I keepe his houſe; and I waſh,
'Tis a great charge to come vnder one bodies hand.
Are you a-uis'd o' that? you ſhall finde it a great charge: and to be vp early, and down later but notwithAnne Page: but notwithſtanding that I know Ans mind, that's neither heere nor there.
You, lack 'Nape: giue-'a this Letter to Sir Hugh, by gar it is a ſhallenge: I will cut his troat in de Parke, and I will teach a ſouruy lack-a-nape Prieſt to meddle, or make: — you may be gon: it is not good you tarry here: by gar I will cut all his two ſtones: by gar, he ſhall not haue a ſtone to throw at his dogge.
Alas: he ſpeakes but for his friend.
It is no matter'a ver dat: do not you tell-a-me dat I ſhall haue Anne Page for my ſelfe? by gar, I vill kill de Iack-Prieſt: and I haue appointed mine Hoſt of de Iarteer to meaſure our weapon: by gar, I wil my ſelfe haue Anne Page.
Rugby, come to the Court with me: by gar, if I haue not Anne Page, I ſhall turne your head out of my dore: follow my heeles, Rugby.
You ſhall haue An-fooles head of your owne: No, I know Ans mind for that: neuer a woman in Windſor knowes more of
Who's with in there, hoa?
Who's there, I troa? Come neere the houſe I pray you.
How now (good woman) how doſt thou?
The better that it pleaſes your good Worſhip to aske?
What newes? how do's pretty Miſtris Anne?
In truth Sir, and ſhee is pretty, and honeſt, and gentle, and one that is your friend, I can tell you that by the way, I praiſe heauen for it.
Shall I doe any good thinkſt thou? ſhall I not looſe my ſuit?
Troth Sir, all is in his hands aboue: but notFenton) Ile be ſworne on a booke ſhee loues you: haue not your Worſhip a wart aboue your eye?
Yes marry haue I, what of that?
Wel, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is ſuch another Nan; (but (I deteſt) an honeſt maid as euer broke bread: wee had an howres talke of that wart; I ſhall neuer laugh but in that maids company: but (in
Well: I ſhall ſee her to day: hold, there's mo
Will I? I faith that wee will: And I will tell your Worſhip more of the Wart, the next time we haue confidence, and of other wooers.
Well, fare-well, I am in great haſte now.
Fare-well to your Worſhip: truely an honeſt Gentleman: but Anne loues hiim not: for I know Ans minde as well as another do's: out vpon't: what haue I forgot.
What, haue ſcap'd Loue-letters in the holly-day-time of my beauty, and am I now a ſubiect for them? let me ſee?
Aske me no reaſon why I loue you, for though Loue vſe Reaſon for his preciſian, hee admits him not for his Counſailour: you are not yong, no more am I: goe to then, there's ſimpathie: you are merry, ſo am I: ha, ha, then there's more ſimpathie: you loue ſacke, and ſo do I: would you deſire better ſimpathie? Let it ſuffice thee (Miſtris Page) at the leaſt if the Loue of Souldier can ſuffice, that I loue thee: I will not ſay pitty mee, 'tis not a Souldier-like phraſe; but I ſay, loue me:
Exhibit a Bill in the Parliament for the putting downe of men: how ſhall I be reueng'd on him? for reueng'd I will be? as ſure as his guts are made of puddings.
Miſtris Page, truſt me, I was going to your houſe.
And truſt me, I was comming to you: you looke very ill.
Nay, Ile nere beleeee that; I haue to ſhew to the contrary.
'Faith but you doe in my minde.
Well: I doe then: yet I ſay, I could ſhew you to the contrary: O Miſtris Page, giue mee ſome counſaile.
What's the matter, woman?
O woman: if it were not for one trifling re
Hang the trifle (woman) take the honour: what is it? diſpence with trifles: what is it?
If I would but goe to hell, for an eternall moment, or ſo: I could be knighted.
What thou lieſt? Sir Alice Ford? theſe Knights will hacke, and ſo thou ſhouldſt not alter the ar
Wee burne day-light: heere, read, read: perceiue how I might bee knighted, I ſhall thinke the worſe of fat men, as long as I haue an eye to make diffe
Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs: to thy great comfort in this myPelion: Well; I will find you twen
Why this is the very ſame: the very hand: the very words: what doth he thinke of vs?
Nay I know not: it makes me almoſt rea
Boording, call you it? Ile bee ſure to keepe him aboue decke.
So will I: if hee come vnder my hatches, Ile neuer to Sea againe: Let's bee reueng'd on him: let's appoint him a meeting: giue him a ſhow of comfort in his Suit, and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till hee hath pawn'd his horſes to mine Hoſt of the Garter.
Nay, I wil conſent to act any villany againſt him, that may not ſully the charineſſe of our honeſty: oh that my husband ſaw this Letter: it would giue eternall food to his iealouſie.
Why look where he comes; and my good man too: hee's as farre from iealouſie, as I am from gi
You are the happier woman.
Let's conſult together againſt this greaſie Knight: Come hither.
Well: I hope, it be not ſo.
Why ſir, my wife is not young.
He wooes both high and low, both rich & poor, both yong and old, one with another (Ford) he loues the Gally-mawfry (Ford) perpend.
Loue my wife?
What name Sir?
I will be patient: I will find out this.
And this is true: I like not the humor of lying: hee hath wronged mee in ſome humors: I ſhould haue borne the humour'd Letter to her: but I haue a ſword: and it ſhall bite vpon my neceſſitie: he loues your wife; There's the ſhort and the long: My name is Corporall Nim: I ſpeak, and I auouch; 'tis true: my name is Nim: and Falſtaffe loues your wife: adieu, I loue not the hu
The humour of it (quoth'a?) heere's a fellow frights Engliſh out of his wits.
I will ſeeke out Falſtaffe.
I neuer heard ſuch a drawling-affecting rogue.
If I doe finde it: well.
I will not beleeue ſuch a Cataian, though the Prieſt o' th' Towne commended him for a true man.
'Twas a good ſenſible fellow: well.
How now Meg?
Whether goe you (George?) harke you.
How now (ſweet Frank) why art thou me
Haue with you: you'll come to dinner George? Looke who comes yonder: ſhee ſhall bee our Meſſenger to this paltrie Knight.
Truſt me, I thought on her: ſhee'll fit it.
You are come to ſee my daughter Anne?
I forſooth: and I pray how do's good Miſtreſſe Anne?
Go in with vs and ſee: we haue an houres talke with you.
How now Maſter Ford?
You heard what this knaue told me, did you not?
Yes, and you heard what the other told me?
Doe you thinke there is truth in them?
Hang 'em ſlaues: I doe not thinke the Knight would offer it: But theſe that accuſe him in his intent towards our wiues, are a yoake of his diſcarded men: ve
Were they his men?
Marry were they.
I marry do's he: if hee ſhould intend this voy
I doe not miſdoubt my wife: but I would bee loath to turne them together: a man may be too confi
Looke where my ranting-Hoſt of the Garter comes: there is eyther liquor in his pate, or mony in his purſe, when hee lookes ſo merrily: How now mine Hoſt?
How now Bully-Rooke: thou'rt a Gentleman Caueleiro Iuſtice, I ſay.
I follow, (mine Hoſt) I follow: Good-euen, and twePage.) Maſter Page, wil you go with vs? we haue ſport in hand.
Tell him Caueleiro-Iuſtice: tell him Bully-Rooke.
Sir, there is a fray to be fought, betweene Sir Hugh the Welch Prieſt, and Caius the French Doctor.
Good mine Hoſt o' th' Garter: a word with you.
What ſaiſt thou, my Bully-Rooke?
Will you goe with vs to behold it? My merry Hoſt hath had the meaſuring of their weapons; and (I thinke) hath appointed them contrary places: for (be
Haſt thou no ſuit againſt my Knight? my gueſt-Caualeire?
None, I proteſt: but Ile giue you a pottle of burn'd ſacke, to giue me recourſe to him, and tell him my name is Broome: onely for a
My hand, (Bully:) thou ſhalt haue egreſſe and regreſſe, (ſaid I well?) and thy name ſhall be Broome. It is a merry Knight: will you goe An-heires?
Haue with you mine Hoſt.
I haue heard the French-man hath good skill in his Rapier.
Tut ſir: I could haue told you more: In theſe times you ſtand on diſtance: your Paſſes, Stoccado's, and I know not what: 'tis the heart (Maſter Page) 'tis heere, 'tis heere: I haue ſeene the time, with my long-ſword, I would haue made you fowre tall fellowes skippe like Rattes.
Heere boyes, heere, heere: ſhall we wag?
Haue with you: I had rather heare them ſcold, then fight.
Though Page be a ſecure foole, and ſtands ſo firmely on his wiues frailty; yet, I cannot put-off my oPages houſe: and what they made there, I know not. Well, I wil looke further into't, and I haue a diſguiſe, to ſound Falſtaffe; if I finde her honeſt, I looſe not my labor: if ſhe be other
I will not lend thee a penny.
Why then the world's mine Oyſter, which I, with ſword will open.
Not a penny: I haue beene content (Sir,) you ſhould lay my countenance to pawne: I haue grated vpNim; or elſe you had look'd through the grate, like a Geminy of Baboones: I am damn'd in hell, for ſwearing to Gentlemen my friends, you were good Souldiers, and tall-fellowes. And when Miſtreſſe Bright loſt the handle of her Fan, I took't vpon mine ho
Didſt not thou ſhare? hadſt thou not fifteene pence?
Reaſon, you roague, reaſon: thinkſt thou Ile engratis? at a word, hang no more about mee, I am no gibbet for you: goe, a ſhort knife, and a throng, to your Mannor of Pickt-hatch: goe, you'll not beare a Letter for mee you roague? you ſtand vpon your honor: why, (thou vnconfinable baſeneſſe) it is as much as I can doe to keepe the termes of my hononor preciſe: I, I, I my ſelfe ſometimes, leauing the feare of heauen on the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my neceſſity, am faine to ſhufflle: to hedge, and to lurch, and yet, you Rogue, will en-ſconce your raggs; your Cat-a-Moun
I doe relent: what would thou more of man?
Sir, here's a woman would ſpeake with you.
Let her approach.
Giue your worſhip good morrow.
Good-morrow, good-wife.
Not ſo and't pleaſe your worſhip.
Good maid then.
I doe beleeue the ſwearer; what with me?
Shall I vouch-ſafe your worſhip a word, or two?
Two thouſand (faire woman) and ile vouchſafe thee the hearing.
There is one Miſtreſſe Ford, (Sir) I pray come a little neerer this waies: I my ſelfe dwell with M. Doctor Caius:
Well, on; Miſtreſſe Ford, you ſay.
Your worſhip ſaies very true: I pray your wor
I warrant thee, no-bodie heares: mine owne people, mine owne people.
Are they ſo? heauen-bleſſe them, and make them his Seruants.
Well; Miſtreſſe Ford, what of her?
Why, Sir; ſhee's a good-creature; Lord, Lord, your Worſhip's a wanton: well: heauen forgiue you, and all of vs, I pray—.
Miſtreſſe Ford: come, Miſtreſſe Ford.
Marry this is the ſhort, and the long of it: you haue brought her into ſuch a Canaries, as 'tis wonderWindſor) could neuer haue brought her to ſuch a Ca
But what ſaies ſhee to mee? be briefe my good ſhee-Mercurie.
Marry, ſhe hath receiu'd your Letter: for the which ſhe thankes you a thouſand times; and ſhe giues you to notifie, that her husband will be abſence from his houſe, betweene ten and eleuen.
Ten, and eleuen.
I, forſooth: and then you may come and ſee the picture (ſhe ſayes) that you wot of: Maſter Ford her huſ
Why, you ſay well: But I haue another meſſenPage hath her heartie commendations to you to: and let mee tell you in your eare, ſhee's as fartuous a ciuill modeſt wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miſſe you morning nor euening prayer, as any is in Windſor, who ere bee the other: and ſhee bade me tell your worſhip, that her husband is ſel
Not I, I aſſure thee; ſetting the attraction of my good parts aſide, I haue no other charmes.
Bleſſing on your heart for't.
But I pray thee tell me this: has Fords wife, and Pages wife acquainted each other, how they loue me?
That were a ieſt indeed: they haue not ſo little grace I hope, that were a tricke indeed: But Miſtris Page would deſire you to ſend her your little Page of al loues: her husband has a maruellous infectioPage is an honeſt man: neuer a wife in Windſor leades a better life then ſhe do's: doe what ſhee will, ſay what ſhe will, take all, pay all, goe to bed when ſhe liſt, riſe when ſhe liſt, all is as ſhe will: and truly ſhe deſerues it; for if there be a kinde woman in Windſor, ſhe is one: you muſt ſend her your Page, no remedie.
Why, I will.
Nay
Farethee-well, commend mee to them both: there's my purſe, I am yet thy debter: Boy, goe along with this woman, this newes diſtracts me.
Saiſt thou ſo (old Iacke) go thy waies: Ile make more of thy olde body then I haue done: will they yet looke after thee? wilt thou after the expence of ſo much money, be now a gainer? good Body, I thanke thee: let them ſay 'tis groſſely done, ſo it bee fairely done, no matter.
Sir Iohn, there's one Maſter Broome below would faine ſpeake with you, and be acquainted with you; and hath ſent your worſhip a mornings draught of Sacke.
Broome is his name?
I Sir.
Call him in: ſuch Broomes are welcome to mee, that ore' flowes ſuch liquor: ah ha, Miſtreſſe Ford and MiPage, haue I encompaſs'd you? goe to, via.
'Bleſſe you ſir.
And you ſir: would you ſpeake with me?
I make bold, to preſſe, with ſo little prepara
You'r welcome, what's your will? giue vs leaue Drawer.
Sir, I am a Gentleman that haue ſpent much, my name is Broome.
Good Maſter Broome, I deſire more acquaintance of you.
Good Sir Iohn, I ſue for yours: not to charge you, for I muſt let you vnderſtand, I thinke my ſelfe in better plight for a Lender, then you are: the which hath ſomething emboldned me to this vnſeaſon'd intruſion: for they ſay, if money goe before, all waies doe lye open.
Money is a good Souldier (Sir) and will on.
Troth, and I haue a bag of money heere trouIohn) take all, or halfe, for eaſing me of the carriage.
Sir, I know not how I may deſerue to bee your Porter.
I will tell you ſir, if you will giue mee the hea
Speake (good Maſter Broome) I ſhall be glad to be your Seruant.
Sir, I heare you are a Scholler: (I will be briefe with you) and you haue been a man long knowne to me, though I had neuer ſo good means as deſire, to make my ſelfe acquainted with you. I ſhall diſcouer a thing to you, wherein I muſt very much lay open mine owne imIohn) as you haue one eye vp
Very well Sir, proceed.
There is a Gentlewoman in this Towne, her husbands name is Ford.
Well Sir.
I haue long lou'd her, and I proteſt to you, be
Haue you receiu'd no promiſe of ſatisfaction at her hands?
Neuer.
Haue you importun'd her to ſuch a purpoſe?
Neuer.
Of what qualitie was your loue then?
Like a fair houſe, built on another mans ground, ſo that I haue loſt my edifice, by miſtaking the place, where I erected it.
To what purpoſe haue you vnfolded this to me?
When I haue told you that, I haue told you all: Some ſay, that though ſhe appeare honeſt to mee, yet in other places ſhee enlargeth her mirth ſo farre, that there is ſhrewd conſtruction made of her. Now (Sir Iohn) here is the heart of my purpoſe: you are a gentleman of ex
O Sir.
Beleeue it, for you know it: there is money, ſpend it, ſpend it, ſpend more; ſpend all I haue, onely
Fords wife: vſe your Art of wooing; win her to conſent to you: if any man may, you may as ſoone as any.
Would it apply well to the vehemency of your affection that I ſhould win what you would enioy? Me
O, vnderſtand my drift: ſhe dwells ſo ſecurely on the excellency of her honor, that the folly of my ſoule dares not preſent it ſelfe: ſhee is too bright to be look'd againſt. Now, could I come to her with any detection in my hand; my deſires had inſtance and argument to commend themſelues, I could driue her then from the ward of her purity, her reputation, her marriage-vow, and a thouſand other her defences, which now are too-too ſtrongly embattaild againſt me: what ſay you too't, Sir Iohn?
Maſter Broome, I will firſt make bold with your money: next, giue mee your hand: and laſt, as I am a gentleman, you ſhall, if you will, enioy Fords wife.
O good Sir.
I ſay you ſhall.
Want no money (Sir Iohn) you ſhall want none.
Want no Miſtreſſe Ford (Maſter Broome) you ſhall want none: I ſhall be with her (I may tell you) by her owne appointment, euen as you came in to me, her aſſi
I am bleſt in your acquaintance: do you know Ford Sir?
Hang him (poore Cuckoldly knaue) I know him not: yet I wrong him to call him poore: They ſay the iealous wittolly-knaue hath maſſes of money, for the which his wife ſeemes to me well-fauourd: I will vſe her as the key of the Cuckoldly-rogues Coffer, & ther's my harueſt-home.
I would you knew Ford, ſir, that you might a
Hang him, mechanicall-ſalt-butter rogue; I wil ſtare him out of his wits: I will awe-him with my cudBroome, thou ſhalt know, I will predominate oFord's a knaue, and I will aggraBroome) ſhalt know him for knaue, and Cuckold. Come to me ſoone at night.
What a damn'd Epicurian-Raſcall is this? my heart is ready to cracke with impatience: who ſaies this is improuident iealouſie? my wife hath ſent to him, the howre is fixt, the match is made: would any man haue thought this? ſee the hell of hauing a falſe woman: my bed ſhall be abus'd, my Coffers ranſack'd, my reputatiAmaimon ſounds well: Lucifer, well: Barbaſon, well: yet they are Diuels additions, the names of fiends: But Cuckold, Wittoll, Cuckold? the Diuell himſelfe hath not ſuch a name. Page is an Aſſe, a ſecure Aſſe; hee will truſt his wife, hee will not be iealous: I will rather truſt a Fleming with my butter, Parſon Hugh the Welſhman with my Cheeſe, an
Sir.
Vat is the clocke, Iack.
'Tis paſt the howre (Sir) that Sir Hugh promis'd to meet.
By gar, he has ſaue his ſoule, dat he is no-come: hee has pray his Pible well, dat he is no-come: by gar (Iack Rugby) he is dead already, if he be come.
Hee is wiſe Sir: hee knew your worſhip would kill him if he came.
By gar, de herring is no dead, ſo as I vill kill him: take your Rapier, (Iacke) I vill tell you how I vill kill him.
Alas ſir, I cannot fence.
Villanie, take your Rapier.
Forbeare: heer's company.
'Bleſſe thee, bully-Doctor.
'Saue you Mr. Doctor Caius.
Now, good Mr. Doctor.
'Giue you good-morrow, ſir.
Vat be all you one, two, tree, fowre, come for?
To ſee thee fight, to ſee thee foigne, to ſee thee trauerſe, to ſee thee heere, to ſee thee there, to ſee thee paſſe thy puncto, thy flock, thy reuerſe, thy diſtance, thy montant: Is he dead, my Ethiopian? Is he dead, my FranEſculapius? my Galien? my heart of Elder? ha? is he dead bully-Stale? is he dead?
By gar, he is de Coward-Iack-Prieſt of de vorld: he is not ſhow his face.
Thou art a Caſtalion-king-Vrinall: Hector of Greece (my Boy)
I pray you beare witneſſe, that me haue ſtay, ſixe or ſeuen, two tree howres for him, and hee is no
He is the wiſer man (M. Docto) rhe is a curer of ſoules, and you a curer of bodies: if you ſhould fight, you goe againſt the haire of your profeſſions: is it not true, Maſter Page?
Maſter Shallow; you haue your ſelfe beene a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Body-kins M. Page, though I now be old, and of the peace; if I ſee a ſword out, my finger itches to make one: though wee are Iuſtices, and Doctors, and Church-men (M. Page) wee haue ſome ſalt of our youth in vs, we are the ſons of women (M. Page.)
'Tis true, Mr. Shallow.
It wil be found ſo, (M. Page:) M. Doctor Caius, I am come to fetch you home: I am ſworn of the peace: you haue ſhow'd your ſelfe a wiſe Phyſician, and Sir Hugh hath ſhowne himſelfe a wiſe and patient Church
Pardon, Gueſt-Iuſtice; a Mounſeur: Mocke-water.
Mock-vater? vat is dat?
Mock-water, in our Engliſh tongue, is Valour (Bully.)
By gar, then I haue as much Mock-vater as de Engliſhman: ſcuruy-Iack-dog-Prieſt: by gar, mee vill cut his eares.
He will Clapper-claw thee tightly (Bully.)
Clapper-de-claw? vat is dat?
That is, he will make thee amends.
By-gar, me doe looke hee ſhall clapper-de-claw me, for by-gar, me vill haue it.
And I will prouoke him to't, or let him wag.
Me tanck you for dat.
And moreouer, (Bully) but firſt, Mr. Ghueſt, and M. Page, & eeke Caualeiro Slender, goe you through the Towne to Frogmore.
Sir Hugh is there, is he?
He is there, ſee what humor he is in: and I will bring the Doctor about by the Fields: will it doe well?
We will doe it.
Adieu, good M. Doctor.
By-gar, me vill kill de Prieſt, for he ſpeake for a Iack-an-Ape to Anne Page.
Let him die: ſheath thy impatience: throw cold water on thy Choller: goe about the fields with mee through Frogmore, I will bring thee where Miſtris Anne Page is, at a Farm-houſe a Feaſting: and thou ſhalt wooe her: Cride-game, ſaid I well?
By-gar, mee dancke you vor dat: by gar I loue you: and I ſhall procure 'a you de good Gueſt: de Earle, de Knight, de Lords, de Gentlemen, my patients.
For the which, I will be thy aduerſary toward Anne Page: ſaid I well?
By-gar, 'tis good: vell ſaid.
Let vs wag then.
Come at my heeles, Iack Rugby.
I pray you now, good Maſter Slenders ſeruing-man, and friend Simple by your name; which way haue you look'd for Maſter Caius, that calls himſelfe Doctor of Phiſicke.
Marry Sir, the pittie-ward, the Parke-ward: euery way: olde Windſor way, and euery way but the Towne-way.
I moſt fehemently deſire you, you will alſo looke that way.
I will ſir.
'Pleſſe my ſoule: how full of Chollors I am, and trempling of minde: I ſhall be glad if he haue deceiued me: how melancholies I am? I will knog his Vrinalls aTo ſhallow Ruiers to whoſe falls: melodious Birds ſings Madrigalls: There will we make our Peds of Roſes: and a thouſand fragrant poſies. To ſhallow: 'Mercie on mee, I haue a great diſpoſitions to cry.
Yonder he is comming, this way, Sir Hugh.
No weapons, Sir: there comes my Maſter, Mr. Shallow, and another Gentleman; from Frogmore, ouer the ſtile, this way.
Pray you giue mee my gowne, or elſe keepe it in your armes.
How now Maſter Parſon? good morrow good Sir Hugh: keepe a Gameſter from the dice, and a good Studient from his booke, and it is wonderfull.
Ah ſweet Anne Page.
'Saue you, good Sir Hugh.
'Pleſſe you from his mercy-ſake, all of you.
And youthfull ſtill, in your doublet and hoſe, this raw-rumaticke day?
There is reaſons, and cauſes for it.
We are come to you, to doe a good office, Mr. Parſon.
Fery-well: what is it?
Yonder is a moſt reuerend Gentleman; who (be-like) hauing receiued wrong by ſome perſon, is at moſt odds with his owne grauity and patience, that euer you ſaw.
I haue liued foure-ſcore yeeres, and vpward: I neuer heard a man of his place, grauity, and learning, ſo wide of his owne reſpect.
What is he?
I thinke you know him: Mr. Doctor Caius the renowned French Phyſician.
Got's-will, and his paſſion of my heart: I had as lief you would tell me of a meſſe of porredge.
Why?
He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen, and hee is a knaue beſides: a cowardly knaue, as you would deſires to be acquainted withall.
I warrant you, hee's the man ſhould fight with him.
O ſweet Anne Page.
It appeares ſo by his weapons: keepe them aCaius.
Nay good Mr. Parſon, keepe in your weapon.
So doe you, good Mr. Doctor.
Diſarme them, and let them queſtion: let them keepe their limbs whole, and hack our Engliſh.
I pray you let-a-mee ſpeake a word with your eare; vherefore vill you not meet-a me?
Pray you vſe your patience in good time.
By-gar, you are de Coward: de Iack dog: Iohn Ape.
Pray you let vs not be laughing-ſtocks to other mens humors: I deſire you in friendſhip, and I will one way or other make you amends: I will knog your Vrinal about your knaues Cogs-combe.
Diablo: Iack Rugby: mine Hoſt de Iarteer: haue I not ſtay for him, to kill him? haue I not at deplace I did appoint?
As I am a Chriſtians-ſoule, now looke your: this is the place appointed, Ile bee iudgement by mine Hoſt of the Garter.
Peace, I ſay, Gallia and Gaule, French & Welch, Soule-Curer, and Body-Curer.
I, dat is very good, excellant.
Peace, I ſay: heare mine Hoſt of the Garter, Am I politi
Shall I looſe my Doctor? No, hee giues me the Potions and the Motions. Shall I looſe my Parſon? my Prieſt? my Sir Hugh? No, he giues me the Prouerbes, and the No-verbes. Giue me thy hand (Celeſtiall) ſo: Boyes of Art, I haue deceiu'd you both: I haue directed you to wrong places: your hearts are mighty, your skinnes are whole, and let burn'd Sacke be the iſſue: Come, lay their ſwords to pawne: Follow me, Lad of peace, follow, fol
Truſt me, a mad Hoſt: follow Gentlemen, fol
O ſweet Anne Page.
Ha' do I perceiue dat? Haue you make-a-de-ſot of vs, ha, ha?
This is well, he has made vs his vlowting-ſtog: I deſire you that we may be friends: and let vs knog our praines together to be reuenge on this ſame ſcall ſcur
By gar, with all my heart: he promiſe to bring me where is Anne Page: by gar he deceiue me too.
Well, I will ſmite his noddles: pray you follow.
Nay keepe your way (little Gallant) you were wont to be a follower, but now you are a Leader: whether had you rather lead mine eyes, or eye your ma
I had rather (forſooth) go before you like a man, then follow him like a dwarfe.
O you are a flattering boy, now I ſee you'l be a Courtier.
Well met miſtris Page, whether go you.
Truly Sir, to ſee your wife, is ſhe at home?
I, and as idle as ſhe may hang together for want of company: I thinke if your husbands were dead, you two would marry.
Be ſure of that, two other husbands.
Where had you this pretty weather-cocke?
I cannot tell what (the dickens) his name is my husband had him of, what do you cal your Knights name ſirrah?
Sir. Iohn Falſtaffe.
Sir. Iohn Falſtaffe.
He, he, I can neuer hit on's name; there is ſuch a league betweene my goodman, and he: is your Wife at home indeed?
Indeed ſhe is.
By your leaue ſir, I am ſicke till I ſee her.
Has Page any braines? Hath he any eies? Hath he any thinking? Sure they ſleepe, he hath no vſe of them: why this boy will carrie a letter twentie mile as eaſie, as a Canon will ſhoot point-blanke twelue ſcore: hee peeFalſtaffes boy with her: A man may heare this ſhowre ſing in the winde; and
Page, &c. Well met Mr
Ford.
Truſt me, a good knotte; I haue good cheere at home, and I pray you all go with me.
I muſt excuſe my ſelfe Mr
Ford.
We haue linger'd about a match betweene An Page, and my cozen Slender, and this day wee ſhall haue our anſwer.
I hope I haue your good will Father Page.
I be-gar, and de Maid is loue-a-me: my nurſh
What ſay you to yong Mr
Fenton? He capers, he dances, he has eies of youth: he writes verſes, hee ſpeakes holliday, he ſmels April and May, he wil carry't, he will carry't, 'tis in his buttons, he will carry't.
Not by my conſent I promiſe you. The GentlePointz: he is of too high a Region, he knows too much: no, hee ſhall not knit a knot in his fortunes, with the finger of my ſubſtance: if he take her, let him take her ſimply: the wealth I haue waits on my conſent, and my conſent goes not that way.
I beſeech you heartily, ſome of you goe home with me to dinner: beſides your cheere you ſhall haue ſport, I will ſhew you a monſter: Mr Doctor, you ſhal go, ſo ſhall you Mr
Page, and you Sir Hugh.
Go home Iohn Rugby, I come anon.
Farewell my hearts, I will to my honeſt Knight Falſtaffe, and drinke Canarie with him.
I thinke I ſhall drinke in Pipe-wine firſt with him, Ile make him dance. Will you go, Gentles?
Haue with you, to ſee this Monſter.
What Iohn, what Robert.
Quickly, quickly: Is the Buck-basket —
I warrant. What Robin I ſay.
Come, come, come.
Heere, ſet it downe.
Giue your men the charge, we muſt be briefe.
MarrieIohn & Robert) be ready here hard-by in the Brew-houſe, & when I ſot done, trudge with it in all haſt, and carry it among the WhitDotchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddie ditch, cloſe by the Thames ſide.
You will do it?
Here comes little Robin.
How now my Eyas-Musket, what newes with you?
My M. Sir Iohn is come in at your backe doore (Miſt. Ford, and requeſts your company.
You litle Iack-a-lent, haue you bin true to vs
I, Ile be ſworne: my Maſter knowes not of your being heere: and hath threatned to put me into euerla
Thou'rt a good boy: this ſecrecy of thine ſhall be a Tailor to thee, and ſhal make thee a new dou
Do ſo: go tell thy Maſter, I am alone: MiPage, remember you your Qu.
I warrant thee, if I do not act it, hiſſe me.
Go-too then: we'l vſe this vnwholſome humidity, this groſſe-watry Pumpion; we'll teach him to know Turtles from Iayes.
Haue I caught thee, my heauenly Iewell? Why now let me die, for I haue liu'd long enough: This is the period of my ambition: O this bleſſed houre.
O ſweet Sir Iohn.
Miſtris Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate (Miſt. Ford) now ſhall I ſin in my wiſh; I would thy Husband were dead, Ile ſpeake it before the beſt Lord, I would make thee my Lady.
I your Lady Sir Iohn? Alas, I ſhould bee a pittifull Lady.
Let the Court of France ſhew me ſuch another: I ſee how thine eye would emulate the Diamond: Thou haſt the right arched-beauty of the brow, that becomes the Ship-tyre, the Tyre-valiant, or any Tire of Venetian admittance.
Thou art a tyrant to ſay ſo: thou wouldſt make an abſolute Courtier, and the firme fixture of thy foote, would giue an excellent motion to thy gate, in a ſemi
Beleeue me, ther's no ſuch thing in me.
What made me loue thee? Let that perſwade thee. Ther's ſomething extraordinary in thee: Come, I cannot cog, and ſay thou art this and that, like a-manie of theſe liſping-hauthorne buds, that come like women in mens apparrell, and ſmell like. Bucklers-berry in ſim
Do not betray me ſir, I fear you loue M. Page.
Thou mightſt as well ſay, I loue to walke by the Counter-gate, which is as hatefull to me, as the reeke of a Lime-kill.
Keepe in that minde, Ile deſerue it.
Miſtris Ford, Miſtris Ford: heere's Miſtris Page at the doore, ſweating, and blowing, and looking wildely, and would needs ſpeake with you preſently.
She ſhall not ſee me, I will enſconce mee behinde the Arras.
Pray you do ſo, ſhe's a very tatling woman. Whats the matter? How now?
What's the matter, good miſtris Page?
O weladay, miſt. Ford, hauing an honeſt man to your husband, to giue him ſuch cauſe of ſuſpition.
What cauſe of ſuſpition?
Why (alas) what's the matter?
Your husband's comming hether (Woman) with all the Officers in Windſor, to ſearch for a Gentle
'Tis not ſo, I hope.
Pray heauen it be not ſo, that you haue ſuch a man heere: but 'tis moſt certaine your husband's com
What ſhall I do? There is a Gentleman my deere friend: and I feare not mine owne ſhame ſo much, as his perill. I had rather then a thouſand pound he were out of the houſe.
For ſhame, neuer ſtand (you had rather, and you had rather:) your husband's heere at hand, bethinke you of ſome conueyance: in the houſe you cannot hide him. Oh, how haue you deceiu'd me? Looke, heere is a basket, if he be of any reaſonable ſtature, he may creepe in heere, and throw fowle linnen vpon him, as if it were going to bucking: Or it is whiting time, ſend him by your two men to Datchet-Meade:
He's too big to go in there: what ſhall I do?
What Sir Iohn Faiſtaſſe? Are theſe your Let
I loue thee, helpe mee away: let me creepe in heere: ile neuer—
Helpe to couer your maſter (Boy:) Call your men (Miſt. Ford.) You diſſembling Knight.
What Iohn, Robert, Iohn; Go, take vp theſe cloathes heere, quickly: Wher's the Cowle-ſtaffe? Look how you drumble? Carry them to the Landreſſe in Dat
To the Landreſſe forſooth?
Why, what haue you to doe whether they beare it? You were beſt meddle with buck-waſhing.
Gentlemen, I haue dream'd to night, Ile tell you my dreame: heere, heere, heere bee my keyes, aſcend my Chambers, ſearch, ſeeke, finde out: Ile warrant wee'le vnkennell the Fox. Let me ſtop this way firſt: ſo, now vncape.
This is fery fantaſticall humors and iealouſies.
Nay follow him (Gentlemen) ſee the yſſue of his ſearch.
Is there not a double excellency in this?
What a taking was hee in, when your husband askt who was in the basket?
I am halfe affraid he will haue neede of waſhing: ſo throwing him into the water, will doe him a benefit.
Hang him diſhoneſt raſcall: I would all of the ſame ſtraine, were in the ſame diſtreſſe.
I thinke my husband hath ſome ſpeciall ſuſpition of Falſtaffs being heere: for I neuer ſaw him ſo groſſe in his iealouſie till now.
I will lay a plot to try that, and wee will yet haue more trickes with Falſtaffe: his diſſolute diſeaſe will ſcarſe obey this medicine.
Shall we ſend that fooliſhion Carion, Miſt. Quickly to him, and excuſe his throwing into the water, and giue him another hope, to betray him to another puniſhment?
We will do it: let him be ſent for to mor
I cannot finde him: may be the knaue bragg'd of that he could not compaſſe.
Heard you that?
You vſe me well, M. Ford? Do you?
I, I do ſo.
Heauen make you better then your thoghts
Amen.
You do your ſelfe mighty wrong (M. Ford)
I, I: I muſt beare it.
If there be any pody in the houſe, & in the cham
Be gar, nor I too: there is no-bodies.
Fy, fy, M. Ford, are you not aſham'd? What ſpie welth of Windſor caſtle.
'Tis my fault (M. Page) I ſuffer for it.
You ſuffer for a pad conſcience: your wife is as honeſt a o' mans, as I will deſires among fiue thou
By gar, I ſee 'tis an honeſt woman.
Well, I promiſd you a dinner: come, come, walk in the Parke, I pray you pardon me: I wil hereafter make knowne to you why I haue done this. Come wife, come Mi. Page, I pray you pardon me. Pray hartly pardon me.
Let's go in Gentlemen, but (truſt me) we'l mock him: I doe inuite you to morrow morning to my houſe to breakfaſt: after we'll a Birding together, I haue a fine Hawke for the buſh. Shall it be ſo:
Any thing.
If there is one, I ſhall make two in the Companie
If there be one, or two, I ſhall make-a-theturd.
Pray you go, M. Page.
I pray you now remembrance to morrow on the lowſie knaue, mine Hoſt.
Dat is good by gar, withall my heart.
A lowſie knaue, to haue his gibes, and his moc
Alas, how then?
Ile make a ſhaft or a bolt on't, ſlid, tis but ventu
Be not diſmaid.
Hark ye, M. Slender would ſpeak a word with you
I had a father (M. An) my vncle can tel you good ieſts of him: pray you Vncle tel Miſt. Anne the ieſt how my Father ſtole two Geeſe out of a Pen, good Vnckle.
Miſtris Anne, my Cozen loues you.
I that I do, as well as I loue any woman in Glo
He will maintaine you like a Gentlewoman.
I that I will, come cut and long-taile, vnder the degree of a Squire.
He will make you a hundred and fiftie pounds ioynture.
Good Maiſter Shallow let him woo for him
Marrie I thanke you for it: I thanke you for that good comfort: ſhe cals you (Coz) Ile leaue you.
Now Maſter Slender.
Now good Miſtris Anne.
What is your will?
My will? Odd's-hart-lings, that's a prettie ieſt indeede: I ne're made my Will yet (I thanke Hea
I meane (M. Slender) what wold you with me?
Truely, for mine owne part, I would little or nothing with you: your father and my vncle hath made motion,: if it be my lucke, ſo; if not, happy man bee his dole, they can tell you how things go, better then I can: you may aske your father, heere he comes.
Nay Mr
Page, be not impatient.
Good M. Fenton ▪
come not to my child.
She is no match for you.
Sir, will you heare me?
Speake to Miſtris Page.
Good mother, do not marry me to yond foole.
I meane it not, I ſeeke you a better huſ
That's my maſter, M. Doctor.
Farewell gentle Miſtris: farewell Nan.
This is my doing now: Nay, ſaide I, will you caſt away your childe on a Foole, and a Phyſitian: Looke on M. Fenton, this is my doing.
Now heauen ſend thee good fortune, a kinde heart he hath: a woman would run through fire & waAnne, or I would M. Slender had her: or (in ſooth) I would M. Fenton had her; I will do what I can for them all three, for ſo I haue promiſd, and Ile bee as good as my word, but ſpeciouſly for M. Fenton. Well, I muſt of another errand to Sir Iohn Falstaffe from my two Miſtreſſes: what a beaſt am I to ſlacke it.
Bardolfe I ſay.
Heere Sir.
Go, fetch me a quart of Sacke, put a toſt in't. Haue I liu'd to be carried in a Basket like a barrow of butchers Offall? and to be throwne in the Thames? Wel, if I be ſeru'd ſuch another tricke, Ile haue my braines 'tane out and butter'd, and giue them to a dogge for a New-yeares gift. The rogues ſlighted me into the riuer with as little remorſe, as they would haue drown'de a blinde bitches Puppies, fifteene i' th litter: and you may know by my ſize, that I haue a kinde of alacrity in ſink
Here's M. Quickly Sir to ſpeake with you.
Come, let me poure in ſome Sack to the Thames water: for my bellies as cold as if I had ſwallow'd ſnow
Come in woman.
With Egges, Sir?
Simple of it ſelfe: Ile no Pullet-Sperſme in my brewage. How now?
Marry Sir, I come to your worſhip from M. Ford.
Miſt. Ford? I haue had Ford enough: I was thrown into the Ford; I haue my belly full of Ford.
Alas the day, (good-heart) that was not her fault: ſhe do's ſo take on with her men; they miſtooke their erection.
So did I mine, to build vpon a fooliſh Womans promiſe.
Well, ſhe laments Sir for it, that it would yern your heart to ſee it: her husband goes this morning a birding; ſhe deſires you once more to come to her, be
Well, I will viſit her, tell her ſo: and bidde her thinke what a man is: Let her conſider his frailety, and then iudge of my merit.
I will tell her.
Do ſo. Betweene nine and ten ſaiſt thou?
Eight and nine Sir.
Well, be gone: I will not miſſe her.
Peace be with you Sir.
I meruaile I heare not of Mr
Broome: he ſent me word to ſtay within: I like his money well. Oh, heere be comes.
Bleſſe you Sir.
That indeed (Sir Iohn) is my buſineſſe.
And ſped you Sir?
very ill-fauouredly M. Broome.
How ſo ſir, did ſhe change her determination?
No (M. Broome) but the peaking Curnuto her huſBroome) dwelling in a continual larum of ielou
What? While you were there?
While I was there.
And did he ſearch for you, & could not find you?
You ſhall heare. As good lucke would haue it, comes in one Miſt. Page ▪
giues intelligence of
A Buck-basket?
Yes: a Buck-basket: ram'd mee in with foule Shirts and Smockes, Socks, foule Stockings, greaſie Napkins, that (Maſter Broome) there was the rankeſt compound of villanous ſmell, that euer offended no
And how long lay you there?
Nay, you ſhall heare (Maſter Broome) what I hauFords knaues, his Hindes, were cald forth by their MiDatchet-lane: they tooke me on their ſhoulders: met the iealous knaue their Maſter in the doore; who ask'd them once or twice what they had in their BaſBroome) I ſuffered the pangs of three ſeuerall deaths: Firſt, an intollerable fright, to be detected with a iealious rotten Bell-weather: Next to be compaſs'd like a good Bilbo in the circumBroome.)
Maſter Broome: I will be throwne into Etna, as I haue beene into Thames, ere I will leaue her thus; her Husband is this morning gone a Birding: I haue receiued from her another ambaſſie of meeBroome.)
'Tis paſt eight already Sir.
Is it? I will then addreſſe mee to my appointBroome) Maſter Broome, you ſhall cuckold Ford.
Hum: ha? Is this a viſion? Is this a dreame? doe I ſleepe? Maſter Ford awake, awake Maſter Ford: ther's a hole made in your beſt coate (Maſter Ford:) this 'tis to be married; this 'tis to haue Lynnen, and Buck-baskets: Well, I will proclaime my ſelfe what I am: I will now take the Leacher: hee is at my houſe: hee cannot ſcape me: 'tis impoſſible hee ſhould: hee can
Is he at M. Fords already think'ſt thou?
Sure he is by this; or will be preſently; but truely he is very couragious mad, about his throwing into the water. Miſtris Ford deſires you to come ſo
Ile be with her by and by: Ile but bring my yong-man here to Schoole: looke where his Maſter comes; 'tis a playing day I ſee: how now Sir Hugh, no Schoole to day?
No: Maſter Slender is let the Boyes leaue to play.
'Bleſſing of his heart.
Sir Hugh, my husband ſaies my ſonne pro
Come hither William; hold vp your head; come.
Come-on Sirha; hold vp your head; an
William, how many Numbers is in Nownes?
Two.
Truely, I thought there had bin one Number more, becauſe they ſay od's-Nownes.
Peace, your tatlings. What is (Faire) William?
Pulcher.
Powlcats? there are fairer things then Powlcats, ſure.
You are a very ſimplicity o' man: I pray you peace. What is (Lapis) William?
A Stone.
And what is a Stone (William?)
A Peeble.
No; it is Lapis: I pray you remember in your praine.
Lapis.
That is a good William: what is he (William) that do's lend Articles.
Articles are borrowed of the Pronoune; and be thus declined. Singulariter nominatiuo hic haec, hoc.
Nominatiuo hig, hag, hog: pray you marke: genitiuo huius: Well: what is your
Accuſatiuo hinc.
I pray you haue your remembrance (childe) Accuſatiuo hing, hang, hog.
Hang-hog, is latten for Bacon, I warrant you.
Leaue your prables (o' man) What is the Focatiue caſe (William?)
O, Vocatiuo, O.
Remember William, Focatiue, is caret.
And that's a good roote.
O' man, forbeare.
Peace.
What is your Genitiue caſe plurall (William?)
Genitiue caſe?
I.
Genitiue horum, harum, horum.
'Vengeance of Ginyes caſe; fie on her; neuer name her (childe) if ſhe be a whore.
For ſhame o' man.
You doe ill to teach the childe ſuch words: hee teaches him to hic, and to hac; which they'll doe faſt enough of themſelues, and to call horum; fie vpon you.
O' man, art thou Lunaties? Haſt thou no vn
Pre'thee hold thy peace.
Shew me now (William) ſome declenſions of your Pronounes.
Forſooth, I haue forgot.
It is Qui, que, quod; if you forget your Quies, your Ques, and your Quods, you muſt be preeches: Goe your waies and play, go.
He is a better ſcholler then I thought he was.
He is a good ſprag-memory: Farewel Mis. Page.
Mi. Ford, Your ſorrow hath eaten vp my ſuffeFord, in the ſimple office of loue, but in all the accuſtrement, complement, and ceremony of it: But are you ſure of your husband now?
Hee's a birding (ſweet Sir Iohn.)
What hoa, goſſip Ford: what hoa.
Step into th' chamber, Sir Iohn.
How now (ſweete heart) whoſe at home beſides your ſelfe?
Why none but mine owne people.
Indeed?
No certainly: Speake louder.
Truly, I am ſo glad you haue no body here.
Why?
Why woman, your husband is in his olde lines againe: he ſo takes on yonder with my husband, ſo railes againſt all married mankinde; ſo curſes all Eues daughters, of what complexion ſoeuer; and ſo buffettes himſelfe on the for-head: crying peere-out, peere-out, that any madneſſe I euer yet beheld, ſeem'd but tame
Why, do's he talke of him?
Of none but him, and ſweares he was ca
How neere is he Miſtris Page?
Hard by, at ſtreet end; he wil be here anon.
I am vndone, the Knight is heere.
Why then you are vtterly ſham'd, & hee's but a dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away with him
Which way ſhould he go? How ſhould I beſtow him? Shall I put him into the basket againe?
Alas: three of Mr. Fords brothers watch the doore with Piſtols, that none ſhall iſſue out: other
What ſhall I do? Ile creepe vp into the chimney.
There they alwaies vſe to diſcharge their Birding-peeces: creepe into the Kill-hole.
Where is it?
He will ſeeke there on my word: Neyther Preſſe, Coffer, Cheſt, Trunke, Well, Vault, but he hath an abſtract for the remembrance of ſuch places, and goes to them by his Note: There is no hiding you in the houſe.
Ile go out then.
If you goe out in your owne ſemblance, you die Sir Iohn, vnleſſe you go out diſguis'd.
How might we diſguiſe him?
Alas the day I know not, there is no wo
Good hearts, deuiſe ſomething: any extremitie, rather then a miſchiefe.
My Maids Aunt the fat woman of Brainford, has a gowne aboue.
On my word it will ſerue him: ſhee's as big as he is: and there's her thrum'd hat, and her muffler too: run vp Sir Iohn.
Go, go, ſweet Sir Iohn: Miſtriis Page and I will looke ſome linnen for your head.
Quicke, quicke, wee'le come dreſſe you ſtraight: put on the gowne the while.
I would my husband would meete him in this ſhape: he cannot abide the old woman of Brain
Heauen guide him to thy husbands cud
But is my husband comming?
I in good ſadneſſe is he, and talkes of the basket too, howſoeuer he hath had intelligence.
Wee'l try that: for Ile appoint my men to carry the basket againe, to meete him at the doore with it, as they did laſt time.
Nay, but hee'l be heere preſently: let's go dreſſe him like the witch of Brainford.
Ile firſt direct direct my men, what they ſhall doe with the basket: Goe vp, Ile bring linnen for him ſtraight.
Go Sirs, take the basket againe on your ſhoulders: your Maſter is hard at doore: if hee bid you ſet it downe, obey him: quickly, diſpatch.
Come, come, take it vp.
Pray heauen it be not full of Knight againe.
I hope not, I had liefe as beare ſo much lead.
I, but if it proue true (Mr. Page) haue you any way then to vnfoole me againe. Set downe the basket villaine: ſome body call my wife: Youth in a basket: Oh you Panderly Raſcals, there's a knot: a gin, a packe, a conſpiracie againſt me: Now ſhall the diuel be ſham'd. What wife I ſay: Come, come forth: behold what ho
Why, this paſſes M. Ford: you are not to goe looſe any longer, you muſt be pinnion'd.
Why, this is Lunaticks: this is madde, as a mad dogge.
Indeed M. Ford, thi is not well indeed.
So ſay I too Sir, come hither Miſtris Ford, MiFord, the honeſt woman, the modeſt wife, the vertu
Heauen be my witneſſe you doe, if you ſuſpect me in any diſhoneſty.
Well ſaid Brazon-face, hold it out: Come forth ſirrah.
This paſſes.
Are you not aſham'd, let the cloths alone.
I ſhall finde you anon.
'Tis vnreaſonable; will you take vp your wiues cloathes? Come, away.
Empty the basket I ſay.
Why man, why?
Maſter Page, as I am a man, there was one con
If you find a man there, he ſhall dye a Fleas death.
Heer's no man.
By my fidelity this is not well Mr. Ford: This wrongs you.
Mr
Ford, you muſt pray, and not follow the imaginations of your owne heart: this is iealouſies.
Well, hee's not heere I ſeeke for.
No, nor no where elſe but in your braine.
Helpe to ſearch my houſe this one time: if I find not what I ſeeke, ſhew no colour for my extremity: Let me for euer be your Table-ſport: Let them ſay of me, as iealous as Ford, that ſearch'd a hollow Wall-nut for his wiues Lemman. Satisfie me once more, once more ſerch with me.
What hoa (Miſtris Page,) come you and the old woman downe: my husband will come into the Chamber.
Old woman? what old womans that?
Why it is my maids Aunt of Brainford.
A witch, a Queane, an olde couzening queane: Haue I not forbid her my houſe. She comes of errands do's ſhe? We are ſimple men, wee doe not know what's brought to paſſe vnder the profeſſion of Fortune-telling. She workes by Charmes, by Spels, by th' Figure, & ſuch dawbry as this is, beyond our Element: wee know no
Nay, good ſweet husband, good Gentle
Come mother Prat, Come giue me your hand.
Ile Prat-her: Out of my doore, you Witch, you Ragge, you Baggage, you Poulcat, you Runnion, out, out: Ile coniure you, Ile fortune-tell you.
Are you not aſham'd? I thinke you haue kill'd the poore woman.
Nay he will do it, 'tis a goodly credite for you.
Hang her witch.
By yea, and no, I thinke the o' man is a witch in
Will you follow Gentlemen, I beſeech you fol
Truſt me he beate him moſt pittifully.
Nay by th' Maſſe that he did not: he beate him moſt vnpittifully, me thought.
Ile haue the cudgell hallow'd, and hung ore the Altar, it hath done meritorious ſeruice.
What thinke you? May we with the war
The ſpirit of wantonneſſe is ſure ſcar'd out of him, if the diuell haue him not in fee-ſimple, with fine and recouery, he will neuer (I thinke) in the way of waſte, attempt vs againe.
Shall we tell our husbands how wee haue ſeru'd him?
Yes, by all meanes: if it be but to ſcrape the figures out of your husbands braines: if they can find in their hearts, the poore vnuertuous fat Knight ſhall be any further afflicted, wee two will ſtill bee the mini
Ile warrant, they'l haue him publiquely ſham'd, and me thinkes there would be no period to the ieſt, ſhould he not be publikely ſham'd.
Sir, the Germane deſires to haue three of your horſes: the Duke himſelfe will be to morrow at Court, and they are going to meet him.
What Duke ſhould that be comes ſo ſecretly? I heare not of him in the Court: let mee ſpeake with the Gentlemen, they ſpeake Engliſh?
I Sir? Ile call him to you.
They ſhall haue my horſes, but Ile make them pay: Ile ſauce them, they haue had my houſes a week at commaund: I haue turn'd away my other gueſts, they muſt come off, Ile ſawce them, come.
'Tis one of the beſt diſcretions of a o' man as e
And did he ſend you both theſe Letters at an inſtant?
VVithin a quarter of an houre.
There is no better way then that they ſpoke of.
How? to ſend him word they'll meete him in the Parke at midnight? Fie, fie, he'll neuer come.
You ſay he has bin throwne in the Riuers: and has bin greeuouſly peaten, as an old o' man: me-thinkes there ſhould be terrors in him, that he ſhould not come: Me-thinkes his fleſh is puniſh'd, hee ſhall haue no de
So thinke I too.
I will teach the children their behauiours: and I will be like a Iacke-an-Apes alſo, to burne the Knight with my Taber.
My Nan ſhall be the Queene of all the Fairies, finely attired in a robe of white.
What wouldſt thou haue? (Boore) what? (thick skin) ſpeake, breathe, diſcuſſe: breefe, ſhort, quicke, ſnap.
Marry Sir, I come to ſpeake with Sir Iohn Falſtaffe from M.
There's his Chamber, his Houſe, his Caſtle, his ſtanding-bed and truckle-bed: 'tis painted about with the ſtory of the Prodigall, freſh and new: go, knock and call: hee'l ſpeake like an Anthropophaginian vnto thee: Knocke I ſay.
There's an olde woman, a fat woman gone vp into his chamber: Ile be ſo bold as ſtay Sir till ſhe come downe: I come to ſpeake with her indeed.
Ha? A fat woman? The Knight may be robb'd: Ile call, Bully-Knight, Bully Sir Iohn: ſpeake from thy Lungs Military: Art thou there? It is thine Hoſt, thine Epheſian cals.
How now, mine Hoſt?
Here's a Bohemian-Tartar taries the comming downe of thy fat-woman: Let her deſcend (Bully) let her deſcend: my Chambers are honourable: Fie, priua
There was (mine Hoſt) an old-fat-woman euen now with me, but ſhe's gone.
Pray you Sir, was't not the Wiſe-woman of Brainford?
I marry was it (Muſſel-ſhell) what would you with her?
My Maſter (Sir) my maſter Slender, ſent to her ſeeing her go thorough the ſtreets, to know (Sir) wheNim (Sir) that beguil'd him of a chaine, had the chaine, or no.
I ſpake with the old woman about it.
And what ſayes ſhe, I pray Sir?
Marry ſhee ſayes, that the very ſame man that beguil'd Maſter Slender of his Chaine, cozon'd him of it.
I would I could haue ſpoken with the Woman
What are they? let vs know.
I: come: quicke.
I may not conceale them (Sir.)
Conceale them, or thou di'ſt.
Why ſir, they were nothing but about Miſtris Anne Page, to know if it were my Maſters fortune to haue her, or no.
'Tis, 'tis his fortune.
What Sir?
To haue her, or no: goe; ſay the woman told me ſo.
May I be bold to ſay ſo Sir?
I Sir: like who more bold.
I thanke your worſhip: I ſhall make my Maſter glad with theſe tydings.
Thou are clearkly: thou art clearkly (Sir Iohn) was there a wiſe woman with thee?
I that there was (mine Hoſt) one that hath taught me more wit, then euer I learn'd before in my life: and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for my lear
Out alas (Sir) cozonage: meere cozonage.
Where be my horſes? ſpeake well of them var
Run away with the cozoners: for ſo ſoone as I came beyond Eaton, they threw me off, from behinde one of them, in a ſlough of myre; and ſet ſpurres, and away; like three Germane-diuels; three Doctor Fauſtaffes.
They are gone but to meete the Duke (villaine) doe not ſay they be fled: Germanes are honeſt men.
Where is mine Hoſt?
What is the matter Sir?
Haue a care of your entertainments: there is a friend of mine come to Towne, tels mee there is three Cozen-Iermans, that has cozend all the Hoſts of Readins, of Maidenhead; of Cole-brooke, of horſes and money: I tell you for good will (looke you) you are wiſe, and full of gibes, and vlouting-ſtocks: and 'tis not conuenient you ſhould be cozoned. Fare you well.
Ver' is mine Hoſt de Iarteere?
Here (Maſter Doctor) in perplexitie, and doubt
I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a-me, dat you make grand preparation for a Duke de Iamanie: by my trot: der is no Duke that the Court is know, to come: I tell you for good will: adieu.
Huy and cry, (villaine) goe: aſſiſt me Knight, I am vndone: fly, run: huy, and cry (villaine) I am vn
I would all the world might be cozond, for I haue beene cozond and beaten too: if it ſhould come to the eare of the Court, how I haue beene transformed; and how my transformation hath beene waſhd, and cudgeld, they would melt mee out of my fat drop by drop, and liquor Fiſhermens-boots with me: I warrant they would whip me with their fine wits, till I were as creſt-falne as a dride-peare: I neuer proſper'd, ſince I forſwore my ſelfe at Primer
: well, if my winde were but long enough; I would repent: Now? Whence come you?
From the two parties forſooth.
The Diuell take one partie, and his Dam the other: and ſo they ſhall be both beſtowed; I haue ſuf
And haue not they ſuffer'd? Yes, I warrant; ſpeFord (good heart) is beaten blacke and blew, that you cannot ſee a white ſpot about her.
What tell'ſt thou mee of blacke, and blew? I was beaten my ſelfe into all the colours of the RaineBraineford, but that my admirable dexteritie of wit, my counterfeiting the action of an old woman deliuer'd me, the knaue Conſtable had ſet me ith' Stocks, ith' com
Sir: let me ſpeake with you in your Chamber, you ſhall heare how things goe, and (I warrant) to your content: here is a Letter will ſay ſomewhat: (good-hearts) what a-doe here is to bring you together? Sure, one of you do's not ſerue heauen well, that you are ſo croſſ'd.
Come vp into my Chamber.
Maſter Fenton, talke not to mee, my minde is heauy: I will giue ouer all.
I will heare you (Maſter Fenton) and I will (at the leaſt) keepe your counſell.
Which meanes ſhe to deceiue? Father, or Mo
Pre'thee no more pratling: go, Ile hold, this is the third time: I hope good lucke lies in odde numbers: Away, go, they ſay there is Diuinity in odde Numbers, either in natiuity, chance, or death: away.
Ile prouide you a chaine, and Ile do what I can to get you a paire of hornes.
Away I ſay, time weares, hold vp your head & mince. How now M. Broome? Maſter Broome, the mat
Went you not to her yeſterday (Sir) as you told me you had appointed?
I went to her (Maſter Broome) as you ſee, like a poore-old-man, but I came from her (Maſter Broome) like a poore-old-woman; that ſame knaue (Ford hir huſBroome) that euer gouern'd Frenſie. I will tell you, he beate me greeuouſly, in the ſhape of a woman: (for in the ſhape of Man (Maſter Broome) I feare not Goliah with a Weauers beame, becauſe I know alſo, life is a Shuttle) I am in haſt, go along with mee, Ile tell you all (Maſter Broome:) ſince I pluckt Geeſe, plaide TrewFord, on whom to night I will be reuenged, and I will deliuer his wife into your hand. Follow, ſtraunge things in hand (M. Broome) follow.
Come, come: wee'll couch i' th Caſtle-ditch, till we ſee the light of our Fairies. Remember ſon Slender, my
I forſooth, I haue ſpoke with her, & we haue a nay-word, how to know one another. I come to her in white, and cry Mum; ſhe cries Budget, and by that we know one another.
That's good too: But what needes either your Mum, or her Budget? The white will decipher her well enough. It hath ſtrooke ten a'clocke.
The night is darke, Light and Spirits will be
Mr Doctor, my daughter is in green, when you ſee your time, take her by the hand, away with her to the Deauerie, and diſpatch it quickly: go before into the Parke: we two muſt go together.
I know vat I haue to do, adieu.
Fare you well (Sir.) my husband will not reioyce ſo much at the abuſe of Falſtaffe, as he will chafe at the Doctors marrying my daughter: But 'tis no mat
Where is Nan now? and her troop of Fai
They are all couch'd in a pit hard by Hernes Oake, with obſcur'd Lights; which at the very inſtant of Falſtaffes and our meeting, they will at once diſplay to the night.
That cannot chooſe but amaze him.
If he be not amaz'd he will be mock'd: If he be amaz'd, he will euery way be mock'd.
Wee'll betray him finely.
The houre drawes-on: to the Oake, to the Oake.
Trib, trib Fairies: Come, and remember your parts: be pold (I pray you) follow me into the pit, and when I giue the watch-'ords, do as I pid you: Come, come, trib, trib.
The Windſor-bell hath ſtroke twelue: the MiEuropa, Loue ſet on thy hornes. O powerfull Loue, that in ſome reLeda: O
My Doe, with the blacke Scut? Let the skie raine Potatoes: let it thunder, to the tune of Greene
Miſtris Page is come with me (ſweet hart.)
Diuide me like a brib'd-Bucke, each a Haunch: I will keepe my ſides to my ſelfe, my ſhoulders for the fellow of this walke; and my hornes I bequeath your husbands. Am I a Woodman, ha? Speake I like Herne the Hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conſcience, he makes reſtitution. As I am a true ſpirit, welcome.
Alas, what noiſe?
Heauen forgiue our ſinnes.
What ſhould this be?
Away, away.
Vilde worme, thou waſt ore-look'd euen in thy birth.
A triall, come.
Come: will this wood take fire?
Oh, oh, oh.
Nay do not flye, I thinke we haue watcht you now: VVill none but Herne the Hunter ſerue your turne?
And Maſter Broome, he hath enioyed nothing of Fords, but his Buck-basket, his cudgell, and twenty pounds of money, which muſt be paid to Mr
Broome, his horſes are arreſted for it, Mr
Broome.
Sir Iohn, we haue had ill lucke: wee could neuer meete: I will neuer take you for my Loue againe, but I will alwayes count you my Deere.
I do begin to perceiue that I am made an Aſſe.
I, and an Oxe too: both the proofes are ex
And theſe are not Fairies
Sir Iohn Falstaffe, ſerue Got, and leaue your deſires, and Fairies will not pinſe you.
VVell ſaid Fairy Hugh.
And leaue you your iealouzies too, I pray you.
I will neuer miſtruſt my wife againe, till thou art able to woo her in good Engliſh.
Haue I laid my braine in the Sun, and dri'de it, that it wants matter to preuent ſo groſſe ore-reaching as this? Am I ridden with a Welch Goate too? Shal I haue a Coxcombe of Frize? Tis time I were choak'd with a peece of toaſted Cheeſe.
Seeſe is not good to giue putter; your belly is al putter.
Seeſe, and Putter? Haue I liu'd to ſtand at the taunt of one that makes Fritters of Engliſh? This is e
Why Sir Iohn, do you thinke though wee would haue thruſt vertue out of our hearts by the head and ſhoulders, and haue giuen our ſelues without ſcru
What, a hodge-pudding? A bag of flax?
A puft man?
Old, cold, wither'd, and of intollerable en
And one that is as ſlanderous as Sathan?
And as poore as Iob?
And as wicked as his wife?
And giuen to Fornications, and to Tauernes, and Sacke, and Wine, and Metheglins, and to drinkings and ſwearings, and ſtarings? Pribles and prables?
Well, I am your Theame: you haue the ſtart of me. I am deiected: I am not able to anſwer the Welch Flannell, Ignorance it ſelfe is a plummet ore me, vſe me as you will.
Marry Sir, wee'l bring you to Windſor to one Mr
Broome, that you haue cozon'd of money, to whom you ſhould haue bin a Pander: ouer and aboue that you haue ſuffer'd, I thinke, to repay that money will be a bi
Yet be cheerefull Knightr
Slender hath married her daughter.
Doctors doubt that;
If Anne Page be my daughter, ſhe is (by this) Doctour Caius wife.
Whoa hoe, hoe, Father Page.
Diſpatch'd? Ile make the beſt in Glofterſhire know on't: would I were hang'd la, elſe.
Of what ſonne?
I came yonder at Eaton to marry Miſtris Anne Page, and ſhe's a great lubberly boy. If it had not bene i' th Church, I would haue ſwing'd him, or hee ſhould haue ſwing'd me. If I did not thinke it had beene Anne Page, would I might neuer ſtirre, and 'tis a Poſt-maſters Boy.
Vpon my life then, you tooke the wrong.
What neede you tell me that? I think ſo, when I tooke a Boy for a Girle: If I had bene married to him, (for all he was in womans apparrell) I would not haue had him.
I went to her in greene, and cried Mum, and ſhe cride budget, as Anne and I had appointed, and yet it was not Anne, but a Poſt-maſters boy.
Good George be not angry, I knew of your purpoſe: turn'd my daughter into white, and in
Ver is Miſtris Page: by gar I am cozoned, I ha married oon Garſoon, a boy; oon peſant, by gar. A boy, it is not An Page, by gar, I am cozened.
VVhy? did you take her in white?
I bee gar, and 'tis a boy: be gar, Ile raiſe all Windſor.
This is ſtrange: Who hath got the right Anne?
Pardon good father, good my mother pardon
Why went you not with Mr Doctor, maid?
I am glad, though you haue tane a ſpecial ſtand to ſtrike at me, that your Arrow hath glanc'd.
Well, what remedy? Fenton, heauen giue thee ioy, what cannot be eſchew'd, muſt be embrac'd.
When night-dogges run, all ſorts of Deere are chac'd.
EScalus.
My Lord.
Looke where he comes.
The heauens giue ſafety to your purpoſes.
Lead forth, and bring you backe in happi
Ile wait vpon your honor.
If the Duke, with the other Dukes, come not to compoſition with the King of Hungary, why then all the Dukes fall vpon the King.
Heauen grant vs its peace, but not the King of Hungaries.
Amen.
Thou conclud'ſt like the Sanctimonious Pirat, that went to ſea with the ten Commandements, but ſcrap'd one out of the Table.
Thou ſhalt not Steale?
I, that he raz'd.
Why? 'twas a commandement, to command the Captaine and all the reſt from their functions: they put forth to ſteale: There's not a Souldier of vs all, that in the thankſ-giuing before meate, do ralliſh the petition well, that praies for peace.
I neuer heard any Souldier diſlike it.
I beleeue thee: for I thinke thou neuer was't where Grace was ſaid.
No? a dozen times at leaſt.
What? In meeter?
In any proportion. or in any language.
I thinke, or in any Religion.
I, why not? Grace, is Grace, deſpight of all con
Well: there went but a paire of ſheeres be
I grant: as there may betweene the Liſts, and the Veluet. Thou art the Liſt.
And thou the Veluet; thou art good veluet; thou'rt a three pild-peece I warrant thee: I had as liefe be a Lyſt of an Engliſh Kerſey, as be pil'd, as thou art pil'd, for a French Veluet. Do I ſpeake feelingly now?
I thinke thou do'ſt: and indeed with moſt pain
I think I haue done my ſelfe wrong, haue I not?
Yes, that thou haſt; whether thou art tainted, or free.
Behold, behold, where Madam Mitigation comes. I haue purchaſ'd as many diſeaſes vnder her Roofe, As come to
To what, I pray?
Iudge.
To three thouſand Dollours a yeare.
I, and more.
A French crowne more.
Thou art alwayes figuring diſeaſes in me; but thou art full of error, I am ſound.
Nay, not (as one would ſay) healthy: but ſo ſound, as things that are hollow; thy bones are hollow; Impiety has made a feaſt of thee.
How now, which of your hips has the moſt profound Ciatica?
Well, well: there's one yonder arreſted, and carried to priſon, was worth fiue thouſand of you all.
Who's that I pray'thee?
Marry Sir, that's Claudio, Signior Claudio.
Claudio to priſon? 'tis not ſo.
Nay, but I know 'tis ſo: I ſaw him arreſted: ſaw him carried away: and which is more, within theſe three daies his head to be chop'd off.
But, after all this fooling, I would not haue it ſo: Art thou ſure of this?
I am too ſure of it: and it is for getting Madam Iulietta with childe.
Beleeue me this may be: he promis'd to meete me two howres ſince, and he was euer preciſe in promiſe keeping.
Beſides you know, it drawes ſomthing neere to the ſpeech we had to ſuch a purpoſe.
But moſt of all agreeing with the proclamatio
Away: let's goe learne the truth of it.
Thus, what with the war; what with the ſweat, what with the gallowes, and what with pouerty, I am Cuſtom-ſhrunke. How now? what's the newes with you.
Yonder man is carried to priſon.
Well: what has he done?
A Woman.
But what's his offence?
Groping for Trowts, in a peculiar Riuer.
What? is there a maid with child by him?
No: but there's a woman with maid by him you haue not heard of the proclamation, haue you?
What proclamation, man?
All howſes in the Suburbs of Vienna muſt bee pluck'd downe.
And what ſhall become of thoſe in the Citie?
They ſhall ſtand for ſeed: they had gon down to, but that a wiſe Burger put in for them.
But ſhall all our houſes of reſort in the Sub
To the ground, Miſtris.
Why heere's a change indeed in the Common
Come: feare not you: good Counſellors lacke no Clients: though you change your place, you neede not change your Trade: Ile bee your Tapſter ſtill; cou
What's to doe heere, Thomas Tapſter? let's withdraw?
Here comes Signior Claudio, led by the Prouoſt to priſon: and there's Madam Iuliet.
Fellow, why do'ſt thou ſhow me thus to th' world? Beare me to priſon, where I am committed.
I do it not in euill diſpoſition, But from Lord Angelo by ſpeciall charge.
Why how now Claudio ▪
whence comes this re
If I could ſpeake ſo wiſely vnder an arreſt, I would ſend for certaine of my Creditors: and yet, to ſay the truth, I had as lief haue the foppery of freedome, as the mortality of impriſonment: what's thy offence, Claudio?
What (but to ſpeake of) would offend againe.
What, is't murder?
No.
Lecherie?
Call it ſo.
Away, Sir, you muſt goe.
With childe, perhaps?
I warrant it is: And thy head ſtands ſo tickle on thy ſhoulders, that a milke-maid, if ſhe be in loue, may ſigh it off: Send after the Duke, and appeale to him.
I pray ſhee may; aſwell for the encouragement of the like, which elſe would ſtand vnder greeuous im
I thanke you good friend Lucio.
Within two houres.
Come Officer, away.
May your Grace ſpeake of it?
Gladly, my Lord.
And haue you Nuns no farther priuiledges?
Are not theſe large enough?
Hoa? peace be in this place.
Who's that which cals?
Peace and proſperitie: who is't that cals?
Woe me; for what?
Sir, make me not your ſtorie.
You doe blaſpheme the good, in mocking me.
Some one with childe by him? my coſen Iuliet?
Is ſhe your coſen?
Adoptedly, as ſchoole-maids change their names By vaine, though apt affection.
She it is.
Oh, let him marry her.
Alas: what poore Abilitie's in me, to doe him good.
Aſſay the powre you haue.
My power? alas, I doubt.
Ile ſee what I can doe.
But ſpeedily.
I take my leaue of you.
Good ſir, adieu.
Be it as your wiſedome will.
Where is the Prouoſt?
Here if it like your honour.
Come, bring them away: if theſe be good peo
How now Sir, what's your name? And what's the matter?
If it pleaſe your honour, I am the poore Dukes Conſtable, and my name is Elbow; I doe leane vpon Iu
Benefactors? Well: What Benefactors are they? Are they not Malefactors?
If it pleaſe your honour, I know not well what they are: But preciſe villaines they are, that I am ſure of and void of all prophanation in the world, that good Chriſtians ought to haue.
This comes off well: here's a wiſe Officer.
He cannot Sir: he's out at Elbow.
What are you Sir?
He Sir: a Tapſter Sir: parcell Baud: one that ſerues a bad woman: whoſe houſe Sir was (as they ſay) pluckt downe in the Suborbs: and now ſhee profeſſes a hot-houſe; which, I thinke is a very ill houſe too.
How know you that?
My wife Sir? whom I deteſt before heauen, and your honour.
How? thy wife?
I Sir: whom I thanke heauen is an honeſt wo
Do'ſt thou deteſt her therefore?
I ſay ſir, I will deteſt my ſelfe alſo, as well as ſhe, that this houſe, if it be not a Bauds houſe, it is pitty of her life, for it is a naughty houſe.
How do'ſt thou know that, Conſtable?
Marry ſir, by my wife, who, if ſhe had bin a wo
By the womans meanes?
I ſir, by Miſtris Ouer-dons meanes: but as ſhe ſpit in his face, ſo ſhe defide him.
Sir, if it pleaſe your honor, this is not ſo.
Proue it before theſe varlets here, thou honora
Doe you heare how he miſplaces?
Sir, ſhe came in great with childe: and longing (ſauing your honors reuerence) for ſtewd prewyns; ſir, we had but two in the houſe, which at that very diſtant time ſtood, as it were in a fruit diſh (a diſh of ſome three pence; your honours haue ſeene ſuch diſhes) they are not China-diſhes, but very good diſhes.
Go too: go too: no matter for the diſh ſir.
No indeede ſir not of a pin; you are therein in the right: but, to the point: As I ſay, this Miſtris Elbow, being (as I ſay) with childe, and being great bellied, and longing (as I ſaid) for prewyns: and hauing but two in the diſh (as I ſaid) Maſter Froth here, this very man, haFroth, I could not giue you three pence againe.
No indeede.
Very well: you being then (if you be remem
I, ſo I did indeede.
Why, very well: I telling you then (if you be remembred) that ſuch a one, and ſuch a one, were paſt cure of the thing you wot of, vnleſſe they kept very good diet, as I told you.
All this is true.
Why very well then.
Come: you are a tedious foole: to the purpoſe: what was done to Elbowes wife, that hee hath cauſe to complaine of? Come me to what was done to her.
Sir, your honor cannot come to that yet.
No ſir, nor I meane it not.
Sir, but you ſhall come to it, by your honours leaue: And I beſeech you, looke into Maſter Froth here ſir, a man of foure-ſcore pound a yeare; whoſe father died at Hallowmas: Was't not at Hallowmas Maſter Froth?
Allhallond-Eue.
Why very well: I hope here be truthes: he Sir, ſitting (as I ſay) in a lower chaire, Sir, 'twas in the bunch of Grapes, where indeede you haue a delight to ſit, haue you not?
I haue ſo, becauſe it is an open roome, and good for winter.
Why very well then: I hope here be truthes.
I thinke no leſſe: good morrow to your LordElbowes wife, once more?
Once Sir? there was nothing done to her once.
I beſeech you Sir, aske him what this man did to my wife.
I beſeech your honor, aske me.
Well ſir, what did this Gentleman to her?
I beſeech you ſir, looke in this Gentlemans face: good Maſter Froth looke vpon his honor; 'tis for a good purpoſe: doth your honor marke his face?
I ſir, very well.
Nay, I beſeech you marke it well.
Well, I doe ſo.
Doth your honor ſee any harme in his face?
Why no.
Ile be ſuppoſd vpon a booke, his face is the worſt thing about him: good then: if his face be the worſt thing about him, how could Maſter Froth doe the Con
He's in the right (Conſtable) what ſay you to it?
Firſt, and it like you, the houſe is a reſpected houſe; next, this is a reſpected fellow; and his Miſtris is a reſpected woman.
By this hand Sir, his wife is a more reſpected per
Varlet, thou lyeſt; thou lyeſt wicked varlet: the time is yet to come that ſhee was euer reſpected with man, woman, or childe.
Sir, ſhe was reſpected with him, before he mar
Which is the wiſer here; Iuſtice or Iniquitie? Is this true?
O thou caytiffe: O thou varlet: O thou wickHanniball; I reſpected with her, before I was married to her? If euer I was reſpected with her, or ſhe with me, let not your worſhip thinke mee the poore Dukes OffiHanniball, or ile haue mine action of battry on thee.
If he tooke you a box' oth' eare, you might haue your action of ſlander too.
Marry I thanke your good worſhip for it: what is't your Worſhips pleaſure I ſhall doe with this wick
Truly Officer, becauſe he hath ſome offences in him, that thou wouldſt diſcouer, if thou couldſt, let him continue in his courſes, till thou knowſt what they are.
Marry I thanke your worſhip for it: Thou ſeeſt thou wicked varlet now, what's come vpon thee. Thou art to continue now thou Varlet, thou art to continue.
Where were you borne, friend?
Here in Vienna, Sir.
Are you of foureſcore pounds a yeere?
Yes, and 't pleaſe you ſir.
So: what trade are you of, ſir?
A Tapſter, a poore widdowes Tapſter.
Your Miſtris name?
Miſtris Ouer-do
Hath ſhe had any more then one husband?
Nine, ſir: Ouer-don by the laſt.
Nine? come hether to me, Maſter Froth; Maſter Froth, I would not haue you acquainted with Tapſters; they will draw you Maſter Froth, and you wil hang them: get you gon, and let me heare no more of you.
I thanke your worſhip: for mine owne part, I neuer come into any roome in a Tap-houſe, but I am drawne in.
Well: no more of it Maſter Froth: farewell: Come you hether to me, Mr. Tapſter: what's your name Mr. Tapſter?
Pompey.
What elſe?
Bum, Sir.
Troth, and your bum is the greateſt thing about you, ſo that in the beaſtlieſt ſence, you are Pompey the great; Pompey, you are partly a bawd, Pompey; howſo
Truly ſir, I am a poore fellow that would liue.
How would you liue Pompey? by being a bawd? what doe you thinke of the trade Pompey? is it a lawfull trade?
If the Law would allow it, ſir.
But the Law will not allow it Pompey; nor it ſhall not be allowed in
Ʋienna.
Do's your Worſhip meane to geld and ſplay all the youth of the City?
No, Pompey.
Truely Sir, in my poore opinion they will too't then: if your worſhip will take order for the drabs and the knaues, you need not to feare the bawds.
There is pretty orders beginning I can tell you: It is but heading, and hanging.
If you head, and hang all that offend that way but for ten yeare together; you'll be glad to giue out a Commiſſion for more heads: if this law hold in Vienna ten yeare, ile rent the faireſt houſe in it after three pence a Bay: if you liue to ſee this come to paſſe, ſay Pompey told you ſo.
Thanke you good Pompey; and in requitall of your propheſie, harke you: I aduiſe you let me not finde you before me againe vpon any complaint whatſoeuer; no, not for dwelling where you doe: if I doe Pompey, I ſhall beat you to your Tent, and proue a ſhrewd Caeſar to you: in plaine dealing Pompey, I ſhall haue you whipt; ſo for this time, Pompey, fare you well.
I thanke your Worſhip for your good counſell; but I ſhall follow it as the fleſh and fortune ſhall better determine. Whip me? no, no, let Carman whip his Iade, The valiant heart's not whipt out of his trade.
Come hether to me, Maſter Elbow: come hither Maſter Conſtable: how long haue you bin in this place of Conſtable?
Seuen yeere, and a halfe ſir.
I thought by the readineſſe in the office, you had continued in it ſome time: you ſay ſeauen yeares toge
And a halfe ſir.
Alas, it hath beene great paines to you: they do you wrong to put you ſo oft vpon't. Are there not men in your Ward ſufficient to ſerue it?
'Faith ſir, few of any wit in ſuch matters: as they are choſen, they are glad to chooſe me for them; I do it for ſome peece of money, and goe through with all.
Looke you bring mee in the names of ſome ſixe or ſeuen, the moſt ſufficient of your pariſh.
To your Worſhips houſe ſir?
To my houſe: fare you well: what's a clocke, thinke you?
Eleuen, Sir.
I pray you home to dinner with me.
I humbly thanke you.
Lord Angelo is ſeuere.
Hee's hearing of a Cauſe; he will come ſtraight, I'le tell him of you.
Now, what's the matter Prouoſt?
Is it your will Claudio ſhall die to morrow?
Did not I tell thee yea? hadſt thou not order? Why do'ſt thou aske againe?
Hath he a Siſter?
'Saue your Honour.
Stay a little while: y' are welcome: what's your will?
Well: what's your ſuite.
Well: the matter?
Heauen giue thee mouing graces.
Muſt he needs die?
Maiden, no remedie.
I will not doe't.
But can you if you would?
Looke what I will not, that I cannot doe.
Hee's ſentenc'd, tis too late.
You are too cold.
Pray you be gone.
I, touch him: there's the vaine.
I, well ſaid.
Yet ſhew ſome pittie.
That's well ſaid.
Pray heauen ſhe win him.
Thou'rt i' th right (Girle) more o' that.
Art auis'd o' that? more on't.
Why doe you put theſe ſayings vpon me?
Gentle my Lord, turne backe.
I will bethinke me: come againe to morrow.
Hark, how Ile bribe you: good my Lord turn back.
How? bribe me?
I, with ſuch gifts that heauen ſhall ſhare with you.
You had mar'd all elſe.
Well: come to me to morrow.
Goe to: 'tis well; away.
Heauen keepe your honour ſafe.
At any time 'fore-noone.
'Saue your Honour.
Haile to you, Prouoſt, ſo I thinke you are.
I am the Prouoſt: whats your will, good Frier?
When muſt he dye?
Repent you (faire one) of the ſin you carry?
I doe; and beare the ſhame moſt patiently.
Ile gladly learne.
Loue you the man that wrong'd you?
Yes, as I loue the woman that wrong'd him.
Mutually.
Then was your ſin of heauier kinde then his.
I doe confeſſe it, and repent it (Father.)
'Tis pitty of him.
One Iſabell, a Siſter, deſires acceſſe to you,
I am come to know your pleaſure.
Euen ſo: heauen keepe your Honor.
Vnder your Sentence?
Yea.
'Tis ſet downe ſo in heauen, but not in earth.
How ſay you?
So.
True.
Then muſt your brother die.
We are all fraile.
Nay, women are fraile too.
Plainlie conceiue I loue you.
He ſhall not Iſabell if you giue me loue.
So then you hope of pardon from Lord Angelo?
What hoa? Peace heere; Grace, and good com
Who's there? Come in, the wiſh deſerues a welcome.
Deere ſir, ere long Ile viſit you againe.
Moſt bolie Sir; I thanke you.
My buſineſſe is a word or two with Claudio.
And verie welcom: looke Signior, here's your ſiſter.
Prouoſt, a word with you.
As manie as you pleaſe.
Bring them to heare me ſpeak, where I may be conceal'd.
Now ſiſter, what's the comfort?
Is there no remedie?
But is there anie?
Perpetuall durance?
But in what nature?
Let me know the point.
The prenzie, Angelo?
Oh heauens, it cannot be.
Thou ſhalt not do't.
Thankes deere Iſabell.
Be readie Claudio, for your death to morrow.
Which is the leaſt?
What ſaies my brother?
Death is a fearefull thing.
And ſhamed life, a hatefull.
Alas, alas.
Nay heare me Iſabell.
Oh heare me Iſabella.
Vouchſafe a word, yong ſiſter, but one word.
What is your Will.
Might you diſpenſe with your leyſure, I would by and by haue ſome ſpeech with you: the ſatiſfaction I would require, is likewiſe your owne benefit.
I haue no ſuperfluous leyſure, my ſtay muſt be ſtolen out of other affaires: but I will attend you a while.
Son, I haue ouer-heard what hath paſt between you & your ſiſter. Angelo had neuer the purpoſe to corAngelo, and I know this to be true, ther
Let me ask my ſiſter pardon, I am ſo out of loue with life, that I will ſue to be rid of it.
Hold you there: farewell: Prouoſt, a word with you.
What's your will (father?)
That now you are come, you wil be gone: leaue me a while with the Maid, my minde promiſes with my habit, no loſſe ſhall touch her by my company.
In good time.
The hand that hath made you faire, hath made you good: the goodnes that is cheape in beauty, makes beauty briefe in goodnes; but grace being the ſoule of your complexion, ſhall keepe the body of it euer faire: the aſſault that Angelo hath made to you, Fortune hath conuaid to my vnderſtanding; and but that frailty hath examples for his falling, I ſhould wonder at Angelo: how will you doe to content this Subſtitute, and to ſaue your Brother?
I am now going to reſolue him: I had rather my brother die by the Law, then my ſonne ſhould be vnAngelo: if euer he returne, and I can ſpeake to him, I will open my lips in vaine, or diſcouer his go
That ſhall not be much amiſſe: yet, as the mat
Let me heare you ſpeake farther; I haue ſpirit to do any thing that appeares not fowle in the truth of my ſpirit.
Vertue is bold, and goodnes neuer fearefull: Haue you not heard ſpeake of Mariana the ſiſter of Fredericke the great Souldier, who miſcarried at Sea?
I haue heard of the Lady, and good words went with her name.
Shee ſhould this Angelo haue married: was afFredericke was wrackt at Sea, hauing in that periſhed veſſell, the dowry of his ſiſter: but marke how heauily this befell to the poore Gentlewoman, there ſhe loſt a noble and renowned brother, in his loue toward her, euer moſt kinde and naturall: with him the portion and ſinew of her fortune, her marriage dowry: with both, her combynate-husband, this well-ſeeming Angelo.
Can this be ſo? did Angelo ſo leaue her?
Left her in her teares, & dried not one of them with his comfort: ſwallowed his vowes whole, preten
What a merit were it in death to take this poore maid from the world? what corruption in this life, that it will let this man liue? But how out of this can ſhee a
It is a rupture that you may eaſily heale: and the cure of it not onely ſaues your brother, but keepes you from diſhonor in doing it.
Shew me how (good Father.)
This fore-named Maid hath yet in her the conAngelo, anſwere his requiMariana aduantaged, and the corrupt Deputy ſcaled. The Maid will I frame, and make fit for his attempt: if you thinke well to carry this as you may, the doublenes of the benefit defends the deceit from reproofe. What thinke you of it?
The image of it giues me content already, and I truſt it will grow to a moſt proſperous perfection.
It lies much in your holding vp: haſte you ſpeeAngelo, if for this night he intreat you to his bed, giue him promiſe of ſatisfaction: I will preſently to S. Lukes, there at the moated-Grange recides this deieMariana; at that place call vpon me, and diſpatch with Angelo, that it may be quickly.
I thank you for this comfort: fare you well good father.
Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will needes buy and ſell men and women like beaſts, we ſhall haue all the world drinke browne & white baſtard.
Oh heauens, what ſtuffe is heere.
Twas neuer merry world ſince of two vſuries the merrieſt was put downe, and the worſer allow'd by order of Law; a fur'd gowne to keepe him warme; and furd with Foxe and Lamb-skins too, to ſignifie, that craft being richer then Innocency, ſtands for the facing.
Come your way ſir: bleſſe you good Father Frier.
And you good Brother Father; what offence hath this man made you, Sir?
Marry Sir, he hath offended the Law; and Sir, we take him to be a Theefe too Sir: for wee haue found vpon him Sir, a ſtrange Pick-lock, which we haue ſent to the Deputie.
He muſt before the Deputy Sir, he ha's giuen him warning: the Deputy cannot abide a Whore-ma
His necke will come to your waſt, a Cord ſir.
I ſpy comfort, I cry baile: Here's a Gentleman, and a friend of mine.
How now noble Pompey? What, at the wheels of Caeſar? Art thou led in triumph? What is there none of Pigmalions Images newly made woman to bee had now, for putting the hand in the pocket, and extracting clutch'd? What reply? Ha? What ſaiſt thou to this Tune, Matter, and Method? Is't not drown'd i' th laſt raine? Ha? What ſaiſt thou Trot? Is the world as it was Man? Which is the vvay? Is it ſad, and few words? Or how? The tricke of it?
Still thus, and thus: ſtill vvorſe?
How doth my deere Morſell, thy Miſtris? Pro
Troth ſir, ſhee hath eaten vp all her beefe, and ſhe is her ſelfe in the tub.
Why 'tis good: It is the right of it: it muſt be ſo. Euer your freſh Whore; and your pouder'd Baud, an vnſhun'd conſequence, it muſt be ſo. Art going to priPompey?
Yes faith ſir.
Why 'tis not amiſſe Pompey: farewell: goe ſay I ſent thee thether: for debt Pompey? Or how?
For being a baud; for being a baud.
Well, then impriſon him: If impriſonment be the due of a baud, why 'tis his rightPompey: Commend me to the priſon Pompey, you will turne good husband now Pompey, you vvill keepe the houſe.
I hope Sir, your good Worſhip wil be my baile?
No indeed vvil I not Pompey, it is not the wear: I will pray (Pompey) to encreaſe your bondage if you take it not patiently: Why, your mettle is the more: Adieu truſtie Pompey. Bleſſe you Friar.
And you.
Do's Bridge
paint ſtill,
Come your waies ſir, come.
You will not baile me then Sir?
Then Pompey, nor now: what newes abroad Frier? What newes?
Come your waies ſir, come.
I know none: can you tell me of any?
Some ſay he is with the Emperor of Ruſſia: other ſome, he is in Rome: but where is he thinke you?
I know not where: but whereſoeuer, I wiſh him well.
It was a mad fantaſticall tricke of him to ſteale from the State, and vſurpe the beggerie hee was neuer borne to: Lord Angelo Dukes it well in his abſence: he puts tranſgreſſion too't.
He do's well in't.
A little more lenitie to Lecherie would doe no harme in him: Something too crabbed that way, Frier.
It is too general a vice, and ſeueritie muſt cure it.
Yes in good ſooth, the vice is of a great kindred; it is vvell allied, but it is impoſſible to extirpe it quite, Frier, till eating and drinking be put downe. They ſay this Angelo vvas not made by Man and Woman, after this downe-right vvay of Creation: is it true, thinke you?
How ſhould he be made then?
Some report, a Sea-maid ſpawn'd him. Some, that he vvas begot betweene two Stock-fiſhes. But it is certaine, that when he makes water, his Vrine is con
You are pleaſant ſir, and ſpeake apace.
Why, what a ruthleſſe thing is this in him, for the rebellion of a Cod-peece, to take away the life of a man? Would the Duke that is abſent haue done this? Ere he vvould haue hang'd a man for the getting a hun
I neuer heard the abſent Duke much detected for Women, he was not enclin'd that vvay.
Oh Sir, you are deceiu'd.
'Tis not poſſible.
Who, not the Duke? Yes, your beggar of fifty: and his vſe was, to put a ducket in her Clack-diſh; the Duke had Crochets in him. Hee would be drunke too, that let me informe you.
You do him wrong, ſurely.
Sir, I vvas an inward of his: a ſhie fellow vvas the Duke, and I beleeue I know the cauſe of his vvith
What (I prethee) might be the cauſe?
No, pardon: 'Tis a ſecret muſt bee looke with
Wiſe? Why no queſtion but he was.
A very ſuperficiall, ignorant, vnweighing fellow
Either this is Enuie in you, Folly, or miſta
Sir, I know him, and I loue him.
Loue talkes with better knowledge, & know
Come Sir, I know what I know.
I can hardly beleeue that, ſince you know not what you ſpeake. But if euer the Duke returne (as our praiers are he may) let mee deſire you to make your an
Sir my name is Lucio, wel known to the Duke.
He ſhall know you better Sir, if I may liue to report you.
I feare you not.
O, you hope the Duke will returne no more: or you imagine me to vnhurtfull an oppoſite: but indeed I can doe you little harme: You'll for-ſweare this a
Ile be hang'd firſt: Thou art deceiu'd in mee Friar. But no more of this: Canſt thou tell if Claudio die to morrow, or no?
Why ſhould he die Sir?
Why? For filling a bottle with a Tunne-diſh: I would the Duke we talke of were return'd againe: this vngenitur'd Agent will vn-people the Prouince with Continencie. Sparrowes muſt not build in his houſeClaudio is condemned for vntruſſing. Farwell good Friar, I prethee pray for me: The Duke (I ſay to thee againe) would eate Mutton on Fridaies. He's now paſt it, yet (and I ſay to thee) hee would mouth with a beg
Go, away with her to priſon.
Good my Lord be good to mee, your Honor is accounted a mercifull man: good my Lord.
Double, and trebble admonition, and ſtill for
A Bawd of eleuen yeares continuance, may it pleaſe your Honor.
My Lord, this is one Lucio's information aKate Keepe-downe was with childe by him in the Dukes time, he promis'd her marriage: his Childe is a yeere and a quarter olde come Philip and Iacob: I haue kept it my ſelfe; and ſee how hee goes about to abuſe me.
That fellow is a fellow of much Licenſe: Let him be call'd before vs. Away with her to priſon: Goe too, no more words. Prouoſt, my Brother Angelo will not be alter'd, Claudio muſt die to morrow: Let him be furniſh'd with Diuines, and haue all charitable prepara
So pleaſe you, this Friar hath beene with him, and aduis'd him for th' entertainment of death.
Good'euen, good Father.
Bliſſe, and goodneſſe on you.
Of whence are you?
What newes abroad i' th World?
None, but that there is ſo great a Feauor on goodneſſe, that the diſſolution of it muſt cure it. No
What pleaſure was he giuen to?
Rather reioycing to ſee another merry, then merrrie at anie thing which profeſt to make him reioice. A Gentleman of all temperance. But leaue wee him to his euents, with a praier they may proue proſperous, & let me deſire to know, how you finde Claudio prepar'd? I am made to vnderſtand, that you haue lent him viſita
He profeſſes to haue receiued no ſiniſter mea
You haue paid the heauens your Function, and the priſoner the verie debt of your Calling. I haue la
I am going to viſit the priſoner, Fare you well.
I pray you tell me, hath any body enquir'd for mee here to day; much vpon this time haue I promiſ'd here to meete.
You haue not bin enquir'd after: I haue ſat here all day.
I doe conſtantly beleeue you: the time is come euen now. I ſhall craue your forbearance a little, may be I will call vpon you anone for ſome aduantage to your ſelfe.
I am alwayes bound to you.
But ſhall you on your knowledge find this way?
I doe deſire the like.
Do you perſwade your ſelfe that I reſpect you?
Good Frier, I know you do, and haue found it.
Wilt pleaſe you walke aſide.
Feare me not.
Come hither ſirha; can you cut off a mans head?
Come ſir, leaue me your ſnatches, and yeeld mee a direct anſwere. To morrow morning are to die Claudio and
Sir, I haue beene an vnlawfull bawd, time out of minde, but yet I will bee content to be a lawfull hang-man: I would bee glad to receiue ſome inſtruction from my fellow partner.
What hoa, Abhorſon: where's Abhorſon there?
Doe you call ſir?
Sirha, here's a fellow will helpe you to morrow in your execution: if you thinke it meet, compound with him by the yeere, and let him abide here with you, if not, vſe him for the preſent, and diſmiſſe him, hee cannot plead his eſtimation with you: he hath beene a Bawd.
A Bawd Sir? fie vpon him, he will diſcredit our myſterie.
Goe too Sir, you waigh equallie: a feather will turne the Scale.
Pray ſir, by your good fauor: for ſurely ſir, a good fauor you haue, but that you haue a hanging look: Doe you call ſir, your occupation a Myſterie?
I Sir, a Miſterie.
Painting Sir, I haue heard ſay, is a Miſterie; and your Whores ſir, being members of my occupation, v
Sir, it is a Miſterie.
Proofe.
Euerie true mans apparrell fits your Theefe.
If it be too little for your theefe, your true man thinkes it bigge enough. If it bee too bigge for your Theefe, your Theefe thinkes it little enough: So euerie true mans apparrell fits your Theefe.
Are you agreed?
Sir, I will ſerue him: For I do finde your Hang-man is a more penitent Trade then your Bawd: he doth oftner aske forgiueneſſe.
You ſirrah, prouide your blocke and your Axe to morrow, foure a clocke.
Come on (Bawd) I will inſtruct thee in my Trade: follow.
I do deſire to learne ſir: and I hope, if you haue occaſion to vſe me for your owne turne, you ſhall finde me y' are. For truly ſir, for your kindneſſe, I owe you a good turne.
None ſince the Curphew rung.
Not Iſabell?
No.
They will then er't be long.
What comfort is for Claudio?
There's ſome in hope.
It is a bitter Deputie.
None Sir, none.
This is his Lords man.
And heere comes Claudio's pardon.
I ſhall obey him.
Pray you let's heare.
The Letter. Whatſoeuer you may heare to the contrary, let Claudio be ex
ecuted by foure of the clocke, and in the afternoone Bernar dine: For my better ſatisfaction, let mee haue Claudios head ſent me by fiue. Let this be duely performed with a thought that more depends on it, then we muſt yet deliuer. Thus faile not to doe your Office, as you will anſwere it at your perill.
What ſay you to this Sir?
What is that Barnardine, who is to be execu
How came it, that the abſent Duke had not either deliuer'd him to his libertie, or executed him? I haue heard it was euer his manner to do ſo.
His friends ſtill wrought Repreeues for him: And indeed his fact till now in the gouernment of Lord Angelo, came not to an vndoubtfull proofe.
It is now apparant?
Moſt manifeſt, and not denied by himſelfe.
A man that apprehends death no more dread
He wants aduice.
He wil heare none: he hath euermore had the li
More of him anon: There is written in your brow Prouoſt, honeſty and conſtancie; if I reade it not truly, my ancient skill beguiles me: but in the boldnes of my cunning, I will lay my ſelfe in hazard: Claudio, whom heere you haue warrant to execute, is no greater forfeit to the Law, then Angelo who hath ſentenc'd him. To make you vnderſtand this in a manifeſted effect, I craue but foure daies reſpit: for the which, you are to do me both a preſent, and a dangerous courteſie.
Pray Sir, in what?
In the delaying death.
Alacke, how may I do it? Hauing the houre liAngelo? I may make my caſe as Claudio's, to croſſe this in the ſmalleſt.
Oh, death's a great diſguiſer, and you may adde to it; Shaue the head, and tie the beard, and ſay it was the deſire of the penitent to be ſo bar'de before his death: you know the courſe is common. If any thing fall to you vpon this, more then thankes and good for
Pardon me, good Father, it is againſt my oath.
Were you ſworne to the Duke, or to the De
To him, and to his Subſtitutes.
You will thinke you haue made no offence, if the Duke auouch the iuſtice of your dealing?
But what likelihood is in that?
Not a reſemblance, but a certainty; yet ſince I ſee you fearfull, that neither my coate, integrity, nor perſwaſion, can with eaſe attempt you, I wil go further then I meant, to plucke all feares out of you. Looke you Sir, heere is the hand and Seale of the Duke: you know the Charracter I doubt not, and the Signet is not ſtrange to you?
I know them both.
The Contents of this, is the returne of the Duke; you ſhall anon ouer-reade it at your pleaſure: where you ſhall finde within theſe two daies, he wil be heere. This is a thing that Angelo knowes not, for hee this very day receiues letters of ſtrange tenor, perchance of the Dukes death, perchance entering into ſome MoBarnardines head: I will giue him a preſent ſhrift, and aduiſe him for a better place. Yet you are amaz'd, but this ſhall abſolutely re
I am as well acquainted heere, as I was in our houſe of profeſſion: one would thinke it vvere Miſtris Ouer-dons owne houſe, for heere be manie of her olde Cuſtomers. Firſt, here's yong Mr
Raſh, hee's in for a commoditie of browne paper, and olde Ginger, nine ſcore and ſeuenteene pounds, of which hee made fiue Markes readie money: marrie then, Ginger was not much in requeſt, for the olde Women vvere all dead. Then is there heere one Mr
Caper, at the ſuite of Maſter Three-Pile the Mercer, for ſome foure ſuites of Peach-colour'd Satten, which now peaches him a beggar. Then haue vve heere, yong Dizie, and yong Mr
Deepe-vow, and Mr
Copperſpurre, and Mr
Starue-Lackey the RaDrop-heire that kild luPudding, and Mr
Forthlight the Tilter, and braue Mr
Shootie the great Traueller, and wilde Halfe-Canne that ſtabb'd Pots, and I thinke fortie more, all great doers in our Trade, and are now for the Lords ſake.
Sirrah, bring Barnardine hether.
Mr
Barnardine, you muſt riſe and be hang'd, Mr
Barnardine.
What hoa Barnardine.
A pox o' your throats: who makes that noyſe there? What are you?
Away you Rogue, away, I am ſleepie.
Pray Maſter Barnardine, awake till you are ex
Go in to him, and fetch him out.
He is comming Sir, he is comming: I heare his Straw ruſſle.
Is the Axe vpon the blocke, ſirrah?
Verie readie Sir.
Truly Sir, I would deſire you to clap into your prayers: for looke you, the Warrants come.
Oh, the better Sir: for he that drinkes all night, and is hanged betimes in the morning, may ſleepe the ſounder all the next day.
Looke you Sir, heere comes your ghoſtly Fa
Sir, induced by my charitie, and hearing how haſtily you are to depart, I am come to aduiſe you, Comfort you, and pray with you.
Friar, not I: I haue bin drinking hard all night, and I will haue more time to prepare mee, or they ſhall beat out my braines with billets: I will not conſent to die this day, that's certaine.
I ſweare I will not die to day for anie mans per
But heare you:
Not a word: if you haue anie thing to ſay to me, come to my Ward: for thence will not I to day.
Now Sir, how do you finde the priſoner?
I am your free dependant.
Heere is the head, Ile carrie it my ſelfe.
Ile make all ſpeede.
Peace hoa, be heere.
Hoa, by your leaue.
Good morning to you, faire, and gracious daughter.
Nay, but it is not ſo.
Oh, I wil to him, and plucke out his eies.
You ſhal not be admitted to his ſight.
I am directed by you.
Not within Sir.
Oh prettie Iſabella, I am pale at mine heart, to ſee thine eyes ſo red: thou muſt be patient; I am faine to dine and ſup with water and bran: I dare not for my head fill my belly. One fruitful Meale would ſet mee too't: but they ſay the Duke will be heere to Morrow. By my troth Iſabell I lou'd thy brother, if the olde fan
Sir, the Duke is marueilous little beholding to your reports, but the beſt is, he liues not in them.
Friar, thou knoweſt not the Duke ſo wel as I do: he's a better woodman then thou tak'ſt him for.
Well: you'l anſwer this one day. Fare ye well.
You haue told me too many of him already ſir if they be true: if not true, none were enough.
I was once before him for getting a Wench with childe.
Did you ſuch a thing?
Sir your company is fairer then honeſt, reſt you well.
By my troth Ile go with thee to the lanes end: if baudy talke offend you, we'el haue very litle of it: nay Friar, I am a kind of Burre, I ſhal ſticke.
Euery Letter he hath writ, hath diſuouch'd other.
In moſt vneuen and diſtracted manner, his actions ſhow much like to madneſſe, pray heauen his wiſedome bee not tainted: and why meet him at the gates and re
I gheſſe not.
And why ſhould wee proclaime it in an howre before his entring, that if any craue redreſſe of iniuſtice, they ſhould exhibit their petitions in the ſtreet?
He ſhowes his reaſon for that: to haue a diſpatch of Complaints, and to deliuer vs from deuices heere
Well: I beſeech you let it bee proclaim'd be
I ſhall ſir: fare you well.
It ſhall be ſpeeded well.
Be rul'd by him.
I would Frier Peter
Oh peace, the Frier is come.
Happy returne be to your royall grace.
You make my bonds ſtill greater.
By courſe of Iuſtice.
And ſhe will ſpeake moſt bitterly, and ſtrange.
Nay it is ten times ſtrange?
That's he indeede.
You were not bid to ſpeake.
I warrant your honor.
The warrant's for your ſelfe: take heede to't.
This Gentleman told ſomewhat of my Tale.
Right.
That's ſomewhat madly ſpoken.
Mended againe: the matter: proceed.
This is moſt likely.
Oh that it were as like as it is true.
One that I would were heere, Frier Lodowick.
My Lord, moſt villanouſly, beleeue it.
What, are you married?
No my Lord.
Are you a Maid?
No my Lord.
A Widow then?
Neither, my Lord.
Why you are nothing then: neither Maid, Wi
My Lord, ſhe may be a Puncke: for many of them, are neither Maid, Widow, nor Wife.
Silence that fellow: I would he had ſome cauſe to prattle for himſelfe.
Well my Lord.
He was drunk then, my Lord, it can be no better.
For the benefit of ſilence, would thou wert ſo to.
Well, my Lord.
This is no witneſſe for Lord Angelo.
Charges ſhe moe then me?
Not that I know.
No? you ſay your husband.
This is a ſtrange abuſe: Let's ſee thy face.
Know you this woman?
Carnallie ſhe ſaies.
Sirha, no more.
Enoug my Lord.
My Lord, wee'll doe it throughly: Signior Lucio, did not you ſay you knew that Frier
Cucullus non facit Monachum, honeſt in nothing but in his Clothes, and one that hath ſpoke moſt villa
We ſhall intreat you to abide heere till he come, and inforce them againſt him: we ſhall finde this Frier a notable fellow.
As any in Vienna, on my word.
Call that ſame Iſabell here once againe, I would ſpeake with her: pray you, my Lord, giue mee leaue to queſtion, you ſhall ſee how Ile handle her.
Not better then he, by her owne report.
Say you?
Marry ſir, I thinke, if you handled her priuately
I will goe darkely to worke with her.
That's the way: for women are light at mid
In very good time: ſpeake not you to him, till we call vpon you.
Mum.
Come Sir, did you ſet theſe women on to ſlanAngelo? they haue confeſ'd you did.
'Tis falſe.
How? Know you where you are?
This is the raſcall: this is he I ſpoke of.
'Tis he, my Lord: come hither goodman bald-pate, doe you know me?
Oh, did you ſo? and do you remember what you ſaid of the Duke.
Moſt notedly Sir.
Do you ſo Sir: And was the Duke a fleſh-mon
You muſt (Sir) change perſons with me, ere you make that my report: you indeede ſpoke ſo of him, and much more, much worſe.
Oh thou damnable fellow: did not I plucke thee by the noſe, for thy ſpeeches?
I proteſt, I loue the Duke, as I loue my ſelfe.
Harke how the villaine would cloſe now, after his treaſonable abuſes.
Such a fellow is not to be talk'd withall: Away with him to priſon: Where is the Prouoſt? away with him to priſon: lay bolts enough vpon him: let him ſpeak no more: away with thoſe Giglets too
Stay Sir, ſtay a while.
What, reſiſts he? helpe him Lucio.
Come ſir, come ſir, come ſir: foh ſir, why you bald-pated lying raſcall: you muſt be hooded muſt you? ſhow your knaues viſage with a poxe to you: ſhow your ſheepe-biting face, and be hang'd an houre: will't not off?
This may proue worſe then hanging.
I was my Lord.
I doe my Lord.
Neuer craue him, we are definitiue.
Gentle my Liege.
He dies for Claudio's death.
Meerely my Lord.
It was commanded ſo.
Had you a ſpeciall warrant for the deed?
No my good Lord: it was by priuate meſſage.
What's he?
His name is Barnardine.
Which is that Barnardine?
This my Lord.
Faith my Lord, I ſpoke it but according to the trick: if you will hang me for it you may: but I had ra
I beſeech your Highneſſe doe not marry me to a Whore: your Highneſſe ſaid euen now I made you a Duke, good my Lord do not recompence me, in making me a Cuckold.
I will my Lord.
Sir, I commend you to your owne content.
To me ſir? why you gaue no gold to me?
Thy Miſtris markes? what Miſtris ſlaue haſt thou?
Why ſhould their libertie then ours be more?
Becauſe their buſineſſe ſtill lies out adore.
Looke when I ſerue him ſo, he takes it thus.
Oh, know he is the bridle of your will.
There's none but aſſes will be bridled ſo.
This ſeruitude makes you to keepe vnwed.
Not this, but troubles of the marriage bed.
But were you wedded, you wold bear ſome ſway
Ere I learned loue; Ile practiſe to obey.
How if your husband ſtart ſome other where?
Till he come home againe, I would for beare.
Say, is your tardie maſter now at hand?
Nay, hee's at too hands with mee, and that my two eares can witneſſe.
Say, didſt thou ſpeake with him? knowſt thou his minde?
Spake hee ſo doubtfully, thou couldſt not feele his meaning.
Nay, hee ſtrooke ſo plainly, I could too well feele his blowes; and withall ſo doubtfully, that I could ſcarce vnderſtand them.
Why Miſtreſſe, ſure my Maſter is horne mad.
Horne mad, thou villaine?
Quoth who?
Quoth my Maſter, I know quoth he, no houſe, no wife, no miſtreſſe: ſo that my arrant due vnto my tongue, I thanke him, I bare home vpon my ſhoulders: for in concluſion, he did beat me there.
Go back againe, thou ſlaue, & fetch him home.
Backe ſlaue, or I will breake thy pate a-croſſe.
Hence prating peſant, fetch thy Maſter home.
Fie how impatience lowreth in your face.
Selfe-harming Iealouſie; fie beat it hence.
How manie fond fooles ſerue mad Ielouſie?
What anſwer ſir? when ſpake I ſuch a word?
Euen now, euen here, not halfe an howre ſince.
Sconce call you it? ſo you would leaue batte
Doſt thou not know?
Nothing ſir, but that I am beaten.
Shall I tell you why?
I ſir, and wherefore; for they ſay, euery why hath a wherefore.
Why firſt for flowting me, and then wherefore, for vrging it the ſecond time to me.
Was there euer anie man thus beaten out of ſeaſon, when in the why and the wherefore, is neither rime nor reaſon. Well ſir, I thanke you.
Thanke me ſir, for what?
Marry ſir, for this ſomething that you gaue me for nothing.
Ile make you amends next, to giue you nothing for ſomething. But ſay ſir, is it dinner time?
No ſir, I thinke the meat wants that I haue.
In good time ſir: what's that?
Baſting.
Well ſir, then 'twill be drie.
If it be ſir, I pray you eat none of it.
Your reaſon?
Leſt it make you chollericke, and purchaſe me another drie baſting.
Well ſir, learne to ieſt in good time, there's a time for all things.
I durſt haue denied that before you vvere ſo chollericke.
By what rule ſir?
Marry ſir, by a rule as plaine as the plaine bald pate of Father time himſelfe.
Let's heare it.
There's no time for a man to recouer his haire that growes bald by nature.
May he not doe it by fine and recouerie?
Yes, to pay a fine for a perewig, and recouer the loſt haire of another man.
Why, is Time ſuch a niggard of haire, being (as it is) ſo plentifull an excrement?
Becauſe it is a bleſſing that hee beſtowes on beaſts, and what he hath ſcanted them in haire, hee hath giuen them in wit.
Why, but theres manie a man hath more haire then wit.
Not a man of thoſe but he hath the wit to loſe his haire.
Why thou didſt conclude hairy men plain dea
The plainer dealer, the ſooner loſt; yet he loo
For what reaſon.
For two, and ſound ones to.
Nay not ſound I pray you.
Sure ones then.
Nay, not ſure in a thing falſing.
Certaine ones then.
Name them.
The one to ſaue the money that he ſpends in trying: the other, that at dinner they ſhould not drop in his porrage.
You would all this time haue prou'd, here is no time for all things.
Marry and did ſir: namely, in no time to re
But your reaſon was not ſubſtantiall, why there is no time to recouer.
Thus I mend it: Time himſelfe is bald, and therefore to the worlds end, will haue bald followers.
I knew 'twould be a bald concluſion: but ſoft, who wafts vs yonder.
By Dromio?
By me.
I ſir? I neuer ſaw her till this time.
I neuer ſpake with her in all my life.
Dromio, goe bid the ſeruants ſpred for dinner.
I am transformed Maſter, am I not?
I thinke thou art in minde, and ſo am I.
Nay Maſter, both in minde, and in my ſhape.
Thou haſt thine owne forme.
No, I am an Ape.
If thou art chang'd to ought, 'tis to an Aſſe.
Maſter, ſhall I be Porter at the gate?
I, and let none enter, leaſt I breake your pate.
Come, come, Antipholus, we dine to late.
I thinke thou art an aſſe.
I hold your dainties cheap ſir, & your welcom deer.
Good meat ſir is comon that euery churle affords.
And welcome more common, for thats nothing but words.
Small cheere and great welcome, makes a mer
Maud, Briget, Marian, Ciſley, Gillian, Ginn.
What patch is made our Porter? my Maſter ſtayes in the ſtreet.
Let him walke from whence he came, leſt hee catch cold on's feet.
Who talks within there? hoa, open the dore.
Right ſir, Ile tell you when, and you'll tell me wherefore.
Wherefore? for my dinner: I haue not din'd to day.
Nor to day here you muſt not come againe when you may.
What art thou that keep'ſt mee out from the howſe I owe?
The Porter for this time Sir, and my name is Dromio.
What a coile is there Dromio? who are thoſe at the gate?
Let my Maſter in Luce.
Faith no, hee comes too late, and ſo tell your Maſter.
Haue at you with another, that's when? can you tell?
If thy name be called Luce, Luce thou haſt an
Doe you heare you minion, you'll let vs in I hope?
I thought to haue askt you.
And you ſaid no.
So come helpe, well ſtrooke, there was blow for blow.
Thou baggage let me in.
Can you tell for whoſe ſake?
Maſter, knocke the doore hard.
Let him knocke till it ake.
You'll crie for this minion, if I beat the doore downe.
What needs all that, and a paire of ſtocks in the towne?
Who is that at the doore yt keeps all this noiſe?
By my troth your towne is troubled with vn
Are you there Wife? you might haue come before.
Your wife ſir knaue? go get you from the dore.
If you went in paine Maſter, this knaue wold goe ſore.
Heere is neither cheere ſir, nor welcome, we would faine haue either.
In debating which was beſt, wee ſhall part with neither.
They ſtand at the doore, Maſter, bid them welcome hither.
There is ſomething in the winde, that we can
Go fetch me ſomething, Ile break ope the gate.
Breake any breaking here, and Ile breake your knaues pate.
It ſeemes thou want'ſt breaking, out vpon thee hinde.
Here's too much out vpon thee, I pray thee let me in.
I, when fowles haue no feathers, and fiſh haue no ſin.
Well, Ile breake in: go borrow me a crow.
Go, get thee gon, fetch me an iron Crow.
Ile meet you at that place ſome houre hence.
Do ſo, this ieſt ſhall coſt me ſome expence.
What are you mad, that you doe reaſon ſo?
Not mad, but mated, how I doe not know.
It is a fault that ſpringeth from your eie.
For gazing on your beames faire ſun being by.
Gaze when you ſhould, and that will cleere your ſight.
As good to winke ſweet loue, as looke on night.
Why call you me loue? Call my ſiſter ſo.
Thy ſiſters ſiſter.
That's my ſiſter.
All this my ſiſter is, or elſe ſhould be.
Why how now Dromio, where run'ſt thou ſo faſt?
Doe you know me ſir? Am I Dromio? Am I your man? Am I my ſelfe?
Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thy ſelfe.
I am an aſſe, I am a womans man, and beſides my ſelfe.
What womans man? and how beſides thy ſelfe?
What claime laies ſhe to thee?
Marry ſir, ſuch claime as you would lay to your horſe, and ſhe would haue me as a beaſt, not that I bee
What is ſhe?
A very reuerent body: I ſuch a one, as a man may not ſpeake of, without he ſay ſir reuerence, I haue but leane lucke in the match, and yet is ſhe a wondrous fat marriage.
How doſt thou meane a fat marriage?
Marry ſir, ſhe's the Kitchin wench, & al greaſe, and I know not what vſe to put her too, but to make a Lampe of her, and run from her by her owne light. I warrant, her ragges and the Tallow in them, will burne a Poland Winter: If ſhe liues till doomeſday, ſhe'l burne a weeke longer then the whole World.
What complexion is ſhe of?
Swart like my ſhoo, but her face nothing like ſo cleane kept: for why? ſhe ſweats a man may goe o
That's a fault that water will mend.
No ſir, 'tis in graine, Noahs ſtood could not do it.
What's her name?
Nell Sir: but her name is three quarters, that's an Ell and three quarters, will not meaſure her from hip to hip.
Then ſhe beares ſome bredth?
No longer from head to foot, then from hippe to hippe: ſhe is ſphericall, like a globe: I could find out Countries in her.
In what part of her body ſtands Ireland?
Marry ſir in her buttockes, I found it out by the bogges.
Where Scotland?
I found it by the barrenneſſe, hard in the palme of the hand.
Where France?
In her forhead, arm'd and reuerted, making warre againſt her heire.
Where England?
I look'd for the chalkle Cliffes, but I could find no whiteneſſe in them. But I gueſſe, it ſtood in her chin by the ſalt theume that ranne betweene France, and it.
Where Spaine?
Faith I ſaw it not: but I felt it hot in her breth.
Where America, the Indies?
Oh ſir, vpon her noſe, all ore embelliſhed with Rubies, Carbuncles, Saphires, declining their rich Aſ
Where ſtood Belgia, the Netherlands?
Oh ſir, I did not looke ſo low. To conclude, this drudge or Diuiner layd claime to mee, call'd mee Dromio, ſwore I was aſſur'd to her, told me what priuie markes I had about mee, as the marke of my ſhoulder, the Mole in my necke, the great Wart on my left arme, that I amaz'd ranne from her as a witch. And I thinke, if my breſt had not beene made of faith, and my heart of ſteele, ſhe had transform'd me to a Curtull dog, & made me turne i' th wheele.
Mr
Antipholus.
I that's my name.
What is your will that I ſhal do with this?
What pleaſe your ſelfe ſir: I haue made it for you.
Made it for me ſir, I beſpoke it not.
You are a merry man ſir, fare you well.
That labour may you ſaue: See where he comes.
I buy a thouſand pound a yeare, I buy a rope.
Then you will bring the Chaine to her your ſelfe.
No beare it with you, leaſt I come not time e
Well ſir, I will? Haue you the Chaine about you?
The houre ſteales on, I pray you ſir diſpatch.
You heare how he importunes me, the Chaine.
Why giue it to my wife, and fetch your mony.
I anſwer you? What ſhould I anſwer you.
The monie that you owe me for the Chaine.
I owe you none, till I receiue the Chaine.
You know I gaue it you halfe an houre ſince.
You gaue me none, you wrong mee much to ſay ſo.
Well Officer, arreſt him army ſuite.
I do, and charge you in the Dukes name to o
I do arreſt you ſir, you heare the ſuite.
A ſhip you ſent me too, to hier waftage.
Firſt he deni'de you had in him no right.
He meant he did me none: the more my ſpight
Then ſwore he that he was a ſtranger heere.
And true he ſwore, though yet forſworne hee were.
Then pleaded I for you.
And what ſaid he?
That loue I begg'd for you, he begg'd of me.
With what perſwaſion did he tempt thy loue?
Did'ſt ſpeake him faire?
Haue patience I beſeech.
Here goe: the deske, the purſe, ſweet now make haſte.
How haſt thou loſt thy breath?
By running faſt.
Where is thy Maſter Dromio? Is he well?
Why man, what is the matter?
I doe not know the matter, hee is reſted on the caſe.
What is he arreſted? tell me at whoſe ſuite?
I know not at whoſe ſuite he is areſted well; but is in a ſuite of buffe which reſted him, that can I tell, will you ſend him Miſtris redemption, the monie in his deske.
What, the chaine?
The houres come backe, that did I neuer here.
Oh yes, if any houre meete a Serieant, a turnes backe for verie feare.
As if time were in debt: how fondly do'ſt thou reaſon?
Maſter, here's the gold you ſent me for: what haue you got the picture of old Adam new apparel'd?
What gold is this? What Adam do'ſt thou meane?
Not that Adam that kept the Paradiſe: but that Adam that keepes the priſon; hee that goes in the calues-skin, that was kil'd for the Prodigall: hee that came behinde you ſir, like an euill angel, and bid you for
I vnderſtand thee not.
No? why 'tis a plaine caſe: he that went like a Baſe-Viole in a caſe of leather; the man ſir, that when gentlemen are tired giues them a ſob, and reſts them: he ſir, that takes pittie on decaied men, and giues them ſuites of durance: he that ſets vp his reſt to doe more ex
What thou mean'ſt an officer?
I ſir, the Serieant of the Band: he that brings any man to anſwer it that breakes his Band: one that thinkes a man alwaies going to bed, and ſaies, God giue you good reſt.
Why ſir, I brought you word an houre ſince, that the Barke Expedition put forth to night, and then were you hindred by the Serieant to tarry for the Hoy Delay: Here are the angels that you ſent for to deliuer you.
Sathan auoide, I charge thee tempt me not.
Maſter, is this Miſtris Sathan?
It is the diuell.
Nay, ſhe is worſe, ſhe is the diuels dam: And here ſhe comes in the habit of a light wench, and thereof comes, that the wenches ſay God dam me, That's as much to ſay, God make me a light wench: It is writergo, light wenches will burne, come not neere her.
Maſter, if do expect ſpoon-meate, or beſpeake a long ſpoone.
Why Dromio?
Marrie he muſt haue a long ſpoone that muſt eate with the diuell.
Some diuels aske but the parings of ones naile,
Auant thou witch: Come Dromio let vs go.
Flie pride ſaies the Pea-cocke, Miſtris that you know.
Here's that I warrant you will pay them all.
But where's the Money?
Why ſir, I gaue the Monie for the Rope.
Fiue hundred Duckets villaine for a rope?
Ile ſerue you ſir fiue hundred at the rate.
To what end did I bid thee hie thee home?
To a ropes end ſir, and to that end am I re
And to that end ſir, I will welcome you.
Good ſir be patient.
Nay 'tis for me to be patient, I am in aduer
Good now hold thy tongue.
Nay, rather perſwade him to hold his hands.
Thou whoreſon ſenſeleſſe Villaine.
I would I were ſenſeleſſe ſir, that I might not feele your blowes.
Thou art ſenſible in nothing but blowes, and ſo is an Aſſe.
I am an Aſſe indeede, you may prooue it by my long eares. I haue ſerued him from the houre of my Natiuitie to this inſtant, and haue nothing at his hands for my ſeruice but blowes. When I am cold, he heates me with beating: when I am warme, he cooles me with beating: I am wak'd with it when I ſleepe, rais'd with it when I ſit, driuen out of doores with it when I goe from home, welcom'd home with it when I returne, nay I beare it on my ſhoulders, as a begger woont her brat: and I thinke when he hath lam'd me, I ſhall begge with it from doore to doore.
Come goe along, my wife is comming yon
Miſtris reſpice finem, reſpect your end, or ra
Wilt thou ſtill talke?
How ſay you now? Is not your husband mad?
Alas how fiery, and how ſharpe he lookes.
Marke, how he trembles in his extaſie.
Giue me your hand, and let mee feele your pulſe.
There is my hand, and let it feele your eare.
Peace doting wizard, peace; I am not mad.
Oh that thou wer't not, poore diſtreſſed ſoule.
Din'd at home? Thou Villaine, what ſayeſt thou?
Sir ſooth to ſay, you did not dine at home.
Were not my doores lockt vp, and I ſhut out?
Perdie, your doores were lockt, and you ſhut out.
And did not ſhe her ſelfe reuile me there?
Sans Fable, ſhe her ſelfe reuil'd you there.
Did not her Kitchen maide raile, taunt, and ſcorne me?
Certis ſhe did, the kitchin veſtall ſcorn'd you.
And did not I in rage depart from thence?
Is't good to ſooth him in theſe crontraries?
Thou haſt ſubborn'd the Goldſmith to arreſt mee.
Wentſt not thou to her for a purſe of Duckets.
He came to me, and I deliuer'd it.
And I am witneſſe with her that ſhe did:
I did not gentle husband locke thee forth.
Diſſembling Villain, thou ſpeak'ſt falſe in both
Oh binde him, binde him, let him not come neere me.
More company, the fiend is ſtrong within him
Aye me poore man, how pale and wan he looks.
Maſters let him go: he is my priſoner, and you ſhall not haue him.
Go binde this man, for he is franticke too.
Oh moſt vnhappie ſtrumpet.
Maſter, I am heere entred in bond for you.
Out on thee Villaine, wherefore doſt thou mad mee?
Will you be bound for nothing, be mad good Maſter, cry the diuell.
God helpe poore ſoules, how idlely doe they talke.
One Angelo a Goldſmith, do you know him?
I know the man: what is the ſumme he owes?
Two hundred Duckets.
Say, how growes it due.
Due for a Chaine your husband had of him.
He did beſpeake a Chain for me, but had it not.
God for thy mercy, they are looſe againe.
Away, they'l kill vs.
I ſee theſe Witches are affraid of ſwords.
She that would be your wife, now ran from you.
Faith ſtay heere this night, they will ſurely do vs no harme: you ſaw they ſpeake vs faire, giue vs gold: me thinkes they are ſuch a gentle Nation, that but for the Mountaine of mad fleſh that claimes mariage of me, I could finde in my heart to ſtay heere ſtill, and turne Witch.
How is the man eſteem'd heere in the Citie?
Speake ſoftly, yonder as I thinke he walkes.
I thinke I had, I neuer did deny it.
Yes that you did ſir, and forſwore it too.
Who heard me to denie it or forſweare it?
I dare and do defie thee for a villaine.
Be quiet people, wherefore throng you hither?
I knew he vvas not in his perfect wits.
I am ſorry now that I did draw on him.
How long hath this poſſeſſion held the man.
You ſhould for that haue reprehended him.
Why ſo I did.
I but not rough enough.
As roughly as my modeſtie would let me.
Haply in priuate.
And in aſſemblies too.
I, but not enough.
No, not a creature enters in my houſe.
Then let your ſeruants bring my husband forth
Be quiet and depart, thou ſhalt not haue him.
Complaine vnto the Duke of this indignity.
Vpon what cauſe?
See where they come, we wil behold his death.
Kneele to the Duke before he paſſe the Abbey.
Iuſtice moſt ſacred Duke againſt the Abbeſſe.
Come ſtand by me, feare nothing: guard with Halberds.
Vnleſſe the feare of death doth make me dore, I ſee my ſonne Antipholus and Dromio.
Diſcouer how, and thou ſhalt finde me iuſt.
A greeuous fault: ſay woman, didſt thou ſo?
But had he ſuch a Chaine of thee, or no?
Sir he din'de with her there, at the Porpen
He did, and from my finger ſnacht that Ring.
Tis true (my Liege) this Ring I had of her.
Saw'ſt thou him enter at the Abbey heere?
As ſure (my Liege) as I do ſee your Grace.
Speake freely Siracuſian what thou wilt.
I am ſure you both of you remember me.
Why looke you ſtrange on me? you know me well.
I neuer ſaw you in my life till now.
Neither.
Dromio, nor thou?
No truſt me ſir, nor I.
I am ſure thou doſt?
I ſir, but I am ſure I do not, and whatſo
I neuer ſaw my Father in my life.
Moſt mightie Duke, behold a man much wrong'd.
I ſee two husbands, or mine eyes deceiue me.
I Sir am Dromio, command him away.
I Sir am Dromio, pray let me ſtay.
Egeon art thou not? or elſe his ghoſt.
Oh my olde Maſter, who hath bound him heere?
Antipholus thou cam'ſt from Corinth firſt.
No ſir, not I, I came from Siracuſe.
Stay, ſtand apart, I know not which is which.
I came from Corinth my moſt gracious Lord
And I with him.
Which of you two did dine with me to day?
I, gentle Miſtris.
And are not you my husband?
No, I ſay nay to that.
That is the Chaine ſir, which you had of mee.
I thinke it be ſir, I denie it not.
And you ſir for this Chaine arreſted me.
I thinke I did ſir, I deny it not.
No, none by me.
Theſe Duckets pawne I for my father heere.
It ſhall not neede, thy father hath his life.
Sir I muſt haue that Diamond from you.
There take it, and much thanks for my good cheere.
With all my heart, Ile Goſſip at this feaſt.
Maſt
Dromio, what ſtuffe of mine haſt thou imbarkt
Your goods that lay at hoſt ſir in the Centaur.
Not I ſir, you are my elder.
That's a queſtion, how ſhall we trie it.
Wee'l draw Cuts for the Signior, till then, lead thou firſt.
Don Peter of Arragon, comes this night to
He is very neere by this: he was not three Leagues off when I left him.
How many Gentlemen haue you loſt in this action?
But few of any ſort, and none of name.
A victorie is twice it ſelfe, when the atchieuer brings home full numbers: I finde heere, that Don Peter hath beſtowed much honor on a yong
Much deſeru'd on his part, and equally rememPedro, he hath borne himſelfe beyond the promiſe of his age, doing in the figure of a Lambe, the feats of a Lion, he hath indeede better bettred expecta
He hath an Vnckle heere in Meſſina, wil be very much glad of it.
I haue alreadie deliuered him letters, and there appeares much ioy in him, euen ſo much, that ioy could not ſhew it ſelfe modeſt enough, without a badg of bit
Did he breake out into teares?
In great meaſure.
A kinde ouerflow of kindneſſe, there are no fa
I pray you, is Signior Mountant
return'd from the warres, or no?
I know none of that name, Lady, there was none ſuch in the armie of any ſort.
What is he that you aske for Neece?
My couſin meanes Signior Benedick of Padua
O he's return'd, and as pleaſant as euer he was.
He ſet vp his bils here in Meſſina, & challeng'd Cupid at the Flight: and my Vnckles foole reading the Challenge, ſubſcrib'd for Cupid, and challeng'd him at the Burbolt. I pray you, how many hath hee kil'd and eaten in theſe warres? But how many hath he kil'd? for indeed, I promis'd to eate all of his killing.
'Faith Neece, you taxe Signior Benedicke too much, but hee'l be meet with you, I doubt it not.
He hath done good ſeruice Lady in theſe wars.
You had muſty victuall, and he hath holpe to ease it: he's a very valiant Trencher-man, hee hath an excellent ſtomacke.
And a good ſouldier too Lady.
And a good ſouldier to a Lady. But what is he to a Lord?
A Lord to a Lord, a man to a man, ſtuft with all honourable vertues.
It is ſo indeed, he is no leſſe then a ſtuft man: but for the ſtuffing well, we are all mortall.
You muſt not (ſir) miſtake my Neece, there is a kind of merry war betwixt Signior Benedick, & her: they neuer meet, but there's a skirmiſh of wit between them.
Alas, he gets nothing by that. In our laſt con
I'st poſſible?
Very eaſily poſſible: he weares his faith but as the faſhion of his hat, it euer changes with ye next block.
I ſee (Lady) the Gentleman is not in your bookes.
No, and he were, I would burne my ſtudy. But I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young ſquarer now, that will make a voyage with him to the diuell?
He is moſt in the company of the right noble Claudio.
O Lord, he will hang vpon him like a diſeaſe: he is ſooner caught then the peſtilence, and the taker runs preſently mad. God helpe the noble Claudio, if hee haue caught the Benedict, it will coſt him a thouſand pound ere he be cur'd.
I will hold friends with you Lady.
Do good friend.
You'l ne're run mad Neece.
No, not till a hot Ianuary.
Don Pedro is approach'd.
Good Signior Leonato, you are come to meet your trouble: the faſhion of the world is to auoid coſt, and you encounter it.
Neuer came trouble to my houſe in the likenes of your Grace: for trouble being gone, comfort ſhould remaine: but when you depart from me, ſorrow abides, and happineſſe takes his leaue.
You embrace your charge too willingly: I thinke this is your daughter.
Her mother hath many times told me ſo.
Were you in doubt that you askt her?
Signior Benedicke, no, for then were you a childe.
You haue it full Benedicke, we may gheſſe by this, what you are, being a man, truely the Lady fathers her ſelfe: be happie Lady, for you are like an honorable father.
If Signior Leonato be her father, ſhe would not haue his head on her ſhoulders for al Meſſina, as like him as ſhe is.
I wonder that you will ſtill be talking, ſignior Benedicke
What my deere Ladie Diſdaine! are you yet liuing?
Is it poſſible Diſdaine ſhould die, while ſhee hath ſuch meete foode to feede it, as Signior Benedicke? Curteſie it ſelfe muſt conuert to Diſdaine, if you come in her preſence.
Then is curteſie a turne-coate, but it is cer
A deere happineſſe to women, they would elſe haue beene troubled with a pernitious Su
God keepe your Ladiſhip ſtill in that minde, ſo ſome Gentleman or other ſhall ſcape a predeſtinate ſcratcht face.
Scratching could not make it worſe, and 'twere ſuch a face as yours were.
Well, you are a rare Parrat teacher.
A bird of my tongue, is better than a beaſt of your.
I would my horſe had the ſpeed of your tongue, and ſo good a continuer, but keepe your way a Gods name, I haue done.
You alwaies end with a Iades tricke, I know you of old.
This is the ſumme of all: Leonato, ſignior Claudio, and ſignior
If you ſweare, my Lord, you ſhall not be for
I thanke you, I am not of many words, but I thanke you.
Pleaſe it your grace leade on?
Your hand Leonato, we will goe together.
Benedicke, didſt thou note the daughter of ſigLeonato?
I noted her not, but I lookt on her.
Is ſhe not a modeſt yong Ladie?
Doe you queſtion me as an honeſt man ſhould doe, for my ſimple true iudgement? or would you haue me ſpeake after my cuſtome, as being a profeſſed tyrant to their ſexe?
No, I pray thee ſpeake in ſober iudgement.
Why yfaith me thinks ſhee's too low for a hie praiſe, too browne for a faire praiſe, and too little for a great praiſe, onely this commendation I can affoord her, that were ſhee other then ſhe is, ſhe were vnhandſome, and being no other, but as ſhe is, I doe not like her.
Thou think'ſt I am in ſport, I pray thee tell me truely how thou lik'ſt her.
Would you buie her, that you enquier after her?
Can the world buie ſuch a iewell?
Yea, and a caſe to put it into, but ſpeake you this with a ſad brow? Or doe you play the flowting iacke, to tell vs Cupid is a good Hare-finder, and Vulcan a rare Carpenter: Come, in what key ſhall a man take you to goe in the ſong?
In mine eie, ſhe is the ſweeteſt Ladie that euer I lookt on.
I can ſee yet without ſpectacles, and I ſee no ſuch matter: there's her coſin, and ſhe were not poſſeſt with a furie, exceedes her as much in beautie, as the firſt of Maie doth the laſt of December: but I hope you haue no intent to turne husband, haue you?
I would ſcarce truſt my ſelfe, though I had ſworne the contrarie, if Hero would be my wife.
Iſt come to this? in faith hath not the world one man but he will weare his cap with ſuſpition? ſhall I nedon Pedro is returned to ſeeke you.
What ſecret hath held you here, that you folLeonatoes?
I would your Grace would conſtraine mee to tell.
I charge thee on thy allegeance.
You heare, Count Claudio, I can be ſecret as a dumbe man, I would haue you thinke ſo (but on my alHero, Leonatoes ſhort daughter.
If this were ſo, ſo were it vttred.
Like the old tale, my Lord, it is not ſo, nor 'twas not ſo: but indeede, God forbid it ſhould be ſo.
If my paſſion change not ſhortly, God forbid it ſhould be otherwiſe.
Amen, if you loue her, for the Ladie is verie well worthie.
You ſpeake this to fetch me in, my Lord.
By my troth I ſpeake my thought.
And in faith, my Lord, I ſpoke mine.
And by my two faiths and troths, my Lord, I ſpeake mine.
That I loue her, I feele.
That ſhe is worthie, I know.
That I neither feele how ſhee ſhould be lo
Thou waſt euer an obſtinate heretique in the de
And neuer could maintaine his part, but in the force of his will.
That a woman conceiued me, I thanke her: that ſhe brought mee vp, I likewiſe giue her moſt humble thankes: but that I will haue a
I ſhall ſee thee ere I die, looke pale with loue.
With anger, with ſickneſſe, or with hunger, my Lord, not with loue: proue that euer I looſe more blood with loue, then I will get againe with drinking, picke out mine eyes with a Ballet-makers penne, and hang me vp at the doore of a brothel-houſe for the ſigne of blinde Cupid.
Well, if euer thou dooſt fall from this faith, thou wilt proue a notable argument.
If I do, hang me in a bottle like a Cat, & ſhoot at me, and he that hit's me, let him be clapt on the ſhoulAdam.
Well, as time ſhall trie: In time the ſauage Bull doth beare the yoake.
The ſauage bull may, but if euer the ſenſible Benedicke beare it, plucke off the bulles hornes, and ſet them in my forehead, and let me be vildely painted, and in ſuch great Letters as they write, heere is good horſe to hire: let them ſignifie vnder my ſigne, here you may ſee Benedicke the married man.
If this ſhould euer happen, thou wouldſt bee horne mad.
Nay, if Cupid haue not ſpent all his Quiuer in Venice, thou wilt quake for this ſhortly.
I looke for an earthquake too then.
Well, you will temporize with the houres, in the meane time, good Signior Benedicke, repaire to Leonatoes, commend me to him, and tell him I will not faile him at ſupper, for indeede he hath made great prepara
I haue almoſt matter enough in me for ſuch an Embaſſage, and ſo I commit you.
To the tuition of God. From my houſe, if I had it.
The ſixt of Iuly. Your louing friend, Benedick.
Nay mocke not, mocke not; the body of your diſcourſe is ſometime guarded with fragments, and the guardes are but ſlightly baſted on neither, ere you flout old ends any further, examine your conſcience, and ſo I leaue you.
My Liege, your Highneſſe now may doe mee good.
Hath Leonato any ſonne my Lord?
How now brother, where is my coſen your ſon: hath he prouided this muſicke?
He is very buſie about it, but brother, I can tell you newes that you yet dreamt not of.
Are they good?
As the euents ſtamps them, but they haue Claudio walking in a thick pleached alley in my orchard, were thus ouer-heard by a man of mine: the Prince diſClaudio that hee loued my niece your daugh
Hath the fellow any wit that told you this?
A good ſharpe fellow, I will ſend for him, and queſtion him your ſelfe.
No, no; wee will hold it as a dreame, till it ap
What the good yeere my Lord, why are you thus out of meaſure ſad?
There is no meaſure in the occaſion that breeds, therefore the ſadneſſe is without limit.
You ſhould heare reaſon.
And when I haue heard it, what bleſſing brin
If not a preſent remedy, yet a patient ſufferance.
I wonder that thou (being as thou ſaiſt thou art, borne vnder Saturne) goeſt about to apply a morall me
Yea, but you muſt not make the ful ſhow of this, till you may doe it without controllment, you haue of
I had rather be a canker in a hedge, then a roſe in his grace, and it better fits my bloud to be diſdain'd of all, then to faſhion a carriage to rob loue from any: in this (though I cannot be ſaid to be a flattering honeſt man) it muſt not be denied but I am a plaine dealing villaine, I am truſted with a muſſell, and enfranchiſde with a clog, therefore I haue decreed, not to ſing in my cage: if I had my mouth, I would bite: if I had my liberty, I would do my liking: in the meane time, let me be that I am, and ſeeke not to alter me.
Can you make no vſe of your diſcontent?
I came yonder from a great ſupper, the Prince your brother is royally entertained by Leonato, and I can giue you intelligence of an intended marriage.
Will it ſerue for any Modell to build miſchiefe on? What is hee for a foole that betrothes himſelfe to vnquietneſſe?
Mary it is your brothers right hand.
Who, the moſt exquiſite Claudio?
Euen he.
A proper ſquier, and who, and who, which way lookes he?
Mary on Hero, the daughter and Heire of Leonato.
A very forward March-chicke, how came you to this?
Being entertain'd for a perfumer, as I was ſmoaClaudio, hand in hand in ſad conference: I whipt behind the ArHero for himſelfe, and hauing obtain'd her, giue her to Count Claudio.
Come, come, let vs thither, this may proue food to my diſpleaſure, that young ſtart-vp hath all the glorie of my ouerthrow: if I can croſſe him any way, I bleſſe my ſelfe euery way, you are both ſure, and will aſſiſt mee?
To the death my Lord.
Let vs to the great ſupper, their cheere is the greater that I am ſubdued, would the Cooke were of my minde: ſhall we goe proue whats to be done?
Wee'll wait vpon your Lordſhip.
Was not Count Iohn here at ſupper?
I ſaw him not.
How tartly that Gentleman lookes, I neuer can ſee him, but I am heart-burn'd an howre after.
He is of a very melancholy diſpoſition.
Hee were an excellent man that were made iuſt in the mid-way betweene him and Benedicke, the one is too like an image and ſaies nothing, and the other too like my Ladies eldeſt ſonne, euermore tatling.
Then halfe ſignior Benedicks tongue in Count Iohns mouth, and halfe Count Iohns melancholy in SigBenedicks face.
With a good legge, and a good foot vnckle, and money enough in his purſe, ſuch a man would winne any woman in the world, if he could get her good will.
By my troth Neece, thou wilt neuer get thee a husband, if thou be ſo ſhrewd of thy tongue.
Infaith ſhee's too curſt.
Too curſt is more then curſt, I ſhall leſſen Gods ſending that way: for it is ſaid, God ſends a curſt Cow ſhort hornes, but to a Cow too curſt he ſends none.
So, by being too curſt, God will ſend you no hornes.
Iuſt, if he ſend me no husband, for the which bleſſing, I am at him vpon my knees euery morning and euening: Lord, I could not endure a husband with a beard on his face, I had rather lie in the woollen.
You may light vpon a husband that hath no beard.
What ſhould I doe with him? dreſſe him in my apparell, and make him my waiting gentlewoman? he that hath a beard, is more then a youth: and he that hath no beard, is leſſe then a man: and hee that is more then a youth, is not for mee: and he that is leſſe then a man, I am not for him: therefore I will euen take ſixepence in ear
Well then, goe you into hell.
No, but to the gate, and there will the Deuill meete mee like an old Cuckold with hornes on his head, and ſay, get you to heauen Beatrice, get you to heauen, heere's no place for you maids, ſo deliuer I vp my Apes, and away to S. Peter: for the heauens, hee ſhewes mee where the Batchellers ſit, and there liue wee as merry as the day is long.
Well neece, I truſt you will be rul'd by your father.
Yes faith, it is my coſens dutie to make curt
Well neece, I hope to ſee you one day ſitted with a husband.
Not till God make men of ſome other metAdams ſonnes are my brethren, and truly I hold it a ſinne to match in my kinred.
Daughter, remember what I told you, if the Prince doe ſolicit you in that kinde, you know your an
The fault will be in the muſicke coſin, if you be not woed in good time: if the Prince bee too imporHero, wooing, wedding, & repenting, is as a Scotch ijgge, a meaſure, and a cinque-pace: the firſt ſuite is hot and haſty like a Scotch ijgge (and full as fantaſticall) the wedding manerly modeſt, (as a meaſure) full of ſtate & aunchentry, and then comes repentance, and with his bad legs falls into the cinque-pace faſter and faſter, till he ſinkes into his graue.
Coſin you apprehend paſſing ſhrewdly.
I haue a good eye vnckle, I can ſee a Church by daylight.
The reuellers are entring brother, make good roome.
Lady, will you walke about with your friend?
So you walke ſoftly, and looke ſweetly, and ſay nothing, I am yours for the walke, and eſpecially when I walke away.
With me in your company.
I may ſay ſo when I pleaſe.
And when pleaſe you to ſay ſo?
When I like your fauour, for God defend the Lute ſhould be like the caſe.
My viſor is Philemons roofe, within the houſe is Loue.
Why then your viſor ſhould be thatcht.
Speake low if you ſpeake Loue.
Well, I would you did like me.
So would not I for your owne ſake, for I haue manie ill qualities.
Which is one?
I ſay my prayers alowd.
I loue you the better, the hearers may cry Amen.
God match me with a good dauncer.
Amen.
And God keepe him out of my ſight when the daunce is done: anſwer Clarke.
No more words the Clarke is anſwered.
I know you well enough, you are Signior Anthonio.
At a word, I am not.
I know you by the wagling of your head.
To tell you true, I counterfet him.
You could neuer doe him ſo ill well, vnleſſe you were the very man: here's his dry hand vp & down, you are he, you are he.
At a word I am not.
Come, come, doe you thinke I doe not know you by your excellent wit? can vertue hide it ſelfe? goe to, mumme, you are he, graces will appeare, and there's an end.
Will you not tell me who told you ſo?
No, you ſhall pardon me.
Nor will you not tell me who you are?
Not now.
That I was diſdainfull, and that I had my good wit out of the hundred merry tales: well, this was SigniBenedicke that ſaid ſo.
What's he?
I am ſure you know him well enough.
Not I, beleeue me.
Did he neuer make you laugh?
I pray you what is he?
Why he is the Princes ieaſter, a very dull foole, onely his gift is, in deuiſing impoſsible ſlanders, none but Libertines delight in him, and the commendation is not in his witte, but in his villanie, for hee both pleaſeth men and angers them, and then they laugh at him, and beat him: I am ſure he is in the Fleet, I would he had boorded me.
When I know the Gentleman, Ile tell him what you ſay.
Do, do, hee'l but breake a compariſon or two on me, which peraduenture (not markt, or not laugh'd at) ſtrikes him into melancholly, and then there's a Par
In euery good thing.
Nay, if they leade to any ill, I will leaue them at the next turning.
Sure my brother is amorous on Hero, and hath withdrawne her father to breake with him about it: the Ladies follow her, and but one viſor remaines.
And that is Claudio, I know him by his bea
Are not you ſignior Benedicke?
You know me well, I am hee.
Signior, you are verie neere my Brother in his loue, he is enamor'd on Hero, I pray you diſſwade him from her, ſhe is no equall for his birth: you may do the part of an honeſt man in it.
How know you he loues her?
I heard him ſweare his affection,
So did I too, and he ſwore he would marrie her to night.
Come, let vs to the banquet.
Count Claudio.
Yea, the ſame.
Come, will you go with me?
Whither?
Euen to the next Willow, about your own buHero.
I wiſh him ioy of her.
Why that's ſpoken like an honeſt Drouier, ſo they ſel Bullockes: but did you thinke the Prince wold haue ſerued you thus?
I pray you leaue me.
Ho now you ſtrike like the blindman, 'twas the boy that ſtole your meate, and you'l beat the poſt.
If it will not be, Ile leaue you.
Alas poore hurt fowle, now will he creepe into ſedges: But that my Ladie Beatrice ſhould know me, & not know me: the Princes foole! Hah? It may be I goe vnder that title, becauſe I am merrie: yea but ſo I am apt to do my ſelfe wrong: I am not ſo reputed, it is the baſe (though bitter) diſpoſition of Beatrice, that putt's the world into her perſon, and ſo giues me out: well, Ile be reuenged as I may.
Now Signior, where's the Count, did you ſee him?
Troth my Lord, I haue played the part of Lady Fame, I found him heere as melancholy as a Lodge in a Warren, I told him, and I thinke, told him true, that your grace had got the will of this young Lady, and I offered him my company to a willow tree, either to make him a garland, as being forſaken, or to binde him a rod, as be
To be whipt, what's his fault?
The ſlat tranſgreſſion of a Schoole-boy, who being ouer-ioyed with finding a birds neſt, ſhewes it his companion, and he ſteales it.
Wilt thou make a truſt, a tranſgreſſion? the tranſgreſſion is in the ſtealer.
Yet it had not beene amiſſe the rod had beene made, and the garland too, for the garland he might haue worne himſelfe, and the rod hee might haue beſtowed on you, who (as I take it) haue ſtolne his birds neſt.
I will but teach them to ſing, and reſtore them to the owner.
If their ſinging anſwer your ſaying
The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrell to you, the Gentleman that daunſt with her, told her ſhee is much wrong'd by you.
O ſhe miſuſde me paſt the indurance of a block: an oake but with one greene leafe on it, would haue anAdam had left him before he tranſgreſt, ſhe would haue made Hercules haue turnd ſpit, yea, and haue cleft his club to make the fire too: come, talke not of her, you ſhall finde her the infernall Ate in good apparell. I would to God ſome ſcholler would coniure her, for certainely while ſhe is heere, a man may liue as quiet in hell, as in a ſanctuary, and people ſinne vpon purpoſe, becauſe they would goe thither, ſo indeed all diſquiet, horror, and perturbation followes her.
Looke heere ſhe comes.
Will your Grace command mee any ſeruice to the worlds end? I will goe on the ſlighteſt arrand now to the Antypodes that you can deuiſe to ſend me on: I will fetch you a tooth-picker now from the furtheſt inch of Aſia: bring you the length of Preſter Iohns foot: fetch you a hayre off the great Chams beard: doe you any em
None, but to deſire your good company.
O God ſir, heeres a diſh I loue not, I cannot in
Come Lady, come, you haue loſt the heart of Signior Benedicke.
Indeed my Lord, hee lent it me a while, and I gaue him vſe for it, a double heart for a ſingle one, marry once before he wonne it of mee, with falſe dice, therefore your Grace may well ſay I haue loſt it.
You haue put him downe Lady, you haue put him downe.
So I would not he ſhould do me, my Lord, leſt I ſhould prooue the mother of fooles: I haue brought Count Claudio, whom you ſent me to ſeeke.
Why how now Count, wherfore are you ſad?
Not ſad my Lord.
How then? ſicke?
Neither, my Lord.
The Count is neither ſad, nor ſicke, nor merry, nor well: but ciuill Count, ciuill as an Orange, and ſome
Ifaith Lady, I thinke your blazon to be true, though Ile be ſworne, if hee be ſo, his conceit is falſe: heere Claudio, I haue wooed in thy name, and faire Hero is won, I haue broke with her father, and his good will obtained, name the day of marriage, and God giue thee ioy.
Count, take of me my daughter, and with her my fortunes: his grace hath made the match, & all grace ſay, Amen to it.
Speake Count, tis your Qu.
Silence is the perfecteſt Herault of ioy, I were but little happy if I could ſay, how much? Lady, as you are mine, I am yours, I giue away my ſelfe for you, and doat vpon the exchange.
Speake coſin, or (if you cannot) ſtop his mouth with a kiſſe, and let not him ſpeake neither.
Infaith Lady you haue a merry heart.
Yea my Lord I thanke it, poore foole it keepes on the windy ſide of Care, my cooſin tells him in his eare that he is in my heart.
And ſo ſhe doth cooſin.
Good Lord for alliance: thus goes euery one to the world but I, and I am ſun-burn'd, I may ſit in a cor
Lady Beatrice, I will get you one.
I would rather haue one of your fathers getting: hath your Grace ne're a brother like you? your father got excellent husbands, if a maid could come by them.
Will you haue me? Lady.
No, my Lord, vnleſſe I might haue another for working-daies, your Grace is too coſtly to weare euerie day: but I beſeech your Grace pardon mee, I was borne to ſpeake all mirth, and no matter.
Your ſilence moſt offends me, and to be mer
No ſure my Lord, my Mother cried, but then there was a ſtarre daunſt, and vnder that was I borne: co
Neece, will you looke to thoſe rhings I told you of?
I cry you mercy Vncle, by your Graces pardon.
By my troth a pleaſant ſpirited Lady.
There's little of the melancholy element in her my Lord, ſhe is neuer ſad, but when ſhe ſleepes, and not euer ſad then: for I haue heard my daughter ſay, ſhe hath often dreamt of vnhappineſſe, and wakt her ſelfe with laughing.
Shee cannot indure to heare tell of a husband.
O, by no meanes, ſhe mocks all her wooers out of ſuite.
She were an excellent wife for Benedick.
O Lord, my Lord, if they were but a weeke
Counte Claudio, when meane you to goe to Church?
To morrow my Lord, Time goes on crutches, till Loue haue all his rites.
Not till monday, my deare ſonne, which is hence a iuſt ſeuen night, and a time too briefe too, to haue all things anſwer minde.
Come, you ſhake the head at ſo long a breaClaudio, the time ſhall not goe dully by vs, I will in the interim, vndertake one of Hercules labors, which is, to bring Signior
My Lord, I am for you, though it coſt mee ten nights watchings.
And I my Lord.
And you to gentle Hero?
I will doe any modeſt office, my Lord, to helpe my coſin to a good husband.
And Benedick is not the vnhopefulleſt husband that I know: thus farre can I praiſe him, hee is of a noble ſtraine, of approued valour, and confirm'd honeſty, I will teach you how to humour your coſin, that ſhee ſhall fall in loue with Benedicke, and I, with your two helpes, will ſo practiſe on Benedicke, that in deſpight of his quicke wit, and his queaſie ſtomacke, hee ſhall fall in loue with Beatrice: if wee can doe this, Cupid is no longer an Ar
It is ſo, the Count Claudio ſhal marry the daughLeonato.
Yea my Lord, but I can croſſe it.
Any barre, any croſſe, any impediment, will be medicinable to me, I am ſicke in diſpleaſure to him, and whatſoeuer comes athwart his affection, ranges euenly with mine, how canſt thou croſſe this marriage?
Not honeſtly my Lord, but ſo couertly, that no diſhoneſty ſhall appeare in me.
Shew me breefely how.
I thinke I told your Lordſhip a yeere ſince, how much I am in the fauour of Margaret, the waiting gentleHero.
I remember.
I can at any vnſeaſonable inſtant of the night, appoint her to look out at her Ladies chamber window.
What life is in that, to be the death of this mar
The poyſon of that lies in you to temper, goe you to the Prince your brother, ſpare not to tell him, that hee hath wronged his Honor in marrying the renowned Claudio, whoſe eſtimation do you mightily hold vp, to a contaminated ſtale, ſuch a one as Hero.
What proofe ſhall I make of that?
Proofe enough, to miſuſe the Prince, to vexe Claudio, to vndoe Hero, and kill Leonato, looke you for a
Onely to deſpight them, I will endeauour any thing.
Goe then, finde me a meete howre, to draw on Pedro and the Count Claudio alone, tell them that you know that Hero loues me, intend a kinde of zeale both to the Prince and Claudio (as in a loue of your brothers honor who hath made this match) and his friends repuMargaret, Hero; heare Margaret terme me Claudio, and bring them to ſee this the very night before the intended wedding, for in the meane time, I will ſo faſhion the matter, that Hero ſhall be abſent, and there ſhall appeare ſuch ſeeming truths of Heroes diſloyaltie, that iealouſie ſhall be cal'd aſſurance, and all the preparation ouerthrowne.
Grow this to what aduerſe iſſue it can, I will put it in practiſe: be cunning in the working this, and thy fee is a thouſand ducates.
Be thou conſtant in the accuſation, and my cun
I will preſentlie goe learne their day of marri
Boy.
Signior.
In my chamber window lies a booke, bring it hither to me in the orchard.
I am heere already ſir.
I know that, but I would haue thee hence, and heere againe. I doe much wonder, that one man ſeeing how much another man is a foole, when he dedicates his behauiours to loue, will after hee hath laught at ſuch ſhallow follies in others, become the argument of his owne ſcorne, by falling in loue, & ſuch a man is Claudio, I haue known when there was no muſicke with him but the drum and the fife, and now had hee rather heare the taber and the pipe: I haue knowne when he would haue walkt ten mile afoot, to ſee a good armor, and now will he lie ten nights awake caruing the faſhion of a new dub
Come, ſhall we heare this muſicke?
See you where Benedicke hath hid himſelfe?
Come Balthaſar, wee'll heare that ſong again.
Now diuine aire, now is his ſoule rauiſht, is it not ſtrange that ſheepes guts ſhould hale ſoules out of mens bodies? well, a horne for my money when all's done.
By my troth a good ſong.
And an ill ſinger, my Lord.
Ha, no, no faith, thou ſingſt well enough for a ſhift.
And he had been a dog that ſhould haue howld thus, they would haue hang'd him, and I pray God his bad voyce bode no miſchiefe, I had as liefe haue heard the night-rauen, come what plague could haue come af
Yea marry, doſt thou heare Balthaſar? I pray thee get vs ſome excellent muſick: for to morrow night we would haue it at the Lady Heroes chamber window.
The beſt I can, my Lord.
Do ſo, farewell. Come hither Leonato, what was it you told me of to day, that your Niece Beatrice was in loue with ſignior Benedicke?
O I, ſtalke on, ſtalke on, the foule ſits. I did ne
No nor I neither, but moſt wonderful, that ſhe ſhould ſo dote on Signior Benedicke, whom ſhee hath in all outward behauiours ſeemed euer to abhorre.
Is't poſſible? ſits the winde in that corner?
By my troth my Lord, I cannot tell what to thinke of it, but that ſhe loues him with an inraged affe
May be ſhe doth but counterfeit.
Faith like enough.
O God! counterfeit? there was neuer counter
Why what effects of paſſion ſhewes ſhe?
Baite the hooke well, this fiſh will bite.
What effects my Lord? ſhee will ſit you, you heard my daughter tell you how.
She did indeed.
How, how I pray you? you amaze me, I would haue thought her ſpirit had beene inuincible againſt all aſſaults of affection.
I would haue ſworne it had, my Lord, eſpecially againſt Benedicke.
I ſhould thinke this a gull, but that the white-bearded fellow ſpeakes it: knauery cannot ſure hide himſelfe in ſuch reuerence.
He hath tane th' infection, hold it vp.
Hath ſhee made her affection known to Benedicke?
No, and ſweares ſhe neuer will, that's her torment.
'Tis true indeed, ſo your daughter ſaies: ſhall I, ſaies ſhe, that haue ſo oft encountred him with ſcorne, write to him that I loue him?
This ſaies ſhee now when ſhee is beginning to write to him, for ſhee'll be vp twenty times a night, and there will ſhe ſit in her ſmocke, till ſhe haue writ a ſheet of paper: my daughter tells vs all.
Now you talke of a ſheet of paper, I remember a pretty ieſt your daughter told vs of.
O when ſhe had writ it, & was reading it ouer, ſhe found Benedicke and Beatrice betweene the ſheete.
That.
O ſhe tore the letter into a thouſand halfpence, raild at her ſelf, that ſhe ſhould be ſo immodeſt to write, to one that ſhee knew would flout her: I meaſure him, ſaies ſhe, by my owne ſpirit, for I ſhould flout him if hee writ to mee, yea though I loue him, I ſhould.
Then downe vpon her knees ſhe falls, weepes, ſobs, beates her heart, teares her hayre, praies, curſes, O ſweet Benedicke, God giue me patience.
She doth indeed, my daughter ſaies ſo, and the extaſie hath ſo much ouerborne her, that my daughter is ſomtime afeard ſhe will doe a deſperate out-rage to her ſelfe, it is very true.
It were good that Benedicke knew of it by ſome other, if ſhe will not diſcouer it.
To what end? he would but make a ſport of it, and torment the poore Lady worſe.
And he ſhould, it were an almes to hang him, ſhee's an excellent ſweet Lady, and (out of all ſuſpition,) ſhe is vertuous.
And ſhe is exceeding wiſe.
In euery thing, but in louing Benedicke.
O my Lord, wiſedome and bloud combating in ſo tender a body, we haue ten proofes to one, that bloud hath the victory, I am ſorry for her, as I haue iuſt cauſe, being her Vncle, and her Guardian.
I would ſhee had beſtowed this dotage on mee, I would haue daft all other reſpects, and made her halfe my ſelfe: I pray you tell Benedicke of it, and heare what he will ſay.
Were it good thinke you?
Hero thinkes ſurely ſhe wil die, for ſhe ſaies ſhe will die, if hee loue her not, and ſhee will die ere ſhee make her loue knowne, and ſhe will die if hee wooe her, rather than ſhee will bate one breath of her accuſtomed croſſeneſſe.
She doth well, if ſhe ſhould make tender of her
He is a very proper man.
He hath indeed a good outward happines.
'Fore God, and in my minde very wiſe.
He doth indeed ſhew ſome ſparkes that are like wit.
And I take him to be valiant.
As Hector, I aſſure you, and in the managing of quarrels you may ſee hee is wiſe, for either hee auoydes them with great diſcretion, or vndertakes them with a Chriſtian-like feare.
If hee doe feare God, a muſt neceſſarilie keepe peace, if hee breake the peace, hee ought to enter into a quarrell with feare and trembling.
And ſo will he doe, for the man doth fear God, howſoeuer it ſeemes not in him, by ſome large ieaſts hee will make: well, I am ſorry for your niece, ſhall we goe ſee Benedicke, and tell him of her loue,
Neuer tell him, my Lord, let her weare it out with good counſell.
Nay that's impoſſible, ſhe may weare her heart out firſt.
Well, we will heare further of it by your daughBenedicke well, and I could wiſh he would modeſtly examine himſelfe, to ſee how much he is vnworthy to haue ſo good a Lady.
My Lord, will you walke? dinner is ready.
If he do not doat on her vpon this, I wil neuer truſt my expectation.
Let there be the ſame Net ſpread for her, and that muſt your daughter and her gentlewoman carry: the ſport will be, when they hold one an opinion of ano
This can be no tricke, the conference was ſadly borne, they haue the truth of this from Hero, they ſeeme to pittie the Lady: it ſeemes her affections haue the full bent: loue me? why it muſt be requited: I heare how I am cenſur'd, they ſay I will beare my ſelfe proudly, if I perceiue the loue come from her: they ſay too, that ſhe will rather die than giue any ſigne of affection: I did neBeatrice: by this day, ſhee's a faire Lady, I doe ſpie ſome markes of loue in her.
Againſt my wil I am ſent to bid you come in to dinner.
Faire Beatrice, I thanke you for your paines.
I tooke no more paines for thoſe thankes, then you take paines to thanke me, if it had been painefull, I would not haue come.
You take pleaſure then in the meſſage.
Yea iuſt ſo much as you may take vpon a kniues point, and choake a daw withall: you haue no ſtomacke ſignior, fare you well.
Ha, againſt my will I am ſent to bid you come into dinner: there's a double meaning in that: I tooke no more paines for thoſe thankes then you tooke paines to thanke me, that's as much as to ſay, any paines that I take for you is as eaſie as thankes: if I do not take pitty of her I am a villaine, if I doe not loue her I am a Iew, I will goe get her picture.
Ile make her come I warrant you preſently.
So ſaies the Prince, and my new trothed Lord.
And did they bid you tell her of it, Madam?
Sure, ſure, ſuch carping is not commendable.
Yet tell her of it, heare what ſhee will ſay.
Indeed he hath an excellent good name.
I doe but ſtay till your marriage be conſum
Ile bring you thither my Lord, if you'l vouch
Nay, that would be as great a ſoyle in the new gloſſe of your marriage, as to ſhew a childe his new coat and forbid him to weare it, I will onely bee bold with Benedicke for his companie, for from the crowne of his head, to the ſole of his foot, he is all mirth, he hath twice or thrice cut Cupids bow-ſtring, and the little hang-man dare not ſhoot at him, he hath a heart as ſound as a bell, and his tongue is the clapper, for what his heart thinkes, his tongue ſpeakes.
Gallants, I am not as I haue bin.
So ſay I, methinkes you are ſadder.
I hope he be in loue.
Hang him truant, there's no true drop of bloud in him to be truly toucht with loue, if he be ſad, he wants money.
I haue the tooth-ach.
Draw it.
Hang it.
You muſt hang it firſt, and draw it afterwards.
What? ſigh for the tooth-ach.
Where is but a humour or a worme.
Well, euery one cannot maſter a griefe, but hee that has it.
Yet ſay I, he is in loue.
There is no appearance of fancie in him, vnleſſe it be a fancy that he hath to ſtrange diſguiſes, as to bee a Dutchman to day, a Frenchman to morrow: vnleſſe hee haue a fancy to this foolery, as it appeares hee hath, hee is no foole for fancy, as you would haue it to appeare he is.
If he be not in loue vvith ſome vvoman, there is no beleeuing old ſignes, a bruſhes his hat a mornings, What ſhould that bode?
Hath any man ſeene him at the Barbers?
No, but the Barbers man hath beene ſeen with him, and the olde ornament of his cheeke hath alreadie ſtuft tennis balls.
Indeed he lookes yonger than hee did, by the loſſe of a beard.
Nay a rubs himſelfe vvith Ciuit, can you ſmell him out by that?
That's as much as to ſay, the ſweet youth's in loue.
The greateſt note of it is his melancholy.
And vvhen vvas he vvont to vvaſh his face?
Yea, or to paint himſelfe? for the which I heare vvhat they ſay of him.
Nay, but his ieſting ſpirit, vvhich is now crept into a lute-ſtring, and now gouern'd by ſtops.
Indeed that tels a heauy tale for him: conclude, he is in loue.
Nay, but I know who loues him.
That would I know too, I warrant one that knowes him not.
Yes, and his ill conditions, and in deſpight of all, dies for him.
Shee ſhall be buried with her face vpwards.
Yet is this no charme for the tooth-ake, old ſig
For my life to breake with him about Beatrice.
'Tis euen ſo, Hero and Margaret haue by this played their parts with Beatrice, and then the two Beares will not bite one another when they meete.
My Lord and brother, God ſaue you.
Good den brother.
If your leiſure ſeru'd, I would ſpeake with you.
In priuate?
If it pleaſe you, yet Count Claudio may heare, for what I would ſpeake of, concernes him.
What's the matter?
Meanes your Lordſhip to be married to mor
You know he does.
I know not that when he knowes what I know.
If there be any impediment, I pray you diſco
You may thinke I loue you not, let that appeare hereafter, and ayme better at me by that I now will ma
Why, what's the matter?
I came hither to tell you, and circumſtances ſhortned, (for ſhe hath beene too long a talking of) the Lady is diſloyall.
Who Hero?
Euen ſhee, Leonatoes Hero, your Hero, euery mans Hero.
Diſloyall?
The word is too good to paint out her wicked
May this be ſo?
I will not thinke it.
If you dare not truſt that you ſee, confeſſe not that you know: if you will follow mee, I will ſhew you enough, and when you haue ſeene more, & heard more, proceed accordingly.
If I ſee any thing to night, why I ſhould not marry her to morrow in the congregation, where I ſhold wedde, there will I ſhame her.
And as I wooed for thee to obtaine her, I will ioyne with thee to diſgrace her.
I will diſparage her no farther, till you are my witneſſes, beare it coldly but till night, and let the iſſue ſhew it ſelfe.
O day vntowardly turned!
O miſchiefe ſtrangelie thwarting!
O plague right well preuented! ſo will you ſay, when you haue ſeene the ſequele.
Are you good men and true?
Yea, or elſe it were pitty but they ſhould ſuffer ſaluation body and ſoule.
Nay, that were a puniſhment too good for them, if they ſhould haue any allegiance in them, being choſen for the Princes watch.
Well, giue them their charge, neighbour Dogbery.
Firſt, who thinke you the moſt deſartleſſe man to be Conſtable?
Hugh Ote-cake ſir, or George Sea-coale, for they can write and reade.
Come hither neighbour Sea-coale, God hath bleſt you with a good name: to be a wel-fauoured man, is the gift of Fortune, but to write and reade, comes by Nature.
Both which Maſter Conſtable
You haue: I knew it would be your anſwere: well, for your fauour ſir, why giue God thankes, & make no boaſt of it, and for your writing and reading, let that appeare when there is no need of ſuch vanity, you are thought heere to be the moſt ſenſleſſe and fit man for the Conſtable of the watch: therefore beare you the lan
How if a will not ſtand?
Why then take no note of him, but let him go, and preſently call the reſt of the Watch together, and thanke God you are ridde of a knaue.
If he will not ſtand when he is bidden, hee is none of the Princes ſubiects.
True, and they are to meddle with none but the Princes ſubiects: you ſhall alſo make no noiſe in the ſtreetes: for, for the Watch to babble and talke, is moſt tollerable, and not to be indured.
We will rather ſleepe than talke, wee know what belongs to a Watch.
Why you ſpeake like an ancient and moſt quiet watchman, for I cannot ſee how ſleeping ſhould offend: only haue a care that your bills be not ſtolne: well, you are to call at all the Alehouſes, and bid them that are drunke get them to bed.
How if they will not?
Why then let them alone till they are ſober, if they make you not then the better anſwere, you may ſay, they are not the men you tooke them for.
Well ſir.
If you meet a theefe, you may ſuſpect him, by vertue of your office, to be no true man
If wee know him to be a thiefe, ſhall wee not lay hands on him.
Truly by your office you may, but I think they that touch pitch will be defil'd: the moſt peaceable way for you, if you doe take a theefe, is, to let him ſhew him
You haue bin alwaies cal'd a merciful ma
Truely I would not hang a dog by my will, much more a man who hath anie honeſtie in him.
If you heare a child crie in the night you muſt call to the nurſe, and bid her ſtill it.
How if the nurſe be aſleepe and will not heare vs?
Why then depart in peace, and let the childe wake her with crying, for the ewe that will not heare her Lambe when it baes, will neuer anſwere a calfe when he bleates.
'Tis verie true.
This is the end of the charge: you conſtable are to preſent the Princes owne perſon, if you meete the Prince in the night, you may ſtaie him.
Nay birladie that I thinke a cannot.
Fiue ſhillings to one on't with anie man that knowes the Statues, he may ſtaie him, marrie not with
Birladie I thinke it be ſo.
Ha, ah ha, well maſters good night, and there be anie matter of weight chances, call vp me, keepe your fellowes counſailes, and your owne, and good night, come neighbour.
Well maſters, we heare our charge, let vs go ſit here vpon the Church bench till two, and then all to bed.
One word more, honeſt neighbors. I pray you watch about ſignior Leonatoes doore, for the wedding be
What, Conrade?
Peace, ſtir not.
Conrade I ſay.
Here man, I am at thy elbow.
Mas and my elbow itcht, I thought there would a ſcabbe follow.
I will owe thee an anſwere
Stand thee cloſe then vnder this penthouſe, for it driſſels raine, and I will, like a true drunkard, vtter all to thee.
Some treaſon maſters, yet ſtand cloſe.
Therefore know, I haue earned of Don Iohn a thouſand Ducates.
Is it poſſible that anie villanie ſhould be ſo deare?
Thou ſhould'ſt rather aske if it were poſſible a
I wonder at it.
That ſhewes thou art vnconfirm'd, thou knoweſt that the faſhion of a doublet, or a hat, or a cloake, is no
Yes, it is apparell.
I meane the faſhion.
Yes the faſhion is the faſhion.
Tuſh, I may as well ſay the foole's the foole, but ſeeſt thou not what a deformed theefe this faſhion is?
I know that deformed, a has bin a vile theefe, this vii. yeares, a goes vp and downe like a gentle man: I remember his name.
Did'ſt thou not heare ſome bodie?
No, 'twas the vaine on the houſe.
Seeſt thou not (I ſay) what a deformed thiefe this faſhion is, how giddily a turnes about all the Hot-blouds, betweene foureteene & fiue & thirtie, ſometimes faſhioning them like Pharaoes ſouldiours in the rechie painting, ſometime like god Bels prieſts in the old Church window, ſometime like the ſhauen Hercules in the ſmircht worm eaten tapeſtrie, where his cod-peece ſeemes as maſſie as his club.
All this I ſee, and ſee that the faſhion weares out more apparrell then the man; but art not thou thy ſelfe giddie with the faſhion too that thou haſt ſhifted out of thy tale into telling me of the faſhion?
Not ſo neither, but know that I haue to night wooed Margaret the Lady Heroes gentle-woman, by the name of Hero, ſhe leanes me out at her miſtris chamber-vvindow, bids me a thouſand times good night: I tell this tale vildly. I ſhould firſt tell thee how the Prince Claudio and my Maſter planted, and placed, and poſſeſſed by my Maſter Don Iohn, ſaw a far off in the Orchard this amiable incounter.
And thought thy Margaret was Hero?
Two of them did, the Prince and Claudio, but the diuell my Maſter knew ſhe was Margaret and partly by his oathes, which firſt poſſeſt them, partly by the darke night which did deceiue them, but chiefely, by my villaDon Iohn had made, away vvent Claudio enraged, ſwore hee vvould meete her as he was apointed next morning at the Tem
We charge you in the Princes name ſtand.
Call vp the right maſter Conſtable, vve haue here recouered the moſt dangerous peece of lechery, that euer vvas knowne in the Common-wealth.
And one Deformed is one of them, I know him, a vveares a locke.
Maſt
Youre be made bring deformed forth I war
Maſters, neuer ſpeake, vve charge you, let vs o
We are like to proue a goodly commoditie, be
A commoditie in queſtion I warrant you, come vveele obey you.
Good Vrſula wake my coſin Beatrice, and de
I will Lady.
And bid her come hither.
Well.
Troth I thinke your other rebato were better.
No pray thee good Meg, Ile vveare this.
By my troth's not ſo good, and I vvarrant your coſin vvill ſay ſo.
My coſin's a foole, and thou art another, ile vveare none but this.
I like the new tire vvithin excellently, if the haire vvere a thought browner: and your gown's a moſt rare faſhion yfaith, I ſaw the Dutcheſſe of Millaines gowne that they praiſe ſo.
O that exceedes they ſay.
By my troth's but a night-gowne in reſpect of yours, cloth a gold and cuts and lac'd with ſiluer, ſet with pearles, downe ſleeues, ſide ſleeues, and skirts, round vn
God giue mee ioy to weare it, for my heart is exceeding heauy.
'Twill be heauier ſoone, by the waight of a man.
Fie vpon thee, art not aſham'd?
Of what Lady? of ſpeaking honourably? is not marriage honourable in a beggar? is not your Lord honourable without marriage? I thinke you would haue me ſay, ſauing your reuerence a husband: and bad thinBeatrice elſe, here ſhe comes.
Good morrow Coze.
Good morrow ſweet Hero.
Why how now? do you ſpeake in the ſick tune?
I am out of all other tune, me thinkes.
Claps into Light a loue, (that goes without a burden,) do you ſing it and Ile dance it.
Ye Light aloue with your heeles, then if your husband haue ſtables enough, you'll looke he ſhall lacke no barnes.
O illegitimate conſtruction! I ſcorne that with my heeles.
'Tis almoſt fiue a clocke coſin, 'tis time you were ready, by my troth I am exceeding ill, hey ho.
For a hauke, a horſe, or a husband?
For the letter that begins them all, H.
Well, and you be not turn'd Turke, there's no more ſayling by the ſtarre.
What meanes the foole trow?
Nothing I, but God ſend euery one rheir harts deſire.
Theſe gloues the Count ſent mee, they are an excellent perfume.
I am ſtuft coſin, I cannot ſmell.
A maid and ſtuft! there's goodly catching of colde.
O God helpe me, God help me, how long haue you profeſt apprehenſion?
Euer ſince you left it, doth not my wit become me rarely?
It is not ſeene enough, you ſhould weare it in your cap, by my troth I am ſicke.
Get you ſome of this diſtill'd carduus benedictus and lay it to your heart, it is the onely thing for a qualm.
There thou prickſt her with a thiſſell.
Benedictus, why benedictus? you haue ſome mobenedictus.
Morall? no by my troth, I haue no morall meaBenedicke was ſuch another, and now is he become a man, he ſwore hee would neuer marry, and yet now in deſpight of his heart he eates his meat without grudging, and how you may be conuerted I know not, but me thinkes you looke with your eies as other women doe.
What pace is this that thy tongue keepes.
Not a falſe gallop.
Madam, withdraw, the Prince, the Count, ſigBenedicke, Don Iohn, and all the gallants of the towne are come to fetch you to Church.
Helpe to dreſſe mee good coze, good Meg, good Vrſula.
What would you with mee, honeſt neigh
Mary ſir I would haue ſome confidence with you, that decernes you nearely.
Briefe I pray you, for you ſee it is a buſie time with me.
Mary this it is ſir.
Yes in truth it is ſir.
What is it my good friends?
Goodman Verges ſir ſpeakes a little of the matter, an old man ſir, and his wits are not ſo blunt, as God helpe I would deſire they were, but infaith honeſt as the skin betweene his browes.
Yes I thank God, I am as honeſt as any man li
Compariſons are odorous, palabras, neigh
Neighbours, you are tedious.
It pleaſes your worſhip to ſay ſo, but we are the poore Dukes officers, but truely for mine owne part, if I were as tedious as a King I could finde in my heart to beſtow it all of your worſhip.
All thy tediouſneſſe on me, ah?
Yea, and 'twere a thouſand times more than 'tis, for I heare as good exclamation on your Wor
And ſo am I.
I would faine know what you haue to ſay.
Marry ſir our watch to night, excepting your worſhips preſence, haue tane a couple of as arrant knaues as any in Meſſina.
A good old man ſir, hee will be talking as they ſay, when the age is in the wit is out, God helpe vs, it is a world to ſee: well ſaid yfaith neighbour Verges, well, God's a good man, and two men ride of a horſe, one muſt ride behinde, an honeſt ſoule yfaith ſir, by my troth he is, as euer broke bread, but God is to bee wor
Indeed neighbour he comes too ſhort of you.
Gifts that God giues.
I muſt leaue you.
One word ſir, our watch ſir haue indeede comprehended two aſpitious perſons, & we would haue them this morning examined before your worſhip.
Take their examination your ſelfe, and bring it me, I am now in great haſte, as may appeare vnto you.
It ſhall be ſuffigance.
Drinke ſome wine ere you goe: fare you well.
My Lord, they ſtay for you to giue your daughter to her husband.
Ile wait vpon them, I am ready.
Goe good partner, goe get you to Francis Sea-coale, bid him bring his pen and inkehorne to the Gaole: we are now to examine thoſe men.
And we muſt doe it wiſely.
Wee will ſpare for no witte I warrant you:
Come Frier Francis, be briefe, onely to the plaine forme of marriage, and you ſhal recount their par
You come hither, my Lord, to marry this Lady.
No.
To be married to her: Frier, you come to mar
Lady, you come hither to be married to this Count.
I doe.
If either of you know any inward impediment why you ſhould not be conioyned, I charge you on your ſoules to vtter it.
Know you anie, Hero?
None my Lord.
Know you anie, Count?
I dare make his anſwer, None.
O what men dare do! what men may do! what men daily do!
How now! interiections? why then, ſome be of laughing, as ha, ha, he.
As freely ſonne as God did giue her me.
Nothing, vnleſſe you render her againe.
What doe you meane, my Lord?
And ſeem'd I euer otherwiſe to you?
Is my Lord well, that he doth ſpeake ſo wide?
Sweete Prince, why ſpeake not you?
Are theſe things ſpoken, or doe I but dreame?
Sir, they are ſpoken, and theſe things are true.
This lookes not like a nuptiall.
True, O God!
All this is ſo, but what of this my Lord?
I charge thee doe, as thou art my childe.
To make you anſwer truly to your name.
I talkt with no man at that howre my Lord.
Hath no mans dagger here a point for me?
Why how now coſin, wherfore ſink you down?
How doth the Lady?
How now coſin Hero?
Haue comfort Ladie.
Doſt thou looke vp?
Yea, wherefore ſhould ſhe not?
Sir, ſir, be patient: for my part, I am ſo attired in wonder, I know not what to ſay.
O on my ſoule my coſin is belied.
Ladie, were you her bedfellow laſt night?
Heare me a little, for I haue onely bene ſilent ſo long, and giuen way vnto this courſe of fortune, by no
Ladie, what man is he you are accus'd of?
There is ſome ſtrange miſpriſion in the Princes.
What ſhall become of this? What wil this do?
Lady Beatrice, haue you wept all this while?
Yea, and I will weepe a while longer.
I will not deſire that.
You haue no reaſon, I doe it freely.
Surelie I do beleeue your fair coſin is wrong'd.
Ah, how much might the man deſerue of mee that would right her!
Is there any way to ſhew ſuch friendſhip?
A verie euen way, but no ſuch friend.
May a man doe it?
It is a mans office, but not yours.
I doe loue nothing in the world ſo well as you, is not that ſtrange?
As ſtrange as the thing I know not, it were as poſſible for me to ſay, I loued nothing ſo well as you, but beleeue me not, and yet I lie not, I confeſſe nothing, nor I deny nothing, I am ſorry for my couſin.
By my ſword Beatrice thou lou'ſt me.
Doe not ſweare by it and eat it.
I will ſweare by it that you loue mee, and I will make him eat it that ſayes I loue not you.
Will you not eat your word?
With no ſawce that can be deuiſed to it, I pro
Why then God forgiue me.
What offence ſweet Beatrice?
You haue ſtayed me in a happy howre; I was a
And doe it with all thy heart.
I loue you with ſo much of my heart, that none is left to proteſt.
Come, bid me doe any thing for thee.
Kill Claudio.
Ha, not for the wide world.
You kill me to denie, farewell.
Tarrie ſweet Beatrice.
I am gone, though I am heere, there is no loue in you, nay I pray you let me goe.
Beatrice.
Infaith I will goe.
Wee'll be friends firſt.
You dare eaſier be friends with mee, than fight with mine enemy.
Is Claudio thine enemie?
Is a not approued in the height a villaine, that hath ſlandered, ſcorned, diſhonoured my kinſwoman? O that I were a man! what, beare her in hand vntill they come to take hands, and then with publike accuſation vncouered ſlander, vnmittigated rancour? O God that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place.
Heare me Beatrice.
Talke with a man out at a window, a proper ſaying.
Nay but Beatrice.
Sweet Hero, ſhe is wrong'd, ſhee is ſlandered, ſhe is vndone.
Beat?
Princes and Counties! ſurelie a Princely teſtiHercules, that only tells a lie, and ſweares it: I cannot be a man with wiſhing, therfore I will die a wo
Tarry good Beatrice, by this hand I loue thee.
Vſe it for my loue ſome other way then ſwea
Thinke you in your ſoule the Count Claudio hath wrong'd Hero?
Yea, as ſure as I haue a thought, or a ſoule.
Enough, I am engagde, I will challenge him, I will kiſſe your hand, and ſo leaue you: by this hand Claudio ſhall render me a deere account: as you heare of me, ſo thinke of me: goe comfort your cooſin, I muſt ſay ſhe is dead, and ſo farewell.
Is our whole diſſembly appeard?
O a ſtoole and a cuſhion for the Sexton.
Which be the malefactors?
Marry that am I, and my partner.
Nay that's certaine, wee haue the exhibition to examine.
But which are the offenders that are to be ex
Yea marry, let them come before mee, what is your name, friend?
Borachio.
Pray write downe Borachio. Yours ſirra.
I am a Gentleman ſir, and my name is Conrade.
Write downe Maſter gentleman Conrade
: mai
Marry ſir, we ſay we are none.
A maruellous witty fellow I aſſure you, but I will goe about with him: come you hither ſirra, a word in your eare ſir, I ſay to you, it is thought you are falſe knaues.
Sir, I ſay to you, we are none.
Well, ſtand aſide, 'fore God they are both in a tale: haue you writ downe that they are none?
Maſter Conſtable, you goe not the way to ex
Yea marry, that's the efteſt way, let the watch come forth: maſters, I charge you in the Princes name, accuſe theſe men.
This man ſaid ſir, that Don Iohn the Princes brother was a villaine.
Write down, Prince Iohn a villaine: why this is flat periurie, to call a Princes brother villaine.
Maſter Conſtable.
Pray thee fellow peace, I do not like thy looke I promiſe thee.
What heard you him ſay elſe?
Mary that he had receiued a thouſand DuDon Iohn, for accuſing the Lady Hero wrong
Flat Burglarie as euer was committed.
Yea by th' maſſe that it is.
What elſe fellow?
And that Count Claudio did meane vpon his words, to diſgrace Hero before the whole aſſembly, and not marry her.
O villaine! thou wilt be condemn'd into euer
What elſe?
This is all.
And this is more maſters then you can deny, Prince Iohn is this morning ſecretly ſtolne away: Hero was in this manner accus'd, in this very manner refus'd, and vpon the griefe of this ſodainely died: Maſter ConLeonato, I will goe before, and ſhew him their examination.
Come, let them be opinion'd.
Let them be in the hands of Coxcombe.
Gods my life, where's the Sexton? let him write downe the Princes Officer Coxcombe: come, binde them thou naughty varlet.
Away, you are an aſſe, you are an aſſe.
Doſt thou not ſuſpect my place? doſt thou not ſuſpect my yeeres? O that hee were heere to write mee downe an aſſe! but maſters, remember that I am an aſſe: though it be not written down, yet forget not yt I am an aſſe: No thou villaine, yu art full of piety as ſhall be prou'd vpon thee by good witneſſe, I am a wiſe fellow, and which is more, an officer, and which is more, a houſhoul
Therein do men from children nothing differ.
Here comes the Prince and Claudio haſtily.
Good den, good den.
Good day to both of you.
Heare you my Lords?
We haue ſome haſte Leonato.
Nay, do not quarrell with vs, good old man.
Who wrongs him?
My villany?
Thine Claudio, thine I ſay.
You ſay not right old man.
Away, I will not haue to do with you.
Brother.
Brother Anthony.
But brother Anthonie.
My Lord, my Lord.
I will not heare you.
No come brother, away, I will be heard.
And ſhall, or ſome of vs will ſmart for it.
See, ſee, here comes the man we went to ſeeke.
Now ſignior, what newes?
Good day my Lord.
Welcome ſignior, you are almoſt come to part almoſt a fray.
Wee had likt to haue had our two noſes ſnapt off with two old men without teeth.
Leonato and his brother, what think'ſt thou? had wee fought, I doubt we ſhould haue beene too yong for them.
In a falſe quarrell there is no true valour, I came to ſeeke you both.
We haue beene vp and downe to ſeeke thee, for we are high proofe melancholly, and would faine haue it beaten away, wilt thou vſe thy wit?
It is in my ſcabberd, ſhall I draw it?
Doeſt thou weare thy wit by thy ſide?
Neuer any did ſo, though verie many haue been beſide their wit, I will bid thee drawe, as we do the min
As I am an honeſt man he lookes pale, art thou ſicke, or angrie?
What, courage man: what though care kil'd a cat, thou haſt mettle enough in thee to kill care.
Sir, I ſhall meete your wit in the careere, and you charge it againſt me, I pray you chuſe another ſub
Nay then giue him another ſtaffe, this laſt was broke croſſe.
By this light, he changes more and more, I thinke he be angrie indeede.
If he be, he knowes how to turne his girdle.
Shall I ſpeake a word in your eare?
God bleſſe me from a challenge.
You are a villaine, I ieſt not, I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare: do me right, or I will proteſt your cowardiſe: you haue kill'd a ſweete Ladie, and her death ſhall fall heauie on you, let me heare from you.
Well, I will meete you, ſo I may haue good cheare.
What, a feaſt, a feaſt?
I faith I thanke him, he hath bid me to a calues head and a Capon, the which if I doe not carue moſt cu
Sir, your wit ambles well, it goes eaſily.
Ile tell thee how Beatrice prais'd thy wit the o
For the which ſhe wept heartily, and ſaid ſhee car'd not.
Yea that ſhe did, but yet for all that, and if ſhee did not hate him deadlie, ſhee would loue him dearely, the old mans daughter told vs all.
All, all, and moreouer, God ſaw him vvhen he was hid in the garden.
But when ſhall we ſet the ſauage Bulls hornes on the ſenſible Benedicks head?
Yea and text vnder-neath, heere dwells Benedicke the married man.
Fare you well, Boy, you know my minde, I will leaue you now to your goſſep-like humor, you breake ieſts as braggards do their blades, which God be thankMeſſina: you haue among you, kill'd a ſweet and innocent Ladie: for my Lord Lacke
He is in earneſt.
In moſt profound earneſt, and Ile warrant you, for the loue of Beatrice.
And hath challeng'd thee.
Moſt ſincerely.
What a prettie thing man is, when he goes in his doublet and hoſe, and leaues off his wit.
He is then a Giant to an Ape, but then is an Ape a Doctor to ſuch a man.
But ſoft you, let me be, plucke vp my heart, and be ſad, did he not ſay my brother was fled?
Come you ſir, if iuſtice cannot tame you, ſhee ſhall nere weigh more reaſons in her ballance, nay, and you be a curſing hypocrite once, you muſt be lookt to.
How now, two of my brothers men bound? Borachio one.
Harken after their offence my Lord
Officers, what offence haue theſe men done?
Marrie ſir, they haue committed falſe report, moreouer they haue ſpoken vntruths, ſecondarily they are ſlanders, ſixt and laſtly, they haue belyed a Ladie, thirdly, they haue verified vniuſt things, and to conclude they are lying knaues.
Firſt I aske thee what they haue done, thirdlie I aske thee vvhat's their offence, ſixt and laſtlie why they are committed, and to conclude, what you lay to their charge.
Rightlie reaſoned, and in his owne diuiſion, and by my troth there's one meaning vvell ſuted.
Who haue you offended maſters, that you are thus bound to your anſwer? this learned Conſtable is too cunning to be vnderſtood, vvhat's your offence?
Sweete Prince, let me go no farther to mine anDon Iohn your brother incenſed me to ſlander the Ladie Hero, how you were brought into the Orchard, and ſaw me court Margaret in Heroes garments, how you diſgrac'd her vvhen you ſhould marrie her: my villanie they haue vpon record, vvhich I had rather ſeale vvith my death, then repeate ouer to my ſhame: the Ladie is dead vpon mine and my maſters falſe accuſation: and briefelie, I deſire nothing but the reward of a villaine.
Runs not this ſpeech like yron through your bloud?
I haue drunke poiſon whiles he vtter'd it.
But did my Brother ſet thee on to this?
Yea, and paid me richly for the practiſe of it.
Come, bring away the plaintiffes, by this time our Sexton hath reformed Signior Leonato of the matter: and maſters, do not forget to ſpecifie when time & place ſhall ſerue, that I am an Aſſe.
Here, here comes maſter Signior Leonato, and the Sexton too.
If you vvould know your wronger, looke on me.
Art thou thou the ſlaue that with thy breath haſt kild mine innocent childe?
Yea, euen I alone.
Moreouer ſir, which indeede is not vnder white and black, this plaintiffe here, the offendour did call mee aſſe, I beſeech you let it be remembred in his puniſh
I thanke thee for thy care and honeſt paines.
Your vvorſhip ſpeakes like a moſt thankefull and reuerend youth, and I praiſe God for you.
There's for thy paines.
God ſaue the foundation.
Goe, I diſcharge thee of thy priſoner, and I thanke thee.
I leaue an arrant knaue vvith your vvorſhip, which I beſeech your worſhip to correct your ſelfe, for the example of others: God keepe your vvorſhip, I wiſh your worſhip vvell, God reſtore you to health, I humblie giue you leaue to depart, and if a mer
Vntill to morrow morning, Lords, farewell.
Farewell my Lords, vve looke for you to mor
We will not faile.
To night ile mourne with Hero:
Bring you theſe fellowes on, weel talke vvith Margaret, how her acquaintance grew vvith this lewd fellow.
Praie thee ſweete Miſtris Margaret, deſerue vvell at my hands, by helping mee to the ſpeech of Beatrice.
Will you then write me a Sonnet in praiſe of my beautie?
In ſo high a ſtile Margaret, that no man liuing ſhall come ouer it, for in moſt comely truth thou deſer
To haue no man come ouer me, why, ſhall I al
Thy wit is as quicke as the grey-hounds mouth, it catches.
And yours, as blunt as the Fencers foiles, which hit, but hurt not.
A moſt manly wit Margaret, it will not hurt a woman: and ſo I pray thee call Beatrice, I giue thee the bucklers.
Giue vs the ſwords, wee haue bucklers of our owne.
If you vſe them Margaret, you muſt put in the pikes with a vice, and they are dangerous weapons for Maides.
Well, I will call Beatrice to you, who I thinke hath legges.
And therefore will come. The God of loue that ſits aboue, and knowes me, and knowes me, how pittiBeatrice would'ſt thou come when I cal'd thee?
Yea Signior, and depart when you bid me.
O ſtay but till then.
Then, is ſpoken: fare you well now, and yet ere I goe, let me goe with that I came, which is, with knowClaudio.
Onely foule words, and thereupon I will kiſſe thee.
Foule words is but foule wind, and foule wind is but foule breath, and foule breath is noiſome, there
Thou haſt frighted the word out of his right ſence, ſo forcible is thy wit, but I muſt tell thee plainely, Claudio vndergoes my challenge, and either I muſt ſhort
For them all together, which maintain'd ſo politique a ſtate of euill, that they will not admit any good part to intermingle with them: but for which of my good parts did you firſt ſuffer loue for me?
Suffer loue! a good epithite, I do ſuffer loue in
In ſpight of your heart I think, alas poore heart, if you ſpight it for my ſake, I will ſpight it for yours, for I will neuer loue that which my friend hates.
Thou and I are too wiſe to wooe peacea
It appeares not in this confeſſion, there's not one wiſe man among twentie that will praiſe himſelfe.
An old, an old inſtance Beatrice, that liu'd in the time of good neighbours, if a man doe not erect in this age his owne tombe ere he dies, hee ſhall liue no longer in monuments, then the Bels ring, & the Widdow weepes.
And how long is that thinke you?
Queſtion, why an hower in clamour and a quar
Verie ill.
And how doe you?
Verie ill too.
Serue God, loue me, and mend, there will I leaue you too, for here comes one in haſte.
Madam, you muſt come to your Vncle, yonHero hath bin falſelie accuſde, the
Will you go heare this newes Signior?
I will hue in thy heart, die in thy lap, and be bu
Is this the monument of Leonato?
It is my Lord.
Now muſick ſound & ſing your ſolemn hymne
Now vnto thy bones good night, yeerely will I do this right.
Good morrow maſters, each his ſeuerall way.
Did I not tell you ſhe was innocent?
Well, I am glad that all things ſort ſo well.
Which I will doe with confirm'd countenance.
Frier, I muſt intreat your paines, I thinke.
To doe what Signior?
That eye my daughter lent her, 'tis moſt true.
And I doe with an eye of loue require her.
My heart is with your liking.
And my helpe.
Good morrow to this faire aſſembly.
Ile hold my minde were ſhe an Ethiope.
Call her forth brother, heres the Frier ready.
This ſame is ſhe, and I
Why thou ſhe's mine, ſweet let me ſee your face.
Another Hero?
The former Hero, Hero that is dead.
Shee died my Lord, but whiles her ſlander liu'd.
Soft and faire Frier, which is Beatrice?
I anſwer to that name, what is your will?
Doe not you loue me?
Why no, no more then reaſon.
Why then your Vncle, and the Prince, & Claudio, haue beene deceiued, they ſwore you did.
Doe not you loue mee?
Troth no, no more then reaſon.
They ſwore you were almoſt ſicke for me.
They ſwore you were wel-nye dead for me.
Tis no matter, then you doe not loue me?
No truly, but in friendly recompence.
Come Coſin, I am ſure you loue the gentlema
A miracle, here's our owne hands againſt our hearts: come I will haue thee, but by this light I take thee for pittie.
I would not denie you, but by this good day, I yeeld vpon great perſwaſion, & partly to ſaue your life, for I was told, you were in a conſumption.
Peace I will ſtop your mouth.
How doſt thou Benedicke the married man?
Ile tell thee what Prince: a Colledge of witte-crackers cannot flout mee out of my humour, doſt thou think I care for a Satyre or an Epigram? no, if a man will be beaten with braines, a ſhall weare nothing handſome about him: in briefe, ſince I do purpoſe to marry, I will thinke nothing to any purpoſe that the world can ſay aClaudio, I did thinke to haue beaten thee, but in that thou art like to be my kinſman, liue vn
I had well hop'd yu wouldſt haue denied Beatrice, yt I might haue cudgel'd thee out of thy ſingle life, to make thee a double dealer, which out of queſtio
Come, come, we are friends, let's haue a dance ere we are married, that we may lighten our own hearts, and our wiues heeles.
Wee'll haue dancing afterward.
Firſt, of my vvord, therfore play muſick. Prince, thou art ſad, get, thee a vvife, get thee a vvife, there is no ſtaff more reuerend then one tipt with horn.
Thinke not on him till to morrow, ile deuiſe thee braue puniſhments for him: ſtrike vp Pipers.
Your oath is paſt, to paſſe away from theſe.
You ſwore to that Berowne, and to the reſt.
Why that to know which elſe wee ſhould not know.
Things hid & bard (you meane) fro
I, that is ſtudies god-like recompence.
How well hee's read, to reaſon againſt reading.
Proceeded well, to ſtop all good proceeding.
Hee weedes the corne, and ſtill lets grow the weeding.
The Spring is neare when greene geeſſe are a breeding.
How followes that?
Fit in his place and time.
In reaſon nothing.
Something then in rime.
Well, fit you out: go home Berowne: adue.
How well this yeelding reſcues thee from ſhame.
Foure dayes agoe.
Marry that did I.
Sweete Lord, and why?
To fright them hence with that dread penaltie, A dangerous law againſt gentilitie. Item, If any man be ſeene to talke with a woman with
Which is the Dukes owne perſon.
This fellow, What would'ſt?
I my ſelfe reprehend his owne perſon, for I am his graces Tharborough: But I would ſee his own perſon in fleſh and blood.
This is he.
Sir the Contempts thereof are as touching mee.
A letter from the magnificent Armado.
How low ſoeuer the matter, I hope in God for high words.
A high hope for a low heauen, God grant vs pa
To heare, or forbeare hearing.
To heare meekely ſir, and to laugh moderately, or to forbeare both.
Well ſir, be it as the ſtile ſhall giue vs cauſe to clime in the merrineſſe.
In what manner?
In manner and forme following ſir all thoſe three. I was ſeene with her in the Mannor houſe, ſitting with her vpon the Forme, and taken following her into the Parke: which put to gether, is in manner and forme following. Now ſir for the manner; It is the manner of a man to ſpeake to a woman, for the forme in ſome forme.
For the following ſir.
As it ſhall follow in my correction, and God de
Will you heare this Letter with attention?
As we would heare an Oracle.
Such is the ſimplicitie of man to harken after the fleſh.
GReat Deputie, the Welk
Nauar,
Not a vvord of Coſtard yet.
So it is.
It may be ſo: but if he ſay it is ſo, he is in telling true: but ſo.
Peace,
Be to me, and euery man that dares not fight.
No words,
Of other mens ſecrets I beſeech you.
So it is beſieged with ſable coloured melancholie, I did commend the blacke oppreſſing humour to the moſt wholeſome Phyſicke of thy health-giuing ayre: And as I am a Gentleman, betooke my ſelfe to walke: the time When? about the ſixt houre, When beaſts moſt graſe, birds beſt pecke, and men ſit downe to that nouriſhment which is called ſupper: So much for the time When. Now for the ground Which? which I meane I walkt vpon, it is ycliped, Thy Parke. Then for the place Where? where I meane I did encounter that obſcene and moſt prepoſterous euent that draweth from my ſnow-white pen the ebon coloured Inke, which heere thou vieweſt, beholdeſt, ſuruayeſt, or ſeeſt. But to the place Where? It standeth North North-eaſt and by Eaſt from the Weſt corner of thy curious knotted garden; There did I ſee that low ſpirited Swaine, that baſe Minow of thy myrth, (
With a Wench.
With a childe of our Grandmother Ea female; or for thy more ſweet vnderſtanding a woman: him, I (as my euer eſteemed dutie prickes me on) haue ſent to thee, to receiue the meed of puniſhment by thy ſweet Graces Officer Anthony Dull, a man of good repute, carriage, bearing, & estimation.
Me, an't ſhall pleaſe you? I am Anthony Dull.
For Iaquenetta (ſo is the weaker veſſell called) which I apprehended with the aforeſaid Swaine, I keeper her as a veſſell of thy Lawes furie, and ſhall at the leaſt of thy ſweet notice, bring her to triall. Thine in all complements of deuoted and heart-burning heat of dutie.
Don Adriana de Armado.
This is not ſo well as I looked for, but the beſt that euer I heard.
I the beſt, for the worſt. But ſirra, What ſay you to this?
Sir I confeſſe the Wench.
Did you heare the Proclamation?
I doe confeſſe much of the hearing it, but little of the marking of it.
It was proclaimed a yeeres impriſonment to bee taken with a Wench.
I was taken with none ſir, I was taken vvith a Damoſell.
Well, it was proclaimed Damoſell.
This was no Damoſell neyther ſir, ſhee was a Virgin.
It is ſo varried to, for it was proclaimed Virgin.
If it were, I denie her Virginitie: I was taken with a Maide.
This Maid will not ſerue your turne ſir.
This Maide will ſerue my turne ſir.
Sir I will pronounce your ſentence: You ſhall faſt a Weeke with Branne and water.
I had rather pray a Moneth with Mutton and Porridge.
I ſuffer for the truth ſir: for true it is, I was taIaquenetta, and Iaquenetta is a true girle, and therefore welcome the ſowre cup of proſperitie, afflicti
Boy, What ſigne is it when a man of great ſpirit growes melancholy?
A great ſigne ſir, that he will looke ſad.
Why? ſadneſſe is one and the ſelfe-ſame thing deare impe.
No no, O Lord ſir no.
How canſt thou part ſadneſſe and melancholy my tender Iuuenall?
By a familiar demonſtration of the working, my tough ſigneur.
Why tough ſigneur? Why tough ſigneur?
Why tender Iuuenall? Why tender Iuuenall?
I ſpoke it tender Iuuenall, as a congruent apa
And I tough ſigneur, as an appertinent title to your olde time, which we may name tough.
Pretty and apt.
How meane you ſir, I pretty, and my ſaying apt? or I apt, and my ſaying prettie?
Thou pretty becauſe little.
Little pretty, becauſe little: wherefore apt?
And therefore apt, becauſe quicke.
Speake you this in my praiſe Maſter?
In thy condigne praiſe.
I will praiſe an Eele with the ſame praiſe.
What? that an Eele is ingenuous.
That an Eele is quicke.
I doe ſay thou art quicke in anſweres. Thou heat'ſt my bloud.
I am anſwer'd ſir.
I loue not to be croſt.
He ſpeakes the meere contrary, croſſes loue not him.
I haue promis'd to ſtudy iij. yeres with the Duke.
You may doe it in an houre ſir.
Impoſſible.
How many is one thrice told?
I am ill at reckning, it fits the ſpirit of a Tapſter.
You are a gentleman and a gameſter fir.
I confeſſe both, they are both the varniſh of a compleat man.
Then I am ſure you know how much the groſſe ſumme of deuſ-ace amounts to.
It doth amount to one more then two.
Which the baſe vulgar call three.
True.
Why ſir is this ſuch a peece of ſtudy? Now here's three ſtudied, ere you'll thrice wink, & how eaſie it is to put yeres to the word three, and ſtudy three yeeres in two words, the dancing horſe will tell you.
A moſt fine Figure.
To proue you a Cypher.
I will heereupon confeſſe I am in loue: and as it is baſe for a Souldier to loue; ſo am I in loue with a baſe wench. If drawing my ſword againſt the humour of affection, would deliuer mee from the reprobate thought of it, I would take Deſire priſoCupid. Comfort me Boy, What great men haue beene in loue?
Hercules Maſter.
Moſt ſweete Hercules: more authority deare Boy, name more; and ſweet my childe let them be men of good repute and carriage.
Sampſon Maſter, he was a man of good carriage, great carriage: for hee carried the Towne-gates on his backe like a Porter: and he was in loue.
O well-knit Sampſon, ſtrong ioynted Sampſon; I doe excell thee in my rapier, as much as thou didſt mee in carrying gates. I am in loue too. Who was Sampſons loue my deare Moth?
A Woman, Maſter.
Of what complexion?
Of all the foure, or the three, or the two, or one of the foure.
Tell me preciſely of what complexion?
Of the ſea-water Greene ſir.
Is that one of the foure complexions?
As I haue read ſir, and the beſt of them too.
Greene indeed is the colour of Louers: but to haue a Loue of that colour, methinkes Sampſon had ſmall reaſon for it. He ſurely affected her for her wit.
It was ſo ſir, for ſhe had a greene wit.
My Loue is moſt immaculate white and red.
Moſt immaculate thoughts Maſter, are mask'd vnder ſuch colours.
Define, define, well educated infant.
My fathers witte, and my mothers tongue aſſiſt mee.
Sweet inuocation of a childe, moſt pretty and patheticall.
Is there not a ballet Boy, of the King and the Begger?
The world was very guilty of ſuch a Ballet ſome three ages ſince, but I thinke now 'tis not to be found: or if it were, it would neither ſerue for the writing, nor the tune.
I will haue that ſubiect newly writ ore, that I may example my digreſſion by ſome mighty preſident. Boy, I doe loue that Countrey girle that I tooke in the Parke with the rationall hinde Coſtard: ſhe deſerues well.
To bee whip'd: and yet a better loue then my Maſter.
Sing Boy, my ſpirit grows heauy in ioue.
And that's great maruell, louing a light wench.
I ſay ſing.
Forbeare till this company be paſt.
Sir, the Dukes pleaſure, is that you keepe Coſtard ſafe, and you muſt let him take no delight, nor no penance, but hee muſt faſt three daies a weeke: for this Damſell, I muſt keepe her at the Parke, ſhee is alowd for the Day-woman. Fare you well.
I do betray my ſelfe with bluſhing: Maide.
Man.
I wil viſit thee at the Lodge.
That's here by.
I know where it is ſituate.
Lord how wiſe you are!
I will tell thee wonders.
With what face?
I loue thee.
So I heard you ſay.
And ſo farewell.
Faire weather after you.
Come Iaquenetta, away.
Villaine, thou ſhalt faſt for thy offences ere thou be pardoned.
Well ſir, I hope when I doe it, I ſhall doe it on a full ſtomacke.
Thou ſhalt be heauily puniſhed.
I am more bound to you then your fellowes, for they are but lightly rewarded.
Take away this villaine, ſhut him vp.
Come you tranſgreſſing ſlaue, away.
Let mee not bee pent vp ſir, I will faſt being looſe.
No ſir, that were faſt and looſe: thou ſhalt to priſon.
Well, if euer I do ſee the merry dayes of deſo
What ſhall ſome ſee?
Nay nothing, Maſter Moth, but what they looke vpon. It is not for priſoners to be ſilent in then words, and therefore I will ſay nothing: I thanke God, I haue as little patience as another man, and therefore I can be quiet.
I doe affect the very ground (which is baſe) where her ſhooe (which is baſer) guided by her foote (which is baſeſt) doth tread. I ſhall be forſworn (which ia a great argument of falſhood) if I loue. And how can that be true loue, which is falſly attempted? Loue is a faSampſon was ſo tempted, and he had an excelSalomon ſo ſeduced, and hee had a very good witte. Cupids But ſhaft is too hard for Hercules Clubbe, and therefore too much ods for a Spa
Proud of imployment, willingly I goe.
Longauill is one.
Know you the man?
Some merry mocking Lord belike, iſt ſo?
They ſay ſo moſt, that moſt his humors know.
Heere comes Boyet.
Now, what admittance Lord?
Faire Princeſſe, welcom to the Court of Nauar.
Faire I giue you backe againe, and welcome I haue not yet: the roofe of this Court is too high to bee yours, and welcome to the wide fields, too baſe to be mine.
You ſhall be welcome Madam to my Court.
I wil be welcome then, Conduct me thither.
Heare me deare Lady, I haue ſworne an oath.
Our Lady helpe my Lord, he'll be forſworne.
Not for the world faire Madam, by my will.
Why, will ſhall breake it will, and nothing els.
Your Ladiſhip is ignorant what it is.
Madam, I will, if ſodainly I may.
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
Did not I dance with you in Brabant once?
I know you did.
How needleſſe was it then to ask the queſtion?
You muſt not be ſo quicke.
'Tis long of you yt ſpur me with ſuch queſtions.
Your wit's too hot, it ſpeeds too faſt, 'twill tire.
Not till it leaue the Rider in the mire.
What time a day?
The howre that fooles ſhould aske.
Now faire befall your maske.
Faire fall the face it couers.
And ſend you many louers.
Amen, ſo you be none.
Nay then will I be gone.
Satisfie me ſo.
Sweet health & faire deſires conſort your grace.
Thy own wiſh wiſh I thee, in euery place.
Lady, I will commend you to my owne heart.
I would you heard it grone.
Is the ſoule ſicke?.
Sicke at the heart.
Alacke, let it bloud.
Would that doe it good?
My Phiſicke ſaies I.
Will you prick't with your eye.
No poynt, with my knife.
Now God ſaue thy life.
And yours from long liuing.
I cannot ſtay thankſ-giuing.
Sir, I pray you a word: What Lady is that ſame?
The heire of Alanſon, Roſalin her name.
A gallant Lady, Mounſier fare you well.
I beſeech you a word: what is ſhe in the white?
A woman ſomtimes, if you ſaw her in the light.
Perchance light in the light: I deſire her name.
Pray you ſir, whoſe daughter?
Her Mothers, I haue heard.
Gods bleſſing a your beard.
Not vnlike ſir, that may be.
What's her name in the cap.
Katherine by good hap.
Is ſhe wedded, or no.
To her will ſir, or ſo.
You are welcome ſir, adiew.
Fare well to me ſir, and welcome to you.
And euery ieſt but a word.
It was well done of you to take him at his word.
I was as willing to grapple, as he was to boord.
No Sheepe (ſweet Lamb) vnleſſe we feed on your lips.
You Sheep & I paſture: ſhall that finiſh the ieſt?
So you grant paſture for me.
Belonging to whom?
To my fortunes and me.
With what?
With that which we Louers intitle affected.
Your reaſon.
Come to our Pauillion, Boyet is diſpoſde.
Thou art an old Loue-monger, and ſpeakeſt skilfully.
He is Cupids Grandfather, and learnes news of him.
Then was Venus like her mother, for her fa
Do you heare my mad wenches?
No.
What then, do you ſee?
I, our way to be gone.
You are too hard for me.
Warble childe, make paſſionate my ſenſe of hea
Concolinel.
Sweete Ayer, go tenderneſſe of yeares: take this Key, giue enlargement to the ſwaine, bring him fe
Will you win your loue with a French braule?
How meaneſt thou, brauling in French?
No my compleat maſter, but to Iigge off a tune at the tongues end, canarie to it with the feete, humour it with turning vp your eie: ſigh a note and ſing a note, ſometime through the throate: if you ſwallowed loue with ſinging, loue ſometime through: noſe as if you ſnuft vp loue by ſmelling loue with your hat penthouſe-like ore the ſhop of your eies, with your armes croſt on your thinbellie doublet, like a Rabbet on a ſpit, or your hands in your pocket, like a man after the old painting, and keepe not too long in one tune, but a ſnip and away: theſe are complements, theſe are humours, theſe betraie nice wenches that would be betraied without theſe, and make them men of note: do you note men that moſt are affected to theſe?
How haſt thou purchaſed this experience?
By my penne of obſeruation.
But O, but O.
The Hobbie-horſe is forgot.
Cal'ſt thou my loue Hobbi-horſe.
Almoſt I had.
Negligent ſtudent, learne her by heart.
By heart, and in heart Boy.
And out of heart Maſter: all thoſe three I will proue.
What wilt thou proue?
A man, if I liue (and this) by, in, and without, vp
I am all theſe three.
And three times as much more, and yet nothing at all.
Fetch hither the Swaine, he muſt carrie mee a letter.
A meſſage well ſimpathis'd, a Horſe to be em
Ha, ha, What ſaieſt thou?
Marrie ſir, you muſt ſend the Aſſe vpon the Horſe for he is verie ſlow gated: but I goe.
The way is but ſhort, away.
As ſwift as Lead ſir.
Thy meaning prettie ingenious, is not Lead a mettall heauie, dull, and ſlow?
Minnime honeſt Maſter, or rather Maſter no.
I ſay Lead is ſlow.
Thump then, and I flee.
A wonder Maſter, here's a Coſtard broken in a ſhin.
Some enigma, ſome riddle, come, thy Lenuoy begin.
No egma, no riddle, no lenuoy, no ſalue, in thee male ſir. Or ſir, Plantan, a plaine Plantan: no lenuoy, no lenuoy, no Salue ſir, but a Plantan.
By vertue thou inforceſt laughter, thy ſillie thought, my ſpleene, the heauing of my lunges prouokes me to rediculous ſmyling: O pardon me my ſtars, doth the inconſiderate take ſalue for lenuoy, and the word lenuoy for a
Doe the wiſe thinke them other, is not lenuoy a ſalue?
A good Lenuoy, ending in the Gooſe: would you deſire more?
But tell me: How was there a Coſtard broken in a ſhin?
I will tell you ſencibly.
We will talke no more of this matter.
Till there be more matter in the ſhin.
Sirra Coſtard, I will infranchiſe thee.
O, marrie me to one Francis, I ſmell ſome Lenuoy, ſome Gooſe in this.
By my ſweete ſoule, I meane, ſetting thee at li
True, true, and now you will be my purgation, and let me looſe.
I giue thee thy libertie, ſet thee from durance, and in lieu thereof, impoſe on thee nothing but this: Beare this ſignificant to the countrey Maide Iaquenetta: there is remuneration, for the beſt ward of mine honours is rewarding my dependants. Moth, follow.
My ſweete ounce of mans fleſh, my in-conie Iew: Now will I looke to his remuneration. Remuneration, O, that's the Latine word for three-far
O my good knaue Coſtard, exceedingly well met.
Pray you ſir, How much Carnation Ribbon may a man buy for a remuneration?
What is a remuneration?
Marrie ſir, halfe pennie farthing.
O, Why then three farthings worth of Silke.
I thanke your worſhip, God be wy you.
When would you haue it done ſir?
O this after-noone.
Well, I will doe it ſir: Fare you well.
O thou knoweſt not what it is.
I ſhall know ſir, when I haue done it.
Why villaine thou muſt know firſt.
I wil come to your worſhip to morrow morning.
Gardon, O ſweete gardon, better then remune
I know not, but I thinke it was not he.
Pardon me Madam, for I meant not ſo.
Yes Madam faire.
Nothing but faire is that which you inherit.
Here comes a member of the common-wealth.
God dig-you-den all, pray you which is the head Lady?
Thou ſhalt know her fellow, by the reſt that haue no heads.
Which is the greateſt Lady, the higheſt?
The thickeſt, and the talleſt.
What's your will ſir? What's your will?
BY heauen, that thou art faire, is moſt infallible: true that thou art beauteous, truth it ſelfe that thou art louely: more fairer then faire, beautifull then beautious, truer then truth it ſelfe: haue comiſeration on thy heroiCophetua ſet eie vpon the pernicious and indubitate BegZenelophon: and he it was that might rightly ſay, Veni, vidi, vici: Which to annothanize in the vulgar, O baſe and obſcure vulgar;
What plume of feathers is hee that indited this Letter? What veine? What Wethercocke? Did you euer heare better?
I am much deceiued, but I remember the ſtile.
Elſe your memorie is bad, going ore it erewhile.
I told you, my Lord.
To whom ſhould'ſt thou giue it?
From my Lord to my Lady.
From which Lord, to which Lady?
Who is the ſhooter? Who is the ſhooter?
Shall I teach you to know.
I my continent of beautie.
Why ſhe that beares the Bow. Finely put off.
Well then, I am the ſhooter.
And who is your Deare?
If we chooſe by the hornes, your ſelfe come not neare. Finely put on indeede.
You ſtill wrangle with her Boyet, and ſhee ſtrikes at the brow.
Shall I come vpon thee with an old ſaying, that was a man when King Pippin of France was a little boy, as touching the hit it.
So I may anſwere thee with one as old that was a woman when Queene Guinouer of Brittaine was a little wench, as touching the hit it.
By my troth moſt pleaſant, how both did fit it.
A marke marueilous well ſhot, for they both did hit.
Wide a' th bow hand. yfaith your hand is out.
Indeede a' muſt ſhoote nearer, or heele ne're hit the clout.
And if my hand be out, then belike your hand is in.
Then will ſhee get the vpſhoot by cleauing the is in.
Come, come, you talke greaſely, your lips grow foule,
She's too hard for you at pricks, ſir challenge her to boule.
I feare too much rubbing: good night my good Oule.
Very reuerent ſport truely, and done in the teſti
The Deare was (as you know) ſanguis in blood, ripe as a Pomwater, who now hangeth like a Iewell in the eare of Celo the ſkie; the welken the heauen, and aTerra, the ſoyle, the land, the earth.
Truely M. Holofernes, the epythithes are ſweetly varied like a ſcholler at the leaſt: but ſir I aſſure ye, it was a Bucke of the firſt head.
Sir Nathaniel, haud credo.
'Twas not a haud credo, 'twas a Pricket.
Moſt barbarous intimation: yet a kinde of inſiin via, in way of explication facere: as it were replication, or rather oſtentare, to ſhow as it were his inclination after his vndreſſed, vnpoliſhed, vneducahaud credo for a Deare.
I ſaid the Deare was not a haud credo, 'twas a Pricket.
Twice ſod ſimplicitie, his coctus, O thou mon
His intellect is not repleniſhed, hee is onely an animall, onely ſenſible in the duller parts: and ſuch barren plants are ſet before vs, that we thankfull ſhould be: which we taſte and feeling, are for thoſe parts that doe fructifie in vs more then he.
You two are book-men: Can you tell by your wit, What was a month old at Cains birth, that's not fiue weekes old as yet?
Dictiſima goodman Dull, dictiſima goodman Dull.
What is dictima?
A title to Phebe, to Luna, to the Moone.
'Tis true indeede, the Colluſion holds in the Exchange.
God comfort thy capacity, I ſay th' alluſion holds in the Exchange.
And I ſay the poluſion holds in the Exchange: for the Moone is neuer but a month old: and I ſay be
Sir Nathaniel, will you heare an extemporall Epytaph on the death of the Deare, and to humour the ignorant call'd the Deare, the Princeſſe kill'd a Pricket.
Perge, good M. Holofernes, perge, ſo it ſhall pleaſe you to abrogate ſcurilitie.
A rare talent.
If a talent be a claw, looke how he clawes him with a talent.
This is a gift that I haue ſimple: ſimple, a foo
Sir, I praiſe the Lord for you, and ſo may my pariſhioners, for their Sonnes are well tutor'd by you, and their Daughters profit very greatly vnder you: you are a good member of the common-wealth.
Mehercle, If their Sonnes be ingennous, they
Vir ſapis qui pauca loquitur, a ſoule Feminine ſaluteth vs.
God giue you good morrow M. Perſon.
Maſter Perſon, quaſi Perſon? And if one ſhould be perſt, Which is the one?
Marry M. Schoolemaſter, hee that is likeſt to a hogſhead.
Of perſing a Hogshead, a good luſter of con
Good Maſter Parſon be ſo good as reade mee this Letter, it was giuen mee by Coſtard, and ſent mee from Don Armatho: I beſeech you reade it.
Facile procor gellida, quando pecas omnia ſub vmbraruminat, and ſo forth. Ah good old
I ſir, and very learned.
You finde not the apoſtraphas, and ſo miſſe the accent. Let me ſuperuiſe the cangenet.
Here are onely numbers ratified, but for the elegancy, facility, & golden cadence of poeſie caret: Ouiddius Naſo was the man. And why in deed
I ſir from one mounſier Berowne, one of the ſtrange Queenes Lords.
I will ouerglance the ſuperſcript.
To the ſnow-white hand of the moſt beautious LadyRoſaline.
I will looke againe on the intellect of the Letter, for the nomination of the partie written to the perſon writ
Your Ladiſhips in all deſired imployment,Berowne.
Sir Holofernes, this Berowne is one of the Votaries with the King, and here he hath framed a Letter to a ſe
Haue with thee my girle.
Sir you haue done this in the feare of God very religiouſly: and as a certaine Father ſaith
Sir tell not me of the Father, I do feare colouraNathaniel?
Marueilous well for the pen.
I do dine to day at the fathers of a certaine Pubien vonuto, where I will proue thoſe Verſes to be very vnlearned, neither ſauouring of Poetrie, Wit, nor Inuention. I beſeech your So
And thanke you to: for ſocietie (ſaith the text) is the happineſſe of life.
They haue pitcht a Toyle, I am toyling in a pytch, pitch that defiles; defile, a foule word: Well, ſet thee downe ſorrow; for ſo they ſay the foole ſaid, and ſo ſay I, and I the foole: Well proued wit. By the Lord this Loue is as mad as Aiax, it kils ſheepe, it kils mee, I a ſheepe: Well proued againe a my ſide. I will not loue; if I do hang me: yfaith I will not. O but her eye: by this light, but for her eye, I would not loue her; yes, for her two eyes. Well, I doe nothing in the world but lye, and lye in my throate. By heauen I doe loue, and it hath taught mee to Rime, and to be mallicholie: and here is part of my Rime, and heere my mallicholie. Well, ſhe hath one a' my Sonnets already, the Clowne bore it, the Foole ſent it, and the Lady hath it: ſweet Clowne, ſwee
Ay mee!
Shot by heauen: proceede ſweet Cupid, thou haſt thumpt him with thy Birdbolt vnder the left pap: in faith ſecrets.
Now in thy likeneſſe, one more foole appeare.
Ay me, I am forſworne.
Why he comes in like a periure, wearing papers.
In loue I hope, ſweet fellowſhip in ſhame.
One drunkard loues another of the name.
Am I the firſt yt haue been periur'd ſo?
This ſame ſhall goe.
By whom ſhall I ſend this (company?) Stay.
O moſt diuine Kate.
O moſt prophane coxcombe.
By heauen the wonder of a mortall eye.
By earth ſhe is not, corporall, there you lye.
Her Amber haires for foule hath amber coted.
An Amber coloured Rauen was well noted.
As vpright as the Cedar.
Stoope I ſay her ſhoulder is with-child.
As faire as day.
I as ſome daies, but then no ſunne muſt ſhine.
O that I had my wiſh?
And I had mine.
And mine too good Lord.
Amen, ſo I had mine: Is not that a good word?
Once more Ile read the Ode that I haue writ.
Once more Ile marke how Loue can varry Wit.
On a day, alack the day: Loue, whoſe Month is euery May, Spied a bloſſome paſſing faire, Playing in the wanton ayre: Through the Veluet, leaues the winde, All vnſeene, can paſſage finde. That the Louer ſicke to death, Wiſh himſelfe the heauens breath. Ayre (quoth he) thy cheekes may blowe, Ayre, would I might triumph ſo. But alacke my hand is ſworne, Nere to plucke thee from thy throne: Vow alacke for youth vnmeete, Youth ſo apt to plucke a ſweet. Doe not call it ſinne in me, That I am forſworne for thee. Thou for whom louewould ſweare,Iunobut an Aethiop were,And denie himſelfe for Ioue.Turning mortall for thy Loue.
In pruning mee, when ſhall you heare that I will praiſe a hand, a foot, a face, an eye: a gate, a ſtate, a brow, a breſt, a waſte, a legge, a limme.
I poſt from Loue, good Louer let me go.
God bleſſe the King.
What Preſent haſt thou there?
Some certaine treaſon.
What makes treaſon heere?
Nay it makes nothing ſir.
Berowne, read it ouer.
Where hadſt thou it?
Of Coſtard.
Where hadſt thou it?
Of Dun Adramadio, Dun Adramadio.
How now, what is in you? why doſt thou tear it?
A toy my Liedge, a toy: your grace needes not feare it.
It did moue him to paſſion, and therefore let's heare it.
It is Berowns writing, and heere is his name.
What?
Now the number is euen.
True true, we are fowre: will theſe Turtles be gone?
Hence ſirs, away.
Walk aſide the true folke, & let the traytors ſtay.
What, did theſe rent lines ſhew ſome loue of thine?
By heauen, thy Loue is blacke as Ebonie.
To look like her are Chimny-ſweepers blacke.
And ſince her time, are Colliers counted bright.
And Aethiops of their ſweet complexion crake.
Dark needs no Candles now, for dark is light.
Ile proue her faire, or talke till dooms-day here.
No Diuell will fright thee then ſo much as ſhee.
I neuer knew man hold vile ſtuffe ſo deere.
Looke, heer's thy loue, my foot and her face ſee.
But what of this, are we not all in loue?
O nothing ſo ſure, and thereby all forſworne.
I marie there, ſome flattery for this euill.
Some ſalue for periurie.
Saint Cupid then, and Souldiers to the field.
Satis quid ſufficit.
I praiſe God for you ſir, your reaſons at dinner haue beene ſharpe & ſententious: pleaſant without ſcurquondam day with a compaDon Adriano de Armatho.
Noui hominum tanquam te, His humour is lofty, his diſcourſe peremptorie: his tongue filed, his eye ambitious, his gate maieſticall, and his generall behaui
A moſt ſingular and choiſe Epithat,
He draweth out the thred of his verboſitie, fivocatur nebour; neigh abreuiated ne: this is abhominable, which he would call abhomine inteligis domine, to make franti
Laus deo, bene intelligo.
Bome boon for boon preſcian, a little ſcratcht, 'twil ſerue.
Vides ne quis venit?
Video, & gaudio.
Chirra.
Quar
Chirra, not Sirra?
Men of peace well incountred.
Moſt millitarie ſir ſalutation
They haue beene at a great feaſt of Languages, and ſtolne the ſcraps.
O they haue liu'd long on the almes-basket of words. I maruell thy M. hath not eaten thee for a word, for thou art not ſo long by the head as honorificabilitu
Peace, the peale begins.
Mounſier, are you not lettred?
Ba, puericia with a horne added.
Ba moſt ſeely Sheepe, with a horne: you heare his learning.
Quis quis, thou Conſonant?
The laſt of the fiue Vowels if You repeat them, or the fift if I.
I will repeat them: a e I.
The She
Now by the ſalt waue of the mediteranium, a ſweet tutch, a quicke vene we of wit, ſnip ſnap, quick & home, it reioyceth my intellect, true wit.
Offered by a childe to an olde man: which is wit-old.
What is the figure? What is the figure?
Hornes.
Thou diſputes like an Infant: goe whip thy Gigge.
Lend me your Horne to make one, and I will whip about your Infamie vnum cita a gigge of a Cuck
And I had but one penny in the world, thou ſhouldſt haue it to buy Ginger bread: Hold, there is the very Remuneration I had of thy Maiſter, thou halfpenny purſe of wit, thou Pidgeon-egge of diſcretion. O & the heauens were ſo pleaſed, that thou wert but my Baſtard; What a ioyfull father wouldſt thou make mee? Goe to, thou haſt it ad dungil, at the fingers ends, as they ſay.
Oh I ſmell falſe Latine, dunghel for vnguem.
Artſ-man preambulat, we will bee ſingled from the barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the Charg
Or Mons the hill.
At your ſweet pleaſure, for the Mountaine.
I doe ſans queſtion.
Sir, it is the Kings moſt ſweet pleaſure and afpoſteriors of this day, which the rude multitude call the after-noone.
The poſterior of the day, moſt generous ſir, is lia
Sir, the King is a noble Gentleman, and my faArmado a Souldier, a man of trauell, that hath ſeene the world: but let that paſſe; the very all of all is: but ſweet heart, I do implore ſecrecie, that the King would haue mee preſent the Princeſſe (ſweet chucke) with ſome delightfull oſtenta
Sir, you ſhall preſent before her the Nine WorHolofernes, as concerning ſome entertainment of time, ſome ſhow in the poſterior of this day, to bee rendred by our aſſiſtants the Kings command: and this moſt gallant, illuſtrate and learned Gentleman, before the Princeſſe: I ſay none ſo ſit as to preſent the Nine Worthies.
Where will you finde men worthy enough to preſent them?
Ioſua, your ſelfe: my ſelfe, and this gallant genIudas Machabeus; this Swaine (becauſe of his great limme or Pompey the great, the Page Hercules.
Pardon ſir, error: He is not quantitie enough for that Worthies thumb, hee is not ſo big as the end of his Club.
Shall I haue audience? he ſhall preſent Hercules in minoritie: his
An excellent deuice: ſo if any of the audience hiſſe, you may cry, Well done Hercules, now thou cru
For the reſt of the Worthies?
I will play three my ſelfe.
Thrice worthy Gentleman.
Shall I tell you a thing?
We attend.
We will haue, if this fadge not, an Antique. I beſeech you follow.
Via good-man Dull, thou haſt ſpoken no word all this while.
Nor vnderſtood none neither ſir.
Alone, we will employ thee.
Ile make one in a dance, or ſo: or I will play
Moſt Dull, honeſt Dull, to our ſport away.
Madam, came nothing elſe along with that?
I, and a ſhrewd vnhappy gallowes too.
You'll nere be friends with him, a kild your ſiſter.
He made her melancholy, ſad, and heauy, and ſo ſhe died: had ſhe beene Light like you, of ſuch a mer
What's your darke meaning mouſe, of this light word?
A light condition in a beauty darke.
We need more light to finde your meaning out.
Look what you doe, you doe it ſtil i' th darke.
So do not you, for you are a light Wench.
Indeed I waigh not you, and therefore light.
You waigh me not, O that's you care not for me.
Great reaſon: for paſt care, is ſtill paſt cure.
Any thing like?
Much in the letters, nothing in the praiſe.
Beauteous as Incke: a good concluſion.
Faire as a text B. in a Coppie booke.
Madame, this Gloue.
Did he not ſend you twaine?
I, or I would theſe hands might neuer part.
We are wiſe girles to mocke our Louers ſo.
Heere comes Boyet, and mirth in his face.
O I am ſtab'd with laughter, Wher's her Grace?
Thy newes Boyet?
But what, but what, come they to viſit vs?
Come on then, weare the fauours moſt in ſight.
But in this changing, What is your intent?
But ſhall we dance, if they deſire vs too't?
The Trompet ſounds, be maskt, the maskers come.
All haile, the richeſt Beauties on the earth.
Beauties no richer then rich Taffata.
A holy parcell of the faireſt dames that euer turn'd their backes to mortall viewes.
Their eyes villaine, their eyes.
True, out indeed.
Once to behold, rogue.
They do not marke me, and that brings me out.
Is this your perfectneſſe? be gon you rogue.
What would you with the Princes?
Nothing but peace, and gentle viſitation.
What would they, ſay they?
Nothing but peace, and gentle viſitation.
Why that they haue, and bid them ſo be gon.
She ſaies you haue it, and you may be gon.
Tell her we meaſure them by weary ſteps.
She heares her ſelfe.
My face is but a Moone, and clouded too.
Will you not dance? How come you thus e
You tooke the Moone at full, but now ſhee's changed?
Yet ſtill ſhe is the Moone, and I the Man.
The muſick playes, vouchſafe ſome motion to it: Our eares vouchſafe it.
But your legges ſhould doe it.
Why take you hands then?
More meaſure of this meaſure, be not nice.
We can afford no more at ſuch a price.
Priſe your ſelues: What buyes your companie?
Your abſence onelie.
That can neuer be.
If you denie to dance, let's hold more chat.
In priuate then.
I am beſt pleas'd with that.
White handed Miſtris, one ſweet word with thee.
Hony, and Milke, and Suger: there is three.
One word in ſecret.
Let it not be ſweet.
Thou greeu'ſt my gall.
Gall, bitter.
Therefore meete.
Will you vouchſafe with me to change a word?
Name it.
Faire Ladie.
What, was your vizard made without a tong?
I know the reaſon Ladie why you aske.
O for your reaſon, quickly ſir, I long.
Veale quoth the Dutch-man: is not Veale a Calfe?
A Calfe faire Ladie?
No, a faire Lord Calfe.
Let's part the word.
Then die a Calfe before your horns do grow.
One word in priuate with you ere I die.
Bleat ſoftly then, the Butcher heares you cry.
Not one word more my maides, breake off, breake off.
By heauen, all drie beaten with pure ſcoffe.
Farewell madde Wenches, you haue ſimple wits.
Tapers they are, with your ſweete breathes puft out.
Wel-liking wits they haue, groſſe, groſſe, fat, fat.
Berowne did ſweare himſelfe out of all ſuite.
Qualme perhaps.
Yes in good faith.
Go ſickneſſe as thou art.
And quicke Berowne hath plighted faith to me.
And Longauill was for my ſeruice borne.
Dumaine is mine as ſure as barke on tree.
Will they returne?
How blovv? how blovv? Speake to bee vnder
Ladies, withdraw: the gallants are at hand.
Whip to our Tents, as Roes runnes ore Land.
Faire ſir, God ſaue you. Wher's the Princeſſe?
That ſhe vouchſafe me audience for one word.
I will, and ſo will ſhe, I know my Lord.
All haile ſweet Madame, and faire time of day.
Faire in all Haile is foule, as I conceiue.
Conſtrue my ſpeeches better, if you may.
Then wiſh me better, I wil giue you leaue.
How Madam? Ruſsians?
This proues you wiſe and rich: for in my eie
I am a foole, and full of pouertie.
O, I am yours and all that I poſſeſſe.
All the foole mine.
I cannot giue you leſſe.
Which of the Vizards what it that you wore?
Let vs confeſſe, and turne it to a ieſt.
Amaz'd my Lord? Why lookes your Highnes ſadde?
Sans, ſans, I pray you.
No, they are free that gaue theſe tokens to vs.
Our ſtates are forfeit, ſeeke not to vndo vs.
Peace, for I will not haue to do with you.
Nor ſhall not, if I do as I intend.
Speake for your ſelues, my wit is at an end.
Teach vs ſweete Madame, for our rude tranſ
Madam, I was.
And were you well aduis'd?
I was faire Madam.
That more then all the world I did reſpect her
When ſhee ſhall challenge this, you will reiect her.
Vpon mine Honor no.
Peace, peace, forbeare: your oath once broke, you force not to forſweare.
Deſpiſe me when I breake this oath of mine.
God giue thee ioy of him: the Noble Lord Moſt honorably doth vphold his word.
By heauen you did; and to confirme it plaine, you gaue me this: But take it ſir againe.
Full merrily hath this braue manager, this car
What, are there but three?
And three times thrice is nine.
Not ſo ſir, vnder correction ſir, I hope it is not ſo. You cannot beg vs ſir, I can aſſure you ſir, we know what we know: I hope ſir three times thrice ſir.
Is not nine.
Vnder correction ſir, wee know where-vntill it doth amount.
By Ioue, I alwaies tooke three threes for nine.
O Lord ſir, it were pittie you ſhould get your liuing by reckning ſir.
How much is it?
O Lord ſir, the parties themſelues, the actors ſir will ſhew where-vntill it doth amount: for mine owne part, I am (as they ſay, but to perfect one man in one poore man) Pompion the great ſir.
Art thou one of the Worthies?
It pleaſed them to thinke me worthie of Pompey the great: for mine owne part, I know not the degree of the Worthie, but I am to ſtand for him.
Go, bid them prepare.
We will turne it finely off ſir, we wil take ſome care.
We are ſhame-proofe my Lord: and 'tis ſome policie, to haue one ſhew worſe then the Kings and his companie.
I ſay they ſhall not come.
A right deſcription of our ſport my Lord.
Annointed, I implore ſo much expence of thy royall ſweet breath, as will vtter a brace of words.
Doth this man ſerue God?
Why aske you?
He ſpeak's not like a man of God's making.
That's all one my faire ſweet honie Monarch: For I proteſt, the Schoolmaſter is exceeding fantaſticall: Too too vain, too too vaine. But we wil put it (as they ſay) to Fortuna delaguar, I wiſh you the peace of minde moſt royall cupplement.
Here is like to be a good preſence of Worthies; He preſents Hector of Troy, the Swaine Pompey ye great, the Pariſh Curate Alexander, Armadoes Page Hercules, the Pedant Iudas Machabeus: And if theſe foure Wor
There is fiue in the firſt ſhew.
You are deceiued, tis not ſo.
The ſhip is vnder ſaile, and here ſhe coms amain.
I Pompey am.
You lie, you are not he.
I Pompey am.
With Libbards head on knee.
I Pompey am, Pompey ſurnam'd the big.
The great.
Great thankes great Pompey.
Tis not ſo much worth: but I hope I was per
My hat to a halfe-penie, Pompey prooues the beſt Worthie.
Your noſe ſmels no, in this moſt tender ſmel
When in the world I liued, I was the worldes Commander.
Moſt true, 'tis right: you were ſo Aliſander.
Pompey the great.
your ſeruant and Coſtard.
Take away the Conqueror, take away Aliſander
O ſir, you haue ouerthrowne Aliſander the conAliſander. There an't ſhall pleaſe you: a fooAliſander, alas you ſee, how 'tis a little ore-parted. But there are Worthies a comming, will ſpeake their minde in ſome other ſort.
Stand aſide good Pompey.
Iudas I am.
A Iudas?
Iudas Machabeus clipt, is plaine Iudas.
A kiſsing traitor. How art thou prou'd Iudas?
Iudas I am.
The more ſhame for you Iudas.
What meane you ſir?
To make Iudas hang himſelfe.
Begin ſir, you are my elder.
Well follow'd, Iudas was hang'd on an Elder.
I will not be put out of countenance.
Becauſe thou haſt no face.
What is this?
A Citterne head.
The head of a bodkin.
A deaths face in a ring.
The face of an old Roman coine, ſcarce ſeene.
The pummell of Caeſars Faulchion.
The caru'd-bone face on a Flaske.
S. Georges halfe cheeke in a brooch.
I, and in a brooch of Lead.
You haue put me out of countenance.
Falſe, we haue giuen thee faces.
But you haue out-fac'd them all.
And thou wer't a Lion, we would do ſo.
For the latter end of his name.
For the Aſſe to the Iude: giue it him. Iud-as a
This is not generous, not gentle, not humble.
A light for monſieur Iudas, it growes darke, he may ſtumble.
Alas poore Machabeus, how hath hee beene baited.
Hide thy head Achilles, heere comes Hector in Armes.
Though my mockes come home by me, I will now be merrie.
Hector was but a Troyan in reſpect of this.
But is this Hector?
I thinke Hector was not ſo
His legge is too big for Hector.
More Calfe certaine.
No, he is beſt indued in the ſmall.
This cannot be Hector.
He's a God or a Painter, for he makes faces.
The Armipotent Mars, of Launces the almighty, gaue Hector a gift.
A gilt Nutmegge.
A Lemmon.
Stucke with Cloues.
No clouen.
That Mint.
That Cullambine.
Sweet Lord Longauill reine thy tongue.
I muſt rather giue it the reine: for it runnes aHector.
I, and Hector's a Grey-hound.
Speake braue Hector, we are much delighted.
I do adore thy ſweet Graces ſlipper.
Loues her by the foot.
He may not by the yard.
This Hector farre ſurmounted Hanniball.
Fellow Hector, ſhe is gone; ſhe is two moneths on her way.
What meaneſt thou?
Faith vnleſſe you play the honeſt Troyan, the poore Wench is caſt away: ſhe's quick, the child brags in her belly alreadie: tis yours.
Doſt thou infamonize me among Potentates? Thou ſhalt die.
Then ſhall Hector be whipt for Iaquenetta that is quicke by him, and hang'd for Pompey, that is dead by him.
Moſt rare Pompey.
Renowned Pompey.
Greater then great, great, great, great Pompey: Pompey the huge.
Hector trembles.
Pompey is moued, more Atees more Atees ſtirre them, or ſtirre them on.
Hector will challenge him.
I, if a' haue no more mans blood in's belly, then will ſup a Flea.
By the North-pole I do challenge thee.
I wil not fight with a pole like a Northern man; Ile flaſh, Ile do it by the ſword: I pray you let mee bor
Roome for the incenſed Worthies.
Ile do it in my ſhirt.
Moſt reſolute Pompey.
Gentlemen and Souldiers pardon me, I will not combat in my ſhirt.
You may not denie it, Pompey hath made the challenge.
Sweet bloods, I both may, and will.
What reaſon haue you for't?
True, and it was inioyned him in Rome for want of Linnen: ſince when, Ile be ſworne he wore none, but a diſhclout of Iaquenettas, and that hee weares next his heart for a fauour.
God ſaue you Madame.
Welcome Marcade, but that thou interrupteſt our merriment.
I am ſorrie Madam, for the newes I bring is heauie in my tongue. The King your father
Dead for my life.
Euen ſo: My tale is told.
Worthies away, the Scene begins to cloud.
For mine owne part, I breath free breath: I haue ſeene the day of wrong, through the little hole of diſcretion, and I will right my ſelfe like a Souldier.
How fare's your Maieſtie?
Boyet prepare, I will away to night.
Madame not ſo, I do beſeech you ſtay.
I vnderſtand you not, my greefes are double.
Our letters Madam, ſhew'd much more then ieſt.
So did our lookes.
We did not coat them ſo.
And what to me my Loue? and what to me?
But what to me my loue? but what to me?
O ſhall I ſay, I thanke you gentle wife?
Ile ſerue thee true and faithfully till then.
Yet ſweare not, leaſt ye be forſworne agen
What ſaies Maria?
Ile ſtay with patience: but the time is long.
The liker you, few taller are ſo yong.
I ſweet my Lord, and ſo I take my leaue.
No Madam, we will bring you on your way.
That's too long for a play.
Sweet Maieſty vouchſafe me.
Was not that Hector?
The worthie Knight of Troy.
I wil kiſſe thy royal finger, and take leaue. I am a Votarie, I haue vow'd to Iaquenetta to holde the Plough for her ſweet loue three yeares. But moſt eſtee
Call them forth quickely, we will do ſo.
Holla, Approach.
Happy be Theſeus, our renowned Duke.
Thanks good Egeus: what's the news with thee?
So is Lyſander.
I would my father look'd but with my eyes.
Rather your eies muſt with his iudgment looke.
With dutie and deſire we follow you.
O croſſe! too high to be enthral'd to loue.
Or elſe miſgraffed, in reſpect of yeares.
O ſpight! too old to be ingag'd to yong.
Or elſe it ſtood vpon the choiſe of merit.
O hell! to chooſe loue by anothers eie.
Keepe promiſe loue: looke here comes Helena.
God ſpeede faire Helena, whither away?
O teach me how you looke, and with what art you ſway the motion of Demetrius hart.
I frowne vpon him, yet he loues me ſtill.
O that your frownes would teach my ſmiles ſuch skil.
I giue him curſes, yet he giues me loue.
O that my prayers could ſuch affection mooue.
The more I hate, the more he followes me.
The more I loue, the more he hateth me.
His folly Helena is none of mine.
None but your beauty, wold that fault wer mine
Is all our company heere?
You were beſt to call them generally, man by man, according to the ſcrip.
Here is the ſcrowle of euery mans name, which is thought fit through all Athens, to play in our Enter
Firſt, good Peter Quince, ſay what the play treats on: then read the names of the Actors: and ſo grow on to a point.
Marry our play is the moſt lamentable ComePyramus and Thisbie.
A very good peece of worke I aſſure you, and a merry. Now good Peter Quince, call forth your Actors by the ſcrowle. Maſters ſpread your ſelues.
Anſwere as I call you. Nick Bottome the Weauer.
Ready; name what part I am for, and proceed.
You Nicke Bottome are ſet downe for Pyramus.
What is Pyramus, a louer, or a tyrant?
A Louer that kills himſelfe moſt gallantly for loue.
That will aske ſome teares in the true perforErcles rarely, or a part to teare a Cat in, to make all ſplit the raging Rocks; and ſhiuering ſhocks ſhall break the locks of priſon gates, and Phibbus carre ſhall ſhine from farre, and make and marre the fooliſh Fates. This was lofty. Now name the reſt of the Players. This is Ercles vaine, a tyrants vaine: a louer is more condo
Francis Flute the Bellowes-mender:
Heere Peter Quince.
You muſt take Thisbie on you.
What is Thisbie, a wandring Knight?
It is the Lady that Pyramus muſt loue.
Nay faith, let not mee play a woman, I haue a beard comming.
That's all one, you ſhall play it in a Maske, and you may ſpeake as ſmall as you will.
And I may hide my face, let me play Thisbie too: Ile ſpeake in a monſtrous little voyce; Thiſne, Thiſne, ah Pyramus my louer deare, thy Thisbie deare, and Lady deare.
No no, you muſt play Pyramus, and Flute, you Thuby.
Well, proceed.
Robin Starueling the Taylor.
Heere Peter Quince.
Robin Starueling, you muſt play Thisbies mother?
the Tinker.
Heere Peter Quince.
You, Pyramus father; my ſelf, Thisbies father; Snugge the Ioyner, you the Lyons part: and I hope there is a play fitted.
Haue you the Lions part written? pray you if be, giue it me, for I am ſlow of ſtudie.
You may doe it extemporie, for it is nothing but roaring.
Let mee play the Lyon too, I will roare that I will doe any mans heart good to heare me. I will roare, that I will make the Duke ſay, Let him roare againe, let him roare againe.
If you ſhould doe it too terribly, you would fright the Dutcheſſe and the Ladies, that they would ſhrike, and that were enough to hang vs all.
That would hang vs euery mothers ſonne.
I graunt you friends, if that you ſhould fright the Ladies out of their Wittes, they would haue no more diſcretion but to hang vs: but I will ag
You can play no part but Piramus, for Piramus
Well, I will vndertake it. What beard were I beſt to play it in?
Why, what you will.
I will diſcharge it, in either your ſtraw-colour beard, your orange tawnie beard, your purple in graine beard, or your French-crowne colour'd beard, your per
Some of your French Crownes haue no haire at all, and then you will play bare-fac'd. But maſters here are your parts, and I am to intreat you, requeſt you, and deſire you, to con them by too morrow night: and meet me in the palace wood, a mile without the Towne, by Moone-light, there we will rehearſe: for if we meete in the Citie, we ſhalbe dog'd with company, and our deui
We will meete, and there we may rehearſe more obſcenely and couragiouſly. Take paines, be per
At the Dukes oake we meete.
Enough, hold or cut bow-ſtrings.
How now ſpirit, whether wander you?
Tarrie raſh Wanton; am not I thy Lord?
How long within this wood intend you ſtay?
Giue me that boy, and I will goe with thee.
I remember.
Ile put a girdle about the earth, in forty mi
And I am ſicke when I looke not on you.
I, there it is.
Feare not my Lord, your ſeruant ſhall do ſo.
With halfe that wiſh, the wiſhers eyes be preſt.
Stay, though thou kill me, ſweete Demetrius.
I charge thee hence, and do not haunt me thus.
O wilt thou darkling leaue me? do not ſo.
Stay on thy perill, I alone will goe.
Are we all met?
Pat, pat, and here's a maruailous conuenient place for our rehearſall. This greene plot ſhall be our ſtage, this hauthorne brake our tyring houſe, and we will do it in action, as we will do it before the Duke.
Peter quince?
What ſaiſt thou, bully Bottome?
There are things in this Comedy of Piramus and Thisby, that will neuer pleaſe. Firſt, Piraemus muſt draw a ſword to kill himſelfe; which the Ladies cannot abide. How anſwere you that?
Berlaken, a parlous feare.
I beleeue we muſt leaue the killing out, when all is done.
Not a whit, I haue a deuice to make all well. Write me a Prologue, and ſet the Prologue ſeeme to ſay, we will do no harme with our ſwords, and that Pyramus is not kill'd indeede: and for the more better aſſurance, tell them, that I Piramus am not Piramus, but Bottome the Weauer; this will put them out of feare.
Well, we will haue ſuch a Prologue, and it ſhall be written in eight and ſixe.
No, make it two more, let it be written in eight and eight.
Will not the Ladies be afear'd of the Lyon?
I feare it, I promiſe you.
Maſters, you ought to conſider with your ſelues, to bring in (God ſhield vs) a Lyon among Ladies, is a moſt dreadfull thing. For there is not a more fearefull wilde foule then your Lyon liuing: and wee ought to looke to it.
Therefore another Prologue muſt tell he is not a Lyon.
Nay, you muſt name his name, and halfe his face muſt be ſeene through the Lyons necke; and he himſelfe muſt ſpeake through, ſaying thus, or to the ſame defect; Ladies, or faire Ladies, I would wiſh you, or I would
Snug the ioyner.
Well, it ſhall be ſo; but there is two hard things, that is, to bring the Moone-light into a chamPiramus and Thisby meete by Moone-light.
Doth the Moone ſhine that night wee play our play?
A Calender, a Calender, looke in the Almanack, finde out Moone-ſhine, finde out Moone-ſhine.
Yes, it doth ſhine that night.
Why then may you leaue a caſement of the great chamber window (where we play) open, and the Moone may ſhine in at the caſement.
I, or elſe one muſt come in with a buſh of thorns and a lanthorne, and ſay he comes to disfigure, or to prePiramus and
You can neuer bring in a wall. What ſay you Bottome?
Some man or other muſt preſent wall, and let him haue ſome Plaſter, or ſome Lome, or ſome rough caſt about him, to ſignifie wall; or let him hold his finPiramus and Thisby whiſper.
If that may be, then all is well. Come, ſit downe euery mothers ſonne, and rehearſe your parts. Piramus, you begin; when you haue ſpoken your ſpeech, enter into that Brake, and ſo euery one according to his cue.
Speake Piramus: Thisby ſtand forth.
Thisby, the flowers of odious fauors ſweete.
Odours, odours.
A ſtranger Piramus, then ere plaid here.
Muſt I ſpeake now?
I marry muſt you. For you muſt vnderſtand he goes but to ſee a noyſe that he heard, and is to come a
Ninus toombe man: why, you muſt not ſpeake that yet; that you anſwere to Piramus: you ſpeake all your part at once, cues and all. Piramus enter, your cue is paſt; it is neuer tyre.
O, as true as trueſt horſe, that yet would neuer tyre:
If I were faire, Thisby I were onely thine.
O monſtrous. O ſtrange. We are hanted; pray maſters, flye maſters, helpe.
Why do they run away? This is a knauery of them to make me afeard.
O Bottom, thou art chang'd; What doe I ſee on thee?
What do you ſee? You ſee an Aſſe-head of your owne, do you?
Bleſſe thee Bottome, bleſſe thee; thou art tranſla
I ſee their knauery; this is to make an aſſe of me, to fright me if they could; but I will not ſtirre from this place, do what they can. I will walke vp and downe here, and I will ſing that they ſhall heare I am not a
What Angell wakes me from my flowry bed?
Me-thinkes miſtreſſe, you ſhould haue little reaſon for that: and yet to ſay the truth, reaſon and loue keepe little company together, now-adayes. The more the pittie, that ſome honeſt neighbours will not make them friends. Nay, I can gleeke vpon occa
Thou art as wiſe, as thou art beautifull.
Not ſo neither: but if I had wit enough to get out of this wood, I haue enough to ſerue mine owne turne.
Ready; and I, and I, and I, Where ſhall we go?
Haile mortall, haile.
Haile.
Haile.
I cry your worſhips mercy hartily; I beſeech your worſhips name.
Cobweb.
I ſhall deſire you of more acquaintance, good Maſter Cobweb: if I cut my finger, I ſhall make bold with you.
Your name honeſt Gentleman?
Peaſe bloſſome.
I pray you commend mee to miſtreſſe Squaſh, your mother, and to maſter Peaſcod your father. Good maſter Peaſe-bloſſome, I ſhal deſire of you more acquain
Muſtard-ſeede.
Peaſe-bloſſome.
Good maſter Muſtard-ſeede, I know your patiMuſtard-ſeede.
Stand cloſe, this is the ſame Athenian.
This is the woman, but not this the man.
I'de rather giue his carkaſſe to my hounds.
I pray thee tell me then that he is well.
And if I could, what ſhould I get therefore?
I had no iudgement, when to her I ſwore.
Nor none in my minde, now you giue her ore.
Demetrius loues her, and he loues not you.
Neuer did mockers waſt more idle breth.
It is not ſo.
Why ſhould hee ſtay whom Loue doth preſſe to go?
What loue could preſſe Lyſander from my ſide?
You ſpeake not as you thinke; it cannot be.
I vnderſtand not what you meane by this.
O excellent!
Sweete, do not ſcorne her ſo.
If ſhe cannot entreate, I can compell.
I ſay, I loue thee more then he can do.
If thou ſay ſo, with-draw and proue it too.
Quick, come.
Lyſander, whereto tends all this?
Away, you Ethiope.
Do you not ieſt?
Yes ſooth, and ſo do you.
Demetrius: I will keepe my word with thee.
Lower? harke againe.
Why get you gone: who iſt that hinders you?
A fooliſh heart, that I leaue here behinde.
What, with Lyſander?
With Demetrius.
Be not afraid, ſhe ſhall not harme thee Helena.
No ſir, ſhe ſhall not, though you take her part.
Follow? Nay, Ile goe with thee cheeke by iowle.
Vp and downe, vp and downe, I will leade them vp and downe: I am ſear'd in field and towne. Goblin, lead them vp and downe: here comes one.
Here villaine, drawne & readie. Where art thou?
I will be with thee ſtraight.
Follow me then to plainer ground.
Yea, art thou there?
Follow my voice, we'l try no manhood here.
Ho, ho, ho; coward, why com'ſt thou not?
Come hither, I am here.
Where's Peaſe bloſſome?
Ready.
Scratch my head, Peaſe-bloſſome. Wher's MounCobweb.
Ready.
Mounſieur Cobweb, good Mounſier get your weapons in your hand, & kill me a red hipt humble-Bee, on the top of a thiſtle; and good Mounſieur bring mee the hony bag. Doe not fret your ſelfe too much in the action, Mounſieur; and good Mounſieur haue a care the hony bag breake not, I would be loth to haue you ouerMuſtardſeed?
Ready.
What's your will?
Nothing good Mounſieur, but to help Caualery Cobweb to ſcratch. I muſt to the Barbers Mounſieur, for me-thinkes I am maruellous hairy about the face. And I am ſuch a tender aſſe, if my haire do but tickle me, I muſt ſcratch.
What, wilt thou heare ſome muſicke, my ſweet loue.
I haue a reaſonable good eare in muſicke. Let vs haue the tongs and the bones.
Or ſay ſweete Loue, what thou deſireſt to eat.
Truly a pecke of Prouender; I could munch your good dry Oates. Me-thinkes I haue a great deſire to a bottle of hay: good hay, ſweete hay hath no fel
I had rather haue a handfull or two of dried peaſe. But I pray you let none of your people ſtirre me, I haue an expoſition of ſleepe come vpon me.
Be thou as thou waſt wont to be; See as thou waſt wont to ſee. Dians bud, or Cupids flower, Hath ſuch force and bleſſed power.
There lies your loue.
Muſicke, he muſicke, ſuch as charmeth ſleepe.
When thou wak'ſt, with thine owne fooles eies peepe.
It is, my Lord.
Goe bid the huntſ-men wake them with their hornes.
Pardon my Lord.
Yea, and my Father.
And Hippolitae.
And he bid vs follow to the Temple.
Why then we are awake; lets follow him, and by the way let vs recount our dreames.
When my cue comes, call me, and I will anſwer. My next is, moſt faire Piramus. Hey ho. Peter Quince? Flute the bellowes-mender? Snout the tinker? Starueling? Gods my life! Stolne hence, and left me aſleepe: I haue had a moſt rare viſion. I had a dreame, paſt the wit of man, to ſay, what dreame it was. Man is but an Aſſe, if he goe about to expound this dreame. Me-thought I was, there is no man can tell what. Me-thought I was, and me-thought I had. But man is but a patch'd foole, if he will offer to ſay, what me-thought I had. The eye of man hath not heard, the eare of man hath not ſeen, mans hand is not able to taſte, his tongue to conceiue, nor his heart to report, what my dreame was. I will get
Haue you ſent to Bottomes houſe? Is he come home yet?
He cannot be heard of. Out of doubt hee i
If he come not, then the play is mar'd. It goes not forward, doth it?
It is not poſſible: you haue not a man in all Athens, able to diſcharge Piramus but he.
No, hee hath ſimply the beſt wit of any handyAthens.
Yea, and the beſt perſon too, and hee is a very Paramour, for a ſweet voyce.
You muſt ſay, Paragon. A Paramour is (God bleſſe vs) a thing of nought.
Maſters, the Duke is comming from the Tem
O ſweet bully Bottome: thus hath he loſt ſixePiramus, Ile be hang'd. He would haue deſerued it. Sixpence a day in Piramus, or nothing.
Where are theſe Lads? Where are theſe hearts?
Bottome, ô moſt couragious day! O moſt hap
Maſters, I am to diſcourſe wonders; but ask me not what. For if I tell you, I am no true Athenian. I will tell you euery thing as it fell out.
Let vs heare, ſweet Bottome.
Not a word of me: all that I will tell you, is, that the Duke hath dined. Get your apparell together, good ſtrings to your beards, new ribbands to your pumps, meete preſently at the Palace, euery man looke ore his part: for the ſhort and the long is, our play is preferred: In any caſe let Thisby haue cleane linnen: and let not him that playes the Lion, paire his nailes, for they ſhall hang out for the Lions clawes. And moſt deare Actors, eate no Onions, nor Garlicke; for wee are to vtter ſweete breath, and I doe not doubt but to heare them ſay, it is a ſweet Comedy. No more words: away, go away.
'Tis ſtrange my Theſeus, yt theſe louers ſpeake of.
More then to vs, waite in your royall walkes, your boord, your bed.
Heere mighty Theſeus.
The thrice three Muſes, mourning for the death of learning, late deceaſt in beggerie.
Merry and tragicall? Tedious, and briefe? That is, hot ice, and wondrous ſtrange ſnow. How ſhall wee finde the concord of this diſcord?
What are they that do play it?
And we will heare it.
Why gentle ſweet, you ſhall ſee no ſuch thing.
He ſaies, they can doe nothing in this kinde.
So pleaſe your Grace, the Prologue is addreſt.
Let him approach.
This fellow doth not ſtand vpon points.
He hath rid his Prologue, like a rough Colt: he knowes not the ſtop. A good morall my Lord. It is not enough to ſpeake, but to ſpeake true.
Indeed hee hath plaid on his Prologue, like a childe on a Recorder, a ſound, but not in gouernment.
His ſpeech was like a tangled chaine: nothing impaired, but all diſordered. Who is next?
I wonder if the Lion be to ſpeake.
No wonder, my Lord: one Lion may, when many Aſſes doe.
Would you deſire Lime and Haire to ſpeake better?
It is the vvittieſt partition, that euer I heard diſcourſe, my Lord.
Pyramus drawes neere the Wall, ſilence.
The vvall me-thinkes being ſenſible, ſhould curſe againe.
My Loue thou art, my Loue I thinke.
And like Helen till the Fates me kill.
Not Shafalus to Procrus, was ſo true.
As Shafalus to Procrus, I to you.
O kiſſe me through the hole of this vile wall.
I kiſſe the wals hole, not your lips at all.
Wilt thou at Ninnies tombe meete me ſtraight way?
Tide life, tide death, I come without delay.
Now is the morall downe betweene the two Neighbors.
No remedie my Lord, when Wals are ſo wil
This is the ſillieſt ſtuffe that ere I heard.
The beſt in this kind are but ſhadowes, and the worſt are no worſe, if imagination amend them.
It muſt be your imagination then, & not theirs.
If wee imagine no worſe of them then they of themſelues, they may paſſe for excellent men. Here com two noble beaſts, in a man and a Lion.
A verie gentle beaſt, and of a good conſcience.
The verie beſt at a beaſt, my Lord, yt ere I ſaw.
This Lion is a verie Fox for his valor.
True, and a Gooſe for his diſcretion.
Not ſo my Lord: for his valor cannot carrie his diſcretion, and the Fox carries the Gooſe.
His diſcretion I am ſure cannot carrie his valor: for the Gooſe carries not the Fox. It is well; leaue it to his diſcretion, and let vs hearken to the Moone.
This Lanthorne doth the horned Moone pre
He ſhould haue worne the hornes on his head.
Hee is no creſcent, and his hornes are inuiſible, within the circumference.
This lanthorne doth the horned Moone pre
This is the greateſt error of all the reſt; the man ſhould be put into the Lanthorne. How is it els the man i' th Moone?
I am vvearie of this Moone; vvould he would change.
It appeares by his ſmal light of diſcretion, that he is in the wane: but yet in courteſie, in all reaſon, vve muſt ſtay the time.
Proceed Moone.
All that I haue to ſay, is to tell you, that the Lanthorne is the Moone; I, the man in the Moone; this thorne buſh, my thorne buſh; and this dog, my dog.
Why all theſe ſhould be in the Lanthorne: for they are in the Moone. But ſilence, heere comes Thisby.
This is old Ninnies tombe: where is my loue?
Oh.
Well roar'd Lion.
Well run Thisby.
Wel mouz'd Lion.
And then came Piramus.
And ſo the Lion vaniſht.
Beſhrew my heart, but I pittie the man.
No Die, but an ace for him; for he is but one.
Leſſe then an ace man. For he is dead, he is no
With the helpe of a Surgeon, he might yet reco
Me thinkes ſhee ſhould not vſe a long one for ſuch a Piramus: I hope ſhe will be breefe.
A Moth wil turne the ballance, which Piramus which Thisby is the better.
She hath ſpyed him already, with thoſe ſweete eyes.
And thus ſhe meanes, videlicit.
Moon-ſhine & Lion are left to burie the dead.
I, and Wall too.
No, I aſſure you, the wall is downe, that parted their Fathers. Will it pleaſe you to ſee the Epilogue, or to heare a Bergomask dance, betweene two of our com
No Epilogue, I pray you; for your play needs no excuſe. Neuer excuſe; for when the plaiers are all dead, there need none to be blamed. Marry, if hee that writ it had plaid Piramus, and hung himſelfe in Thisbies garter, it would haue beene a fine Tragedy: and ſo it is truely, and very notably diſcharg'd. But come, your Burgomaske; let your Epilogue alone.
Why then you are in loue.
Fie, fie.
Good morrow my good Lords.
Wee'll make our leyſures to attend on yours.
I will not faile you.
Far you well, Ile grow a talker for this geare.
It is that any thing now.
Gratiano ſpeakes an infinite deale of nothing, more then any man in all Venice, his reaſons are two graines of wheate hid in two buſhels of chaffe: you ſhall ſeeke all day ere you finde them, & when you haue them they are not worth the ſearch.
By my troth Nerriſſa, my little body is a wea
You would be ſweet Madam, if your miſeries were in the ſame abundance as your good fortunes are: and yet for ought I ſee, they are as ſicke that ſurfet with too much, as they that ſtarue with nothing; it is no ſmal happineſſe therefore to bee ſeated in the meane, ſuper
Good ſentences, and well pronounc'd.
They would be better if well followed.
If to doe were as eaſie as to know what were good to doe, Chappels had beene Churches, and poore mens cottages Princes Pallaees: it is a good Diuine that followes his owne inſtructions; I can eaſier teach twenNerriſſa, that I cannot chooſe one, nor refuſe none.
Your father was euer vertuous, and holy men at their death haue good inſpirations, therefore the lot
I pray thee ouer-name them, and as thou nameſt them, I will deſcribe them, and according to my deſcrip
Firſt there is the Neopolitane Prince.
I that's a colt indeede, for he doth nothing but talke of his horſe, and hee makes it a great appropria
Than is there the Countie Palentine.
He doth nothing but frowne (as who ſhould ſay, and you will not haue me, chooſe: he heares merrie tales and ſmiles not, I feare hee will proue the weeping Phyloſopher when he growes old, being ſo full of vn
How ſay you by the French Lord, Mounſier Le Boune?
God made him, and therefore let him paſſe for a man, in truth I know it is a ſinne to be a mocker, but he, why he hath a horſe better then the Neopolitans, a bet
What ſay you then to Fauconbridge, the yong Baron of England?
You know I ſay nothing to him, for hee vnderLatine, French, nor Italian, and you will come into the Court & ſweare that I haue a poore pennie-worth in the Engliſh: hee is a proper mans picture, but alas who can conuerſe with a dumbe ſhow? how odly he is ſuited, I thinke he bought his doublet in Italie, his round hoſe in France, his bonnet in Germanie, and his behauiour euery where.
What thinke you of the other Lord his neigh
That he hath a neighbourly charitie in him, for he borrowed a boxe of the eare of the Engliſhman, and ſwore he would pay him againe when hee was able: I thinke the Frenchman became his ſuretie, and ſeald vnder for another.
How like you the yong Germaine, the Duke of Saxonies Nephew?
Very vildely in the morning when hee is ſober, and moſt vildely in the afternoone when hee is drunke: when he is beſt, he is a little worſe then a man, and when he is worſt
If he ſhould offer to chooſe, and chooſe the right Casket, you ſhould refuſe to performe your Fathers will, if you ſhould refuſe to accept him.
Therefore for feare of the worſt, I pray thee ſet a deepe glaſſe of Reiniſh-wine on the contrary Casket, for if the diuell be within, and that temptation without, I know he will chooſe it. I will doe any thing Nerriſſa ere I will be married to a ſpunge.
You neede not feare Lady the hauing any of theſe Lords, they haue acquainted me with their deter
If I liue to be as olde as Sibilla, I will dye as chaſte as Diana: vnleſſe I be obtained by the manner of my Fathers will: I am glad this parcell of wooers are ſo reaſonable, for there is not one among them but I doate on his verie abſence: and I wiſh them a faire de
Doe you not remember Ladie in your FaVenecian, a Scholler and a Souldior that came hither in companie of the Marqueſſe of Mountferrat?
Yes, yes, it was Baſſanio, as I thinke, ſo was hee call'd.
True Madam, hee of all the men that euer my fooliſh eyes look'd vpon, was the beſt deſeruing a faire Lady.
I remember him well, and I remember him wor
The foure Strangers ſeeke you Madam to take their leaue: and there is a fore-runner come from a fift, the Prince of Moroco, who brings word the Prince his Maiſter will be here to night.
If I could bid the fift welcome with ſo good heart as I can bid the other foure farewell, I ſhould be glad of his approach: if he haue the condition of a Saint, and the complexion of a diuell, I had rather hee ſhould ſhriue me then wiue me. Come Nerriſſa, ſirra go before; whiles wee ſhut the gate vpon one wooer, another knocks at the doore.
Three thouſand ducates, well.
I ſir, for three months.
For three months, well.
Anthonio ſhall become bound, well.
Three thouſand ducats for three months, and Anthonio bound.
Your anſwere to that.
Anthonio is a good man.
Haue you heard any imputation to the con
Ho no, no, no, no: my meaning in ſaying he is a good man, is to haue you vnderſtand me that he is ſuffi
Be aſſured you may.
I will be aſſured I may: and that I may be aſſuAnthonio?
If it pleaſe you to dine with vs.
Yes, to ſmell porke, to eate of the habitation which your Prophet the Nazarite coniured the diuell into: I will buy with you, ſell with you, talke with you, walke with you, and ſo following: but I will not eate with you, drinke with you, nor pray with you. What newes on the Ryalta, who is he comes here?
This is ſignior Anthonio.
Shylock, doe you heare.
I, I, three thouſand ducats
And for three months.
I doe neuer vſe it.
And what of him, did he take interreſt?
Well Shylocke, ſhall we be beholding to you?
This were kindneſſe.
Yes Shylocke, I will ſeale vnto this bond.
Hie thee gentle Iew. This Hebrew will turne Chriſtian, he growes kinde.
I like not faire teames, and a villaines minde.
Nor will not, come bring me vnto my chance.
Certainely, my conſcience will ſerue me to run from this Iew my Maiſter: the fiend is at mine elbow, and tempts me, ſaying to me, Iobbe, Launcelet Iobbe, good Launcelet, ongood Iobbe, or good Launcelet Iobbe, vſe your legs, take the ſtart, run awaie: my conſcience ſaies no; take heede honeſt Launcelet, take heed honeſt Iobbe, or as afore-ſaid honeſt Launcelet Iobbe, doe not runne, ſcorne running with thy heeles; well, the moſt coragifia ſaies the fiend, away ſaies the fiend, for the heauens rouſe vp a braue minde ſaies the fiend, and run; well, my conſcience hanging about the necke of my heart, ſaies verie wiſely to me: my hoLauncelet, being an honeſt mans ſoone, or raLancelet bouge not, bouge ſaies the ſiend, bouge not ſaies my conſcience, conſcience ſay I you counſaile well, fiend ſay I you counſaile well, to be rul'd by my conſcience I ſhould ſtay with the Iew my Maiſter, (who God bleſſe the marke) is a kinde of diIew I ſhould be ruled by the fiend, who ſauing your reuerence is the diuell himIew is the verie diuell incarnation, and in my conſcience, my conſcience is a kinde of hard conſcience, to offer to counſaile me to ſtay with the Iew; the fiend giues the more friendly counſaile: I will runne fiend, my heeles are at your commandement, I will runne.
Maiſter yong-man, you I praie you, which is the waie to Maiſter Iewes?
O heauens, this is my true begotten Father, who being more then ſand-blinde, high grauel blinde, knows me not, I will trie confuſions with him.
Maiſter yong Gentleman, I praie you which is the waie to Maiſter Iewes.
Turne vpon your right hand at the next turIewes houſe.
Be Gods ſonties 'twill be a hard waie to hit, can you tell me whether one Launcelet that dwels with him, dwell with him or no.
Talke you of yong Maſter Launcelet, marke me now, now will I raiſe the waters; talke you of yong Maiſter Launcelet?
No Maiſter ſir, but a poore mans ſonne, his Fa
Well, let his Father be what a will, wee talke of yong Maiſter Launcelet.
Your worſhips friend and Launcelet.
But I praie you ergo old man, ergo I beſeech you, talke you of yong Maiſter Launcelet.
Of Launcelet, ant pleaſe your maiſterſhip.
Ergo Maiſter Lancelet, talke not of maiſter Lancelet Father, for the yong gentleman according to fates and deſtinies, and ſuch odde ſayings, the ſiſters three, & ſuch branches of learning, is indeede deceaſed, or as you would ſay in plaine tearmes, gone to heauen.
Marrie God forbid, the boy was the verie ſtaffe of my age, my verie prop.
Do I look like a cudgell or a houell-poſt, a ſtaffe or a prop: doe you know me Father.
Alacke the day, I know you not yong Gentle
Doe you not know me Father.
Alacke ſir I am ſand blinde, I know you not.
Nay, indeede if you had your eies you might faile of the knowing me: it is a wiſe Father that knowes his owne childe. Well, old man, I will tell you newes of your ſon, giue me your bleſſing, truth will come to light, murder cannot be hid long, a mans ſonne may, but in the end truth will out.
Praie you ſir ſtand vp, I am ſure you are not Lancelet my boy.
Praie you let's haue no more fooling about it, but giue mee your bleſſing: I am Lancelet your boy that was, your ſonne that is, your childe that ſhall be.
I cannot thinke you are my ſonne.
I know not what I ſhall thinke of that: but I am Lancelet the Iewes man, and I am ſure Margerie your wife is my mother.
Her name is Margerie indeede, Ile be ſworne if thou be Lancelet, thou art mine owne fleſh and blood: Lord worſhipt might he be, what a beard haſt thou got; thou haſt got more haire on thy chin, then Dobbin my philhorſe has on his taile.
It ſhould ſeeme then that Dobbins taile growes backeward. I am ſure he had more haire of his taile then I haue of my face when I loſt ſaw him.
Lord how art thou chang'd: how dooſt thou and thy Maſter agree, I haue brought him a preſent; how gree you now?
Well, well, but for mine owne part, as I haue ſet vp my reſt to run awaie, ſo I will not reſt till I haue run ſome ground; my Maiſter's a verie Iew, giue him a preBaſſanio, who indeede giues rare new Liuories, if I ſerue not him, I will run as far as God has anie ground. O rare, fortune, here comes the man, to him Father, for I am a Iew if I ſerue the Iew anie longer.
You may doe ſo, but let it be ſo haſted that ſupper be readie at the fartheſt by fiue of the clocke: ſee theſe Letters deliuered, put the Liueries to makGratiano to come anone to my lodg
To him Father.
God bleſſe your worſhip.
Gramercie, would'ſt thou ought with me.
Here's my ſonne ſir, a poore boy.
Not a poore boy ſir, but the rich Iewes man that would ſir as my Father ſhall ſpecifie.
He hath a great infection ſir, as one would ſay to ſerue.
Indeede the ſhort and the long is, I ſerue the Iew, and haue a deſire as my Father ſhall ſpecifie.
His Maiſter and he (ſauing your worſhips reue
To be briefe, the verie truth is, that the Iew hauing done me wrong, doth cauſe me as my Father be
I haue here a diſh of Doues that I would beſtow vpon your worſhip, and my ſuite is.
In verie briefe, the ſuite is impertinent to my ſelfe, as your worſhip ſhall know by this honeſt old man, and though I ſay it, though old man, yet poore man my Father.
One ſpeake for both, what would you?
Serue you ſir.
That is the verie defect of the matter ſir.
The old prouerbe is verie well parted betweene my Maiſter Shylocke and you ſir, you haue the grace of God ſir, and he hath enough.
Father in, I cannot get a ſeruice, no, I haue nere a tongue in my head, well: if anie man in Italie haue a fairer table which doth offer to ſweare vpon a booke, I ſhall haue good fortune; goe too, here's a ſimple line of life, here's a ſmall trifle of wiues, alas, fifteene wiues is nothing, a leuen widdowes and nine maides is a ſimIew in the twinkling.
My beſt endeuors ſhall be done herein.
Where's your Maiſter.
Yonder ſir he walkes.
Signior Baſſanio.
Gratiano.
I haue a ſute to you.
You haue obtain'd it.
You muſt not denie me, I muſt goe with you to Belmont.
Well, we ſhall ſee your bearing.
Adue, teares exhibit my tongue, moſt beautifull Pagan, moſt ſweete Iew, if a Chriſtian doe not play the knaue and get thee, I am much deceiued; but adue, theſe fooliſh drops doe ſomewhat drowne my manly ſpirit: adue.
We haue not made good preparation.
We haue not ſpoke vs yet of Torch-bearers.
And it ſhall pleaſe you to breake vp this, ſhall it ſeeme to ſignifie.
Loue newes in faith:
By your leaue ſir.
Whither goeſt thou?
Marry ſir to bid my old Maſter the Iew to ſup to night with my new Maſter the Chriſtian.
I marry, ile be gone about it ſtrait.
And ſo will I.
'Tis good we do ſo.
Was not that Letter from faire Ieſſica?
Why Ieſſica.
Who bids thee call? I do not bid thee call.
Call you? what is your will?
So doe I his.
And they haue conſpired together, I will not ſay you ſhall ſee a Maske, but if you doe, then it was not for nothing that my noſe fell a bleeding on blacke monday
What ſaies that foole of Hagars off-ſpring? ha.
His words were farewell miſtris, nothing elſe.
His houre is almoſt paſt.
Heere comes Lorenzo, more of this here
Lorenzo, and thy Loue.
Heauen and thy thoughts are witneſs that thou art.
Deſcend, for you muſt be my torch-bearer.
Now by my hood, a gentle, and no Iew.
Who's there?
Signior Anthonio?
All that gliſters is not gold, Often haue you heard that cold; Many a man his life hath ſold But my outſide to behold; Guilded timber doe wormes infold: Had you beene as wiſe as bold, Yong in limbs, in iudgement old, Your anſwere had not beene inſcrold, Fare you well, your ſuite is cold,
Doe we ſo.
Too long a pauſe for that which you finde there.
What is here?
The fier ſeauen times tried this, Seauen times tried that iudement is, That did neuer chooſe amis, Some there be that ſhadowes kiſſe, Such haue but a ſhadowes bliſſe: There be fooles aliue Iwis Siluer'd o're, and ſo was this: Take what wife you will to bed, I will euer be your head: So be gone, you are ſped.
Come draw the curtaine Nerriſſa.
Where is my Lady?
Here, what would my Lord?
Baſſanio Lord, loue if thy will it be.
Now, what newes on the Ryalto?
Why yet it liues there vncheckt, that Anthonio hath a ſhip of rich lading wrackt on the narrow Seas; the Goodwins I thinke they call the place, a very dangerous flat, and fatall, where the carcaſſes of many a tall ſhip, lye buried, as they ſay, if my goſſips report be an honeſt wo
I would ſhe were as lying a goſſip in that, as euer knapt Ginger, or made her neighbours beleeue ſhe wept for the death of a third husband: but it is true, without any ſlips of prolixity, or croſſing the plaine high-way of talke, that the good Anthonio, the honeſt Anthonio; ô that I had a title good enough to keepe his name company!
Come, the full ſtop.
Ha, what ſayeſt thou, why the end is, he hath loſt a ſhip.
I would it might proue the end of his loſſes.
Let me ſay Amen betimes, leaſt the diuell croſſe my praier, for here he comes in the iikenes of a Iew. How now Shylocke, what newes among the Merchants?
You knew none ſo well, none ſo well as you, of my daughters flight.
That's certaine, I for my part knew the Tailor that made the wings ſhe flew withall.
And Shylocke for his own part knew the bird was fledg'd, and then it is the complexion of them al to leaue the dam.
She is damn'd for it.
That's certaine, if the diuell may be her Iudge.
My owne fleſh and blood to rebell.
Out vpon it old carrion, rebels it at theſe yeeres.
I ſay my daughter is my fleſh and bloud.
There is more difference betweene thy fleſh and hers, then betweene Iet and Iuorie, more betweene your bloods, then there is betweene red wine and renniſh: but tell vs, doe you heare whether Anthonio haue had anie loſſe at ſea or no?
There I haue another bad match, a bankrout, a prodigall, who dare ſcarce ſhew his head on the Ryalto, a begger that was vſd to come ſo ſmug vpon the Mart: let him look to his bond, he was wont to call me Vſurer, let him looke to his bond, he was wont to lend money for a Chriſtian curtſie, let him looke to his bond.
Why I am ſure if he forfaite, thou wilt not take his fleſh, what's that good for?
To baite fiſh withall, if it will feede nothing elſe, it will feede my reuenge; he hath diſgrac'd me, and hindred me halfe a million, laught at my loſſes, mockt at my gaines, ſcorned my Nation, thwarted my bargaines, cooled my friends, heated mine enemies, and what's the reaſon? I am a Iewe: Hath not a Iew eyes? hath not a Iew hands, organs, dementions, ſences, affections, paſſiIew wrong a Chriſtian, what is his humility, reuenge? If a Chriſtian wrong a Iew, what ſhould his ſuf
Gentlemen, my maiſter Anthonio is at his houſe, and deſires to ſpeake with you both.
We haue beene vp and downe to ſeeke him.
Here comes another of the Tribe, a third cannot be matcht, vnleſſe the diuell himſelfe turne Iew.
How now Tuball, what newes from Genowa? haſt thou found my daughter?
I often came where I did heare ofſter, but can
Why there, there, there, there, a diamond gone coſt me two thouſand ducats in Franckford, the curſe ne
Yes, other men haue ill lucke too, Anthonio as I heard in Genowa?
What, what, what, ill lucke, ill lucke.
Hath an Argoſie caſt away comming from Tri
I thanke God, I thanke God, is it true, is it true?
I ſpoke with ſome of the Saylers that eſcaped the wracke.
I thanke thee good Tuball, good newes, good newes: ha, ha, here in Genowa.
Your daughter ſpent in Genowa, as I heard, one night foureſcore ducats.
Thou ſtick'ſt a dagger in me, I ſhall neuer ſee my gold againe, foureſcore ducats at aſitting, foureſcore du
There came diuers of Anthonios creditors in my company to Venice, that ſweare hee cannot chooſe but breake.
I am very glad of it, ile plague him, ile torture him, I am glad of it,
One of them ſhewed me a ring that hee had of your daughter for a Monkie.
Out vpon her, thou tortureſt me Tuball, it was my Turkies, I had it of Leah when I was a Batcheler: I would not haue giuen it for a wilderneſſe of Monkies.
But Anthonio is certainely vndone.
Nay, that's true, that's very true, goe Tuball, fee me an Officer, beſpeake him a fortnight before, I will haue the heart of him if he forfeit, for were he out of VeTuball, and meete me at our Sinagogue, goe good Tuball, at our Sinagogue Tuball.
Promiſe me life, and ile confeſſe the truth.
Well then, confeſſe and liue.
You that chooſe not by the view Chance as faire, and chooſe as true: Since this fortune fals to you, Be content, and ſeeke no new. If you be well pleaſd with this, And hold your fortune for your bliſſe, Turne you where your Lady is, And claime her with a louing kiſſe.
With all my heart, ſo thou canſt get a wife.
Is this true Nerriſſa?
Madam it is ſo, ſo you ſtand pleas'd withall.
And doe you Gratiano meane good faith?
Yes faith my Lord.
Our feaſt ſhall be much honored in your mar
Weele play with them the firſt boy for a thou
What and ſtake downe?
So do I my Lord, they are intirely welcome.
I would you had vvon the fleece that hee hath loſt.
Is it your deere friend that is thus in trouble?
What ſumme owes he the Iew?
For me three thouſand ducats.
SweetBaſſanio,my ſhips haue all miſcarried, my Creditors grow cruell, my eſtate is very low, my bond to the Iew is forfeit, and ſince in paying it, it is impoſſible I ſhould liue, all debts are cleerd betweene you and I, if I might ſee you at my death: notwithſtanding, vſe your pleaſure, if your loue doe not perſwade you to come, let not my letter.
O loue! diſpach all buſines and be gone.
Heare me yet good Shylok.
I pray thee heare me ſpeake.
I am ſure the Duke will neuer grant this forfeiture to hold.
Faire thoughts & happy houres attend on you.
I wiſh your Ladiſhip all hearts content.
Madam, I goe with all conuenient ſpeed.
Shall they ſee vs?
Why, ſhall wee turne to men?
Yes truly; for looke you, the ſinnes of the Fa
And what hope is that I pray thee?
Marrie you may partlie hope that your father got you not, that you are not the Iewes daughter.
That were a kinde of baſtard hope indeed, ſo the ſins of my mother ſhould be viſited vpon me.
Truly then I feare you are damned both by faScilla your father, I fall into Charibdis your mother; well, you are gone both waies.
I ſhall be ſau'd by my husband, he hath made me a Chriſtian.
Truly the more to blame he, we were Chriſti
Ile tell my husband Lancelet what you ſay, heere he comes.
I ſhall grow iealous of you ſhortly Lancelet, if you thus get my wife into corners?
Nay, you need not feare vs Lorenzo, Launcelet and I are out, he tells me flatly there is no mercy for mee in heauen, becauſe I am a Iewes daughter: and hee ſaies you are no good member of the common wealth, for in conuerting Iewes to Chriſtians, you raiſe the price of Porke.
I ſhall anſwere that better to the CommonLauncelet?
It is much that the Moore ſhould be more then reaſon: but if ſhe be leſſe then an honeſt woman, ſhee is indeed more then I tooke her for.
How euerie foole can play vpon the word, I thinke the beſt grace of witte will ſhortly turne into ſi
That is done ſir, they haue all ſtomacks?
Goodly Lord, what a witte-ſnapper are you, then bid them prepare dinner.
That is done to ſir, onely couer is the word.
Will you couer than ſir?
Not ſo ſir neither, I know my dutie.
Yet more quarrellng with occaſion, wilt thou ſhew the whole wealth of thy wit in an inſtant; I pray thee vnderſtand a plaine man in his plaine meaning: goe to thy fellowes, bid them couer the table, ſerue in the meat, and we will come in to dinner.
For the table ſir, it ſhall be ſeru'd in, for the meat ſir, it ſhall bee couered, for your comming in to dinner ſir, why let it be as humors and conceits ſhall go
Nay, but aske my opinion to of that?
I will anone, firſt let vs goe to dinner?
Nay, let me praiſe you while I haue a ſtomacke?
Well, Ile ſet you forth.
What, is Anthonio heere?
Ready, ſo pleaſe your grace?
Go one and cal the Iew into the Court.
He is ready at the doore, he comes my Lord.
I am not bound to pleaſe thee with my anſwer.
Do all men kil the things they do not loue?
Hates any man the thing he would not kill?
Euerie offence is not a hate at firſt.
What wouldſt thou haue a Serpent ſting thee twice?
For thy three thouſand Ducates heereis ſix.
How ſhalt thou hope for mercie, rendring none?
Bring vs the Letters, Call the Meſſengers.
Came you from Padua from Bellario?
Why doſt thou whet thy knife ſo earneſtly?
To cut the forfeiture from that bankrout there.
No, none that thou haſt wit enough to make.
YOur Grace ſhall vnderſtand, that at the receive of your Letter I am very ſicke: but in the inſtant that your meſſenger came, in louing viſitation, was with me a young Do ctor of Rome, his name is BalthaſI acquained him with the cauſe in Controuerſie, betweene the Iew andn: • Anthoniothe Merchant: We turn'd ore many Bookes together: hee is furniſhed with my opinion, which〈◊〉 ed with his owne lear • ning, the greatneſſe whereof I cannot enough command comes with him at my importunity, to fill vp your Graces requeſt in my ſted. I beſeech you, let his lacke of years be no impediment to let him lacke a reuerend eſtimation: for I neuer knewe ſo yong a body, with ſo old a head. I leaue him to your gracious acceptance, whoſe trial ſhall better publiſh his commendation.
I did my Lord.
Anthonio and old Shylocke, both ſtand forth.
Is your name Shylocke?
Shylocke is my name.
I, ſo he ſayes.
Do you confeſſe the bond?
I do.
Then muſt the Iew be mercifull.
On what compulſion muſt I? Tell me that.
Is he not able to diſcharge the money?
I pray you let me looke vpon the bond.
Heere 'tis moſt reuerend Doctor, heere it is.
Shylocke, there's thrice thy monie offered thee.
Why then thus it is: you muſt prepare your boſome for his knife.
O noble Iudge, O excellent yong man.
Therefore lay bare your boſome.
It is ſo: Are there ballance heere to weigh the fleſh?
I haue them ready.
It is not nominated in the bond?
I cannot finde it, 'tis not in the bond.
Come Merchant, haue you any thing to ſay?
Moſt rightfull Iudge.
Moſt learned Iudge, a ſentence, come prepare.
Is that the law?
O learned Iudge, mark Iew, a learned Iudge.
Heere is the money.
O Iew, an vpright Iudge, a learned Iudge.
Why doth the Iew pauſe, take thy forfeiture.
Giue me my principall, and let me goe.
I haue it ready for thee, heere it is.
Shall I not haue barely my principall?
I for the ſtate, not for Anthonio.
What mercy can you render him Anthonio?
A halter gratis, nothing elſe for Gods ſake.
Art thou contented Iew? what doſt thou ſay?
I am content.
Clarke, draw a deed of gift.
Get thee gone, but doe it.
Sir I intreat you with me home to dinner.
That will I doe.
Come good ſir, will you ſhew me to this houſe.
Who comes ſo faſt in ſilence of the night?
A friend.
A friend, what friend? your name I pray you friend?
Who comes with her?
Sola, ſola: wo ha ho, ſola, ſola.
Who calls?
Sola, did you ſee M. Lorenzo, & M. Lorenzo, ſola, ſola.
Leaue hollowing man, heere.
Sola, where, where?
Heere?
Tel him ther's a Poſt come from my Maſter, with his horne full of good newes, my Maſter will be here ere morning ſweet ſoule.
I am neuer merry when I heare ſweet muſique.
When the moone ſhone we did not ſee the can
It is your muſicke Madame of the houſe.
Silence beſtowes that vertue on it Madam.
Deere Lady welcome home?
No more then I am wel acquitted of.
A quarrel hoe alreadie, what's the matter?
He wil, and if he liue to be a man.
I, if a Woman liue to be a man.
Nor I in yours, til I againe ſee mine.
I am th' vnhappy ſubject of theſe quarrels.
Heere Lord Baſſanio, ſwear to keep this ring.
By heauen it is the ſame I gaue the Doctor.
I am dumbe.
Were you the Doctor, and I knew you not?
Were you the Clark that is to make me cuckold.
Adam, it was vpon this faſhion bequeathed me by will, but poore a thouſand Crownes, and as thou ſaift, charged my broIaques he keepes at ſchoole, and report ſpeakes goldenly of his profit: for my part, he keepes me ruſtically at home, or (to ſpeak more properly) ſtaies me heere at home vnkept: for call you that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that difAdam that grieues me, and the ſpirit of my Father, which I thinke is within mee, begins to mutinie againſt this ſeruitude. I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wiſe remedy how to auoid it.
Yonder comes my Maſter, your brother.
Goe a-part Adam, and thou ſhalt heare how he will ſhake me vp.
Now Sir, what make you heere?
Nothing: I am not taught to make any thing.
What mar you then ſir?
Marry ſir, I am helping you to mar that which God made, a poore vnworthy brother of yours with idleneſſe.
Marry ſir be better employed, and be naught a while.
Shall I keepe your hogs, and eat huskes with them? what prodigall portion haue I ſpent, that I ſhould come to ſuch penury?
Know you where you are ſir?
O ſir, very well: heere in your Orchard.
Know you before whom ſir?
I, better then him I am before knowes mee: I know you are my eldeſt brother, and in the gentle con
What Boy.
Come, come elder brother, you are too yong in this.
Wilt thou lay hands on me villaine?
I am no villaine: I am the yongeſt ſonne of Sir Rowland de Boys, he was my father, and he is thrice a vil
Sweet Maſters bee patient, for your Fathers remembrance, be at accord.
Let me goe I ſay.
I will not till I pleaſe: you ſhall heare mee: my father charg'd you in his will to giue me good educati
And what wilt thou do? beg when that is ſpent? Well ſir, get you in. I will not long be troubled with you: you ſhall haue ſome part of your will, I pray you leaue me.
I will no further offend you, then becomes mee for my good.
Get you with him, you olde dogge.
Is old dogge my reward: moſt true, I haue loſt my teeth in your ſeruice: God be with my olde maEx. Orl. Ad.
Is it euen ſo, begin you to grow vpon me? I will phyſicke your ranckeneſſe, and yet giue no thouſand crownes neyther: holla Dennis.
Calls your worſhip?
Was not Charles the Dukes Wraſtler heere to ſpeake with me?
So pleaſe you, he is heere at the doore, and im
Call him in: 'twill be a good way: and to mor
Good morrow to your worſhip.
Good Mounſier Charles: what's the new newes at the new Court?
There's no newes at the Court Sir, but the olde newes: that is, the old Duke is baniſhed by his yon
Can you tell if Roſalind the Dukes daughter bee baniſhed with her Father?
O no; for the Dukes daughter her Coſen ſo loues her, being euer from their Cradles bred together, that hee would haue followed her exile, or haue died to ſtay behind her; ſhe is at the Court, and no leſſe beloued of her Vncle, then his owne daughter, and neuer two La
Where will the old Duke liue?
They ſay hee is already in the Forreſt of Arden, and a many merry men with him; and there they liue like the old Robin Hood of England: they ſay many yong Gentlemen flocke to him euery day, and fleet the time careleſly as they did in the golden world.
What, you wraſtle to morrow before the new Duke.
Marry doe I ſir: and I came to acquaint you with a matter: I am giuen ſir ſecretly to vnderſtand, that your yonger brother Orlando hath a diſpoſition to come in diſguis'd againſt mee to try a fall: to morrow ſir I wraſtle for my credit, and hee that eſcapes me without ſome broken limbe, ſhall acquit him well: your brother is but young and tender, and for your loue I would bee loth to foyle him, as I muſt for my owne honour if hee come in: therefore out of my loue to you, I came hither to acquaint you withall, that either you might ſtay him from his intendment, or brooke ſuch diſgrace well as he ſhall runne into, in that it is a thing of his owne ſearch, and altogether againſt my will.
Charles, I thanke thee for thy loue to me, which thou ſhalt finde I will moſt kindly require: I had my ſelfe notice of my Brothers purpoſe heerein, and haue by vnder-hand meanes laboured to diſſwade him from it; but he is reſolute. Ile tell thee Charles, it is the ſtubbor
I am heartily glad I came hither to you: if hee come to morrow, Ile giue him his payment: if euer hee goe alone againe, Ile neuer wraſtle for prize more: and ſo God keepe your worſhip.
Farewell good Charles. Now will I ſtirre this Game
I pray thee Roſalind, ſweet my Coz, be merry.
Deere Cellia; I ſhow more mirth then I am mi
Heerein I ſee thou lou'ſt mee not with the full waight that I loue thee; if my Vncle thy baniſhed father had baniſhed thy Vncle the Duke my Father, ſo thou hadſt beene ſtill with mee, I could haue taught my loue to take thy father for mine; ſo wouldſt thou, if the truth of thy loue to me were ſo righteouſly temper'd, as mine is to thee.
Well, I will forget the condition of my eſtate, to reioyce in yours.
You know my Father hath no childe, but I, nor none is like to haue; and truely when he dies, thou ſhalt be his heire; for what hee hath taken away from thy faRoſe, my deare Roſe, be merry.
From henceforth I will Coz, and deuiſe ſports: let me ſee, what thinke you of falling in Loue?
Marry I prethee doe, to make ſport withall: but loue no man in good earneſt, nor no further in ſport ney
What ſhall be our ſport then?
Let vs ſit and mocke the good houſwife Fortune from her wheele, that her gifts may henceforth bee beſtowed equally.
I would wee could doe ſo: for her benefits are mightily miſplaced, and the bountifull blinde woman doth moſt miſtake in her gifts to women.
'Tis true, for thoſe that ſhe makes faire, ſhe ſcarce makes honeſt, & thoſe that ſhe makes honeſt, ſhe makes very ill fauouredly.
Nay now thou goeſt from Fortunes office to Na
No; when Nature hath made a faire creature, may ſhe not by Fortune fall into the fire? though nature hath giuen vs wit to flout at Fortune, hath not Fortune ſent in this foole to cut off the argument?
Indeed there is fortune too hard for nature, when fortune makes natures naturall, the cutter off of natures witte.
Peraduenture this is not Fortunes work neither, but Natures, who perceiueth our naturall wits too dull to reaſon of ſuch goddeſſes, hath ſent this Naturall for our whetſtone
Miſtreſſe, you muſt come away to your father.
Were you made the meſſenger?
No by mine honor, but I was bid to come for you
Where learned you that oath foole?
Of a certaine Knight, that ſwore by his Honour they were good Pan-cakes, and ſwore by his Honor the Muſtard was naught: Now Ile ſtand to it, the Pancakes were naught, and the Muſtard was good, and yet was not the Knight forſworne.
How proue you that in the great heape of your knowledge?
I marry, now vnmuzzle your wiſedome.
Stand you both forth now: ſtroke your chinnes, and ſweare by your beards that I am a knaue.
By our beards (if we had them) thou art.
By my knauerie (if I had it) then I were: but if you ſweare by that that is not, you are not forſworn: no more was this knight ſwearing by his Honor, for he ne
Prethee, who is't that thou means't?
One that old Fredericke your Father loues.
My Fathers loue is enough to honor him enough; ſpeake no more of him, you'l be whipt for taxation one of theſe daies.
The more pittie that fooles may not ſpeak wiſe
By my troth thou ſaieſt true: For, ſince the little wit that fooles haue was ſilenced, the little foolerie that wiſe men haue makes a great ſhew; Heere comes MonBeu.
With his mouth full of newes.
Which he vvill put on vs, as Pigeons feed their young.
Then ſhal we be newes-cram'd.
All the better: we ſhalbe the more Marketable. Boon-iour Monſieur le Beu, what's the newes?
Faire Princeſſe, you haue loſt much good ſport.
Sport: of what colour?
What colour Madame? How ſhall I aun
As wit and fortune will.
Or as the deſtinies decrees.
Well ſaid, that was laid on with a trowell.
Nay, if I keepe not my ranke.
Thou looſeſt thy old ſmell.
You amaze me Ladies: I would haue told you of good wraſtling, which you haue loſt the ſight of.
Yet tell vs the manner of the Wraſtling.
I wil tell you the beginning: and if it pleaſe your Ladiſhips, you may ſee the end, for the beſt is yet to doe, and heere where you are, they are comming to performe it.
Well, the beginning that is dead and buried.
There comes an old man, and his three ſons.
I could match this beginning with an old tale.
Three proper yong men, of excellent growth and preſence.
With bils on their neckes: Be it knowne vnto all men by theſe preſents.
The eldeſt of the three, wraſtled with Charles the Dukes Wraſtler, which Charles in a moment threw him, and broke three of his ribbes, that there is little hope of life in him: So he ſeru'd the ſecond, and ſo the third: yonder they lie, the poore old man their Father, making ſuch pittiful dole ouer them, that all the behol
Alas.
But what is the ſport Monſieur, that the Ladies haue loſt?
Why this that I ſpeake of.
Thus men may grow wiſer euery day. It is the firſt time that euer I heard breaking of ribbes was ſport for Ladies.
Or I, I promiſe thee.
But is there any elſe longs to ſee this broken Muſicke in his ſides? Is there yet another doates vpon rib-breaking? Shall we ſee this wraſtling Coſin?
You muſt if you ſtay heere, for heere is the place appointed for the wraſtling, and they are ready to performe it.
Yonder ſure they are comming. Let vs now ſtay and ſee it.
Is yonder the man?
Euen he, Madam.
Alas, he is too yong: yet he looks ſucceſſefully
I my Liege, ſo pleaſe you giue vs leaue.
You wil take little delight in it, I can tell you there is ſuch oddes in the man: In pitie of the challen
Call him hether good Monſieuer Le Beu.
Do ſo: Ile not be by.
Monſieur the Challenger, the Princeſſe cals for you.
I attend them with all reſpect and dutie.
Young man, haue you challeng'd Charles the Wraſtler?
No faire Princeſſe: he is the generall challenger, I come but in as others do, to try with him the ſtrength of my youth.
Yong Gentleman, your ſpirits are too bold for your yeares: you haue ſeene cruell proofe of this mans ſtrength, if you ſaw your ſelfe with your eies, or knew your ſelfe with your iudgment, the feare of your aduen
Do yong Sir, your reputation ſhall not therefore be miſpriſed: we wil make it our ſuite to the Duke, that the wraſtling might not go forward.
I beſeech you, puniſh mee not with your harde thoughts, wherein I confeſſe me much guiltie to denie ſo faire and excellent Ladies anie thing. But let your faire eies, and gentle wiſhes go with mee to my triall; wherein if I bee foil'd, there is but one ſham'd that vvas neuer gracious: if kil'd, but one dead that is willing to be ſo: I ſhall do my friends no wrong, for I haue none to lament me: the world no iniurie, for in it I haue nothing: onely in the world I fil vp a place, which may bee better ſupplied, when I haue made it emptie.
The little ſtrength that I haue, I would it vvere with you.
And mine to eeke out hers.
Fare you well: praie heauen I be deceiu'd in you.
Your hearts deſires be with you.
Come, where is this yong gallant, that is ſo deſirous to lie with his mother earth?
Readie Sir, but his will hath in it a more modeſt working.
You ſhall trie but one fall.
No, I warrant your Grace you ſhall not entreat him to a ſecond, that haue ſo mightilie perſwaded him from a firſt.
You meane to mocke me after: you ſhould not haue mockt me before: but come your waies.
Now Hercules, be thy ſpeede yong man.
I would I were inuiſible, to catch the ſtrong fel
Oh excellent yong man.
If I had a thunderbolt in mine eie, I can tell who ſhould downe.
No more, no more.
Yes I beſeech your Grace, I am not yet well breath'd.
How do'ſt thou Charles?
He cannot ſpeake my Lord.
Orlando my Liege, the yongeſt ſonne of Sir Roland de Boys.
Were I my Father (Coze) would I do this?
I: fare you well faire Gentleman.
Will you goe Coze?
Haue with you: fare you well.
Not one to throw at a dog.
No, thy words are too precious to be caſt away vpon curs, throw ſome of them at me; come lame mee with reaſons.
Then there were two Coſens laid vp, when the one ſhould be lam'd with reaſons, and the other mad without any.
But is all this for your Father?
No, ſome of it is for my childes Father: Oh how full of briers is this working day world.
They are but burs, Coſen, throwne vpon thee in holiday foolerie, if we walke not in the trodden paths our very petty-coates will catch them.
I could ſhake them off my coate, theſe burs are in my heart.
Hem them away.
I would try if I could cry hem, and haue him.
Come, come, wraſtle with thy affections.
O they take the part of a better wraſtler then my ſelfe.
O, a good wiſh vpon you: you will trie in time
Roulands yongeſt ſonne?
The Duke my Father lou'd his Father deerelie.
Doth it therefore enſue that you ſhould loue his Sonne deerelie? By this kinde of chaſe, I ſhould hate him, for my father hated his father deerely; yet I hate not Orlando.
No faith, hate him not for my ſake.
Why ſhould I not? doth he not deſerue well?
With his eies full of anger.
Me Vncle.
Thou art thy Fathers daughter, there's enough.
Deere Soueraigne heare me ſpeake.
I haue more cauſe.
That he hath not.
Why, whether ſhall we goe?
To ſeeke my Vncle in the Forreſt of Arden.
What ſhall I call thee when thou art a man?
And did you leaue him in this contemplation?
Ile bring you to him ſtrait.
Who's there?
Why whether Adam would'ſt thou haue me go?
No matter whether, ſo you come not here.
O Iupiter, how merry are my ſpirits?
I care not for my ſpirits, if my legges were not wearie.
I could finde in my heart to diſgrace my mans apparell, and to cry like a woman: but I muſt comfort the weaker veſſell, as doublet and hoſe ought to ſhow it ſelfe coragious to petty-coate; therefore courage, good Aliena.
I pray you beare with me, I cannot goe no fur
For my part, I had rather beare with you, then beare you: yet I ſhould beare no croſſe if I did beare you, for I thinke you haue no money in your purſe.
Well, this is the Forreſt of Arden.
I, now am I in Arden, the more foole I, when I was at home I was in a better place, but Trauellers muſt be content.
I, be ſo good Touchſtone: Look you, who comes here, a yong man and an old in ſolemne talke.
That is the way to make her ſcorne you ſtill.
Oh Corin, that thou knew'ſt how I do loue her.
I partly gueſſe: for I haue lou'd ere now.
Into a thouſand that I haue forgotten.
And I mine: I remember when I was in loue, I broke my ſword vpon a ſtone, and bid him take that for comming a night to Iane Smile, and I remember the kiſ
Thou ſpeak'ſt wiſer then thou art ware of.
And mine, but it growes ſomething ſtale with mee.
Holla; you Clowne.
Peace foole, he's not thy kinſman.
Who cals?
Your betters Sir.
Elſe are they very wretched.
Peace I ſay; good euen to your friend.
And to you gentle Sir, and to you all.
What is he that ſhall buy his flocke and paſture?
More, more, I pre'thee more.
It will make you melancholly Monſieur Iaques
My voice is ragged, I know I cannot pleaſe you.
What you wil Monſieur Iaques.
Nay, I care not for their names, they owe mee nothing. Wil you ſing?
More at your requeſt, then to pleaſe my ſelfe.
Well then, if euer I thanke any man, Ile thanke you: but that they cal complement is like th' encounter of two dog-Apes. And when a man thankes me hartily, me thinkes I haue giuen him a penie, and he renders me the beggerly thankes. Come ſing; and you that wil not hold your tongues.
Wel, Ile end the ſong. Sirs, couer the while, the Duke wil drinke vnder this tree; he hath bin all this day to looke you.
And Ile ſing it.
What's that Ducdame?
'Tis a Greeke inuocation, to call fools into a cir
He ſaues my labor by his owne approach.
What foole is this?
Thou ſhalt haue one.
Fie on thee. I can tell what thou wouldſt do.
What, for a Counter, would I do, but good?
Forbeare, and eate no more.
Why I haue eate none yet.
Nor ſhalt not, till neceſſity be ſeru'd.
Of what kinde ſhould this Cocke come of?
I almoſt die for food, and let me haue it.
Sit downe and feed, & welcom to our table
I thanke ye, and be bleſt for your good comfort.
Welcome: ſet downe your venerable bur
I thanke you moſt for him.
And how like you this ſhepherds life Mr
Touchſtone?
Truely Shepheard, in reſpect of it ſelfe, it is a good life; but in reſpect that it is a ſhepheards life, it is naught. In reſpect that it is ſolitary, I like it verie well: but in reſpect that it is priuate, it is a very vild life. Now in reſpect it is in the fields, it pleaſeth mee well: but in reſpect it is not in the Court, it is tedious. As it is a ſpare life (looke you) it fits my humor well: but as there is no more plentie in it, it goes much againſt my ſtomacke. Has't any Philoſophie in thee ſhepheard?
No more, but that I know the more one ſickens, the worſe at eaſe he is: and that hee that wants money, meanes, and content, is without three good frends. That the propertie of raine is to wet, and fire to burne: That pood paſture makes fat ſheepe: and that a great cauſe of the night, is lacke of the Sunne: That hee that hath lear
No truly.
Then thou art damn'd.
Nay, I hope.
Truly thou art damn'd, like an ill roaſted Egge, all on one ſide.
For not being at Court? your reaſon.
Why, if thou neuer was't at Court, thou neuer ſaw'ſt good manners: if thou neuer ſaw'ſt good maners, then thy manners muſt be wicked, and wickednes is ſin, and ſinne is damnation: Thou art in a parlous ſtate ſhep
Not a whit Touchſtone, thoſe that are good ma
Inſtance, briefly: come, inſtance.
Why do not your Courtiers hands ſweate? and is not the greaſe of a Mutton, as wholeſome as the ſweat of a man? Shallow, ſhallow: A better inſtance I ſay: Come.
Beſides, our hands are hard.
Your lips wil feele them the ſooner. Shallow a
And they are often tarr'd ouer, with the ſurgery of our ſheepe: and would you haue vs kiſſe Tarre? The Courtiers hands are perfum'd with Ciuet.
Moſt ſhallow man: Thou wormes meate in re
You haue too Courtly a wit for me, Ile reſt.
Wilt thou reſt damn'd? God helpe thee ſhallow man: God make inciſion in thee, thou art raw.
Sir, I am a true Labourer, I earne that I eate: get that I weare; owe no man hate, enuie no mans happi
That is another ſimple ſinne in you, to bring the Ewes and the Rammes together, and to offer to get your liuing, by the copulation of Cattle, to be baw'd to a Bel
Heere comes yong Mr
Ganimed, my new Miſtriſ
Ile rime you ſo, eight yeares together; dinners, and ſuppers, and ſleeping hours excepted: it is the right Butter-womens ranke to Market.
Out Foole.
For a taſte.
If a Hart doe lacke a Hinde, Let him ſeeke out Roſalinde: If the Cat will after kinde, ſo be ſure will Roſalinde: Wintred garments muſt be linde, ſo muſt ſlender Roſalinde: They that reap muſt ſheafe and binde, then to cart with Roſalinde. Sweeteſt nut, bath ſowreſt rinde, ſuch a nut is Roſalinde. He that ſweeteſt roſe will finde, muſt finde Loues pricke, & Roſalinde.
This is the verie falſe gallop of Verſes, why doe you in
Peace you dull folle, I found them on a tree.
Truely the tree yeelds bad fruite.
Ile graffe it with you, and then I ſhall graffe it with a Medler: then it will be the earlieſt fruit i' th coun
You haue ſaid: but whether wiſely or no, let the Forreſt iudge.
Peace, here comes my ſiſter reading, ſtand a ſide.
Why ſhould this Deſert bee, for it is vnpeopled? Noe: Tonges Ile hang on euerie tree, that ſhall ciuill ſayings ſhoe. Some, how briefe the Life of man runs his erring pilgrimage, That the ſtretching of a ſpan, buckles in his ſumme of age. Some of violated vowes, twixt the ſoules of friend, and friend: But vpon the faireſt bowes, or at euerie ſentence end; Will I Roſalinda write, teaching all that reade, to know The quinteſſence of euerie ſprite, heauen would in little ſhow. Therefore heauen Nature charg'd, that one bodie ſhould be fill'd With all Graces wide enlarg'd, nature preſently diſtill'd Helens cheeke, but not his heart, Cleopatra'sMaieſtie:Attalanta'sbetter part,ſad Lucrecia'sModeſtie.Thus Roſalindeof manie parts,by Heauenly Synode was deuis'd, Of manie faces, eyes, and hearts, to haue the touches deereſt pris'd. Heauen would that ſhee theſe gifts ſhould haue, and I to liue and die her ſlaue.
O moſt gentle Iupiter, what tedious homilie of Loue haue you wearied your pariſhioners withall, and neuer cri'de, haue patience good people.
How now backe friends: Shepheard, go off a lit
Come Shepheard, let vs make an honorable re
Didſt thou heare theſe verſes?
O yes, I heard them all, and more too, for ſome of them had in them more feete then the Verſes would beare.
That's no matter: the feet might beare ye verſes.
I, but the feet were lame, and could not beare themſelues without the verſe, and therefore ſtood lame
But didſt thou heare without wondering, how thy name ſhould be hang'd and carued vpon theſe trees?
I was ſeuen of the nine daies out of the wonder, before you came: for looke heere what I found on a Palme tree; I was neuer ſo berim d ſince Pythagoras time that I was an Iriſh Rat, which I can hardly remember.
Tro you, who hath done this?
Is it a man?
And a chaine that you once wore about his neck: change you colour?
I, pre'thee who?
O Lord, Lord, it is a hard matter for friends to meete; but Mountaines may bee remoou'd with Earth
Nay, but who is it?
Is it poſſible?
Nay, I pre'thee now, with moſt petitionary ve
O wonderfull, wonderfull, and moſt wonderfull wonderfull, and yet againe wonderful, and after that out of all hooping.
Good my complection, doſt thou think though I am capariſon'd like a man, I haue a doublet and hoſe in my diſpoſition? One inch of delay more, is a South-ſea of diſcouerie. I pre'thee tell me, who is it quickely, and ſpeake apace: I would thou couldſt ſtammer, that thou might'ſt powre this conceal'd man out of thy mouth, as Wine comes out of a narrow-mouth'd bottle: either too much at once, or none at all. I pre'thee take the Corke out of thy mouth, that I may drinke thy tydings.
So you may put a man in your belly.
Nay, he hath but a little beard.
Why God will ſend more, if the man will bee thankful: let me ſtay the growth of his beard, if thou delay me not the knowledge of his chin.
It is yong Orlando, that tript vp the Wraſtlers heeles, and your heart, both in an inſtant.
Nay, but the diuell take mocking: ſpeake ſadde brow, and true maid.
I' faith (Coz) tis he.
Orlando?
Orlando.
Alas the day, what ſhall I do with my doublet & hoſe? What did he when thou ſaw'ſt him? What ſayde he? How look'd he? Wherein went he? What makes hee heere? Did he aske for me? Where remaines he? How parted he with thee? And when ſhalt thou ſee him a
You muſt borrow me Gargantuas mouth firſt: 'tis a Word too great for any mouth of this Ages ſize, to ſay I and no, to theſe particulars, is more then to anſwer in a Catechiſme.
But doth he know that I am in this Forreſt, and in mans apparrell? Looks he as freſhly, as he did the day he Wraſtled?
It is as eaſie to count Atomies as to reſolue the propoſitions of a Louer: but take a taſte of my finding him, and relliſh it with good obſeruance. I found him vnder a tree like a drop'd Acorne.
It may vvel be cal'd Ioues tree, when it droppes forth fruite.
Giue me audience, good Madam.
Proceed.
There lay hee ſtretch'd along like a Wounded knight.
Though it be pittie to ſee ſuch a ſight, it vvell becomes the ground.
Cry holla, to the tongue, I prethee: it curuettes vnſeaſonably. He was furniſh'd like a Hunter.
O ominous, he comes to kill my Hart.
I would ſing my ſong without a burthen, thou bring'ſt me out of tune.
You bring me out. Soft, comes he not heere?
'Tis he, ſlinke by, and note him.
God buy you, let's meet as little as we can.
I do deſire we may be better ſtrangers.
I pray you marre no more trees vvith Writing Loue-ſongs in their barkes.
I pray you marre no moe of my verſes with rea
Roſalinde is your loues name?
Yes, Iuſt.
I do not like her name.
There was no thought of pleaſing you when ſhe was chriſten'd.
What ſtature is ſhe of?
Iuſt as high as my heart.
You are ful of prety anſwers: haue you not bin ac
Not ſo: but I anſwer you right painted cloath, from whence you haue ſtudied your queſtions.
You haue a nimble wit; I thinke 'twas made of Attalanta's heeles. Will you ſitte downe with me, and wee two, will raile againſt our Miſtris the world, and all our miſerie.
I wil chide no breather in the world but my ſelfe
The worſt fault you haue, is to be in loue.
'Tis a fault I will not change, for your beſt ver
By my troth, I was ſeeking for a Foole, when I found you.
He is drown'd in the brooke, looke but in, and you ſhall ſee him.
There I ſhal ſee mine owne figure.
Which I take to be either a foole, or a Cipher.
Ile tarrie no longer with you, farewell good ſig
I am glad of your departure: Adieu good Mon
I wil ſpeake to him like a ſawcie Lacky
Verie wel, what would you?
I pray you, what i'ſt a clocke?
You ſhould aske me what time o' day: there's no clocke in the Forreſt.
Then there is no true Louer in the Forreſt, elſe ſighing euerie minute and groaning euerie houre wold detect the lazie foot of time, as wel as a clocke.
And why not the ſwift foote of time? Had not that bin as proper?
By no meanes ſir; Time trauels in diuers paces, with diuers perſons: Ile tel you who Time ambles with
I prethee, who doth he trot withal?
Marry he trots hard with a yong maid, between the contract of her marriage, and the day it is ſolemnizd: if the interim be but a ſennight, Times pace is ſo hard, that it ſeemes the length of ſeuen yeare.
Who ambles Time withal?
With a Prieſt that lacks Latine, and a rich man that hath not the Gowt: for the one ſleepes eaſily be
Who doth he gallop withal?
With a theefe to the gallowes: for though hee go as ſoftly as foot can fall, he thinkes himſelfe too ſoon there.
Who ſtaies it ſtil withal?
With Lawiers in the vacation: for they ſleepe betweene Terme and Terme, and then they perceiue not how time moues.
Where dwel you prettie youth?
With this Shepheardeſſe my ſiſter: heere in the skirts of the Forreſt, like fringe vpon a petticoat.
Are you natiue of this place?
As the Conie that you ſee dwell where ſhee is kindled.
Your accent is ſomething finer, then you could purchaſe in ſo remoued a dwelling.
I haue bin told ſo of many: but indeed, an olde religious Vnckle of mine taught me to ſpeake, who was in his youth an inland man, one that knew Courtſhip too well: for there he fel in loue. I haue heard him read ma
Can you remember any of the principall euils, that he laid to the charge of women?
There were none principal, they were all like one another, as halfe pence are, euerie one fault ſeeming monſtrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it.
I prethee recount ſome of them.
No: I wil not caſt away my phyſick, but on thoſe that are ſicke. There is a man haunts the Forreſt, that aRoſalinde on their barkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and Elegies on brambles; all (forſooth) defying the name of Roſalinde. If I could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue him ſome good counſel, for he ſeemes to haue the Quotidian of Loue vpon him.
I am he that is ſo Loue-ſhak'd, I pray you tel me your remedie.
There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you: he taught me how to know a man in loue: in which cage of ruſhes, I am ſure you act not priſoner.
What were his markes?
A leane cheeke, which you haue not: a blew eie and ſunken, which you haue not: an vnqueſtionable ſpi
Faire youth, I would I could make thee beleeue I Loue.
Me beleeue it? You may aſſoone make her that you Loue beleeue it, which I warrant ſhe is apter to do, then to confeſſe ſhe do'Roſalind is ſo admired?
I ſweare to thee youth, by the white hand of Roſalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he.
But are you ſo much in loue, as your rimes ſpeak?
Neither rime nor reaſon can expreſſe how much.
Loue is meerely a madneſſe, and I tel you, de
Did you euer cure any ſo?
Yes one, and in this manner. Hee was to imac was to forſweare the ful ſtream of ye world, and to liue in a nooke meerly Monaſtick: and thus I cur'd him, and this way wil I take vpon mee to waſh your Li
I would not be cured, youth.
I would cure you, if you would but call me Roſalind, and come euerie day to my Coat, and woe me.
Now by the faith of my loue, I will; Tel me where it is.
Go with me to it, and Ile ſhew it you: and by the way, you ſhal tell me, where in the Forreſt you liue: Wil you go?
With all my heart, good youth.
Nay, you muſt call mee Roſalind: Come ſiſter, will you go?
Your features, Lord warrant vs: what features?
I am heere with thee, and thy Goats, as the moſt capricious Poet honeſt Ouid was among the Gothes.
O knowledge ill inhabited, worſe then loue in a thatch'd houſe.
When a mans verſes cannot be vnderſtood, nor a mans good wit ſeconded with the forward childe, vn
I do not know what Poetical is: is it honeſt in deed and word: is it a true thing?
No trulie: for the trueſt poetrie is the moſt fai
Do you wiſh then that the Gods had made me Poeticall?
I do truly: for thou ſwear'ſt to me thou art ho
Would you not haue me honeſt?
No truly, vnleſſe thou wert hard fauour'd: for honeſtie coupled to beautie, is to haue Honie a ſawce to Sugar.
A materiall foole.
Well, I am not faire, and therefore I pray the Gods make me honeſt.
Truly, and to caſt away honeſtie vppon a foule ſlut, were to put good meate into an vncleane diſh.
I am not a ſlut, though I thanke the Goddes I am foule.
Well, praiſed be the Gods, for thy foulneſſe; ſlutOliuer Mar-text, the Vicar of the next village, who hath promis'd to meete me in this place of the Forreſt, and to couple vs.
I would faine ſee this meeting.
Wel, the Gods giue vs ioy.
Amen. A man may if he were of a fearful heart, ſtagger in this attempt: for heere wee haue no Temple but the wood, no aſſembly but horne-beaſts. But what though? Courage. As hornes are odious, they are neceſ
Heere comes Sir Oliuer: Sir Oliuer Mar-text you are wel met. Will you diſpatch vs heere vnder this tree, or ſhal we go with you to your Chappell?
Is there none heere to giue the woman?
I wil not take her on guift of any man.
Truly ſhe muſt be giuen, or the marriage is not lawfull.
Proceed, proceede: Ile giue her.
Good euen good Mr what ye cal't: how do you Sir, you are verie well met: goddild you for your laſt companie, I am verie glad to ſee you, euen a toy in hand heere Sir: Nay, pray be couer'd.
Wil you be married, Motley?
As the Oxe hath his bow ſir, the horſe his curb, and the Falcon her bels, ſo man hath his deſires, and as Pigeons bill, ſo wedlocke would be nibling.
And wil you (being a man of your breeding) be married vnder a buſh like a begger? Get you to church, and haue a good Prieſt that can tel you what marriage is, this fellow wil but ioyne you together, as they ioyne Wainſcot, then one of you wil proue a ſhrunke pannell, and like greene timber, warpe, warpe.
I am not in the minde, but I were better to bee married of him then of another, for he is not like to mar
Farewel good Mr
Oliuer: Not O ſweet Oliuer, O braue Oliuer leaue me not behind thee: But winde away, bee gone I ſay, I wil not to wedding with thee.
'Tis no matter; Ne're a fantaſtical knaue of them all ſhal ſlout me out of my calling.
Neuer talke to me, I wil weepe.
Do I prethee, but yet haue the grace to conſider, that teares do not become a man.
But haue I not cauſe to weepe?
I' faith his haire is of a good colour.
Hee hath bought a paire of caſt lips of Diana: a Nun of winters ſiſterhood kiſſes not more religiouſlie, the very yee of chaſtity is in them.
But why did hee ſweare hee would come this morning, and comes not?
Nay certainly there is no truth in him.
Doe you thinke ſo?
Yes, I thinke he is not a picke purſe, nor a horſe-ſtealer, but for his verity in loue, I doe thinke him as concaue as a couered goblet, or a Worme-eaten nut.
Not true in loue?
Yes, when he is in, but I thinke he is not in.
You haue heard him ſweare downright he was.
Was, is not is: beſides, the oath of Louer is no ſtronger then the word of a Tapſter, they are both the confirmer of falſe reckonings, he attends here in the for
I met the Duke yeſterday, and had much queOrlando?
O that's a braue man, hee writes braue verſes, ſpeakes braue words, ſweares braue oathes, and breakes them brauely, quite trauers athwart the heart of his lot ſpurs his horſe but on one ſide, breakes his ſtaffe like a noble gooſe; but all's braue that youth mounts, and folly guides: who comes heere?
Well: and what of him?
For no ill will I beare you.
Sweet Phebe.
Hah: what ſaiſt thou Siluius?
Sweet Phebe pitty me.
Why I am ſorry for thee gentle Siluius.
Thou haſt my loue, is not that neighbourly?
I would haue you.
Knowſt thou the youth that ſpoke to mee yere-while?
Phebe, with all my heart.
I prethee, pretty youth, let me better acquainted with thee.
They ſay you are a melancholly fellow.
I am ſo: I doe loue it better then laughing.
Thoſe that are in extremity of either, are abho
Why, 'tis good to be ſad and ſay nothing.
Why then 'tis good to be a poſte.
I haue neither the Schollers melancholy, which is emulation: nor the Muſitians, which is fantaſticall; nor the Courtiers, which is proud: nor the Souldiers, which is ambitious: nor the Lawiers, which is politick: nor the Ladies, which is nice: nor the Louers, which is all theſe: but it is a melancholy of mine owne, com
A Traueller: by my faith you haue great rea
Yes, I haue gain'd my experience.
And your experience makes you ſad: I had ra
Good day, and happineſſe, deere Roſalind.
Nay then God buy you, and you talke in blanke verſe.
Farewell Mounſieur Trauellor: looke you liſpe, and weare ſtrange ſuites; diſable all the benefits of your owne Countrie: be out of loue with your natiuitie, and almoſt chide God for making you that countenance you are; or I will ſcarce thinke you haue ſwam in a Gundello. Why how now Orlando, where haue you bin all this while? you a louer? and you ſerue me ſuch another tricke, neuer come in my ſight more.
My faire Roſalind, I come within an houre of my promiſe.
Breake an houres promiſe in loue? hee that will diuide a minute into a thouſand parts, and breake but a part of the thouſand part of a minute in the affairs of loue, it may be ſaid of him that Cupid hath clapt him oth' ſhoulder, but Ile warrant him heart hole.
Pardon me deere Roſalind.
Nay, and you be ſo tardie, come no more in my ſight, I had as liefe be woo'd of a Snaile.
Of a Snaile?
I, of a Snaile: for though he comes ſlowly, hee carries his houſe on his head; a better ioyncture I thinke then you make a woman: beſides, he brings his deſtinie with him.
What's that?
Why hornes: wr ſuch as you are faine to be be
Vertue is no horne-maker: and my Roſalind is vertuous.
And I am your Roſalind.
It pleaſes him to call you ſo: but he hath a Roſalind of a better leere then you.
Come, wooe me, wooe mee: for now I am in a holy-day humor, and like enough to conſent: What would you ſay to me now, and I were your verie, verie Roſalind?
I would kiſſe before I ſpoke.
Nay, you were better ſpeake firſt, and when you were grauel'd, for lacke of matter, you might take oc
How if the kiſſe be denide?
Then ſhe puts you to entreatie, and there begins new matter.
Who could be out, being before his beloued Miſtris?
Marrie that ſhould you if I were your Miſtris, or I ſhould thinke my honeſtie ranker then my wit.
What, of my ſuite?
I take ſome ioy to ſay you are, becauſe I would be talking of her.
Well, in her perſon, I ſay I will not haue you.
Then in mine owne perſon, I die.
No faith, die by Attorney: the poore world is almoſt ſix thouſand yeeres old, and in all this time there was not anie man died in his owne perſon (videlicet) in a loue cauſe: Trotlous had his braines daſh'd out with a Grecian club, yet he did what hee could to die before, and he is one of the patternes of loue. Leander, he would haue liu'd manie a faire yeere though Hero had turn'd Nun; if it had not bin for a hot Midſomer-night, for (good youth) he went but forth to waſh him in the HelHero of Ceſtos. But theſe are all lies, men haue died from time to time, and wormes haue eaten them, but not for loue.
I would not haue my right Roſalind of this mind, for I proteſt her frowne might kill me.
By this hand, it will not kill a flie: but come, now I will be your Roſalind in a more comming-on diſ
Then loue me Roſalind.
Yes faith will I, fridaies and ſaterdaies, and all.
And wilt thou haue me?
I, and twentie ſuch.
What ſaieſt thou?
Are you not good?
I hope ſo.
Why then, can one deſire too much of a good thing: Come ſiſter, you ſhall be the Prieſt, and marrie vs: giue me your hand Orlando: What doe you ſay ſiſter?
Pray thee marrie vs.
I cannot ſay the words.
You muſt begin, will you Orlando.
Goe too: wil you Orlando, haue to wife this Roſalind?
I will.
I, but when?
Why now, as faſt as ſhe can marrie vs.
Then you muſt ſay, I take thee Roſalind for wife.
I take thee Roſalind for wife.
I might aske you for your Commiſſion, But I doe take thee Orlando for my husband: there's a girle goes before the Prieſt, and certainely a Womans thought runs before her actions.
So do all thoughts, they are wing'd.
Now tell me how long you would haue her, af
For euer, and a day.
Say a day, without the euer: no, no Orlando, men are Aprill when they woe, December when they wed: Maides are May when they are maides, but the sky chanDiana in the Foun
But will my Roſalind doe ſo?
By my life, ſhe will doe as I doe.
O but ſhe is wiſe.
Or elſe ſhee could not haue the wit to doe this: the wiſer, the waywarder: make the doores vpon a wo
A man that had a wife with ſuch a wit, he might ſay, wit whether wil't?
Nay, you might keepe that checke for it, till you met your wiues wit going to your neighbours bed.
And what wit could wit haue, to excuſe that?
Marry to ſay, ſhe came to ſeeke you there: you ſhall neuer take her without her anſwer, vnleſſe you take her without her tongue: ô that woman that cannot make her fault her huſbands occaſion, let her neuer nurſe her childe her ſelfe, for ſhe will breed it like a foole.
For theſe two houres Roſalinde, I wil leaue thee.
Alas, deere loue, I cannot lacke thee two houres.
I muſt attend the Duke at dinner, by two a clock I will be with thee againe.
I, goe your waies, goe your waies: I knew what you would proue, my friends told mee as much, and I thought no leſſe: that flattering tongue of yours wonne me: 'tis but one caſt away: and ſo come death: two o'clocke is your howre.
I, ſweet Roſalind.
By my troth, and in good earneſt, and ſo God mend mee, and by all pretty oathes that are not dangeRoſalinde, that may bee choſen out of the groſſe band of the vnfaith
With no leſſe religion, then if thou wert indeed my Roſalind: ſo adieu.
Well, Time is the olde Iuſtice that examines all ſuch offenders, and let time try: adieu.
You haue ſimply miſus'd our ſexe in your loue-prate:
O coz, coz, coz: my pretty little coz, that thou didſt know how many fathome deepe I am in loue: but it cannot bee ſounded: my affection hath an vnknowne bottome, like the Bay of Portugall.
Or rather bottomleſſe, that as faſt as you poure affection in, in runs out.
No, that ſame wicked Baſtard of Venus, that was begot of thought, conceiu'd of ſpleene, and borne of madneſſe, that blinde raſcally boy, that abuſes euery ones eyes, becauſe his owne are out, let him bee iudge, how deepe I am in loue: ile tell thee Aliena, I cannot be out of the ſight of Orlando: Ile goe finde a ſhadow, and ſigh till he come.
And Ile ſleepe.
Which is he that killed the Deare?
Sir, it was I.
Let's preſent him to the Duke like a Romane Conquerour, and it would doe well to ſet the Deares horns vpon his head, for a branch of victory; haue you no ſong Forreſter for this purpoſe?
Yes Sir.
Sing it: 'tis no matter how it bee in tune, ſo it make noyſe enough.
Sure it is hers.
Call you this railing?
Call you this chiding?
Alas poore Shepheard.
Doe you pitty him? No, he deſerues no pitty: wilt thou loue ſuch a woman? what to make thee an in
It is no boaſt, being ask'd, to ſay we are.
I am: what muſt we vnderſtand by this?
I pray you tell it.
Are you his brother?
Was't you he reſcu'd?
Was't you that did ſo oft contriue to kill him?
But for the bloody napkin?
Why how now Ganimed, ſweet Ganimed.
Many will ſwoon when they do look on bloud.
There is more in it; Coſen Ganimed.
Looke, he recouers.
I would I were at home.
I doe ſo, I confeſſe it:
Ah, ſirra, a body would thinke this was well counterfei
This was not counterfeit, there is too great te
Counterfeit, I aſſure you.
Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to be a man.
So I doe: but yfaith, I ſhould haue beene a wo
Come, you looke paler and paler: pray you draw homewards: good ſir, goe with vs.
I ſhall deuiſe: ſomething: but I pray you com
We ſhall finde a time Awdrie, patience genAwdrie.
Faith the Prieſt was good enough, for all the olde gentlemans ſaying.
A moſt wicked Sir Oliuer, Awdrie, a moſt vile Mar-text. But Awdrie, there is a youth heere in the Forreſt layes claime to you.
I, I know who 'tis: he hath no intereſt in mee in the world: here comes the man you meane.
It is meat and drinke to me to ſee a Clowne, by
Good eu'n Audrey.
God ye good eu'n William.
And good eu'n to you Sir.
Good eu'n gentle friend. Couer thy head, couer thy head: Nay prethee bee eouer'd. How olde are you Friend?
Fiue and twentie Sir.
A ripe age: Is thy name William?
William, ſir.
A faire name. Was't borne i' th Forreſt heere?
I ſir, I thanke God.
'Faith ſir, ſo, ſo.
I ſir, I haue a prettie wit.
Why, thou ſaiſt well. I do now remember a ſay
I do ſit.
Giue me your hand: Art thou Learned?
No ſir.
Then learne this of me, To haue, is to haue. For it is a figure in Rhetoricke, that drink being powr'd out of a cup into a glaſſe, by filling the one, doth empty the other. For all your Writers do conſent, that ipſe is hee: now you are not ipſe, for I am he.
Which he ſir?
He ſir, that muſt marrie this woman: Therefore you Clowne, abandon: which is in the vulgar, leaue the ſocietie: which in the booriſh, is companie, of this fe
Do good William.
God reſt you merry ſir.
Our Maſter and Miſtreſſe ſeekes you: come a
Trip Audry, trip Audry, I attend, I attend.
Is't poſſible, that on ſo little acquaintance you ſhould like her? that, but ſeeing, you ſhould loue her? And louing woo? and wooing, ſhe ſhould graunt? And will you perſeuer to enioy her?
Neither call the giddineſſe of it in queſtion; the pouertie of her, the ſmall acquaintance, my ſodaine woAliena: ſay with her, that ſhe loues mee; conſent with both, that we may enioy each other: it ſhall be to your good: for my fathers houſe, and all the reuennew, that was old Sir Rowlands will I eſtate vpon you, and heere liue and die a Shepherd.
God ſaue you brother.
And you faire ſiſter.
Oh my deere Orlando, how it greeues me to ſee thee weare thy heart in a ſcarfe.
It is my arme.
I thought thy heart had beene wounded with the clawes of a Lion.
Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a Lady.
Did your brother tell you how I counterfeyted to ſound, when he ſhew'd me your handkercher?
I, and greater wonders then that.
O, I know where you are: nay, tis true: there was neuer any thing ſo ſodaine, but the fight of two Rammes, and Ceſars Thraſonicall bragge of I came, ſaw, and ouercome. For your brother, and my ſiſter, no ſoo
They ſhall be married to morrow: and I will bid the Duke to the Nuptiall. But O, how bitter a thing it is, to looke into happines through another mans eies: by ſo much the more ſhall I to morrow be at the height of heart heauineſſe
Why then to morrow, I cannot ſerue your turne for Roſalind?
I can liue no longer by thinking.
I will wearie you then no longer with idle talRoſalinde ſo neere the hart, as your geſture cries it out: when your brother marries Aliena, ſhall you marrie her. I know in
Speak'ſt thou in ſober meanings?
By my life I do, which I tender deerly, though I ſay I am a Magitian: Therefore put you in your beſt aRoſalind if you will.
Good ſhepheard, tell this youth what 'tis to loue
And I for Ganimed.
And I for Roſalind.
And I for no woman.
And I for Ganimed.
And I for Roſalind.
And I for no woman.
And ſo am I for Ganimed.
And ſo am I for Roſalind.
And ſo am I for no woman.
If this be ſo, why blame you me to loue you?
If this be ſo, why blame you me to loue you?
If this be ſo, why blame you me to loue you?
Why do you ſpeake too. Why blame you mee to loue you.
To her, that is not heere, nor doth not heare.
Pray you no more of this, 'tis like the howling of Iriſh Wolues againſt the Moone: I will helpe you if I can: I would loue you if I could: To morrow meet me altogether: I wil marrie you, if euer I marrie WoRoſalind meet, as you loue Phebe meet, and as I loue no woman, Ile meet: ſo fare you wel: I haue left you com
Ile not faile, if I liue.
Nor I.
Nor I.
To morrow is the ioyfull day Audrey, to morow will we be married.
I do deſire it with all my heart: and I hope it is no diſhoneſt deſire, to deſire to be a woman of ye world? Heere come two of the baniſh'd Dukes Pages.
Wel met honeſt Gentleman.
By my troth well met: come, ſit, ſit, and a ſong.
We are for you, ſit i' th middle.
Shal we clap into't roundly, without hauking, or ſpitting, or ſaying we are hoarſe, which are the onely prologues to a bad voice.
I faith, y' faith, and both in a tune like two gipſies on a horſe.
Truly yong Gentlemen, though there vvas no great matter in the dittie, yet ye note was very vntunable
you are deceiu'd Sir, we kept time, we loſt not our time.
By my troth yes: I count it but time loſt to heare ſuch a fooliſh ſong. God buy you, and God mend your voices. Come Audrie.
That would I, had I kingdoms to giue with hir.
And you ſay you wil haue her, when I bring hir?
That would I, were I of all kingdomes King.
You ſay, you'l marrie me, if I be willing.
That will I, ſhould I die the houre after.
So is the bargaine.
You ſay that you'l haue Phebe if ſhe will.
Though to haue her and death, were both one thing.
There is ſure another flood toward, and theſe couples are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payre of verie ſtrange beaſts, which in all tongues, are call'd Fooles.
Salutation and greeting to you all.
Good my Lord, bid him welcome: This is the Motley-minded Gentleman, that I haue ſo often met in the Forreſt: he hath bin a Courtier he ſweares.
If any man doubt that, let him put mee to my purgation, I haue trod a meaſure, I haue flattred a Lady, I haue bin politicke with my friend, ſmooth with mine enemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had foure quarrels, and like to haue fought one.
And how was that tane vp?
'Faith we met, and found the quarrel was vpon the ſeuenth cauſe.
How ſeuenth cauſe? Good my Lord, like this fellow.
I like him very well.
God
By my faith, he is very ſwift, and ſententious
According to the fooles bolt ſir, and ſuch dulcet diſeaſes.
But for the ſeuenth cauſe. How did you finde the quarrell on the ſeuenth cauſe?
Vpon a lye, ſeuen times remoued: (beare your bodie more ſeeming Audry) as thus ſir: I did diſlike the cut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he ſent me word, if I ſaid his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde it was: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I ſent him word againe, it was not well cut, he wold ſend me word he cut it to pleaſe himſelfe: this is call'd the quip modeſt. If againe, it was not well cut, he diſabled my iudgment: this is called, the reply churliſh. If againe it was not well cut, he would anſwer I ſpake not true: this is call'd the reproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he wold ſay, I lie: this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelſome: and ſo to lye circumſtantiall, and the lye direct.
And how oft did you ſay his beard was not well cut?
I durſt go no further then the lye circumſtantial: nor he durſt not giue me the lye direct: and ſo wee mea
Can you nominate in order now, the degrees of the lye.
O ſir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as you haue bookes for good manners: I will name you the de
Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as good at any thing, and yet a foole.
He vſes his folly like a ſtalking-horſe, and vn
If there be truth in ſight, you are my daughter.
If there be truth in ſight, you are my Roſalind.
If ſight & ſhape be true, why then my loue adieu
He hath.
Stay, Iaques, ſtay.
It is not the faſhion to ſee the Ladie the Epi
A paire of ſtockes you rogue.
Y' are a baggage, the Slies are no Rogues. Looke in the Chronicles, we came in with Richard Conqueror: therefore Paucas pallabris, let the world ſlide: Seſſa.
You will not pay for the glaſſes you haue burſt?
No, not a deniere: go by S. Ieronimie, goe to thy cold bed, and warme thee.
I know my remedie, I muſt go fetch the Head-borough.
Third, or fourth, or fift Borough, Ile anſwere him by Law. Ile not budge an inch boy: Let him come, and kindly.
I will my Lord.
What's heere? One dead, or drunke? See doth he breath?
He breath's my Lord. Were he not warm'd with Ale, this were a bed but cold to ſleep ſo ſoundly.
Beleeue me Lord, I thinke he cannot chooſe.
It would ſeem ſtrange vnto him when he w
We thanke your Honor.
Do you intend to ſtay with me to night?
So pleaſe your Lordſhippe to accept our dutie.
I thinke 'twas Soto that your honor meanes.
For Gods ſake a pot of ſmall Ale.
Wilt pleaſe your Lord drink a cup of ſacke?
Wilt pleaſe your Honor taſte of theſe Con
What raiment wil your honor weare to day.
I am Chriſtophero Sly, call not mee Honour nor Lordſhip: I ne're drank ſacke in my life: and if you giue me any Conſerues, giue me conſerues of Beefe: nere ask me what raiment Ile weare, for I haue no more doub
What would you make me mad? Am not I Chriſtopher Slie, old Sies ſonne of Burton-heath, by byrth a Pedler, by education a Cardmaker, by tranſmutation a Beare-heard, and now by preſent profeſſion a Tinker. Aske
Oh this it is that makes your Ladie mourne.
Oh this is it that makes your ſeruants droop.
I, the womans maide of the houſe.
Now Lord be thanked for my good amends.
Amen.
I thanke thee, thou ſhalt not looſe by it.
How fares my noble Lord?
Heere noble Lord, what is thy will with her?
I know it well, what muſt I call her?
Madam.
Alce Madam, or Ione Madam?
Madam, and nothing elſe, ſo Lords cal Ladies
I, it ſtands ſo that I may hardly tarry ſo long: But I would be loth to fall into my dreames againe: I wil therefore tarrie in deſpight of the fleſh & the blood
Marrie I will let them play, it is not a Comon
No my good Lord, it is more pleaſing ſtuffe.
What, houſhold ſtuffe.
It is a a kinde of hiſtory.
Maſter ſome ſhew to welcome vs to Towne.
From all ſuch diuels, good Lord deliuer vs.
And me too, good Lord.
Well ſaid Mr, mum, and gaze your fill.
A pretty peate, it is beſt put finger in the eye, and ſhe knew why.
Harke Tranio, thou maiſt heare Minerua ſpeak.
You may go to the diuels dam: your guifts are ſo good heere's none will holde you: Their loue is not ſo great Hortenſio, but we may blow our nails together, and faſt it fairely out. Our cakes dough on both ſides. Farewell: yet for the loue I beare my ſweet Bianca, if I can by any meanes light on a fit man to teach her that wherein ſhe delights, I will wiſh him to her father.
So will I ſigniour Gremio: but a word I pray: Though the nature of our quarrell yet neuer brook'd parle, know now vpon aduice, it toucheth vs both: that we may yet againe haue acceſſe to our faire Miſtris, and be happie riuals in Bianca's loue, to labour and effect one thing ſpecially.
What's that I pray?
Marrie ſir to get a husband for her Siſter.
A huſband: a diuell.
I ſay a husband.
I ſay, a diuell: Think'ſt thou Hortenſio, though her father be verie rich, any man is ſo verie a foole to be married to hell?
Tuſh Gremio: though it paſſe your patience & mine to endure her lowd alarums, why man there bee good fellowes in the world, and a man could light on them, would take her with all faults, and mony enough.
I cannot tell: but I had as lief take her dowrie with this condition; To be whipt at the hie croſſe euerie morning.
Faith (as you ſay) there's ſmall choiſe in rotten apples: but come, ſince this bar in law makes vs friends, it ſhall be ſo farre forth friendly maintain'd, till by helBaptiſtas eldeſt daughter to a husband, wee ſet his yongeſt free for a husband, and then haue too t afreſh: Sweet Bianca, happy man be his dole: hee that runnes faſteſt, gets the Ring: How ſay you ſignior Gremio?
I am agreed, and would I had giuen him the beſt horſe in Padua to begin his woing that would tho
I marry am I ſir, and now 'tis plotted.
I haue it Tranio.
Tell me thine firſt.
It is: May it be done?
Where haue I beene? Nay how now, where are you? Maiſter, ha's my fellow Tranio ſtolne your cloathes, or you ſtolne his, or both? Pray what's the newes?
I ſir, ne're a whit.
The better for him, would I were ſo too.
So could I 'faith boy, to haue the next wiſh afLucentio indeede had Baptiſtas yongeſt daughTranio: but in all places elſe, you maſter Lucentio.
My Lord you nod, you do not minde the play.
My Lord, 'tis but begun.
'Tis a verie excellent peece of worke, Madame Ladie: would 'twere done.
Knocke ſir? whom ſhould I knocke? Is there any man ha's rebus'd your worſhip?
Villaine I ſay, knocke me heere ſoundly.
Knocke you heere ſir? Why ſir, what am I ſir, that I ſhould knocke you heere ſir.
Helpe miſtris helpe, my maſter is mad.
Now knocke when I bid you: ſirrah villaine.
How now, what's the matter? My olde friend Grumio, and my good friend Petruchio? How do you all at Verona?
Nay 'tis no matter ſir, what he leges in Latine. If this be not a lawfull cauſe for me to leaue his ſeruice, looke you ſir: He bid me knocke him, & rap him ſoundGrumio come by the worſt.
Knocke at the gate? O heauens: ſpake you not theſe words plaine? Sirra, Knocke me heere: rappe me heere: knocke me well, and knocke me ſoundly? And come you now with knocking at the gate?
Sirra be gone, or talke not I aduiſe you
Nay looke you ſir, hee tels you flatly what his minde is: why giue him Gold enough, and marrie him to a Puppet or an Aglet babie, or an old trot with ne're a tooth in her head, though ſhe haue as manie diſeaſes as two and fiftie horſes. Why nothing comes amiſſe, ſo monie comes withall.
I pray you Sir let him go while the humor laſts. A my word, and ſhe knew him as wel as I do, ſhe would thinke ſcolding would doe little good vpon him. Shee may perhaps call him halfe a ſcore Knaues, or ſo: Why that's nothing; and he begin once, hee'l raile in his rope trickes. Ile tell you what ſir, and ſhe ſtand him but a li
Heere's no knauerie. See, to beguile the olde-folkes, how the young folkes lay their heads together. Maſter, maſter, looke about you: Who goes there? ha.
A proper ſtripling, and an amorous.
Oh this learning, what a thing it is.
Oh this Woodcocke, what an Aſſe it is.
Peace ſirra.
Grumio mum: God ſaue you ſignior Gremio.
Beloued of me, and that my deeds ſhal proue.
And that his bags ſhal proue.
No, ſayſt me ſo, friend? What Countreyman?
Will I liue?
Wil he woo her? I: or Ile hang her.
For he feares none.
And ſo we wil, prouided that he win her.
I would I were as ſure of a good dinner.
He that ha's the two faire daughters: iſt he you meane?
Euen he Biondello.
Hearke you ſir, you meane not her to —
Perhaps him and her ſir, what haue you to do?
Not her that chides ſir, at any hand I pray.
I loue no chiders ſir: Biondello, let's away.
Well begun Tranio.
And if I be ſir, is it any offence?
No: if without more words you will get you hence.
But ſo is not ſhe.
For what reaſon I beſeech you.
That ſhe's the choſen of ſignior Hortenſio.
What, this Gentleman will out-talke vs all.
Sir giue him head, I know hee'l proue a Iade.
Hortenſio, to what end are all theſe words?
Sir, ſir, the firſt's for me, let her go by.
Oh excellent motion: fellowes let's be gon.
Minion thou lyeſt: Is't not Hortenſio?
If that be ieſt, then all the reſt was ſo.
Her ſilence flouts me, and Ile be reueng'd.
What in my ſight? Bianca get thee in.
Good morrow neighbour Baptiſta.
Good morrow neighbour Gremio: God ſaue you Gentlemen.
And you good ſir: pray haue you not a daughKaterina, faire and vertuous.
I haue a daughter ſir, cal'd Katerina.
You are too blunt, go to it orderly.
I know him well: you are welcome for his ſake.
Sauing your tale Petruchio, I pray let vs that are poore petitioners ſpeake too? Bacare, you are meruay
Oh, Pardon me ſignior Gremio, I would faine be doing.
Lucentio is your name, of whence I pray.
Of Piſa ſir, ſonne to Vincentio.
How now my friend, why doſt thou looke ſo pale?
For feare I promiſe you, if I looke pale.
What, will my daughter proue a good Muſiti
Why then thou canſt not break her to the Lute?
Why, what's a mouable?
A ioyn'd ſtoole.
Thou haſt hit it: come ſit on me.
Aſſes are made to beare, and ſo are you.
Women are made to beare, and ſo are you.
No ſuch Iade as you, if me you meane.
Shold be, ſhould: buzze.
Well tane, and like a buzzard.
Oh ſlow-wing'd Turtle, ſhal a buzard take thee?
I for a Turtle, as he takes a buzard.
Come, come you Waſpe, y' faith you are too angrie.
If I be waſpiſh, beſt beware my ſting.
My remedy is then to plucke it out.
I, if the foole could finde it where it lies.
Who knowes not where a Waſpe does, weare his ſting? In his taile.
In his tongue?
Whoſe tongue.
Yours if you talke of tales, and ſo farewell.
That Ile trie.
I ſweare Ile cuffe you, if you ſtrike againe.
A Herald Kate? Oh put me in thy bookes.
What is your Creſt, a Coxcombe?
A combleſſe Cocke, ſo Kate will be my Hen.
No Cocke of mine, you crow too like a crauen
Nay come Kate, come: you muſt not looke ſo ſowre.
It is my faſhion when I ſee a Crab.
Why heere's no crab, and therefore looke not ſowre.
There is, there is.
Then ſhew it me.
Had I a glaſſe, I would.
What, you meane my face.
Well aym'd of ſuch a yong one.
Now by S. George I am too yong for you.
Yet you are wither'd.
'Tis with cares.
I care not.
Nay heare you Kate. Inſooth you ſcape not ſo.
I chafe you if I tarrie. Let me go.
Go foole, and whom thou keep'ſt command.
Where did you ſtudy all this goodly ſpeech?
It is extempore, from my mother wit.
A witty mother, witleſſe elſe her ſonne.
Am I not wiſe?
Yes, keepe you warme.
Now Signior Petruchio, how ſpeed you with my daughter?
Why how now daughter Katherine, in your dumps?
Ile ſee thee hang'd on ſonday firſt.
Hark Petruchio, ſhe ſaies ſhee'll ſee thee hang'd firſt.
Is this your ſpeeding? nay the
Tra. Amen ſay we, we will be witneſſes.
Was euer match clapt vp ſo ſodainly?
The gaine I ſeeke, is quiet me the match.
Yongling thou canſt not loue ſo deare as I.
Gray-beard thy loue doth freeze.
But youth in Ladies eyes that floriſheth.
That's but a cauill: he is olde, I young.
And may not yong men die as well as old?
Sirra, I will not beare theſe braues of thine.
You'll leaue his Lecture when I am in tune?
That will be neuer, tune your inſtrument.
Where left we laſt?
Heere Madam: Hic Ibat Simois, hic eſt ſigeria tellus, hic ſteterat Priamiregia Celſa ſenis.
Conſter them.
Hic Ibat, as I told you before. Simois, I am Luhic eſt, ſonne vnto Vincentio of Piſa, Sigeriatellus, diſguiſed thus to get your loue,
Madam, my Inſtrument's in tune.
Let's heare, oh fie, the treble iarres.
Spit in the hole man, and tune againe.
Now let mee ſee if I can conſter it. Hic ibat ſimois, I know you not,
Madam, tis now in tune.
All but the baſe.
The baſe is right, 'tis the baſe knaue that iars.
Why, I am paſt my gamouth long agoe.
Yet read the gamouth of Hortentio.
Farewell ſweet maſters both, I muſt be gone.
Faith Miſtreſſe then I haue no cauſe to ſtay.
Would Katherine had neuer ſeen him though.
Maſter, maſter, newes, and ſuch newes as you neuer heard of,
Is it new and olde too? how may that be?
Why, is it not newes to heard of Petruchio's comming?
Is he come?
Why no ſir.
What then?
He is comming.
When will he be heere?
When he ſtands where I am, and ſees you there.
But ſay, what to thine olde newes?
Why Petruchio is comming, in a new hat and an old ierkin, a paire of olde breeches thrice turn'd; a paire of bootes that haue beene candle-caſes, one buck
Who comes with him?
Oh ſir, his Lackey, for all the world Capari
I am glad he's come, howſoere he comes.
Why ſir, he comes not.
Didſt thou not ſay hee comes?
Who, that Petruchio came?
I, that Petruchio came.
No ſir, I ſay his horſe comes with him on his backe.
Why that's all one.
Nay by S. Iamy, I hold you a penny, a horſe and a man is more then one, and yet not many.
Come, where be theſe gallants? who's at home?
You are welcome ſir.
And yet I come not well.
And yet you halt not.
Not ſo well apparell'd as I wiſh you were.
Not I, beleeue me, thus Ile viſit her.
But thus I truſt you will not marry her.
Ile after him, and ſee the euent of this.
As willingly as ere I came from ſchoole.
And is the Bride & Bridegroom coming home?
Curſter then ſhe, why 'tis impoſſible.
Why hee's a deuill, a deuill, a very fiend.
Why ſhe's a deuill, a deuill, the deuils damme.
What ſaid the wench when he roſe againe?
Trembled and ſhooke: for why, he ſtamp'd and ſwore, as if the Vicar meant to cozen him: but after ma
Is't poſſible you will away to night?
Let vs intreat you ſtay till after dinner.
It may not be.
Let me intreat you.
It cannot be.
Let me intreat you.
I am content.
Are you content to ſtay?
Now if you loue me ſtay.
Grumio, my horſe.
I ſir, they be ready, the Oates haue eaten the horſes.
O Kate content thee, prethee be not angry.
I marry ſir, now it begins to worke.
Nay, let them goe, a couple of quiet ones.
Went they not quickly, I ſhould die with laugh
Of all mad matches neuer was the like.
Miſtreſſe, what is your opinion of your ſiſter?
That being mad her ſelfe, ſhe's madly mated.
I warrant him Petruchio is Kated.
Shall ſweet Bianca practiſe how to bride it?
She ſhall Lucentio: come gentlemen lets goe.
Fie, fie on all tired Iades, on all mad Maſters, & all foule waies: was euer man ſo beaten? was euer man ſo raide? was euer man ſo weary? I am ſent before to make a fire, and they are comming after to warme them: now were not I a little pot, & ſoone hot; my very lippes might freeze to my teeth, my tongue to the roofe of my mouth, my heart in my belly, ere I ſhould come by a fire to thaw me, but I with blowing the fire ſhall warme my ſelfe: for conſidering the weather, a taller man then I will take cold: Holla, hoa Curtis.
Who is that calls ſo coldly?
A piece of Ice: if thou doubt it, thou maiſt ſlide from my ſhoulder to my heele, with no
Curtis.
Is my maſter and his wife comming Grumio?
Oh I Curtis I, and therefore fire, fire, caſt on no water.
Is ſhe ſo hot a ſhrew as ſhe's reported.
She was good Curtis before this froſt: but thou know'ſt winter tames man, woman, and beaſt: for it hath tam'd my old maſter, and my new miſtris, and my ſelfe fellow Curtis.
Away you three inch foole, I am no beaſt.
Am I but three inches? Why thy horne is a foot and ſo long am I at the leaſt. But wilt thou make a fire, or ſhall I complaine on thee to our miſtris, whoſe hand (ſhe being now at hand) thou ſhalt ſoone feele, to thy cold comfort, for being ſlow in thy hot office.
I prethee good Grumio, tell me, how goes the world?
A cold world Curtis in euery office but thine, & therefore fire: do thy duty, and haue thy dutie, for my Maſter and miſtris are almoſt frozen to death.
There's fire readie, and therefore good Grumio the newes.
Why Iacke boy, ho boy, and as much newes as wilt thou.
Come, you are ſo full of conicatching.
Why therefore fire, for I haue caught extreme cold. Where's the Cooke, is ſupper ready, the houſe trim'd, ruſhes ſtrew'd, cobwebs ſwept, the ſeruingmen in their new fuſtian, the white ſtockings, and euery offi
All readie: and therefore I pray thee newes.
Firſt know my horſe is tired, my maſter & mi
How?
Out of their ſaddles into the durt, and thereby hangs a tale.
Let's ha't good Grumio.
Lend thine eare.
Heere.
There.
This 'tis to feele a tale, not to heare a tale.
And therefore 'tis cal'd a ſenſible tale: and this Cuffe was but to knocke at your eare, and beſeech liſt
Both of one horſe?
What's that to thee?
Why a horſe.
Tell thou the tale: but hadſt thou not croſt me, thou ſhouldſt haue heard how her horſe fel, and ſhe vn
By this reckning he is more ſhrew than ſhe.
I, and that thou and the proudeſt of you all ſhall finde when he comes home. But what talke I of this? Call forth Nathaniel, Ioſeph, Nicholas, Phillip, Walter, Sugerſop and the reſt: let their heads bee ſlickely comb'd, their blew coats bruſh'd, and their garters of an indiffe
They are.
Call them forth.
Do you heare ho? you muſt meete my maiſter to countenance my miſtris.
Why ſhe hath a face of her owne.
Who knowes not that?
Thou it ſeemes, that cals for company to coun
I call them forth to credit her.
Why ſhe comes to borrow nothing of them.
Welcome home Grumio.
How now Grumio.
What Grumio.
Fellow Grumio.
How now old lad.
Welcome you: how now you: what you: fel
All things is readie, how neere is our maſter?
E'ne at hand, alighted by this: and therefore be not—Cockes paſſion, ſilence, I heare my maſter.
Heere, heere ſir, heere ſir.
Heere ſir, as fooliſh as I was before.
Patience I pray you, 'twas a fault vnwilling.
I.
Who brought it?
I.
Peter didſt euer ſee the like.
He kils her in her owne humor.
Where is he?
In her chamber, making a ſermon of continen
Now Miſtris, profit you in what you reade?
What Maſter reade you firſt, reſolue me that?
I reade, that I profeſſe the Art to loue.
And may you proue ſir Maſter of your Art.
While you ſweet deere ptoue Miſtreſſe of my heart.
Quicke proceeders marry, now tel me I pray, you that durſt ſweare that your miſtris Bianca Lou'd me in the World ſo wel as Lucentio.
Tranio you ieſt, but haue you both forſworne mee?
Miſtris we haue.
Then we are rid of Liſio.
God giue him ioy.
I, and hee'l tame her.
He ſayes ſo Tranio.
Faith he is gone vnto the taming ſchoole.
The taming ſchoole: what is there ſuch a place?
What is he Biondello?
And what of him Tranio?
Take me your loue, and then let me alone.
God ſaue you ſir.
What Countreyman I pray?
Of Mantua.
My life ſir? how I pray? for that goes hard.
Among them know you one Vincentio?
As much as an apple doth an oyſter, & all one.
No, no forſooth I dare not for my life.
What ſay you to a Neats foote?
'Tis paſsing good, I prethee let me haue it.
I like it well, good Grumio fetch it me.
A diſh that I do loue to feede vpon.
I, but the Muſtard is too hot a little.
Why then the Beefe, and let the Muſtard reſt.
Then both or one, or any thing thou wilt.
Why then the Muſtard without the beefe.
How fares my Kate, what ſweeting all a-mort?
Miſtris, what cheere?
Faith as cold as can be.
I pray you let it ſtand.
I thanke you ſir.
Heere is the cap your Worſhip did beſpeake.
That will not be in haſt.
I ſee ſhees like to haue neither cap nor gowne.
Why true, he meanes to make a puppet of thee.
She ſaies your Worſhip meanes to make a puppet of her.
I gaue him no order, I gaue him the ſtuffe.
But how did you deſire it ſhould be made?
Marrie ſir with needle and thred.
But did you not requeſt to haue it cut?
Thou haſt fac'd many things.
I haue.
Face not mee: thou haſt brau'd manie men, braue not me; I will neither bee fac'd nor brau'd. I ſay vnto thee, I bid thy Maſter cut out the gowne, but I did not bid him cut it to peeces. Ergo thou lieſt.
Why heere is the note of the faſhion to teſtify.
Reade it.
The note lies in's throate if he ſay I ſaid ſo.
Inprimis, a looſe bodied gowne.
Maſter, if euer I ſaid looſe-bodied gowne, ſow me in the skirts of it, and beate me to death with a bot
Proceede.
With a ſmall compaſt cape.
I confeſſe the cape.
With a trunke ſleeue.
I confeſſe two ſleeues.
The ſleeues curiouſly cut.
I there's the villanie.
Error i' th bill ſir, error i' th bill? I commanded the ſleeues ſhould be cut out, and ſow'd vp againe, and that Ile proue vpon thee, though thy little finger be ar
This is true that I ſay, and I had thee in place where thou ſhouldſt know it.
I am for thee ſtraight: take thou the bill, giue me thy meat-yard, and ſpare not me.
God-a-mercie Grumio, then hee ſhall haue no oddes.
Well ſir in breefe the gowne is not for me.
You are i' th right ſir, 'tis for my miſtris.
Go take it vp vnto thy maſters vſe.
Villaine, not for thy life: Take vp my Miſtreſſe gowne for thy maſters vſe.
Why ſir, what's your conceit in that?
Why ſo this gallant will command the ſunne.
Sirs, this is the houſe, pleaſe it you that I call.
Tut, feare not me.
But haſt thou done thy errand to Baptiſta.
I praie the gods ſhe may withall my heart.
I follow you.
Cambio.
What ſaiſt thou Biondello.
You ſaw my Maſter winke and laugh vpon you?
Biondello, what of that?
Faith nothing: but has left mee here behinde to expound the meaning or morrall of his ſignes and to
I pray thee moralize them.
Then thus: Baptiſta is ſafe talking with the deceiuing Father of a deceitfull ſonne.
And what of him?
His daughter is to be brought by you to the ſupper.
And then.
The old Prieſt at Saint Lukes Church is at your command at all houres.
And what of all this.
I cannot tell, expect they are buſied about a counterfeit aſſurance: take you aſſurance of her, Cum preuilegio ad Impremendum ſolem, to th' Church take the Prieſt, Clarke, and ſome ſufficient honeſt witneſſes:
Hear'ſt thou Biondello.
I cannot tarry: I knew a wench maried in an afternoone as ſhee went to the Garden for Parſeley to ſtuffe a Rabit, and ſo may you ſir: and ſo adew ſir, my Maſter hath appointed me to goe to Saint Lukes to bid the Prieſt be readie to come againſt you come with your appendix.
The Moone, the Sunne: it is not Moonelight now.
I ſay it is the Moone that ſhines ſo bright.
I know it is the Sunne that ſhines ſo bright.
Say as he ſaies, or we ſhall neuer goe.
I ſay it is the Moone.
I know it is the Moone.
Nay then you lye: it is the bleſſed Sunne.
Petruchio, goe thy waies, the field is won.
A will make the man mad to make the woman of him.
What is his name?
Lucentio gentle ſir.
I doe aſſure thee father ſo it is.
Softly and ſwiftly ſir, for the Prieſt is ready.
I flie Biondello; but they may chance to neede thee at home, therefore leaue vs.
Nay faith, Ile ſee the Church a your backe, and then come backe to my miſtris as ſoone as I can.
I maruaile Cambio comes not all this while.
They're buſie within, you were beſt knocke lowder.
What's he that knockes as he would beat downe the gate?
Is Signior Lucentio within ſir?
He's within ſir, but not to be ſpoken withall.
What if a man bring him a hundred pound or two to make merrie withall.
Keepe your hundred pounds to your ſelfe, hee ſhall neede none ſo long as I liue.
Nay, I told you your ſonne was well beloued in Padua: doe you heare ſir, to leaue friuolous circumſtanLucentio that his Father is come from Piſa, and is here at the doore to ſpeake with him.
Thou lieſt his Father is come from Padua, and here looking out at the window.
Art thou his father?
I ſir, ſo his mother ſaies, if I may beleeue her.
Why how now gentleman: why this is flat kna
Lay hands on the villaine, I beleeue a meanes to coſen ſome bodie in this Citie vnder my countenance.
I haue ſeene them in the Church together, God ſend'em good ſhipping: but who is here? mine old Ma
Ʋincentio: now wee are vndone and brough to no
Come hither crackhempe.
I hope I may chooſe Sir.
Come hither you rogue, what haue you forgot mee?
Forgot you, no ſir: I could not forget you, for I neuer ſaw you before in all my life.
What, you notorious villaine, didſt thou neuer ſee thy Miſtris father, Vincentio?
What my old worſhipfull old maſter? yes marie ſir ſee where he lookes out of the window.
Iſt ſo indeede.
Helpe, helpe, helpe, here's a mad man will mur
Helpe, ſonne, helpe ſignior Baptiſta.
Pree the Kate let's ſtand aſide and ſee the end of this controuerſie.
Sir, what are you that offer to beate my ſer
What am I ſir: nay what are you ſir: oh immor
How now, what's the matter?
What is the man lunaticke?
Sir, you ſeeme a ſober ancient Gentleman by your habit: but your words ſhew you a mad man: why ſir, what cernes it you, if I weare Pearle and gold: I thank my good Father, I am able to maintaine it.
Thy father: oh villaine, he is a Saile-maker in Bergamo.
You miſtake ſir, you miſtake ſir, praie what do you thinke is his name?
His name, as if I knew not his name: I haue brought him vp euer ſince he was three yeeres old, and his name is Tronio.
Awaie, awaie mad aſſe, his name is Lucentio, and he is mine onelie ſonne and heire to the Lands of me ſigVincentio.
Lucentio: oh he hath murdred his Maſter; laie hold on him I charge you in the Dukes name: oh my ſonne, my ſonne: tell me thou villaine, where is my ſon Lucentio?
Call forth an officer: Carrie this mad knaue to the Iaile: father Baptiſta, I charge you ſee that hee be forth comming.
Carrie me to the Iaile?
Staie officer, he ſhall not go to priſon.
Talke not ſignior Gremio: I ſaie he ſhall goe to priſon.
Take heede ſignior Baptiſta, leaſt you be coniVincentio.
Sweare if thou dar'ſt.
Naie, I dare not ſweare it.
Then thou wert beſt ſaie that I am not Lucentio.
Yes, I know thee to be ſignior Lucentio.
Awaie with the dotard, to the Iaile with him.
Thus ſtrangers may be haild and abuſd: oh mon
Oh we are ſpoil'd, and yonder he is, denie him, forſweare him, or elſe we are all vndone.
Pardon ſweete father.
Liues my ſweete ſonne?
Pardon deere father.
How haſt thou offended, where is Lucentio?
Here's packing with a witneſſe to deceiue vs all.
Why, tell me is not this my Cambio?
Cambio is chang'd into Lucentio.
Ile ſlit the villaines noſe that would haue ſent me to the Iaile.
But doe you heare ſir, haue you married my daughter without asking my good will?
Feare not Baptiſta, we will content you, goe to: but I will in to be reueng'd for this villanie.
And I to ſound the depth of this knauerie.
Looke not pale Bianca, thy father will not frown.
Husband let's follow, to ſee the end of this adoe.
Firſt kiſſe me Kate, and we will.
What in the midſt of the ſtreete?
What art thou aſham'd of me?
Mo ſir, God forbid, but aſham'd to kiſſe.
Why then let's home againe: Come Sirra let's awaie.
Nay, I will giue thee a kiſſe, now praie thee Loue ſtaie.
Nothing but ſit and ſit, and eate and eate.
Padua affords this kindneſſe, ſonne Petruchio.
Padua affords nothing but what is kinde.
For both our ſakes I would that word were true.
Now for my life Hortentio feares his Widow.
Then neuer truſt me if I be affeard.
He that is giddie thinks the world turns round.
Roundlie replied.
Miſtris, how meane you that?
Thus I conceiue by him.
Conceiues by me, how likes Hortentio that?
My Widdow ſaies, thus ſhe conceiues her tale.
Verie well mended: kiſſe him for that good Widdow.
A verie meane meaning.
Right, I meane you.
And I am meane indeede, reſpecting you.
To her Kate.
To her Widdow.
A hundred marks, my Kate does put her down.
That's my office
Spoke like an Officer: ha to the lad.
How likes Cremio theſe quicke witted folkes?
Beleeue me ſir, they But together well.
I Miſtris Bride, hath that awakened you?
I, but not frighted me, therefore Ile ſleepe a
A good ſwift ſimile, but ſomething curriſh.
Oh, oh Petruchio, Tranio hits you now.
I thanke thee for that gird good Tranio.
Confeſſe, confeſſe, hath he not hit you here?
Content, what's the wager?
Twentie crownes.
A hundred then.
Content.
A match, 'tis done.
Who ſhall begin?
Igoe.
Sonne, Ile be your halfe, Bianca comes.
How? ſhe's buſie, and ſhe cannot come: is that an anſwere?
I hope better.
Sirra Biondello, goe and intreate my wife to come to me forthwith.
Oh ho, intreate her, nay then ſhee muſt needes come.
I am affraid ſir, doe what you can
I know her anſwere.
What?
She will not.
The fouler fortune mine, and there an end.
Now by my hollidam here comes Katerina.
What is your will ſir, that you ſend for me?
Where is your ſiſter, and Hortenſios wife?
They ſit conferring by the Parler fire.
Here is a wonder, if you talke of a wonder.
And ſo it is: I wonder what it boads.
Fie what a fooliſh dutie call you this?
The more foole you for laying on my dutie.
Katherine I charge thee tell theſe head-ſtrong women, what dutie they doe owe their Lords and huſ
Come, come, your mocking: we will haue no telling.
Come on I ſay, and firſt begin with her.
She ſhall not.
I ſay ſhe ſhall, and firſt begin with her.
Why there's a wench: Come on, and kiſſe mee Kate.
Well go thy waies olde Lad for thou ſhalt ha't.
Tis a good hearing, when children are toward.
But a harſh hearing, when women are froward,
Now goe thy wayes, thou haſt tam'd a curſt Shrow.
Tis a wonder, by your leaue, ſhe wil be tam'd ſo.
And I in going Madam, weep ore my fathers death anew; but I muſt attend his maie
You ſhall find of the King a husband Madame, you ſir a father. He that ſo generally is at all times good, muſt of neceſſitie hold his vertue to you, whoſe worthi
What hope is there of his Maieſties amendment?
He hath abandon'd his Phiſitions Madam, vn
This yong Gentlewoman had a father, O that had, how ſad a paſſage tis, whoſe skill was almoſt as great as his honeſtie, had it ſtretch'd ſo far, would haue made nature immortall, and death ſhould haue play for lacke of worke. Would for the Kings ſake hee were li
How call'd you the man you ſpeake of Madam?
He was famous ſir in his profeſſion, and it was his great right to be ſo: Gerard de Narbon.
He was excellent indeed Madam, the King very latelie ſpoke of him admiringly, and mourningly: hee was skilfull enough to haue liu'd ſtil, if knowledge could be ſet vp againſt mortallitie.
What is it (my good Lord) the King languiſhes of?
A Fiſtula my Lord.
I heard not of it before.
I would it were not notorious. Was this GenGerard de Narbon?
His ſole childe my Lord, and bequeathed to my ouer looking. I haue thoſe hopes of her good, that her education promiſes her diſpoſitions ſhee inherits, which makes faire gifts fairer: for where an vncleane mind car
Your commendations Madam get from her teares.
'Tis the beſt brine a Maiden can ſeaſon her praiſe in. The remembrance of her father neuer approches her heart, but the tirrany of her ſorrowes takes all liuelihood from her cheeke. No more of this Helena, go too, no more leaſt it be rather thought you affect a ſorrow, then to haue—
I doe affect a ſorrow indeed, but I haue it too.
Moderate lamentation is the right of the dead, exceſſiue greefe the enemie to the liuing.
If the liuing be enemie to the greefe, the exceſſe makes it ſoone mortall.
Maddam I deſire your holie wiſhes.
How vnderſtand we that?
Heauen bleſſe him: Farwell Bertram.
The beſt wiſhes that can be forg'd in your thoghts be ſeruants to you: be comfortable to my mother, your Miſtris, and make much of her.
Farewell prettie Lady, you muſt hold the cre
Saue you faire Queene.
And you Monarch.
No.
And no.
Are you meditating on virginitie?
If you haue ſome ſtaine of ſouldier in you: Let mee aske you a queſtion. Man is enemie to virginitie, how may we barracado it againſt him?
Keepe him out.
But he aſſailes, and our virginitie though vali
There is none: Man ſetting downe before you, will vndermine you, and blow you vp.
Bleſſe our poore Virginity from vnderminers and blowers vp. Is there no Military policy how Vir
Virginity beeing blowne downe, Man will quicklier be blowne vp: marry in blowing him downe againe, with the breach your ſelues made, you loſe your Citty. It is not politicke, in the Common-wealth of Nature, to preſerue virginity. Loſſe of Virginitie, is rationall encreaſe, and there was neuer Virgin goe, till virginitie was firſt loſt. That you were made of, is met
I will ſtand for't a little, though therefore I die a Virgin.
There's little can bee ſaide in't, 'tis againſt the rule of Nature. To ſpeake on the part of virginitie, is to accuſe your Mothers; which is moſt infallible diſo
How might one do ſir, to looſe it to her owne liking?
Let mee ſee. Marry ill, to like him that ne're it likes. 'Tis a commodity wil loſe the gloſſe with lying: The longer kept, the leſſe worth: Off with't while 'tis vendible. Anſwer the time of requeſt, Virginitie like an olde Courtier, weares her cap out of faſhion, richly ſuted, but vnſuteable, iuſt like the brooch & the tooth
What one ifaith?
That I wiſh well, 'tis pitty.
What's pitty?
Little Hellen farewell, if I can remember thee, I will thinke of thee at Court.
Monſieur Parolles, you were borne vnder a charitable ſtarre.
Vnder Mars I.
I eſpecially thinke, vnder Mars.
Why vnder Mars?
The warres hath ſo kept you vnder, that you muſt needes be borne vnder Mars.
When he was predominant.
When he was retrograde I thinke rather.
Why thinke you ſo?
You go ſo much backward when you fight.
That's for aduantage.
But the compoſition that your valour and feare makes in you, is a vertue of a good wing, and I like the weare well.
I am ſo full of buſineſſes, I cannot anſwere thee acutely: I will returne perfect Courtier, in the which my inſtruction ſhall ſerue to naturalize thee, ſo thou wilt be capeable of a Courtiers councell, and vn
So tis reported ſir.
What's he comes heere.
My thankes and dutie are your Maieſties.
Some ſix moneths ſince my Lord.
Thanke your Maieſty.
I will now heare, what ſay you of this gentle
Maddam the care I haue had to euen your con
What doe's this knaue heere? Get you gone ſirra: the complaints I haue heard of you I do not all be
'Tis not vnknown to you Madam, I am a poore fellow.
Well ſir.
Wilt thou needes be a begger?
I doe beg your good will in this caſe.
In what caſe?
In Isbels caſe and mine owne: ſeruice is no heri
Tell me thy reaſon why thou wilt marrie?
My poore bodie Madam requires it, I am driuen onby the fleſh, and hee muſt needes goe that the diuell driues.
Is this all your worſhips reaſon?
Faith Madam I haue other holie reaſons, ſuch as they are.
May the world know them?
I haue beene Madam a wicked creature, as you and all fleſh and blood are, and indeede I doe marrie that I may repent.
Thy marriage ſooner then thy wickedneſſe.
I am out a friends Madam, and I hope to haue friends for my wiues ſake.
Such friends are thine enemies knaue.
Y' are ſhallow Madam in great friends, for the knaues come to doe that for me which I am a wearie of: he that eres my Land, ſpares my teame, and giues mee leaue to Inne the crop: if I be his cuckold hee's my drudge; he that comforts my wife, is the cheriſher of my fleſh and blood; hee that cheriſhes my fleſh and blood, loues my fleſh and blood; he that loues my fleſh and blood is my friend: ergo, he that kiſſes my wife is my friend: if men could be contented to be what they are, there were no feare in marriage, for yong Charbon the Puritan, and old Poyſam the Papiſt, how ſomere their hearts are ſeuer'd in Religion, their heads are both one, they may ioule horns together like any Deare i' th Herd.
Wilt thou euer be a foule mouth'd and calum
A Prophet I Madam, and I ſpeake the truth the next waie, for I the Ballad will repeate, which men full true ſhall finde, your marriage comes by deſtinie, your Cuckow ſings by kinde.
Get you gone ſir, Ile talke with you more anon.
May it pleaſe you Madam, that hee bid Hellen come to you, of her I am to ſpeake.
Sirra tell my gentlewoman I would ſpeake with her, Hellen I meane.
And gaue this ſentence then, among nine bad if one be good, among nine bad if one be good, there's yet one good in ten.
What, one good in tenne? you corrupt the ſong ſirra.
One good woman in ten Madam, which is a pu
Youle begone ſir knaue
That man ſhould be at womans command, and yet no hurt done, though honeſtie be no Puritan, yet it will doe no hurt, it will weare the Surplis of humilitie ouer the blacke-Gowne of a bigge heart: I am goHelen to come hither.
Well now.
I know Madam you loue your Gentlewoman intirely.
Faith I doe: her Father bequeath'd her to mee, and ſhe her ſelfe without other aduantage, may lawful
Madam, I was verie late more neere her then I thinke ſhee wiſht mee, alone ſhee was, and did communicate to her ſelfe her owne words to her owne eares, ſhee thought, I dare vowe for her, they toucht not anie ſtranger ſence, her matter was, ſhee loued your Sonne; Fortune ſhee ſaid was no god
You haue diſcharg'd this honeſtlie, keepe it to your ſelfe, manie likelihoods inform'd mee of this before, which hung ſo tottring in the ballance, that I could neither beleeue nor miſdoubt: praie you leaue mee, ſtall this in your boſome, and I thanke you for your honeſt care: I will ſpeake with you fur
What is your pleaſure Madam?
You know Hellen I am a mother to you.
Mine honorable Miſtris.
That I am not.
I ſay I am your Mother.
Nor I your Mother.
Good Madam pardon me.
Do you loue my Sonne?
Your pardon noble Miſtris.
Loue you my Sonne?
Doe not you loue him Madam?
Madam I had.
Wherefore? tell true.
This was your motiue for Paris, was it, ſpeake?
Doo'ſt thou beleeue't?
I Madam knowingly.
Health at your bidding ſerue your Maieſty.
Our hearts receiue your warnings.
Farewell, come hether to me.
Oh my ſweet Lord yt you wil ſtay behind vs.
'Tis not his fault the ſpark.
Oh 'tis braue warres.
Moſt admirable, I haue ſeene thoſe warres.
There's honour in the theft.
Commit it Count.
I am your acceſſary, and ſo farewell.
I grow to you, & our parting is a tortur'd body.
Farewll Captaine.
Sweet Mounſier Parolles.
Noble Heroes; my ſword and yours are kinne, good ſparkes and luſtrous, a word good mettals. You ſhall finde in the Regiment of the Spinij, one Captaine Spurio his ſicatrice, with an Embleme of warre heere on his ſiniſter cheeke; it was this very ſword entrench'd it: ſay to him I liue, and obſerue his reports for me.
We ſhall noble Captaine.
Mars doate on you for his nouices, what will ye doe?
Stay the King.
Vſe a more ſpacious ceremonie to the Noble Lords, you haue reſtrain'd your ſelfe within the Liſt of too cold an adieu: be more expreſſiue to them; for they weare themſelues in the cap of the time, there do muſter true gate; eat, ſpeake, and moue vnder the influence of the moſt receiu'd ſtarre, and though the deuill leade the meaſure, ſuch are to be followed: after them, and take a more dilated farewell.
And I will doe ſo.
Worthy fellowes, and like to prooue moſt ſi
Pardon my Lord for mee and for my tidings.
Ile ſee thee to ſtand vp.
No.
What her is this?
Thus he his ſpeciall nothing euer prologues.
Nay, come your waies.
This haſte hath wings indeed.
Now faire one, do's your buſines follow vs?
I knew him.
Make thy demand.
But will you make it euen?
I by my Scepter, and my hopes of helpe.
Come on ſir, I ſhall now put you to the height of your breeding.
I will ſhew my ſelfe highly fed, and lowly taught, I know my buſineſſe is but to the Court.
To the Court, why what place make you ſpe
Truly Madam, if God haue lent a man any man
Marry that's a bountifull anſwere that fits all queſtions.
It is like a Barbers chaire that fits all buttockes, the pin buttocke, the quatch-buttocke, the brawn but
Will your anſwere ſerue fit to all queſtions?
As fit as ten groats is for the hand of an AtturTibs ruſh for Toms fore-finger, as a pancake for Shroue-tueſday, a Morris for May-day, as the naile to his hole, the Cuckold to his horne, as a ſcolding queane to a wrangling knaue, as the Nuns lip to the Friers mouth, nay as the pudding to his skin.
Haue you, I ſay, an anſwere of ſuch fitneſſe for all queſtions?
From below your Duke, to beneath your Con
It muſt be an anſwere of moſt monſtrous ſize, that muſt fit all demands.
But a triflle neither in good faith, if the learned ſhould ſpeake truth of it: heere it is, and all that belongs to't. Aske mee if I am a Courtier, it ſhall doe you no harme to learne.
To be young againe if we could: I will bee a foole in queſtion, hoping to bee the wiſer by your an
I pray you ſir, are you a Courtier?
O Lord ſir theres a ſimple putting off: more, more, a hundred of them.
Sir I am a poore freind of yours, that loues you.
O Lord ſir, thicke, thicke, ſpare not me.
I thinke ſir, you can eate none of this homely meate.
O Lord ſir; nay put me too't, I warrant you.
You were lately whipt ſir as I thinke.
O Lord ſir, ſpare not me.
Doe you crie O Lord ſir at your whipping, and ſpare not me? Indeed your O Lord ſir, is very ſequent to your whipping: you would anſwere very well to a whipping if you were but bound too't.
I nere had worſe lucke in my life in my O Lord ſir: I ſee things may ſerue long, but not ſerue euer.
I play the noble huſwife with the time, to enter
O Lord ſir, why there't ſerues well agen.
Not much commendation to them.
Not much imployement for you, you vnder
Moſt fruitfully, I am there, before my legegs.
Haſt you agen.
They ſay miracles are paſt, and we haue our Philoſophicall perſons, to make moderne and familiar things ſupernaturall and cauſeleſſe. Hence is it, that we make trifles of terrours, enſconcing our ſelues into ſee
Why 'tis the rareſt argument of wonder, that hath ſhot out in our latter times.
And ſo 'tis.
To be relinquiſht of the Artiſts.
So I ſay both of Galen and Paracelſus.
Of all the learned and authenticke fellowes.
Right ſo I ſay.
That gaue him out incureable.
Why there 'tis, ſo ſay I too.
Not to be help'd.
Right, as 'twere a man aſſur'd of a—
Vncertaine life, and ſure death.
Iuſt, you ſay well: ſo would I haue ſaid.
I may truly ſay, it is a noueltie to the world.
It is indeede if you will haue it in ſhewing, you ſhall reade it in what do ye call there.
A ſhewing of a heauenly effect in an earth
That's it, I would haue ſaid, the verie ſame.
Nay 'tis ſtrange, 'tis very ſtraunge, that is the breefe and the tedious of it, and he's of a moſt facineri
Very hand of heauen.
I, ſo I ſay.
In a moſt weake—
And debile miniſter great power, grear tran
Generally thankfull.
I would haue ſaid it, you ſay well: heere comes the King.
Luſtique, as the Dutchman ſaies: Ile like a maide the Better whil'ſt I haue a tooth in my head: why he's able to leade her a Carranto.
Mor du vinager, is not this Helen?
Fore God I thinke ſo.
Gentlemen, heauen hath through me, reſtor'd the king to health.
We vnderſtand it, and thanke heauen for you.
And grant it.
Thankes ſir, all the reſt is mute.
I had rather be in this choiſe, then throw Ameſ-ace for my life.
No better if you pleaſe.
Do all they denie her? And they were ſons of mine, I'de haue them whip'd, or I would ſend them to 'th Turke to make Eunuches of.
Theſe boyes are boyes of Ice, they'le none
Faire one, I thinke not ſo.
There's one grape yet, I am ſure thy father drunke wine. But if thou beſt not an aſſe, I am a youth of fourteene: I haue knowne thee already.
Why then young Bertram take her ſhee's thy wife.
Know'ſt thou not Bertram what ſhee ha's done for mee?
Yes my good Lord, but neuer hope to know why I ſhould marrie her.
Thou know'ſt ſhee ha's rais'd me from my ſick
I cannot loue her, nor will ſtriue to doo't.
Thou wrong'ſt thy ſelfe, if thou ſhold'ſt ſtriue to chooſe.
I take her hand.
Do you heare Monſieur? A word with you.
Your pleaſure ſir.
Your Lord and Maſter did well to make his re
Recantation? My Lord? my Maſter?
I: Is it not a Language I ſpeake?
A moſt harſh one, and not to bee vnderſtoode without bloudie ſucceeding My Maſter
Are you Companion to the Count Roſillion?
To any Count, to all Counts: to what is man.
To what is Counts man: Counts maiſter is of another ſtile.
You are too old ſir: Let it ſatisfie you, you are too old.
I muſt tell thee ſirrah, I write Man: to which title age cannot bring thee.
What I dare too well do, I dare not do.
I did thinke thee for two ordinaries: to bee a prettie wiſe fellow, thou didſt make tollerable vent of thy trauell, it might paſſe: yet the ſcarffes and the ban
Hadſt thou not the priuiledge of Antiquity vp
Do not plundge thy ſelfe to farre in anger, leaſt thou haſten thy triall: which if, Lord haue mercie on thee for a hen, ſo my good window of Lettice fare thee well, thy caſement I neede not open, for I look through thee. Giue me thy hand.
My Lord, you giue me moſt egregious indignity.
I with all my heart, and thou art worthy of it.
I haue not my Lord deſeru'd it.
Yes good faith, eu'ry dramme of it, and I will not b
Well, I ſhall be wiſer.
Eu'n as ſoone as thou can'ſt, for thou haſt to pull at a ſmacke a' th contrarie. If euer thou bee'ſt bound in thy skarfe and beaten, thou ſhall finde what it is to be proud of thy bondage, I haue a deſire to holde my ac
My Lord you do me moſt inſupportable vexati
I would it were hell paines for thy ſake, and my poore doing eternall: for doing I am paſt, as I will by thee, in what motion age will giue me leaue.
Well, thou haſt a ſonne ſhall take this diſgrace off me; ſcuruy, old, filthy, ſcuruy Lord: Well, I muſt be patient, there is no fettering of authority. Ile beate him (by my life) if I can meete him with any conueni
Sirra, your Lord and maſters married, there's newes for you: you haue a new Miſtris.
I moſt vnfainedly beſeech your Lordſhippe to make ſome reſeruation of your wrongs. He is my good Lord, whom I ſerue aboue is my maſter.
Who? God.
I ſir.
The deuill it is, that's thy maſter. Why dooeſt thou garter vp thy armes a this faſhion? Doſt make hoſe of thy ſleeues? Do other ſeruants ſo? Thou wert beſt ſet thy lower part where thy noſe ſtands. By mine Honor, If I were but two houres yonger, I'de beate thee: mee
This is hard and vndeſerued meaſure my Lord.
Go too ſir, you were beaten in Italy for picking a kernell out of a Pomgranat, you are a vagabond, and no true traueller: you are more ſawcie with Lordes and honourable perſonages, then the Commiſsion of your birth and vertue giues you Heraldry. You are not worth another word, elſe I'de call you knaue. I leaue you.
Good, very good, it is ſo then: good, very good, let it be conceal'd awhile.
Vndone, and forfeited to cares for euer.
What's the matter ſweet-heart?
Although before the ſolemne Prieſt I haue ſworne, I will not bed her.
What? what ſweet heart?
There's letters from my mother: What th' im
Will this Caprichio hold in thee, art ſure?
My mother greets me kindly, is ſhe well?
She is not well, but yet ſhe has her health, ſhe's very merrie, but yet ſhe is not well: but thankes be gi
If ſhe be verie wel, what do's ſhe ayle, that ſhe's not verie well?
Truly ſhe's very well indeed, but for two things
What two things?
One, that ſhe's not in heauen, whether God ſend her quickly: the other, that ſhe's in earth, from whence God ſend her quickly.
Bleſſe you my fortunate Ladie.
I hope ſir I haue your good will to haue mine owne good fortune.
You had my prayers to leade them on, and to keepe them on, haue them ſtill. O my knaue, how do's my old Ladie?
Why I ſay nothing.
Marry you are the wiſer man: for many a mans tongue ſhakes out his maſters vndoing: to ſay nothing, to do nothing, to know nothing, and to haue nothing, is to be a great part of your title, which is within a verie little of nothing.
Away, th' art a knaue.
You ſhould haue ſaid ſir before a knaue, th' art a knaue, that's before me th' art a knaue: this had beene truth ſir.
Go too, thou art a wittie foole, I haue found thee.
Did you finde me in your ſelfe ſir, or were you taught to finde me?
The ſearch ſir was profitable, and much Foole may you find in you, euen to the worlds pleaſure, and the encreaſe of laughter.
What's his will elſe?
What more commands hee?
In euery thing I waite vpon his will.
I ſhall report it ſo,
I pray you come ſirrah.
But I hope your Lordſhippe thinkes not him a ſouldier.
Yes my Lord and of verie valiant approofe.
You haue it from his owne deliuerance.
And by other warranted teſtimonie.
Then my Diall goes not true, I tooke this Larke for a bunting.
I do aſſure you my Lord he is very great in know
I haue then ſinn'd againſt his experience, and tranſgreſt againſt his valour, and my ſtate that way is dangerous, ſince I cannot yet find in my heart to repent: Heere he comes, I pray you make vs freinds, I will pur
Theſe things ſhall be done ſir.
Pray you ſir whoſe his Tailor?
Sir?
O I know him well, I ſir, hee ſirs a good worke
Is ſhee gone to the king?
Shee is.
Will ſhee away to night?
As you'le haue her.
A good Trauailer is ſomething at the latter end of a dinner, but on that lies three thirds, and vſes a known truth to paſſe a thouſand nothings with, ſhould bee once hard, and thrice beaten. God ſaue you Cap
Is there any vnkindnes betweene my Lord and you Monſieur?
I know not how I haue deſerued to run into my Lords diſpleaſure.
You haue made ſhift to run into't, bootes and ſpurres and all: like him that leapt into the Cuſtard, and out of it you'le runne againe, rather then ſuffer queſtion for your reſidence.
It may bee you haue miſtaken him my Lord.
And ſhall doe ſo euer, though I tooke him at's prayers. Fare you well my Lord, and beleeue this of me, there can be no kernell in this light Nut: the ſoule of this man is his cloathes: Truſt him not in matter of heauie conſequence: I haue kept of them tame, & know their natures. Farewell Monſieur, I haue ſpoken better of you, then you haue or will to deſerue at my hand, but we muſt do good againſt euill.
An idle Lord, I ſweare.
I thinke ſo.
Why do you not know him?
Come, come, no more of that.
Pray ſir your pardon.
Well, what would you ſay?
What would you haue?
I pray you ſtay not, but in haſt to horſe.
Brauely, Coragio.
Be it his pleaſure.
It hath happen'd all, as I would haue had it, ſaue that he comes not along with her.
By my troth I take my young Lord to be a ve
By what obſeruance I pray you.
Why he will looke vppon his boote, and ſing: mend the Ruffe and ſing, aske queſtions and ſing, picke his teeth, and ſing: I know a man that had this tricke of melancholy hold a goodly Mannor for a ſong.
Let me ſee what he writes, and when he meanes to come.
I haue no minde to Isbell ſince I was at Court. Our old Lings, and our Isbels a' th Country, are nothing like your old Ling and your Isbels a' th Court: the brains of my Cupid's knock'd out, and I beginne to loue, as an old man loues money, with no ſtomacke.
What haue we heere?
I haue ſent you a daughter-in-Law, ſhee hath recouered the King, and vndone me: I haue wedded her, not bedded her, and ſworne to make the not eternall. You ſhall heare I am runne away, know it before the report come. If there bee bredth enough in the world, I will hold a long diſtance. My duty to you.
Your vnfortunate ſonne, Bertram.
O Madam, yonder is heauie newes within be
What is the matter.
Nay there is ſome comfort in the newes, ſome comfort, your ſonne will not be kild ſo ſoone as I thoght he would.
Why ſhould he be kill'd?
So ſay I Madame, if he runne away, as I heare he does, the danger is in ſtanding too't, that's the loſſe of men, though it be the getting of children. Heere they come will tell you more. For my part I onely heare your ſonne was run away.
Saue you good Madam.
Madam, my Lord is gone, for euer gone.
Do not ſay ſo.
When thou canſt get the Ring vpon my finger, which neuer ſhall come off, and ſhew mee a childe begotten of thy bodie, that I am father too, then call me husband: but in ſuch a (then) I write a Neuer.
Brought you this Letter Gentlemen?
I Madam, and for the Contents ſake are ſorrie for our paines.
I Madam.
And to be a ſouldier.
Returne you thither.
I Madam, with the ſwifteſt wing of ſpeed.
Finde you that there?
I Madame.
'Tis but the boldneſſe of his hand haply, which his heart was not conſenting too.
A ſeruant onely, and a Gentleman: whlch I haue ſometime knowne.
Parolles was it not?
I my good Ladie, hee.
Indeed good Ladie the fellow has a deale of that, too much, which holds him much to haue.
Y' are welcome Gentlemen, I will intreate you when you ſee my ſonne, to tell him that his ſword can neuer winne the honor that he looſes: more Ile intreate
We ſerue you Madam in that and all your worthieſt affaires.
I know that knaue, hang him, one Parolles, a filthy Officer he is in thoſe ſuggeſtions for the young Earle, beware of them Diana; their promiſes, entiſe
You ſhall not neede to feare me.
I hope ſo: looke here comes a pilgrim, I know ſhe will lye at my houſe, thither they ſend one another, Ile queſtion her. God ſaue you pilgrim, whether are bound?
At the S. Francis heere beſide the Port.
Is this the way?
Is it your ſelfe?
If you ſhall pleaſe ſo Pilgrime.
I thanke you, and will ſtay vpon your leiſure.
you came I thinke from France?
I did ſo.
His name I pray you?
The Count Roſſillion: know you ſuch a one?
I ſurely meere the truth, I know his Lady.
What's his name?
Monſieur Parrolles.
The goddes forbid elſe.
Which is the Frenchman?
I like him well.
Which is he?
That Iacke an-apes with ſcarfes. Why is hee melancholly?
Perchance he
Looſe our drum? Well.
He's ſhrewdly vext at ſomething. Looke he has ſpyed vs.
Marrie hang you.
And your curteſie, for a ring-carrier.
Wee'l take your offer kindly.
Nay good my Lord put him too't: let him haue his way.
If your Lordſhippe finde him not a Hilding, hold me no more in your reſpect.
On my life my Lord
Beleeue it my Lord, in mine owne direct knowledge, without any malice, but to ſpeake of him as my kinſman, hee's a moſt notable Coward, an infi
It were fit you knew him, leaſt
I would I knew in what particular action to try him.
None better then to let him fetch off his drumme, which you heare him ſo confidently vnder
I with a troop of Florentines wil ſodainly ſur
O for the loue of laughter, let him fetch his drumme, he ſayes he has a ſtratagem for't: when your Lordſhip ſees the bottome of this ſucceſſe in't, and to what mettle this counterfeyt lump of ours will be mel
O for the loue of laughter hinder not the ho
How now Monſieur? This drumme ſticks ſore
A pox on't, let it go, 'tis but a drumme.
But a drumme: Iſt but a drumme? A drum ſo loſt. There was excellent command, to charge in with our horſe vpon our owne wings, and to rend our owne ſouldiers.
That was not to be blam'd in the command of the ſeruice: it was a diſaſter of warre that Caeſar him ſelfe could not haue preuented, if he had beene there to command.
Well, wee cannot greatly condemne our ſuc
It might haue beene recouered.
It might, but it is not now.
It is to be recouered, but that the merit of ſerhic iacet.
Why if you haue a ſtomacke, too't Monſieur: if you thinke your myſterie in ſtratagem, can bring this inſtrument of honour againe into his natiue quarter, be magnanimious in the enterprize and go on, I wil grace the attempt for a worthy exploit: if you ſpeede well in it, the Duke ſhall both ſpeake of it, and extend to you what further becomes his greatneſſe, euen to the vtmoſt ſyllable of your worthineſſe.
By the hand of a ſouldier I will vndertake it.
But you muſt not now ſlumber in it.
Ile about it this euening, and I will preſently pen downe my dilemma's, encourage my ſelfe in my certaintie, put my ſelfe into my mortall preparation: and by midnight looke to heare further from me.
May I bee bold to acquaint his grace you are gone about it.
I know not what the ſucceſſe wil be my Lord, but the attempt I vow.
I loue not many words.
No more then a fiſh loues water. Is not this a ſtrange fellow my Lord, that ſo confidently ſeemes to vndertake this buſineſſe, which he knowes is not to be done, damnes himſelfe to do, & dares better be damnd then to doo't.
You do not know him my Lord as we doe, certaine it is that he will ſteale himſelfe into a mans fa
Why do you thinke he will make no deede at all of this that ſo ſeriouſlie hee dooes addreſſe himſelfe vnto?
None in the world, but returne with an in
Weele make you ſome ſport with the Foxe ere we caſe him. He was firſt ſmoak'd by the old Lord Lafew, when his diſguiſe and he is parted, tell me what a ſprat you ſhall finde him, which you ſhall ſee this ve
Your brother he ſhall go along with me.
As't pleaſe your Lordſhip, Ile leaue you.
But you ſay ſhe's honeſt.
With all my heart my Lord.
Now I ſee the bottome of your purpoſe.
He can come no other way but by this hedge corner: when you ſallie vpon him, ſpeake what terrible Language you will: though you vnderſtand it not your ſelues, no matter: for we muſt not ſeeme to vnderſtand him, vnleſſe ſome one among vs, whom wee muſt pro
Good Captaine, let me be th' Interpreter.
Art not acquainted with him? knowes he not thy voice?
No ſir I warrant you.
But what linſie wolſy haſt thou to ſpeake to vs againe.
E'n ſuch as you ſpeake to me.
He muſt thinke vs ſome band of ſtrangers, i' th aduerſaries entertainment. Now he hath a ſmacke of all neighbouring Languages: therefore we muſt euery one be a man of his owne fancie, not to know what we ſpeak one to another: ſo we ſeeme to know, is to know ſtraight our purpoſe: Choughs language, gabble enough, and good enough. As for you interpreter, you muſt ſeeme very politicke. But couch hoa, heere hee comes, to be
Ten a clocke: Within theſe three houres 'twill be time enough to goe home. What ſhall I ſay I haue done? It muſt bee a very plauſiue inuention that carries it. They beginne to ſmoake mee, and diſgraces haue of late, knock'd too often at my doore: I finde my tongue is too foole-hardie, but my heart hath the feare of Ma
This is the firſt truth that ere thine own tongue was guiltie of.
What the diuell ſhould moue mee to vndertake the recouerie of this drumme, being not ignorant of the impoſſibility, and knowing I had no ſuch purpoſe? I muſt giue my ſelfe ſome hurts, and ſay I got them in exBaiazeths Mule, if you prattle mee into theſe perilles.
Is it poſſible he ſhould know what hee is, and be that he is.
I would the cutting of my garments wold ſerue the turne, or the breaking of my Spaniſh ſword.
We cannot affoord you ſo.
Or the baring of my beard, and to ſay it was in ſtratagem.
'Twould not do.
Or to drowne my cloathes, and ſay I was ſtript.
Hardly ſerue.
Though I ſwore I leapt from the window of the Citadell.
How deepe?
Thirty fadome.
Three great oathes would ſcarſe make that be beleeued.
I would I had any drumme of the enemies, I would ſweare I recouer'd it.
You ſhall heare one anon.
A drumme now of the enemies.
Throca movouſus, cargo, cargo, cargo.
Cargo, cargo, cargo, villianda par corbo, cargo.
Boskos thromuldo boskos.
Boskos vauvado, I vnderſtand thee, & can ſpeake thy tongue: Kerelybonto ſir, betake thee to thy faith, for ſeuenteene ponyards are at thy boſome.
Oh.
Oſcorbidulchos voliuorc
But wilt thou faithfully?
If I do not, damne me.
Captaine I will.
So I will ſir.
Till then Ile keepe him darke and ſafely lockt.
They told me that your name was Fontybell.
No my good Lord, Diana.
She then was honeſt.
So ſhould you be.
How haue I ſworne.
Will you not my Lord?
A heauen on earth I haue won by wooing thee.
You haue not giuen him his mothers letter.
I haue deliu'red it an houre ſince, there is ſom thing in't that ſtings his nature: for on the reading it, he chang'd almoſt into another man.
He has much worthy blame laid vpon him, for ſhaking off ſo good a wife, and ſo ſweet a Lady.
Eſpecially, hee hath incurred the euerlaſting diſpleaſure of the King, who had euen tun'd his bounty to ſing happineſſe to him. I will tell you a thing, but you ſhall let it dwell darkly with you.
When you haue ſpoken it 'tis dead, and I am the graue of it.
Hee hath peruerted a young Gentlewoman heere in Florence, of a moſt chaſte renown, & this night he fleſhes his will in the ſpoyle of her honour: hee hath giuen her his monumentall Ring, and thinkes himſelfe made in the vnchaſte compoſition.
Now God delay our rebellion as we are our ſelues, what things are we.
Meerely our owne traitours. And as in the common courſe of all treaſons, we ſtill ſee them reueale themſelues, till they attaine to their abhorr'd ends: ſo he that in this action contriues againſt his owne Nobi
Is it not meant damnable in vs, to be Trum
Not till after midnight: for hee is dieted to his houre.
That approaches apace: I would gladly haue him ſee his company anathomiz'd, that hee might take
We will not meddle with him till he come; for his preſence muſt be the whip of the other.
In the meane time, what heare you of theſe Warres?
I heare there is an ouerture of peace.
Nay, I aſſure you a peace concluded.
What will Count Roſſillion do then? Will he trauaile higher, or returne againe into France?
I perceiue by this demand, you are not alto
Let it be forbid ſir, ſo ſhould I bee a great deale of his act.
Sir, his wife ſome two months ſince fledde from his houſe, her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Iaques le grand; which holy vndertaking, with moſt au
How is this iuſtified?
The ſtronger part of it by her owne Letters, which makes her ſtorie true, euen to the poynt of her death: her death it ſelfe, which could not be her office to ſay, is come: was faithfully confirm'd by the Rector of the place.
Hath the Count all this intelligence?
I, and the particular confirmations, point from point, to the full arming of the veritie.
I am heartily ſorrie that hee'l bee gladde of this.
How mightily ſometimes, we make vs com
And how mightily ſome other times, wee drowne our gaine in teares, the great dignitie that his valour hath here acquir'd for him, ſhall at home be en
The webbe of our life, is of a mingled yarne, good and ill together: our vertues would bee proud, if our faults whipt them not, and our crimes would diſ
How now? Where's your maſter?
He met the Duke in the ſtreet ſir, of whom hee hath taken a ſolemne leaue: his Lordſhippe will next morning for France. The Duke hath offered him Let
They ſhall bee no more then needfull there, if they were more then they can commend.
They cannot be too ſweete for the Kings tart
I haue to night diſpatch'd ſixteene buſineſſes, a moneths length a peece, by an abſtract of ſucceſſe: I haue congied with the Duke, done my adieu with his neereſt; buried a wife, mourn'd for her
If the buſineſſe bee of any difficulty, and this morning your departure hence, it requires haſt of your Lordſhip.
I meane the buſineſſe is not ended, as fearing to heare of it hereafter: but ſhall we haue this dialogue betweene the Foole and the Soldiour. Come, bring forth this counterfet module, ha
Bring him forth, ha's ſate i' th ſtockes all night poore gallant knaue.
No matter, his heeles haue deſeru'd it, in vſur
I haue told your Lordſhip alreadie: The ſtockes carrie him. But to anſwer you as you would be vnderſtood, hee weepes like a wench that had ſhed her milke, he hath confeſt himſelfe to Morgan, whom hee ſuppoſes to be a Friar, fro
Nothing of me, ha's a?
His confeſſion is taken, and it ſhall bee read to his face, if your Lordſhippe be in't, as I beleeue you are, you muſt haue the patience to heare it.
A plague vpon him, muffeld; he can ſay nothing of me: huſh, huſh.
Hoodman comes: Portotartaroſſa.
He calles for the tortures, what will you ſay without em.
Bosko Chimurcho.
Boblibindo chicurmurco.
You are a mercifull Generall: Our Generall bids you anſwer to what I ſhall aske you out of a Note.
And truly, as I hope to liue.
Firſt demand of him, how many horſe the Duke is ſtrong. What ſay you to that?
Fiue or ſixe thouſand, but very weake and vn
Shall I ſet downe your anſwer ſo?
Do, Ile take the Sacrament on't, how & which way you will: all's one to him.
What a paſt-ſauing ſlaue is this?
Y'are deceiu'd my Lord, this is Mounſieur Parrolles the gallant militariſt, that was his owne phraſe that had the whole theoricke of warre in the knot of his ſcarfe, and the practiſe in the chape of his dagger.
I will neuer truſt a man againe, for keeping his ſword cleane, nor beleeue he can haue euerie thing in him, by wearing his apparrell neatly.
Well, that's ſet downe.
Fiue or ſix thouſand horſe I ſed, I will ſay true, or thereabouts ſet downe, for Ile ſpeake truth.
He's very neere the truth in this.
But I con him no thankes for't in the nature he deliuers it.
Poore rogues, I pray you ſay.
Well, that's ſet downe.
I humbly thanke you ſir, a truth's a truth, the Rogues are maruailous poore.
Demaund of him of what ſtrength they are a foot. What ſay you to that?
By my troth ſir, if I were to liue this preſent houre, I will tell true. Let me ſee, Spurio a hundred &
Sebaſtian ſo many, Corambus ſo many, Iaques ſo many: Guiltian, Coſmo, Lodowicke, and Gratij, two hunChitopher, Ʋaumond, Bentij, two hundred fiftie each: ſo that the muſter file, rotten and ſound, vppon my life amounts not to fif
What ſhall be done to him?
Nothing, but let him haue thankes. Demand of him my condition: and what credite I haue with the Duke.
Well that's ſet downe: you ſhall demaund of him, whether one Captaine Dumaine bee i' th Campe, a Frenchman: what his reputation is with the Duke, what his valour, honeſtie, and expertneſſe in warres: or whe
I beſeech you let me anſwer to the particular of the intergatories. Demand them ſingly.
Do you know this Captaine Dumaine?
I know him, a was a Botchers Prentize in Paris, from whence he was whipt for getting the Shrieues fool with childe, a dumbe innocent that could not ſay him nay.
Nay, by your leaue hold your hands, though I know his braines are forfeite to the next tile that fals.
Well, is this Captaine in the Duke of Florences campe?
Vpon my knowledge he is, and lowſie.
Nay looke not ſo vpon me: we ſhall heare of your Lord anon.
What is his reputation with the Duke?
The Duke knowes him for no other, but a poore Officer of mine, and writ to mee this other day, to turne him out a' th band. I thinke I haue his Letter in my poc
Marry we'll ſearch.
In good ſadneſſe I do not know, either it is there, or it is vpon a file with the Dukes other Letters, in my Tent.
Heere 'tis, heere's a paper, ſhall I reade it to you?
I do not know if it be it or no.
Our Interpreter do's it well.
Excellently.
Dian, the Counts a foole, and full of gold.
That is not the Dukes letter ſir: that is an adDiana, to take heede of the allurement of one Count Roſſillion, a fooliſh idle boy: but for all that very ruttiſh. I pray you ſir put it vp againe.
Nay, Ile reade it firſt by your fauour.
My meaning in't I proteſt was very honeſt in the behalfe of the maid: for I knew the young Count to be a dangerous and laſciuious boy, who is a whale to Virgi
Damnable both-ſides rogue.
He ſhall be whipt through the Armie with this rime in's forehead.
This is your deuoted friend ſir, the manifold Linguiſt, and the army-potent ſouldier.
I could endure any thing before but a Cat, and now he's a Cat to me.
I perceiue ſir by your Generals lookes, wee ſhall be faine to hang you.
My life ſir in any caſe: Not that I am afraide to dye, but that my offences beeing many, I would repent out the remainder of Nature. Let me liue ſir in a dunge
Wee'le ſee what may bee done, ſo you confeſſe freely: therefore once more to this Captaine Dumaine: you haue anſwer'd to his reputation with the Duke, and to his valour. What is his honeſtie?
He will ſteale ſir an Egge out of a Cloiſter: for rapes and rauiſhments he paralels Neſſus. Hee profeſſes not keeping of oaths, in breaking em he is ſtronger then Hercules. He will lye ſir, with ſuch volubilitie, that you would thinke truth were a foole: drunkenneſſe is his beſt vertue, for he will be ſwine-drunke, and in his ſleepe he does little harme, ſaue to his bed-cloathes about him: but they know his conditions, and lay him in ſtraw. I haue but little more to ſay ſir of his honeſty, he ha's eue
I begin to loue him for this.
For this deſcription of thine honeſtie? A pox vpon him for me, he's more and more a Cat.
What ſay you to his expertneſſe in warre?
Faith ſir, ha's led the drumme before the EngMile-end, to inſtruct for the doubling of files. I would doe the man what honour I can, but of this I am not certaine.
He hath out-villain'd villanie ſo farre, that the raritie redeemes him.
A pox on him, he's a Cat ſtill.
His qualities being at this poore price. I neede not to aske you, if Gold will corrupt him to reuolt.
Sir, for a Cardceue he will ſell the fee-ſimple of his ſaluation, the inheritance of it, and cut th' intaile from all remainders, and a perpetuall ſucceſsion for it perpe
What's his Brother, the other Captain Dumain?
Why do's he aske him of me?
What's he?
E'ne a Crow a' th ſame neſt: not altogether ſo great as the firſt in goodneſſe, but greater a great deale in euill. He excels his Brother for a coward, yet his Brother is reputed one of the beſt that is. In a retreate hee out
If your life be ſaued, will you vndertake to betray the Florentine.
I, and the Captaine of his horſe, Count Roſſillion.
Ile whiſper with the Generall, and knowe his pleaſure.
Ile no more drumming, a plague of all drummes, onely to ſeeme to deſerue well, and to beguile the ſuppo
There is no remedy ſir, but you muſt dye: the Generall ſayes, you that haue ſo traitorouſly diſcouerd the ſecrets of your army, and made ſuch peſtifferous re
O Lord ſir let me liue, or let me ſee my death.
Good morrow noble Captaine.
God bleſſe you Captaine Parolles.
God ſaue you noble Captaine.
Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafew? I am for France.
Good Captaine will you giue me a Copy of the ſonnet you writ to Diana in behalfe of the Count Roſſillion, and I were not a verie Coward, I'de compell it of you, but far you well.
You are vndone Captaine all but your ſcarfe, that has a knot on't yet.
Who cannot be cruſh'd with a plot?
If you could finde out a Countrie where but women were that had receiued ſo much ſhame, you might begin an impudent Nation. Fare yee well ſir, I am for France too, we ſhall ſpeake of you there.
No, no, no, your ſonne was miſled with a ſnipt taffata fellow there, whoſe villanous ſaffron wold haue made all the vnbak'd and dowy youth of a nation in his colour: your daughter-in-law had beene aliue at this houre, and your ſonne heere at home, more aduanc
I would I had not knowne him, it was the death of the moſt vertuous gentlewoman, that euer Nature had praiſe for creating. If ſhe had pertaken of my fleſh and coſt mee the deereſt groanes of a mother, I could not haue owed her a more rooted loue.
Twas a good Lady, 'twas a good Lady. Wee may picke a thouſand ſallets ere wee light on ſuch ano
Indeed ſir ſhe was the ſweete Margerom of the ſallet, or rather the hearbe of grace.
They are not hearbes you knaue, they are noſe-hearbes.
I am no great Nabuchadnezar ſir, I haue not much skill in grace.
Whether doeſt thou profeſſe thy ſelfe, a knaue or a foole?
A foole ſir at a womans ſeruice, and a knaue at a mans.
Your diſtinction.
I would couſen the man of his wife, and do his ſeruice.
So you were a knaue at his ſeruice indeed.
And I would giue his wife my bauble ſir to doe her ſeruice.
I will ſubſcribe for thee, thou art both knaue and foole.
At your ſeruice.
No, no, no.
Why ſir, if I cannot ſerue you, I can ſerue as great a prince as you are.
Whoſe that, a Frenchman?
Faith ſir a has an Engliſh maine, but his fiſno
What prince is that?
The blacke prince ſir, alias the prince of darke
Hold thee there's my purſe, I giue thee not this to ſuggeſt thee from thy maſter thou talk'ſt off, ſerue him ſtill.
I am a woodland fellow ſir, that alwaies loued a great fire, and the maſter I ſpeak of euer keeps a good fire, but ſure he is the Prince of the world, let his No
Go thy waies, I begin to bee a wearie of thee, and I tell thee ſo before, becauſe I would not fall out with thee. Go thy wayes, let my horſes be wel look'd too, without any trickes.
If I put any trickes vpon em ſir, they ſhall bee Iades trickes, which are their owne right by the law of Nature.
A ſhrewd knaue and an vnhappie.
So a is. My Lord that's gone made himſelfe much ſport out of him, by his authoritie hee remaines heere, which he thinkes is a pattent for his ſawcineſſe, and indeede he has no pace, but runnes where he will.
I like him well, 'tis not amiſſe: and I was about to tell you, ſince I heard of the good Ladies death, and that my Lord your ſonne was vpon his returne home. I moued the King my maſter to ſpeake in the behalfe of my daughter, which in the minoritie of them both, his Maieſtie out of a ſelfe gracious remembrance did firſt propoſe, his Highneſſe hath promis'd me to doe it, and to ſtoppe vp the diſpleaſure he hath conceiued againſt your ſonne, there is no fitter matter. How do's your Ladyſhip like it?
With verie much content my Lord, and I wiſh it happily effected.
His Highneſſe comes poſt from Marcellus, of as able bodie as when he number'd thirty, a will be heere to morrow, or I am deceiu'd by him that in ſuch intel
Ir reioyces me, that I hope I ſhall ſee him ere I die. I haue letters that my ſonne will be heere to night: I ſhall beſeech your Lordſhip to remaine with mee, till they meete together.
Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might ſafely be admitted.
You neede but pleade your honourable priui
Ladie, of that I haue made a bold charter, but I thanke my God, it holds yet.
O Madam, yonders my Lord your ſonne with a patch of veluet on's face, whether there bee a ſcar vn
But it is your carbinado'd face.
Faith there's a dozen of em, with delicate fine hats, and moſt courteous feathers, which bow the head, and nod at euerie man.
And you.
Sir, I haue ſeene you in the Court of France.
I haue beene ſometimes there.
What's your will?
The Kings not heere.
Not heere ſir?
Lord how we looſe our paines.
This Ile do for you.
And you ſhall finde your ſelfe to be well thankt what e're falles more. We muſt to horſe againe, Go, go, prouide.
Good Mr
Lauatch giue my Lord Lafew this let
Truely, Fortunes diſpleaſure is but ſluttiſh if it ſmell ſo ſtrongly as thou ſpeak'ſt of: I will hencefoorth eate no Fiſh of Fortunes butt'ring. Pre thee alow the winde.
Nay you neede not to ſtop your noſe ſir: I ſpake but by a Metaphor.
Indeed ſir, if your Metaphor ſtinke, I will ſtop my noſe, or againſt any mans Metaphor. Prethe get thee further.
Pray you ſir deliuer me this paper.
Foh, prethee ſtand away: a paper from fortunes cloſe-ſtoole, to giue to a Nobleman. Looke heere he comes himſelfe.
Heere is a purre of Fortunes ſir, or of Fortunes Cat, but not a Muſcat, that ha's falne into the vncleane fiſh-pond of her diſpleaſure, and as he ſayes is muddied withall. Pray you ſir, vſe the Carpe as you may, for he lookes like a poore decayed, ingenious, fooliſh, raſcally knaue. I doe pittie his diſtreſſe in my ſmiles of comfort, and leaue him to your Lordſhip.
My Lord I am a man whom fortune hath cruel
And what would you haue me to doe? 'Tis too late to paire her nailes now. Wherein haue you played the knaue with fortune that ſhe ſhould ſcratch you, who of her ſelfe is a good Lady, and would not haue knaues thriue long vnder? There's a Cardecue for you: Let the Iuſtices make you and fortune friends; I am for other buſineſſe.
I beſeech your honour to heare mee one ſingle word
you begge a ſingle peny more: Come you ſhall ha
My name my good Lord is Parrolles.
You begge more then word then. Cox my paſ
O my good Lord, you were the firſt that found mee.
Was I inſooth? And I was the firſt that loſt thee.
It lies in you my Lord to bring me in ſome grace for you did bring me out.
Out vpon thee knaue, doeſt thou put vpon mee at once both the offiee of God and the diuel: one brings thee in grace, and the other brings thee out. The Kings comming I know by his Trumpets. Sirrah, inquire fur
I praiſe God for you.
I ſhall my Liege.
All that he is, hath reference to your Highnes.
Then ſhall we haue a match. I haue letters ſent me, that ſets him high in fame.
He lookes well on't.
Hers it was not.
I am ſure I ſaw her weare it.
She neuer ſaw it.
I am wrap
Ʋpon his many proteſtations to marrie mee when his wife was dead, I bluſh to ſay it, he wonne me. Now is the Count Roſſillion a Widdower, his vowes are forfeited to mee, and my honors payed to him. Hee ſtole from Florence, taking no leaue, and I follow him to his Countrey for Iuſtice: Grant it me, O King, in you it beſt lies, otherwiſe a ſeducer flouriſhes, and a poore Maid is vndone.
I will buy me a ſonne in Law in a faire, and toule for this. Ile none of him.
Now iuſtice on the doers.
Come hether Count, do you know theſe Wo
Why do you looke ſo ſtrange vpon your wife?
She's none of mine my Lord.
your reputation comes too ſhort for my daugh
What ſaiſt thou to her?
I ſaw the man to day, if man he bee.
Finde him, and bring him hether.
She hath that Ring of yours.
I haue it not.
What Ring was yours I pray you?
Sir much like the ſame vpon your finger.
Know you this Ring, this Ring was his of late.
And this was it I gaue him being a bed.
I haue ſpoke the truth.
My Lord, I do confeſſe the ring was hers.
I, my Lord.
So pleaſe your Maieſty, my maſter hath bin an honourable Gentleman. Trickes hee hath had in him, which Gentlemen haue.
Come, come, to' th' purpoſe: Did hee loue this woman?
Faith ſir he did loue her, but how.
How I pray you?
He did loue her ſir, as a Gent. loues a Woman.
How is that?
He lou'd her ſir, and lou'd her not.
As thou art a knaue and no knaue, what an equi
I am a poore man, and at your Maieſties com
Hee's a good drumme my Lord, but a naughtie Orator.
Do you know he promiſt me marriage?
Faith I know more then Ile ſpeake.
But wilt thou not ſpeake all thou know'ſt?
Yes ſo pleaſe your Maieſty: I did goe betweene them as I ſaid, but more then that he loued her, for in
Thou haſt ſpoken all alreadie, vnleſſe thou canſt ſay they are maried, but thou art too fine in thy euidence, therefore ſtand aſide. This Ring you ſay was yours.
I my good Lord.
Where did you buy it? Or who gaue it you?
It was not giuen me, nor I did not buy it.
Who lent it you?
It was not lent me neither.
Where did you finde it then?
I found it not.
I neuer gaue it him.
This womans an eaſie gloue my Lord, ſhe goes off and on at pleaſure.
This Ring was mine, I gaue it his firſt wife.
It might be yours or hers for ought I know.
Ile neuer tell you.
Take her away.
Ile put in baile my liedge.
I thinke thee now ſome common Cuſtomer.
By Ioue if euer I knew man 'twas you.
Wherefore haſt thou accuſde him al this while.
She does abuſe our eares, to priſon with her.
Both, both, O pardon.
Will you go hunt my Lord?
What Curio?
The Hart.
What Country (Friends) is this?
This is Illyria Ladie.
It is perchance that you your ſelfe were ſaued.
O my poore brother, and ſo perchance may he be.
Who gouernes heere?
A noble Duke in nature, as in name.
What is his name?
Orſino.
What's ſhee?
I thanke thee: Lead me on.
What a plague meanes my Neece to take the death of her brother thus? I am ſure care's an enemie to life.
By my troth ſir Toby, you muſt come in earlyer a nights
Why let her except, before excepted.
I, but you muſt confine your ſelfe within the modeſt limits of order.
Confine? Ile confine my ſelfe no finer then I am: theſe cloathes are good enough to drinke in, and ſo bee theſe boots too: and they be not, let them hang them
That quaffing and drinking will vndoe you: I heard my Lady talke of it yeſterday: and of a fooliſh knight that you brought in one night here, to be hir woer
Who, Sir Andrew Ague-cheeke?
I he.
He's as tall a man as any's in Illyria.
What's that to th' purpoſe?
Why he ha's three thouſand ducates a yeare.
I, but hee'l haue but a yeare in all theſe ducates: He's a very foole, and a prodigall.
Fie, that you'l ſay ſo: he playes o' th Viol-de-ga
He hath indeed, almoſt naturall: for beſides that he's a foole, he's a great quarreller: and but that hee hath the gift of a Coward, to allay the guſt he hath in quarrel
By this hand they are ſcoundrels and ſubſtra
They that adde moreour, hee's drunke nightly in your company.
With drinking healths to my Neece: Ile drinke to her as long as there is a paſſage in my throat, & drinke in Illyria: he's a Coward and a Coyſtrill that will not drinke to my NeeceCaſtiliano vulgo: for here coms Sir Andrew Agueface.
Sir Toby Belch. How now ſir Toby Belch?
Sweet ſir Andrew.
Bleſſe you faire Shrew.
And you too ſir.
Accoſt Sir Andrew, accoſt.
What's that?
My Neeces Chamber-maid.
Good Miſtris accoſt, I deſire better acquaintance
My name is Mary ſir.
Good miſtris Mary, accoſt.
You miſtake knight: Accoſt, is front her, boord her, woe her, aſſayle her.
By my troth I would not vndertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of Accoſt?
Far you well Gentlemen.
And thou let part ſo Sir Andrew, would thou mightſt neuer draw ſword agen.
And you part ſo miſtris, I would I might neuer draw ſword agen: Faire Lady, doe you thinke you haue fooles in hand?
Sir, I haue not you by 'th hand.
Marry but you ſhall haue, and heeres my hand.
Now ſir
Wherefore (ſweet-heart?) What's your Meta
It's dry ſir.
Why I thinke ſo: I am not ſuch an aſſe, but I can keepe my hand dry. But what's your ieſt?
A dry ieſt Sir.
Are you full of them?
I Sir, I haue them at my fingers ends: marry now I let go your hand, I am barren.
O knight, thou lack'ſt a cup of Canarie: when did I ſee thee ſo put downe?
Neuer in your life I thinke, vnleſſe you ſee Ca
No queſtion.
And I thought that, I'de forſweare it. Ile ride home to morrow ſir Toby.
Pur-quoy my deere knight?
What is purquoy? Do, or not do? I would I had beſtowed that time in the tongues, that I haue in fencing dancing, and beare-bayting; O had I but followed the Arts.
Then hadſt thou had an excellent head of haire.
Why, would that haue mended my haire?
Paſt queſtion, for thou ſeeſt it will not coole my nature
But it becoms we wel enough, doſt not?
Excellent, it hangs like flax on a diſtaffe: & I hope to ſee a huſwife take thee between her legs, & ſpin it off.
Faith Ile home to morrow ſir Toby, your niece wil not be ſeene, or if ſhe be it's four to one, ſhe'l none of me: the Count himſelfe here hard by, wooes her,
Shee'l none o' th Count, ſhe'l not match aboue hir degree, neither in eſtate, yeares, nor wit: I haue heard her ſwear't. Tut there's life in't man.
Ile ſtay a moneth longer. I am a fellow o' th ſtrangeſt minde i' th world: I delight in Maskes and Re
Art thou good at theſe kicke-chawſes Knight?
As any man in Illyria, whatſoeuer he be, vnder the degree of my betters, & yet I will not compare with an old man.
What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight?
Faith, I can cut a caper.
And I can cut the Mutton too't.
And I thinke I haue the backe-tricke, ſimply as ſtrong as any man in Illyria.
Wherefore are theſe things hid? Wherefore haue theſe gifts a Curtaine before 'em? Are they like to take duſt, like miſtris Mals picture? Why doſt thou not goe to Church in a Galliard, and come home in a Carranto? My verie walke ſhould be a Iigge: I would not ſo much as make water but in a Sinke-a-pace: What dooeſt thou meane? Is it a world to hide vertues in? I did thinke by the excellent conſtitution of thy legge, it was form'd vn
I, 'tis ſtrong, and it does indifferent well in a dam'd colour'd ſtocke. Shall we ſit about ſome Reuels?
What ſhall we do elſe: were we not borne vnder Taurus?
Taurus? That ſides and heart.
No ſir, it is leggs and thighes: let me ſee thee ca
If the Duke continue theſe fauours towards you Ceſario, you are like to be much aduanc'd, he hath known you but three dayes, and already you are no ſtranger.
You either feare his humour, or my negligence, that you call in queſtion the continuance of his loue. Is he inconſtant ſir, in his fauours.
No beleeue me.
I thanke you: heere comes the Count.
Who ſaw Ceſario hoa?
On your attendance my Lord heere.
Say I do ſpeake with her (my Lord) what then?
I thinke not ſo, my Lord.
Nay, either tell me where thou haſt bin, or I will not open my lippes ſo wide as a briſsle may enter, in way of thy excuſe: my Lady will hang thee for thy abſence.
Let her hang me: hee that is well hang'de in this world, needs to feare no colours.
Make that good.
He ſhall ſee none to feare.
A good lenton anſwer: I can tell thee where yt ſaying was borne, of I feare no colours.
Where good miſtris Mary?
In the warrs, & that may you be bolde to ſay in your foolerie.
Well, God giue them wiſedome that haue it: & thoſe that are fooles, let them vſe their talents.
Yet you will be hang'd for being ſo long abſent, or to be turn'd away: is not that as good as a hanging to you?
Many a good hanging, preuents a bad marriage: and for turning away, let ſummer beare it out.
You are reſolute then?
Not ſo neyther, but I am reſolu'd on two points
That if one breake, the other will hold: or if both breake, your gaskins fall.
Apt in good faith, very apt: well go thy way, if ſir Toby would leaue drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eues fleſh, as any in Illyria.
Peace you rogue, no more o' that: here comes my Lady: make your excuſe wiſely, you were beſt.
Wit, and't be thy will, put me into good fooling: thoſe wits that thinke they haue thee, doe very oft proue fooles: and I that am ſure I Iacke thee, may paſſe for a wiſe man. For what ſaies Quinapalus, Better a witty foole, then a fooliſh wit. God bleſſe thee Lady.
Take the foole away.
Do you not heare fellowes, take away the Ladie.
Go too, y' are a dry foole: Ile no more of you: be
Two faults Madona, that drinke & good counſell wil amend: for giue the dry foole drink, then is the foole not dry: bid the diſhoneſt man mend himſelf, if he mend, he is no longer diſhoneſt; if hee cannot, let the Botcher mend him: any thing that's mended, is but patch'd: vertu that tranſgreſſes, is but patcht with ſinne, and ſin that a
Sir, I bad them take away you.
Miſpriſion in the higheſt degree. Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum: that's as much to ſay, as I weare not motley in my braine: good Madona, giue mee leaue to proue you a foole.
Can you do it?
Dexteriouſly, good Madona.
Make your proofe.
I muſt catechize you for it Madona, Good my Mouſe of vertue anſwer mee.
Well ſir, for want of other idleneſſe, Ile bide your proofe.
Good Madona, why mournſt thou?
Good foole, for my brothers death.
I thinke his ſoule is in hell, Madona.
I know his ſoule is in heauen, foole.
The more foole (Madona) to mourne for your Brothers ſoule, being in heauen. Take away the Foole, Gentlemen.
What thinke you of this foole Maluolio, doth he not mend?
Yes, and ſhall do, till the pangs of death ſhake him: Infirmity that decaies the wiſe, doth euer make the better foole.
God ſend you ſir, a ſpeedie Infirmity, for the better increaſing your folly: Sir Toby will be ſworn that I am no Fox, but he wil not paſſe his word for two pence that you are no Foole.
How ſay you to that Maluolio?
I maruell your Ladyſhip takes delight in ſuch a barren raſcall: I ſaw him put down the other day, with an ordinary foole, that has no more braine then a ſtone. Looke you now, he's out of his gard already: vnles you laugh and miniſter occaſion to him, he is gag'd. I proteſt I take theſe Wiſemen, that crow ſo at theſe ſet kinde of fooles, no better then the fooles Zanies.
O you are ficke of ſelfe-loue Maluolio, and taſte with a diſtemper'd appetite. To be generous, guitleſſe, and of free diſpoſition, is to take thoſe things for Bird-bolts, that you deeme Cannon bullets: There is no ſlan
Now Mercury indue thee with leaſing, for thou ſpeak'ſt well of fooles.
Madam, there is at the gate, a young Gentle
From the Count Orſino, is it?
I know not (Madam) 'tis a faire young man, and well attended.
Who of my people hold him in delay
Sir Toby Madam, your kinſman.
Fetch him off I pray you, he ſpeakes nothing but madman: Fie on him. Go you Maluolio; If it be a
Now you ſee ſir, how your fooling growes old, & peo
Thou haſt ſpoke for vs (Madona) as if thy eldeſt ſonne ſhould be a foole: whoſe ſcull, Ioue cramme with braines, for heere he comes.
One of thy kin has a moſt weake Pia-mater.
By mine honor halfe drunke. What is he at the gate Coſin?
A Gentleman.
A Gentleman? What Gentleman?
'Tis a Gentleman heere. A plague o' theſe pickle herring: How now Sot.
Good Sir Toby.
Coſin, Coſin, how haue you come ſo earely by this Lethargie?
Letcherie, I defie Letchery: there's one at the gate.
I marry, what is he?
Let him be the diuell and he will, I care not: giue me faith ſay I. Well, it's all one.
What's a drunken man like, foole?
Go thou and ſeeke the Crowner, and let him ſitte o' my Coz: for he's in the third degree of drinke: hee's drown'd: go looke after him.
He is but mad yet Madona, and the foole ſhall looke to the madman.
Madam, yond young fellow ſweares hee will ſpeake with you. I told him you were ſicke, he takes on him to vnderſtand ſo much, and therefore comes to ſpeak with you. I told him you were aſleepe, he ſeems to haue a fore knowledge of that too, and therefore comes to ſpeake with you. What is to be ſaid to him Ladie, hee's fortified againſt any deniall.
Tell him, he ſhall not ſpeake with me.
Ha's beene told ſo: and hee ſayes hee'l ſtand at your doore like a Sheriffes poſt, and be the ſupporter to a bench, but hee'l ſpeake with you.
What kinde o' man is he?
Why of mankinde.
What manner of man?
Of verie ill manner: hee'l ſpeake with you, will you, or no.
Of what perſonage, and yeeres is he?
Not yet old enough for a man, nor yong enough for a boy: as a ſquaſh is before tis a peſcod, or a Codling when tis almoſt an Apple: Tis with him in ſtanding wa
Let him approach: Call in my Gentlewoman.
Gentlewoman, my Lady calles.
The honorable Ladie of the houſe, which is ſhe?
Speake to me, I ſhall anſwer for her: your will.
Moſt radiant, exquiſite, and vnmatchable beau
Whence came you ſir?
I can ſay little more then I haue ſtudied, & that queſtion's out of my part. Good gentle one, giue mee modeſt aſſurance, if you be the Ladie of the houſe, that
Are you a Comedian?
No my profound heart: and yet (by the verie phangs of malice, I ſweare) I am not that I play. Are you the Ladie of the houſe?
If I do not vſurpe my ſelfe, I am.
Moſt certaine, if you are ſhe, you do vſurp your ſelfe: for what is yours to beſtowe, is, not yours to re
Come to what is important in't: I forgiue you the praiſe.
Alas, I tooke great paines to ſtudie it, and 'tis Poeticall.
It is the more like to be feigned, I pray you keep it in. I heard you were ſawcy at my gates, & allowd your approach rather to wonder at you, then to heare you. If you be not mad, be gone: if you haue reaſon, be breefe: 'tis not that time of Moone with me, to make one in ſo skipping a dialogue.
Will you hoyſt ſayle ſir, here lies your way.
No good ſwabber, I am to hull here a little lon
Sure you haue ſome hiddeous matter to deliuer, when the curteſie of it is ſo fearefull. Speake your office.
It alone concernes your eare: I bring no ouer
Yet you began rudely. What are you? What would you?
The rudeneſſe that hath appear'd in mee, haue I learn'd from my entertainment. What I am, and what I would, are as ſecret as maiden-head: to your eares, Di
Moſt ſweet Ladie.
A comfortable doctrine, and much may bee ſaide of it. Where lies your Text?
In Orſinoes boſome.
In his boſome? In what chapter of his boſome?
To anſwer by the method in the firſt of his hart.
O, I haue read it: it is hereſie. Haue you no more to ſay?
Good Madam, let me ſee your face.
Haue you any Commiſsion from your Lord, to negotiate with my face: you are now out of your Text: but we will draw the Curtain, and ſhew you the picture. Looke you ſir, ſuch a one I was this preſent: Iſt not well done?
Excellently done, if God did all.
'Tis in graine ſir, 'twill endure winde and wea
O ſir, I will not be ſo hard-hearted: I will giue out diuers ſcedules of my beautie. It ſhalbe Inuentoried and euery particle and vtenſile labell'd to my will: As, Item two lippes indifferent redde, Item two grey eyes, with lids to them: Item, one necke, one chin, & ſo forth. Were you ſent hither to praiſe me?
How does he loue me?
Why, what would you?
Heere Madam, at your ſeruice.
Madam, I will.
Will you ſtay no longer: nor will you not that I go with you.
By your patience, no: my ſtarres ſhine darkely ouer me; the malignancie of my fate, might perhaps di
Let me yet know of you, whither you are bound.
No ſooth ſir: my determinate voyage is meere extrauagancie. But I perceiue in you ſo excellent a touch of modeſtie, that you will not extort from me, what I am willing to keepe in: therefore it charges me in manners, the rather to expreſſe my ſelfe: you muſt know of mee then Antonio, my name is Sebaſtian (which I call'd Rodorigo) my father was that
Alas the day.
A Lady ſir, though it was ſaid ſhee much reſem
Pardon me ſir, your bad entertainment.
O good Antonio, forgiue me your trouble.
If you will not murther me for my loue, let mee be your ſeruant.
If you will not vndo what you haue done, that is kill him, whom you haue recouer'd, deſire it not. Fare ye well at once, my boſome is full of kindneſſe, and I am yet ſo neere the manners of my mother, that vpon the leaſt occaſion more, mine eyes will tell tales of me: I am bound to the Count Orſino's Court, farewell.
Were not you eu'n now, with the Counteſſe Oliuia?
Euen now ſir, on a moderate pace, I haue ſince a
She returnes this Ring to you (ſir) you might haue ſaued mee my paines, to haue taken it away your ſelfe. She adds moreouer, that you ſhould put your Lord into a deſperate aſſurance, ſhe will none of him. And one thing more, that you be neuer ſo hardie: o come againe in his affaires, vnleſſe it bee to report your Lords taking of this: receiue it ſo.
She tooke the Ring of me, Ile none of it.
Come ſir, you peeuiſhly threw it to her: and her will is, it ſhould be ſo return'd: If it bee worth ſtoo
Approach Sir Andrew: not to bee a bedde after midnight, is to be vp betimes, and Deliculo ſurgere, thou know'ſt.
Nay by my troth I know not: but I know, to be vp late, is to be vp late.
A falſe concluſion: I hate it as an vnfill'd Canne. To be vp after midnight, and to go to bed then is early: ſo that to go to bed after midnight, is to goe to bed be
Faith ſo they ſay, but I thinke it rather conſiſts of eating and drinking.
Th' art a ſcholler; let vs therefore eate and drinke Marian I ſay, a ſtoope of wine.
Heere comes the foole yfaith.
How now my harts: Did you neuer ſee the Pic
Welcome aſſe, now let's haue a catch.
By my troth the foole has an excellent breaſt. I had rather then forty ſhillings I had ſuch a legge, and ſo ſweet a breath to ſing, as the foole has. Inſooth thou waſt in very gracious fooling laſt night, when thou ſpok'ſt of Pigrogromitus, of the
Ʋapians paſsing the Equinoctial of
I did impeticos thy gratillity: for Maluolios noſe is no Whip-ſtocke. My Lady has a white hand, and the Mermidons are no bottle-ale houſes.
Excellent: Why this is the beſt fooling, when all is done. Now a ſong.
Come on, there is ſixe pence for you. Let's haue a ſong.
There's a teſtrill of me too: if one knight giue a
Would you haue a loue-ſong, or a ſong of good life?
A loue ſong, a loue ſong.
I, I. I care not for good life.
Excellent good, ifaith.
Good, good.
A mellifluous voyce, as I am true knight.
A contagious breath.
Very ſweet, and contagious ifaith.
To heare by the noſe, it is dulcet in contagion. But ſhall we make the Welkin dance indeed? Shall wee rowze the night-Owle in a Catch, that will drawe three ſoules out of one Weauer? Shall we do that?
And you loue me, let's doo't: I am dogge at a Catch.
Byrlady ſir, and ſome dogs will catch well.
Moſt certaine: Let our Catch be, Thou Knaue.
Hold thy peace, thou Knaue knight. I ſhall be con
'Tis not the firſt time I haue conſtrained one to call me knaue. Begin foole: it begins, Hold thy peace.
I ſhall neuer begin if I hold my peace.
Good ifaith: Come begin.
What a catterwalling doe you keepe heere? If my Ladie haue not call'd vp her Steward Maluolio, and bid him turne you out of doores, neuer truſt me.
My Lady's a Catayan, we are politicians, Maluolios a Peg-a-ramſie, and Three merry men be wee. Am not I conſanguinious? Am I not of her blood: tilly vally. LaThere dwelt a man in Babylon, Lady, Lady.
Beſhrew me, the knights in admirable fooling.
I, he do's well enough if he be diſpos'd, and ſo do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more naturall.
O the twelfe day of December.
For the loue o' God peace.
My maſters are you mad? Or what are you? Haue you no wit, manners, nor honeſtie, but to gabble like Tinkers at this time of night? Do yee make an Ale
We did keepe time ſir in our Catches. Snecke vp.
Sir Toby, I muſt be round with you. My Lady bad me tell you, that though ſhe harbors you as her kinſ
Farewell deere heart, ſince I muſt needs be gone.
Nay good Sir Toby.
His eyes do ſhew his dayes are almoſt done.
Is't euen ſo?
But I will neuer dye.
Sir Toby there you lye.
This is much credit to you.
Shall I bid him go.
What and if you do?
Shall I bid him go, and ſpare not?
O no, no, no, no, you dare not.
Out o' tune ſir, ye lye: Art any more then a Stew
Yes by S. Anne, and Ginger ſhall bee hotte y' th mouth too.
Th' art i' th right. Goe ſir, rub your Chaine with crums. A ſtope of Wine Maria.
Miſtris Mary, if you priz'd my Ladies ſauour at any thing more then contempt, you would not giue meanes for this vnciuill rule; the ſhall know of it by this hand.
Go ſhake your eares.
'Twere as good a deede as to drink when a mans a hungrie, to challenge him the field, and then to breake promiſe with him, and make a foole of him.
Doo't knight, Ile write thee a Challenge: or Ile deliuer thy indignation to him by word of mouth.
Sweet Sir Toby be patient for to night: Since the youth of the Counts was to day with my Lady, ſhe is much out of quiet. For Monſieur Maluolio, let me alone with him: If I do not gull him into an ayword, and make him a common recreation, do not thinke I haue witte e
Poſſeſſe vs, poſſeſſe vs, tell vs ſomething of him.
Marrie ſir, ſometimes he is a kinde of Puritane.
O, if I thought that, Ide beate him like a dogge.
What for being a Puritan, thy exquiſite reaſon, deere knight.
I haue no exquiſite reaſon for't, but I haue reaſon good enough.
The diu'll a Puritane that hee is, or any thing conſtantly but a time-pleaſer, an affection'd Aſſe, that cons State without booke, and vtters it by great ſwarths. The beſt perſwaded of himſelfe: ſo cram'd (as he thinkes) with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith, that all that looke on him, loue him: and on that vice in him, will my reuenge finde notable cauſe to worke.
What wilt thou do?
I will drop in his way ſome obſcure Epiſtles of loue, wherein by the colour of his beard, the ſhape of his legge, the manner of his gate, the expreſſure of his eye, forehead, and complection, he ſhall finde himſelfe moſt feelingly perſonated. I can write very like my Ladie your Neece, on a forgotten matter wee can hardly make diſtinction of our hands.
Excellent, I ſmell a deuice.
I hau't in my noſe too.
He ſhall thinke by the Letters that thou wilt drop
My purpoſe is indeed a horſe of that colour.
And your horſe now would make him an Aſſe.
Aſſe, I doubt not.
O twill be admirable.
Sport royall I warrant you: I know my Phy
Good night Penthiſilea.
Before me ſhe's a good wench.
She's a beagle true bred, and one that adores me: what o' that?
I was ador'd once too.
Let's to bed knight: Thou hadſt neede ſend for more money.
If I cannot recouer your Neece, I am a foule way out.
Send for money knight, if thou haſt her not i' th end, call me Cut.
If I do not, neuer truſt me, take it how you will.
Come, come, Ile go burne ſome Sacke, tis too late to go to bed now: Come knight, come knight.
He is not heere (ſo pleaſe your Lordſhippe) that ſhould ſing it?
Who was it?
Feſt
the leſter my Lord, a foole that the Ladie
Seeke him out, and play the tune the while.
A little, by your fauour.
What kinde of woman iſt?
Of your complection.
She is not worth thee then. What yeares ifaith?
About your yeeres my Lord.
I thinke it well my Lord.
Are you ready Sir?
I prethee ſing.
There's for thy paines.
No paines ſir, I take pleaſure in ſinging ſir.
Ile pay thy pleaſure then.
Truely ſir, and pleaſure will be paide one time, or another.
Giue me now leaue, to leaue thee.
Now the melancholly God protect thee, and the Tailor make thy doublet of changeable Taffata, for thy minde is a very Opall. I would haue men of ſuch conſtan
But if ſhe cannot loue you ſir.
It cannot be ſo anſwer'd.
I but I know.
What doſt thou knowe?
And what's her hiſtory?
Come thy wayes Signior Fabian.
Nay Ile come: if I looſe a ſcruple of this ſport, let me be boyl'd to death with Melancholly.
Wouldſt thou not be glad to haue the niggard
I would exult man: you know he brought me out o' fauour with my Lady, about a Beare-baiting heere.
To anger him wee'l haue the Beare againe, and we will foole him blacke and blew, ſhall we not ſir Andrew?
And we do not, it is pittie of our liues.
Heere comes the little villaine: How now my Mettle of India?
Get ye all three into the box tree: Maluolio's comming downe this walke, he has beene yonder i' the Sunne practiſing behauiour to his own ſhadow this halfe houre: obſerue him for the loue of Mockerie: for I know this Letter wil make a contemplatiue Ideot of him. Cloſe in the name of ieaſting, lye thou there: for heere comes the Trowt, that muſt be caught with tickling.
'Tis but Fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me ſhe did affect me, and I haue heard her ſelf come thus neere, that ſhould ſhee fancie, it ſhould bee one of my complection. Beſides ſhe vſes me with a more ex
Heere's an ouer-weening rogue.
Oh peace: Contemplation makes a rare Turkey Cocke of him, how he iets vnder his aduanc'd plumes.
Slight I could ſo beate the Rogue.
Peace I ſay.
To be Count Maluolio.
Ah Rogue.
Piſtoll him, piſtoll him.
Peace, peace.
There is example for't: The Lady of the Strachy, married the yeoman of the wardrobe.
Fie on him Iezabel.
O peace, now he's deepely in: looke how imagi
Hauing beene three moneths married to her, ſitting in my ſtate.
O for a ſtone-bow to hit him in the eye.
Calling my Officers about me, in my branch'd Veluet gowne: hauing come from a day bedde, where I haue left Oliuia ſleeping.
Fire and Brimſtone.
O peace, peace.
And then to haue the humor of ſtate: and after a demure trauaile of regard: telling them I knowe my place, as I would they ſhould doe theirs: to aske for my kinſman Toby.
Boltes and ſhackles.
Oh peace, peace, peace, now, now.
Seauen of my people with an obedient ſtart, make out for him: I frowne the while, and perchance winde vp my watch, or play with my ſome rich Iewell: Toby approaches; curtſies there to me.
Shall this fellow liue?
Though our ſilence be drawne from vs with cars, yet peace.
I extend my hand to him thus: quenching my familiar ſmile with an auſtere regard of controll.
And do's not Toby take you a blow o' the lippes, then?
Saying, Coſine Toby, my Fortunes hauing caſt me on your Neece, giue me this prerogatiue of ſpeech.
What, what?
You muſt amend your drunkenneſſe.
Out ſcab.
Nay patience, or we breake the ſinewes of our plot?
Beſides you waſte the treaſure of your time, with a fooliſh knight.
That's mee I warrant you.
One ſir Andrew.
I knew 'twas I, for many do call mee foole.
What employment haue we heere?
Now is the Woodcocke neere the gin.
Oh peace, and the ſpirit of humors intimate rea
By my life this is my Ladies hand: theſe bee her very C's ▪
her
Her C's, her
Ʋ's, and her
To the vnknowne belou'd, this, and my good Wiſhes: Her very PhraLucrece, with which ſhe vſes to ſeale: tis my Lady: To whom ſhould this be?
This winnes him, Liuer and all.
Marrie hang thee brocke.
A fuſtian riddle.
Excellent Wench, ſay I.
M.O.A.I. doth ſway my life. Nay but firſt let me ſee, let me ſee, let me ſee.
What diſh a poyſon has ſhe dreſt him?
And with what wing the ſtallion checkes at it?
I may command, where I adore: Why ſhee may command me: I ſerue her, ſhe is my Ladie. Why this is euident to any formall capacitie. There is no obſtruction in this, and the end: What ſhould that Alphabeticall poM.O.A.I.
O I, make vp that, he is now at a cold ſent.
Sowter will cry vpon't for all this, though it bee as ranke as a Fox.
M. Maluolio, M. why that begins my name.
Did not I ſay he would worke it out, the Curre is excellent at faults.
M. But then there is no conſonancy in the ſequell that ſuffers vnder probation: A. ſhould follow, but O. does.
And O ſhall end, I hope.
I, or Ile cudgell him, and make him cry O.
And then I. comes behind.
I, and you had any eye behinde you, you
M, O, A, I. This ſimulation is not as the former: and yet to cruſh this a little, it would bow to mee, for eIf this fall into thy hand, reuolue. In my ſtars I am aboue thee, but be not affraid of greatneſſe: Some are become great, ſome atcheeues greatneſſe, and ſome haue greatneſſe thruſt vppon em. Thy fates open theyr hands, let thy blood and ſpirit embrace them, and to inToby, I will waſh off groſſe acquaintance, I will be point deuiſe, the very man. I do not now foole my ſelfe, to let imagination iade mee; for euery reaſon excites to this, that my Lady loues me. She did commend my yellow ſtockings of late, ſhee did praiſe my legge being croſſe-garter'd, and in this ſhe manifeſts her ſelfe to my loue, & with a kinde of iniunction driues mee to theſe habites of her liking. I thanke my ſtarres, I am happy: I will bee ſtrange, ſtout, in yellow ſtockings, and croſſe Garter'd, euen with the ſwiftneſſe of putting on. Ioue, and my ſtarres be praiſed. Heere is yet a poſtſcript. Thou canſt not chooſe but know who I am. If thou entertainſt my loue, let it appeare in thy ſmiling, thy ſmiles become thee well. Therefore in my preſence ſtill ſmile, deero my ſweete, I prethee. Ioue I thanke thee, I will ſmile, I wil do euery thing that thou wilt haue me.
I will not giue my part of this ſport for a penſi
I could marry this wench for this deuice.
So could I too.
And aske no other dowry with her, but ſuch ano
Nor I neither.
Heere comes my noble gull catcher.
Wilt thou ſet thy foote o' my necke.
Or o' mine either?
Shall I play my freedome at tray-trip, and becom thy bondſlaue?
Ifaith, or I either?
Why, thou haſt put him in ſuch a dreame, that when the image of it leaues him, he muſt run mad.
Nay but ſay true, do's it worke vpon him?
Like Aqua vite with a Midwife.
If you will then ſee the fruites of the ſport, mark his firſt approach before my Lady: hee will come to her in yellow ſtockings, and 'tis a colour ſhe abhorres, and croſſe garter'd, a faſhion ſhee deteſts: and hee will ſmile vpon her, which will now be ſo vnſuteable to her diſpo
To the gates of Tartar, thou moſt excellent diuell of wit.
Ile make one too.
Saue thee Friend and thy Muſick: doſt thou liue by thy Tabor?
No ſir, I liue by the Church.
Art thou a Churchman?
No ſuch matter ſir, I do liue by the Church: For, I do liue at my houſe, and my houſe dooth ſtand by the Church
So thou maiſt ſay the Kings lyes by a begger, if a begger dwell neer him: or the Church ſtands by thy Ta
You haue ſaid ſir: To ſee this age: A ſentence is but a cheu'rill gloue to a good witte, how quickely the wrong ſide may be turn'd outward.
Nay that's certaine: they that dally nicely with words, may quickely make them wanton.
I would therefore my ſiſter had had no name Sir.
Why man?
Why ſir, her names a word, and to dallie with that word, might make my ſiſter wanton: But indeede, words are very Raſcals, ſince bonds diſgrac'd them.
Thy reaſon man?
Troth ſir, I can yeeld you none without wordes, and wordes are growne ſo falſe, I am loath to proue rea
I warrant thou art a merry fellow, and car'ſt for nothing.
Not ſo ſir, I do care for ſomething: but in my con
Art not thou the Lady Oliuia's foole?
No indeed ſir, the Lady Oliuia has no folly, ſhee will keepe no foole ſir, till ſhe be married, and fooles are as like husbands, as Pilchers are to Herrings, the Huſ
I ſaw thee late at the Count Orſino's.
Foolery ſir, does walke about the Orbe like the Sun, it ſhines euery where. I would be ſorry ſir, but the Foole ſhould be as oft with your Maſter, as with my Mi
Nay, and thou paſſe vpon me, Ile no more with thee. Hold there's expences for thee.
Now Ioue in his next commodity of hayre, ſend thee a beard.
By my troth Ile tell thee, I am almoſt ſicke for one, though I would not haue it grow on my chinne. Is thy Lady within?
Would not a paire of theſe haue bred ſir?
Yes being kept together, and put to vſe.
I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia ſir, to bring a Creſſida to this Troylus.
I vnderſtand you ſir, tis well begg'd.
The matter I hope is not great ſir; begging, but a begger: Creſſida was a begger. My Lady is within ſir. I will conſter to them whence you come, who you are, and what you would are out of my welkin, I might ſay Ele
Saue you Gentleman.
And you ſir.
Dieu vou guard Monſieur.
Et vouz ouſie voſtre ſeruiture.
I hope ſir, you are, and I am yours.
Will you incounter the houſe, my Neece is deſi
I am bound to your Neece ſir, I meane ſhe is the liſt of my voyage.
Taſte your legges ſir, put them to motion.
My legges do better vnderſtand me ſir, then I vn
I meane to go ſir, to enter.
I will anſwer you with gate and entrance, but we are preuented.
Moſt excellent accompliſh'd Lady, the heauens raine O
That youth's a rare Courtier, raine odours, wel.
My matter hath no voice Lady, but to your owne moſt pregnant and vouchſafed eare.
Odours, pregnant, and vouchſafed: Ile get 'em all three already.
Let the Garden doore be ſhut, and leaue mee to my hearing. Giue me your hand ſir.
My dutie Madam, and moſt humble ſeruice
What is your name?
Ceſario is your ſeruants name, faire Princeſſe.
My ſeruant ſir? 'Twas neuer merry world, Since lowly feigning was call'd complement: y' are ſeruant to the Count Orſino youth.
And he is yours, and his muſt needs be yours: your ſeruants ſeruant, is your ſeruant Madam.
Deere Lady.
I pittie you.
That's a degree to loue.
Stay: I prethee tell me what thou thinkſt of me?
That you do thinke you are not what you are.
If I thinke ſo, I thinke the ſame of you.
Then thinke you right: I am not what I am.
I would you were, as I would haue you be.
No faith, Ile not ſtay a iot longer:
Thy reaſon deere venom, giue thy reaſon.
You muſt needeAndrew?
Marry I ſaw your Neece do more fauours to the Counts Seruing-man, then euer ſhe beſtow'd vpon mee: I ſaw't i' th Orchard.
Did ſhe ſee the while, old boy, tell me that.
As plaine as I ſee you now.
This was a great argument of loue in her toward you.
S'light; will you make an Aſſe o'me.
I will proue it legitimate ſir, vpon the Oathes of iudgement, and reaſon.
And they haue beene grand Iurie men, ſince before Noah was a Saylor.
Shee did ſhew fauour to the youth in your ſight, onely to exaſperate you, to awake your dormouſe valour, to put fire in your Heart, and brimſtone in your Liuer: you ſhould then haue accoſted her, and with ſome excel
And't be any way, it muſt be with Valour, for policie I hate: I had as liefe be a Browniſt, as a Politi
Why then build me thy fortunes vpon the baſis of valour. Challenge me the Counts youth to ſight with him hurt him in eleuen places, my Neece ſhall take note of it, and aſſure thy ſelfe, there is no loue-Broker in the world, can more preuaile in mans commendation with woman, then report of valour.
There is no way but this ſir Andrew.
Will either of you beare me a challenge to him?
Ware in Eng
Where ſhall I finde you?
Wee'l call thee at the Cubiculo: Go.
This is a deere Manakin to you Sir Toby.
I haue beene deere to him lad, ſome two thouſand ſtrong, or ſo.
We ſhall haue a rare Letter from him; but you'le not deliuer't.
Neuer truſt me then: and by all meanes ſtirre on the youth to an anſwer. I thinke Oxen and waine-ropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were open'd and you finde ſo much blood in his Liuer, as will clog the foote of a flea, Ile eate the reſt of th' anatomy.
And his oppoſit the youth beares in his viſage no great preſage of cruelty.
Looke where the youngeſt Wren of mine comes.
If you deſire the ſpleene, and will laughe your ſelues into ſtitches, follow me; yond gull Maluolio is tur
And croſſe garter'd?
Moſt villanouſly: like a Pedant that keepes a Schoole i' th Church: I haue dogg'd him like his murthe
Come bring vs, bring vs where he is.
To morrow ſir, beſt firſt go ſee your Lodging?
Belike you ſlew great number of his people.
Do not then walke too open.
Why I your purſe?
To th' Elephant.
I do remember.
Why what's the matter, does he raue?
No Madam, he does nothing but ſmile: your La
Sweet Lady, ho, ho.
Smil'ſt thou? I ſent for thee vpon a ſad occaſion.
Not blacke in my minde, though yellow in my legges: It did come to his hands, and Commaunds ſhall be executed. I thinke we doe know the ſweet Romane hand.
Wilt thou go to bed Maluolio?
To bed? I ſweet heart, and Ile come to thee.
God comfort thee: Why doſt thou ſmile ſo, and kiſſe thy hand ſo oft?
How do you Maluolio?
Why appeare you with this ridiculous bold
Be not afraid of greatneſſe: 'twas well writ.
What meanſt thou by that Maluolio?
Some are borne great.
Ha?
Some atcheeue greatneſſe.
What ſayſt thou?
And ſome haue greatneſſe thruſt vpon them.
Heauen reſtore thee.
Remember who commended thy yellow ſtock
Thy yellow ſtockings?
And wiſh'd to ſee thee croſſe garter'd.
Croſſe garter'd?
Go too, thou art made, if thou deſir'ſt to be ſo.
Am I made?
If not, let me ſee thee a ſeruant ſtill.
Why this is verie Midſommer madneſſe.
Madame, the young Gentleman of the Count Orſino's is return'd, I could hardly entreate him backe: he attends your Ladyſhips pleaſure.
Good Maria, let this fellow be lookToby, let ſome of my people haue a ſpeciall care of him, I would not haue him miſcarrie for the halfe of my Dowry.
Oh ho, do you come neere me now: no worſe man then ſir Toby to looke to me. This concurres directMaluolio, nor after my degree, but Fellow. Why euery thing adheres togither, that no dramme of a ſcruple, no ſcruple of a ſcruple, no obſtacle, no incredulous or vnſafe circumſtance: What can be ſaide? Nothing that can be, can come betweene me, and the full proſpect of my hopes. Well Ioue, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.
Which way is hee in the name of ſanctity. If all the diuels of hell be drawne in little, and Legion himſelfe poſſeſt him, yet Ile ſpeake to him.
Go off, I diſcard you: let me enioy my priuate: go off.
Lo, how hollow the ſToby, my Lady prayes you to haue a care of him.
Ah ha, does ſhe ſo?
Go too, go too: peace, peace, wee muſt deale gently with him: Let me alone. How do you Maluolio? How iſt with you? What man, defie the diuell: conſider, he's an enemy to mankinde.
Do you know what you ſay?
La you, and you ſpeake ill of the diuell, how he takes it at heart Pray God he be not bewitch'd.
Carry his water to th' wiſe woman.
Marry and it ſhall be done to morrow morning if I liue. My Lady would not looſe him for more then ile ſay.
How now miſtris?
Oh Lord.
Prethee hold thy peace, this is not the way: Doe you not ſee you moue him? Let me alone with him.
No way but gentleneſſe, gently, gently: the Fiend is rough, and will not be roughly vs'd.
Why how now my bawcock? how doſt yu chuck?
Sir.
I biddy, come with me. What man, tis not for grauity to play at cherrie pit with ſathan Hang him foul Col
Get him to ſay his prayers, good ſir Toby gette him to pray.
My prayers Minx.
No I warrant you, he will not heare of godly
Go hang your ſelues all: you are ydle ſhallowe things, I am not of your element, you ſhall knowe more heereafter.
Iſt poſsible?
If this were plaid vpon a ſtage now, I could con
His very genius hath taken the infection of the deuice man.
Nay purſue him now, leaſt the deuice take ayre, and taint.
Why we ſhall make him mad indeede.
The houſe will be the quieter.
Come, wee'l haue him in a darke room & bound. My Neece is already in the beleefe that he's mad: we may carry it thus for our pleaſure, and his pennance, til our ve
More matter for a May morning.
Heere's the Challenge, reade it: I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't.
Iſt ſo ſawcy?
I, iſt? I warrant him: do but read.
Good, and valiant.
Wonder not, nor admire not in thy minde why I doe call thee ſo, for I will ſhew thee no reaſon for't.
A good note, that keepes you from the blow of ye Law
Thou comſt to the Lady Oliuia, and in my ſight ſhe vſes thee kindly: but thou lyeſt in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for.
Very breefe, and to exceeding good ſence-leſſe.
I will way-lay thee going home, where if it be thy chance to kill me.
Good.
Thou kilſt me like a rogue and a villaine.
Still you keepe o' th windie ſide of the Law: good.
Fartheewell, and God haue mercie vpon one of our ſoules. He may haue mercie vpon mine, but my hope is better, and ſo looke to thy ſelfe. Thy friend as thou vſeſt him, & thy ſworne enemie, Andrew Ague-cheeke.
You may haue verie ſit occaſion fot't: he is now in ſome commerce with my Ladie, and will by and by depart.
Go ſir Andrew: ſcout mee for him at the corner of the Orchard like a bum-Baylie: ſo ſoone as euer thou ſeeſt him, draw, and as thou draw'ſt, ſweare horrible: for
Nay let me alone for ſwearing.
Now will not I deliuer his Letter: for the behauiAgue-cheeke a notable report of valor, and driue the Gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receiue it) into a moſt hideous opinion of his rage, skill, furie, and impetuoſitie. This will ſo fright them both, that they wil kill one another by the looke, like Cockatrices.
Heere he comes with your Neece, giue them way till he take leaue, and preſently after him.
I wil meditate the while vpon ſome horrid meſſage for a Challenge.
Nothing but this, your true loue for my maſter.
I will acquit you.
Gentleman, God ſaue thee.
And you ſir.
That defence thou haſt, betake the too't: of what nature the wrongs are thou haſt done him, I knowe not: but thy intercepter full of deſpight, bloody as the Hun
You miſtake ſir I am ſure, no man hath any quar
You'l finde it otherwiſe I aſſure you: therefore, if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your gard: for your oppoſite hath in him what youth, ſtrength, skill, and wrath, can furniſh man withall.
I pray you ſir what is he?
He is knight dubb'd with vnhatch'd Rapier, and on carpet conſideration, but he is a diuell in priuate brall, ſoules and bodies hath he diuorc'd three, and his incenſe
I will returne againe into the houſe, and deſire ſome conduct of the Lady. I am no fighter, I haue heard of ſome kinde of men, that put quarrells purpoſely on o
Sir, no: his indignation deriues it ſelfe out of a ve
This is as vnciuill as ſtrange. I beſeech you doe me this courteous office, as to know of the Knight what my offence to him is: it is ſomething of my negligence, nothing of my purpoſe.
I will doe ſo. Signiour Fabian, ſtay you by this Gentleman, till my returne.
Pray you ſir, do you know of this matter?
I know the knight is incenſt againſt you, euen to a mortall arbitrement, but nothing of the circumſtance more.
I beſeech you what manner of man is he?
Nothing of that wonderfull promiſe to read him by his forme, as you are like to finde him in the proofe of his valour. He is indeede ſir, the moſt skilfull, bloudy, & fatall oppoſite that you could poſsibly haue found in anie part of Illyria: will you walke towards him, I will make your peace with him, if I can.
I ſhall bee much bound to you for't: I am one, that had rather go with ſir Prieſt, then ſir knight: I care not who knowes ſo much of my mettle.
Why man hee
Pox on't, Ile not meddle with him.
Plague on't, and I thought he had beene vallant, and ſo cunning in Fence, I'de haue ſeene him damn'd ere I'de haue challeng'd him. Let him let the matter ſlip, and Ile giue him my horſe, gray Capilet.
Ile make the motion: ſtand heere, make a good ſhew on't, this ſhall end without the perdition of ſoules, marry Ile ride your horſe as well as I ride you.
I haue his horſe to take vp the quarrell, I haue perſwaded him the youths a diuell.
He is as horribly conceited of him: and pants, & lookes pale, as if a Beare were at his heeles.
There's no remedie ſir, he will fight with you for's oath ſake: marrie hee hath better bethought him of his quarrell, and hee findes that now ſcarſe to bee worth tal
Pray God defend me: a little thing would make me tell them how much I lacke of a man.
Giue ground if you ſee him furious.
Come ſir Andrew, there's no remedie, the Gen
Pray God he keepe his oath.
I do aſſure you tis againſt my will.
You ſir? Why, what are you?
Nay, if you be an vndertaker, I am for you.
O good ſir Toby hold: heere come the Officers.
Ile be with you anon.
Pray ſir, put your ſword vp if you pleaſe.
Marry will I ſir: and for that I promis'd you Ile be as good as my word. Hee will beare you eaſily, and raines well.
This is the man, do thy Office.
Anthonio, I arreſt thee at the ſuit of Count Orſino
You do miſtake me ſir.
Come ſir away.
I muſt entreat of you ſome of that money.
Oh heauens themſelues.
Come ſir, I pray you go.
What's that to vs, the time goes by: Away.
Leade me on.
Come hither Knight, come hither Fabian: Weel whiſper ore a couplet or two of moſt ſage ſawes.
A very diſhoneſt paltry boy, and more a coward then a Hare, his diſhoneſty appeares, in leauing his frend heere in neceſſity, and denying him: and for his cowardFabian.
A Coward, a moſt deuout Coward, religious in it.
Slid Ile after him againe, and beate him.
Do, cuffe him ſoundly, but neuer draw thy ſword
And I do not.
Come, let's ſee the euent.
I dare lay any money, twill be nothing yet.
Will you make me beleeue, that I am not ſent for you?
Well held our yfaith: No, I do not know you, nor I am not ſent to you by my Lady, to bid you come ſpeake with her: nor your name is not Maſter C
nor this is not my noſe neyther: Nothing that is ſo, is ſo.
I prethee vent thy folly ſome-where elſe, thou know'ſt not me.
Vent my folly: He has heard that word of ſome great man, and now applyes it to a foole. Vent my fol
I prethee fooliſh greeke depart from me, there's money for thee, if you tarry longer, I ſhall giue worſe paiment.
By my troth thou haſt an open hand: theſe Wiſe
Now ſir, haue I met you again: ther's for you.
Hold ſir, or Ile throw your dagger ore the houſe.
This will I tell my Lady ſtraight, I would not be in ſome of your coats for two pence.
Come on ſir, hold.
Nay let him alone, Ile go another way to worke with him: Ile haue an action of Battery againſt him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I ſtroke him firſt, yet it's no matter for that.
Let go thy hand.
Come ſir, I will not let you go. Come my yong ſouldier put vp your yron: you are well fleſh'd: Come on.
What, what? Nay then I muſt haue an Ounce or two of this malapert blood from you.
Hold Toby, on thy life I charge thee hold.
Madam.
Nay come I prethee, would thoud'ſt be rul'd by me
Madam, I will.
O ſay ſo, and ſo be.
Nay, I prethee put on this gown, & this beard, make him beleeue thou art ſir Topas the Curate, doe it quickly. Ile call ſir Toby the whilſt.
Well, Ile put it on, and I will diſſemble my ſelfe in't, and I would I were the firſt that euer diſſembled in
Ioue bleſſe thee M. Parſon.
Bonos dies ſir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prage that neuer ſaw pen and inke, very wittily ſayd to a Neece of King Gorbodacke, that that is, is: ſo I being M. Parſon, am M. Parſon; for what is that, but that? and is, but is?
To him Topas.
What hoa, I ſay, Peace in this priſon.
The knaue counterfets well: a good knaue.
Who cals there?
Sir Topas the Curate, who comes to viſit Maluolio the Lunaticke.
Sir Topas, ſir Topas, good ſir Topas goe to my Ladie.
Out hyperbolicall fiend, how vexeſt thou this man? Talkeſt thou nothing but of Ladies?
Well ſaid M. Parſon.
Sir Topas, neuer was man thus wronged, good ſir Topas do not thinke I am mad: they haue layde mee heere in hideous darkneſſe.
Fye, thou diſhoneſt ſathan: I call thee by the moſt modeſt termes, for I am one of thoſe gentle ones, that will vſe the diuell himſelfe with curteſie: ſayſt thou that houſe is darke?
As hell ſir Topas.
Why it hath bay Windowes tranſparant as bari
I am not mad ſir Topas, I ſay to you this houſe is darke.
Madman thou erreſt: I ſay there is no darkneſſe but ignorance, in which thou art more puzel'd then the Aegyptians in their fogge.
I ſay this houſe is as darke as Ignorance, thogh Ignorance were as darke as hell; and I ſay there was ne
What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning Wilde-fowle?
That the ſoule of our grandam, might happily inhabite a bird.
What thinkſt thou of his opinion?
I thinke nobly of the ſoule, and no way aproue his opinion.
Fare thee well: remaine thou ſtill in darkeneſſe, thou ſhalt hold th' opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits, and feare to kill a Woodcocke, leſt thou diſ
Sir Topas, ſir Topas.
My moſt exquiſite ſir Topas.
Nay I am for all waters.
Thou mightſt haue done this without thy berd and gowne, he ſees thee not.
To him in thine owne voyce, and bring me word how thou findſt him: I would we were well ridde of this knauery. If he may bee conueniently deliuer'd, I would he were, for I am now ſo farre in offence with my Niece, that I cannot purſue with any ſafety this ſport the vppe
Hey Robin, iolly Robin, tell me how thy Lady does.
Foole.
My Lady is vnkind, perdie.
Foole.
Alas why is ſhe ſo?
Foole, I ſay.
She loues another. Who calles, ha?
Good foole, as euer thou wilt deſerue well at my hand, helpe me to a Candle, and pen, inke, and paper: as I am a Gentleman, I will liue to bee thankefull to thee for't.
M. Maluolio?
I good Foole.
Alas ſir, how fell you beſides your fiue witts?
Foole, there was neuer man ſo notoriouſlie a
But as well: then you are mad indeede, if you be no better in your wits then a foole.
They haue heere propertied me: keepe mee in darkeneſſe, ſend Miniſters to me, Aſſes, and doe all they can to face me out of my wits.
Aduiſe you what you ſay: the Miniſter is heere. Maluolio, Maluolio, thy wittes the heauens reſtore: en
Sir Topas.
Foole, foole, foole I ſay.
Alas ſir be patient. What ſay you ſir, I am ſhent for ſpeaking to you.
Good foole, helpe me to ſome light, and ſome paper, I tell thee I am as well in my wittes, as any man in Illyria.
Well-a-day, that you were ſir.
By this hand I am: good foole, ſome inke, pa
I will help you too't. But tel me true, are you not mad indeed, or do you but counterfeit.
Beleeue me I am not, I tell thee true.
Now as thou lou'ſt me, let me ſee his Letter.
Good M. Fabian, grant me another requeſt.
Any thing.
Do not deſire to ſee this Letter.
This is to giue a dogge, and in recompence deſire my dogge againe.
Belong you to the Lady Oliuia, friends?
I ſir, we are ſome of her trappings.
I know thee well: how doeſt thou my good Fellow?
Truely ſir, the better for my foes, and the worſe for my friends.
Iuſt the contrary: the better for thy friends.
No ſir, the worſe.
How can that be?
Marry ſir, they praiſe me, and make an aſſe of me, now my foes tell me plainly, I am an Aſſe: ſo that by my foes ſir, I profit in the knowledge of my ſelfe, and by my friends I am abuſed: ſo that concluſions to be as kiſſes, if your foure negatiues make your two affirmatiues, why then the worſe for my friends, and the better for my foes.
Why this is excellent.
By my troth ſir, no: though it pleaſe you to be one of my friends.
Thou ſhalt not be the worſe for me, there's gold.
But that it would be double dealing ſir, I would you could make it another.
O you giue me ill counſell.
Put your grace in your pocket ſir, for this once, and let your fleſh and blood obey it.
Well, I will be ſo much a ſinner to be a double dealer: there's another.
Primo, ſecundo, tertio, is a good play, and the olde ſaying is, the third payes for all: the triplex ſir, is a good tripping meaſure, or the belles of S. Bennet ſir, may put you in minde, one, two, three.
You can foole no more money out of mee at this throw: if you will let your Lady know I am here to ſpeak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty further.
Marry ſir, lullaby to your bountie till I come a
Here comes the man ſir, that did reſcue mee.
How can this be?
When came he to this Towne?
Madam:
Gracious Oliuia.
What do you ſay Ceſario? Good my Lord.
My Lord would ſpeake, my dutie huſhes me.
Still ſo cruell?
Still ſo conſtant Lord.
Euen what it pleaſe my Lord, that ſhal becom him
Where goes Ceſario?
Aye me deteſted, how am I beguil'd?
Who does beguile you? who does do you wrong?
Come, away.
Whether my Lord? Ceſario, Husband, ſtay.
Husband?
I Husband. Can he that deny?
Her husband, ſirrah?
No my Lord, not I.
My Lord, I do proteſt.
For the loue of God a Surgeon, ſend one preToby.
What's the matter?
H'as broke my head a-croſſe, and has giuen Sir Toby a bloody Coxcombe too: for the loue of God your helpe, I had rather then forty pound I were at home.
Who has done this ſir Andrew?
The Counts Gentleman, one Ceſario: we tooke him for a Coward, but hee's the verie diuell incardinate.
My Gentleman Ceſario?
Odd's lifelings heere he is: you broke my head for nothing, and that that I did, I was ſet on to do't by ſir Toby.
If a bloody coxcombe be a hurt, you haue hurt me: I thinke you ſet nothing by a bloody Coxecombe. Heere comes ſir Toby halting, you ſhall heare more: but if he had not beene in drinke, hee would haue tickel'd you other gates then he did.
How now Gentleman? how iſt with you?
O he's drunke ſir Toby an houre agone: his eyes were ſet at eight i' th morning.
Then he's a Rogue, and a paſſy meaſures panyn: I hate a drunken rogue.
Away with him? Who hath made this hauocke with them?
Ile helpe you ſir Toby, becauſe we'll be dreſt to
Will you helpe an Aſſe-head, and a coxcombe, & a knaue: a thin fac'd knaue, a gull?
Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd too.
Sebaſtian are you?
Fear'ſt thou that Anthonio?
Moſt wonderfull.
My father had a moale vpon his brow.
And ſo had mine.
Truely Madam, he holds Belzebub at the ſtaues end as well as a man in his caſe may do: has heere writ a letter to you, I ſhould haue giuen't you to day morning. But as a madmans Epiſtles are no Goſpels, ſo it skilles not much when they are deliuer'd.
Open't, and read it.
Looke then to be well edified, when the Foole deliuers the Madman. By the Lord Madam.
How now, art thou mad?
No Madam, I do but reade madneſſe: and your Ladyſhip will haue it as it ought to bee, you muſt allow Vox.
Prethee reade i' thy right wits.
So I do Madona: but to reade his right wits, is to reade thus: therefore, perpend my Princeſſe, and giue eare.
Read it you, ſirrah.
Reads. By the Lord Madam, you wrong me, and the world ſhall know it: Though you haue put mee into darkeneſſe, and giuen your drunken Coſine rule ouer me, yet haue I the benefit of my ſenſes as well as your Ladie
Did he write this?
I Madame.
This ſauours not much of diſtraction.
A ſiſter, you are ſhe.
Is this the Madman?
I my Lord, this ſame: How now Maluolio?
Haue I Maluolio? No.
Alas poore Foole, how haue they baffel'd thee?
Why ſome are borne great, ſome atchieue greatTopas ſir, but that's all one: By the Lotd Foole, I am not mad: but do you re
Ile be reueng'd on the whole packe of you?
He hath bene moſt notoriouſly abus'd.
(Camillo) to viſit Bohemia, on the like occaſion whereon my ſeruices are now on-foot, you ſhall ſee (as I haue ſaid) great difBohemia, and your Sicilia.
I thinke, this comming Summer, the King of Sicilia meanes to pay Bohemia the Viſitation, which hee iuſtly owes him.
Wherein our Entertainment ſhall ſhame vs: we will be iuſtified in our Loues: for indeed—
'Beſeech you—
Verely I ſpeake it in the freedome of my know
You pay a great deale to deare, for what's giuen freely.
'Beleeue me, I ſpeake as my vnderſtanding in
Sicilia cannot ſhew himſelfe ouer-kind to Bohemia: They were trayn'd together in their Child-hoods; and there rooted betwixt them then ſuch an affection, which cannot chuſe but braunch now. Since their more mature Dignities, and Royall Neceſſities, made ſeperati
I thinke there is not in the World, either Malice or Matter, to alter it. You haue an vnſpeakable comfort of your young Prince Mamillius: it is a Gentleman of the greateſt Promiſe, that euer came into my Note.
I very well agree with you, in the hopes of him: it is a gallant Child; one, that (indeed) Phyſicks the Sub
Would they elſe be content to die?
Yes; if there were no other excuſe, why they ſhould deſire to liue.
If the King had no Sonne, they would deſire to liue on Crutches till he had one.
No longer ſtay.
One Seue'night longer.
Very ſooth, to morrow.
Wee'le part the time betweene's then: and in that Ile no gaine-ſaying.
Tongue-ty'd our Queene? ſpeake you.
Well ſaid, Hermione.
No, Madame.
Nay, but you will?
I may not verely.
Is he woon yet?
Hee'le ſtay (my Lord.)
Neuer?
Neuer, but once.
I, my good Lord.
Yes, if you will (my Lord.)
What meanes Sicilia?
He ſomething ſeemes vnſetled.
How? my Lord?
What cheere? how is't with you, beſt Brother?
No (my Lord) Ile fight.
I am like you ſay.
I, my good Lord.
Didſt note it?
At the good Queenes entreatie.
Buſineſſe, my Lord? I thinke moſt vnderſtand Bohemia ſtayes here longer.
Ha?
Stayes here longer.
I, but why?
Be it forbid (my Lord.)
Say it be, 'tis true.
No, no, my Lord.
Who do's infect her?
Ile do't, my Lord.
I wil ſeeme friendly, as thou haſt aduis'd me.
Hayle moſt Royall Sir.
What is the Newes i' th' Court?
None rare (my Lord.)
I dare not know (my Lord.)
I may not anſwere.
On, good Camillo.
I am appointed him to murther you.
By whom, Camillo?
By the King.
For what?
How ſhould this grow?
No, Ile none of you.
Why (my ſweet Lord?)
And why ſo (my Lord?)
Who taught 'this?
Blew (my Lord.)
Merry, or ſad, ſhal't be?
As merry as you will.
There was a man.
Nay, come ſit downe: then on.
Come on then, and giu't me in mine care.
Was hee met there? his Traine? Camillo with him?
What is this? Sport?
Shall I be heard?
Goe, doe our bidding: hence.
Beſeech your Highneſſe call the Queene againe.
Hold your peaces.
Good my Lord.
What? lacke I credit?
Well done (my Lord.)
A boy?
I do beleeue it.
My Lord.
How do's the boy?
You muſt not enter.
That's enough.
Who noyſe there, hoe?
What? canſt not rule her?
Good Queene?
Force her hence.
He dreads his Wife.
A neſt of Traitors.
I am none, by this good light.
Once more take her hence.
Ile h
You're lyers all.
I will (my Lord.)
Reade the Indictment.
Hermione, Queene to the worthy Leontes, King of Sicilia, thou art here accuſed and arraigned of High Treaſon, in committing Adultery with Polixenes
You will not owne it.
All this we ſweare.
Breake vp the Seales, and read.
Hermione is chaſt, Polixenes blameleſſe, Camillo a true Subiect, Leontes a iealous Tyrant, his innocent Babe truly begotten, and the King ſhall liue without an Heire, if that which is loſt, be not found.
Now bleſſed be the great Apollo.
Prayſed.
Haſt thou read truth?
I (my Lord) euen ſo as it is here ſet downe.
My Lord the King: the King?
What is the buſineſſe?
How? gone?
Is dead.
What fit is this? good Lady?
The higher powres forbid.
I would there were no age betweene ten and three and twenty, or that youth would ſleep out the reſt: for there is nothing (in the betweene) but getting wen
Hilloa, loa.
What? art ſo neere? If thou'lt ſee a thing to talke on, when thou art dead and rotten, come hither: what ayl'ſt thou, man?
I haue ſeene two ſuch ſights, by Sea & by Land: but I am not to ſay it is a Sea, for it is now the skie, be
Why boy, how is it?
I would you did but ſee how it chaſes, how it raAntigonus, a Nobleman: But to make an end of the Ship, to ſee how the Sea flap
Name of mercy, when was this boy?
Now, now: I haue not wink'd ſince I ſaw theſe ſights: the men are not yet cold vnder water, nor the Beare halfe din'd on the Gentleman: he's at it now.
Would I had bin by, to haue help'd the olde man.
I would you had beene by the ſhip ſide, to haue help'd her; there your charity would haue lack'd footing.
Heauy matters, heauy matters: but looke thee heere boy. Now bleſſe thy ſelfe: thou met'ſt with things dying, I with things new borne Here's a ſight for thee: Looke thee, a bearing-cloath for a Squires childe: looke thee heere, take vp, take vp (Boy:) open't: ſo, let's ſee, it was told me I ſhould be rich by the Fairies. This is ſome Changeling: open't: what's within, boy?
You're a mad olde man: If the ſinnes of your youth are forgiuen you, you're well to liue. Golde, all Gold.
This is Faiery Gold boy, and 'twill proue ſo: vp with't, keepe it cloſe: home, home, the next way. We are luckie (boy) and to bee ſo ſtill requires nothing but ſecrecie. Let my ſheepe go: Come (good boy) the next way home.
Go you the next way with your Findings, Ile go ſee if the Beare bee gone from the Gentleman, and how much he hath eaten: they are neuer curſt but when they are hungry: if there be any of him left, Ile bury it.
That's a good deed: if thou mayeſt diſcerne by that which is left of him, what he is, fetch me to th' ſight of him.
'Marry will I: and you ſhall helpe to put him i' th' ground.
'Tis a lucky day, boy, and wee'l do good deeds on't
I pray thee (good Camillo) be no more importu
It is fifteene yeeres ſince I ſaw my Countrey: though I haue (for the moſt part) bin ayred abroad, I de
As thou lou'ſt me (Camillo) wipe not out the reſt of thy ſeruices, by leauing me now: the neede I haue of thee, thine owneFlorizell my ſon? Kings are no leſſe vnhappy, their iſſue, not being gracious, then they are in looſing them, when they haue approued their Vertues.
Sir, it is three dayes ſince I ſaw the Prince: what his happier affayres may be, are to me vnknowne: but I haue (miſsingly) noted, he is of late much retyred from Court, and is leſſe frequent to his Princely exerciſes then formerly he hath appeared.
I haue conſidered ſo much (Camillo) and with ſome care, ſo farre, that I haue eyes vnder my ſeruice, which looke vpon his remouedneſſe: from whom I haue this Intelligence, that he is ſeldome from the houſe of a moſt homely ſhepheard: a man (they ſay) that from very nothing, and beyond the imagination of his neighbors, is growne into an vnſpeakable eſtate.
I haue heard (ſir) of ſuch a man, who hath a daughter of moſt rare note: the report of her is extended more, then can be thought to begin from ſuch a cottage
That's likewiſe part of my Intelligence: but (I feare) the Angle that pluckes our ſonne thither. Thou ſhalt accompany vs to the place, where we will (not ap
I willingly obey your command.
My beſt Camillo, we muſt diſguiſe our ſelues.
I haue ſeru'd Prince Florizell, and in my time wore three pile, but now I am out of ſeruice.
My Trafficke is ſheetes: when the Kite builds, looke to leſſer LinneAutolicus, who be
Let me ſee, euery Leauen-weather toddes, euery tod yeeldes pound and odde ſhilling: fifteene hundred ſhorne, what comes the wooll too?
If the ſprindge hold, the Cocke's mine.
I cannot do't without Compters. Let mee ſee, what am I to buy for our Sheepe-ſhearing-Feaſt? Three pound of Sugar, fiue pound of Currence, Rice: What will this ſiſter of mine do with Rice? But my father hath made her Miſtris of the Feaſt, and ſhe layes it on. Shee hath made-me four and twenty Noſe-gayes for the ſhea
Oh, that euer I was borne.
I' th' name of me.
Oh helpe me, helpe mee: plucke but off theſe ragges: and then, death, death.
Alacke poore ſoule, thou haſt need of more rags to lay on thee, rather then haue theſe off.
Oh ſir, the loathſomneſſe of them offend mee, more then the ſtripes I haue receiued, which are mightie ones and millions.
Alas poore man, a million of beating may come to a great matter.
I am rob'd ſir, and beaten: my money, and ap
What, by a horſe-man, or a foot-man?
A footman (ſweet ſir) a footman.
Indeed, he ſhould be a footman, by the garments he has left with thee: If this bee a horſemans Coate, it hath ſeene very hot ſeruice. Lend me thy hand, Ile helpe thee. Come, lend me thy hand.
Oh good ſir, tenderly, oh.
Alas poore ſoule.
Oh good ſir, ſoftly, good ſir: I feare (ſir) my ſhoulder-blade is out.
How now? Canſt ſtand?
Softly, deere ſir: good ſir, ſoftly: you ha done me a charitable office.
Doeſt lacke any mony? I haue a little mony for thee.
No, good ſweet ſir: no, I beſeech you ſir: I haue a Kinſman not paſt three quarters of a mile hence, vnto whome I was going: I ſhall there haue money, or anie thing I want: Offer me no money I pray you, that killes my heart.
What manner of Fellow was hee that robb'd you?
A fellow (ſir) that I haue knowne to goe about with Troll-my-dames: I knew him once a ſeruant of the Prince: I cannot tell good ſir, for which of his Ver
His vices you would ſay: there's no vertue whipt out of the Court: they cheriſh it to make it ſtay there; and yet it will no more but abide.
Vices I would ſay (Sir.) I know this man well, he hath bene ſince an Ape-bearer, then a Proceſſe-ſeruer (a Bayliffe) then hee compaſt a Motion of the Prodigall ſonne, and married a Tinkers wife, within a Mile where my Land and Liuing lyes; and (hauing flowne ouer maAutolicus.
Out vpon him: Prig, for my life Prig: he haunts Wakes, Faires, and Beare-baitings.
Very true ſir: he ſir hee: that's the Rogue that put me into this apparrell.
Not a more cowardly Rogue in all Bohemia; If you had but look'd bigge, and ſpit at him, hee'ld haue runne.
I muſt confeſſe to you (ſir) I am no fighter: I am falſe of heart that way, & that he knew I warrant him.
How do you now?
Sweet ſir, much better then I was: I can ſtand, and walke: I will euen take my leaue of you, & pace ſoft
Shall I bring thee on the way?
No, good fac'd ſir, no ſweet ſir.
Then fartheewell, I muſt go buy Spices for our ſheepe-ſhearing.
Proſper you ſweet ſir. Your purſe is not hot e
So it is.
What? like a Coarſe?
Ile ſweare for 'em.
Come on: ſtrike vp.
Mopſa muſt be your Miſtris: marry Garlick to mend her kiſſing with.
Now in good time.
She dances fearly.
O Maſter: if you did but heare the Pedler at the doore, you would neuer dance againe after a Tabor and Pipe: no, the Bag-pipe could not moue you: hee ſinges ſeuerall Tunes, faſter then you'l tell money: hee vtters them as he had eaten ballads, and all mens eares grew to his Tunes.
He could neuer come better: hee ſhall come in: I loue a ballad but euen too well, if it be dolefull matter merrily ſet downe: or a very pleaſant thing indeede, and ſung lamentably.
He hath ſongs for man, or woman, of all ſizes: No Milliner can ſo fit his cuſtomers with Gloues: he has the prettieſt Loue-ſongs for Maids, ſo without bawdrie (which is ſtrange,) with ſuch delicate burthens of DilWhoop, doe me no harme good man: put's him off, ſlights him, with Whoop, doe mee no harme good man.
This is a braue fellow.
Beleeee mee, thou talkeſt of an admirable con
Hee hath Ribbons of all the colours i' th RaineBohemia, can learnedly handle, though they come to him by th' groſſe: Inckles, Caddyſſes, Cambrickes, Lawnes: why he ſings em ouer, as they were Gods, or Goddeſſes: you would thinke a Smocke were a ſhee-Angell, he ſo chauntes to the ſleeue-hand, and the worke about the ſquare on't:
Pre'thee bring him in, and let him approach ſin
Forewarne him, that he vſe no ſcurrilous words in's tunes.
You haue of theſe Pedlers, that haue more in them, then youl'd thinke (Siſter.)
I, good brother, or go about to thinke.
If I were not in loue with Mopſa, thou ſhouldſt take no money of me, but being enthrall'd as I am, it will alſo be the bondage of certaine Ribbons and Gloues.
I was promis'd them againſt the Feaſt, but they come not too late now.
He hath promis'd you more then that, or there be lyars.
He hath paid you all he promis'd you: 'May be he has paid you more, which will ſhame you to giue him againe.
Is there no manners left among maids? Will they weare their plackets, where they ſhould bear their faces? Is there not milking-time? When you are going to bed? Or kill-hole? To whiſtle of theſe ſecrets, but you muſt be tittle-tatling before all our gueſts? 'Tis well they are whiſpring: clamor your tongues, and not a word more.
I haue done; Come you promis'd me a tawdry-lace, and a paire of ſweet Gloues.
Haue I not told thee how I was cozen'd by the way, and loſt all my money.
And indeed Sir, there are Cozeners abroad, ther
Feare not thou man, thou ſhalt loſe nothing here
I hope ſo ſir, for I haue about me many parcels of charge.
What haſt heere? Ballads?
Pray now buy ſome: I loue a ballet in print, a life, for then we are ſure they are true.
Here's one, to a very dolefull tune, how a Vſu
Is it true, thinke you?
Very true, and but a moneth old.
Bleſſe me from marrying a Vſurer.
Here's the Midwiues name to't: one Miſt. Tale-Porter, and fiue or ſix honeſt Wiues, that were preſent. Why ſhould I carry lyes abroad?
'Pray you now buy it.
Come-on, lay it by: and let's firſt ſee moe Bal
Here's another ballad of a Fiſh, that appeared vpon the coaſt, on wenſday the foureſcore of April, fortie thouſand fadom aboue water, & ſung this ballad againſt the hard hearts of maids: it was thought ſhe was a Wo
Is it true too, thinke you.
Fiue Iuſtices hands at it, and witneſſes more then my packe will hold.
Lay it by too; another.
This is a merry ballad, but a very pretty one.
Let's haue ſome merry ones.
Why this is a paſſing merry one, and goes to the tune of two maids wooing a man: there's ſcarſe a Maide weſtward but ſhe ſings it: 'tis in requeſt, I can tell you.
We can both ſing it: if thou'lt beare a part, thou ſhalt heare, 'tis in three parts.
We had the tune on't, a month agoe.
I can beare my part, you muſt know 'tis my oc
Get you hence, for I muſt goe
Where it fits not you to know.
Whether?
O Whether?
Whether?
Or thou goeſt to th' Grange, or Mill,
If to either thou doſt ill,
Neither.
What neither?
Neither:
Thou haſt ſworne my Loue to be,
Wee'l haue this ſong out anon by our ſelues: My Father, and the Gent
And you ſhall pay well for 'em.
Mayſter, there is three Carters, three Shept haue made
Away: Wee'l none on't; heere has beene too much homely foolery already. I know (Sir) wee wea
You wearie thoſe that refreſh vs: pray let's ſee theſe foure-threes of Heardſmen.
One three of them, by their owne report (Sir,) hath danc'd before the King: and not the worſt of the three, but iumpes twelue foote and a halfe by th' ſquire.
Leaue your prating, ſince theſe good men are pleaſ'd, let them come in: but quickly now.
Why, they ſtay at doore Sir.
Do, and be witneſſe too't.
And this my neighbour too?
Fairely offer'd.
This ſhewes a ſound affection.
I haue: but what of him?
Knowes he of this?
He neither do's, nor ſhall.
Let him know't.
He ſhall not.
Prethee let him.
No, he muſt not.
Oh my heart.
Euen he, my Lord.
Be aduis'd.
This is deſperate (ſir.)
Ha, ha, what a Foole Honeſtie is? and Truſt (his ſworne brother) a very ſimple Gentleman. I haue ſold all my Tromperie: not a counterfeit Stone, not a Ribbon, Glaſſe, Pomander, Browch, Table-booke, Ballad, Knife, Tape, Gloue, Shooe-tye, Bracelet, Horne-Ring, to keepe my Pack from faſting: they throng who ſhould buy firſt, as if my Trinkets had beene hallowed, and brought a be
And thoſe that you'le procure from King Leontes?
Shall ſatisfie your Father.
If they haue ouer-heard me now: why hanging.
I am a poore Fellow, Sir.
Why, be ſo ſtill: here's no body will ſteale that from thee: yet for the out-ſide of thy pouertie, we muſt make an exchange; therefore diſ-caſe thee inſtantly (thou muſt thinke there's a neceſſitie in't) and change Garments with this Gentleman: Though the penny-worth (on his ſide) be the worſt, yet hold thee, there's ſome boot.
I am a poore Fellow, Sir: (I know ye well enough.)
Nay prethee diſpatch: the Gentleman is halfe fled already.
Are you in earneſt, Sir? (I ſmell the trick on't.)
Diſpatch, I prethee.
Indeed I haue had Earneſt, but I cannot with conſcience take it.
Adieu, Sir.
The ſwifter ſpeed, the better.
I vnderſtand the buſineſſe, I heare it: to haue an open eare, a quick eye, and a nimble hand, is neceſſary for a Cut-purſe; a good Noſe is requiſite alſo, to ſmell out worke for th' other Sences. I ſee this is the time that the vniuſt man doth thriue. What an exchange had this been, without boot? What a boot is here, with this exchange? Sure the Gods doe this yeere conniue at vs, and we may doe any thing extempore. The Prince himſelfe is about a peece of Iniquitie (ſtealing away from his Father, with his Clog at his heeles:) if I thought it were a peece of ho
Aſide, aſide, here is more matter for a hot braine: Euery Lanes end, euery Shop, Church, Seſſion, Hanging, yeelds a carefull man worke.
See, ſee: what a man you are now? there is no other way, but to tell the King ſhe's a Changeling, and none of your fleſh and blood.
Nay, but heare me.
Nay; but heare me.
Goe too then.
She being none of your fleſh and blood, your fleſh and blood ha's not offended the King, and ſo your fleſh and blood is not to be puniſh'd by him. Shew thoſe things you found about her (thoſe ſecret things, all but what ſhe ha's with her:) This being done, let the Law goe whiſtle: I warrant you.
I will tell the King all, euery word, yea, and his Sonnes prancks too; who, I may ſay, is no honeſt man, neither to his Father, nor to me, to goe about to make me the Kings Brother in Law.
Indeed Brother in Law was the fartheſt off you could haue beene to him, and then your Blood had beene the dearer, by I know how much an ounce.
Very wiſely (Puppies.)
Well: let vs to the King: there is that in this Farthell, will make him ſcratch his Beard.
I know not what impediment this Complaint may be to the flight of my Maſter.
'Pray heartily he be at' Pallace.
Though I am not naturally honeſt, I am ſo ſome
To th' Pallace (and it like your Worſhip.)
Your Affaires there? what? with whom? the Condition of that Farthell? the place of your dwelling? your names? your ages? of what hauing? breeding, and any thing that is fitting to be knowne, diſcouer?
We are but plaine fellowes, Sir.
A Lye; you are rough, and hayrie: Let me haue no lying; it becomes none but Tradeſ-men, and they of
Your Worſhip had like to haue giuen vs one, if you had not taken your ſelfe with the manner.
Are you a Courtier, and't like you Sir?
Whether it lke me, or no, I am a Courtier. Seeſt thou not the ayre of the Court, in theſe enfoldings? Hath not my gate in it, the meaſure of the Court? Receiues not thy Noſe Court-Odour from me? Reflect I not on thy Baſeneſſe, Court-Contempt? Think'ſt thou, for that I inſinuate, at toaze from thee thy Buſineſſe, I am thereCap-a-pe; and one that will eyther puſh-on, or pluck-back, thy Buſineſſe there: whereupon I command thee to open thy Affaire.
My Buſineſſe, Sir, is to the King.
What Aduocate ha'ſt thou to him?
I know not (and't like you.)
Aduocate's the Court-word for a Pheazant: ſay you haue none.
None, Sir: I haue no Pheazant Cock, nor Hen.
This cannot be but a great Courtier.
His Garments are rich, but he weares them not handſomely.
He ſeemes to be the more Noble, in being fanta
The Farthell there? What's i' th' Farthell? Wherefore that Box?
Sir, there lyes ſuch Secrets in this Farthell and Box, which none muſt know but the King, and which hee ſhall know within this houre, if I may come to th' ſpeech of him.
Age, thou haſt loſt thy labour.
Why Sir?
The King is not at the Pallace, he is gone aboord a new Ship, to purge Melancholy, and ayre himſelfe: for if thou bee'ſt capable of things ſerious, thou muſt know the King is full of griefe.
So 'tis ſaid (Sir:) about his Sonne, that ſhould haue marryed a Shepheards Daughter.
If that Shepheard be not in hand-faſt, let him flye; the Curſes he ſhall haue, the Tortures he ſhall feele, will breake the back of Man, the heart of Monſter.
Thinke you ſo, Sir?
Not hee alone ſhall ſuffer what Wit can make heauie, and Vengeance bitter; but thoſe that are Iermaine to him (though remou'd fiftie times) ſhall all come vnder the Hang-man: which, though it be great pitty, yet it is neceſſarie. An old Sheepe-whiſtiing Rogue, a Ram-ten
Ha's the old-man ere a Sonne Sir (doe you heare) and't like you, Sir?
Hee ha's a Sonne: who ſhall be flayd aliue, then 'noynted ouer with Honey, ſet on the head of a Waſpes Neſt, then ſtand till he be three quarters and a dram dead: then recouer'd againe with Aquavite, or ſome other hot Infuſion: then, raw as he is (and in the hoteſt day Progno
He ſeemes to be of great authoritie: cloſe with him, giue him Gold; and though Authoritie be a ſtub
And't pleaſe you (Sir) to vndertake the Buſineſſe for vs, here is that Gold I haue: Ile make it as much more, and leaue this young man in pawne, till I bring it you.
After I hate done what I promiſed?
I Sir.
Well, giue me the Mo
In ſo
Oh, that's the caſe
Comfort
I will truſt you. Walke before toward the Sea
We are bleſs'd, in this man: as I may ſay, euen bleſs'd.
Let's before, as he bids vs: he was prouided to doe vs good.
If I had a mind to be honeſt, I ſee Fortune would not ſuffer m
Neuer (Paulina) ſo be bleſs'd my Spirit.
Then good my Lords, beare witneſſe to his Oath.
You tempt him ouer-much.
Good Madame, I haue done.
His Princeſſe (ſay you) with him?
How? not women?
Where's Bohemia? ſpeake:
Who? Camillo?
You are marryed?
Beſeech you (Sir) were you preſent at this Re
I was by at the opening of the Farthell, heard the old Shepheard deliuer the manner how he found it: Whereupon (after a little amazedneſſe) we were all com
I would moſt gladly know the iſſue of it.
I make a broken deliuerie of the Buſineſſe; but the changes I perceiued in the King, and Camillo, were very Notes of admiration: they ſeem'd almoſt, with ſta
Here comes a Gentleman, that happily knowes more: The Newes, Rogero.
Nothing but Bon-fires: the Oracle is fulfill'd: the Kings Daughter is found: ſuch a deale of wonder is broken out within this houre, that Ballad-makers cannot be able to expreſſe it.
Here comes the Lady Paulina's Steward, hee can deliuer you more. How goes it now (Sir.) This Newes (which is call'd true) is ſo like an old Tale, that the veritie of it is in ſtrong ſuſpition: Ha's the King found his Heire?
Moſt true, if euer Truth were pregnant by Circumſtance: That which you heare, you'le ſweare you ſee, there is ſuch vnitie in the proofes. The Mantle of Queene Hermiones: her Iewell about the Neck of it: the Letters of Antigonus found with it, which they know to be his Character: the Maieſtie of the Creature, in re
No.
Then haue you loſt a Sight which was to bee ſeene, cannot bee ſpoken of. There might you haue beBohemia forgiueneſſe, then embraces his Sonne-in-Law: then againe worryes he his Daughter, with clipping her. Now he thanks the old Shepheard (which ſtands by, like a Weather-bitten Conduit, of many Kings Reignes.) I neuer heard of ſuch another Encounter; which lames Re
What, 'pray you, became of Antigonus, that carryed hence the Child?
Like an old Tale ſtill, which will haue matter to rehearſe, though Credit be aſleepe, and not an eare oPaulina knowes.
What became of his Barke, and his Fol
Wrackt the ſame inſtant of their Maſters death, and in the view of the Shepheard: ſo that all the Inſtruments which ayded to expoſe the Child, were euen then loft, when it was found. But oh the Noble Combat, that 'twixt Ioy and Sorrow was fought in Paulina. Shee had one Eye declin'd for the loſſe of her Husband, ano
The Dignitie of this Act was worth the au
One of the prettyeſt touches of all, and that which angl'd for mine Eyes (caught the Water, though not the Fiſh) was, when at the Relation of the Queenes death (with the manner how ſhee came to't brauely conAlas) I would faine ſay, bleed Teares; for I am ſure, my heart wept blood. Who was moſt Marble, there changed colour: ſome ſwownded, all ſorrowed: if all the World could haue ſeen't, the Woe had beene vniuerſall.
Are they returned to the Court?
No: The Princeſſe hearing of her Mothers Statue (which is in the keeping of Paulina) a Peece many yeeres in doing, and now newly perform'd, by that rare Italian Maſter, Iulio Romaeno, who (had he himſelfe EterHermione, hath done Hermione, that they ſay one would ſpeake to her, and ſtand in hope of anſwer. Thither (with all greedineſſe of affection) are they gone, and there they intend to Sup.
I thought ſhe had ſome great matter there in hand, for ſhee hath priuately, twice or thrice a day, euer ſince the death of Hermione, viſited that remoued Houſe. Shall wee thither, and with our companie peece the Re
Who would be thence, that ha's the benefit of Acceſſe? euery winke of an Eye, ſome new Grace will be borne: our Abſence makes vs vnthriftie to our Knowledge. Let's along.
Now (had I not the daſh of my former life in me) would Preferment drop on my head. I brought the old man and his Sonne aboord the Prince; told him, I heard them talke of a Farthell, and I know not what: but he at that time ouer-fond of the Shepheards Daughter (ſo he then tooke her to be) who began to be much Sea-ſick, and himſelfe little better, extremitie of Weather conti
Here come thoſe I haue done good to againſt my will, and alreadie appearing in the bloſſomes of their For
Come Boy, I am paſt moe Children: but thy Sonnes and Daughters will be all Gentlemen borne.
You are well met (Sir.) you deny'd to fight with mee this other day, becauſe I was no Gentleman borne. See you theſe Clothes? ſay you ſee them not, and thinke me ſtill no Gentleman borne: You were beſt ſay theſe Robes are not Gentlemen borne. Giue me the Lye: doe: and try whether I am not now a Gentleman borne.
I know you are now (Sir) a Gentleman borne.
I, and haue been ſo any time theſe foure houres.
And ſo haue I, Boy.
So you haue: but I was a Gentleman borne be
We may liue (Sonne) to ſhed many more.
I: or elſe 'twere hard luck, being in ſo p
I humbly beſeech you (Sir) to pardon me all the faults I haue committed to your Worſhip, and to giue me your good report to the Prince my Maſter.
'Prethee Sonne doe: for we muſt be gentle, now we are Gentlemen.
Thou wilt amend thy life?
I, and it like your good Worſhip.
Giue me thy hand: I will ſweare to the Prince, thou art as honeſt a true Fellow as any is in Bohemia.
You may ſay it, but not ſweare it.
Not ſweare it, now I am a Gentleman? Let Boores and Francklins ſay it, Ile ſweare it.
How if it be falſe (Sonne?)
If it be ne're ſo falſe, a true Gentleman may ſweare it, in the behalfe of his Friend: And Ile ſweare to the Prince
I will proue ſo (Sir) to my power.
I, by any meanes proue a tall Fellow: if I do not wonder, how thou dar'ſt venture to be drunke, not being a tall Fellow, truſt me not. Harke, the Kings and the Prin
Oh, not by much.
Doe not draw the Curtaine.
No: not theſe twentie yeeres.
She embraces him.
Chatillion, what would France with vs?
A ſtrange beginning: borrowed Maieſty?
Silence (good mother) heare the Embaſſie.
What followes if we diſallow of this?
Out ſtrong poſſeſſion, and our right for vs,
What art thou?
The ſon and heire to that ſame Faulconbridge.
Why what a mad-cap hath heauen lent vs here?
Nay, I would haue you go before me thither.
Our Country manners giue our betters way.
What i
Philip
Philip, good old Sir Roberts wiues eldeſt ſonne.
Iames Gournie, wilt thou giue vs leaue a while?
Good leaue good Philip.
Haſt thou denied thy ſelfe a Faulconbridge?
As faithfully as I denie the deuill.
A noble boy, who would not doe thee right?
How much vnlook'd for, is this expedition.
Alack thou doſt vſurpe authoritie.
Excuſe it is to beat vſurping downe.
Who is it thou doſt call vſurper France?
Let me make anſwer: thy vſurping ſonne.
Theres a good mother boy, that blots thy fa
Peace.
Heare the Cryer.
What the deuill art thou?
Come to thy grandame child.
His mother ſhames him ſo, poore boy hee weepes.
Thou monſtrous ſlanderer of heauen and earth.
Bedl
Who is it that hath warn'd vs to the walles?
'Tis France, for England.
Acknowledge then the King, and let me in.
Baſtards and elſe.
To verifie our title with their liues.
As many and as well-borne bloods as thoſe.
Some Baſtards too.
Stand in his face to contradict his claime.
Amen, Amen, mount Cheualiers to Armes.
Peace, no more.
O tremble: for you heare the Lyon rore.
Speed then to take aduantage of the field.
Whoſe party do the Towneſmen yet admit?
Speake Citizens for England, whoſe your king.
The king of England, when we know the king.
Know him in vs, that heere hold vp his right.
Let it be ſo: ſay, where will you aſſault?
I from the North.
Speake on with favour, we are bent to heare.
What ſai'ſt thou boy? looke in the Ladies face.
What ſaie theſe yong-ones? What ſay you my Neece?
Speake then Prince Dolphin, can you loue this Ladie?
It likes vs well young Princes: cloſe your hands
She is ſad and paſsionate at your highnes Tent.
I do beſeech you Madam be content.
Lady Conſtance, peace.
O that a man ſhould ſpeake thoſe words to me.
And hang a Calues-skin on thoſe recreant limbs
Thou dar'ſt not ſay ſo villaine for thy life.
And hang a Calues-skin on thoſe recreant limbs.
We like not this, thou doſt forget thy ſelfe.
Heere comes the holy Legat of the Pope.
Brother of England, you blaſpheme in this.
There's Law and Warrant (Lady) for my curſe.
Look'ſt thou pale France? do not let go thy hand.
King Philip, liſten to the Cardinall.
And hang a Calues-skin on his recreant limbs.
Well ruffian, I muſt pocket vp theſe wrongs, Becauſe,
Your breeches beſt may carry them.
Philip, what ſaiſt thou to the Cardinall?
What ſhould he ſay, but as the Cardinall?
ThatRome.
The king is moud, and anſwers not to this.
O be remou'd from him, and anſwere well.
Doe ſo king Philip, hang no more in doubt.
Hang nothing but a Calues skin moſt ſweet lout.
I am perplext, and know not what to ſay.
I may diſ-ioyne my hand, but not my faith.
Rebellion, flat rebellion.
Father, to Armes.
I will denounce a curſe vpon his head.
Thou ſhalt not need. England, I will fall fro
O faire returne of baniſh'd Maieſtie.
O foule reuolt of French inconſtancy.
France, yu ſhalt rue this houre within this houre.
Lady, with me, with me thy fortune lies.
There where my fortune liues, there my life dies.
No more then he that threats. To Arms le'ts hie.
O this will make my mother die with griefe.
Farewell gentle Coſen.
Coz, farewell.
Come hether little kinſman, harke, a worde.
I am much bounden to your Maieſty.
Death.
My Lord.
A Graue.
He ſhall not liue.
My bleſſing goe with thee.
Courage and comfort, all ſhall yet goe well.
Lo; now: now ſee the iſſue of your peace.
Patience good Lady, comfort gentle Conſtance.
O faire affliction, peace.
Lady, you vtter madneſſe, and not ſorrow.
To England, if you will.
Binde vp your haires.
You hold too heynous a reſpect of greefe.
He talkes to me, that neuer had a ſonne.
You are as fond of greefe, as of your childe.
I feare ſome out-rage, and Ile follow her.
All daies of glory, ioy and happineſſe.
As heartily as he is glad he hath him.
But what ſhall I gaine by yong Arthurs fall?
And looſe it, life and all, as Arthur did.
I hope your warrant will beare out the deed.
Good morrow Hubert.
Good morrow; little Prince.
Indeed I haue beene merrier.
Yong Boy, I muſt.
And will you?
And I will.
Come forth: Do as I bid you do.
Giue me the Iron I ſay, and binde him heere.
Go ſtand within: let me alone with him.
I am beſt pleas'd to be from ſuch a deede.
Come (Boy) prepare your ſelfe.
Is there no remedie?
None, but to loſe your eyes.
Is this your promiſe? Go too, hold your toong
I can heate it, Boy.
But with my breath I can reuiue it Boy.
O heauen! I thanke you Hubert.
Indeed we fear'd his ſickneſſe was paſt cure.
Vnder the Dolphin.
Thou idle Dreamer, wherefore didſt thou ſo?
Fore-knowing that the truth will fall out ſo.
I will ſeeke them out.
The ſpirit of the time ſhall teach me ſpeed.
With all my heart, my Liege.
My mother dead?
Fiue Moones?
No had (my Lord?) why, did you not prouoke me?
Heere is your hand and Seale for what I did.
My Lord.
Who brought that Letter from the Cardinall?
To morrow morning let vs meete him then.
What ere you thinke, good words I thinke were beſt.
Our greefes, and not our manners reaſon now.
Sir, ſir, impatience hath his priuiledge.
'Tis t
This is the priſon: What is he lyes heere?
Our ſoules religiouſly confirme thy words.
I am no villaine.
Muſt I rob the Law?
Your ſword is bright ſir, put it vp againe.
Not till I ſheath it in a murtherers skin.
Out dunghill: dar'ſt thou braue a Nobleman?
Cut him to peeces.
Keepe the peace, I ſay.
Stand by, or I ſhall gaul you Faulconbridge.
Lord Bigot, I am none.
Who kill'd this Prince?
Away, toward Burie, to the Dolphin there.
Do but heare me ſir.
Vpon my ſoule.
That villaine Hubert told me he did liue.
Haue thou the ordering of this preſent time.
You looke but on the out-ſide of this worke.
Giue me leaue to ſpeake.
No, I will ſpeake.
Strike vp our drummes, to finde this danger out.
And thou ſhalt finde it (Dolphin) do not doubt
How goes the day with vs? oh tell me Hubert.
Badly I feare; how fares your Maieſty?
Tell him toward Swinſted, to the Abbey there.
I did not thinke the King ſo ſtor'd with friends.
They ſay King Iohn ſore ſick, hath left the field.
Lead me to the Reuolts of England heere.
When we were happie, we had other names.
It is the Count Meloone.
Wounded to death.
May this be poſſible? May this be true?
Where is my Prince, the Dolphin?
Heere: what newes?
Who euer ſpoke it, it is true my Lord.
Whoſe there? Speake hoa, ſpeake quickely, or I ſhoote.
A Friend. What art thou?
Of the part of England.
Whether doeſt thou go?
Hubert, I thinke.
Come, come: ſans complement, What newes abroad?
Brcefe then: and what's the newes?
How did he take it? Who did taſte to him?
Who didſt thou leaue to tend his Maieſty?
How fares your Maieſty?
I haue my Liege.
And Norfolke, throw downe hi
Norfolke, throw downe, we bidde; there is no boote.
Where then (alas may I) complaint my ſelfe?
To heauen, the widdowes Champion to defence
My L. Aumerle, is Harry Herford arm'd.
Yea, at all points, and longs to enter in.
Mine innocence, and S. George to thriue.
Strong as a towre in hope, I cry Amen.
Go beare this Lance to Thomas D. of Norfolke.
I ſweare.
And I, to keepe all this.
Why Vncle, thou haſt many yeeres to liue.
Thy greefe is but thy abſence for a time.
Ioy abſent, greefe is preſent for that time.
What is ſixe Winters, they are quickely gone?
To men in ioy, but greefe makes one houre ten.
Call it a trauell that thou tak'ſt for pleaſure.
I brought high Herford (if you call him ſo) but to the next high way, and there I left him.
And ſay, what ſtore of parting tears were ſhed?
What ſaid our Coſin when you parted with him?
what newes?
Where lyes he?
At Ely houſe.
How fares our noble Vncle Lancaſter?
What comfort man? How iſt with aged Gaunt?
Can ſicke men play ſo nicely with their names?
Should dying men flatter thoſe that liue?
No, no, men liuing flatter thoſe that dye.
Thou now a dying, ſayſt thou flatter'ſt me.
Oh no, thou dyeſt, though I the ſicker be.
I am in health, I breath, I ſee the
My Liege, olde Gaunt commends him to your Maieſtie.
What ſayes he?
Well Lords, the Duke of Lancaſter is dead.
And liuing too, for now his ſonne is Duke.
Barely in title, not in reuennew.
Richly in both, if iuſtice had her right.
The Earle of Wiltſhire hath the realme in Farme.
The Kings growne bankrupt like a broken man.
Reproach, and diſſolution hangeth ouer him.
To horſe, to horſe, vrge doubts to them yt feare.
Hold out my horſe, and I will firſt be there.
Now God in heauen forbid.
Diſpaire not Madam.
Heere comes the Duke of Yorke.
My Lord, your ſonne was gone before I came.
What is't knaue?
An houre before I came, the Dutcheſſe di'de.
Wherein the king ſtands generally condemn'd
That's as Yorke thriues to beate back Bullinbroke
How farre is it my Lord to Berkley now?
I had thought, my Lord, to haue learn'd his health of you.
Why, is he not with the Queene?
Haue you forgot the Duke of Hereford (Boy.)
Then learne to know him now: this is the Duke.
Your preſence makes vs rich, moſt Noble Lord.
And ſure ſurmounts our labour to attaine it.
It is my Lord of Barkely, as I gheſſe.
My Lord of Hereford, my Meſſage is to you.
My gracious Vnckle.
The Noble Duke hath been too much abus'd.
It ſtands your Grace vpon, to doe him right.
Baſe men by his endowments are made great.
Barkloughly Caſtle call you this at hand?
Comfort my Liege, why lookes your Grace ſo pale?
Comfort my Liege, remember who you are.
Peace haue they made with him indeede (my Lord.)
Is Buſhie Greene, and the Earle of Wiltſhire dead?
Yea all of them at Briſtow loſt their heads.
Where is the Duke my Father with his Power?
My Liege, one word.
The newes is very faire and good, my Lord, Richard, not farre from hence, hath hid his head.
Miſtake not (Vnckle) farther then you ſhould.
Royally? Why, it containes no King?
Oh, belike it is the Biſhop of Carl
Northumberland comes backe from Bullingbrooke.
What ſayes his Maieſtie?
My gracious Lord, I come but for mine owne.
Your owne is yours, and I am yours, and all.
Yea, my good Lord.
Then I muſt not ſay, no.
Madame, wee'le play at Bowles.
Madame, wee'le Dance.
Madame, wee'le tell Tales.
Of Sorrow, or of Griefe?
Of eyther, Madame.
Madame, Ile ſing.
I could weepe, Madame, would it doe you good.
What are they dead?
What thinke you the King ſhall be depos'd?
Then ſet before my face, the Lord Aumerle.
Coſin, ſtand forth, and looke vpon that man.
Bagot forbeare, thou ſhalt not take it vp.
Thou dar'ſt not (Coward) liue to ſee the day.
Now by my Soule, I would it were this houre.
Fitzwater thou art damn'd to hell for this.
Surrey, thou Lyeſt.
Why Biſhop, is Norfolke dead?
As ſure as I liue, my Lord.
In Gods Name, Ile aſcend the Regall Throne.
I will be his Conduct.
I thought you had been willing to reſigne.
Part of your Cares you giue me with your Crowne.
Are you contended to reſigne the Crowne?
My Lord diſpatch, reade o're theſe Articles.
My Lord.
Goe ſome of you, and fetch a Looking-Glaſſe.
Read o're this Paper, while yc Glaſſe doth come.
Fiend, thou torments me, ere I come to Hell.
Vrge it no more, my Lord Northumberland.
The Commons will not then be ſatisfy'd.
Name it, faire Couſin.
Yet aske.
And ſhall I haue?
You ſhall.
Then giue me leaue to goe.
Whither?
Whither you will, ſo I were from your ſights.
Goe ſome of you, conuey him to the Tower.
A wofull Pageant haue we here beheld.
And muſt we be diuided? muſt we part?
I, hand from hand (my Loue) and heart fro
Baniſh vs both, and ſend the King with me.
That were ſome Loue, but little Pollicy.
Then whither he goes, thither let me goe.
So longeſt Way ſhall haue the longeſt Moanes.
Where did I leaue?
Alas poore Richard, where rides he the whilſt?
Heere comes my ſonne Aumerle.
For ought I know my Lord, they do.
You will be there I know.
If God preuent not, I purpoſe ſo.
My Lord, 'tis nothing.
I do beſeech you pardon me, I may not ſhew it.
What's the matter, my Lord?
Why, what is't my Lord?
What is the matter?
Peace fooliſh Woman.
I will not peace. What is the matter Sonne?
Thy life anſwer?
Bring me my Boots, I will vnto the King.
Giue me my Boots, I ſay.
Away fond woman: were hee twenty times my Son, I would appeach him.
Make way, vnruly Woman.
And what ſaid the Gallant?
Where is the King?
Haue thy deſire.
Villaine, Ile make thee ſafe.
Stay thy reuengefull hand, thou haſt no cauſe to feare.
What hoa (my Liege) for heauens ſake let me in.
What ſhrill-voic'd Suppliant, makes this eager cry?
Sweet Yorke be patient, heare me gentle Liege.
Riſe vp good Aunt.
Vnto my mothers prayres, I bend my knee.
Againſt them both, my true ioynts bended be.
Good Aunt ſtand vp.
Speake it in French (King) ſay Pardon'ne moy.
Good Aunt, ſtand vp.
I pardon him, as heauen ſhall pardon mee.
I pardon him with all my hart.
A God on earth thou art.
Come my old ſon, I pray heauen make thee new.
Thoſe were his very words.
He did.
Haile Royall Prince.
So proudly, as if he had diſdain'd the ground.
Fellow, giue place heere is
If
What thy tongue da
My Lord, will pleaſe you to fall too?
Taſte of it firſt, as thou wer't wont to doo.
Helpe, helpe, helpe.
From your owne mouth my Lord, did I this deed.
A Conqueſt for a Prince to boaſt of.
I will my Liege.
Now Hal, what time of day is it Lad?
Thou art ſo fat-witted with drinking of olde Sacke, and vnbuttoning thee after Supper, and ſleeping vpon Benches in the afternoone, that thou haſt forgotten to demand that truely, which thou wouldeſt truly know. What a diuell haſt thou to do with the time of the day? vnleſſe houres were cups of Sacke, and minutes Capons, and clockes the tongues of Bawdes, and dialls the ſignes of Leaping-houſes, and the bleſſed Sunne himſelfe a faire hot Wench in Flame-coloured Taffata; I ſee no reaſon, why thou ſhouldeſt bee ſo ſuperfluous, to demaund the time of the day.
Indeed you come neere me now Hal, for we that take Purſes, go by the Moone and ſeuen Starres, and not by Phoebus hee, that wand'ring Knight ſo faire. And I prythee ſweet Wagge, when thou art King, as God ſaue thy Grace, Maieſty I ſhould ſay, for Grace thou wilte haue none.
What, none?
No, not ſo much as will ſerue to be Prologue to an Egge and Butter.
Well, how then? Come roundly, roundly.
Marry then, ſweet Wagge, when thou art King, let not vs that are Squires of the Nights bodie, bee call'd Theeues of the Dayes beautie. Let vs be Dianaes Forre
Thou ſay'ſt well, and it holds well too: for the fortune of vs that are the Moones men, doeth ebbe and flow like the Sea, beeing gouerned as the Sea is, by the Moone: as for proofe. Now a Purſe of Gold moſt reſo
Thou ſay'ſt true Lad: and is not my Hoſteſſe of the Tauerne a moſt ſweet Wench?
As is the hony, my old Lad of the Caſtle: and is not a Buffe Ierkin a moſt ſweet robe of durance?
How now? how now mad Wagge? What in thy quips and thy quiddities? What a plague haue I to doe with a Buffe-Ierkin?
Why, what a poxe haue I to doe with my Ho
Well, thou haſt call'd her to a reck'ning many a time and oft.
Did I euer call for thee to pay thy part?
No, Ile giue thee thy due, thou haſt paid al there.
Yea and elſewhere, ſo farre as my Coine would ſtretch, and where it would not, I haue vs'd my credit.
Yea, and ſo vs'd it, that were it heere apparant, that thou art Heire apparant. But I prythee ſweet Wag, ſhall there be Gallowes ſtanding in England when thou art King? and reſolution thus fobb'd as it is, with the ru
No, thou ſhalt.
Shall I? O rare! Ile be a braue Iudge.
Thou iudgeſt falſe already. I meane, thou ſhalt haue the hanging of the Theeues, and ſo become a rare Hangman.
Well Hal, well: and in ſome ſort it iumpes with my humour, as well as waiting in the Court, I can tell you.
For obtaining of ſuites?
Yea, for obtaining of ſuites, whereof the Hang
Or an old Lyon, or a Louers Lute.
Yea, or the Drone of a Lincolnſhire Bagpipe.
What ſay'ſt thou to a Hare, or the Melancholly of Moore Ditch?
Thou haſt the moſt vnſauoury ſmiles, and art inHal, I prythee trouble me no more with vanity, I wold thou and I knew, where a Commodity of good names were to be bought: an olde Lord of the Councell rated me the other day in the ſtreet about you ſir; but I mark'd him not, and yet hee talk'd very wiſely, but I regarded him not, and yet he talkt wiſely, and in the ſtreet too.
Thou didſt well: for no man regards it.
O, thou haſt damnable iteration, and art indeede able to corrupt a Saint. Thou haſt done much harme vnHall, God forgiue thee for it. Before I knew thee Hal, I knew nothing: and now I am (if a man ſhold ſpeake truly) little better then one of the wicked. I muſt giue o
Where ſhall we take a purſe to morrow, Iacke?
Where thou wilt Lad, Ile make one: and I doe not, call me Villaine, and bafflle me.
I ſee a good amendment of life in thee: From Praying, to Purſe-taking.
Why, Hal, 'tis my Vocation Hal: 'Tis no ſin for a man to labour in his Vocation.
Now ſhall wee know if Gads hill haue ſet a Watch. O, if men were to be ſaued by merit, what hole in Hell were hot enough for him? This is the moſt omni
Good morrow Ned.
Good morrow ſweet Hal. What ſaies Mon
Sir Iohn ſtands to his word, the diuel ſhall haue his bargaine, for he was neuer yet a Breaker of Prouerbs: He will giue the diuell his due.
Then art thou damn'd for keeping thy word with the diuell.
Elſe he had damn'd for cozening the diuell.
But my Lads, my Lads, to morrow morning, by foure a clocke early at Gads hill, there are Pilgrimes go
Heare ye Yed ward, if I tarry at home and go not, Ile hang you for going.
You will chops.
Hal, wilt thou make one?
Who, I rob? I a Theefe? Not I.
There's neither honeſty, manhood, nor good fel
Well then, once in my dayes Ile be a mad-cap.
Why, that's well ſaid.
Well, come what will, Ile tarry at home.
Ile be a Traitor then, when thou art King.
I care not.
Sir Iohn, I prythee leaue the Prince & me alone, I will lay him downe ſuch reaſons for this aduenture, that he ſhall go.
Well, maiſt thou haue the Spirit of perſwaſion; and he the eares of profiting, that what thou ſpeakeſt, may moue; and what he heares may be beleeued, that the true Prince, may (for recreation ſake) proue a falſe theefe; for the poore abuſes of the time, want countenance. Far
Farwell the latter Spring. Farewell Alhollown Summer.
Now, my good ſweet Hony Lord, ride with vs to morrow. I haue a ieſt to execute, that I cannot manFalſtaffe, Haruey, Roſſill, and Gads-hill, ſhall robbe thoſe men that wee haue already way-layde, your ſelfe and I, wil not be there: and when they haue the boo
But how ſhal we part with them in ſetting forth?
Why we wil ſet forth before or after them, and appoint them a place of meeting, wherin it is at our plea
I, but tis like that they will know vs by our horſes, by our habits, and by euery other appointment to be our ſelues.
Tut our horſes they ſhall not ſee, Ile tye them in the wood, our vizards wee will change after wee leaue them: and ſirrah, I haue Caſes of Buckram for the nonce, to immaske our noted outward garments.
But I doubt they will be too hard for vs.
Well, for two of them, I know them to bee as true bred Cowards as euer turn'd backe: and for the third if he fight longer then he ſees reaſon, Ile forſwear Armes. The vertue of this Ieſt will be, the incomprehenſible lyes that this fat Rogue will tell vs, when we meete at Supper: how thirty at leaſt he fought with, what Wardes, what blowes, what extremities he endured; and in the reproofe of this, lyes the ieſt.
Well, Ile goe with thee, prouide vs all things neceſſary, and meete me to morrow night in Eaſtcheape, there Ile ſup. Farewell.
Farewell, my Lord.
My Lord.
Brother, the King hath made your Nephew mad
Who ſtrooke this heate vp after I was gone?
He did, my ſelfe did heare it.
I cry you mercy.
Heare you Couſin: a word.
At Barkley Caſtle.
I haue done inſooth.
Of Yorke, is't not?
Before the game's a-foot, thou ſtill let'ſt ſlip.
And ſo they ſhall.
Infaith it is exceedingly well aym'd.
He does, he does; wee'l be reueng'd on him.
Farewell good Brother, we ſhall thriue, I truſt.
Heigh-ho, an't be not foure by the day, Ile be hang'd. Charles waine is ouer the new Chimney, and yet our horſe not packt. What Oſtler?
Anon, anon.
I prethee Tom, beate Cuts Saddle, put a few Flockes in the point: the poore Iade is wrung in the wi
Peaſe and Beanes are as danke here as a Dog, and this is the next way to giue poore Iades the Bottes: This houſe is turned vpſide downe ſince Robin the Oſtler dyed.
Poore fellow neuer ioy'd ſince the price of oats roſe, it was the death of him.
I thinke this is the moſt villanous houſe in al London rode for Fleas: I am ſtung like a Tench.
Like a Tench? There is ne're a King in Chri
Why, you will allow vs ne're a Iourden, and then we leake in your Chimney: and your Chamber-lye breeds Fleas like a Loach.
What Oſtler, come away, and be hangd: come away.
I haue a Gammon of Bacon, and two razes of Ginger, to be deliuered as farre as Charing-croſſe.
The Turkies in my Pannier are quite ſtarued. What Oſtler? A plague on thee, haſt thou neuer an eye in thy head? Can'ſt not heare? And t'were not as good a deed as drinke, to break the pate of thee, I am a very Vil
Good-morrow Carriers. What's a clocke?
I thinke it be two a clocke.
I prethee lend me thy Lanthorne to ſee my Gel
Nay ſoft I pray ye, I know a trick worth two of that.
I prethee lend me thine.
I, when, canſt tell? Lend mee thy Lanthorne (quoth-a) marry Ile ſee thee hang'd firſt.
Sirra Carrier: What time do you mean to come to London?
Time enough to goe to bed with a Candle, I warrant thee. Come neighbour Mugges, wee'll call vp the Gentlemen, they will along with company, for they haue great charge.
What ho, Chamberlaine?
At hand quoth Pick-purſe.
That's euen as faire, as at hand quoth the Cham
Good morrow Maſter Gads-Hill, it holds cur
No, Ile none of it: I prythee keep that for the Hangman, for I know thou worſhipſt S. Nicholas as tru
What talkeſt thou to me of the Hangman? If I hang, Ile make a fat payre of Gallowes. For, if I hang, old Sir Iohn hangs with mee, and thou know'ſt hee's no Starueling. Tut, there are other Troians that yu dream'ſt not of, the which (for ſport ſake) are content to doe the Profeſſion ſome grace; that would (if matters ſhould bee look'd into) for their owne Credit ſake, make all Whole. I am ioyned with no Foot-land-Rakers, no Long-ſtaffe ſix-penny ſtrikers, none of theſe mad Muſtachio-purple
What, the Commonwealth their Bootes? Will ſhe hold out water in foule way?
She will, ſhe will; Iuſtice hath liquor'd her. We ſteale as in a Caſtle, cockſure: we haue the receit of Fern
Nay, I thinke rather, you are more beholding to the Night, then to the Fernſeed, for your walking in
Nay, rather let mee haue it, as you are a falſe Theefe.
Goe too: Homo is a common name to all men. Bid the Oſtler bring the Gelding out of the ſtable. Fare
Come ſhelter, ſhelter, I haue remoued Falſtafs Horſe, and he frets like a gum'd Veluet.
Stand cloſe.
Poines, Poines, and be hang'd Poines.
Peace ye fat-kidney'd Raſcall, what a brawling doſt thou keepe.
What Poines. Hal?
He is walk'd vp to the top of the hill, Ile go ſeek him.
I am accurſt to rob in that Theefe company: that Raſcall hath remoued my Horſe, and tied him I know not where. If I trauell but foure foot by the ſquire further a foote, I ſhall breake my winde. Well, I doubt not but to dye a faire death for all this, if I ſcape hanging for kilPoines, Hal, a Plague vpon you both. Bardolph, Peto: Ile ſtarue ere I rob a foote further. And 'twere not as good a deede as to drinke, to turne True-man, and to leaue theſe Rogues, I am the verieſt Varlet that euer chewed with a Tooth. Eight yards of vneuen ground, is threeſcore & ten miles afoot with me: and the ſtony-hearted Villaines knowe it well enough. A plague vpon't, when Theeues cannot be true one to another.
a plague light vpon you all. Giue my Horſe you
giue me my Horſe, and be hang'd.
Peace ye fat guttes, lye downe, lay thine eare cloſe to the ground, and liſt if thou can heare the tread of Trauellers.
Haue you any Leauers to lift me vp again being downe? Ile not beare mine owne fleſh ſo far afoot again, for all the coine in thy Fathers Exchequer. What a plague meane ye to colt me thus?
Thou ly'ſt, thou art not colted, thou art vncolted.
I prethee good Prince Hal, help me to my horſe, good Kings ſonne.
Out you Rogue, ſhall I be your Oſtler?
Go hang thy ſelfe in thine owne heire-apparant-Garters: If I be tane, Ile peach for this: and I haue not Ballads made on all, and ſung to filthy tunes, let a Cup of Sacke be my poyſon: when a ieſt is ſo forward, & a foote too, I hate it.
Stand.
So I do againſt my will.
Caſe ye, caſe ye; on with your Vizards, there's mony of the Kings comming downe the hill, 'tis going to the Kings Exchequer.
You lie you rogue, 'tis going to the Kings Tauern.
There's enough to make vs all.
To he hang'd.
You foure ſhall front them in the narrow Lane: Ned and I, will walke lower; if they ſcape from your en
But how many be of them?
Some eight or ten.
Will they not rob vs?
What, a Coward Sir Iohn Paunch?
Indeed I am not Iohn of Gaunt your Grandfather; but yet no Coward, Hal.
Wee'l leaue that to the proofe.
Sirra Iacke, thy horſe ſtands behinde the hedg, when thou need'ſt him, there thou ſhalt finde him. Fare
Now cannot I ſtrike him, if I ſhould be hang'd.
Ned, where are our diſguiſes?
Heere hard by: Stand cloſe.
Now my Maſters, happy man be his dole, ſay I: euery man to his buſineſſe.
Come Neighbor: the boy ſhall leade our Horſes downe the hill: Wee'l walke a-foot a while, and eaſe our Legges.
Stay.
Ieſu bleſſe vs.
Strike
O, we are vndone, both we and ours for euer.
Hang ye gorbellied knaues, are you vndone? No ye Fat Chuffes, I would your ſtore were heere. On Ba
The Theeues haue bound the True-men: Now could thou and I rob the Theeues, and go merily to Lon
Stand cloſe, I heare them comming.
Come my Maſters, let vs ſhare, and then to horſſe before day: and the Prince and Poynes bee not two ar
Your money.
Villaines.
Got with much eaſe. Now merrily to Horſe: The Theeues are ſcattred, and poſſeſt with fear ſo ſtrongNed, Falſtaffe ſweates to death, and Lards the leane earth as he walkes along wer't not for laughing, I ſhould pitty him.
How the Rogue roar'd.
But for mine owne part, my Lord, I could bee well contented to be there, in reſpect of the loue I beare your houſe.
The purpoſe you vndertake is dangerous. Why that's certaine: 'Tis dangerous to take a Colde, to ſleepe, to drinke: but I tell you (my Lord foole) out of this Nettle, Danger; we plucke this Flower, Safety. The purpoſe you vndertake is dangerous, the Friends you haue named vncertaine, the Time it ſelfe vnſorted, and your whole Plot too light, for the counterpoize of ſo great an Oppoſition. Say you ſo, ſay you ſo: I ſay vnto you againe, you are a ſhallow cowardly Hinde, and you Lye. What a lacke-braine is this? I proteſt, our plot is as good a plot as euer was laid; our Friend true and conſtant: A good Plotte, good Friends, and full of expectation: An excellent plot, very good Friends. What a Froſty-ſpirited rogue is this? Why, my Lord of Yorke commends the plot, and the generall courſe of the action. By this hand, if I were now by this Raſcall, I could braine him with his Ladies Fan. Is there not my Father, my Vnckle, and my Selfe, Lord
How now Kate, I muſt leaue you within theſe two hours.
What ho; Is Gilliams with the Packet gone?
He is my Lord, an houre agone.
Hath Butler brought thoſe horſes fro
One horſe, my Lord, he brought euen now.
What Horſe? A Roane, a crop eare, is it not.
It is my Lord.
That Roane ſhall be my Throne. Well, I will backe him ſtraight. Eſperance, bid Butler lead him forth into the Parke.
But heare you, my Lord.
What ſay'ſt thou my Lady?
What is it carries you away?
Why, my horſe (my Loue) my horſe.
Out you mad-headed Ape, a Weazell hath not ſuch a deale of Spleene, as you are toſt with. In ſooth Ile know your buſineſſe Harry, that I will. I feare my BroMortimer doth ſtirre about his Title, and hath ſent for you to line his enterprize. But if you go—
So farre a foot, I ſhall be weary, Loue.
Come, come, you Paraquito, anſwer me directly vnto this queſtion, that I ſhall aske. Indeede Ile breake thy little finger Harry, if thou wilt not tel me true.
How ſo farre?
It muſt of force.
Ned, prethee come out of that fat roome, & lend me thy hand to laugh a little.
Where haſt bene Hall?
With three or foure Logger-heads, amongſt 3. or foureſcore Hogſheads. I haue ſounded the verie baſe ſtring of humility. Sirra, I am ſworn brother to a leaſh of Drawers, and can call them by their names, as Tom, Dicke, and Francis. They take it already vpon their confidence, that though I be but Prince of Wales, yet I am the King of Curteſie: telling me flatly I am no proud lack like Falſtaffe, but a Corinthian, a lad of mettle, a good boy, and when I am King of England, I ſhall command al the good Laddes in Eaſt-cheape. They call drinking deepe, dy
Francis.
Thou art perfect.
Francis.
Anon, anon ſir; looke downe into the PomgarRalfe.
Come hither Francis.
My Lord.
How long haſt thou to ſerue, Francis?
Forſooth fiue yeares, and as much as to—
Francis.
Anon, anon ſir.
Fiue yeares: Betlady a long Leaſe for the clin
O Lord ſir, Ile be ſworne vpon all the Books in England, I could finde in my heart.
Francis.
Anon, anon ſir.
How old art thou, Francis?
Let me ſee, about Michaelmas next I ſhalbe—
Francis.
Anon ſir, pray you ſtay a little, my Lord.
Nay but harke you Francis, for the Sugar thou gaueſt me, 'twas a penyworth, was't not?
O Lord ſir, I would it had bene two.
I will giue thee for it a thouſand pound: Aske me when thou wilt, and thou ſhalt haue it.
Francis.
Anon, anon.
Anon Francis? No Francis, but to morrow Fran
My Lord.
Wilt thou rob this Leatherne Ierkin, Chriſtall button, Not-pated, Agat ring, Puke ſtocking, Caddice garter, Smooth tongue, Spaniſh pouch.
O Lord ſir, who do you meane?
Why then your browne Baſtard is your onely drinke: for looke you Francis, your white Canuas doub
What ſir?
Francis.
What, ſtand'ſt thou ſtill, and hear'ſt ſuch a calIohn with halfe a dozen more, are at the doore: ſhall I let them in?
Let them alone awhile, and then open the doore. Poines.
Anon, anon ſir.
Sirra, Falſtaffe and the reſt of the Theeues, are at the doore, ſhall we be merry?
As merrie as Crickets my Lad. But harke yee, What cunning match haue you made with this ieſt of the Drawer? Come, what's the iſſue?
I am now of all humors, that haue ſhewed themAdam, to the pupill age of this preſent twelue a clock at midnight. What's a clocke Francis?
Anon, anon ſir.
That euer this Fellow ſhould haue fewer words then a Parret, and yet the ſonne of a Woman. His induPercies mind, the HotHarry ſayes ſhe, how many haſt thou kill'd to day? Giue my Roane horſe a drench (ſayes hee) and anſweres, ſome fourteene, an houre after: a trifle, a trifle. I prethee call in Falſtaffe, Ile play Percy, and that damn'd Brawne ſhall play Dame Mortimer his wife. Rino, ſayes the drun
Welcome Iacke, where haſt thou beene?
A plague of all Cowards I ſay, and a Vengeance too, marry and Amen. Giue me a cup of Sacke Boy. Ere I leade this life long, Ile ſowe nether ſtockes, and mend them too. A plague of all cowards. Giue me a Cup of Sacke, Rogue. Is there no Vertue extant?
Didſt thou neuer ſee Titan kiſſe a diſh of Butter, pittifull hearted Titan that melted at the ſweete Tale of the Sunne? If thou didſt, then behold that compound.
You Rogue, heere's Lime in this Sacke too: there is nothing but Roguery to be found in Villanous man; yet a Coward is worſe then a Cup of Sack with lime. A vil
How now Woolſacke, what mutter you?
A Kings Sonne? If I do not beate thee out of thy Kingdome with a dagger of Lath, and driue all thy Sub
Why you horſon round man? what's the matter?
Are you not a Coward? Anſwer me to that, and Poines there?
Ye fatch paunch, and yee call mee Coward, Ile ſtab thee.
I call thee Coward? Ile ſee thee damn'd ere I call the Coward: but I would giue a thouſand pound I could run as faſt as thou canſt. You are ſtraight enough in the ſhoulders, you care not who ſees your backe: Call you
O Villaine, thy Lippes are ſcarce wip'd, ſince thou drunk'ſt laſt.
What's the matter?
What's the matter? here be foure of vs, haue ta'ne a thouſand pound this Morning.
Where is it, Iack? where is it?
Where is it? taken from vs, it is: a hundred vpon poore foure of vs.
What, a hundred, man?
I am a Rogue, if I were not at halfe Sword with a dozen of them two houres together. I haue ſcaped by miracle. I am eight times thruſt through the Doublet, foure through the Hoſe, my Buckler cut through and through, my Sword hackt like a Hand-ſaw, ecce ſignum. I neuer dealt better ſince I was a man: all would not doe. A plague of all Cowards: let them ſpeake; if they ſpeake more or leſſe then truth, they are villaines, and the ſonnes of darkneſſe.
Speake ſirs, how was it?
We foure ſet vpon ſome dozen.
Sixteene, at leaſt, my Lord.
And bound them.
No, no, they were not bound.
You Rogue, they were bound, euery man of them, or I am a Iew elſe, an Ebrew Iew.
As we were ſharing, ſome ſixe or ſeuen freſh men ſet vpon vs.
And vnbound the reſt, and then come in the other.
What, fought yee with them all?
All? I know not what yee call all: but if I fought not with fiftie of them, I am a bunch of Radiſh: if there were not two or three and fiftie vpon poore olde Iack, then am I no two-legg'd Creature.
Pray Heauen, you haue not murthered ſome of them.
Nay, that's paſt praying for, I haue pepper'd two of them: Two I am ſure I haue payed, two Rogues in Buckrom Sutes. I tell thee what, Hal, if I tell thee a Lye, ſpit in my face, call me Horſe: thou knoweſt my olde word: here I lay, and thus I bore my point; foure Rogues in Buckrom let driue at me.
What, foure? thou ſayd'ſt but two, euen now.
Foure Hal, I told thee foure.
I, I, he ſaid foure.
Theſe foure came all a-front, and mainely thruſt at me; I made no more adoe, but tooke all their ſeuen points in my Targuet, thus.
Seuen? why there were but foure, euen now.
In Buckrom.
I, foure, in Buckrom Sutes.
Seuen, by theſe Hilts, or I am a Villaine elſe.
Prethee let him alone, we ſhall haue more anon.
Doeſt thou heare me, Hal?
I, and marke thee too, Iack.
Doe ſo, for it is worth the liſtning too: theſe nine in Buckrom, that I told thee of.
So, two more alreadie.
Their Points being broken.
Downe fell his Hoſe.
Began to giue me ground: but I followed me cloſe, came in foot and hand; and with a thought, ſeuen of the eleuen I pay'd.
O monſtrous! eleuen Buckrom men growne out of two?
But as the Deuill would haue it, three miſ-beHal, that thou could'ſt not ſee thy Hand.
Theſe Lyes are like the Father that begets them, groſſe as a Mountaine, open, palpable. Why thou Clay-brayn'd Guts, thou Knotty-pated Foole, thou Horſon ob
What, art thou mad? art thou mad? is not the truth, the truth?
Why, how could'ſt thou know theſe men in Kendall Greene, when it was ſo darke, thou could'ſt not ſee thy Hand? Come, tell vs your reaſon: what ſay'ſt thou to this?
Come, your reaſon Iack, your reaſon.
What, vpon compulſion? No: were I at the Strappado, or all the Racks in the World, I would not tell you on compulſion. Giue you a reaſon on compulſi
Ile be no longer guiltie of this ſinne. This ſan
Away you Starueling, you Elfe-skin, you dried Neats tongue, Bulles-piſſell, you ſtocke-fiſh: O for breth to vtter. What is like thee? You Tailors yard, you ſheath you Bow-caſe, you vile ſtanding tucke.
Well, breath a-while, and then to't againe: and when thou haſt tyr'd thy ſelfe in baſe compariſons, heare me ſpeake but thus.
Marke Iacke.
We two, ſaw you foure ſet on foure and bound them, and were Maſters of their Wealth: mark now how a plaine Tale ſhall put you downe. Then did we two, ſet on you foure, and with a word, outfac'd you from your prize, and haue it: yea, and can ſhew it you in the Houſe. And Falſtaffe, you caried your Guts away as nimbly, with as quicke dexteritie, and roared for mercy, and ſtill ranne and roar'd, as euer I heard Bull-Calfe. What a Slaue art thou, to hacke thy ſword as thou haſt done, and then ſay it was in fight. What trick? what deuices? what ſtarting hole canſt thou now find out, to hide thee from this open and apparant ſhame?
Come, let's heare Iacke: What tricke haſt thou now?
I knew ye as well as he that made ye. Why heare ye my Maſters, was it for me to kill the Heire apparant? Should I turne vpon the true Prince? Why, thou knoweſt I am as valiant as Hercules: but beware Inſtinct, the Lion will not touch the true Prince: Inſtinct is a great matter. I was a Coward on Inſtinct: I ſhall thinke the better of my ſelfe, and thee, during my life: I, for a valiant Lion, and thou for a true Prince. But Lads, I am glad you haue the Mony. Hoſteſſe, clap to the doores: watch to night, pray to morrow. Gallants, Lads, Boyes, Harts of Gold, all the good Titles of Fellowſhip come to you. What, ſhall we be merry? ſhall we haue a Play extempory.
Content, and the argument ſhall be, thy runing away.
A, no more of that Hall, and thou loueſt me.
My Lord, the Prince?
How now my Lady the Hoſteſſe, what ſay'ſt thou to me?
Marry, my Lord, there is a Noble man of the Court at doore would ſpeake with you: hee ſayes, hee comes from your Father.
Giue him as much as will make him a Royall man
What manner of man is hee?
An old man.
Prethee doe Iacke.
'Faith, and Ile ſend him packing.
Now Sirs: you fought faire; ſo did you Peto, ſo did you Bardol: you are Lyons too, you ranne away vpon inſtinct: you will not touch the true Prince; no, fie.
'Faith, I ranne when I ſaw others runne.
Tell mee now in earneſt, how came Falſtaffes Sword ſo hackt?
Why, he hackt it with his Dagger, and ſaid, hee would ſweare truth out of England, but hee would make you beleeue it was done in fight, and perſwaded vs to doe the like.
Yea, and to tickle our Noſes with Spear-graſſe, to make them bleed, and then to beſlubber our garments with it, and ſweare it was the blood of true men. I did that I did not this ſeuen yeeres before, I bluſht to heare his monſtrous deuices.
O Villaine, thou ſtoleſt a Cup of Sacke eigh
My Lord, doe you ſee theſe Meteors? doe you behold theſe Exhalations?
I doe.
What thinke you they portend?
Hot Liuers, and cold Purſes.
Choler, my Lord, if rightly taken.
No, if rightly taken, Halter.
Heere comes leane Iacke, heere comes bare-bone. How now my ſweet Creature of Bombaſt, how long is't agoe, Iacke, ſince thou ſaw'ſt thine owne Knee?
My owne Knee? When I was about thy yeeres (Hal) I was not an Eagles Talent in the Waſte, I could haue crept into any Aldermans Thumbe-Ring: a plague of ſighing and griefe, it blowes a man vp like a Bladder. There's villanous Newes abroad: heere was Sir Iohn Braby from your Father; you muſt goe to the Court in the Morning. The ſame mad fellow of the North, Percy; and hee of Wales, that gaue Amamon the Baſtinado, and made Lucifer Cuckold, and ſwore the Deuill his true Liege-man vpon the Croſſe of a Welch-hooke; what a plague call you him?
O, Glendower.
Owen, Owen; the ſame, and his Sonne in Law Mortimer, and old Northumberland, and the ſprightly Scot of Scots, Dowglas, that runnes a Horſe-backe vp a Hill perpendicular.
Hee that rides at high ſpeede, and with a Piſtoll kills a Sparrow flying.
You haue hit it.
So did he neuer the Sparrow.
Well, that Raſcall hath good mettall in him, hee will not runne.
Why, what a Raſcall art thou then, to prayſe him ſo for running?
A Horſe-backe (ye Cuckoe) but a foot hee will not budge a foot.
Yes Iacke, vpon inſtinct.
I grant ye, vpon inſtinct: Well, hee is there too, and one Mordake, and a thouſand blew-Cappes more. Worceſter is ſtolne away by Night: thy Fathers Beard is turn'd white with the Newes; you may buy Land now as cheape as ſtinking Mackrell.
Then 'tis like, if there come a hot Sunne, and this ciuill buffetting hold, wee ſhall buy Maiden-heads as they buy Hob-nayles, by the Hundreds.
By the Maſſe Lad, thou ſay'ſt true, it is like wee ſhall haue good trading that way. But tell me Hal, art not thou horrible afear'd? thou being Heire apparant, could the World picke thee out three ſuch Enemyes aDowglas, that Spirit Percy, and that Deuill Glendower? Art not thou horrible afraid? Doth not thy blood thrill at it?
Not a whit: I lacke ſome of thy inſtinct.
Well, thou wilt be horrible chidde to morrow, when thou commeſt to thy Father: if thou doe loue me, practiſe an anſwere.
Doe thou ſtand for my Father, and examine mee vpon the particulars of my Life.
Shall I? content: This Chayre ſhall bee my State, this Dagger my Scepter, and this Cuſhion my Crowne.
Thy State is taken for a Ioyn'd-Stoole, thy Gol
Well, and the fire of Grace be not quite out of thee now ſhalt thou be moued. Giue me a Cup of Sacke to make mine eyes looke redde, that it may be thought I haue wept, for I muſt ſpeake in paſſion, and I will doe it in King Cambyſes vaine.
Well, heere is my Legge.
And heere is my ſpeech: ſtand aſide Nobilitie.
This is excellent ſport, yfaith.
Weepe not, ſweet Queene, for trickling teares are vaine.
O the Father, how hee holdes his counte
O rare, he doth it as like one of theſe harlotry Players, as euer I ſee.
Peace good Pint-pot, peace good Tickle-braine. Harry, I doe not onely maruell where thou ſpendeſt thy time; but alſo, how thou art accompanied: For though the Camomile, the more it is troden, the faſter it growes; yet Youth, the more it is waſted, the ſooner it weares. Thou art my Sonne: I haue partly thy Mothers Word, partly my Opinion; but chiefely, a villanous tricke of thine Eye, and a fooliſh hanging of thy nether Lippe, that doth warrant me. If then thou be Sonne to mee, heere lyeth the point: why, being Sonne to me, art thou ſo poynted at? Shall the bleſſed Sonne of Heauen proue a Micher, and eate Black-berryes? a queſtion not to bee askt. Shall the Sonne of England proue a Theefe, and take Purſes? a queſtion to be askt. There is a thing, Harry, which thou haſt often heard of, and it is knowne to
Harry, now I doe not ſpeake to thee in Drinke, but in Teares; not in Pleaſure, but in Paſ
What manner of man, and it like your Ma
A goodly portly man yfaith, and a corpulent, of a chearefull Looke, a pleaſing Eye, and a moſt noble Carriage, and as I thinke, his age ſome fiftie, or (byrlady) inclining to threeſcore; and now I remember mee, his Name is Falſtaffe: if that man ſhould be lewdly giuen, hee deceiues mee; for Harry, I ſee Vertue in his Lookes. If then the Tree may be knowne by the Fruit, as the Fruit by the Tree, then peremptorily I ſpeake it, there is Vertue in that Falſtaffe: him keepe with, the reſt baniſh. And tell mee now, thou naughtie Varlet, tell mee, where haſt thou beene this moneth?
Do'ſt thou ſpeake like a King? doe thou ſtand for mee, and Ile play my Father.
Depoſe me: if thou do'ſt it halfe ſo grauely, ſo maieſtically, both in word and matter, hang me vp by the heeles for a Rabbet-ſucker, or a Poulters Hare.
Well, heere I am ſet.
And heere I ſtand: iudge my Maſters.
Now Harry, whence come you?
My Noble Lord, from Eaſt-cheape.
The complaints I heare of thee, are grieuous.
Yfaith, my Lord, they are falſe: Nay, Ile tickle ye for a young Prince.
Sweareſt thou, vngracious Boy? henceforth ne're looke on me: thou art violently carryed away from Grace: there is a Deuill haunts thee, in the likeneſſe of a fat old Man; a Tunne of Man is thy Companion: Why do'ſt thou conuerſe with that Trunke of Humors, that Boulting-Hutch of Beaſtlineſſe, that ſwolne Parcell of Dropſies, that huge Bombard of Sacke, that ſtuft Cloake-bagge of Guts, that roſted Manning Tree Oxe with the Pudding in his Belly, that reuerend Vice, that grey Ini
I would your Grace would take me with you: whom meanes your Grace?
That villanous abhominable mis-leader of Youth, Falstaffe, that old white-bearded Sathan.
My Lord, the man I know.
I know thou do'ſt.
But to ſay, I know more harme in him then in my ſelfe, were to ſay more then I know. That hee is olde (the more the pittie) his white hayres doe witneſſe it: but that hee is (ſauing your reuerence) a Whore-maPharaohs leane Kine are to be loued. No, my good Lord, baniſh Peto, baniſh Bardolph, baniſh Poines: but for ſweete Iacke Falstaffe, kinde Iacke Falstaffe, true Iacke Falstaffe, valiant Iacke Falſtaffe, and therefore more valiant, being as hee is olde
I doe, I will.
O, my Lord, my Lord, the Sherife, with a moſt moſt monſtrous Watch, is at the doore.
Out you Rogue, play out the Play: I haue much to ſay in the behalfe of that Falſtaffe.
O, my Lord, my Lord.
Heigh, heigh, the Deuill rides vpon a Fiddle-ſticke: what's the matter?
The Sherife and all the Watch are at the doore: they are come to ſearch the Houſe, ſhall I let them in?
Do'ſt thou heare Hal, neuer call a true peece of Gold a Counterfeit: thou art eſſentially made, without ſeeming ſo.
And thou a naturall Coward, without in
I deny your Maior: if you will deny the Sherife, ſo: if not, let him enter. If I become not a Cart as well as another man, a plague on my bringing vp: I hope I ſhall as ſoone be ſtrangled with a Halter, as ano
Goe hide thee behinde the Arras, the reſt walke vp aboue. Now my Maſters, for a true Face and good Conſcience.
Both which I haue had: but their date is out, and therefore Ile hide me.
Call in the Sherife.
Now Maſter Sherife, what is your will with mee?
Firſt pardon me, my Lord. A Hue and Cry hath followed certaine men vnto this houſe.
What men?
One of them is well knowne, my gracious Lord, a groſſe fat man.
As fat as Butter.
Good Night, my Noble Lord.
I thinke it is good Morrow, is it not?
Indeede, my Lord, I thinke it be two a Clocke.
This oyly Raſcall is knowne as well as Poules: goe call him forth.
Falſtaffe? faſt aſleepe behinde the Arras, and ſnorting like a Horſe.
Harke, how hard he fetches breath: ſearch his Pockets.
What haſt thou found?
Nothing but Papers, my Lord.
Let's ſee, what be they? reade them.
O monſtrous, but one halfe penny-worth of Bread to this intollerable deale of Sacke? What there is elſe, keepe cloſe, wee'le reade it at more aduantage: there let him ſleepe till day. Ile to the Court in the Morning: Wee muſt all to the Warres, and thy place ſhall be honoPeto.
Good morrow, good my Lord.
And you in Hell, as oft as he heares Owen Glendower ſpoke of.
Why ſo it would haue done at the ſame ſeaſon, if your Mothers Cat had but kitten'd, though your ſelfe had neuer beene borne.
I ſay the Earth did ſhake when I was borne.
The Heauens were all on fire, the Earth did tremble.
Peace Couſin Percy, you will make him mad.
I can call Spirits from the vaſtie Deepe.
Why, I can teach thee, Couſin, to command the Deuill.
Come, come, no more of this vnprofitable Chat.
Not winde? it ſhall, it muſt, you ſee it doth.
Ile haue it ſo, a little Charge will doe it.
Ile not haue it alter'd.
Will not you?
No, nor you ſhall not.
Who ſhall ſay me nay?
Why, that will I.
Let me not vnderſtand you then, ſpeake it in Welſh.
Come, you ſhall haue Trent turn'd.
Fie, Couſin Percy, how you croſſe my Fa
Nay, if thou melt, then will ſhe runne madde.
O, I am Ignorance it ſelfe in this.
Goe, ye giddy-Gooſe.
I had rather heare (Lady) my Brach howle in Iriſh.
Would'ſt haue thy Head broken?
No.
Then be ſtill.
Neyther, 'tis a Womans fault.
Now God helpe thee.
To the Welſh Ladies Bed.
What's that?
Peace, ſhee ſings.
Come, Ile haue your Song too.
Not mine, in good ſooth.
I will not ſing.
'Tis the next way to turne Taylor, or be Red
With all my heart.
Bardolph, am I not falne away vilely, ſince this laſt action? doe I not bate? doe I not dwindle? Why my skinne hangs about me like an olde Ladies looſe Gowne: I am withered like an olde Apple Iohn. Well, Ile repent, and that ſuddenly, while I am in ſome li
Sir Iohn, you are ſo fretfull, you cannot liue long.
Why there is it: Come, ſing me a bawdy Song, make me merry: I was as vertuouſly giuen, as a Gentle
Why, you are ſo fat, Sir Iohn, that you muſt Iohn.
Doe thou amend thy Face, and Ile amend thy Life: Thou art our Admirall, thou beareſt the Lanterne in the Poope, but 'tis in the Noſe of thee; thou art the Knight of the burning Lampe.
Why, Sir Iohn, my Face does you no harme.
No, Ile be ſworne: I make as good vſe of it, as many a man doth of a Deaths-Head, or a Memento Mori. I neuer ſee thy Face, but I thinke vpon Hell fire, and Diues that liued in Purple; for there he is in his Robes burning, burning. If thou wert any way giuen to vertue, I would ſweare by thy Face; my Oath ſhould bee, By this Fire: But thou art altogether giuen ouer; and wert indeede, but for the Light in thy Face, the Sunne of vtter DarkeIgnis fatnus, or a Ball of Wild-fire, there's no Purchaſe in Money. O, thou art a perpetuall Triumph, an euer
I would my Face were in your Belly.
So ſhould I be ſure to be heart-burn'd.
How now, Dame Partlet the Hen, haue you enquir'd yet who pick'd my Pocket?
Why Sir Iohn, what doe you thinke, Sir Iohn? doe you thinke I keepe Theeues in my Houſe? I haue ſearch'd, I haue enquired, ſo haz my Husband, Man by Man, Boy by Boy, Seruant by Seruant: the tight of a hayre was neuer loſt in my houſe before.
Ye lye Hoſteſſe: Bardolph was ſhau'd, and loſt many a hayre; and Ile be ſworne my Pocket was pick'd: goe to, you are a Woman, goe.
Who I? I defie thee: I was neuer call'd ſo in mine owne houſe before.
Goe to, I know you well enough.
No, Sir Iohn, you doe not know me, Sir Iohn: I know you, Sir Iohn: you owe me Money, Sir Iohn, and now you picke a quarrell, to beguile me of it: I bought you a dozen of Shirts to your Backe.
Doulas
Now as I am a true Woman, Holland of eight ſhillings an Ell: You owe Money here beſides, Sir Iohn, for your Dyet, and by-Drinkings, and Money lent you, foure and twentie pounds.
Hee had his part of it, let him pay.
Hee? alas hee is poore, hee hath no
How? Poore? Looke vpon his Face: What call you Rich? Let them coyne his Noſe, let them coyne his Cheekes, Ile not pay a Denier. What, will you make a Yo
I haue heard the Prince tell him, I know not how oft that that Ring was Copper.
How? the Prince is a Iacke, a Sneake-Cuppe: and if hee were heere, I would cudgell him like a Dogge, if hee would ſay ſo.
Yea, two and two, Newgate faſhion.
My Lord, I pray you heare me.
What ſay'ſt thou, Miſtreſſe Quickly? How does thy Husband? I loue him well, hee is an honeſt man.
Good, my Lord, heare mee.
Prethee let her alone, and lift to mee.
What ſay'ſt thou, Iacke?
The other Night I fell aſleepe heere behind the Arras, and had my Pocket pickt: this Houſe is turn'd Bawdy-houſe, they picke Pockets.
What didſt thou loſe, Iacke?
Wilt thou beleeue me, Hal? Three or foure Bonds of fortie pound apeece, and a Seale-Ring of my Grand
A Trifle, ſome eight-penny matter.
So I told him, my Lord; and I ſaid, I heard your Grace ſay ſo: and (my Lord) hee ſpeakes moſt vilely of you, like a foule-mouth'd man as hee is, and ſaid, hee would cudgell you.
What hee did not?
There's neyther Faith, Truth, nor Woman-hood in me elſe.
There's no more faith in thee then a ſtu'de Prune; nor no more truth in thee, then in a drawne Fox: and for Wooman-hood, Maid-marian may be the Deputies wife of the Ward to thee. Go you nothing: go.
Say, what thing? what thing?
What thing? why a thing to thanke heauen on.
I am no thing to thanke heauen on, I wold thou ſhouldſt know it: I am an honeſt mans wife: and ſetting thy Knighthood aſide, thou art a knaue to call me ſo.
Setting thy woman-hood aſide, thou art a beaſt to ſay otherwiſe.
Say, what beaſt, thou knaue thou?
What beaſt? Why an Otter.
An Otter, ſir Iohn? Why an Otter?
Why? She's neither fiſh nor fleſh; a man knowes not where to haue her.
Thou art vniuſt man in ſaying ſo; thou, or anie man knowes where to haue me, thou knaue thou.
Thou ſay'ſt true Hoſteſſe, and he ſlanders thee moſt groſſely.
So he doth you, my Lord, and ſayde this other day, You ought him a thouſand pound.
Sirrah, do I owe you a thouſand pound?
A thouſand pound Hal? A Million. Thy loue is worth a Million: thou ow'ſt me thy loue.
Nay my Lord, he call'd you Iacke, and ſaid hee would cudgell you.
Did I, Bardolph?
Indeed Sir Iohn, you ſaid ſo.
Yea, if he ſaid my Ring was Copper.
I ſay 'tis Copper. Dar'ſt thou bee as good as thy word now?
Why Hal? thou know'ſt, as thou art but a man, I dare: but, as thou art a Prince, I feare thee, as I feare the roaring of the Lyons Whelpe.
And why not as the Lyon?
The King himſelfe is to bee feared as the Lyon: Do'ſt thou thinke Ile feare thee, as I feare thy Father? nay if I do, let my Girdle breake.
O, if it ſhouldMemorandums of Bawdie-houſes, and one poore peny-worth of Sugar-candie to make thee long-winded: if thy pocket were enrich'd with anie o
Do'ſt thou heare Hal? Thou know'ſt in the ſtate of Innocency, Adam fell: and what ſhould poore Iacke Falſtaffe do, in the dayes of Villany? Thou ſeeſt, I haue more fleſh then another man, and therefore more frailty. You confeſſe then you pickt my Pocket?
It appeares ſo by the Story.
O, I do not like that paying backe, 'tis a double Labour.
I am good Friends with my Father, and may do anything.
Rob me the Exchequer the firſt thing thou do'ſt, and do it with vnwaſh'd hands too.
Do my Lord.
I haue procured thee Iacke, a Charge of Foot.
I would it had beene of Horſe. Where ſhal I finde one that can ſteale well? O, for a fine theefe of two and twentie, or thereabout: I am heynouſly vnprouided. Wel God be thanked for theſe Rebels, they offend none but the Vertuous. I laud them, I praiſe them.
Bardolph.
My Lord.
Theſe Letters come from your Father.
His Letters beares his minde, not I his minde.
I prethee tell me, doth he keepe his Bed?
Your Fathers ſickneſſe is a mayme to vs.
My Couſin Vernon, welcome by my Soule.
No harme: what more?
That's the worſt Tidings that I heare of yet.
I by my faith, that beares a froſty ſound.
What may the Kings whole Battaile reach vnto?
To thirty thouſand.
Bardolph, get thee before to Couentry, fill me a Bottle of Sack, our Souldiers ſhall march through: wee'le to Sutton-cop-hill to Night.
Will you giue me Money, Captaine?
Lay out, lay out.
This Bottle makes an Angell.
And if it doe, take it for thy labour: and if it make twentie, take them all, He anſwere the Coynage. Bid my Lieutenant Peto meete me at the Townes end.
I will Captaine: farewell.
If I be not aſham'd of my Souldiers, I am a ſowc't-Gurnet: I haue miſ-vs'd the Kings Preſſe damLazarus in the painted Cloth, where the Glut
How now blowne Iack? how now Quilt?
What Hal? How now mad Wag, what a Deuill do'ſt thou in Warwickſhire? My good Lord of Weſt
'Faith, Sir Iohn, 'tis more then time that I were there, and you too: but my Powers are there alreadie. The King, I can tell you, lookes for vs all: we muſt away all to Night.
Tut, neuer feare me, I am as vigilant as a Cat, to ſteale Creame.
I thinke to ſteale Creame indeed, for thy theft hath alreadie made thee Butter: but tell me, Iack, whoſe fellowes are theſe that come after?
Mine, Hal, mine.
I did neuer ſee ſuch pittifull Raſcals.
Tut, tut, good enough to toſſe: foode for Pow
I, but Sir Iohn, me thinkes they are exceeding poore and bare, too beggarly.
Faith, for their pouertie, I know not where they had that; and for their bareneſſe, I am ſure they neuer learn'd that of me.
No, Ile be ſworne, vnleſſe you call three fingers on the Ribbes bare. But ſirra, make haſte, Percy is already in the field.
What, is the King encamp'd?
Hee is, Sir Iohn, I feare wee ſhall ſtay too long.
Well, to the latter end of a Fray, and the begin
Wee'le fight with him to Night.
It may not be.
You giue him then aduantage.
Not a whit.
Why ſay you ſo? lookes he not for ſupply?
So doe wee.
His is certaine, ours is doubtfull.
Good Couſin be aduis'd, ſtirre not to night.
Doe not, my Lord.
Yea, or to night.
Content.
To night, ſay I.
Tut, I came not to heare this.
Shall I returne this anſwer to the King?
I would you would accept of Grace and Loue.
And't may be, ſo wee ſhall.
Pray Heauen you doe.
My good Lord, I gueſſe their tenor.
No, Mortimer is not there.
Doubt not my Lord, he ſhall be well oppos'd
You haue not ſought it: how comes it then?
Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
Peace, Chewet, peace.
I would it were bed time Hal, and all well.
Why, thou ow'ſt heauen a death.
'Tis not due yet: I would bee loath to pay him before his day. What neede I bee ſo forward with him, that call's not on me? Well, 'tis no matter, Honor prickes me on. But how if Honour pricke me off when I come on? How then? Can Honour ſet too a legge? No: or an arme? No: Or take away the greefe of a wound? No. Honour hath no skill in Surgerie, then? No. What is Ho
'Twere beſt he did.
The King will bid you battell preſently.
Defie him by the Lord of Weſtmerland.
Lord Dowglas: Go you and tell him ſo.
Marry and ſhall, and verie willingly.
There is no ſeeming mercy in the King.
Did you begge any? God forbid.
My Lord, heere are Letters for you.
My Lord prepare, the King comes on apace.
They tell thee true.
O Dowglas, hadſt thou fought at Holmedon thus I neuer had triumphed o're a Scot.
All's done, all's won, here breathles lies the king
Where?
Heere.
The King hath many marching in his Coats.
Though I could ſcape ſhot-free at London, I fear the ſhot heere: here's no ſcoring, but vpon the pate. Soft who are you? Sir Walter Blunt, there's Honour for you: here's no vanity, I am as hot as molten Lead, and as hea
O Hal, I prethee giue me leaue to breath awhile: Turke Gregory neuer did ſuch deeds in Armes, as I haue done this day. I haue paid Percy, I haue made him ſure.
Nay Hal, if Percy bee aliue, thou getſt not my Sword; but take my Piſtoll if thou wilt.
Giue it me: What, is it in the Caſe?
I Hal, 'tis hot: There's that will Sacke a City.
What, is it a time to ieſt and dally now.
If Percy be aliue, Ile pierce him: if he do come in my way, ſo: if he do not, if I come in his (willingly) let him make a Carbonado of me: I like not ſuch grinning honour as Sir Walter hath: Giue mee life, which if I can ſaue, ſo: if not, honour comes vnlook'd for, and ther's an end.
I prethee Harry withdraw thy ſelfe, thou bleeIohn of Lancaſter, go you with him.
Not I, my Lord, vnleſſe I did bleed too.
Come my Lord, Ile leade you to your Tent.
O this Boy lends mettall to vs all.
Make vp to Clifton, Ile to Sir Nicholas Gauſey.
If I miſtake not, thou art Harry Monmouth.
Thou ſpeak'ſt as if I would deny my name.
My name is Harrie Percie.
I can no longer brooke thy Vanities.
Well ſaid Hal, to it Hal. Nay you ſhall finde no Boyes play heere, I can tell you.
Imbowell'd? If thou imbowell mee to day, Ile giue you leaue to powder me, and eat me too to morow. 'Twas time to counterfet, or that hotte Termagant Scot, had paid the ſcot and lot too, Counterfeit? I am no counPercy though he be dead. How if hee ſhould counterfeit too, and riſe? I am afraid hee would proue the better counterfeit: therefore Ile make him ſure: yea, and Ile ſweare I kill'd him. Why may not hee riſe as well as I: Nothing confutes me but eyes, and no-bodie ſees me. Therefore ſirra, with a new wound in your thigh come you along me.
Come Brother Iohn, full brauely haſt thou fleſht thy Maiden ſword.
No, that's certaine: I am not a double man: but if I be not Iacke Falſtaffe, then am I a Iacke: There is Percy, if your Father will do me any Honor, ſo: if not, let him kill the next
Why, Percy I kill'd my ſelfe, and ſaw thee dead.
Did'ſt thou? Lord, Lord, how the world is giuen to Lying? I graunt you I was downe, and out of Breath, and ſo was he, but we roſe both at an inſtant, and fought a long houre by Shrewsburie clocke. If I may bee belee
This is the ſtrangeſt Tale that e're I heard.
Ile follow as they ſay, for Reward. Hee that re
With all my heart.
What ſhall I ſay you are?
Heere comes the Earle.
Good, and heauen will.
I cannot thinke (my Lord) your ſon is dead.
Sweet Earle, diuorce not wiſedom from your Honor.
Sirra, you giant, what ſaies the Doct. to my water?
He ſaid ſir, the water it ſelfe was a good healthy water: but for the party that ow'd it, he might haue more diſeaſes then he knew for.
Men of all ſorts take a pride to gird at mee: the braine of this fooliſh compounded Clay-man, is not able to inuent any thing that tends to laughter, more then I inuent, or is inuented on me. I am not onely witty in my ſelfe, but the cauſe that wit is in other men. I doe heere walke before thee, like a Sow, that hath o'rewhelm'd all her Litter, but one. If the Prince put thee into my SerIuuenall (the Prince your Maſter) whoſe Chin is not yet fledg'd, I will ſooner haue a beard grow in the Palme of my hand, then he ſhall get one on his cheeke: yet he will not ſticke to ſay, his Face is a Face-Royall. Heauen may finiſh it when he will, it is not a haire amiſſe yet: he may keepe it ſtill at a Face-Royall, for a Barber ſhall neuer earne ſix pence out of it; and yet he will be crowing, as if he had writ man euer ſince his Father was a Batchellour. He may keepe his owne Grace, but he is almoſt out of mine, I can aſſure him. What ſaid M. Dombledon, about the Satten for my ſhort Cloake, and Slops?
He ſaid ſir, you ſhould procure him better AſſuBardolfe: he wold not take his Bond & yours, he lik'd not the Security.
Let him bee damn'd like the Glutton, may his Tongue be hotter, a horſon Achitophel; a Raſcally-yea-forſooth-knaue, to beare a Gentleman in hand, and then ſtand vpon Security? The horſon ſmooth-pates doe now weare nothing but high ſhoes, and bunches of Keyes at their girdles: and if a man is through with them in hoBardolfe?
He's gone into Smithfield to buy your worſhip a horſe.
I bought him in Paules, and hee'l buy mee a horſe in Smithfield. If I could get mee a wife in the Stewes, I were Mann'd, Hors'd, and Wiu'd.
Sir, heere comes the Nobleman that committed the Prince for ſtriking him, about Bardolfe.
Wait cloſe, I will not ſee him.
What's he that goes there?
Falſtaffe, and't pleaſe your Lordſhip.
He that was in queſtion for the Robbery?
He my Lord, but he hath ſince done good ſeruice at Shrewsbury: and (as I heare) is now going with ſome Charge, to the Lord Iohn of Lancaſter.
What to Yorke? Call him backe againe.
Sir Iohn Falſtaffe.
Boy, tell him, I am deafe.
You muſt ſpeake lowder, my Maſter is deafe.
Sir Iohn.
What? a yong knaue and beg? Is there not wars? Is there not imployment? Doth not the K. lack ſubiects? Do not the Rebels want Soldiers? Though it be a ſhame to be
You miſtake me Sir.
Why ſir? Did I ſay you were an honeſt man? Set
I pray you (Sir) then ſet your Knighthood and your Souldier-ſhip aſide, and giue mee leaue to tell you, you lye in your throat, if you ſay I am any other then an honeſt man.
I giue thee leaue to tell me ſo? I lay a-ſide that which growes to me? If thou get'ſt any leaue of me, hang me: if thou tak'ſt leaue, thou wer't better be hang'd: you Hunt-counter, hence: Auant.
Sir, my Lord would ſpeake with you.
Sir Iohn Falſtaffe, a word with you.
My good Lord: giue your Lordſhip good time of the day. I am glad to ſee your Lordſhip abroad: I heard ſay your Lordſhip was ſicke. I hope your Lordſhip goes abroad by aduiſe. Your Lordſhip (though not clean paſt your youth) hath yet ſome ſmack of age in you: ſome rel
Sir Iohn, I ſent you before your Expedition, to Shrewsburie.
If it pleaſe your Lordſhip, I heare his Maieſtie is return'd with ſome diſcomfort from Wales.
I talke not of his Maieſty: you would not come when I ſent for you?
And I heare moreouer, his Highneſſe is falne into this ſame whorſon Apoplexie.
Well, heauen mend him. I pray let me ſpeak with you.
This Apoplexie is (as I take it) a kind of Lethar
What tell you me of it? be it as it is.
It hath it originall from much greefe; from ſtudy and perturbation of the braine. I haue read the cauſe of his effects in Galen. It is a kinde of deafeneſſe.
I thinke you are falne into the diſeaſe: For you heare not what I ſay to you.
Very well (my Lord) very well: rather an't pleaſe you) it is the diſeaſe of not Liſtning, the malady of not Marking, that I am troubled withall.
To puniſh you by the heeles, would amend the attention of your eares, & I care not if I be your Phyſitian
I am as poore as Iob, my Lord; but not ſo Patient: your Lordſhip may miniſter the Potion of impriſonment to me, in reſpect of Pouertie: but how I ſhould bee your Patient, to follow your preſcriptions, the wiſe may make ſome dram of a ſcruple, or indeede, a ſcruple it ſelfe.
I ſent for you (when there were matters againſt you for your life) to come ſpeake with me.
As I was then aduiſed by my learned Councel, in the lawes of this Land-ſeruice, I did not come.
Wel, the truth is (ſir Iohn) you liue in great infamy
He that buckles him in my belt, ca
Your Meanes is very ſlender, and your waſt great.
I would it were otherwiſe: I would my Meanes were greater, and my waſte ſlenderer.
You haue miſled the youthfull Prince.
The yong Prince hath miſled mee. I am the Fel
Well, I am loth to gall a new-heal'd wound: your daies ſeruice at Shrewsbury, hath a little gilded ouer your Nights exploit on Gads-hill. You may thanke the vnquiet time, for your quiet o're-poſting that Action.
My Lord?
But ſince all is wel, keep it ſo: wake not a ſleeping Wolfe.
To wake a Wolfe, is as bad as to ſmell a Fox.
What? you are as a candle, the better part burnt out
A Waſſell-Candle, my Lord; all Tallow: if I did ſay of wax, my growth would approue the truth.
There is not a white haire on your face, but ſhold haue his effect of grauity.
His effect of grauy, grauy, grauy.
You follow the yong Prince vp and downe, like his euill Angell.
Not ſo (my Lord) your ill Angell is light: but I hope, he that lookes vpon mee, will take mee without, weighing: and yet, in ſome reſpects I grant, I cannot go: I cannot tell. Vertue is of ſo little regard in theſe Coſtor
Do you ſet downe your name in the ſcrowle of youth, that are written downe old, with all the CharracIohn.
My Lord, I was borne with a white head, & ſom
Wel, heauen ſend the Prince a better companion.
Heauen ſend the Companion a better Prince: I cannot rid my hands of him.
Well, the King hath ſeuer'd you and Prince Harry, I heare you are going with Lord
Yes, I thanke your pretty ſweet wit for it: but looke you pray, (all you that kiſſe my Ladie Peace, at home) that our Armies ioyn not in a hot day: for if I take but two ſhirts out with me, and I meane not to ſweat ex
Well, be honeſt, be honeſt, and heauen bleſſe your Expedition.
Will your Lordſhip lend mee a thouſand pound, to furniſh me forth?
Not a peny, not a peny: you are too impatient to beare croſſes. Fare you well. Commend mee to my Coſin Weſtmerland.
If I do, fillop me with a three-man-Beetle. A man can no more ſeparate Age and Couetouſneſſe, then he can part yong limbes and letchery: but the Gowt galles the
Sir.
What money is in my purſe?
Seuen groats
I can get no remedy againſt this Conſumption of the purſe. Borrowing onely lingers, and lingers it out, but the diſeaſe is incureable. Go beare this letter to my Lord of Lancaſter, this to the Prince, this to the Earle of Weſtmerland, and this to old Miſtris
Ʋrſula, whome I haue weekly ſworne to marry, ſince I perceiu'd the firſt white haire on my chin. About it: you know where to finde me. A pox of this Gowt, or a Gowt of this Poxe: for the one or th' other playes the rogue with my great toe: It is no matter, if I do halt, I haue the warres for my colour, and my Penſion ſhall ſeeme the more reaſonable. A good wit will make vſe of any thing: I will turne diſ
With him, we may.
What is the King but fiue & twenty thouſand?
Who is it like ſhould lead his Forces hither?
Shall we go draw our numbers, and ſet on?
We are Times ſubiects, and Time bids, be gon.
Mr. Fang, haue you entred the Action?
It is enter'd.
Sirrah, where's Snare?
I, I, good M. Snare.
Heere, heere.
Snare, we muſt Arreſt Sir Iohn Falſtaffe.
I good M. Snare, I haue enter'd him, and all.
It may chance coſt ſome of vs our liues: he wil ſtab
Alas the day: take heed of him: he ſtabd me in mine owne houſe, and that moſt beaſtly: he cares not what miſcheefe he doth, if his weapon be out. Hee will foyne like any diuell, he will ſpare neither man, woman, nor childe.
If I can cloſe with him, I care not for his thruſt.
No, nor I neither: Ile be at your elbow.
If I but fiſt him once: if he come but within my Vice.
I am vndone with his going: I warrant he is an infinitiue thing vpon my ſcore. Good M. Fang hold him ſure: good M. Snare let him not ſcape, he comes continuSmoothes the Silkman. I pra'ye, ſince my Exion is enter'd, and my Caſe ſo openly known to the world, let him be brought in to his anſwer: A 100. Marke is a long one, for a poore lone woman to beare: & I haue borne, and borne, and borne, and haue bin fub'd off, and fub'd-off, from this day to that day, that it is a ſhame to be thought on. There is no honeſty in ſuch dealing, vnles a woman ſhould be made an Aſſe and a Beaſt, to beare e
Yonder he comes, and that arrant Malmeſey-Noſe Bardolfe with him. Do your Offices, do your offices: M.
How now? whoſe Mare's dead? what's the matter?
Sir Iohn, I arreſt you, at the ſuit of Miſt. Quickly.
Away Varlets, draw Bardolfe: Cut me off the Villaines head: throw the Queane in the Channel.
Throw me in the channell? Ile throw thee there. Wilt thou? wilt thou? thou baſtardly rogue. Murder, mur
Keep them off, Bardolfe.
A reſcu, a reſcu.
Good people bring a reſcu. Thou wilt not? thou wilt not? Do, do thou Rogue: Do thou Hempſeed.
Away you Scullion, you Rampallian, you Fuſtil
What's the matter? Keepe the Peace here, hoa.
Good my Lord be good to mee. I beſeech you ſtand to me.
Oh my moſt worſhipfull Lord, and't pleaſe your Grace, I am a poore widdow of Eaſtcheap, and he is arre
For what ſumme?
It is more then for ſome (my Lord) it is for all: all I haue, he hath eaten me out of houſe and home; hee hath put all my ſubſtance into that fat belly of his: but I will haue ſome of it out againe, or I will ride thee o' Nights, like the Mare.
I thinke I am as like to ride the Mare, if I haue any vantage of ground, to get vp.
How comes this, Sir Iohn? Fy, what a man of good temper would endure this tempeſt of exclamation? Are you not aſham'd to inforce a poore Widdowe to ſo rough a courſe, to come by her owne?
What is the groſſe ſumme that I owe thee?
Marry (if thou wer't an honeſt man) thy ſelfe, & the mony too. Thou didſt ſweare to mee vpon a parcell gilt Goblet, ſitting in my Dolphin-chamber at the round table, by a ſea-cole fire, on Wedneſday in Whitſon week, when the Prince broke thy head for lik'ning him to a ſinu deny it? Did not good wife Keech the Butchers wife come in then, and cal me goſſip Quickly? comming in to borrow a meſſe of Vinegar: telling vs, ſhe had a good diſh of Prawnes: whereby y
My Lord, this is a poore mad ſoule: and ſhe ſayes vp & downe the town, that her eldeſt ſon is like you. She hath bin in good caſe, & the truth is, pouerty hath diſtra
Sir Iohn, ſir Iohn, I am well acquainted with your maner of wrenching the true cauſe, the falſe way. It is not a confident brow, nor the throng of wordes, that come with ſuch (more then impudent) ſawcines from you, can thruſt me from a leuell conſideration, I know you ha' pra
Yes in troth my Lord.
Prethee peace: pay her the debt you owe her, and vnpay the villany you haue done her: the one you may do with ſterling mony, & the other with currant repentance.
My Lord, I will not vndergo this ſneape without reply. You call honorable Boldnes, impudent Sawcineſſe: If a man wil curt'ſie, and ſay nothing, he is vertuous: No, my Lord (your humble duty reme
You ſpeake, as hauing power to do wrong: But anſwer in the effect of your Reputation, and ſatisfie the poore woman.
Come hither Hoſteſſe.
Now Maſter Gower; What newes?
As I am a Gentleman.
Nay, you ſaid ſo before.
As I am a Gentleman. Come, no more words of it
By this Heauenly ground I tread on, I muſt be faine to pawne both my Plate, and the Tapiſtry of my dy
Glaſſes, glaſſes, is the onely drinking: and for thy walles a pretty ſlight Drollery, or the Storie of the Prodigall, or the Germane hunting in Waterworke, is worth a thouſand of theſe Bed-hangings, and theſe Fly-bitten Tapiſtries. Let it be tenne pound (if thou canſt.) Come, if it were not for thy humors, there is not a better Wench in England. Go, waſh thy face, and draw thy Action: Come, thou muſt not bee in this humour with me, come, I know thou was't ſet on to this.
Prethee (Sir Iohn) let it be but twenty Nobles, I loath to pawne my Plate, in good earneſt la.
Let it alone, Ile make other ſhift: you'l be a fool ſtill.
Well, you ſhall haue it although I pawne my Gowne. I hope you'l come to Supper: You'l pay me al
Will I liue? Go with her, with her: hooke-on, hooke-on.
Will you haue Doll Teare-ſheet meet you at ſup
No more words. Let's haue her.
I haue heard bitter newes.
What's the newes (my good Lord?)
Where lay the King laſt night?
At Baſingſtoke my Lord.
I hope (my Lord) all's well. What is the newes my Lord?
Come all his Forces backe?
Comes the King backe from Wales, my noble L?
My Lord.
What's the matter?
Maſter Gowre, ſhall I entreate you with mee to dinner?
Sir Iohn, you loyter heere too long being you are to take Souldiers vp, in Countries as you go.
Will you ſup with me, Maſter Gowre?
What fooliſh Maſter taught you theſe manIohn?
Maſter Gower, if they become mee not, hee was a Foole that taught them mee. This is the right Fencing grace (my Lord) tap for tap, and ſo part faire.
Now the Lord lighten thee, thou art a great Foole.
Truſt me, I am exceeding weary.
Is it come to that? I had thought wearines durſt not haue attach'd one of ſo high blood.
It doth me: though it diſcolours the complexion of my Greatneſſe to acknowledge it. Doth it not ſhew vildely in me, to deſire ſmall Beere?
Why, a Prince ſhould not be ſo looſely ſtudied, as to remember ſo weake a Compoſition.
Belike then, my Appetite was not Princely gotu haſt? (Viz. theſe, and thoſe that were thy peach-colour'd ones:) Or to beare the Inuentorie of thy ſhirts, as one for ſuperfluity, and one other, for vſe. But that the Tennis-Court-keeper knowes better then I, for it is a low ebbe of Linnen with thee, when thou kept'ſt not Racket there, as thou haſt not done a great while, be
How ill it followes, after you haue labour'd ſo hard, you ſhould talke ſo idlely? Tell me how many good yong Princes would do ſo, their Fathers lying ſo ſicke, as yours is?
Shall I tell thee one thing, Pointz?
Yes: and let it be an excellent good thing.
It ſhall ſerue among wittes of no higher breed
Go to: I ſtand the puſh of your one thing, that you'l tell.
Why, I tell thee, it is not meer, that I ſhould be ſad now my Father is ſicke: albeit I could tell to thee (as to one it pleaſes me, for fault of a better, to call my friend) I could be ſad and ſad indeed too.
Very hardly vpon ſuch a ſubiect.
Thou think'ſt me as farre in the Diuels Booke, as thou, and Falſtaffe, for obduracie and perſiſtencie. Let the end try the man. But I tell thee, my hart bleeds inward
The reaſon?
What would'ſt thou think of me, if I ſhold weep?
I would thinke thee a moſt Princely hypocrite.
It would be euery mans thought: and thou art a bleſſed Fellow, to thinke as euery man thinkes: neuer a mans thought in the world, keepes the Rode-way better then thine: euery man would thinke me an Hypocrite in
Why, becauſe you haue beene ſo lewde, and ſo much ingraffed to Falſtaffe.
And to thee.
Nay, I am well ſpoken of, I can heare it with mine owne eares: the worſt that they can ſay of me is, that I am a ſecond Brother, and that I am a proper Fellowe of my hands: and thoſe two things I confeſſe I canot helpe. Looke, looke, here comes Bardolfe.
And the Boy that I gaue Falſtaffe, he had him from me Chriſtian, and ſee if the fat villain haue not trans
Saue your Grace.
And yours, moſt Noble Bardolfe.
Come you pernitious Aſſe, you baſhfull Foole, muſt you be bluſhing? Wherefore bluſh you now? what a Maidenly man at Armes are you become? Is it ſuch a matter to get a Pottle-pots Maiden-head?
He call'd me euen now (my Lord) through a red Lattice, and I could diſcerne no part of his face from the
Hath not the boy profited?
Away, you horſon vpright Rabbet, away.
Away, you raſcally Altheas dreame, away.
Inſtruct vs Boy: what dreame, Boy?
Marry (my Lord) Althea dream'd, ſhe was de
A Crownes-worth of good Interpretation: There it is, Boy.
O that this good Bloſſome could bee kept from Cankers: Well, there is ſix pence to preſerue thee.
If you do not make him be hang'd among you, the gallowes ſhall be wrong'd.
And how doth thy Maſter, Bardolph?
Well, my good Lord: he heard of your Graces comming to Towne. There's a Letter for you.
Deliuer'd with good reſpect: And how doth the Martlemas, your Maſter?
In bodily health Sir.
Marry, the immortall part needes a Phyſitian: but that moues not him: though that bee ſicke, it dyes not.
I do allow this Wen to bee as familiar with me, as my dogge: and he holds his place, for looke you he writes.
Iohn Falſtaffe Knight: (Euery man muſt know that, as oft as hee hath occaſion to name himſelfe:) Euen like thoſe that are kinne to the King, for they neuer pricke their finger, but they ſay, there is ſom of the kings blood ſpilt. How comes that (ſayes he) that takes vpon him not to conceiue? the anſwer is as ready as a borrow
Nay, they will be kin to vs, but they wil fetch it from Iaphet. But to the Letter: —Sir Iohn Falſtaffe, Knight, to the Sonne of the King, neereſt his Father, Harrie Prince of Wales, greeting.
Why this is a Certificate.
Sure he meanes breuity in breath: ſhort-winded. I commend me to thee, I commend thee, and I leaue thee. Bee not too familiar with Pointz, for hee miſuſes thy Fauours ſo much, that he ſweares thou art to marrie his Siſter Nell. Repent at idle times as thou mayſt, and ſo farewell.
Thine, by yea and no: which is as much as to ſay, as thou vſeſt him. Iacke Falſtaffe with my Familiars: Iohn with my Brothers and Siſter: & Sir Iohn, with all Europe.
My Lord, I will ſteepe this Letter in Sack, and make him eate it.
May the Wench haue no worſe Fortune. But I neuer ſaid ſo.
Well, thus we play the Fooles with the time & the ſpirits of the wiſe, ſit in the clouds, and mocke vs: Is your Maſter heere in London?
Yes my Lord.
Where ſuppes he? Doth the old Bore, feede in the old Franke?
At the old place my Lord, in Eaſt-cheape.
What Company?
Epheſians my Lord, of the old Church.
Sup any women with him?
None my Lord, but old Miſtris Quickly, and M. Doll Teare-ſheet.
What Pagan may that be?
A proper Gentlewoman, Sir, and a Kinſwoman of my Maſters.
I am your ſhadow, my Lord, Ile follow you.
I haue no tongue, ſir.
And for mine Sir, I will gouerne it.
I warrant you, as common as the way betweene S. Albans, and London.
How might we ſee Falſtaffe beſtow himſelfe to night, in his true colours, and not our ſelues be ſeene?
Put on two Leather Ierkins, and Aprons, and waite vpon him at his Table, like Drawers.
From a God, to a Bull? A heauie declenſion: It was Ioues caſe. From a Prince, to a Prentice, a low tranſNed.
What haſt thou brought there? Apple-Iohns? Thou know'ſt Sir Iohn cannot endure an Apple-Iohn.
Thou ſay'ſt true: the Prince once ſet a Diſh of Apple-Iohns before him, and told him there were fiue more Sir Iohns: and, putting off his Hat, ſaid, I will now take my leaue of theſe ſixe drie, round, old-wither'd Knights. It anger'd him to the heart: but hee hath for
Why then couer, and ſet them downe: and ſee if thou canſt finde out Sneakes Noyſe; Miſtris Teare-ſheet would faine haue ſome Muſique.
Sirrha, heere will be the Prince, and Maſter Points, anon: and they will put on two of our Ierkins, and Aprons, and Sir Iohn muſt not know of it: Bardolph hath brought word.
Then here will be old Vtis: it will be an ex
Ile ſee if I can finde out Sneake.
Sweet-heart, me thinkes now you are in an ex
Better then I was: Hem.
Why that was well ſaid: A good heart's worth Gold. Looke, here comes Sir Iohn.
When Arthur firſt in Court—(emptie the Iordan) and was a worthy King: How now Miſtris Dol?
Sick of a Calme: yea, good-ſooth.
So is all her Sect: if they be once in a Calme, they are ſick.
You muddie Raſcall, is that all the comfort you giue me?
You make fat Raſcalls, Miſtris Dol.
I make them? Gluttonie and Diſeaſes make them, I make them not.
If the Cooke make the Gluttonie, you helpe to make the Diſeaſes (Dol) we catch of you (Dol) we catch of you: Grant that my poore Vertue, grant that.
I marry, our Chaynes, and our Iewels.
Your Brooches, Pearles, and Owches: For to ſerue brauely, is to come halting off: you know, to come off the Breach, with his Pike bent brauely, and to Surge
Why this is the olde faſhion: you two neuer meete, but you fall to ſome diſcord: you are both (in good troth) as Rheumatike as two drie Toſtes, you can
Can a weake emptie Veſſell beare ſuch a huge full Hogs-head? There's a whole Marchants Venture of Burdeux-Stuffe in him: you haue not ſeene a Hulke better ſtufft in the Hold. Come, Ile be friends with thee Iacke: Thou art going to the Warres, and whether I ſhall euer ſee thee againe, or no, there is no body cares.
Sir, Ancient Pistoll is below, and would ſpeake with you.
Hang him, ſwaggering Raſcall, let him not come hither: it is the foule-mouth'dſt Rogue in Eng
If hee ſwagger, let him not come here: I muſt liue amongſt my Neighbors, Ile no Swaggerers: I am in good name, and fame, with the very beſt: ſhut the doore, there comes no Swaggerers heere: I haue not liu'd all this while, to haue ſwaggering now: ſhut the doore, I pray you.
Do'ſt thou heare, Hoſteſſe?
'Pray you pacifie your ſelfe (Sir Iohn) there comes no Swaggerers heere.
Do'ſt thou heare? it is mine Ancient.
Tilly-fally (Sir Iohn) neuer tell me, your ancient Swaggerer comes not in my doores. I was before Maſter Tiſick the Deputie, the other day: and as hee ſaid to me, it was no longer agoe then Wedneſday laſt: Neighbour Quickly (ſayes hee;) Maſter Dombe, our Miniſter, was by then: Neighbour Quickly (ſayes hee) receiue thoſe that are Ciuill; for (ſayth hee) you are in an ill Name: now hee ſaid ſo, I can tell whereupon: for (ſayes hee) you are an honeſt Woman, and well thought on; therefore take heede what Gueſts you receiue: Receiue (ſayes hee) no ſwaggering Companions. There comes none heere. You would bleſſe you to heare what hee ſaid. No, Ile no Swaggerers.
Hee's no Swaggerer (Hoſteſſe:) a tame Cheater, hee: you may ſtroake him as gently, as a Puppie Grey
Cheater, call you him? I will barre no honeſt man my houſe, nor no Cheater: but I doe not loue ſwag
So you doe, Hoſteſſe.
Doe I? yea, in very truth doe I, if it were an Aſ
'Saue you, Sir Iohn.
Welcome Ancient Piſtol. Here (Piſtol) I charge you with a Cup of Sacke: doe you diſcharge vpon mine Hoſteſſe.
I will diſcharge vpon her (Sir Iohn) with two Bullets.
She is Piſtoll-proofe (Sir) you ſhall hardly of
Come, Ile drinke no Proofes, nor no Bullets: I will drinke no more then will doe me good, for no mans pleaſure, I.
Then to you (Miſtris Dorothie) I will charge you.
Charge me? I ſcorne you (ſcuruie Companion) what? you poore, baſe, raſcally, cheating, lacke-Linnen-Mate: away you mouldie Rogue, away; I am meat for your Maſter.
I know you, Miſtris Dorothie.
Away you Cut-purſe Raſcall, you filthy Bung, away: By this Wine, Ile thruſt my Knife in your mouldie Chappes, if you play the ſawcie Cuttle with me. Away you Bottle-Ale Raſcall, you Basket-hilt ſtale Iugler, you. Since when, I pray you, Sir? what, with two Points on your ſhoulder? much.
I will murther your Ruffe, for this.
No, good Captaine Piſtol: not heere, ſweete Captaine.
Captaine? thou abhominable damn'd Cheater, art thou not aſham'd to be call'd Captaine? If Captaines were of my minde, they would trunchion you out, for ta
'Pray thee goe downe, good Ancient.
Hearke thee hither, Miſtris Dol.
Not I: I tell thee what, Corporall Bardolph, I could teare her: Ile be reueng'd on her.
'Pray thee goe downe.
Ile ſee her damn'd firſt: to Pluto's damn'd Lake, to the Infernall Deepe, where Erebus and Tortures vilde alſo. Hold Hooke and Line, ſay I: Downe: downe Dogges, downe Fates: haue wee not Hiren here?
Good Captaine Peeſel be quiet, it is very late: I beſeeke you now, aggrauate your Choler.
Theſe be good Humors indeede. Shall Pack-Horſes, and hollow-pamper'd Iades of Aſia, which canCaeſar, and with Caniballs, and Troian Greekes? nay, rather damne them with King Cerberus, and let the Welkin roare: ſhall wee fall foule for Toyes?
By my troth Captaine, theſe are very bitter words.
Be gone, good Ancient: this will grow to a Brawle anon.
Die men, like Dogges; giue Crownes like Pinnes: Haue we not Hiren here?
On my word (Captaine) there's none ſuch here. What the good-yere, doe you thinke I would denye her? I pray be quiet.
Then feed, and be fat (my faire Calipolis.) Come, giue me ſome Sack, Si fortune me tormente, ſperato me contente. Feare wee broad-ſides? No, let the Fiend giue fire: Giue me ſome Sack: and Sweet-heart lye thou there: Come wee to full Points here, and are
Pistol, I would be quiet.
Sweet Knight, I kiſſe thy Neaffe: what? wee haue ſeene the ſeuen Starres.
Thruſt him downe ſtayres, I cannot endure ſuch a Fuſtian Raſcall.
Thruſt him downe ſtayres? know we not Gallo
Quoit him downe (Bardolph) like a ſhoue-groat ſhilling: nay, if hee doe nothing but ſpeake nothing, hee ſhall be nothing here.
Come, get you downe ſtayres.
What? ſhall wee haue Inciſion? ſhall wee emAtropos, I ſay.
Here's good ſtuffe toward.
Giue me my Rapier, Boy.
I prethee Iack, I prethee doe not draw.
Get you downe ſtayres.
Here's a goodly tumult: Ile forſweare keeping houſe, before Ile be in theſe tirrits, and frights. So: Mur
I prethee Iack be quiet, the Raſcall is gone: ah, you whorſon little valiant Villaine, you.
Are you not hurt i' th' Groyne? me thought hee made a ſhrewd Thruſt at your Belly.
Haue you turn'd him out of doores?
Yes Sir: the Raſcall's drunke: you haue hurt him (Sir) in the ſhoulder.
A Raſcall to braue me.
Ah, you ſweet little Rogue, you: alas, poore Ape, how thou ſweat'ſt? Come, let me wipe thy Face: Come on, you whorſon Chops: Ah Rogue, I loue thee: Thou
Hector of Troy, worth fiue of Agamemnon, and tenne times better then the nine Worthies: ah Villaine.
A raſcally Slaue, I will toſſe the Rogue in a Blan
The Muſique is come, Sir.
Let them play: play Sirs. Sit on my Knee, Dol. A Raſcall, bragging Slaue: the Rogue fled from me like Quick-ſiluer.
And thou followd'ſt him like a Church: thou whorſon little tydie Bartholmew Bore-pigge, when wilt thou leaue fighting on dayes, and foyning on nights, and begin to patch vp thine old Body for Heauen?
Peace (good Dol) doe not ſpeake like a Deaths-head: doe not bid me remember mine end.
Sirrha, what humor is the Prince of?
A good ſhallow young fellow: hee would haue made a good Pantler, hee would haue chipp'd Bread well.
They ſay Poines hath a good Wit.
Hee a good Wit? hang him Baboone, his Wit is as thicke as Tewksburie Muſtard: there is no more con
Why doth the Prince loue him ſo then?
Becauſe their Legges are both of a bigneſſe: and hee playes at Quoits well and eates Conger and Fennell, and drinkes off Candles ends for Flap-dragons, and rides the wilde-Mare with the Boyes, and iumpes vpon Ioyn'd-ſtooles, and ſweares with a good grace, and weares his Boot very ſmooth, like vnto the Signe of the Legge; and breedes no bate with telling of diſcreete ſtories: and ſuch other Gamboll Faculties hee hath, that ſhew a weake Minde, and an able Body, for the which the Prince admits him; for the Prince himſelfe is ſuch another: the weight of an hayre will turne the Scales betweene their Haber-de-pois.
Would not this Naue of a Wheele haue his Eares cut off?
Let vs beat him before his Whore.
Looke, if the wither'd Elder hath not his Poll claw'd like a Parrot.
Is it not ſtrange, that Deſire ſhould ſo many yeeres out-liue performance?
Kiſſe me Dol.
And looke whether the fierie Trigon, his Man, be not liſping to his Maſters old Tables, his Note-Booke, his Councell-keeper?
Thou do'ſt giue me flatt'ring Buſſes.
Nay truely, I kiſſe thee with a moſt conſtant heart.
I am olde, I am olde.
I loue thee better, then I loue ere a ſcuruie young Boy of them all.
What Stuffe wilt thou haue a Kirtle of? I ſhall receiue Money on Thurſday: thou ſhalt haue a Cappe to morrow. A merrie Song, come: it growes late, wee will to Bed. Thou wilt forget me, when I am gone.
Thou wilt ſet me a weeping, if thou ſay'ſt ſo: proue that euer I dreſſe my ſelfe handſome, till thy re
Some Sack, Francis.
Anon, anon, Sir.
Ha? a Baſtard Sonne of the Kings? And art not thou Poines, his Brother?
Why thou Globe of ſinfull Continents, what a Life do'ſt thou lead?
A better then thou: I am a Gentleman, thou art a Drawer.
Very true, Sir: and I come to draw you out by the Eares.
Oh, the Lord preſerue thy good Grace: Wel
Thou whorſon mad Compound of Maieſtie: by this light Fleſh, and corrupt Blood, thou art welcome.
How? you fat Foole, I ſcorne you.
My Lord, hee will driue you out of your re
You whorſon Candle-myne you, how vildly did you ſpeake of me euen now, before this honeſt, ver
'Bleſſing on your good heart, and ſo ſhee is by my troth.
Didſt thou heare me?
Yes: and you knew me, as you did when you ranne away by Gads-hill: you knew I was at your back, and ſpoke it on purpoſe, to trie my patience.
No, no, no: not ſo: I did not thinke, thou waſt within hearing.
I ſhall driue you then to confeſſe the wilfull abuſe, and then I know how to handle you.
No abuſe (Hall) on mine Honor, no abuſe.
Not to diſprayſe me? and call me Pantler, and Bread-chopper, and I know not what?
No abuſe (Hal.)
No abuſe?
No abuſe (Ned) in the World: honeſt Ned none. I diſprays'd him before the Wicked, that the Wicked might not fall in loue with him: In which doing, I haue done the part of a carefull Friend, and a true Subiect, and thy Father is to giue me thankes for it. No abuſe (Hal:) none (Ned) none; no Boyes, none.
See now whether pure Feare, and entire CowBardolph (whoſe Zeale burnes in his Noſe) of the Wicked?
Anſwere thou dead Elme, anſwere.
The Fiend hath prickt downe Bardolph irrecoueLucifers Priuy-Kitchin, where hee doth nothing but roſt Mault-Wormes: for the Boy, there is a good Angell about him, but the Deuill out
For the Women?
For one of them, ſhee is in Hell alreadie, and burnes poore Soules: for the other, I owe her Mo
No, I warrant you.
No, I thinke thou art not: I thinke thou art quit for that. Marry, there is another Indictment vpon thee, for ſuffering fleſh to bee eaten in thy houſe, contrary to the Law, for the which I thinke thou wilt howle.
All Victuallers doe ſo: What is a Ioynt of Mutton, or two, in a whole Lent?
You, Gentlewoman.
What ſayes your Grace?
His Grace ſayes that, which his fleſh rebells againſt.
Who knocks ſo lowd at doore? Looke to the doore there, Francis?
Peto, how now? what newes?
Now comes in the ſweeteſt Morſell of the night, and wee muſt hence, and leaue it vnpickt. More knocking at the doore? How now? what's the mat
Pay the Muſitians, Sirrha: farewell Hoſteſſe, farewell Dol. You ſee (my good Wenches) how men of Merit are ſought after: the vndeſeruer may ſleepe, when the man of Action is call'd on. Farewell good Wenches: if I be not ſent away poſte, I will ſee you againe, ere I goe.
I cannot ſpeake: if my heart bee not readie to burſt— Well (ſweete Iacke) haue a care of thy ſelfe.
Farewell, farewell.
Well, fare thee well: I haue knowne thee theſe twentie nine yeeres, come Peſcod-time: but an honeſter, and truer-hearted man— Well, fare thee well.
Miſtris Teare-ſheet.
What's the matter?
Bid Miſtris Teare-ſheet come to my Maſter.
Oh runne Dol, runne: runne, good Dol.
Many good-morrowes to your Maieſtie.
Is it good-morrow, Lords?
'Tis One a Clock, and paſt.
We haue (my Liege.)
Come-on, come-on, come-on: giue mee your Hand, Sir; giue mee your Hand, Sir: an early ſtirrer, by the Rood. And how doth my good Couſin Silence?
Good-morrow, good Couſin Shallow.
And how doth my Couſin, your Bed-fellow? and your faireſt Daughter, and mine, my God-Daughter Ellen?
Alas, a blacke Ouzell (Couſin Shallow.)
By yea and nay, Sir, I dare ſay my Couſin William is become a good Scholler? hee is at Oxford ſtill, is hee not?
Indeede Sir, to my coſt.
Hee muſt then to the Innes of Court ſhortly: I was once of Clements Inne; where (I thinke) they will talke of mad Shallow yet.
You were call'd luſtie Shallow then (Couſin.)
I was call'd any thing: and I would haue done any thing indeede too, and roundly too. There was I, and little Iohn Doit of Staffordſhire, and blacke George Bare, and Francis Pick-bone, and Will Squele a Cot-ſal-man, you had not foure ſuch Swindge-bucklers in all the Innes of Court againe: And I may ſay to you, wee knew where the Bona-Roba's were, and had the beſt of them all at commandement. Then was Iacke Falſtaffe (now Sir Iohn) a Boy, and Page to Thomas Mowbray, Duke of Nor
This Sir Iohn (Couſin) that comes hither anon a
The ſame Sir Iohn, the very ſame: I ſaw him breake Scoggan's Head at the Court-Gate, when hee was a Crack, not thus high: and the very ſame day did I fight with one Sampſon Stock-fiſh, a Fruiterer, behinde Greyes-Inne. Oh the mad dayes that I haue ſpent! and to ſee how many of mine olde Acquaintance are dead?
Wee ſhall all follow (Couſin.)
Certaine: 'tis certaine: very ſure, very ſure: Death is certaine to all, all ſhall dye. How a good Yoke of Bullocks at Stamford Fayre?
Truly Couſin, I was not there.
Death is certaine. Is old Double of your Towne liuing yet?
Dead, Sir.
Dead? See, ſee: hee drew a good Bow: and dead? hee ſhot a fine ſhoote. Iohn of Gaunt loued him well, and betted much Money on his head. Dead? hee would haue clapt in the Clowt at Twelue-ſcore, and carryed you a fore-hand Shaft at foureteene, and foure
Thereafter as they be: a ſcore of good Ewes may be worth tenne pounds.
And is olde Double dead?
Heere come two of Sir Iohn Falſtaffes Men (as I thinke.)
Good-morrow, honeſt Gentlemen.
I beſeech you, which is Iuſtice Shallow?
I am Robert Shallow (Sir) a poore Eſquire of this Countie, and one of the Kings Iuſtices of the Peace: What is your good pleaſure with me?
My Captaine (Sir) commends him to you: my Captaine, Sir Iohn Falſtaffe: a tall Gentleman, and a moſt gallant Leader.
Hee greetes me well: (Sir) I knew him a good Back-Sword-man. How doth the good Knight? may I aske, how my Lady his Wife doth?
Sir, pardon: a Souldier is better accommoda
It is well ſaid, Sir; and it is well ſaid, indeede, too: Better accommodated? it is good, yea indeede is it: good phraſes are ſurely, and euery where very comAccommodo: very good, a good Phraſe.
Pardon, Sir, I haue heard the word. Phraſe call you it? by this Day, I know not the Phraſe: but I will maintaine the Word with my Sword, to bee a Souldier-like Word, and a Word of exceeding good Command. Accommodated: that is, when a man is (as they ſay) accommodated: or, when a man is, being
It is very iuſt: Looke, heere comes good Sir Iohn. Giue me your hand, giue me your Worſhips good hand: Truſt me, you looke well: and beare your yeares very well. Welcome, good Sir Iohn.
I am glad to ſee you well, good M. Robert Shallow: Maſter
No ſir Iohn, it is my Coſin Silence: in Commiſſi
Good M. Silence, it well befits you ſhould be of the peace.
Your good Worſhip is welcome.
Fye, this is hot weather (Gentlemen) haue you prouided me heere halfe a dozen of ſufficient men?
Marry haue we ſir: Will you ſit?
Let me ſee them, I beſeech you.
Where's the Roll? Where's the Roll? Where's the Roll? Let me ſee, let me ſee, let me ſee: ſo, ſo, ſo, ſo: yea marry Sir. Raphe Mouldie: let them appeare as I call: let them do ſo, let them do ſo: Let mee ſee, Where is Mouldie?
Heere, if it pleaſe you.
What thinke you (Sir Iohn) a good limb'd fel
Is thy name Mouldie?
Yea, if it pleaſe you.
'Tis the more time thou wert vs'd.
Ha, ha, ha, moſt excellent. Things that are moulIohn, very well ſaid.
Pricke him.
I was prickt well enough before, if you could haue let me alone: my old Dame will be vndone now, for one to doe her Husbandry, and her Drudgery; you need not to haue prickt me, there are other men fitter to goe out, then I.
Go too: peace Mouldie, you ſhall goe. Mouldie, it is time you were ſpent.
Spent?
Peace, fellow, peace; ſtand aſide: Know you where you are? For the other ſir Iohn: Let me ſee: Simon Shadow.
I marry, let me haue him to ſit vnder: he's like to be a cold ſouldier.
Where's Shadow?
Heere ſir.
Shadow, whoſe ſonne art thou?
My Mothers ſonne, Sir.
Thy Mothers ſonne: like enough, and thy Fa
Do you like him, ſir Iohn?
Shadow will ſerue for Summer: pricke him: For wee haue a number of ſhadowes to fill vppe the Muſter-Booke.
Thomas Wart?
Where's he?
Heere ſir.
Is thy name Wart?
Yea ſir.
Thou art a very ragged Wart.
It were ſuperfluous: for his apparrel is built vp
Ha, ha, ha, you can do it ſir: you can doe it: I commend you well.
Heere ſir.
What Trade art thou Feeble?
A Womans Taylor ſir.
Shall I pricke him, ſir?
You may: But if he had beene a mans Taylor, he would haue prick'd you. Wilt thou make as many holes in an enemies Bat
I will doe my good will ſir, you can haue no more.
Well ſaid, good Womans Tailour: Well ſayde Couragious Feeble: thou wilt bee as valiant as the wrathShallow, deepe Maiſter Shallow.
I would Wart might haue gone ſir.
I would thou wert a mans Tailor, that yu might'ſt mend him, and make him fit to goe. I cannot put him to a priuate ſouldier, that is the Leader of ſo many thouFeeble.
It ſhall ſuffice.
I am bound to thee, reuerend Feeble. Who is the next?
Peter Bulcalfe of the Greene.
Yea marry, let vs ſee Bulcalfe.
Heere ſir.
Truſt me, a likely Fellow. Come, pricke me Bulcalfe till he roare againe.
Oh, good my Lord Captaine.
What? do'ſt thou roare before th' art prickt.
Oh ſir, I am a diſeaſed man.
What diſeaſe haſt thou?
A whorſon cold ſir, a cough ſir, which I caught with Ringing in the Kings affayres, vpon his Coronation day, ſir.
Come, thou ſhalt go to the Warres in a Gowne: we will haue away thy Cold, and I will take ſuch order, that thy friends ſhall ring for thee. Is heere all?
There is two more called then your number: you muſt haue but foure heere ſir, and ſo I pray you go in with me to dinner.
Come, I will goe drinke with you, but I cannot tarry dinner. I am glad to ſee you in good troth, Maſter Shallow.
O ſir Iohn, doe you remember ſince wee lay all night in the Winde-mill, in S Georges Field.
No more of that good Maſter Shallow: No more of that.
Ha? it was a merry night. And is Iane Night-worke aliue?
She liues, M. Shallow.
She neuer could away with me.
Neuer, neuer: ſhe would alwayes ſay ſhee could not abide M. Shallow.
I could anger her to the heart: ſhee was then a Bona-Roba. Doth ſhe hold her owne well.
Old, old, M. Shallow.
Nay, ſhe muſt be old, ſhe cannot chooſe but be
Robin Night-worke, by old Night-worke, before I came to Clements Inne.
That's fiftie fiue yeeres agoe.
Hah, Couſin Silence, that thou hadſt ſeene that, that this Knight and I haue ſeene: hah, Sir Iohn, ſaid I well?
Wee haue heard the Chymes at mid-night, MaShallow.
That wee haue, that wee haue; in faith, Sir Iohn, wee haue: our watch-word was, Hem-Boyes. Come, let's to Dinner; come, let's to Dinner: Oh the dayes that wee haue ſeene. Come, come.
Good Maſter Corporate Bardolph, ſtand my friend, and heere is foure Harry tenne ſhillings in French Crownes for you: in very truth, ſir, I had as lief be hang'd ſir, as goe: and yet, for mine owne part, ſir, I do not care; but rather, becauſe I am vnwilling, and for mine owne part, haue a deſire to ſtay with my friends: elſe, ſir, I did not care, for mine owne part, ſo much.
Go-too: ſtand aſide.
And good Maſter Corporall Captaine, for my old Dames ſake, ſtand my friend: ſhee hath no body to doe any thing about her, when I am gone: and ſhe is old, and cannot helpe her ſelfe: you ſhall haue fortie, ſir.
Go-too: ſtand aſide.
I care not, a man can die but once: wee owe a death. I will neuer beare a baſe minde: if it be my deſti
Well ſaid, thou art a good fellow.
Nay, I will beare no baſe minde.
Come ſir, which men ſhall I haue?
Foure of which you pleaſe.
Sir, a word with you: I haue three pound, to free Mouldie and Bull-calfe.
Go-too: well.
Come, ſir Iohn, which foure will you haue?
Doe you chuſe for me.
Marry then, Mouldie, Bull-calfe, Feeble, and Shadow.
Mouldie, and Bull-calfe: for you Mouldie, ſtay at home, till you are paſt ſeruice: and for your part, Bull-calfe, grow till you come vnto it: I will none of you.
Sir Iohn, Sir Iohn, doe not your ſelfe wrong, they are your likelyeſt men, and I would haue you ſeru'd with the beſt.
Will you tell me (Maſter Shallow) how to chuſe a man? Care I for the Limbe, the Thewes, the ſtature, bulke, and bigge aſſemblance of a man? giue mee the ſpirit (Maſter Shallow.) Where's Wart? you ſee what a ragged appearance it is: hee ſhall charge you, and diſcharge you, with the motion of a Pewterers HamShadow, giue me this man: hee preſents no marke to the Enemie, the foe-man may with as great ayme leuell at the edge of a Pen-knife: and for a Retrait, how ſwiftly will this Feeble, the Womans Taylor, runne off. O, giue me the ſpare men, and ſpare me the great ones. Put me a Calyuer into Warts hand, Bardolph.
Hold Wart, Trauerſe: thus, thus, thus.
Come, manage me your Calyuer: ſoWart, thou art a good Scab: hold, there is a Teſter for thee.
Hee is not his Crafts-maſter, hee doth not doe it right. I remember at Mile-end-Greene, when I lay at Clements Inne, I was then Sir Dagonet in Arthurs Show: there was a little quiuer fellow, and hee would manage you his Peece thus: and hee would about, and about, and come you in, and come you in: Rah, tah, tah, would hee ſay, Bownce would hee ſay, and away againe would hee goe, and againe would he come: I ſhall neuer ſee ſuch a fellow.
Theſe fellowes will doe well, Maſter Shallow Farewell Maſter Silence, I will not vſe many wordes with you: fare you well, Gentlemen both: I thanke you: I muſt a dozen mile to night. Bardolph, giue the Souldiers Coates.
Sir Iohn, Heauen bleſſe you, and proſper your Affaires, and ſend vs Peace. As you returne, viſit my houſe. Let our old acquaintance be renewed: per
I would you would, Maſter Shallow.
Go-too: I haue ſpoke at a word. Fare you well.
Fare you well, gentle Gentlemen. On Bardolph, leade the men away. As I returne, I will fetch off theſe Iuſtices: I doe ſee the bottome of Iuſtice
What is this Forreſt call'd?
'Tis Gualtree Forreſt, and't ſhall pleaſe your Grace.
Wee haue ſent forth alreadie.
Now? what newes?
What well-appointed Leader fronts vs here?
I thinke it is my Lord of Weſtmerland.
Well, by my will, wee ſhall admit no Parley.
My Lord, wee will doe ſo.
Your Grace of Yorke, in heauen's name then forward.
Before, and greet his Grace (my Lord) we come.
I take your Princely word, for theſe redreſſes.
To you
I doe not doubt you.
Beleeue me, I am paſſing light in ſpirit.
So much the worſe, if your owne Rule be true.
The word of Peace is render'd: hearke how they ſhowt.
This had been chearefull, after Victorie.
They know their duties.
Is this proceeding iuſt, and honorable?
Is your Aſſembly ſo?
Will you thus breake your faith?
What's your Name, Sir? of what Condition are you? and of what place, I pray?
Well then, Colleuile is your Name, a Knight is your Degree, and your Place, the Dale. Colleuile ſhall ſtill be your Name, a Traytor your Degree, and the DunColleuile of the Dale.
Are not you Sir Iohn Falſtaffe?
As good a man as he ſir, who ere I am: doe yee yeelde ſir, or ſhall I ſweate for you? if I doe ſweate, they are the drops of thy Louers, and they weep for thy death, therefore rowze vp Feare and Trembling, and do obſer
I thinke you are Sir Iohn Falſtaffe, & in that thought yeeld me.
I haue a whole Schoole of tongues in this belly of mine, and not a Tongue of them all, ſpeakes anie other word but my name: and I had but a belly of any indiffe
I would bee ſorry (my Lord) but it ſhould bee thus: I neuer knew yet, but rebuke and checke was the reward of Valour. Doe you thinke me a Swallow, an ArIohn Colleuile of the Dale, a moſt furious Knight, and valorous Enemie: But what of that? hee ſaw mee, and yeelded: that I may iuſtly ſay with the hooke-nos'd fellow of Rome, I came, ſaw, and ouer-came.
It was more of his Courteſie, then your deſer
I know not: heere hee is, and heere I yeeld him: and I beſeech your Grace, let it be book'd, with the reſt of this dayes deedes; or I ſweare, I will haue it in a particular Ballad, with mine owne Picture on the top of it (Colleuile kiſſing my foot:) To the which courſe, if I be enforc'd, if you do not all ſhew like gilt two-pences to me; and I, in the cleare Skie of Fame, o're-ſhine you as much as the Full Moone doth the Cynders of the Ele
Thine's too heauie to mount.
Let it thine then.
Thine's too thick to ſhine.
Let it doe ſomething (my good Lord) that may doe me good, and call it what you will.
Is thy Name Colleuile?
It is (my Lord.)
A famous Rebell art thou, Colleuile.
And a famous true Subiect tooke him.
I know not how they ſold themſelues, but thou like a kinde fellow, gau'ſt thy ſelfe away; and I thanke thee, for thee.
Haue you left purſuit?
Retreat is made, and Execution ſtay'd.
My Lord, I beſeech you, giue me leaue to goe through Glouceſterſhire: and when you come to Court, ſtand my good Lord, 'pray, in your good report.
I would you had but the wit: 'twere better then your Dukedome. Good faith, this ſame young ſoHarry is valiant: for the cold blood hee did naturally inherite of his Father, hee hath, like leane, ſtirrill, and bare Land, manured, husbanded, and tyll'd, with excellent endeauour of drinking good, and good ſtore of fertile Sherris, that hee is become very hot, and valiant. If I had a thouſand Sonnes, the firſt Principle I would teach them, ſhould be to forſweare thinne Pota
How now Bardolph?
The Armie is diſcharged all, and gone.
Let them goe: Ile through Glouceſterſhire, and there will I viſit Maſter Robert Shallow, Eſquire: I haue him alreadie tempering betweene my finger and my thombe, and ſhortly will I ſeale with him. Come away.
Humphrey (my Sonne of Glouceſter) where is the Prince, your Brother?
I thinke hee's gone to hunt (my Lord) at Wind
And how accompanied?
I doe not know (my Lord.)
Is not his Brother, Thomas of Clarence, with him?
No (my good Lord) hee is in preſence heere.
What would my Lord, and Father?
I ſhall obſerue him with all care, and loue.
Why art thou not at Windſor with him (Thomas?)
Hee is not there to day: hee dines in Lon
And how accompanyed? Canſt thou tell that?
With Pointz, and other his continuall fol
Comfort your Maieſtie.
Oh, my Royall Father.
My Soueraigne Lord, cheare vp your ſelfe, looke vp.
Speake lower (Princes) for the King reco
This Apoplexie will (certaine) be his end.
Ca
Set me the Crowne vpon my Pillow here.
His eye is hollow, and hee changes much.
Leſſe noyſe, leſſe noyſe.
Who ſaw the Duke of Clarence?
I am here (Brother) full of heauineſſe.
How now? Raine within doores, and none abroad? How doth the King?
Exceeding ill.
Hee alter'd much, vpon the hearing it.
Let vs with-draw into the other Roome.
Wil't pleaſe your Grace to goe along with vs?
Warwicke, Glouceſter, Clarence.
Doth the King call?
What would your Maieſtie? how fares your Grace?
Why did you leaue me here alone (my Lords?)
The Prince of Wales? where is hee? let mee ſee him.
This doore is open, hee is gone this way.
Hee came not through the Chamber where wee ſtayd.
Where is the Crowne? who tooke it from my Pillow?
When wee with-drew (my Liege) wee left it heere.
I neuer thought to heare you ſpeake againe.
My Lord of Warwicke.
Doth any name particular, belong
'Tis call'd Ieruſalem, my Noble Lord.
You muſt excuſe me, M. Robert Shallow.
I will not excuſe you: you ſhall not be excuſed.
Excuſes ſhall not be admitted: there is no excuſe ſhall ſerue: you ſhall not be excus'd.
Heere ſir.
Dauy, Dauy, Dauy, let me ſee (Dauy) let me ſee: William Cooke, bid him come hither. Sir Iohn, you ſhal not be excus'd.
Marry ſir, thus: thoſe Precepts cannot bee ſeru'd: and againe ſir, ſhall we ſowe the head-land with Wheate?
With red Wheate Dauy. But for William Cook: are there no yong Pigeons?
Let it be caſt, and payde: Sir Iohn, you ſhall not be excus'd.
Sir, a new linke to the Bucket muſt needes bee had: And Sir, doe you meane to ſtoppe any of Williams Wages, about the Sacke he loſt the other day, at Hinckley Fayre?
He ſhall anſwer it:
Some Pigeons Dauy, a couple of ſhort-legg'd Hennes: a ioynt of Mutton and any pretty little tine Kickſhawes, tell William Cooke.
Doth the man of Warre, ſtay all night ſir?
Yes Dauy:
I will vſe him well. A Friend i' th Court, is better then a penny in purſe. Vſe his men well Dauy, for they are ar
No worſe then they are bitten. ſir: For, they haue maruellous fowle linnen.
Well conceited Dauy: about thy Buſineſſe, Dauy.
I beſeech you ſir,
To countenance William Ʋiſor of Woncot, againſt
There are many Complaints Dauy, againſt that
Ʋiſor, that
I graunt your Worſhip, that he is a knaue Sir:) But yet heauen forbid Sir, but a Knaue ſhould haue ſome Countenance, at his Friends requeſt. An honeſt man ſir, is able to ſpeake for himſelfe, when a Knaue is not. I haue ſeru'd your Worſhippe truely ſir, theſe eight yeares: and if I cannot once or twice in a Quarter beare out a knaue, againſt an honeſt man, I haue but a very litle credite with your Worſhippe. The Knaue is mine honeſt Friend Sir, therefore I beſeech your Worſhip, let him bee Counte
I am glad to ſee your Worſhip.
Ile follow you, good Maſter Robert Shallow. Bardolfe, looke to our Horſſes. If I were ſaw'de into Quantities, I ſhould make foure dozen of ſuch bearded Hermites ſtaues, as Maſter Shallow. It is a wonderfull thing to ſee the ſemblable Cohetence of his mens ſpirits, and his: They, by obſeruing of him, do beare themſelues like fooliſh Iuſtices: Hee, by conuerſing with them, is turn'd into a Iuſtice-like Seruingman. Their ſpirits are ſo married in Coniunction, with the participation of SoShallow, I would humour his men, with the imputation of beeing neere their Mayſter. If to his Men, I would currie with Maiſter Shallow, that no man could better command his Seruants. It is certaine, that either wiſe bearing, or igShallow, to keepe Prince Harry in continuall Laughter, the wearing out of ſixe Faſhions (which is foure Tearmes) or two AcInteruallums. O it is much that a Lye (with a flight Oath) and a ieſt (with
Sir Iohn.
I come Maſter Shallow, I come Maſter Shallow.
How now, my Lord Chiefe Iuſtice, whe
How doth the King?
I hope, not dead.
Indeed I thinke the yong King loues you not.
Alas, I feare, all will be ouer-turn'd.
Good morrow Coſin Warwick, good morrow.
Cla. Good morrow, Coſin.
We meet, like men, that had forgot to ſpeake.
Well: Peace be with him, that hath made vs heauy
Peace be with vs, leaſt we be heauier.
Heere comes the Prince.
Good morrow: and heauen ſaue your Maieſty
We hope no other from your Maieſty.
Nay, you ſhall ſee mine Orchard: where, in an Arbor we will eate a laſt yeares Pippin of my owne grafSilence, and then to bed.
You haue heere a goodly dwelling, and a rich.
Barren, barren, barren: Beggers all, beggers all Sir Iohn: Marry, good ayre. Spread Dauy, ſpread Dauie: Well ſaid Dauie.
This Dauie ſerues you for good vſes: he is your Seruingman, and your Husband.
A good Varlet, a good Varlet, a very good VarIohn: I haue drunke too much Sacke at Supper. A good Varlet. Now ſit downe, now ſit downe: Come Coſin.
Ah ſirra (quoth-a) we ſhall doe nothing but eate, and make good cheere, and praiſe heauen for the merrie yeere: when fleſh is cheape, and Females deere, and luſtie Lads rome heere, and there: ſo merrily, and euer among ſo merrily.
There's a merry heart, good M. Silence, Ile giue you a health for that anon.
Good M. Bardolfe: ſome wine, Dauie.
Sweet ſir, ſit: Ile be with you anon: moſt ſweete ſir, ſit. Maſter Page, good M. Page, ſit: Proface. What you want in meate, wee'l haue in drinke: but you beare, the heart's all.
Be merry M. Bardolfe, and my little Souldiour there, be merry.
I did not thinke M. Silence had bin a man of this Mettle.
Who I? I haue beene merry twice and once, ere now.
There is a diſh of Lether-coats for you.
Dauie.
Your Worſhip: Ile be with you ſtraight. A cup of Wine, ſir?
A Cup of Wine, that's briske and fine, & drinke vnto the Leman mine: and a merry heart liues long-a.
Well ſaid, M. Silence.
If we ſhall be merry, now comes in the ſweete of the night.
Health, and long life to you, M. Silence.
Fill the Cuppe, and let it come. Ile pledge you a mile to the bottome.
Honeſt Bardolfe, welcome: If thou want'ſt any thing, and wilt not call, beſhrew thy heart. Welcome my little tyne theefe, and welcome indeed too: Ile drinke to M. Bardolfe, and to all the Cauileroes about London.
I hope to ſee London, once ere I die.
If I might ſee you there, Dauie.
You'l cracke a quart together? Ha, will you not M. Bardolfe?
Yes Sir, in a pottle pot.
I thanke thee: the knaue will ſticke by thee, I can aſſure thee that. He will not out, he is true bred.
And Ile ſticke by him, ſir.
Why now you haue done me right.
Do me right, and dub me Knight, Samingo. Is't not ſo?
'Tis ſo.
Is't ſo? Why then ſay an old man can do ſomwhat.
If it pleaſe your Worſhippe, there's one Piſtoll come from the Court with newes.
Sir Iohn, 'ſaue you ſir.
What winde blew you hither, Piſtoll?
Not the ill winde which blowes none to good, ſweet Knight: Thou art now one of the greateſt men in the Realme.
Indeed, I thinke he bee, but Goodman Puffe of Barſon.
Puffe? puffe in thy teeth, moſt recreant Coward baſe. Sir Iohn, I am thy Piſtoll, and thy Friend: helter skelter haue I rode to thee, and tydings do I bring, and luckie ioyes, and golden Times, and happie Newes of price.
I prethee now deliuer them, like a man of this World.
And Robin-hood, Scarlet, and Iohn.
Why then Lament therefore.
Giue me pardon, Sir.
If ſir, you come with news from the Court, I take it, there is but two wayes, either to vtter them, or to conceale them. I am Sir, vnder the King, in ſome Authority.
Vnder King Harry.
Harry the Fourth? or Fift?
Harry the Fourth.
What, is the old King dead?
What? I do bring good newes.
Carrie Maſter Silence to bed: Maſter Shallow, my Lord Shallow, be what thou wilt, I am Fortunes Steward. Get on thy Boots, wee I ride all night. Oh ſweet Piſtoll: Away Bardolfe: Come Piſtoll, vtter more to mee: and withall deuiſe ſomething to do thy ſelfe good. Boote, boote Maſter Shallow, I know the young King is ſick for mee. Let vs take any mans Horſfes: The Lawes of Eng
No, thou arrant knaue: I would I might dy, that I might haue thee hang'd: Thou haſt drawne my ſhoulder out of ioynt.
The Conſtables haue deliuer'd her ouer to mee: and ſhee ſhall haue Whipping cheere enough, I warrant her. There hath beene a man or two (lately) kill'd about her.
Nut-hooke, nut-hooke, you Lye: Come on, Ile tell thee what, thou damn'd Tripe-viſag'd Raſcall, if the Childe I now go with, do miſcarrie, thou had'ſt better thou had'ſt ſtrooke thy Mother, thou Paper-fac'd Vil
O that Sir Iohn were come, hee would make this a bloody day to ſome body. But I would the Fruite of her Wombe might miſcarry.
If it do, you ſhall haue a dozen of Cuſhions againe, you haue but eleuen now. Come, I charge you both go with me: for the man is dead, that you and Pi
Ile tell thee what, thou thin man in a Cenſor; I will haue you as ſoundly ſwindg'd for this, you blew-Bottel'd Rogue: you filthy famiſh'd Correctioner, if you be not ſwing'd, Ile forſweare halfe Kirtles.
Come, come, you ſhee-Knight-arrant, come.
O, that right ſhould thus o'recome might. Wel of ſufferance, comes eaſe.
Yes, come you ſtaru'd Blood-hound.
Goodman death, goodman Bones.
Thou Anatomy, thou.
Very well.
More Ruſhes, more Ruſhes.
The Trumpets haue ſounded twice.
It will be two of the Clocke, ere they come from the Coronation.
Stand heere by me, M. Robert Shallow, I will make the King do you Grace. I will leere vpon him, as he comes by: and do but marke the countenance that hee will giue me.
Bleſſe thy Lungs, good Knight.
Come heere Piſtol, ſtand behind me. O if I had had time to haue made new Liueries, I would haue be
It doth ſo.
It ſhewes my earneſtneſſe in affection.
It doth ſo.
My deuotion.
It doth, it doth, it doth.
It is moſt certaine,
But to ſtand ſtained with Trauaile, and ſweating with deſire to ſee him, thinking of nothing elſe, putting all affayres in obliuion, as if there were nothing els to bee done, but to ſee him.
'Tis ſemper idem: for obſque hoc nihil est. 'Tis all in euery part.
'Tis ſo indeed.
My Knight, I will enflame thy Noble Liuer, and make thee rage. Thy Dol, and Helen of thy noble thoghts is in baſe Durance, and contagious priſon: Hall'd thiDol is in. Piſtol, ſpeakes nought but troth.
I will deliuer her.
There roar'd the Sea: and Trumpet Clangour ſounds.
Saue thy Grace, King Hall, my Royall Hall.
The heauens thee guard, and keepe, moſt royall Impe of Fame.
'Saue thee my ſweet Boy.
My Lord Chiefe Iuſtice, ſpeake to that vaine man.
My King, my Ioue; I ſpeake to thee, my heart.
Maſter Shallow, I owe you a thouſand pound.
I marry Sir Iohn, which I beſeech you to let me haue home with me.
That can hardly be, M. Shallow, do not you grieue at this: I ſhall be ſent for in priuate to him: Looke you, he muſt ſeeme thus to the world: feare not your aduance
I cannot well perceiue how, vnleſſe you ſhould giue me your Doublet, and ſtuffe me out with Straw. I beſeech you, good Sir Iohn, let mee haue fiue hundred of my thouſand.
Sir, I will be as good as my word. This that you heard, was but a colour.
A colour I feare, that you will dye, in Sir Iohn.
My Lord, my Lord.
Si fortuna me tormento, ſpera me contento.
And ſo they are.
He hath.
If my Tongue cannot entreate you to acquit me: will you command me to vſe my Legges? And yet that were but light payment, to Dance out of your debt: But a good Conſcience, will make any poſsible ſatisfaction, and ſo will I. All the Gen
One word more, I beſeech you: if you be not too much cloid with Fat Meate, our humble Author will continue the Story (with Sir Iohn in it) and make you merry, with faire Katherine of France: where (for any thing I know) Falſtaffe ſhall dye of a ſweat, vnleſſe already he be kill'd with your hard Opinions: For
But how my Lord ſhall we reſiſt is now?
This would drinke deepe.
'Twould drinke the Cup and all.
But what preuention?
The King is full of grace, and faire re
And a true louer of the holy Church.
We are bleſſed in the Change.
How did this offer ſeeme receiu'd, my Lord?
What was th' impediment that broke this off?
It is.
Ile wait vpon you, and I long to heare it.
Where is my gracious Lord of Canterbury?
Not here in preſence.
Send for him, good Vnckle.
Shall we call in th' Ambaſſador, my Liege?
May I with right and conſcience make this claim?
What Treaſure Vncle?
Tennis balles, my Liege.
This was a merry Meſſage.
Well met Corporall Nym.
Good morrow Lieutenant Bardolfe.
What, are Ancient Piſtoll and you friends yet?
For my part, I care not: I ſay little: but when time ſhall ſerue, there ſhall be ſmiles, but that ſhall be as it may. I dare not fight, but I will winke and holde out mine yron: it is a ſimple one, but what though? It will toſte Cheeſe, and it will endure cold, as another mans ſword will: and there's an end.
I will beſtow a breakfaſt to make you friendes, and wee'l bee all three ſworne brothers to France: Let't be ſo good Corporall Nym.
Faith, I will liue ſo long as I may, that's the cer
It is certaine Corporall, that he is marryed to Nell Quickly, and certainly ſhe did you wrong, for you were troth-plight to her.
I cannot tell, Things muſt be as they may: men may ſleepe, and they may haue their throats about them at that time, and ſome ſay, kniues haue edges: It muſt be as it may, though patience be a tyred name, yet ſhee will plodde, there muſt be Concluſions, well, I cannot tell.
Heere comes Ancient Piſtoll and his wife: good Corporall be patient heere. How now mine Hoaſte Piſtoll?
Baſe Tyke, cal'ſt thou mee Hoſte, now by this hand I ſweare I ſcorne the terme: nor ſhall my Nel keep Lodgers.
No by my troth, not long: For we cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteene Gentlewomen that liue honeſtly by the pricke of their Needles, but it will bee thought we keepe a Bawdy-houſe ſtraight. O welliday Lady, if he be not hewne now, we ſhall ſee wilful adulte
Good Lieutenant, good Corporal offer nothing heere.
Piſh.
Piſh for thee, Iſland dogge: thou prickeard cur of Iſland.
Good Corporall Nym ſhew thy valor, and put vp your ſword.
Will you ſhogge off? I would haue you ſolus.
Solus, egregious dog? O Viper vile; The ſolus in thy moſt meruailous face, the ſolus in thy teeth, and in thy throate, and in thy hatefull Lungs, yea in thy Maw perdy; and which is worſe, within thy naſtie mouth. I do retort the ſolus in thy bowels, for I can take, and Piſtols cocke is vp, and flaſhing fire will follow.
I am not Barbaſon, you cannot coniure mee: I haue an humor to knocke you indifferently well: If you grow fowle with me Piſtoll, I will ſcoure you with my Rapier, as I may, in fayre tearmes. If you would walke off, I would pricke your guts a little in good tearmes, as I may, and that's the humor of it.
Heare me, heare me what I ſay: Hee that ſtrikes the firſt ſtroake, Ile run him vp to the hilts, as I am a ſol
I will cut thy throate one time or other in faire termes, that is the humor of it.
Couple a gorge, that is the word. I defie thee aLazar Kite of Creſſids kinde, Doll Teare-ſheete, ſhe by name, and her eſpouſe. I haue, and I will hold the Quondam Quickely for the onely ſhee: and Pauca, there's enough to go to.
Mine Hoaſt Piſtoll, you muſt come to my MayBardolfe, put thy face betweene his ſheets, and do the Office of a Warming-pan: Faith, he's very ill.
Away you Rogue.
By my troth he'l yeeld the Crow a pudding one of theſe dayes: the King has kild his heart. Good Huſ
Come, ſhall I make you two friends. Wee muſt to France together: why the diuel ſhould we keep kniues to cut one anothers throats?
Let ſtoods ore-ſwell, and fiends for food howle on.
You'l pay me the eight ſhillings I won of you at Betting?
Baſe is the Slaue that payes.
That now I wil haue: that's the humor of it.
As manhood ſhal compound: puſh home.
Sword is an Oath, & Oaths muſt haue their courſe
Coporall Nym, & thou wilt be friends be frends, and thou wilt not, why then be enemies with me to: pre
A Noble ſhalt thou haue, and preſent pay, and Liquor likewiſe will I giue to thee, and friendſhippe ſhall combyne, and brotherhood. Ile liue by Nymme, & Nymme ſhall liue by me, is not this iuſt? For I ſhal Sur
I ſhall haue my Noble?
In caſh, moſt iuſtly payd.
Well, then that the humor of't.
As euer you come of women, come in quickly to ſir Iohn: A poore heart, hee is ſo ſhak'd of a burning quotidian Tertian, that it is moſt lamentable to behold. Sweet men, come to him.
The King hath run bad humors on the Knight, that's the euen of it.
Nym, thou haſt ſpoke the right, his heart is fra
The King is a good King, but it muſt bee as it may: he paſſes ſome humors, and carreeres.
Let vs condole the Knight, for (Lambekins) we will liue.
Fore God his Grace is bold to truſt theſe traitors
They ſhall be apprehended by and by.
No doubt my Liege, if each man do his beſt.
O let vs yet be mercifull.
So may your Highneſſe, and yet puniſh too.
So did you me my Liege.
And I my Royall Soueraigne.
To which we all appeale.
'Prythee honey ſweet Husband, let me bring thee to Staines.
No: for my manly heart doth erne. Bardolph, be blythe: Nim, rowſe thy vaunting Veines: Boy, briſsle thy Courage vp: for Falſtaffe hee is dead, and wee muſt erne therefore.
Would I were with him, whereſomere hee is, eyther in Heauen, or in Hell.
Nay ſure, hee's not in Hell: hee's in Arthurs Boſome, if euer man went to Arthurs Boſome: a made a finer end, and went away and it had beene any Chriſtome Child: a parted eu'n iuſt betweene Twelue and One, eu'n at the turning o' th' Tyde: for after I ſaw him ſumble with the Sheets, and play with Flowers, and ſmile vpon his finIohn (quoth I?) what man? be a good cheare: ſo a cryed out, God, God, God, three or foure times: now I, to comfort him, bid him a ſhould not thinke of God; I hop'd there was no neede to trouble himſelfe with any ſuch thoughts yet: ſo a bad me lay more Clothes on his feet: I put my hand into the Bed, and felt them, and they were as cold as any ſtone: then I felt to his knees, and ſo vp-peer'd, and vpward, and all was as cold as any ſtone.
They ſay he cryed out of Sack.
I, that a did.
And of Women.
Nay, that a did not.
Yes that a did, and ſaid they were Deules incar
A could neuer abide Carnation, 'twas a Co
A ſaid once, the Deule would haue him about Women.
A did in ſome ſort (indeed) handle Women: but then hee was rumatique, and talk'd of the Whore of Babylon.
Doe you not remember a ſaw a Flea ſticke vpon Bardolphs Noſe, and a ſaid it was a blacke Soule burning in Hell.
Well, the fuell is gone that maintain'd that fire: that's all the Riches I got in his ſeruice.
Shall wee ſhogg? the King will be gone from Southampton.
Come, let's away. My Loue, giue me thy Lippes: Looke to my Chattels, and my Moueables: Let Sences rule: The world is, Pitch and pay: truſt none: for Oathes are Strawes, mens Faiths are Wafer-Cakes, and hold-faſt is the onely Dogge: My Ducke, therefore Caueto bee thy Counſailor. Goe, cleare thy Chryſtalls. Yoke-fellowes in Armes, let vs to France, like Horſe-leeches
And that's but vnwholeſome food, they ſay.
Touch her ſoft mouth, and march.
Farwell Hoſteſſe.
I cannot kiſſe, that is the humor of it: but adieu.
Let Huſwiferie appeare: keepe cloſe, I thee command.
Farwell: adieu.
From our Brother of England?
Or elſe what followes?
To morrow ſhall you know our mind at full.
On, on, on, on, on, to the breach, to the breach.
'Pray thee Corporall ſtay, the Knocks are too hot: and for mine owne part, I haue not a Caſe of Liues: the humor of it is too hot, that is the very plaine-Song of it.
The plaine-Song is moſt iuſt: for humors doe a
Would I were in an Ale-houſe in London, I would giue all my fame for a Pot of Ale, and ſafetie.
And I: If wiſhes would preuayle with me, my purpoſe ſhould not fayle with me; but thither would I high.
As duly, but not as truly, as Bird doth ſing on bough.
Vp to the breach, you Dogges; auaunt you Cullions.
Be mercifull great Duke to men of Mould: a
Theſe be good humors: your Honor wins bad humors.
As young as I am, I haue obſeru'd theſe three Swaſhers: I am Boy to them all three, but all they three, though they would ſerue me, could not be Man to me; for indeed three ſuch Antiques doe not amount to a man: for Bardolph, hee is white-liuer'd, and red-fac'd; by the meanes whereof, a faces it out, but fights not: for Piſtoll, hee hath a killing Tongue, and a quiet Sword; by the meanes whereof, a breakes Words, and keepes whole Weapons: for Nim, hee hath heard, that men of few Words are the beſt men, and therefore hee ſcornes to ſay his Prayers, leſt a ſhould be thought a Coward: but his few bad Words are matcht with as few good Deeds; for a neuer broke any mans Head but his owne, and that was againſt a Poſt, when he was drunke. They will ſteale any thing, and call it Purchaſe. Bardolph ſtole a Lute-caſe, bore it twelue Leagues, and ſold it for three halfepence. Nim and Bardolph are ſworne Brothers in filching: and in Callice they ſtole a fire-ſhouell. I knew by that peece of Seruice, the men would carry Coales. They would haue me as familiar with mens Pockets, as their Gloues or their Hand-kerchers: which makes much againſt my Manhood, if I ſhould take from anothers Pocket, to put into mine; for it is plaine pocketting vp of Wrongs. I muſt leaue them, and ſeeke ſome better Seruice: their Villany goes againſt my weake ſtomacke, and therefore I muſt caſt it vp.
Captaine Fluellen, you muſt come preſently to the Mynes; the Duke of Glouceſter would ſpeake with you.
To the Mynes? Tell you the Duke, it is not ſo good to come to the Mynes: for looke you, the Mynes is not according to the diſciplines of the Warre; the conCheſhu, I thinke a will plowe vp all, if there is not better directi
The Duke of Glouceſter, to whom the Order of the Siege is giuen, is altogether directed by an Iriſh man, a very valiant Gentleman yfaith.
It is Captaine Makmorrice, is it not?
I thinke it be.
By Cheſhu he is an Aſſe, as in the World, I will verifie as much in his Beard: he ha's no more directions in the true diſciplines of the Warres, looke you, of the Roman diſciplines, then is a Puppy-dog.
Here a comes, and the Scots Captaine, Captaine Iamy, with him.
Captaine Iamy is a maruellous falorous GenCheſhu he will maintaine his Argument as well as any Militarie man in the World, in the diſciplines of the Priſtine Warres of the Romans.
I ſay gudday, Captaine Fluellen.
Godden to your Worſhip, good Captaine Iames.
How now Captaine Mackmorrice, haue you quit the Mynes? haue the Pioners giuen o're?
By Chriſh Law tiſh ill done: the Worke iſh giue ouer, the Trompet ſound the Retreat. By my Hand I ſweare, and my fathers Soule, the Worke iſh ill done: it iſh giue ouer: I would haue blowed vp the Towne, ſo Chriſh ſaue me law, in an houre. O tiſh ill done, tiſh ill done: by my Hand tiſh ill done.
Captaine Mackmorrice, I beſeech you now, will you voutſafe me, looke you, a few diſputations with you, as partly touching or concerning the diſciplines of the Warre, the Roman Warres, in the way of Argument, looke you, and friendly communication: partly to ſatisfie my Opinion, and partly for the ſatisfaction, looke you, of my Mind: as touching the direction of the Militarie diſ
It fall be vary gud, gud feith, gud Captens bath, and I fall quit you with gud leue, as I may pick occaſion: that fall I mary.
It is no time to diſcourſe, ſo Chriſh ſaue me: the day is hot, and the Weather, and the Warres, and the King, and the Dukes: it is no time to diſcourſe, the Town is beſeech'd: and the Trumpet call vs to the breech, and we talke, and be Chriſh do nothing, tis ſhame for vs all: ſo God ſa'me tis ſhame to ſtand ſtill, it is ſhame by my hand: and there is Throats to be cut, and Workes to be done, and there iſh nothing done, ſo Chriſt ſa'me law.
By the Mes, ere theiſe eyes of mine take them
Captaine Mackmorrice, I thinke, looke you, vnder your correction, there is not many of your Na
Of my Nation? What iſh my Nation? Iſh a Villaine, and a Baſterd, and a Knaue, and a Raſcall. What iſh my Nation? Who talkes of my Nation?
Looke you, if you take the matter otherwiſe then is meant, Captaine Mackmorrice, peraduenture I ſhall thinke you doe not vſe me with that affabilitie, as in diſcretion you ought to vſe me, looke you, being as good a man as your ſelfe, both in the diſciplines of Warre, and in the deriuation of my Birth, and in other particula
I doe not know you ſo good a man as my ſelfe: ſo Chriſh ſaue me, I will cut off your Head.
Gentlemen both, you will miſtake each other.
A, that's a foule fault.
The Towne ſounds a Parley.
Captaine Mackmorrice, when there is more better oportunitie to be required, looke you, I will be ſo bold as to tell you, I know the diſciplines of Warre: and there is an end.
Alice, tu as eſte en Augleterre, & tu bien parlas le Language.
En peu Madame.
Ie te prie m'enſigniez, il faut que ie apprend a parlen: Comient appelle vous le main en Anglois?
Le main il & appelle de Hand.
De Hand.
Ele doyts.
Le doyts, ma foy Ie oublie, e doyt mays, ie me ſouemeray le doyts ie penſe qu'ils ont appelle de fingres, on de fingres.
Le main de Hand, le doyts le Fingres, ie penſe que ie ſuis, le bon eſcholier.
I' ay gaynie diux mots d' Anglois viſtement, coment appelle vous le ongles?
Le ongles, les appellons de Nayles.
De Nayles eſcoute: dites moy, ſi ie parle bien: de Hand, de Fingres, e de Nayles.
Ceſt bien dict Madame, il & fort bon Anglois.
Dites moy l' Anglois pour le bras.
De Arme, Madame.
E de coudee.
D' Elbow.
D' Elbow: Ie men fay le repiticio de touts les mots que vous maves, apprins des a preſent.
Il & trop difficile Madame, comme Ie penſe.
Excuſe moy Alice eſcoute, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Nayles, d' Arma, de Bilbow.
D' Elbow, Madame.
O Seigneur Dieu, ie men oublie d' Elbow, coment appelle vous le col.
De Nick, Madame.
De Nick, e le menton.
De Chin.
De Sin: le col de Nick, le menton de Sin.
Ouy. Sauf voſtre honneur en verite vous pronouncies les mots auſi droict, que le Natifs d' Angleterre.
Ie ne doute point d' apprendre par de grace de Dieu, & en peu de temps.
N' aue vos y deſia oublie ce que ie vous a enfignie.
Nome ie recitera a vous promptement, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Maylees.
De Nayles, Madame.
De Nayles, de Arme, de Ilbow.
Sans voſtre honeus d' Elbow.
Ainſi de ie d' Elbow, de Nick, & de Sin: coment appelle vous les pied & de roba.
Le Foot Madame, & le Count.
Le Foot, & le Count: O Seignieur Dieu, il ſont le mots de ſon mauvais corruptible groſſe & impudique, & non pour lo Dames de Honeur d' vſer: le ne voudray pronouncer ce mots deuant le Seigneurs de France, pour toute le monde, fo le Foot & le Count, neant moys, Ie recitera vn autrefoys ma lecon enſembe, d' Hand, de Fingre, de Nayles, d' Arme, d' Elbow, de Nick, de Sin, de Foot, le Count.
Excellent, Madame.
C' eſt aſſes pour vne foyes, alons nous a diner.
'Tis certaine he hath paſt the Riuer Some.
How now Captaine Fluellen, come you from the Bridge?
I aſſure you, there is very excellent Seruices com
Is the Duke of Exeter ſafe?
The Duke of Exeter is as magnanimous as Agamemnon, and a man that I loue and honour with my ſoule, and my heart, and my dutie, and my liue, and my liuing, and my vttermoſt power. He is not, God be prayſed and bleſſed, any hurt in the World, but keepes the Bridge moſt valiantly, with excellent diſcipline. There is an aun
What doe you call him?
Hee is call'd aunchient Piſtoll.
I know him not.
Here is the man.
Captaine, I thee beſeech to doe me fauours: the Duke of Exeter doth loue thee well.
I, I prayſe God, and I haue merited ſome loue at his hands.
Bardolph, a Souldier firme and ſound of heart, and of buxome valour, hath by cruell Fate, and giddie Fortunes furious fickle Wheele, that Goddeſſe blind, that ſtands vpon the rolling reſtleſſe Stone.
By your patience, aunchient Piſtoll: Fortune is painted blinde, with a Muffler afore his eyes, to ſignifie to you, that Fortune is blinde; and ſhee is painted alſo with a Wheele, to ſignifie to you, which is the Morall of it, that ſhee is turning and inconſtant, and mutabilitie, and variation: and her foot, looke you, is fixed vpon a Sphericall Stone, which rowles, and rowles, and rowles: in good truth, the Poet makes a moſt excellent deſcripti
Fortune is Bardolphs foe, and frownes on him: for he hath ſtolne a Pax, and hanged muſt a be: a damned death: let Gallowes gape for Dogge, let Man goe free, and let not Hempe his Wind-pipe ſuffocate: but Exeter hath giuen the doome of death, for Pax of little price. Therefore goe ſpeake, the Duke will heare thy voyce; and let not Bardolphs vitall thred bee cut with edge of Penny-Cord, and vile reproach. Speake Captaine for his Life, and I will thee requite.
Aunchient Piſtoll, I doe partly vnderſtand your meaning.
Why then reioyce therefore.
Certainly Aunchient, it is not a thing to reioyce at: for if, looke you, he were my Brother, I would deſire the Duke to vſe his good pleaſure, and put him to execu
Dye, and be dam'd, and Figo for thy friendſhip.
It is well.
The Figge of Spaine.
Very good.
Why, this is an arrant counterfeit Raſcall, I remember him now: a Bawd, a Cut-purſe.
Ile aſſure you, a vtt'red as praue words at the Pridge, as you ſhall ſee in a Summers day: but it is very well: what he ha's ſpoke to me, that is well I warrant you, when time is ſerue.
Why 'tis a Gull, a Foole, a Rogue, that now and then goes to the Warres, to grace himſelfe at his returne into London, vnder the forme of a Souldier: and ſuch fellowes are perfit in the Great Commanders Names, and they will learne you by rote where Seruices were done; at ſuch and ſuch a Sconce, at ſuch a Breach, at ſuch a Con
I tell you what, Captaine Gower: I doe perceiue hee is not the man that hee would gladly make ſhew to the World hee is: if I finde a hole in his Coat, I will tell him my minde: hearke you the King is comming, and I muſt ſpeake with him from the Pridge.
God pleſſe your Maieſtie.
How now Fluellen, cam'ſt thou from the Bridge?
I, ſo pleaſe your Maieſtie: The Duke of Exeter ha's very gallantly maintain'd the Pridge; the French is gone off, looke you, and there is gallant and moſt praue paſſages: marry, th' athuerſarie was haue poſſeſſion of the Pridge, but he is enforced to retyre, and the Duke of Exeter is Maſter of the Pridge: I can tell your Maieſtie, the Duke is a praue man.
What men haue you loſt, Fluellen?
The perdition of th' athuerſarie hath beene very great, reaſonnable great: marry for my part, I thinke the Duke hath loſt neuer a man, but one that is like to be exeBardolph, if your Maie
Wee would haue all ſuch offendors ſo cut off: and we giue expreſſe charge, that in our Marches through the Countrey, there be nothing compell'd from the Vil
You know me by my habit.
Well then, I know thee: what ſhall I know of thee?
My Maſters mind.
Vnfold it.
Thus ſayes my King: Say thou to Harry of England, Though we ſeem'd dead, we did but ſleepe: Aduantage is a better Souldier then raſhneſſe. Tell him, wee could haue rebuk'd him at Harflewe, but that wee thought not good to bruiſe an iniurie, till it were full ripe. Now wee ſpeake vpon our Q. and our voyce is im
What is thy name? I know thy qualitie.
Mountioy.
I ſhall deliuer ſo: Thankes to your High
I hope they will not come vpon vs now.
Tut, I haue the beſt Armour of the World: would it were day.
You haue an excellent Armour; but let my Horſe haue his due.
It is the beſt Horſe of Europe.
Will it neuer be Morning?
My Lord of Orleance, and my Lord High Con
You are as well prouided of both, as any Prince in the World.
What a long Night is this? I will not change my Horſe with any that treades but on foure poſtures: ch' ha: he bounds from the Earth, as if his entrayles were hayres: le Cheual volante, the Pegaſus, ches les na
When I beſtryde him, I ſoare, I am a Hawke: he trots the ayre: the Earth ſings, when he touches it: the baſeſt horne of his hooſe, is more Muſicall then the Pipe of
Hee's of the colour of the Nutmeg.
And of the heat of the Ginger. It is a Beaſt for Perſeus: hee is pure Ayre and Fire; and the dull Ele
Indeed my Lord, it is a moſt abſolute and ex
It is the Prince of Palfrayes, his Neigh is like the bidding of a Monarch, and his countenance enforces Homage.
No more Couſin.
Nay, the man hath no wit, that cannot from the riſing of the Larke to the lodging of the Lambe, varie deſerued prayſe on my Palſray: it is a Theame as fluent as the Sea: Turne the Sands into eloquent tongues, and my Horſe is argument for them all: 'tis a ſubiect for a Soueraigne to reaſon on, and for a Soueraignes SoWonder of Nature.
I haue heard a Sonnet begin ſo to ones Mi
Then did they imitate that which I compos'd to my Courſer, for my Horſe is my Miſtreſſe.
Your Miſtreſſe beares well.
Me well, which is the preſcript prayſe and per
Nay, for me thought yeſterday your Miſtreſſe ſhrewdly ſhooke your back.
So perhaps did yours.
Mine was not bridled.
O then belike ſhe was old and gentle, and you rode like a Kerne of Ireland, your French Hoſe off, and in your ſtrait Stroſſers.
You haue good iudgement in Horſeman
Be warn'd by me then: they that ride ſo, and ride not warily, fall into foule Boggs: I had rather haue my Horſe to my Miſtreſſe.
I had as liue haue my Miſtreſſe a Iade.
I tell thee Conſtable, my Miſtreſſe weares his owne hayre.
I could make as true a boaſt as that, if I had a Sow to my Miſtreſſe.
Le chien eſt retourne a ſon propre vemiſſement eſt la leuye lauee au bourbier: thou mak'ſt vſe of any thing.
Yet doe I not vſe my Horſe for my Miſtreſſe, or any ſuch Prouerbe, ſo little kin to the purpoſe.
My Lord Conſtable, the Armour that I ſaw in your Tent to night, are thoſe Starres or Sunnes vpon it?
Starres my Lord.
Some of them will fall to morrow, I hope.
And yet my Sky ſhall not want.
That may be, for you beare a many ſuperflu
Eu'n as your Horſe beares your prayſes, who would trot as well, were ſome of your bragges diſmoun
Would I were able to loade him with his de
I will not ſay ſo, for feare I ſhould be fac't out of my way: but I would it were morning, for I would faine be about the eares of the Engliſh.
Who will goe to Hazard with me for twentie Priſoners?
You muſt firſt goe your ſelfe to hazard, ere you haue them.
'Tis Mid-night, Ile goe arme my ſelfe.
The Dolphin longs for morning.
He longs to eate the Engliſh.
I thinke he will eate all he kills.
By the white Hand of my Lady, hee's a gal
Sweare by her Foot, that ſhe may tread out the Oath.
He is ſimply the moſt actiue Gentleman of France.
Doing is actiuitie, and he will ſtill be doing.
He neuer did harme, that I heard of.
Nor will doe none to morrow: hee will keepe that good name ſtill.
I know him to be valiant.
I was told that, by one that knowes him better then you.
What's hee?
Marry hee told me ſo himſelfe, and hee ſayd hee car'd not who knew it.
Hee needes not, it is no hidden vertue in him.
By my faith Sir, but it is: neuer any body ſaw it, but his Lacquey: 'tis a hooded valour, and when it appeares, it will bate.
Ill will neuer ſayd well.
I will cap that Prouerbe with, There is flatterie in friendſhip.
And I will take vp that with, Giue the Deuill his due.
Well plac't: there ſtands your friend for the Deuill: haue at the very eye of that Prouerbe with, A Pox of the Deuill.
You are the better at Prouerbs, by how much a Fooles Bolt is ſoone ſhot.
You haue ſhot ouer.
'Tis not the firſt time you were ouer-ſhot.
My Lord high Conſtable, the Engliſh lye within fifteene hundred paces of your Tents.
Who hath meaſur'd the ground?
The Lord Grandpree.
A valiant and moſt expert Gentleman. Would it were day? Alas poore Harry of England: hee longs not for the Dawning, as wee doe.
What a wretched and peeuiſh fellow is this King of England, to mope with his fat-brain'd followers ſo farre out of his knowledge.
If the Engliſh had any apprehenſion, they would runne away.
That they lack: for if their heads had any in
That Iland of England breedes very valiant Creatures; their Maſtiffes are of vnmatchable cou
Fooliſh Curres, that runne winking into the mouth of a Ruſſian Beare, and haue their heads cruſht like rotten Apples: you may as well ſay, that's a valiant Flea, that dare eate his breakefaſt on the Lippe of a Lyon.
Iuſt, iuſt: and the men doe ſympathize with the Maſtiffes, in robuſtious and rough comming on, leauing their Wits with their Wiues: and then giue them great Meales of Beefe, and Iron and Steele; they will eate like Wolues, and fight like Deuils.
I, but theſe Engliſh are ſhrowdly out of Beefe.
Then ſhall we finde to morrow, they haue only ſtomackes to eate, and none to fight. Now is it time to arme: come, ſhall we about it?
We ſhall, my Liege.
Shall I attend your Grace?
The Lord in Heauen bleſſe thee, Noble Harry.
God a mercy old Heart, thou ſpeak'ſt cheare
Che vous la?
A friend.
Diſcuſſe vnto me, art thou Officer, or art thou baſe, common, and popular?
I am a Gentleman of a Company.
Trayl'ſt thou the puiſſant Pyke?
Euen ſo: what are you?
As good a Gentleman as the Emperor.
Then you are a better then the King.
The King's a Bawcock, and a Heart of Gold, a Lad of Life, an Impe of Fame, of Parents good, of Fiſt moſt valiant: I kiſſe his durtie ſhooe, and from heart
Harry le Roy.
Le Roy? a Corniſh Name: art thou of Corniſh Crew?
No, I am a Welchman.
Know'ſt thou Fluellen?
Yes.
Tell him Ile knock his Leeke about his Pate vpon S. Dauies day.
Doe not you weare your Dagger in your Cappe that day, leaſt he knock that about yours.
Art thou his friend?
And his Kinſman too.
The Figo for thee then.
I thanke you: God be with you.
My name is Pistol call'd.
It ſorts well with your fierceneſſe.
Captaine Fluellen.
'So, in the Name of Ieſu Chriſt, ſpeake fewer: it is the greateſt admiration in the vniuerſall World, when the true and aunchient Prerogatifes and Lawes of the Warres is not kept: if you would take the paines but to examine the Warres of Pompey the Great, you ſhall finde, I warrant you, that there is no tiddle tadle nor pibble baPompeyes Campe: I warrant you, you ſhall finde the Ceremonies of the Warres, and the Cares of it, and the Formes of it, and the Sobrietie of it, and the Modeſtie of it, to be otherwiſe.
Why the Enemie is lowd, you heare him all Night.
If the Enemie is an Aſſe and a Foole, and a pra
I will ſpeake lower.
I pray you, and beſeech you, that you will.
Brother Iohn Bates, is not that the Morning which breakes yonder?
I thinke it be: but wee haue no great cauſe to deſire the approach of day.
Wee ſee yonder the beginning of the day, but I thinke wee ſhall neuer ſee the end of it. Who goes there?
A Friend.
Vnder what Captaine ſerue you?
Vnder Sir Iohn Erpingham.
A good old Commander, and a moſt kinde Gentleman: I pray you
Euen as men wrackt vpon a Sand, that looke to be waſht off the next Tyde.
He hath not told his thought to the King?
No: nor it is not meet he ſhould: for though I ſpeake it to you, I thinke the King is but a man, as I am: the Violet ſmells to him, as it doth to me; the Element ſhewes to him, as it doth to me; all his Sences haue but humane Conditions: his Ceremonies layd by, in his Na
He may ſhew what outward courage he will: but I beleeue, as cold a Night as 'tis, hee could wiſh him
By my troth, I will ſpeake my conſcience of the King: I thinke hee would not wiſh himſelfe any where, but where hee is.
Then I would he were here alone; ſo ſhould he be ſure to be ranſomed, and a many poore mens liues ſaued.
I dare ſay, you loue him not ſo ill, to wiſh him here alone: howſoeuer you ſpeake this to feele other mens minds, me thinks I could not dye any where ſo con
That's more then we know.
I, or more then wee ſhould ſeeke after; for wee know enough, if wee know wee are the Kings Subiects: if his Cauſe be wrong, our obedience to the King wipes the Cryme of it out of vs.
But if the Cauſe be not good, the King him
So, if a Sonne that is by his Father ſent about Merchandize, doe ſinfully miſcarry vpon the Sea; the im
'Tis certaine, euery man that dyes ill, the ill vpon his owne head, the King is not to anſwer it.
I doe not deſire hee ſhould anſwer for me, and yet I determine to fight luſtily for him.
I my ſelfe heard the King ſay he would not be ranſom'd.
I, hee ſaid ſo, to make vs fight chearefully: but when our throats are cut, hee may be ranſom'd, and wee ne're the wiſer.
If I liue to ſee it, I will neuer truſt his word af
You pay him then: that's a perillous ſhot out of an Elder Gunne, that a poore and a priuate diſpleaſure can doe againſt a Monarch: you may as well goe about to turne the Sunne to yee, with fanning in his face with a Peacocks feather: You'le neuer truſt his word after; come, 'tis a fooliſh ſaying.
Your reproofe is ſomething too round, I ſhould be angry with you, if the time were conuenient.
Let it bee a Quarrell betweene vs, if you liue.
I embrace it.
How ſhall I know thee againe?
Giue me any Gage of thine, and I will weare it in my Bonnet: Then if euer thou dar'ſt acknowledge it, I will make it my Quarrell.
Heere's my Gloue: Giue mee another of thine.
There.
This will I alſo weare in my Cap: if euer thou come to me, and ſay, after to morrow, This is my Gloue, by this Hand I will take thee a box on the eare.
If euer I liue to ſee it, I will challenge it.
Thou dar'ſt as well be hang'd.
Well, I will doe it, though I take thee in the Kings companie.
Keepe thy word: fare thee well.
Be friends you Engliſh fooles, be friends, wee haue French Quarrels enow, if you could tell how to rec
Indeede the French may lay twentie French Crownes to one, they will beat vs, for they beare them on their ſhoulders: but it is no Engliſh Treaſon to cut French Crownes, and to morrow the King himſelfe will be a Clipper.
I ſhall doo't, my Lord.
My Liege.
The Sunne doth gild our Armour vp, my Lords.
Monte Cheual: My Horſe,
Ʋerlot Lacquay: Ha.
Oh braue Spirit.
Viales swes & terre.
Rien puis le air & f
Hearke how our Steedes, for preſent Seruice neigh.
The Engliſh are embattail'd, you French Peeres.
Where is the King?
The King himſelfe is rode to view their Bat
Of fighting men they haue full threeſcore thou
There's fiue to one, beſides they all are freſh.
Farwell kind Lord: fight valiantly to day.
All things are ready, if our minds be ſo.
Periſh the man, whoſe mind is backward now.
Thou do'ſt not wiſh more helpe from England, Couze?
Who hath ſent thee now?
The Conſtable of France.
I feare thou wilt once more come againe for a Ranſome.
My Lord, moſt humbly on my knee I begge The leading of the Vaward.
Yeeld Curre.
Ie penſe que vous eſtes le Gentilhome de bon qualitee.
Qualtitie calmie cuſlure me. Art thou a Gentle
O Seigneur Dieu.
O Signieur Dewe ſhould be a Gentleman: per
O prennes miſerecordie aye pitez de moy.
Moy ſhall not ſerue, I will haue fortie Moyes: for I will fetch thy rymme out at thy Throat, in droppes of Crimſon blood.
Eſt il impoſſible d'eſchapper le force de ton bras.
Braſſe
O perdonne moy.
Say'ſt thou me ſo? is that a Tonne of Moyes? Come hither boy, aske me this ſlaue in French what is his Name.
Eſcoute comment eſtes vous appelle?
Mounſieur le Fer.
He ſayes his Name is M. Fer.
M. Fer: Ile fer him, and firke him, and ferret him: diſcuſſe the ſame in French vnto him.
I doe not know the French for fer, and ferret, and firke.
Bid him prepare, for I will cut his throat.
Que dit il Mounſieur?
Il me commande a vous dire que vous faite vous proſt, car ce ſoldat icy est diſpoſee tout aſture de couppes voſtre gorge.
Owy, cuppele gorge permafoy peſant, vnleſſe thou giue me Crownes, braue Crownes
O Ie vous ſupplie pour l'amour de Dieu: ma pardonner, Ie ſuis le Gentilhome de bon maiſon, garde ma vie, & Ie vous donneray deux cent eſcus.
What are his words?
He prayes you to ſaue his life, he is a Gentleman of a good houſe, and for his ranſom he will giue you two hundred Crownes.
Tell him my fury ſhall abate, and I the Crownes will take.
Petit Monſieur que dit il?
Encore qu il et contra ſon Iurement, de pardonner aucune priſonner: neant-mon
Sur mes genoux ſe vous donnes milles remercious, et Ie me eſtime heurex que Ie intombe, entre les main. d'vn Cheualier Ie peuſe le plus brane valiant et tres diſtinie ſignieur d' Anglererre.
Expound vnto me boy.
He giues you vpon his knees a thouſand thanks, and he eſteemes himſelfe happy, that he hath falne into the hands of one (as he thinker) the moſt braue, valorous and thrice-worthy ſigneur of England.
As I ſucke blood, I will ſome mercy ſhew. Fol
Saaue vous lo grand Capitaine? I did neuer know ſo full a voyce iſſue from ſo emptie a heart: but the ſaying is true. The empty veſſel makes the greateſt ſound, Bardolſe and Nym had tenne times more valour, then this roaring diuell i' th olde play, that euerie one may payre his nayles with a woodden dagger, and they are both hang'd, and ſo would this be, if hee durſt ſteale any thing adueuturouſly. I muſt ſtay with the Lackies with the luggage of our camp, the French might haue a good pray of vs, if he knew of it, for there is none to guard it but boyes.
O Diable.
O ſigneur le iour et perdia, toute et perdie.
Why all our rankes are broke.
Is this the King we ſent too, for his ranſome?
The D. of York commends him to your Maieſty
Kill the poyes and the luggage, 'Tis expreſſely againſt the Law of Armes, tis as arrant a peece of knaue
Tis certaine, there's not a boy left aliue, and the Cowardly Raſcalls that ranne from the battaile ha' done this ſlaughter: beſides they haue burned and carried a
Alexander the Great.
Why I pray you, is not pig, great? The pig, or the great, or the mighty, or the huge, or the magnani
I thinke Alexander the Great was borne in Macedon, his Father was called Phillip of Macedon, as I take it.
I thinke it is in Macedon where Alexander is
Macedon & Monmouth, that the ſituations looke you, is both alike. There is a Riuer in Macedon, & there is alſo moreouer a Riuer at Monmouth, it is call'd Wye at Monmouth: but it is out of my praines, what is the name of the other Riuer: but 'tis all one, tis alike as my fingers is to my fingers, and there is Salmons in both. If you marke Alexanders life well, Harry of Monmouthes life is come after it indifferent well, for there is figures in all things. Alexander God knowes, and you know, in his rages, and his furies, and his wraths, and his chollers, and his moodes, and his diſpleaſures, and his indignations, and alſo being a little intoxicates in his praines, did in his Ales and his angers (looke you) kill his beſt friend Clytus.
Our King is not like him in that, he neuer kill'd any of his friends.
It is not well done (marke you now) to take the tales out of my mouth, ere it is made and finiſhed. I ſpeak but in the figures, and compariſons of it: as Alexander kild his friend Clytus, being in his Ales and his Cuppes; ſo alſo Harry Monmouth being in his right wittes, and his good iudgements, turn'd away the fat Knight with the great belly doublet: he was full of ieſts, and gypes, and knaueries, and mockes, I haue forgot his name.
Sir Iohn Falſtaffe.
That is he: Ile tell you, there is good men porne at Monmouth.
Heere comes his Maieſty.
Here comes the Herald of the French, my Liege
His eyes are humbler then they vs'd to be.
The day is yours.
They call it Agincourt.
Your Grandfather of famous memory (an't pleaſe your Maieſty) and your great Vncle Edward the Placke Prince of Wales, as I haue read in the Chronicles, fought a moſt praue pattle here in France.
They did Fluellen.
Your Maieſty ſayes very true: If your Maieſties is remembred of it, the Welchmen did good ſeruice in a Garden where Leekes did grow, wearing Leekes in their Monmouth caps, which your Maieſty know to this houre is an honourable badge of the ſeruice: And I do beleeue your Maieſty takes no ſcorne to weare the Leeke vppon S. Tau
All the water in Wye, cannot waſh your Maie
Thankes good my Countrymen.
By leſhu, I am your Maieſties Countreyman, I care not who know it: I will confeſſe it to all the Orld, I need not to be aſhamed of your Maieſty, praiſed be God ſo long as your Maieſty is an honeſt man.
Souldier, you muſt come to the King.
Souldier, why wear'ſt thou that Gloue in thy Cappe?
And't pleaſe your Maieſty, tis the gage of one that I ſhould fight withall, if he be aliue.
An Engliſhman?
And't pleaſe your Maieſty, a Raſcall that ſwag
What thinke you Captaine Fluellen, is it fit this ſouldier keepe his oath.
Hee is a Crauen and a Villaine elſe, and't pleaſe your Maieſty in my conſcience.
It may bee, his enemy is a Gentleman of great ſort quite from the anſwer of his degree.
Though he be as good a Ientleman as the diuel is, as Lucifer and Belzebub himſelfe, it is neceſſary (looke your Grace) that he keepe his vow and his oath: If hee bee periur'd (ſee you now) his reputation is as arrant a villaine and a lacke ſawce, as euer his blacke ſhoo trodd vpon Gods ground, and his earth, in my conſcience law
Then keepe thy vow ſirrah, when thou meet'ſt the fellow.
So, I wil my Liege, as I liue.
Who ſeru'ſt thou vnder?
Vnder Captaine Gower, my Liege.
Gower is a good Captaine, and is good know
Call him hither to me, Souldier.
I will my Liege.
Here Fluellen, weare thou this fauour for me, and ſticke it in thy Cappe: when Alanſon and my ſelfe were downe together, I plackt this Gloue from his Helme: If any man challenge this, hee is a friend to Alanſon, and an enemy to our Perſon; if thou encounter any ſuch, appre
Your Grace doo's me as great Honors as can be deſir'd in the hearts of his Subiects: I would faine ſee the man, that ha's but two legges, that ſhall find himſelfe agreeſd at this Gloue; that is all: but I would faine ſee it once, and pleaſe God of his grace that I might ſee.
Know'ſt thou Gower?
He is my deare friend, and pleaſe you.
Pray thee goe ſeeke him, and bring him to my Tent.
I will fetch him.
I warrant it is to Knight you, Captaine.
Gods will, and his pleaſure, Captaine, I beſeech you now, come apace to the King: there is more good toward you peraduenture, then is in your knowledge to dreame of.
Sir, know you this Gloue?
Know the Gloue? I know the Gloue is a Gloue.
I know this, and thus I challenge it.
'Sbl
How now Sir? you Villaine.
Doe you thinke Ile be forſworne?
Stand away Captaine Gower, I will giue Treaſon his payment into plowes, I warrant you.
I am no Traytor.
That's a Lye in thy Throat. I charge you in his Maieſties Name apprehend him, he's a friend of the Duke Alanſons.
How now, how now, what's the matter?
My Lord of Warwick, heere is, prayſed be God for it, a moſt contagious Treaſon come to light, looke you, as you ſhall deſire in a Summers day. Heere is his Maieſtie.
How now, what's the matter?
My Liege, heere is a Villaine, and a Traytor, that looke your Grace, ha's ſtrooke the Gloue which your Maieſtie is take out of the Helmet of Alanſon.
My Liege, this was my Gloue, here is the fellow of it: and he that I gaue it to in change, promis'd to weare it in his Cappe: I promis'd to ſtrike him, if he did: I met this man with my Gloue in his Cappe, and I haue been as good as my word.
Your Maieſtie heare now, ſauing your Maieſties Manhood, what an arrant raſcally, beggerly, lowſie Knaue it is: I hope your Maieſtie is peare me teſtimonie and witneſſe, and will auouchment, that this is the Gloue of Alanſon, that your Maieſtie is giue me, in your Con
And pleaſe your Maieſtie, let his Neck anſwere for it, if there is any Marſhall Law in the World.
How canſt thou make me ſatisfaction?
All offences, my Lord, come from the heart: ne
It was our ſelfe thou didſt abuſe.
Your Maieſtie came not like your ſelfe: you appear'd to me but as a common man; witneſſe the Night, your Garments, your Lowlineſſe: and what your Highneſſe ſuffer'd vnder that ſhape, I beſeech you take it for your owne fau
By this Day and this Light, the fellow ha's met
I will none of your Money.
It is with a good will: I can tell you it will ſerue you to mend your ſhooes: come, wherefore ſhould you be ſo paſhfull, your ſhooes is not ſo good: 'tis a good ſilling I warrant you, or I will change it.
Now Herauld, are the dead numbred?
Heere is the number of the ſlaught'red French.
What Priſoners of good ſort are taken, Vnckle?
'Tis wonderfull.
Is it not lawfull and pleaſe your Maieſtie, to tell how many is kill'd?
Yes, my conſcience, he did vs great good.
Nay, that's right: but why weare you your Leeke to day? S. Dauies day is paſt.
There is occaſions and cauſes why and wherefore in all things: I will tell you aſſe my friend, Captaine Gower; the raſcally, ſcauld, beggerly, lowſie, pragging Knaue Piſtoll, which you and your ſelfe, and all the World, know to be no petter then a fellow, looke you now, of no merits: hee is come to me, and prings me pread and ſault yeſterday, looke you, and bid me eate my Leeke: it was in a place where I could not breed no contention with him; but I will be ſo bold as to weare it in my Cap till I ſee him once againe, and then I will tell him a little piece of my deſires.
Why heere hee comes, ſwelling like a Turky
'Tis no matter for his ſwellings, nor his TurkyPistoll: you ſcuruie low
Ha, art thou bedlam? doeſt thou thirſt, baſe Troian, to haue me fold vp Parcas fatall Web? Hence; I am qualmiſh at the ſmell of Leeke.
I peſeech you heartily, ſcuruie lowſie Knaue, at my deſires, and my requeſts, and my petitions, to eate, looke you, this Leeke; becauſe, looke you, you doe not loue it, nor your affections, and your appetites and your diſgeſtions doo's not agree with it, I would deſire you to eate it.
Not for Cadwallader and all his Goats.
Baſe Troian, thou ſhalt dye.
You ſay very true, ſcauld Knaue, when Gods will is: I will deſire you to liue in the meane time, and eate your Victuals: come, there is ſawce for it. You call'd me yeſterday Mountaine-Squier, but I will make
Enough Captaine, you haue aſtoniſht him.
I ſay, I will make him eate ſome part of my leeke, or I will peate his pate foure dayes: bite I pray you, it is good for your greene wound, and your ploodie Coxe
Muſt I bite.
Yes certainly, and out of doubt and out of que
By this Leeke, I will moſt horribly reuenge I eate and eate I ſweare.
Eate I pray you, will you haue ſome more ſauce to your Leeke: there is not enough Leeke to ſweare by.
Qu
Much good do you ſcald knaue, heartily. Nay
Good.
I, Leekes is good: hold you, there is a groat to heale your pate.
Me a groat?
Yes verily, and in truth you ſhall take it, or I haue another Leeke in my pocket, which you ſhall eate.
I take thy groat in earneſt of reuenge.
If I owe you any thing, I will pay you in Cud
All hell ſhall ſtirre for this.
Go, go, you are a counterfeit cowardly Knaue, will you mocke at an ancient Tradition began vppon an honourable reſpect, and worne as a memorable Trophee of predeceaſed valor, and dare not auouch in your deeds any of your words. I haue ſeene you gleeking & galling at this Gentleman twice or thrice. You thought, becauſe he could not ſpeake Engliſh in the natiue garb, he could not therefore handle an Engliſh Cudgell: you finde it o
Doeth fortune play the huſwife with me now? Newes haue I that my Doll is dead i' th Spittle of a mala
To cry A men to that, thus we appeare.
You Engliſh Princes all, I doe ſalute you.
She hath good leaue.
Your Maieſtie ſhall mock at me, I cannot ſpeake your England.
O faire Katherine, if you will loue me ſoundly with your French heart, I will be glad to heare you conKate?
Pardonne moy, I cannot tell wat is like me.
An Angell is like you Kate, and you are like an Angell.
Que dit il que Ie ſuis ſemblable a les Anges?
Ouy verayment (ſauf voſtre Grace) ainſi dit il.
I ſaid ſo, deare Katherine, and I muſt not bluſh to affirme it.
O bon Dieu, les langues des hommes ſont plein de tromperies.
What ſayes ſhe, faire one? that the tongues of men are full of deceits?
Ouy, dat de tongeus of de mans is be full of de
The Princeſſe is the better Engliſh-woman: yfaith Kate, my wooing is fit for thy vnderſtanding, I am glad thou canſt ſpeake no better Engliſh, for if thou could'ſt, thou would'ſt finde me ſuch a plaine King, that thou wouldſt thinke, I had ſold my Farme to buy my Crowne. I know no wayes to mince it in loue, but di
Sauf voſtre honeur, me vnderſtand well.
Marry, if you would put me to Verſes, or to Dance for your ſake, Kate, why you vndid me: for the one I haue neither words nor meaſure; and for the other, I haue no ſtrength in meaſure, yet a reaſonable meaſure in ſtrength. If I could winne a Lady at Leape-frogge, or by vawting into my Saddle, with my Armour on my backe; vnder the correction of bragging: be it ſpoken. I ſhould quickly leape into a Wife: Or if I might buffet for my Loue, or bound my Horſe for her fauours, I could lay on like a Butcher, and ſit like a Iack an Apes, neuer off. But before God Kate, I cannot looke greenely, nor gaſpe out my eloquence, nor I haue no cunning in proteſtation; onely downe-right Oathes, which I neuer vſe till vrg'd, nor neuer breake for vrging. If thou canſt loue a fellow of this temper, Kate, whoſe face is not worth Sunne-burKate, take a fellow of plaine and vncoyned Conſtancie, for he perforce muſt do thee right, becauſe he hath not the gift to wooe in other places: for theſe fellowes of infinit tongue, that can ryme themſelues into Ladyes ſauours, they doe alwayes reaſon themſelues out againe. What? a ſpeaker is but a prater, a Ryme is but a Ballad; a good Legge will fall, a ſtrait Backe will ſtoope, a blacke Beard will turne white, a curl'd Pate will grow bald, a faire Face will wither, a full Eye will wax hollow: but a good Heart, Kate, is the Sunne and the Moone, or rather the Sunne, and not the Moone; for it ſhines bright, and neuer changes, but keepes his courſe truly. If thou would haue ſuch a one, take me? and take me; take a Souldier: take a Souldier; take a King. And what ſay'ſt thou then to my Loue? ſpeake my faire, and fairely, I pray thee.
Is it poſſible dat I ſould loue de ennemie of Fraunce?
No, it is not poſſible you ſhould loue the EneKate; but in louing me, you ſhould loue the Friend of France: for I loue France ſo well, that I will not part with a Village of it; I will haue it all mine: and Kate, when France is mine, and I am yours; then yours is France, and you are mine.
I cannot tell wat is dat.
No, Kate? I will tell thee in French, which I am ſure will hang vpon my tongue, like a new-married Wife about her Husbands Necke, hardly to be ſhooke off; Ie quand ſur le poſſeſſion de Fraunce, & quand vous aues le poſſeſſion de moy. (Let mee ſee, what then? Saint
Sauf voſtre honeur, le Francois ques vous parleis, il & melieus que l' Anglois le quel Ie parle.
No faith is't not, Kate: but thy ſpeaking of my Tongue, and I thine, moſt truely falſely, muſt needes be graunted to be much at one. But Kate, doo'ſt thou vnderſtand thus much Engliſh? Canſt thou loue mee?
I cannot tell.
Can any of your Neighbours tell, Kate? Ile aske them. Come, I know thou loueſt me: and at night, when you come into your Cloſet, you'le queſtion this Gentlewoman about me; and I know, Kate, you will to her diſprayſe thoſe parts in me, that you loue with your heart: but good Kate, mocke me mercifully, the rather gentle Princeſſe, becauſe I loue thee cruelly. If euer thou beeſt mine, Kate, as I haue a ſauing Faith within me tells me thou ſhalt; I get thee with skambling, and thou muſt therefore needes proue a good Souldier-breeder: Shall not thou and I, betweene Saint Dennis and Saint George, compound a Boy, halfe French halfe Engliſh,
I doe not know dat.
No: 'tis hereafter to know, but now to promiſe: doe but now promiſe Kate, you will endeauour for your French part of ſuch a Boy; and for my Engliſh moytie, take the Word of a King, and a Batcheler. How anſwer you. La plus belle Katherine du monde mon treſcher & deuin deeſſe.
Your Maieſtee aue fauſe Frenche enough to deceiue de moſt ſage Damoiſcil dat is en Fraunce.
Now fye vpon my falſe French: by mine Honor in true Engliſh, I loue thee Kate; by which Honor, I dare not ſweare thou loueſt me, yet my blood begins to flatKate, the elKatherine, will you haue me? Put off your Maiden Bluſhes, auouch the Thoughts of your Heart with the Lookes of an Empreſſe, take me by the Hand, and ſay,
Dat is as it ſhall pleaſe de Roy mon pere.
Nay, it will pleaſe him well, Kate; it ſhall pleaſe him, Kate.
Den it fall alſo content me.
Vpon that I kiſſe your Hand, and I call you my Queene.
Laiſſe mon Seigneur, laiſſe, laiſſe, may foy: Ie ne veus point que vous abbaiſſe voſtre grandeus, en baiſant le main d'une nostre Seigneur indignie ſeruiteur excuſe moy. Ie vous ſupplie mon treſ-puiſſant Seigneur.
Then I will kiſſe your Lippes, Kate.
Les Dames & Damoiſels pour eſtre baiſee deuant leur nopceſe il net pas le coſtume de Fraunce.
Madame, my Interpreter, what ſayes ſhee?
Dat it is not be de faſhon pour le Ladies of Fraunce; I cannot tell wat is buiſſe en Angliſh.
To kiſſe.
Your Maieſtee entendre bettre que moy.
It is not a faſhion for the Maids in Fraunce to kiſſe before they are marryed, would ſhe ſay?
Ouy verayment.
O Kate, nice Cuſtomes curſie to great Kings. Deare Kate, you and I cannot bee confin'd within the weake Lyſt of a Countreyes faſhion: wee are the maKate; and the libertie that followes our Places, ſtoppes the mouth of all finde-faults, as I will doe yours, for vpholding the nice faſhion of your Countrey, in denying me a Kiſſe: therefore patiently, and yeelding. You haue Witch-craft in your Lippes, Kate: there is more eloquence in a Sugar touch of them, then in the Tongues of the French Councell; and they ſhould ſooner perſwade Harry of England, then a generall Petition of Monarchs. Heere comes your Father.
God ſaue your Maieſtie, my Royall Couſin, teach you our Princeſſe Engliſh?
I would haue her learne, my faire Couſin, how perfectly I loue her, and that is good Engliſh.
Is ſhee not apt?
Our Tongue is rough, Coze, and my Conditi
Pardon the frankneſſe of my mirth, if I anſwer you for that. If you would coniure in her, you muſt make a Circle: if coniure vp Loue in her in his true likeneſſe, hee muſt appeare naked, and blinde. Can you blame her then, being a Maid, yet ros'd ouer with the Virgin Crimſon of Modeſtie, if ſhee deny the apparance of a naked blinde Boy in her naked ſeeing ſelfe? It were (my Lord) a hard Condition for a Maid to conſigne to.
Yet they doe winke and yeeld, as Loue is blind and enforces.
They are then excus'd, my Lord, when they ſee not what they doe.
Then good my Lord, teach your Couſin to conſent winking.
I will winke on her to conſent, my Lord, if you will teach her to know my meaning: for Maides well Summer'd, and warme kept, are like Flyes at Bartholo
This Morall tyes me ouer to Time, and a hot Summer; and ſo I ſhall catch the Flye, your Couſin, in the latter end, and ſhee muſt be blinde to.
As Loue is my Lord, before it loues.
It is ſo: and you may, ſome of you, thanke Loue for my blindneſſe, who cannot ſee many a faire French Citie for one faire French Maid that ſtands in my way.
Yes my Lord, you ſee them perſpec
Shall Kate be my Wife?
So pleaſe you.
I am content, ſo the Maiden Cities you talke of, may wait on her: ſo the Maid that ſtood in the way for my Wiſh, ſhall ſhew me the way to my Will.
Wee haue conſented to all tearmes of rea
Is't ſo, my Lords of England?
Where your Maieſtie demands, That the King of France hauing any occaſion to write for matter of Graunt, ſhall name your Highneſſe in this forme, and with this addition, in French: Noſtre treſcher filz Henry Roy d' Angleterre Heretere de Fraunce:and thus in Latine;Praeclariſſimus Filius noſter Henricus Rex Angliae & Heres Franciae.
Amen.
Amen.
How were they loſt? what trecherie was vs'd?
What? wherein Talbot ouercame, is't ſo?
Be it ſo.
Where's the Prince Dolphin? I haue newes for him.
Baſtard of Orleance, thrice welcome to vs.
Faire Maid, is't thou wilt doe theſe won
She takes vpon her brauely at firſt daſh.
Then come a Gods name, I feare no woman.
And while I liue, Ile ne're flye from a man.
Chriſts Mother helpes me, elſe I were too weake.
Meane time looke gracious on thy proſtrate Thrall.
My Lord me thinkes is very long in talke.
Shall wee diſturbe him, ſince hee keepes no meane?
What ſhee ſayes, Ile confirme: wee'le fight it out.
Leaue off delayes, and let vs rayſe the Siege.
Who's there, that knocks ſo imperiouſly?
It is the Noble Duke of Gloſter.
Who ere he be, you may not be let in.
Villaines, anſwer you ſo the Lord Protector?
What noyſe is this? what Traytors haue wee here?
How now ambitious Vmpheir, what meanes this?
Piel'd Prieſt, doo'ſt thou command me to be ſhut out?
Doe what thou dar'ſt, I beard thee to thy face.
Gloſter, thou wilt anſwere this before the Pope.
I will not anſwer thee with words, but blowes.
All manner of men, aſſembled here in Armes this day, againſt Gods Peace and the Kings, wee charge and command you, in his Highneſſe Name, to repayre to your ſeuerall dwelling places, and not to weare, handle, or vſe any Sword, Wea pon, or Dagger hence-forward, vpon paine of death.
Maior farewell: thou doo'ſt but what thou may'ſt.
Yet tell'ſt thou not, how thou wert enter
I thinke at the North Gate, for there ſtands Lords.
And
O Lord haue mercy on vs, wretched ſinners.
O Lord haue mercy on me, wofull man.
Come, come, 'tis onely I that muſt diſgrace thee.
A Maid, they ſay.
A Maid? And be ſo martiall?
Aſcend braue Talbot, we will follow thee.
Agreed; Ile to yond corner.
And I to this.
Arme, arme, the enemy doth make aſſault.
How now my Lords? What all vnreadie ſo?
Vnready? I and glad we ſcap'd ſo well.
I thinke this Talbot be a Fiend of Hell.
If not of Hell, the Heauens ſure fauour him.
Here commeth Charles, I maruell how he ſped?
Tut, holy Ioane was his defenſiue Guard.
Mine was ſecure.
And ſo was mine, my Lord.
Here is the Talbot, who would ſpeak with him?
I doe my Lord, and meane accordingly.
Madame, I will.
And he is welcome: what? is this the man?
Madame, it is.
If thou be he, then art thou Priſoner.
Priſoner? to whom?
Ha, ha, ha.
Why? art not thou the man?
I am indeede.
Then haue I ſubſtance too.
Iudge you, my Lord of Warwicke, then be
And I.
Well, well, come on, who elſe?
Now Somerſet, where is your argument?
Hath not thy Roſe a Canker, Somerſet?
Hath not thy Roſe a Thorne, Plantagenet?
Turne not thy ſcornes this way, Plantagenet.
Prowd Poole, I will, and ſcorne both him and thee.
Ile turne my part thereof into thy throat.
Haue with thee Poole: Farwell ambitious Richard.
How I am brau'd, and muſt perforce endure it?
In your behalfe ſtill will I weare the ſame.
And ſo will I.
My Lord, your louing Nephew now is come.
Richard Plantagenet, my friend, is he come?
Of which, my Lord, your Honor is the laſt.
Am I not Protector, ſawcie Prieſt?
And am not I a Prelate of the Church?
Vnreuerent Gloceſter.
Rome ſhall remedie this.
Yes, when his holy State is toucht ſo neere.
What tumult's this?
Nay, if we be forbidden Stones, wee'le fall to it with our Teeth.
Doe what ye dare, we are as reſolute.
He ſhall ſubmit, or I will neuer yeeld.
Here Wincheſter, I offer thee my Hand.
So helpe me God, as I intend it not.
Content, Ile to the Surgeons.
And ſo will I.
And I will ſee what Phyſick the Tauerne af
As will the reſt, ſo willeth Wincheſter.
Welcome high Prince, the mighty Duke of Yorke.
Periſh baſe Prince, ignoble Duke of Yorke.
Your Ships alreadie are in readineſſe.
Che la.
Enter, goe in, the Market Bell is rung.
Now Roan, Ile ſhake thy Bulwarkes to the ground.
Your Grace may ſtarue (perhaps) before that time.
Oh let no words, but deedes, reuenge this Trea
Dare yee come forth, and meet vs in the field?
Seignior no.
My Vowes are equall partners with thy Vowes.
Couragious Bedford, let vs now perſwade you.
Whither away Sir Iohn Falſtaffe, in ſuch haſte?
What? will you flye, and leaue Lord Talbot?
I, all the Talbots in the World, to ſaue my life.
Cowardly Knight, ill fortune follow thee.
What wills Lord Talbot, pleaſeth Burgonie.
A Parley with the Duke of Burgonie.
Who craues a Parley with the Burgonie?
The Princely Charles of France, thy Countrey-man.
What ſay'ſt thou Charles? for I am marching hence.
Speake Pucell, and enchaunt him with thy words.
Speake on, but be not ouer-tedious.
Done like a Frenchman: turne and turne a
Welcome braue Duke, thy friendſhip makes vs freſh.
And doth beget new Courage in our Breaſts.
Yes, if it pleaſe your Maieſtie, my Liege
Sirrha, thy Lord I honour as he is.
Why, what is he? as good a man as Yorke.
Hearke ye: not ſo: in witneſſe take ye that.
Lord Biſhop ſet the Crowne vpon his head.
God ſaue King Henry of that name the ſixt.
What? doth my Vnckle Burgundy reuolt?
He doth my Lord, and is become your foe.
Is that the worſt this Letter doth containe?
It is the worſt, and all (my Lord) he writes.
Grant me the Combate, gracious Soueraigne.
And me (my Lord) grant me the Combate too.
This is my Seruant, heare him Noble Prince.
And this is mine (ſweet Henry) fauour him.
With him (my Lord) for he hath done me wrong.
And I with him, for he hath done me wrong.
Will not this malice Somerſet be left?
There is my pledge, accept it Somerſet.
Nay, let it reſt where it began at firſt.
Confirme it ſo, mine honourable Lord.
O ſend ſome ſuccour to the diſtreſt Lord.
How now Sir William, whether were you ſent?
Yorke ſet him on, Yorke ſhould haue ſent him ayde.
If he be dead, braue Talbot then adieu.
His Fame liues in the world. His Shame in you.
Flye, to reuenge my death, if I be ſlaine.
He that flyes ſo, will ne're returne againe.
If we both ſtay, we both are ſure to dye.
Shall all thy Mothers hopes lye in one Tombe?
I rather then Ile ſhame my Mothers Wombe,
Vpon my Bleſſing I command thee goe.
To fight I will, but not to flye the Foe.
Part of thy Father may be ſau'd in thee.
No part of him, but will be ſhame in mee.
Thou neuer hadſt Renowne, nor canſt not loſe it.
Yes, your renowned Name: ſhall flight abuſe it?
Thy Fathers charge ſhal cleare thee from yt ſtaine.
O my deare Lord, loe where your Sonne is borne.
On what ſubmiſſiue meſſage art thou ſent?
Go take their bodies hence.
How doth your Grace affect their motion?
I will attend vpon your Lordſhips leyſure.
What tidings ſend our Scouts? I prethee ſpeak.
Then on my Lords, and France be fortunate.
Chang'd to a worſer ſhape thou canſt not be:
Fell banning Hagge, Inchantreſſe hold thy tongue.
I prethee giue me leaue to curſe awhile.
Curſe Miſcreant, when thou comſt to the ſtake
Why ſpeak'ſt thou not? What ranſom muſt I pay?
Wilt thou accept of ranſome, yea or no?
I were beſt to leaue him, for he will not heare.
There all is marr'd: there lies a cooling card.
He talkes at randon: ſure the man is mad.
And yet a diſpenſation may bee had.
And yet I would that you would anſwer me:
He talkes of wood: It is ſome Carpenter.
Heare ye Captaine? Are you not at leyſure?
Lady, vouchſafe to liſten what I ſay.
Sweet Madam, giue me hearing in a cauſe.
Tuſh, women haue bene captiuate ere now.
Lady, wherefore talke you ſo?
I cry you mercy, 'tis but Quid for Quo.
Why what concernes his freedome vnto mee?
What?
His loue.
I am vnworthy to be Henries wife.
And if my Father pleaſe, I am content.
To whom?
To me.
Speakes Suffolke as he thinkes?
And heere I will expect thy comming.
And this withall.
Bring forth that Sorcereſſe condemn'd to burne.
Graceleſſe, wilt thou deny thy Parentage?
I, I: away with her to execution.
Now heauen forfend, the holy Maid with child?
A married man, that's moſt intollerable.
It's ſigne ſhe hath beene liberall and free.
I greefe I feare me, both at firſt and laſt.
Long liue Qu. Margaret, Englands happines.
We thanke you all.
Inprimis, It is agreed betweene the French K. Charles, and William de la Pole Marqueſſe of Suffolke, Ambaſſador for Henry King of England, That the ſaid Henry ſhal eſpouſe the Lady Margaret, daughter vnto Reignier King of Naples, Sicillia, and Ieruſalem, and Crowne her Queene of England, ere the thirtieth of May next enſuing.
Item, That the Dutchy of Aniou, and the County of Main, ſhall be releaſed and deliuered to the King her father.
Vnkle, how now?
Vnckle of Wincheſter, I pray read on.
Item, It is further agreed betweene them, That the Dutcheſſe of Aniou and Maine, ſhall be releaſed and deliuered ouer to the King her Father, and ſhee ſent ouer of the King of Englands owne proper Coſt and Charges, without hauing any Dowry.
Nay be not angry, I am pleas'd againe.
I go. Come Nel thou wilt ride with vs?
Ieſus preſerue your Royall Maieſty.
What ſaiſt thou? Maieſty: I am but Grace.
My Maſters, let's ſtand cloſe, my Lord Pro
Marry the Lord protect him, for hee's a good man, Ieſu bleſſe him.
Here a comes me thinkes, and the Queene with him: Ile be the firſt ſure.
Come backe foole, this is the Duke of Suffolk, and not my Lord Protector.
How now fellow: would'ſt any thing with me?
I pray my Lord pardon me, I tooke ye for my Lord Protector.
To my Lord Protector? Are your Supplica
Mine is, and't pleaſe your Grace, againſt Iohn Goodman, my Lord Cardinals Man, for keeping my Houſe, and Lands, and Wife and all, from me.
Thy Wife too? that's ſome Wrong indeede. What's yours? What's heere? Againſt the Duke of Suffolke, for encloſing the Commons of Melforde. How now, Sir Knaue?
Alas Sir, I am but a poore Petitioner of our whole Towneſhip.
Againſt my Maſter Thomas Horner, for ſaying, That the Duke of Yorke was rightfull Heire to the Crowne.
What ſay'ſt thou? Did the Duke of Yorke ſay, hee was rightfull Heire to the Crowne?
That my Miſtreſſe was? No forſooth: my Maſter ſaid, That he was, and that the King was an Vſurper.
Who is there?
Take this fellow in, and ſend for his Maſter with a Purſe
Come, let's be gone.
Ambitious Warwicke, let thy betters ſpeake.
The Cardinall's not my better in the field.
All in this preſence are thy betters, Warwicke.
Warwicke may liue to be the beſt of all.
Becauſe the King forſooth will haue it ſo.
Sweet Aunt be quiet, 'twas againſt her will.
Peace head-ſtrong Warwicke.
Image of Pride, why ſhould I hold my peace?
Doth any one accuſe Yorke for a Traytor?
What mean'ſt thou, Suffolke? tell me, what are theſe?
Say man, were theſe thy words?
And't ſhall pleaſe your Maieſtie, I neuer ſayd nor thought any ſuch matter: God is my witneſſe, I am falſely accus'd by the Villaine.
By theſe tenne bones, my Lords, hee did ſpeake them to me in the Garret one Night, as wee were ſcow
Alas, my Lord, hang me if euer I ſpake the words: my accuſer is my Prentice, and when I did cor
Vnckle, what ſhall we ſay to this in law?
I humbly thanke your Royall Maieſtie.
And I accept the Combat willingly.
Alas, my Lord, I cannot fight; for Gods ſake pitty my caſe: the ſpight of man preuayleth againſt me. O Lord haue mercy vpon me, I ſhall neuer be able to fight a blow: O Lord my heart.
Sirrha, or you muſt fight, or elſe be hang'd.
Away with them to Priſon: and the day of Combat, ſhall be the laſt of the next moneth. Come Somerſet, wee'le ſee thee ſent away.
Come my Maſters, the Ducheſſe I tell you ex
Maſter Hume, we are therefore prouided: will her Ladyſhip behold and heare our Exorciſmes?
I, what elſe? feare you not her courage.
I haue heard her reported to be a Woman of an inuincible ſpirit: but it ſhall be conuenient, Maſter Hume, that you be by her aloft, while wee be buſie be
Mother Iordan, be you proſtrate, and grouell on the Earth; Iohn Southwell reade you, and let vs to our worke.
Well ſaid my Maſters, and welcome all: To this geere, the ſooner the better.
Ad ſum.
Aske what thou wilt; that I had ſayd, and done.
Firſt of the King: What ſhall of him be
What fates await the Duke of Suffolke?
By Water ſhall he dye, and take his end.
What ſhall befall the Duke of Somerſet?
I thought as much, hee would be aboue the Clouds.
The Treaſurie of euerlaſting Ioy.
As who, my Lord?
Why Suffolke, England knowes thine inſolence.
And thy Ambition, Gloſter.
Faith holy Vnckle, would't were come to that.
Marry, when thou dar'ſt.
How now, my Lords?
Why how now, Vnckle Gloſter?
Medice te
Protector ſee to't well, protect your ſelfe.
A Miracle, a Miracle.
Come to the King, and tell him what Mi
Borne blinde, and't pleaſe your Grace.
I indeede was he.
What Woman is this?
His Wife, and't like your Worſhip.
Hadſt thou been his Mother, thou could'ſt haue better told.
Where wert thou borne?
At Barwick in the North, and't like your Grace.
What, art thou lame?
I, God Almightie helpe me.
How cam'ſt thou ſo?
A fall off of a Tree.
A Plum-tree, Maſter.
How long haſt thou beene blinde?
O borne ſo, Maſter.
What, and would'ſt climbe a Tree?
But that in all my life, when I was a youth.
Too true, and bought his climbing very deare.
'Maſſe, thou lou'dſt Plummes well, that would'ſt venture ſo.
Alas, good Maſter, my Wife deſired ſome Damſons, and made me climbe, with danger of my Life.
Yes Maſter, cleare as day, I thanke God and Saint Albones.
Say'ſt thou me ſo: what Colour is this Cloake of?
Red Maſter, Red as Blood.
Why that's well ſaid: What Colour is my Gowne of?
Black forſooth, Coale-Black, as Iet.
And yet I thinke, Iet did he neuer ſee.
But Cloakes and Gownes, before this day, a many.
Neuer before this day, in all his life.
Tell me Sirrha, what's my Name?
Alas Maſter, I know not.
What's his Name?
I know not.
Nor his?
No indeede, Maſter.
What's thine owne Name?
Saunder Simpcoxe, and if it pleaſe you, Maſter.
O Maſter, that you could?
Yes, my Lord, if it pleaſe your Grace.
Then ſend for one preſently.
Sirrha, goe fetch the Beadle hither ſtraight.
Now fetch me a Stoole hither by and by.
Now Sirrha, if you meane to ſaue your ſelfe from Whip
Alas Maſter, what ſhall I doe? I am not able to ſtand.
O God, ſeeſt thou this, and beareſt ſo long?
It made me laugh, to ſee the Villaine runne.
Follow the Knaue, and take this Drab away.
Alas Sir, we did it for pure need.
Duke Humfrey ha's done a Miracle to day.
True: made the Lame to leape and flye away.
What Tidings with our Couſin Buckingham?
My Lord, I long to heare it at full.
But William of Hatfield dyed without an Heire.
Long liue our Soueraigne Richard, Englands King.
My Lord, breake we off; we know your minde at full.
Welcome is Baniſhment, welcome were my Death.
Here Neighbour Horner, I drinke to you in a Cup of Sack; and feare not Neighbor, you ſhall doe well enough.
And here Neighbour, here's a Cuppe of Charneco.
And here's a Pot of good Double-Beere Neighbor: drinke, and feare not your Man.
Let it come yfaith, and Ile pledge you all, and a figge for Peter.
Here Peter, I drinke to thee, and be not a
I thanke you all: drinke, and pray for me, I pray you, for I thinke I haue taken my laſt Draught in this World. Here Robin, and if I dye, I giue thee my Aporne; and Will, thou ſhalt haue my Hammer: and here Tom, take all the Money that I haue. O Lord bleſſe me. I pray God, for I am neuer able to deale with my Maſter, hee hath learnt ſo much fence already.
Peter forſooth.
Peter? what more?
Thumpe.
Thumpe? Then ſee thou thumpe thy Maſter well.
Maſters, I am come hither as it were vpon my Mans inſtigation, to proue him a Knaue, and my ſelfe an honeſt man: and touching the Duke of Yorke, I will take my death, I neuer meant him any ill, nor the King, nor the Queene: and therefore Peter haue at thee with a downe-right blow.
Hold Peter, hold, I confeſſe, I confeſſe Trea
Take away his Weapon: Fellow thanke God, and the good Wine in thy Maſters way.
O God, haue I ouercome mine Enemies in this preſence? O Peter, thou haſt preuayl'd in right.
Tenne, my Lord.
So pleaſe your Grace, wee'le take her from the Sherife.
No, ſtirre not for your liues, let her paſſe by.
Be patient, gentle Nell, forget this griefe.
Muſt you, Sir Iohn, protect my Lady here?
So am I giuen in charge, may't pleaſe your Grace.
What, gone my Lord, and bid me not fare
Witneſſe my teares, I cannot ſtay to ſpeake.
It is my Office, and Madame pardon me.
All health vnto my gracious Soueraigne.
Welcome Lord Somerſet: What Newes from France?
Cold Newes, Lord Somerſet: but Gods will be done.
It ſerues you well, my Lord, to ſay ſo much.
I ſay no more then truth, ſo helpe me God.
But I can giue the loſer leaue to chide.
Sirs, take away the Duke, and guard him ſure.
What, will your Highneſſe leaue the Parlia
So that by this, you would not haue him dye.
Ah Yorke, no man aliue, ſo faine as I.
So the poore Chicken ſhould be ſure of death.
Thrice Noble Suffolke, 'tis reſolutely ſpoke.
Here is my Hand, the deed is worthy doing.
And ſo ſay I.
What, worſe then naught? nay, then a ſhame take all.
And in the number, thee, that wiſheſt ſhame.
I will, my Lord, ſo pleaſe his Maieſtie.
Ile ſee it truly done, my Lord of Yorke.
Here comes my Lord.
Now Sirs, haue you diſpatcht this thing?
I, my good Lord, hee's dead.
'Tis, my good Lord.
Away, be gone.
Ile call him preſently, my Noble Lord.
I thanke thee Nell, theſe wordes content mee much.
Dead in his Bed, my Lord: Gloſter is dead.
Marry God forfend.
How fares my Lord? Helpe Lords, the King is dead.
Rere vp his Body, wring him by the Noſe.
Runne, goe, helpe, helpe: Oh Henry ope thine eyes.
He doth reuiue againe, Madame be patient.
Oh Heauenly God.
How fares my gracious Lord?
Comfort my Soueraigne, gracious Henry com
Ah woe is me for Gloſter, wretched man.
Come hither gracious Soueraigne, view this body.
What dares not Warwick, if falſe Suffolke dare him?
What noyſe is this?
An anſwer from the King, my Lord of Salisbury.
An anſwer from the King, or wee will all breake in.
Oh Henry, let me pleade for gentle Suffolke.
Whether goes Vaux ſo faſt? What newes I prethee?
I go.
And take my heart with thee.
This way for me.
How fare's my Lord? Speake Beauford to thy Soueraigne.
Beauford, it is thy Soueraigne ſpeakes to thee.
See how the pangs of death do make him grin.
Diſturbe him not, let him paſſe peaceably.
So bad a death, argues a monſtrous life.
What is my ranſome Maſter, let me know.
A thouſand Crownes, or elſe lay down your head
And ſo much ſhall you giue, or oft goes yours.
Ile giue it ſir, and therefore ſpare my life.
And ſo will I, and write home for it ſtraight.
Be not ſo raſh, take ranſome, let him liue.
The Duke of Suffolke, muffled vp in ragges?
I, but theſe ragges are no part of the Duke.
Speak Captaine, ſhall I ſtab the forlorn Swain.
Firſt let my words ſtab him, as he hath me.
Baſe ſlaue, thy words are blunt, and ſo art thou.
Thou dar'ſt not for thy owne.
Water: W. Come Suffolke, I muſt waft thee to thy death.
Pine gelidus timor occupat artus, it is thee I feare.
My gracious Lord intreat him, ſpeak him fair.
Come and get thee a ſword, though made of a Lath, they haue bene vp theſe two dayes.
They haue the more neede to ſleepe now then.
I tell thee, Iacke Cade the Cloathier, meanes to dreſſe the Common-wealth and turne it, and ſet a new nap vpon it.
So he had need, for 'tis thred-bare. Well, I ſay, it was neuer merrie world in England, ſince Gentlemen came vp.
O miſerable Age: Vertue is not regarded in Handy-crafts men.
The Nobilitie thinke ſcorne to goe in Leather Aprons.
Nay more, the Kings Councell are no good Workemen.
True: and yet it is ſaid, Labour in thy Vocati
Thou haſt hit it: for there's no better ſigne of a braue minde, then a hard hand.
I ſee them, I ſee them: There's Beſts Sonne, the Tanner of Wingham.
Hee ſhall haue the skinnes of our enemies, to make Dogges Leather of.
And Dicke the Butcher.
Then is ſin ſtrucke downe like an Oxe, and ini
And Smith the Weauer.
Argo, their thred of life is ſpun.
Come, come, let's fall in with them.
Wee Iohn Cade, ſo tearm'd of our ſuppoſed Fa
Or rather of ſtealing a Cade of Herrings.
For our enemies ſhall faile before vs, inſpired with the ſpirit of putting down Kings and Princes. Com
Silence.
My Father was a Mortimer.
He was an honeſt man, and a good Bricklayer.
My mother a Plantagenet.
I knew her well, ſhe was a Midwife.
My wife deſcended of the Lacies.
She was indeed a Pedlers daughter, & ſold many Laces.
But now of late, not able to trauell with her furr'd Packe, ſhe waſhes buckes here at home.
Therefore am I of an honorable houſe.
I by my faith, the field is honourable, and there was he borne, vnder a hedge: for his Father had neuer a houſe but the Cage.
Valiant I am.
A muſt needs, for beggery is valiant.
I am able to endure much.
No queſtion of that: for I haue ſeene him whipt three Market dayes together.
I feare neither ſword, nor fire.
He neede not feare the ſword, for his Coate is of proofe.
But me thinks he ſhould ſtand in feare of fire, be
Be braue then, for your Captaine is Braue, and Vowes Reformation. There ſhall be in England, ſeuen halfe peny Loaues ſold for a peny: the three hoop'd pot, ſhall haue ten hoopes, and I wil make it Fellony to drink ſmall Beere. All the Realme ſhall be in Common, and in Cheapſide ſhall my Palfrey go to graſſe: and when I am King, as King I will be.
God ſaue your Maieſty.
I thanke you good people. There ſhall bee no mony, all ſhall eate and drinke on my ſcore, and I will apparrell them all in one Liuery, that they may agree like Brothers, and worſhip me their Lord.
The firſt thing we do, let's kill all the Lawyers.
Nay, that I meane to do. Is not this a lamenta
The Clearke of Chartam: hee can write and reade, and caſt accompt.
O monſtrous.
We tooke him ſetting of boyes Copies.
Here's a Villaine.
Ha's a Booke in his pocket with red Letters in't
Nay then he is a Coniurer.
Nay, he can make Obligations, and write Court hand.
I am ſorry for't: The man is a proper man of mine Honour: vnleſſe I finde him guilty, he ſhall not die. Come hither ſirrah, I muſt examine thee: What is thy name?
Emanuell.
They vſe to writ it on the top of Letters: 'Twill go hard with you.
Let me alone: Doſt thou vſe to write thy name? Or haſt thou a marke to thy ſelfe, like a honeſt plain dea
Sir I thanke God, I haue bin ſo well brought vp, that I can write my name.
He hath confeſt: away with him: he's a Villaine and a Traitor.
Away with him I ſay: Hang him with his Pen and Inke-horne about his necke.
Where's our Generall?
Heere I am thou particular fellow.
Fly, fly, fly, Sir Humfrey Stafford and his brother are hard by, with the Kings Forces.
Stand villaine, ſtand, or Ile fell thee downe: he ſhall be encountred with a man as good as himſelfe. He is but a Knight, is a?
No.
To equall him I will make my ſelfe a knight preIohn Mortimer. Now haue at him.
And Adam was a Gardiner.
And what of that?
Marry, this Edmund Mortimer Earle of March, married the Duke of Clarence daughter, did he not?
I ſir.
By her he had two children at one birth.
That's falſe.
Nay, 'tis too true, therefore he ſhall be King.
Sir, he made a Chimney in my Fathers houſe, & the brickes are aliue at this day to teſtifie it: therefore deny it not.
And will you credit this baſe Drudges Wordes, that ſpeakes he knowes not what.
I marry will we: therefore get ye gone.
Iacke Cade, the D. of York hath taught you this.
He lyes, for I inuented it my ſelfe. Go too SirHenry the fift, (in whoſe time, boyes went to Span-counter for French Crownes) I am content he ſhall raigne, but Ile be Protector ouer him:
And furthermore, wee'l haue the Lord Sayes head, for ſelling the Dukedome of Maine.
And good reaſon: for thereby is England main'd And faine to go with a ſtaffe, but that my puiſſance holds it vp. Fellow-Kings, I tell you, that that Lord Say hath gelded the Commonwealth, and made it an Eunuch: & more then that, he can ſpeake French, and therefore hee is a Traitor.
O groſſe and miſerable ignorance.
Nay anſwer if you can: The Frenchmen are our enemies: go too then, I ask but this: Can he that ſpeaks with the tongue of an enemy, be a good Councellour, or no?
No, no, and therefore wee'l haue his head.
They are all in order, and march toward vs.
But then are we in order, when we are moſt out of order. Come, march forward.
Where's Dicke, the Butcher of Aſhford?
Heere ſir.
They fell before thee like Sheepe and Oxen, & thou behaued'ſt thy ſelfe, as if thou hadſt beene in thine owne Slaughter-houſe: Therfore thus will I reward thee, the Lent ſhall bee as long againe as it is, and thou ſhalt haue a Licenſe to kill for a hundred lacking one.
I deſire no more.
And to ſpeake truth, thou deſeru'ſt no leſſe. This Monument of the victory will I beare, and the bo
If we meane to thriue, and do good, breake open the Gaoles, and let out the Priſoners.
Feare not that I warrant thee. Come, let's march towards London.
What anſwer makes your Grace to the Rebells Supplication?
Lord Say, Iacke Cade hath ſworne to huae thy head.
I, but I hope your Highneſſe ſhall haue his.
No my Loue, I ſhould not mourne, but dye for thee.
How now? What newes? Why com'ſt thou in ſuch haſte?
Oh graceleſſe men: they know not what they do.
Then linger not my Lord, away, take horſe.
Come Margaret, God our hope will ſuccor vs.
My hope is gone, now Suffolke is deceaſt.
Farewell my Lord, truſt not the Kentiſh Rebels
Truſt no body for feare you betraid.
How now? Is Iacke Cade ſlaine?
Iacke Cade, Iacke Cade.
Knocke him downe there.
If this Fellow be wiſe, hee'l neuer call yee Iacke Cade more, I thinke he hath a very faire warning.
My Lord, there's an Army gathered together in Smithfield.
I haue a ſuite vnto your Lordſhip.
Bee it a Lordſhippe, thou ſhalt haue it for that word.
Onely that the Lawes of England may come out of your mouth.
Maſſe 'twill be ſore Law then, for he was thruſt in the mouth with a Speare, and 'tis not whole yet.
Nay Iohn, it wil be ſtinking Law, for his breath ſtinkes with eating toaſted cheeſe.
I haue thought vpon it, it ſhall bee ſo. Away, burne all the Records of the Realme, my mouth ſhall be the Parliament of England.
And hence-forward all things ſhall be in Com
My Lord, a prize, a prize, heeres the Lord Say, which ſold the Townes in France. He that made vs pay one and twenty Fifteenes, and one ſhilling to the pound, the laſt Subſidie.
Well, hee ſhall be beheaded for it ten times: Ah thou Say, thou Surge, nay thou Buckram Lord, now art thou within point-blanke of our Iuriſdiction Regall. What canſt thou anſwer to my Maieſty, for giuing vp of Normandie vnto Mounſieur Baſimecu, the Dolphine of France? Be it knowne vnto thee by theſe preſence, euen the preſence of Lord Mortimer, that I am the Beeſome that muſt ſweepe the Court cleane of ſuch filth as thou art: Thou haſt moſt traiterouſly corrupted the youth of the Realme, in erecting a Grammar Schoole: and where
What of that?
Marry, thou ought'ſt not to let thy horſe weare a Cloake, when honeſter men then thou go in their Hoſe and Doublets.
And worke in their ſhirt to, as my ſelfe for ex
You men of Kent.
What ſay you of Kent.
Nothing but this: 'Tis bona terra, mala gens.
Away with him, away with him, he ſpeaks La
Tut, when ſtruck'ſt thou one blow in the field?
O monſtrous Coward! What, to come behinde Folkes?
Theſe cheekes are pale for watching for your good
Giue him a box o' th' eare, and that wil make 'em red againe.
Ye ſhall haue a hempen Candle then, & the help of hatchet.
Why doſt thou quiuer man?
The Palſie, and not feare prouokes me.
Nay, he noddes at vs, as who ſhould ſay, Ile be euen with you. Ile ſee if his head will ſtand ſteddier on a pole, or no: Take him away, and behead him.
I feele remorſe in my ſelfe with his words: but Ile bridle it: he ſhall dye, and it bee but for pleading ſo well for his life. Away with him, he ha's a Familiar vnIames Cromer, and ſtrike off his head, and bring them both vppon two poles hither.
It ſhall be done.
Away with him, and do as I command ye: the proudeſt Peere in the Realme, ſhall not weare a head on his ſhoulders, vnleſſe he pay me tribute: there ſhall not a maid be married, but ſhe ſhall pay to me her Mayden-head ere they haue it: Men ſhall hold of mee in Capite. And we charge and command, that their wiues be as free as heart can wiſh, or tongue can tell.
Marry preſently.
O braue.
Vp Fiſh-ſtreete, downe Saint Magnes corner, kill and knocke downe, throw them into Thames:
God ſaue the King, God ſaue the King.
What Buckingham and Clifford are ye ſo braue? And you baſe Pezants, do ye beleeue him, will you needs be hang'd with your Pardons about your neckes? Hath my ſword therefore broke through London gates, that you ſhould leaue me at the White-heart in Southwarke. I thought ye would neuer haue giuen out theſe Armes til you had recouered your ancient Freedome. But you are all Recreants and Daſtards, and delight to liue in ſlauerie to the Nobility. Let them breake your backes with bur
Was euer Feather ſo lightly blowne too & fro, as this multitude? The name of Henry the fift, hales them to an hundred miſchiefes, and makes them leaue mee de
Health and glad tydings to your Maieſty.
God ſaue the King, God ſaue the King.
Fye on Ambitions: fie on my ſelfe, that haue a ſword, and yet am ready to famiſh. Theſe fiue daies haue I hid me in theſe Woods, and durſt not peepe out, for all the Country is laid for me: but now am I ſo hungry, that if I might haue a Leaſe of my life for a thouſand yeares, I could ſtay no longer. Wherefore on a Bricke wall haue I climb'd into this Garden, to ſee if I can eate Graſſe, or picke a Sallet another while, which is not amiſſe to coole a mans ſtomacke this hot weather: and I think this word Sallet was borne to do me good: for many a time but for a Sallet, my braine-pan had bene cleft with a brown Bill; and many a time when I haue beene dry, & brauely mar
Heere's the Lord of the ſoile come to ſeize me for a ſtray, for entering his Fee-ſimple without leaue. A Villaine, thou wilt betray me, and get a 1000. Crownes of the King by carrying my head to him, but Ile make thee eate Iron like an Oſtridge, and ſwallow my Sword like a great pin ere thou and I part.
Braue thee? I by the beſt blood that euer was broach'd, and beard thee to. Looke on mee well, I haue eate no meate theſe fiue dayes, yet come thou and thy fiue men, and if I doe not leaue you all as dead as a doore naile, I pray God I may neuer eate graſſe more.
By my Valour: the moſt compleate Champi
O I am ſlaine, Famine and no other hath ſlaine me, let ten thouſand diuelles come againſt me, and giue me but the ten meales I haue loſt, and I'de defie them all. Wither Garden, and be henceforth a burying place to all that do dwell in this houſe, becauſe the vnconquered ſoule of Cade is fled.
Iden farewell, and be proud of thy victory: Tell Kent from me, ſhe hath loſt her beſt man, and exhort all the World to be Cowards: For I that neuer feared any, am vanquiſhed by Famine, not by Valour.
Yorke, if thou meaneſt wel, I greet thee well.
Vpon thine Honor is he Priſoner?
Vpon mine Honor he is Priſoner.
Then what intends theſe Forces thou doſt bring?
I was, an't like your Maieſty.
How art thou call'd? And what is thy degree?
And here comes Clifford to deny their baile.
Health, and all happineſſe to my Lord the King.
Will you not Sonnes?
I Noble Father, if our words will ſerue.
And if words will not, then our Weapons ſhal.
Why what a brood of Traitors haue we heere?
Nay we ſhall heate you thorowly anon.
Take heede leaft by your heate you burne your ſelues:
Haſt thou not ſworne Allegeance vnto me?
I haue.
Canſt thou diſpenſe with heauen for ſuch an oath?
A ſubtle Traitor needs no Sophiſter.
Call Buckingham, and bid him arme himſelfe.
The firſt I warrant thee, if dreames proue true
Foule ſtygmaticke that's more then thou canſt tell.
If not in heauen, you'l ſurely ſup in hell.
How now my Noble Lord? What all a-foot.
Of one or both of vs the time is come.
My ſoule and bodie on the action both.
A dreadfull lay, addreſſe thee inſtantly.
La fia Corrone les eumenes.
Away my Lord, you are ſlow, for ſhame away.
Can we outrun the Heauens? Good Margaret ſtay.
Speake thou for me, and tell them what I did.
Such hope haue all the line of Iohn of Gaunt.
Thus do I hope to ſhake King Henries head.
Wee'le all aſſiſt you: he that flyes, ſhall dye:
Arm'd as we are, let's ſtay within this Houſe.
If I be not, Heauens be reueng'd on me.
The hope thereof, makes Clifford mourne in Steele.
Be patient, gentle Earle of Weſtmerland.
Well haſt thou ſpoken, Couſin be it ſo.
But when the Duke is ſlaine, they'le quickly flye.
I am thine.
For ſhame come downe, he made thee Duke of Yorke.
It was my Inheritance, as the Earledome was.
Thy Father was a Traytor to the Crowne.
Whom ſhould hee follow, but his naturall King?
True Clifford, that's Richard Duke of Yorke.
And ſhall I ſtand, and thou ſit in my Throne?
It muſt and ſhall be ſo, content thy ſelfe.
Be Duke of Lancaſter, let him be King.
Poore Clifford, how I ſcorne his worthleſſe Threats.
Talke not of France, ſith thou haſt loſt it all.
Sweet Father doe ſo, ſet it on your Head.
Sound Drummes and Trumpets, and the King will flye.
Sonnes peace.
Peace thou, and giue King Henry leaue to ſpeake.
Proue it Henry, and thou ſhalt be King.
Henry the Fourth by Conqueſt got the Crowne.
'Twas by Rebellion againſt his King.
What then?
Art thou againſt vs, Duke of Exeter?
His is the right, and therefore pardon me.
Why whiſper you, my Lords, and anſwer not?
My Conſcience tells me he is lawfull King.
All will reuolt from me, and turne to him.
Depos'd he ſhall be, in deſpight of all.
Oh Clifford, how thy words reuiue my heart.
What wrong is this vnto the Prince, your Sonne?
What good is this to England, and himſelfe?
Baſe, fearefull, and deſpayring Henry.
How haſt thou iniur'd both thy ſelfe and vs?
I cannot ſtay to heare theſe Articles.
Nor I.
Come Couſin, let vs tell the Queene theſe Newes.
Turne this way Henry, and regard them not.
They ſeeke reuenge, and therefore will not yeeld.
Ah Exeter.
Why ſhould you ſigh, my Lord?
This Oath I willingly take, and will performe.
Long liue King Henry: Plantagenet embrace him.
And long liue thou, and theſe thy forward Sonnes.
Now Yorke and Lancaſter are reconcil'd.
Accurſt be he that ſeekes to make them foes.
Farewell my gracious Lord, Ile to my Caſtle.
And Ile keepe London with my Souldiers.
And I to Norfolke with my follower
And I vnto the Sea, from whence I came.
And I with griefe and ſorrow to the Court.
Exeter ſo will I.
Nay, goe not from me, I will follow thee.
Be patient gentle Queene, and I will ſtay.
Stay gentle Margaret, and heare me ſpeake.
Thou haſt ſpoke too much already: get thee gone.
Gentle Sonne Edward, thou wilt ſtay me?
I, to be murther'd by his Enemies.
Come Sonne away, we may not linger thus.
And I, I hope, ſhall reconcile them all.
Brother, though I bee youngeſt, giue mee leaue.
No, I can better play the Orator.
But I haue reaſons ſtrong and forceable.
No Quarrell, but a ſlight Contention.
About what?
Mine Boy? not till King Henry be dead.
Your Right depends not on his life, or death.
I tooke an Oath, that hee ſhould quietly reigne.
No: God forbid your Grace ſhould be for
I ſhall be, if I clayme by open Warre.
Ile proue the contrary, if you'le heare mee ſpeake.
Thou canſt not, Sonne: it is impoſſible.
Shee ſhall not neede, wee'le meete her in the field.
What, with fiue thouſand men?
And I, my Lord, will beare him company.
Souldiers, away with him.
Such pitty as my Rapiers point affords.
I neuer did thee harme: why wilt thou ſlay me?
Thy Father hath.
No cauſe? thy Father ſlew my Father: there
Dij faciant laudis ſumma ſit iſta tuae.
Yeeld to our mercy, proud Plantagenet.
I, I, ſo ſtriues the Woodcocke with the Gynne.
So doth the Connie ſtruggle in the Net.
What would your Grace haue done vnto him now?
That is my Office, for my Fathers ſake.
Nay ſtay, let's heare the Orizons hee makes.
Heere's for my Oath, heere's for my Fathers Death.
And heere's to right our gentle-hearted King.
Dazle mine eyes, or doe I ſee three Sunnes?
Oh ſpeake no more, for I haue heard too much.
Say how he dy'de, for I will heare it all.
How now faire Lords? What faire? What newes abroad?
How now? what newes?
Why then it ſorts, braue Warriors, let's away.
Why that is ſpoken like a toward Prince.
I good my Lord, and leaue vs to our Fortune.
Why, that's my fortune too, therefore Ile ſtay.
Be it with reſolution then to fight.
Are you there Butcher? O, I cannot ſpeake.
'Twas you that kill'd yong Rutland, was it not?
I, and old Yorke, and yet not ſatisfied.
For Gods ſake Lords giue ſignall to the fight.
Then 'twas my turne to fly, and now 'tis thine:
You ſaid ſo much before, and yet you fled.
'Twas not yout valor Clifford droue me thence.
No, nor your manhood that durſt make you ſtay.
I ſlew thy Father, cal'ſt thou him a Child?
Haue done with words (my Lords) and heare me ſpeake.
Defie them then, or els hold cloſe thy lips.
Stay Edward.
How now my Lord, what happe? what hope of good?
Was euer ſonne, ſo rew'd a Fathers death?
Was euer Father ſo bemoan'd his Sonne?
Ile beare thee hence, where I may weepe my fill.
Clifford, aske mercy, and obtaine no grace.
Clifford, repent in bootleſſe penitence.
Clifford, deuiſe excuſes for thy faults,
While we deuiſe fell Tortures for thy faults.
Thou didd'ſt loue Yorke, and I am ſon to Yorke.
Thou pittied'ſt Rutland, I will pitty thee.
Where's Captaine Margaret, to fence you now?
Ile ſtay aboue the hill, ſo both may ſhoot.
Heere comes a man, let's ſtay till he be paſt:
Why linger we? Let vs lay hands vpon him.
Forbeare a-while, wee'l heare a little more.
Say, what art thou talk'ſt of Kings & Queens?
I, but thou talk'ſt, as if thou wer't a King.
Why ſo I am (in Minde) and that's enough.
But if thou be a King, where is thy Crowne?
But did you neuer ſweare, and breake an Oath.
No, neuer ſuch an Oath, nor will not now.
Where did you dwell when I was K. of England?
Heere in this Country, where we now remaine.
No, for we were Subiects, but while you wer king
We are true Subiects to the king, King Edward.
It were no leſſe, but yet Ile make a pawſe.
Hee knowes the Game, how true hee keepes the winde?
Silence.
I feare her not, vnleſſe ſhe chance to fall.
God forbid that, for hee'le take vantages.
How many Children haſt thou, Widow? tell me.
I thinke he meanes to begge a Child of her.
Nay then whip me: hee'le rather giue her two.
Three, my moſt gracious Lord.
You ſhall haue foure, if you'le be rul'd by him.
'Twere pittie they ſhould loſe their Fathers Lands.
Be pittifull, dread Lord, and graunt it then.
Lords giue vs leaue, Ile trye this Widowes wit.
Now tell me, Madame, doe you loue your Children?
I, full as dearely as I loue my ſelfe.
And would you not doe much to doe them good?
To doe them good, I would ſuſtayne ſome harme.
Then get your Husbands Lands, to doe them good.
Therefore I came vnto your Maieſtie.
Ile tell you how theſe Lands are to be got.
So ſhall you bind me to your Highneſſe ſeruice.
What ſeruice wilt thou doe me, if I giue them?
What you command, that reſts in me to doe.
But you will take exceptions to my Boone.
No, gracious Lord, except I cannot doe it.
I, but thou canſt doe what I meane to aske.
Why then I will doe what your Grace com
Hee plyes her hard, and much Raine weares the Marble.
As red as fire? nay then, her Wax muſt melt.
Why ſtoppes my Lord? ſhall I not heare my Taske?
An eaſie Taske, 'tis but to loue a King.
That's ſoone perform'd, becauſe I am a Subiect.
Why then, thy Husbands Lands I freely giue thee.
I take my leaue with many thouſand thankes.
The Match is made, ſhee ſeales it with a Curſie.
But ſtay thee, 'tis the fruits of loue I meane.
The fruits of Loue, I meane, my louing Liege.
No, by my troth, I did not meane ſuch loue.
Why then you meane not, as I thought you did.
But now you partly may perceiue my minde.
To tell thee plaine, I ayme to lye with thee.
To tell you plaine, I had rather lye in Priſon.
Why then thou ſhalt not haue thy Husbands Lands.
Therein thou wrong'ſt thy Children mightily.
Then No, my Lord: my ſuit is at an end.
The Widow likes him not, ſhee knits her Browes.
Hee is the blunteſt Wooer in Chriſten
You cauill, Widow, I did meane my Queene.
'Twill grieue your Grace, my Sonnes ſhould call you Father.
The Ghoſtly Father now hath done his Shrift.
When hee was made a Shriuer, 'twas for ſhift.
Brothers, you muſe what Chat wee two haue had.
The Widow likes it not, for ſhee lookes very ſad.
You'ld thinke it ſtrange, if I ſhould marrie her.
To who, my Lord?
Why Clarence, to my ſelfe.
That would be tenne dayes wonder at the leaſt.
That's a day longer then a Wonder laſts.
By ſo much is the Wonder in extremes.
Why ſay, faire Queene, whence ſprings this deepe deſpaire?
The more wee ſtay, the ſtronger growes our Foe.
The more I ſtay, the more Ile ſuccour thee.
What's hee approacheth boldly to our pre
Our Earle of Warwicke, Edwards greateſt Friend.
Welcome braue Warwicke, what brings thee to France?
If that goe forward, Henries hope is done.
Iniurious Margaret.
And why not Queene?
And I the Houſe of Yorke.
Heauens graunt, that Warwickes wordes be
Thereon I pawne my Credit, and mine Ho
But is hee gracious in the Peoples eye?
The more, that Henry was vnfortunate.
Now Siſter, let vs heare your firme reſolue.
To Edward, but not to the Engliſh King.
Warwicke, this is ſome poſte to vs, or thee.
I like it well, that our faire Queene and Miſtris Smiles at her newes, while Warwicke frownes at his.
Nay marke how Lewis ſtampes as he were netled. I hope, all's for the beſt.
Mine ſuch, as fill my heart with vnhop'd ioyes.
Mine full of ſorrow, and hearts diſcontent.
My quarrel, and this Engliſh Queens, are one.
And mine faire Lady Bona, ioynes with yours.
Let me giue humble thankes for all, at once.
My Lords, forbeare this talke: heere comes the King.
And his well-choſen Bride.
I minde to tell him plainly what I thinke.
Yea, Brother Richard, are you offended too?
But the ſafer, when 'tis back'd with France.
I heare, yet ſay not much, but thinke the more.
Now Meſſenger, what Letters, or what Newes from France?
So God helpe Mountague, as hee proues true.
And Hastings, as hee fauours Edwards cauſe.
Now, Brother Richard, will you ſtand by vs?
I, in deſpight of all that ſhall withſtand you.
Feare not that, my Lord.
What, will he not to Bed?
'Tis the Lord Haſtings, the Kings chiefeſt friend.
'Tis the more honour, becauſe more dange
Vnleſſe our Halberds did ſhut vp his paſ
Who goes there?
Stay, or thou dyeſt.
What are they that flye there?
Richard and Haſtings: let them goe, heere is the Duke.
Madam, what makes you in this ſodain change?
No, but the loſſe of his owne Royall perſon.
Then is my Soueraigne ſlaine?
But whether ſhall we then?
Wel gueſt beleeue me, for that was my meaning
Stanley, I will requite thy forwardneſſe.
But wherefore ſtay we? 'tis no time to talke.
Better do ſo, then tarry and be hang'd.
Come then away, lets ha no more adoo.
And I chuſe Clarence onely for Protector.
What anſweres Clarence to his Soueraignes will?
What elſe? and that Succeſſion be determined.
I, therein Clarence ſhall not want his part.
It ſhall bee done, my Soueraigne, with all ſpeede.
My Liege, it is young Henry, Earle of Rich
What newes, my friend?
Vnſauorie newes: but how made he eſcape?
My Liege, Ile knocke once more, to ſummon them.
True, my good Lord, I know you for no leſſe.
I, ſay you ſo? the Gates ſhall then be opened.
A wiſe ſtout Captaine, and ſoone perſwaded.
Welcome Sir Iohn: but why come you in Armes?
Why Brother, wherefore ſtand you on nice points?
Away with ſcrupulous Wit, now Armes muſt rule.
Edward the Fourth, by the Grace of God, King of England and France, and Lord of Ireland, &c.
Long liue Edward the Fourth.
Let's leuie men, and beat him backe againe,
Farewell my Hector, and my Troyes true hope.
In ſigne of truth, I kiſſe your Highneſſe Hand.
Well-minded Clarence, be thou fortunate.
Comfort, my Lord, and ſo I take my leaue.
And thus I ſeale my truth, and bid adieu.
Farewell, ſweet Lords, let's meet at Couentry.
The doubt is, that he will ſeduce the reſt.
Hearke, hearke, my Lord, what Shouts are theſe?
By this at Dunſmore, marching hitherward.
By this at Daintry, with a puiſſant troope.
Then Clarence is at hand, I heare his Drumme.
Who ſhould that be? belike vnlook'd for friends.
They are at hand, and you ſhall quickly know.
Goe, Trumpet, to the Walls, and ſound a Parle.
See how the ſurly Warwicke mans the Wall.
Is not a Dukedome, Sir, a goodly gift?
'Twas I that gaue the Kingdome to thy Bro
Why then 'tis mine, if but by Warwickes gift.
'Tis euen ſo, yet you are Warwicke ſtill.
Oh chearefull Colours, ſee where Oxford comes.
Oxford, Oxford, for Lancaſter.
The Gates are open, let vs enter too.
Oh welcome Oxford, for we want thy helpe.
Mountague, Mountague, for Lancaſter.
Somerſet, Somerſet, for Lancaſter.
Welcome good Clarence, this is Brother-like.
Oh paſſing Traytor, periur'd and vniuſt.
Away, away, to meet the Queenes great power.
Thankes gentle Somerſet, ſweet Oxford thankes.
And take his thankes, that yet hath nothing elſe.
But hee's deceiu'd, we are in readineſſe.
This cheares my heart, to ſee your forwardneſſe.
Here pitch our Battaile, hence we will not budge.
For my part, Ile not trouble thee with words.
Nor I, but ſtoupe with patience to my fortune.
It is, and loe where youthfull Edward comes.
Ah, that thy Father had beene ſo reſolu'd.
By Heauen, Brat, Ile plague ye for that word.
I, thou waſt borne to be a plague to men.
For Gods ſake, take away this Captiue Scold.
Nay, take away this ſcolding Crooke-backe, rather.
Peace wilfull Boy, or I will charme your tongue.
Vntutor'd Lad, thou art too malapert.
Take that, the likeneſſe of this Rayler here.
Sprawl'ſt thou? take that, to end thy agonie.
And ther's for twitting me with periurie.
Oh, kill me too.
Marry, and ſhall.
Hold, Richard, hold, for we haue done too much.
Why ſhould ſhee liue, to fill the World with words.
What? doth ſhee ſwowne? vſe meanes for her recouerie.
What? what?
Tower, the Tower.
Away with her, go beare her hence perforce.
By heauen, I will not do thee ſo much eaſe.
Good Clarence do: ſweet Clarence do thou do it.
Did'ſt thou not heare me ſweare I would not do it?
Away I ſay, I charge ye beare her hence,
So come to you, and yours, as to this Prince.
Where's Richard gone.
Good day, my Lord, what at your Booke ſo hard?
Sirra, leaue vs to our ſelues, we muſt conferre.
Think'ſt thou I am an Executioner?
Thy Son I kill'd for his preſumption.
Thanke Noble Clarence, worthy brother thanks.
Vpon what cauſe?
Becauſe my name is George.
With this (my Lord) my ſelfe haue nought to doo.
What one, my Lord?
Her Husband Knaue, would'ſt thou betray me?
We know thy charge Brakenbury, and wil obey.
I know it pleaſeth neither of vs well.
I muſt perforce: Farewell.
Good time of day vnto my gracious Lord.
What newes abroad?
He is.
Go you before, and I will follow you.
Stay you that beare the Coarſe, & ſet it down.
My Lord ſtand backe, and let the Coffin paſſe.
Sweet Saint, for Charity, be not ſo curſt.
But I know none, and therefore am no Beaſt.
O wonderfull, when diuels tell the truth!
By ſuch diſpaire, I ſhould accuſe my ſelfe.
Say that I ſlew them not.
I did not kill your Husband.
Why then he is aliue.
Nay, he is dead, and ſlaine by Edwards hands.
I graunt ye.
The better for the King of heauen that hath him.
He is in heauen, where thou ſhalt neuer come.
And thou vnfit for any place, but hell.
Yes one place elſe, if you will heare me name it.
Some dungeon.
Your Bed-chamber.
Ill reſt betide the chamber where thou lyeſt.
So will it Madam, till I lye with you.
I hope ſo.
Thou was't the cauſe, and moſt accurſt effect.
Blacke night ore-ſhade thy day, & death thy life.
I would I were, to be reueng'd on thee.
His better doth not breath vpon the earth.
He liues, that loues thee better then he could.
Name him.
Plantagenet.
Why that was he.
The ſelfeſame name, but one of better Nature.
Where is he?
Would it were mortall poyſon, for thy ſake.
Neuer came poyſon from ſo ſweet a place.
Thine eyes (ſweet Lady) haue infected mine.
Would they were Baſiliskes, to ſtrike thee dead.
Then bid me kill my ſelfe, and I will do it.
I haue already.
I would I knew thy heart.
'Tis figur'd in my tongue.
I feare me, both are falſe.
Then neuer Man was true.
Well, well, put vp your Sword.
Say then my Peace is made.
That ſhalt thou know heereafter.
But ſhall I liue in hope.
What is it?
Bid me farwell.
Towards Chertſey, Noble Lord?
If he were dead, what would betide on me?
No other harme, but loſſe of ſuch a Lord.
The loſſe of ſuch a Lord, includes all harmes.
Is it concluded he ſhall be Protector?
Here comes the Lord of Buckingham & Derby.
Good time of day vnto your Royall Grace.
God make your Maieſty ioyful, as you haue bin
Saw you the King to day my Lord of Derby.
What likelyhood of his amendment Lords.
Madam good hope, his Grace ſpeaks chearfully.
God grant him health, did you confer with him?
To who in all this preſence ſpeaks your Grace?
She may my Lord, for—
What marry may ſhe?
A murth'rous Villaine, and ſo ſtill thou art.
Which God reuenge.
Wert thou not baniſhed, on paine of death?
So iuſt is God, to right the innocent.
Tyrants themſelues wept when it was reported.
No man but prophecied reuenge for it.
Northumberland, then preſent, wept to ſee it.
Haue done thy Charme, yu hateful wither'd Hagge.
Margaret.
Richard.
Ha.
I call thee not.
'Tis done by me, and ends in Margaret.
Thus haue you breath'd your Curſe againſt your ſelf.
Foule ſhame vpon you, you haue all mou'd mine.
Were you wel ſeru'd, you would be taught your duty.
Diſpute not with her, ſhee is lunaticke.
Good counſaile marry, learne it, learne it Mar
It touches you my Lord, as much as me.
Peace, peace for ſhame: If not, for Charity.
Haue done, haue done.
What doth ſhe ſay, my Lord of Buckingham.
Nothing that I reſpect my gracious Lord.
My haire doth ſtand an end to heare her curſes.
And ſo doth mine, I muſe why ſhe's at libertie.
I neuer did her any to my knowledge.
Catesby I come, Lords will you go with mee.
We wait vpon your Grace.
We will my Noble Lord.
Why lookes your Grace ſo heauily to day.
What was your dream my Lord, I pray you tel me
Awak'd you not in this ſore Agony?
I will my Lord, God giue your Grace good reſt.
Ho, who's heere?
What would'ſt thou Fellow? And how camm'ſt thou hither.
I would ſpeak with Clarence, and I came hi
What ſo breefe?
What, ſhall we ſtab him as he ſleepes.
No: hee'l ſay 'twas done cowardly, when he wakes
Why he ſhall neuer wake, vntill the great Iudge
Why then hee'l ſay, we ſtab'd him ſleeping.
The vrging of that word Iudgement, hath bred a kinde of remorſe in me.
What? art thou affraid?
I thought thou had'ſt bin reſolute.
So I am, to let him liue.
Ile backe to the Duke of Glouſter, and tell him ſo.
How do'ſt thou feele thy ſelfe now?
Some certaine dregges of conſcience are yet with
Remember our Reward, when the deed's done.
Come, he dies: I had forgot the Reward.
Where's thy conſcience now.
O, in the Duke of Glouſters purſe.
When hee opens his purſe to giue vs our Reward, thy Conſcience flyes out.
'Tis no matter, let it goe: There's few or none will entertaine it.
What if it come to thee againe?
Ile not meddle with it, it makes a man a Coward: A man cannot ſteale, but it accuſeth him: A man cannot Sweare, but it Checkes him: A man cannot lye with his Neighbours Wife, but it detects him. 'Tis a bluſhing ſhamefac'd ſpirit, that mutinies in a mans boſome: It filles a man full of Obſtacles. It made me once reſtore a Purſſe of Gold that (by chance) I found: It beggars any man that keepes it: It is turn'd out of Townes and Cit
'Tis euen now at my elbow, perſwading me not to kill the Dkue.
I am ſtrong fram'd, he cannot preuaile with me.
Take him on the Coſtard, with the hiltes of thy Sword, and then throw him into the Malmeſey-Butte in the next roome.
O excellent deuice; and make a ſop of him.
Soft, he wakes.
Strike.
No, wee'l reaſon with him.
Where art thou Keeper? Giue me a cup of wine.
You ſhall haue Wine enough my Lord anon.
In Gods name, what art thou?
A man, as you are.
But not as I am Royall.
Nor you as we are, Loyall.
Thy voice is Thunder, but thy looks are humble.
My voice is now the Kings, my lookes mine owne.
To, to, to—
To murther me?
I, I.
Offended vs you haue not, but the King.
I ſhall be reconcil'd to him againe.
Neuer my Lord, therefore prepare to dye.
What we will do, we do vpon command.
And he that hath commanded, is our King.
Whom thou was't ſworne to cheriſh and defend.
My Brothers loue, the Diuell, and my Rage.
I ſo we will.
I Milſtones, as he leſſoned vs to weepe.
O do not ſlander him, for he is kinde.
Make peace with God, for you muſt die my Lord.
What ſhall we do?
Relent? no: 'Tis cowardly and womaniſh.
Looke behinde you, my Lord.
How now? what mean'ſt thou that thou help'ſt me not? By Heauen the Duke ſhall know how ſlacke you haue beene.
So thriue I, as I truly ſweare the like.
So proſper I, as I ſweare perfect loue.
And I, as I loue Haſtings with my heart,
And ſo ſweare I.
All-ſeeing heauen, what a world is this?
Looke I ſo pale Lord Dorſet, as the reſt?
Is Clarence dead? The Order was reuerſt.
A boone my Soueraigne for my ſeruice done.
I prethee peace, my ſoule is full of ſorrow.
I will not riſe, vnleſſe your Highnes heare me.
Then ſay at once, what is it thou requeſts.
We wait vpon your Grace.
Good Grandam tell vs, is our Father dead?
No Boy.
And ſo will I.
Thinke you my Vnkle did diſſemble Grandam?
I Boy.
I cannot thinke it. Hearke, what noiſe is this?
What meanes this Scene of rude impatience?
Ah for our Father, for our deere Lord Clarence.
Alas for both, both mine Edward and Clarence.
What ſtay had I but Edward, and hee's gone?
What ſtay had we but Clarence? and he's gone.
What ſtayes had I, but they? and they are gone.
Was neuer widdow had ſo deere a loſſe.
Were neuer Orphans had ſo deere a loſſe.
And ſo ſay I.
Good morrow Neighbour, whether away ſo faſt?
Yes, that the King is dead.
Neighbours, God ſpeed.
Giue you good morrow ſir.
Doth the newes hold of good king Edwards death?
I ſir, it is too true, God helpe the while.
Then Maſters looke to ſee a troublous world.
No, no, by Gods good grace, his Son ſhall reigne.
Woe to that Land that's gouern'd by a Childe.
Why ſo hath this, both by his Father and Mother.
Come, come, we feare the worſt: all will be well.
Marry we were ſent for to the Iuſtices.
And ſo was I: Ile beare you company.
I Mother, but I would not haue it ſo.
Why my good Coſin, it is good to grow.
And ſo no doubt he is, my gracious Madam.
I hope he is, but yet let Mothers doubt.
I prythee pretty Yorke, who told thee this?
Grandam, his Nurſſe.
His Nurſe? why ſhe was dead, ere yu waſt borne.
If 'twere not ſhe, I cannot tell who told me.
A parlous Boy: go too, you are too ſhrew'd.
Good Madam, be not angry with the Childe.
Pitchers haue eares.
Heere comes a Meſſenger: What Newes?
Such newes my Lord, as greeues me to report.
How doth the Prince?
Well Madam, and in health.
What is thy Newes?
Who hath committed them?
The mighty Dukes, Glouſter and Buckingham.
For what offence?
Stay, I will go with you.
You haue no cauſe.
My Lord, the Maior of London comes to greet you.
God bleſſe your Grace, with health and happie dayes.
And in good time, heere comes the ſweating Lord.
Welcome, my Lord: what, will our Mother come?
I goe, my Lord.
Vpon record, my gracious Lord.
So wiſe, ſo young, they ſay doe neuer liue long.
What ſay you, Vnckle?
What, my gracious Lord?
Short Summers lightly haue a forward Spring.
Now in good time, heere comes the Duke of Yorke.
Richard of Yorke, how fares our Noble Bro
Well, my deare Lord, ſo muſt I call you now.
How fares our Couſin, Noble Lord of Yorke?
He hath, my Lord.
And therefore is he idle?
Oh my faire Couſin, I muſt not ſay ſo.
Then he is more beholding to you, then I.
I pray you, Vnckle, giue me this Dagger.
My Dagger, little Couſin? with all my heart.
A Begger, Brother?
A greater gift then that, Ile giue my Couſin.
A greater gift? O, that's the Sword to it.
I, gentle Couſin, were it light enough.
It is too weightie for your Grace to weare.
I weigh it lightly, were it heauier.
What, would you haue my Weapon, little Lord?
I would that I might thanke you, as, as, you call me.
How?
Little.
What, will you goe vnto the Tower, my Lord?
My Lord Protector will haue it ſo.
I ſhall not ſleepe in quiet at the Tower.
Why, what ſhould you feare?
I feare no Vnckles dead.
Nor none that liue, I hope.
What think'ſt thou then of Stanley? Will not hee?
Hee will doe all in all as Haſtings doth.
Good Catesby, goe effect this buſineſſe ſoundly.
My good Lords both, with all the heed I can.
Shall we heare from you, Catesby, ere we ſleepe?
You ſhall, my Lord.
At Crosby Houſe, there ſhall you find vs both.
Ile clayme that promiſe at your Graces hand.
My Lord, my Lord.
Who knockes?
One from the Lord Stanley.
What is't a Clocke?
Vpon the ſtroke of foure.
Cannot my Lord Stanley ſleepe theſe tedious Nights?
What then?
Ile goe, my Lord, and tell him what you ſay.
Many good morrowes to my Noble Lord.
I, my good Lord.
God keepe your Lordſhip in that gracious minde.
The better, that your Lordſhip pleaſe to aske.
God hold it, to your Honors good content.
Gramercie fellow: there, drinke that for me.
I thanke your Honor.
Well met, my Lord, I am glad to ſee your Ho
Ile wait vpon your Lordſhip.
Nay like enough, for I ſtay Dinner there.
Ile wait vpon your Lordſhip.
You liue, that ſhall cry woe for this heere
Diſpatch, the limit of your Liues is out.
Make haſte, the houre of death is expiate.
Is all things ready for the Royall time?
It is, and wants but nomination.
To morrow then I iudge a happie day.
Your Grace, we thinke, ſhould ſooneſt know his minde.
In happie time, here comes the Duke himſelfe.
Mary and will, my Lord, with all my heart.
Withdraw your ſelfe a while, Ile goe with you.
If they haue done this deed, my Noble Lord.
Come, come, diſpatch, 'tis bootleſſe to exclaime.
He is, and ſee he brings the Maior along.
Lord Maior.
Looke to the Draw-Bridge there.
Hearke, a Drumme.
Catesby, o're-looke the Walls.
Lord Maior, the reaſon we haue ſent.
Looke back, defend thee, here are Enemies.
God and our Innocencie defend, and guard vs.
Be patient, they are friends: Ratcliffe, and Louell.
Had he done ſo?
How now, how now, what ſay the Citizens?
Toucht you the Baſtardie of Edwards Children?
And did they ſo?
Now Catesby, what ſayes your Lord to my requeſt?
Ile ſignifie ſo much vnto him ſtraight.
Marry God defend his Grace ſhould ſay vs nay.
See where his Grace ſtands, tweene two Clergie men.
Elſe wherefore breathe I in a Chriſtian Land.
Do good my Lord, your Citizens entreat you.
Refuſe not, mightie Lord, this proffer'd loue.
O make them ioyfull, grant their lawfull ſuit.
God bleſſe your Grace, wee ſee it, and will ſay it.
Amen.
To morrow may it pleaſe you to be Crown'd.
Euen when you pleaſe, for you will haue it ſo.
As much to you, good Siſter: whither away?
The King? who's that?
I meane, the Lord Protector.
I am their Fathers Mother, I will ſee them.
Deſpightfull tidings, O vnpleaſing newes.
Be of good cheare: Mother, how fares your Grace?
Come, Madame, come, I in all haſte was ſent.
Poore heart adieu, I pittie thy complaining.
No more, then with my ſoule I mourne for yours.
Farewell, thou wofull welcommer of glory.
Adieu, poore ſoule, that tak'ſt thy leaue of it.
Stand all apart. Couſin of Buckingham.
My gracious Soueraigne.
Still liue they, and for euer let them laſt.
Say on my louing Lord.
Why Buckingham, I ſay I would be King.
Why ſo you are, my thrice-renowned Lord.
Ha? am I King? 'tis ſo: but Edward liues.
True, Noble Prince.
Your Grace may doe your pleaſure.
The King is angry, ſee he gnawes his Lippe.
My Lord.
What is his Name?
His Name, my Lord, is Tirrell.
Iames Tyrrel, and your moſt obedient ſubiect.
Art thou indeed?
Proue me, my gracious Lord.
Dar'ſt thou reſolue to kill a friend of mine?
I will diſpatch it ſtraight.
Well, let that reſt: Dorſet is fled to Richmond.
I heare the newes, my Lord.
Stanley, hee is your Wiues Sonne: well, looke vnto it.
What ſayes your Highneſſe to my iuſt requeſt?
May it pleaſe you to reſolue me in my ſuit.
Thou troubleſt me, I am not in the vaine.
Kinde Tirrell, am I happy in thy Newes.
But did'ſt thou ſee them dead.
I did my Lord.
And buried gentle Tirrell.
I humbly take my leaue.
My Lord.
Good or bad newes, that thou com'ſt in ſo bluntly?
When holy Harry dyed, and my ſweet Sonne.
My words are dull, O quicken them with thine.
Why ſhould calamity be full of words?
Who intercepts me in my Expedition?
Where is the gentle Riuers, Ʋaughan, Gray?
Where is kinde Haſtings?
Art thou my Sonne?
I, I thanke God, my Father, and your ſelfe.
Then patiently heare my impatience.
O let me ſpeake.
Do then, but Ile not heare.
I will be milde, and gentle in my words.
And breefe (good Mother) for I am in haſt.
And came I not at laſt to comfort you?
I prythee heare me ſpeake.
You ſpeake too bitterly.
So.
Stay Madam, I muſt talke a word with you.
Wrong not her Byrth, ſhe is a Royall Princeſſe.
To ſaue her life, Ile ſay ſhe is not ſo.
Her life is ſafeſt onely in her byrth.
And onely in that ſafety, dyed her Brothers.
Loe at their Birth, good ſtarres were oppoſite.
No, to their liues, ill friends were contrary.
All vnauoyded is the doome of Deſtiny.
You ſpeake as if that I had ſlaine my Coſins?
Th' aduancement of your children, gentle Lady
Vp to ſome Scaffold, there to loſe their heads.
My daughters Mother thinkes it with her ſoule.
What do you thinke?
Well then, who doſt yu meane ſhallbe her King.
What, thou?
Euen ſo: How thinke you of it?
How canſt thou woo her?
And wilt thou learne of me?
Madam, with all my heart.
Say that I did all this for loue of her.
Inferre faire Englands peace by this Alliance.
Which ſhe ſhall purchaſe with ſtil laſting warre.
Tell her, the King that may command, intreats.
That at her hands, which the kings King forbids.
Say ſhe ſhall be a High and Mighty Queene.
To vaile the Title, as her Mother doth.
Say I will loue her euerlaſtingly.
But how long ſhall that title euer laſt?
Sweetly in force, vnto her faire liues end.
But how long fairely ſhall her ſweet life laſt?
As long as Heauen and Nature lengthens it.
As long as Hell and Richard likes of it.
Say, I her Soueraigne, am her Subiect low.
But ſhe your Subiect, lothes ſuch Soueraignty.
Be eloquent in my behalfe to her.
An honeſt tale ſpeeds beſt, being plainly told.
Then plainly to her, tell my louing tale.
Plaine and not honeſt, is too harſh a ſtyle.
Your Reaſons are too ſhallow, and to quicke.
Prophan'd, diſhonor'd, and the third vſurpt.
I ſweare.
Then by my Selfe.
Thy Selfe, is ſelfe-miſvs'd.
Now by the World.
'Tis full of thy foule wrongs.
My Fathers death.
Thy life hath it diſhonor'd.
Why then, by Heauen.
The time to come.
Shall I be tempted of the Diuel thus?
I, if the Diuell tempt you to do good.
Shall I forget my ſelfe, to be my ſelfe.
I, if your ſelfes remembrance wrong your ſelfe.
Yet thou didſt kil my Children.
Shall I go win my daughter to thy will?
And be a happy Mother by the deed.
Here, my good Lord.
Catesby, flye to the Duke.
I will, my Lord, with all conuenient haſte.
I goe.
What, may it pleaſe you, ſhall I doe at Salis
Why, what would'ſt thou doe there, before I goe?
Your Highneſſe told me I ſhould poſte before.
Richmond is on the Seas.
I know not, mightie Soueraigne, but by gueſſe.
Well, as you gueſſe.
Vnleſſe for that, my Liege, I cannot gueſſe.
No, my good Lord, therefore miſtruſt me not.
No, my good Lord, my friends are in the North.
So deale with him, as I proue true to you.
My Lord, the Armie of great Buckingham.
Such Proclamation hath been made, my Lord.
At Penbroke, or at Hertford Weſt in Wales.
What men of Name reſort to him.
Will not King Richard let me ſpeake with him?
No my good Lord, therefore be patient.
It is.
I doubt not but his Friends will turne to vs.
My heart is ten times lighter then my lookes.
My Lord of Norfolke.
Heere moſt gracious Liege.
We muſt both giue and take my louing Lord.
Six or ſeuen thouſand is their vtmoſt power.
What is't a Clocke?
It's Supper time my Lord, it's nine a clocke.
It is my Liege: and all things are in readineſſe.
S
I warrant you my Lord.
Ratcliffe.
My Lord.
My Lord.
Saw'ſt the melancholly Lord Northumberland?
It is my Lord.
Fortune, and Victory ſit on thy Helme.
Thinke vpon Grey, and let thy ſoule diſpaire.
My Lord.
Who's there?
O Ratcliffe, I feare, I feare.
Nay good my Lord, be not affraid of Shadows.
Good morrow Richmond.
How haue you ſlept my Lord?
Vpon the ſtroke of foure.
What ſaid Northumberland as touching Richmond?
That he was neuer trained vp in Armes.
He ſaid the truth: and what ſaid Surrey then?
He ſmil'd and ſaid, the be
Not I my Lord.
My Lord.
Arme, arme, my Lord: the foe vaunts in the field.
Iockey of Norfolke, be not ſo bold, For Dickon thy maiſter is bought and ſold.
My Lord, he doth deny to come.
Off with his ſonne Georges head.
A Horſe, a Horſe, my Kingdome for a Horſe.
Withdraw my Lord, Ile helpe you to a Horſe
What men of name are ſlaine on either ſide?
Iohn Duke of Norfolke, Walter Lord Ferris, Sir Robert Brokenbury, and Sir William Brandon.
Oh you go farre.
I pray you who, my Lord?
Marry is't.
Heere ſo pleaſe you.
Is he in perſon, ready?
I, pleaſe your Grace.
Say not treaſonous.
Faith, and ſo it did.
Your Office Sergeant: execute it.
A Monke o' th' Chartreux.
O Michaell Hopkins?
He.
Nay, we muſt longer kneele; I am a Suitor.
Lady mine proceed.
Speake freely.
What was that Henton?
How know'ſt thou this?
Let him on: Goe forward.
I can my Liedge.
Proceed.
A Gyant Traytor.
God mend all.
Ther's ſomthing more would out of thee; what ſay'ſt?
What is't for?
I am your Lordſhips.
You are young Sir Harry Guilford
Faith how eaſie?
As eaſie as a downe bed would affoord it.
Was he mad Sir?
You cannot ſhew me.
I told your Grace, they would talke anon.
What's that?
Looke out there, ſome of ye.
How now, what is't?
My Lord.
Your Grace.
I will my Lord.
What ſay they?
Yes, my Lord.
I feare too much.
Whether away ſo faſt?
Were you there?
Yes indeed was I.
Pray ſpeake what ha's happen'd.
You may gueſſe quickly what.
Is he found guilty?
I am ſorry fort.
So are a number more.
But pray how paſt it?
After all this, how did he beare himſelfe?
I doe not thinke he feares death.
Let's ſtand cloſe and behold him.
MY Lord, the Horſes your Lordſhip ſent for, with all the care I had, I ſaw well choſen, ridden, and furniſh'd. They were young and handſome, and of the beſt breed in the North. When they were ready to ſet out for London, a man of my Lord Cardinalls, b
I feare he will indeede; well, let him haue them; hee will haue all I thinke.
Well met my Lord Chamberlaine.
Good day to both your Graces.
How is the King imployd?
What's the cauſe?
And free vs from his ſlauery.
Thankes my good Lord Chamberlaine.
How ſad he lookes; ſure he is much afflicted.
Who's there? Ha?
Pray God he be not angry.
We are buſie; goe.
This Prieſt ha's no pride in him?
If it doe, Ile venture one; haue at him.
I another.
Come hither Gardiner.
Yes, he was.
Was he not held a learned man?
Yes ſurely.
How? of me?
Nay, good troth.
Yes troth, & troth; you would not be a Queen?
No, not for all the riches vnder Heauen.
No in truth.
Now I pray God, Amen.
My honour'd Lord.
This is ſtrange to me.
Come you are pleaſant.
What doe you thinke me —
Bee't ſo, proceed.
Say, Henry K. of England, come into the Court.
Henry King of England, &c.
Heere.
Lord Cardinall, to you I ſpeake.
Your pleaſure, Madam.
Be patient yet.
Call her againe.
Katherine ▪
Q of England, come into the Court.
Ʋſh. Madam, you are cald backe.
Very well my Liedge.
How now?
Would they ſpeake with me?
They wil'd me ſay ſo Madam.
Peace to your Highneſſe.
Tanta eſt erga te mentis integritas Regina ſereniſſima.
How Sir?
He tels you rightly.
Your rage miſtakes vs.
Your feares are worſe.
Pray heare me.
Moſt ſtrangely.
O how? how?
Ha's the King this?
Beleeue it.
Will this worke?
Would he had.
My Amen too't.
All mens.
Marry Amen.
So I heare.
Obſerue, obſerue, hee's moody.
To his owne hand, in's Bed-chamber.
Look'd he o' th' inſide of the Paper?
Is he ready to come abroad?
I thinke by this he is.
He's diſcontented.
He is vex'd at ſomething.
The King, the King.
You haue ſaid well.
What ſhould this meane?
The Lord increaſe this buſineſſe.
The King that gaue it.
It muſt be himſelfe then.
Thou art a proud Traitor, Prieſt.
I forgiue him.
I haue no power to ſpeake Sir.
How does your Grace.
God bleſſe him.
The next is, that Sir Thomas Moore is choſen Lord Chancellor, in your place.
That's Newes indeed.
Good Sir, haue patience.
Y' are well met once againe.
So are you.
A liuely Flouriſh of Trumpets.
Then, two Iudges.
Lord Chancellor, with Purſe and Mace before him.
Quirriſters ſinging.
Maior of London, bearing the Mace. Then Garter, in his Coate of Armes, and on his head he wore a Gilt Copper Crowne.
Marqueſſe Dorſet, bearing a Scepter of Gold, on his head, a Demy Coronall of Gold. With him, the Earle of Surrey, bearing the Rod of Siluer with the Doue, Crowned with an Earles Coronet. Collars of Eſſes.
Duke of Suffolke, in his Robe of Eſtate, his Coronet on his head, bearing a long white Wand, as High Steward. With him, the Duke of Norfolke, with the Rod of Marſhalſhip, a Coronet on his head. Collars of Eſſes.
A Canopy, borne by foure of the Cinque-Ports, vnder it the Queene in her Robe, in her haire, richly adorned with Pearle, Crowned. On each ſide her, the Biſhops of London, and Wincheſter.
The Olde Dutcheſſe of Norfolke, in a Coronall of Gold, wrought with Flowers bearing the Queenes Traine.
Certaine Ladies or Counteſſes, with plaine Circlets of Gold, without Flowers.
'Tis the ſame: high Steward.
And that my Lord of Norfolke?
Yes.
It is, and all the reſt are Counteſſes.
No more of that.
God ſaue you Sir. Where haue you bin broiling?
You ſaw the Ceremony?
That I did.
How was it?
Well worth the ſeeing.
Good Sir, ſpeake it to vs?
But what follow'd?
Who may that be, I pray you.
He will deſerue more.
You may command vs Sir.
How do's your Grace?
Alas poore man
Madam, we are heere.
None Madam.
She is going Wench. Pray, pray.
Heauen comfort her.
And't like your Grace—
Madam the ſame. Your Seruant.
Madam, in good health.
No Madam.
Moſt willing Madam.
It's one a clocke Boy, is't not.
It hath ſtrooke.
Came you from the King, my Lord?
Many good nights, my Lord, I reſt your ſeruant.
Sir, I did neuer win of you before.
Alas good Lady.
Ha? Canterbury?
I my good Lord.
'Tis true: where is he Denny?
He attends your Highneſſe pleaſure.
Bring him to Vs.
Come backe: what meane you?
Louell.
Sir.
Why?
Your Grace muſt waight till you be call'd for.
So.
Ile ſhew your Grace the ſtrangeſt fight.
What's that Buts?
I thinke your Highneſſe ſaw this many a day.
Body a me: where is it?
Ha's he had knowledge of it?
Yes.
Who waits there?
Without my Noble Lords?
Yes.
Let him come in.
Your Grace may enter now.
Why my Lord?
Not ſound?
Not ſound I ſay.
I ſhall remember this bold Language.
I haue done.
And I.
We are.
This is the Kings Ring.
'Tis no counterfeit.
May it pleaſe your Grace;—
Come, come my Lord, you'd ſpare your ſpoones; You ſhall haue two noble Partners with you: the old Ducheſſe of Norfolke, and Lady Marqueſſe Dorſet? will theſe pleaſe you?
You'l leaue your noyſe anon ye
Good M. Porter I belong to th' Larder.
Belong to th' Gallowes, and be hang'd ye Rogue: Is this a place to roare in? Fetch me a dozen Crab-tree ſtaues, and ſtrong ones; theſe are but ſwitches to 'em: Ile ſcratch your heads; you muſt be ſeeing Chriſtenings? Do you looke for Ale, and Cakes heere, you rude Raskalls?
How got they in, and be hang'd?
You did nothing Sir.
Do you heare M. Porter?
What would you haue me doe?
What ſhould you doe,
But knock 'em downe by th' dozens? Is this More fields to muſter in? Or haue wee ſome ſtrange Indian with the great Toole, come to Court, the women ſo beſiege vs? Bleſſe me, what a fry of Fornication is at dore? On my Chriſtian Conſcience this one Chriſtening will beget a thouſand, here will bee Father, God-father, and all to
The Spoones will be the bigger Sir: There is a fellow ſomewhat neere the doore, he ſhould be a Braſi
Theſe are the youths that thunder at a Playhouſe, and fight for bitten Apples, that no Audience but the tribulation of Tower Hill, or the Limbes of Limehouſe, their deare Brothers are able to endure. I haue ſome of 'em in Limbo Patrum, and there they are like to dance theſe three dayes; beſides the running Banquet of two Beadles, that is to come.
Make way there, for the Princeſſe.
Elizabeth.
Amen.
Thou ſpeakeſt wonders.
Will this geere nere be mended?
Well, I haue told you enough of this: For my part, Ile not meddle nor make no farther. Hee that will haue a Cake out of the Wheate, muſt needes tarry the grinding.
Haue I not tarried?
I the grinding; but you muſt tarry the bolting.
Haue I not tarried?
I the boulting; but you muſt tarry the leau'ing.
Still haue I tarried.
I, to the leauening: but heeres yet in the word hereafter, the Kneading, the making of the Cake, the heating of the Ouen, and the Baking; nay, you muſt ſtay the cooling too, or you may chance to burne your lips.
And her haire were not ſomewhat darker then Helens, well go too, there were no more compariſon beCaſſandra's wit, but—
I ſpeake no more then truth.
Thou do'ſt not ſpeake ſo much.
Faith, Ile not meddle in't: Let her be as ſhee is, if ſhe be faire, 'tis the better for her: and ſhe be not, ſhe ha's the mends in her owne hands.
Good Pandarus: How now Pandarus?
I haue had my Labour for my trauell, ill thought on of her, and ill thought on of you: Gone betweene and betweene, but ſmall thankes for my labour.
What art thou angry Pandarus? what with me?
Becauſe ſhe's Kinne to me, therefore ſhee's not ſo faire as Helen, and ſhe were not kin to me, ſhe would be as faire on Friday, as Helen is on Sunday. But what care I? I care not and ſhe were a Black-a-Moore, 'tis all one to me.
Say I ſhe is not faire?
I doe not care whether you doe or no. Shee's a Foole to ſtay behinde her Father: Let her to the Greeks, and ſo Ile tell her the next time I ſee her: for my part, Ile meddle nor make no more i' th' matter.
Pandarus?
Not I.
Sweete Pandarus.
Pray you ſpeake no more to me, I will leaue all as I found it, and there an end.
That Paris is returned home, and hurt.
By whom Aeneas?
Troylus by Menelaus.
Harke what good ſport is out of Towne to day.
In all ſwift haſt.
Come goe wee then togither.
Who were thoſe went by?
Queene Hecuba, and Hellen.
And whether go they?
What was his cauſe of anger?
Good; and what of him?
They ſay he is a very man per ſe and ſtands alone.
So do all men, vnleſſe they are drunke, ſicke, or haue no legges.
This man Lady, hath rob'd many beaſts of their particular additions, he is as valiant as the Lyon, churliſh as the Beare, ſlow as the Elephant: a man into whom nature hath ſo crowded humors, that his valour is cruſht into folly, his folly ſauced with diſcretion: there is no man hath a vertue, that he hath not a glimpſe of, nor aBriareus, many hands and no vſe; or purblinded Argus, all eyes and no ſight.
But how ſhould this man that makes me ſmile, make Hector angry?
They ſay he yeſterday cop'd Hector in the batHector faſting and waking.
Who comes here?
Madam your Vncle Pandarus.
Hectors a gallant man.
As may be in the world Lady.
What's that? what's that?
Good morrow Vncle Pandarus.
Good morrow Cozen Creſſid: what do you talke of? good morrow Alexander: how do you Cozen? when were you at Illium?
This morning Vncle.
What were you talking of when I came? Was Hector arm'd and gon ere yea came to Illium? Hellen was not vp? was ſhe?
Hector was gone but Hellen was not vp?
E'ene ſo; Hector was ſtirring early.
That were we talking of, and of his anger.
Was he angry?
So he ſaies here.
True he was ſo; I know the cauſe too, heele lay about him to day I can tell them thatTroylus will not come farre behind him, let them take heede of Troylus; I can tell them that too.
What is he angry too?
Oh Iupiter; there's no compariſon.
What not betweene Troylus and Hector? do you know a man if you ſee him?
I, if I euer ſaw him before and knew him.
Well I ſay Troylus is Troylus.
No not Hector is not Troylus in ſome degrees.
'Tis iuſt, to each of them he is himſelfe.
Himſelfe? alas poore Troylus I would he were.
So he is.
Condition I had gone bare-foote to India.
He is not Hector.
Himſelfe? no? hee's not himſelfe, would a were himſelfe: well, the Gods are aboue, time muſt friend or end: well Troylus well, I would my heart were in her boHector is not a better man then Troylus.
Excuſe me.
He is elder.
Pardon me, pardon me.
Th' others not come too't, you ſhall tell me anoHector ſhall not haue his will this yeare.
He ſhall not neede it if he haue his owne.
Nor his qualities.
No matter.
Nor his beautie.
'Twould not become him, his own's better.
You haue no iudgement Neece; Hellen her ſelfe ſwore th' other day, that Troylus for a browne fauour (for ſo 'tis I muſt confeſſe) not browne neither.
No, but browne.
Faith to ſay truth, browne and not browne.
To ſay the truth, true and not true.
She prais'd his complexion aboue Paris.
Why Paris hath colour inough.
So, he has.
Then Troylus ſhould haue too much, if ſhe prasi'd him aboue, his complexion is higher then his, he hauing
Hellens golTroylus for a copper noſe.
Then ſhee's a merry Greeke indeed.
Nay I am ſure ſhe does, ſhe came to him th' other day into the compaſt window, and you know he has not paſt three or foure haires on his chinne.
Indeed a Tapſters Arithmetique may ſoone bring his particulars therein, to a totall.
Why he is very yong, and yet will he within three pound lift as much as his brother Hector.
Is he is ſo young a man, and ſo old a lifter?
But to prooue to you that Hellen loues him, ſhe came and puts me her white hand to his clouen chin.
Iuno haue mercy, how came it clouen?
Oh he ſmiles valiantly.
Dooes hee not?
Oh yes, and 'twere a clow'd in Autumne.
Why go to then, but to proue to you that Hellen loues Troylus.
Troylus? why he eſteemes her no more then I e
If you loue an addle egge as well as you loue an idle head, you would eate chickens i' th' ſhell.
I cannot chuſe but laugh to thinke how ſhe tick
Without the racke.
And ſhee takes vpon her to ſpie a white haire on his chinne.
Alas poore chin? many a wart is richer.
But there was ſuch laughing, Queene Hecuba laught that her eyes ran ore.
With Milſtones.
And Caſſandra laught.
But there was more temperate fire vnder the pot of her eyes: did her eyes run ore too?
And Hector laught.
At what was all this laughing?
Marry at the white haire that Hellen ſpied on Troylus chin.
And t' had beene a greene haire, I ſhould haue laught too.
They laught not ſo much at the haire, as at his pretty anſwere.
What was his anſwere?
Quoth ſhee, heere's but two and fifty haires on your chinne; and one of them is white.
This is her queſtion.
That's true, make no queſtion of that, two and fiftie haires quoth hee, and one white, that white haire is my Father, and all the reſt are his Sonnes. Iupiter quoth ſhe, which of theſe haires is Paris my husband? The forHellen ſo bluſht, and Paris ſo chaft, and all the reſt ſo laught, that it paſt.
So I does.
Ile be ſworne 'tis true, he will weepe you an'twere a man borne in Aprill.
And Ile ſpring vp in his teares, an'twere a nettle againſt May.
Harke they are comming from the field, ſhal we ſtand vp here and ſee them, as they paſſe toward Illium, good Neece do, ſweet Neece Creſſida.
At your pleaſure.
Heere, heere, here's an excellent place, heere we may ſee moſt brauely, Ile tel you them all by their names, as they paſſe by, but marke Troylus aboue the reſt.
Speake not ſo low'd.
That's Aeneas, is not that a braue man, hee's one of the flowers of Troy I can you, but merke Troylus, you ſhal ſee anon.
Who's that?
That's Antenor, he has a ſhrow'd wit I can tell you, and hee's a man good inough, hee's one o' th ſounTroylus? Ile ſhew you Troylus anon, if hee ſee me, you ſhall ſee him him nod at me.
Will he giue you the nod?
You ſhall ſee.
If he do, the rich ſhall haue, more.
That's Hector, that, that, looke you, that there's a fellow. Goe thy way Hector, there's a braue man Neece, O braue Hector! Looke how hee lookes? there's a coun
O braue man!
Is a not? It dooes a mans heart good, looke you what hacks are on his Helmet, looke you yonder, do you ſee? Looke you there? There's no ieſting, laying on, tak't off, who ill as they ſay, there be hacks.
Be thoſe with Swords?
Swords, any thing he cares not, and the diuell come to him, it's all one, by Gods lid it dooes ones heart good. Yonder comes Paris, yonder comes Paris: looke yee yonder Neece, iſt not a gallant man to, iſt not? Why this is braue now: who ſaid he came hurt home to day? Hee's not hurt, why this will do Hellens heart good now, ha? Would I could ſee Troylus now, you ſhall Troylus anon.
Whoſe that?
That's Hellenus, I maruell where Troylus is, that's Helenus, I thinke he went not forth to day: that's Hellenus.
Can Hellenus fight Vncle?
Hellenus no: yes heele fight indifferent, well, I maruell where Troylus is; harke, do you not haere the people crie Troylus? Hellenus is a Prieſt.
What ſneaking fellow comes yonder?
Where? Yonder? That's Daphobus. 'Tis Troylus! Ther's a man Neece, hem
Peace, for ſhame peace.
Marke him, not him: O braue Troylus: looke well vpon him Neece, looke you how his Sword is blouHectors, and how he
Troylus, go thy way, had I a ſiſter were a Grace, or a daughter a Goddeſſe, hee ſhould take his choice. O admirable man! Paris? Paris is durt to him, and I warrant, Helen to change, would giue money to boot.
Heere come more.
Aſſes, fooles, dolts, chaffe and bran, chaffe and bran; porredge after meat. I could liue and dye i' th' eyes of Troylus. Ne're looke, ne're looke; the Eagles are gon, Crowes and Dawes, Crowes and Dawes: I had rather be ſuch a man as Troylus, then Agamemnon, and all Greece.
There is among the Greekes Achilles, a better man then Troylus.
Achilles? a Dray-man, a Porter, a very Camell.
Well, well.
Well, well? Why haue you any diſcretion? haue you any eyes? Do you know what a man is? Is not birth, beauty, good-ſhape, diſcourſe, manhood, learning, gen
I, a minc'd man, and then to be bak'd with no Date in the pye, for then the mans dates out.
You are ſuch another woman, one knowes not at what ward you lye.
Vpon my backe, to defend my belly; vpon my wit, to defend my wiles; vppon my ſecrecy, to defend mine honeſty; my Maske, to defend my beauty, and you to defend all theſe: and at all theſe wardes I lye at, at a thouſand watches.
Say one of your watches.
Nay Ile watch you for that, and that's one of the cheefeſt of them too: If I cannot ward what I would not haue hit, I can watch you for telling how I took the blow, vnleſſe it ſwell paſt hiding, and then it's paſt wat
You are ſuch another.
Sir, my Lord would inſtantly ſpeake with you.
Where?
At your owne houſe.
Adieu Vnkle.
Ile be with you Neece by and by.
To bring Vnkle.
I, a token from Troylus.
What Trumpet? Looke Menelaus.
From Troy.
What would you 'fore our Tent?
Is this great Agamemnons Tent, I pray you?
Euen this.
How?
Sir, you of Troy, call you your ſelfe Aeneas?
I Greeke, that is my name.
What's your affayre I pray you?
Sir pardon, 'tis for Agamemnons cares
Now heauens forbid ſuch ſcarſitie of youth.
Amen.
Nestor.
What ſayes Vlyſſes?
What is't?
Wel, and how?
And wake him to the anſwer, thinke you?
I ſee them not with my old eies: what are they?
Therſites?
Agamemnon, how if he had Biles (ful) all ouer generally.
Therſites?
And thoſe Byles did runne, ſay ſo; did not the General run, were not that a botchy core?
Dogge.
The plague of Greece vpon thee thou Mungrel beefe-witted Lord.
Speake then you whinid'ſt leauen ſpeake, I will beate thee into handſomneſſe.
I ſhal ſooner rayle thee into wit and holineſſe: but I thinke thy Horſe wil ſooner con an Oration, then yu learn a prayer without booke: Thou canſt ſtrike, canſt thou? A red Murren o' th thy Iades trickes.
Toads ſtoole, learne me the Proclamation.
Doeſt thou thinke I haue no ſence thou ſtrik'ſt me thus?
The Proclamation.
Thou art proclaim'd a foole, I thinke.
Do not Porpentine, do not; my fingers itch.
I would thou didſt itch from head to foot, and I had the ſcratching of thee, I would make thee the loth
I ſay the Proclamation.
Thou grumbleſt & raileſt euery houre on Achilles, and thou art as ful of enuy at his greatnes, as
Miſtreſſe Therſites.
Thou ſhould'ſt ſtrike him.
Coblofe.
He would pun thee into ſhiuers with his fiſt, as a Sailor breakes a bisket.
You horſon Curre.
Do, do.
Thou ſtoole for a Witch.
I, do, do, thou ſodden-witted Lord: thou haſt no more braine then I haue in mine elbows: An Aſinico may tutor thee. Thou ſcuruy valiant Aſſe, thou art heere but to threſh Troyans, and thou art bought and ſolde a
You dogge.
You ſcuruy Lord.
You Curre.
Mars his Ideot: do rudenes, do Camell, do, do.
You ſee him there, do you?
I, what's the matter.
Nay looke vpon him.
So I do: what's the matter?
Nay but regard him well.
Well, why I do ſo.
But yet you looke not well vpon him: for who ſome euer you take him to be, he is Aiax.
I know that foole.
I, but that foole knowes not himſelfe.
Therefore I beare thee.
Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he vtters: his euaſions haue eares thus long. I haue bobb'd his Braine more then he has beate my bones: I will buy nine SparPiamater is not worth the ninth part of a Sparrow. This Lord (Achilles) Aiax who wears his wit in his belly, and his guttes in his head, Ile tell you what I ſay of him.
What?
I ſay this Aiax—
Nay good Aiax.
Has not ſo much wit.
Nay, I muſt hold you.
As will ſtop the eye of Helens Needle, for whom he comes to fight.
Peace foole.
I would haue peace and quietnes, but the foole will not: He there, that he, looke you there.
O thou damn'd Curre, I ſhall—
Will you ſet your wit to a Fooles.
No I warrant you, for a fooles will ſhame it.
Good words Therſites.
What's the quarrell?
I bad thee vile Owle, goe learne me the tenure of the Proclamation, and he rayles vpon me.
I ſerue thee not.
Well, go too, go too.
I ſerue heere voluntary.
Your laſt ſeruice was ſufferance, 'twas not voAiax was heere the voluntary
E'neſo, a great deale of your wit too lies in your ſinnewes, or elſe there be Liars Hector ſhall haue a great catch, if he knocke out either of your braines, he were as good cracke a fuſtie nut with no kernell.
What with me to Therſites?
There's Vlyſſes, and old Neſtor, whoſe Wit was mouldy ere their Grandſires had nails on their toes, yoke you like draft-Oxen, and make you plough vp the warre.
What? what?
Yes good ſooth, to Achilles, to Aiax, to—
I ſhall cut out your tongue.
'Tis no matter, I ſhall ſpeake as much as thou afterwards.
No more words Therſites.
I will hold my peace when Achilles Brooch bids me, ſhall I?
There's for you Patroclus.
I wil ſee you hang'd like Clotpoles ere I come any more to your Tents; I will keepe where there is wit ſtirring, and leaue the faction of fooles.
A good riddance.
Farewell? who ſhall anſwer him?
O meaning you, I wil go learne more of it.
What's aught, but as 'tis valew'd?
Cry Troyans, cry.
What noyſe? what ſhreeke is this?
'Tis our mad ſiſter, I do know her voyce.
Cry Troyans.
It is Caſſandra.
Peace ſiſter, peace.
How now Therſites? what loſt in the Labyrinth of thy furie? ſhall the Elephant Aiax carry it thus? he beates me, and I raile at him: O worthy ſatisfaction, would it were otherwiſe: that I could beate him, whil'ſt he rail'd at me: Sfoote, Ile learne to coniure and raiſe Diuels, but Ile ſee ſome iſſue of my ſpitefull execrations. Then ther's Achilles, a rare Enginer. If Troy be not taken till theſe two vndermine it, the wals will ſtand till they fall of themIoue the King of gods: and Mercury, looſe all the Serpentine craft of thy Caduceus, if thou take not that little little leſſe then little wit from them that they haue, which ſhort-arm'd ignorance it ſelfe knowes, is ſo abundant ſcarſe, it will not in circumuention deliuer a Flye from a Spider, without drawing the maſſie Irons and cutting the web: after this, the vengeance on the whole Camp, or rather the bone-ach, for that me thinkes is the curſe dependant on thoſe that warre for a placket. I haue ſaid my prayers and diuell, enuie, ſay Amen: What ho? my Lord Achilles?
Who's there? Therſites. Good Therſites come in and raile.
If I could haue remembred a guilt counterfeit, thou would'ſt not haue ſlipt out of my contemplation, but it is no matter, thy ſelfe vpon thy ſelfe. The common curſe of mankinde, follie and ignorance be thine in great reuenew; heauen bleſſe thee from a Tutor, and Diſcipline come not neere thee. Let thy bloud be thy direction till thy death, then if ſhe that laies thee out ſayes thou art a faire coarſe, Ile be ſworne and ſworne vpon't ſhe neuer ſhrowded any but Lazars, Amen. Wher's Achilles?
What art thou deuout? waſt thou in a prayer?
I, the heauens heare me.
Who's there?
Therſites, my Lord.
Where, where, art thou come? why my cheeſe, my digeſtion, why haſt thou not ſeru'd thy ſelfe into my Table, ſo many meales? Come, what's Agamemnon?
Thy Commander Achilles, then tell me Patroclus, what's
Thy Lord Therſites: then tell me I pray thee, what's thy ſelfe?
Thy knower Patroclus: then tell me Patroclus, what art thou?
Thou maiſt tell that know'ſt.
O tell, tell.
Ile declin the whole queſtion: Agamemnon comAchilles, Achilles is my Lord, I am Patroclus knowPatroclus is a foole.
You raſcall.
Peace foole, I haue not done.
He is a priuiledg'd man, proceede Therſites.
Agamemnon is a foole, Achilles is a foole, Therſites is a foole, and as aforeſaid,
Deriue this? come?
Agamemnon is a foole to offer to command Achilles, Achilles is a foole to be commanded of
Why am I a foole?
Make that demand to the Creator, it ſuffiſes me thou art. Looke you, who comes here?
Patroclus, Ile ſpeake with no body: come in with me Therſites.
Here is ſuch patcherie, ſuch iugling, and ſuch knauerie: all the argument is a Cuckold and a Whore, a good quarrel to draw emulations, factions, and bleede to death vpon: Now the dry Suppeago on the Subiect, and Warre and Lecherie confound all.
Where is Achilles?
Within his Tent, but ill diſpoſ'd my Lord.
I ſhall ſo ſay to him.
Yes, Lyon ſicke, ſicke of proud heart; you may call it Melancholly if will fauour the man, but by my head, it is pride; but why, why, let him ſhow vs the cauſe? A word my Lord.
What moues Aiax thus to bay at him?
Achillis hath inueigled his Foole from him.
Who, Therſites?
He.
Then will Aiax lacke matter, if he haue loſt his Argument.
No, you ſee he is his argument that has his arguAchilles.
All the better, their fraction is more our wiſh then their faction; but it was a ſtrong counſell that a Foole could diſunite.
The amitie that wiſedome knits, not folly may eaſily vntie.
No Achilles with him?
I ſhall, and bring his anſwere preſently.
What is he more then another?
No more then what he thinkes he is.
Is he ſo much, doe you not thinke, he thinkes himſelfe a better man then I am?
No queſtion.
Will you ſubſcribe his thought, and ſay he is?
No, Noble Aiax, you are as ſtrong, as valiant, as wiſe, no leſſe noble, much more gentle, and altogether more tractable
Why ſhould a man be proud? How doth pride grow? I know not what it is.
Your minde is the cleerer Aiax, and your vertues the fairer; he that is proud, eates vp himſelfe; Pride is his owne Glaſſe, his owne trumpet, his owne Chronicle, and what euer praiſes it ſelfe but in the deede, deuoures the deede in the praiſe.
I do hate a proud man, as I hate the ingendring of Toades.
Yet
Achilles will not to the field to morrow.
What's his excuſe?
O this is well, he rubs the veine of him.
And how his ſilence drinkes vp this applauſe.
If I goe to him, with my armed fiſt, Ile paſh him ore the face.
O no, you ſhall not goe.
And a be proud with me, ile pheſe his pride: let me goe to him.
Not for the worth that hangs vpon our quarrel.
A paultry inſolent fellow.
How he deſcribes himſelfe.
Can he not be ſociable?
The Rauen chides blackneſſe.
Ile let his humours bloud.
He will be the Phyſitian that ſhould be the pa
And all men were a my minde.
Wit would be out of faſhion.
A ſhould not beare it ſo, a ſhould eate Swords firſt: ſhall pride carry it?
And 'twould, you'ld carry halfe.
A would haue ten ſhares.
I will knede him, Ile make him ſupple, hee's not yet through warme.
Force him with praiſes, poure in, poure in: his am
My L. you feede too much on this diſlike.
Our noble Generall, doe not doe ſo.
You muſt prepare to fight without Achilles.
'Know the whole world, he is as valiant.
A horſon dog, that ſhal palter thus with vs, would he were a Troian.
What a vice were it in Aiax now—
If he were proud.
Or couetous of praiſe.
I, or ſurley borne.
Or ſtrange, or ſelfe affected.
Shall I call you Father?
I my good Sonne.
Be rul'd by him Lord Aiax.
Friend, you, pray you a word: Doe not you folParis?
I ſir, when he goes before me.
You depend vpon him I meane?
Sir, I doe depend vpon the Lord.
You depend vpon a noble Gentleman: I muſt needes praiſe him.
The Lord be praiſed.
You know me, doe you not?
Faith ſir, ſuperficially.
Friend know me better, I am the Lord Pandarus.
I hope I ſhall know your honour better.
I doe deſire it.
You are in the ſtate of Grace?
Grace, not ſo friend, honor and Lordſhip are my title: What Muſique is this?
I doe but partly know ſir: it is Muſicke in parts.
Know you the Muſitians.
Wholly ſir.
Who play they to?
To the hearers ſir.
At whoſe pleaſure friend?
At mine ſir, and theirs that loue Muſicke.
Command, I meane friend.
Who ſhall I command ſir?
Friend, we vnderſtand not one another: I am too courtly, and thou art too cunning. At whoſe requeſt doe theſe men play?
That's too't indeede ſir: marry ſir, at the requeſt of Paris my L. who's there in perſon; with him the morVenus, the heart bloud of beauty, loues inuiſible ſoule.
Who? my Coſin Creſſida.
No ſir, Helen, could you not finde out that by her attributes?
It ſhould ſeeme fellow, that thou haſt not ſeen the Lady Creſſida. I come to ſpeake with Paris from the Prince Troylus: I will make a complementall aſſault vpon him, for my buſineſſe ſeethes.
Sodden buſineſſe, there's a ſtewed phraſe indeede.
Faire be to you my Lord, and to all this faire com
Deere L. you are full of faire words.
You ſpeake your faire pleaſure ſweete Queene: faire Prince, here is good broken Muſicke.
You haue broke it cozen: and by my life you ſhall make it whole againe, you ſhall peece it out with a peece of your performance. Nel, he is full of harmony.
Truely Lady no.
O ſir.
Rude in ſooth, in good ſooth very rude.
Well ſaid my Lord: well, you ſay ſo in fits.
I haue buſineſſe to my Lord, deere Queene: my Lord will you vouchſafe me a word.
Nay, this ſhall not hedge vs out, weele heare you ſing certainely.
Well, ſweete Queene you are pleaſant with me, but, marry thus my Lord, my deere Lord, and moſt eſteeTroylus.
My Lord Pandarus, hony ſweete Lord.
Sweete Queene, ſweete Queene, that's a ſweete Queene I faith—
And to make a ſweet Lady ſad, is a ſower offence.
Nay, that ſhall not ſerue your turne, that ſhall it not in truth la. Nay, I care not for ſuch words, no, no. And my Lord he deſires you, that if the King call for him at Supper, you will make his excuſe.
My Lord Pandarus?
What ſaies my ſweete Queene, my very, very ſweete Queene?
What exploit's in hand, where ſups he to night?
Nay but my Lord?
What ſaies my ſweere Queene? my cozen will fall out with you.
You muſt not know where he ſups.
With my diſpoſer Creſsida.
No, no; no ſuch matter, you are wide, come your diſpoſer is ſicke.
Well, Ile make excuſe.
I good my Lord: why ſhould you ſay Creſsida? no, your poore diſpoſer's ſicke.
I ſpie.
Why this is kindely done?
My Neece is horrible in loue with a thing you haue ſweete Queene.
She ſhall haue it my Lord, if it be not my Lord Paris.
Hee? no, ſheele none of him, they two are twaine.
Falling in after falling out, may make them three.
Come, come, Ile heare no more of this, Ile ſing you a ſong now.
I, I, prethee now: by my troth ſweet Lord thou haſt a fine fore-head.
I you may, you may.
Loue? I that it ſhall yfaith.
I, good now loue, loue, no thing but loue.
In good troth it begins ſo.
Loue, loue, nothing but loue, ſtill more: For O loues Bow, Shootes Bucke and Doe: The Shaft confounds not that it wounds, But tickles ſtill the ſore: Theſe Louers cry, oh ho they dye; Yet that which ſeemes the wound to kill, Doth turne oh ho, to ha ha he: So dying loue liues ſtill, O ho a while, but ha ha ha, O ho grones out for ha ha ha—hey ho.
In loue yfaith to the very tip of the noſe.
He eates nothing but doues loue, and that breeds hot bloud, and hot bloud begets hot thoughts, and hot thoughts beget hot deedes, and hot deedes is loue.
Is this the generation of loue? Hot bloud, hot thoughts, and hot deedes, why they are Vipers, is Loue a generation of Vipers?
Sweete Lord whoſe a field to day?
Hector, Deiphoebus, Helenus, Anthenor, and all the gallantry of Troy. I would faine haue arm'd to day, but my Nell would not haue it ſo.
How chance my brother Troylus went not?
He hangs the lippe at ſomething; you know all Lord Pandarus?
To a hayre.
Farewell ſweete Queene.
Commend me to your Neece.
I will ſweete Queene.
How now, where's thy Maiſter, at my Couzen Creſsidas?
No ſir, he ſtayes for you to conduct him thither.
O here he comes: How now, how now?
Sirra walke off.
Haue you ſeene my Couſin?
Walke here ith' Orchard, Ile bring her ſtraight.
Shee's making her ready, ſheele come ſtraight; you muſt be witty now, ſhe does ſo bluſh, & fetches her winde ſo ſhort, as if ſhe were fraid with a ſprite: Ile fetch her; it is the prettieſt villaine, ſhe fetches her breath ſo ſhort as a new tane Sparrow.
Come, come, what neede you bluſh?
Shames a babie; here ſhe is now, ſweare the oathes now to her, that you haue ſworne to me. What are you gone a
You haue bereft me of all words Lady.
Words pay no debts; giue her deedes: but ſheele bereaue you 'oth' deeds too, if ſhee call your actiuity in queſtion: what billing againe? here's in witneſſe where
Will you walke in my Lord?
O Creſsida, how often haue I wiſht me thus?
Wiſht my Lord? the gods grant? O my Lord.
What ſhould they grant? what makes this pret
More dregs then water, if my eares haue eyes.
Feares make diuels of Cherubins, they neuer ſee truely.
Blinde feare, that ſeeing reaſon leads, findes ſafe footing, then blinde reaſon, ſtumbling without feare: to feare the worſt, oft cures the worſe.
Not nothing monſtrous neither?
Nothing but our vndertakings, when we vowe to weepe ſeas, liue in fire, eate rockes, tame Tygers; think
They ſay all Louers ſweare more performance then they are able, and yet reſerue an ability that they neuer performe: vowing more then the perfection of ten; and diſcharging leſſe then the tenth part of one. They that haue the voyce of Lyons, and the act of Hares: are they not Monſters?
Are there ſuch? ſuch are not we: Praiſe vs as we are taſted, allow vs as we proue: our head ſhall goe bare till merit crowne it: no perfection in reuerſion ſhall haue a praiſe in preſent: wee will not name deſert before his birth, and being borne his addition ſhall be humble: few words to faire faith. Troylus ſhall be ſuch to Creſſid, as what enuie can ſay worſt, ſhall be a mocke for his truth; and what truth can ſpeake trueſt, not truer then Troylus.
Will you walke in my Lord?
What bluſhing ſtill? haue you not done talking yet?
Well Vnckle, what folly I commit, I dedicate to you.
I thanke you for that: if my Lord get a Boy of you, youle giue him me: be true to my Lord, if he flinch, chide me for it.
You know now your hoſtages: your Vnckles word and my firme faith.
Nay, Ile giue my word for her too: our kindred though they be long ere they are wooed, they are con
Boldneſſe comes to mee now, and brings mee heart: Prince Troylus, I haue lou'd you night and day, for many weary moneths.
Why was my Creſsid then ſo hard to win?
And ſhall, albeit ſweete Muſicke iſſues thence.
Pretty yfaith.
Your leaue ſweete Creſſid?
Leaue: and you take leaue till to morrow mor
Pray you content you.
What offends you Lady?
Sir, mine owne company.
You cannot ſhun your ſelfe.
Well know they what they ſpeake, that ſpeakes ſo wiſely.
In that Ile warre with you.
Go too, a bargaine made: ſeale it, ſeale it, Ile be the witneſſe here I hold your hand: here my Couſins, feuer you proue falſe one to another, ſince I haue taken ſuch paines to bring you together, let all pittifull goers betweene be cal'd to the worlds end after my name: call them all Panders; let all conſtant men be Troyluſſes, all falſe women Creſſids, and all brokers betweene, Panders: ſay, Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Amen.
Whereupon I will ſhew you a Chamber, which bed, be
What would'ſt thou of vs Troian? make demand?
What ſaies Achilles, would he ought with vs?
Would you my Lord ought with the Generall?
No.
Nothing my Lord.
The better.
Good day, good day.
How doe you? how doe you?
What, do's the Cuckold ſcorne me?
How now Patroclus?
Good morrow Aiax?
Ha.
Good morrow.
I, and good next day too.
What meane theſe fellowes? know they not Achilles?
Now great Thetis Sonne.
What are you reading?
Ha? knowne?
Shall Aiax fight with Hector?
I, and perhaps receiue much honor by him.
A wonder.
What?
Aiax goes vp and downe the field, asking for himſelfe.
How ſo?
Hee muſt fight ſingly to morrow with Hector, and is ſo prophetically proud of an heroicall cudgelling, that he raues in ſaying nothing.
How can that be?
Why he ſtalkes vp and downe like a Peacock, a ſtride and a ſtand: ruminates like an hoſteſſe, that hath no Arithmatique but her braine to ſet downe her reckoHector breake not his necke i' th' comAiax; And he replyes, thankes Agamemnon, What thinke you of this man, that takes me for the Generall? Hee's growne a very land-fiſh, languageleſſe, a monſter: a plague of o
Thou muſt be my Ambaſſador to him Therſites.
Who, I: whyPatroclus make his demands to me, you ſhall ſee the Page
To him Patroclus; tell him, I humbly deſire the valiant Aiax, to inuite the moſt valorous Hector, to come vnarm'd to my Tent, and to procure ſafe conduct for his perſon, of the magnanimious and moſt illuſtrious, ſixe or feauen times honour'd Captaine, Generall of the Grecian Armie Agamemnon, &c. doe this.
Ioue bleſſe great Aiax.
Hum.
I come from the worthy Achilles.
Ha?
Who moſt humbly deſires you to inuite Hector to his Tent.
Hum.
And to procure ſafe conduct from Agamemnon.
Agamemnon?
I my Lord.
Ha?
What ſay you too't.
God buy you with all my heart.
Your anfwer ſir.
If to morrow be a faire day, by eleuen a clocke it will goe one way or other; howſoeuer, he ſhall pay for me ere he has me.
Your anſwer ſir.
Fare you well withall my heart.
Why, but he is not in this tune, is he?
No, but he's out a tune thus: what muſicke will be in him when Hector has knockt out his braines, I know not: but I am ſure none, vnleſſe the Fidler Apollo get his ſinewes to make catlings on.
Come, thou ſhalt beare a Letter to him ſtraight.
Let me carry another to his Horſe; for that's the more capable creature.
Would the Fountaine of your minde were cleere againe, that I might water an Aſſe at it: I had rather be a Ticke in a Sheepe, then ſuch a valiant ignorance.
See hoa, who is that there?
It is the Lord Aeneas.
That's my minde too: good morrow Lord Aeneas.
We know each other well.
We doe, and long to know each other worſe.
I was ſent for to the King; but why, I know not.
Good morrow all.
You are too bitter to your country-woman.
Deere trouble not your ſelfe: the morne is cold.
Good morrow then.
I prithee now to bed.
Are you a weary of me?
Night hath beene too briefe.
What's all the doores open here?
It is your Vnckle.
Come, come, beſhrew your heart: youle nere be good, nor ſuffer others.
Ha, ha: alas poore wretch: a poore Chipochia, haſt not ſlept to night? would he not (a naughty man) let it ſleepe: a bug-beare take him.
Did not I tell you? would he were knockt ith' head. Who's that at doore? good Vnckle goe and ſee.
Ha, ha.
Who's there? what's the matter? will you beate downe the doore? How now, what's the matter?
Good morrow Lord, good morrow.
Who's there my Lord Aeneas? by my troth I knew you not: what newes with you ſo early?
Is not Prince Troylus here?
Here? what ſhould he doe here?
Is he here ſay you? 'tis more then I know, Ile be ſworne: For my owne part I came in late: what ſhould he doe here?
Who, nay then: Come, come, youle doe him wrong, ere y' are ware: youle be ſo true to him, to be falſe to him: Doe not you know of him, but yet goe fetch him hither, goe.
How now, what's the matter?
Is it concluded ſo?
Is't poſſible? no ſooner got but loſt: the diuell take Anthenor; the yong Prince will goe mad: a plague vpon Anthenor; I would they had brok's necke.
How now? what's the matter? who was here?
Ah, ha!
Why ſigh you ſo profoundly? wher's my Lord? gone? tell me ſweet Vnckle, what's the matter?
Would I were as deepe vnder the earth as I am aboue.
O the gods! what's the matter?
Prythee get thee in: would thou had'ſt nere been borne; I knew thou would'ſt be his death. O poore GenAnthenor.
Good Vnckle I beſeech you, on my knees, I be
Thou muſt be gone wench, thou muſt be gone; thou art chang'd for Anthenor: thou muſt to thy Father, and be gone from Troylus: 'twill be his death: 'twill be his baine, he cannot beare it
O you immortall gods! I will not goe.
Thou muſt.
Doe, doe.
Be moderate, be moderate.
Here, here, here, he comes, a ſweet ducke.
O Troylus, Troylus!
What a paire of ſpectacles is here? let me em
Haue the gods enuie?
I, I, I, I, 'tis too plaine a caſe.
And is it true, that I muſt goe from Troy?
A hatefull truth.
What, and from Troylus too?
From Troy, and Troylus.
Iſt poſſible?
My Lord, is the Lady ready?
Where are my teares? raine, to lay this winde, or my heart will be blowne vp by the root.
I muſt then to the Grecians?
No remedy.
A wofull Creſſid 'mong'ſt the merry Greekes.
When ſhall we ſee againe?
Here me my loue: be thou but true of heart.
I true? how now? what wicked deeme is this?
O heauens: be true againe?
O heauens, you loue me not!
Doe you thinke I will:
Nay, good my Lord?
Come kiſſe, and let vs part.
Brother Troylus?
My Lord, will you be true?
Harke, Hectors Trumpet.
'Tis Troylus fault: come, come, to field with him.
Let vs make ready ſtraight.
No Trumpet anſwers.
'Tis but early dayes.
Is not yong Diomed with Calcas daughter?
Is this the Lady Creſſid?
Euen ſhe.
Moſt deerely welcome to the Greekes, ſweete Lady.
Our Generall doth ſalute you with a kiſſe.
Yet is the kindeneſſe but particular; 'twere bet
And very courtly counſell: Ile begin. So much for Neſtor.
Ile take that winter from your lips faire Lady Achilles bids you welcome.
I had good argument for kiſſing once.
Oh this is trim.
Paris and I kiſſe euermore for him.
Ile haue my kiſſe ſir: Lady by your leaue.
In kiſſing doe you render, or receiue.
Both take and giue.
Ile giue you boote, Ile giue you three for one.
You are an odde man, giue euen, or giue none.
An odde man Lady, euery man is odde.
You fillip me a' th' head.
No, Ile be ſworne.
You may.
I doe deſire it.
Why begge then?
I am your debtor, claime it when 'tis due.
Neuer's my day, and then a kiſſe of you.
Lady a word, Ile bring you to your Father.
A woman of quicke ſence.
The Troians Trumpet.
Yonder comes the troope.
Which way would Hector haue it?
He cares not, heele obey conditions.
If not Achilles ſir, what is your name?
If not Achilles, nothing.
A maiden battaile then? O I perceiue you.
They are oppos'd already.
What Troian is that ſame that lookes ſo heauy?
They are in action.
Now Aiax hold thine owne.
Hector, thou ſleep'ſt, awake thee.
His blowes are wel diſpos'd there Aiax.
You muſt no more.
Princes enough, ſo pleaſe you.
I am not warme yet, let vs fight againe.
As Hector pleaſes.
Great Agamemnon comes to meete vs here.
I thanke thee moſt imperious Agamemnon.
My well-fam'd Lord of Troy, no leſſe to you.
Who muſt we anſwer?
The Noble Menelaus.
Name her not now ſir, ſhe's a deadly Theame.
O pardon, I offend.
'Tis the old Neſtor.
I would they could.
Ha? by this white beard I'ld fight with thee to morrow. Well, welcom, welcome: I haue ſeen the time.
Is this Achilles?
I am Achilles.
Stand faire I prythee, let me looke on thee.
Behold thy fill.
Nay, I haue done already.
I tell thee yea.
Thy hand vpon that match.
Heere comes Therſites.
Why thou picture of what thou ſeem'ſt, & I doll of Ideot-worſhippers, here's a Letter for thee.
From whence, Fragment?
Why thou full diſh of Foole, from Troy.
Who keepes the Tent now?
The Surgeons box, or the Patients wound.
Well ſaid aduerſity, and what need theſe tricks?
Prythee be ſilent boy, I profit not by thy talke, thou art thought to be Achilles male Varlot.
Male Varlot you Rogue? What's that?
Why his maſculine Whore. Now the rotten diſeaſes of the South, guts-griping Ruptures, Catarres, Loades a grauell i' th' backe, Lethargies, cold Palſies, and the like, take and take againe, ſuch prepoſtrous diſcoue
Why thou damnable box of enuy thou, what mean'ſt thou to curſe thus?
Do I curſe thee?
Why no, you ruinous But, you whorſon indi
No? why art thou then exaſperate, thou idle, immateriall skiene of Sleyd ſilke; thou greene Sarcenet flap for a ſore eye, thou taſſell of a Prodigals purſe thou:
Ah how the poore world is peſtred with ſuch water-flies, diminutiues of Nature.
Out gall.
Finch Egge.
With too much bloud, and too little Brain, theſe two may run mad: but if with too much braine, and too little blood, they do, Ile be a curer of madmen. Heere's Agamemnon, an honeſt fellow enough, and one that loues Quailes, but he has not ſo much Braine as eare-wax; and the goodly transformation of Iupiter there his Brother, the Bull, the primatiue Statue, and oblique memoriall of Cuckolds, a thrifty ſhooing-horne in a chaine, hanging at his Brothers legge, to what forme but that he is, ſhold wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turne him too: to an Aſſe were nothing; hee is both Aſſe and Oxe; to an Oxe were nothing, hee is both Oxe and Aſſe: to be a Dogge, a Mule, a Cat, a Fitchew, a Toade, a LiMenelaus, I would conſpire againſt Deſtiny. Aske me not what I would be, if I were not Therſites: ſot I care not to bee the lowſe of a Lazar, ſo I were not Menelaus. Hoy-day, ſpirits and fires.
We go wrong, we go wrong.
No yonder'tis, there where we ſee the light.
I trouble you.
No, not a whit.
Heere comes himſelfe to guide you?
Welcome braue Hector, welcome Princes all.
Thanks, and goodnight to the Greeks general.
Goodnight my Lord.
Goodnight ſweet Lord Menelaus.
Sweet draught: ſweet quoth-a? ſweet ſinke, ſweet ſure.
Goodnight and welcom, both at once, to thoſe that go, or tarry.
Goodnight.
Giue me your hand.
Sweet ſir, you honour me.
And ſo good night.
Come, come, enter my Tent.
That ſame Diomed's a falſe-hearted Rogue, a moſt vniuſt Knaue; I will no more truſt him when hee leeres, then I will a Serpent when he hiſſes: he will ſpend his mouth & promiſe, like Brabler the Hound; but when he performes, Aſtronomers foretell it, that it is prodigiDiomed keepes his word. I will raHector, then not to dogge him: they ſay, he keepes a Troyan Drab, and vſes the Traitour Chalcas his Tent. Ile after—Nothing but Letcherie? All incontinent Varlets.
What are you vp here ho? ſpeake?
Who cals?
Diomed, Chalcas (I thinke) wher's you Daughter?
She comes to you.
Stand where the Torch may not diſcouer vs.
Creſsid comes forth to him.
How now my charge?
Now my ſweet gardian: harke a word with you.
Yea, ſo familiar?
She will ſing any man at firſt ſight.
And any man may finde her, if he can take her life: ſhe's noted.
Will you remember?
Remember? yes.
Nay, but doe then; and let your minde be cou
What ſhould ſhe remember?
Liſt?
Sweete hony Greek, tempt me no more to folly.
Roguery.
Nay then.
Ile tell you what.
Fo, fo, come tell a pin, you are a forſworne.—
In faith I cannot: what would you haue me do?
A iugling tricke, to be ſecretly open.
What did you ſweare you would beſtow on me?
Good night.
Hold, patience.
How now Troian?
Diomed.
No, no, good night: Ile be your foole no more.
Thy better muſt.
Harke one word in your eare.
O plague and madneſſe!
Behold, I pray you.
I pray thee ſtay?
You haue not patience, come.
And ſo good night.
Nay, but you part in anger.
Doth that grieue thee? O withered truth!
Why, how now Lord?
By Ioue I will be patient.
Gardian? why Greeke?
Fo, fo, adew, you palter,
In faith I doe not: come hither once againe.
You ſhake my Lord at ſomething; will you goe? you will breake out.
She ſtroakes his cheeke.
Come, come.
How the diuell Luxury with his fat rumpe and potato finger, tickles theſe together: frye lechery, frye.
But will you then?
In faith I will lo; neuer truſt me elſe.
Giue me ſome token for the ſurety of it.
Ile fetch you one.
You haue ſworne patience.
Now the pledge, now, now, now.
Here Diomed, keepe this Sleeue.
O beautie! where is thy Faith?
My Lord.
I will be patient, outwardly I will.
Whoſe was't?
Now ſhe ſharpens: well ſaid Whetſtone.
I ſhall haue it.
What, this?
I that.
Nay, doe not ſnatch it from me.
He that takes that, rakes my heart withall.
I had your heart before, this followes it.
I did ſweare patience.
I will haue this: whoſe was it?
It is no matter.
Come tell me whoſe it was?
Whoſe was it?
I doe not like this fooling.
Nor I by Pluto: but that that likes not me, plea
What ſhall I come? the houre.
I, come: O Ioue! doe, come: I ſhall be plagu'd.
Farewell till then.
Al's done my Lord.
It is.
Why ſtay we then?
I cannot coniure Troian.
She was not ſure.
Moſt ſure ſhe was.
Why my negation hath no taſte of madneſſe?
Nor mine my Lord: Creſſid was here but now.
What hath ſhe done Prince, that can ſoyle our mothers?
Nothing at all, vnleſſe that this were ſhe.
Will he ſwagger himſelfe out on's owne eyes?
Heele tickle it for his concupie.
Ile bring you to the Gates.
Accept diſtracted thankes.
Would I could meete that roague Diomed, I would croke like a Rauen: I would bode, I would bode: Patroclus will giue me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the Parrot will not doe more for an Almond, then he for a commodious drab: Lechery, lechery, ſtill warres and lechery, nothing elſe holds faſhion. A burning diuell take them.
My dreames will ſure proue ominous to the day.
No more I ſay.
Where is my brother Hector?
O, 'tis true.
Ho? bid my Trumpet ſound.
No notes of ſallie, for the heauens, ſweet brother.
Begon I ſay: the gods haue heard me ſweare.
Caſſandra, call my father to perſwade.
What vice is that? good Troylus chide me for it.
O 'tis faire play.
Fooles play, by heauen Hector.
How now? how now?
Fie ſauage, fie.
Hector, then 'tis warres.
Troylus, I would not haue you fight to day.
I, but thou ſhalt not goe,
O Priam, yeelde not to him.
Doe not deere father.
Away, away.
Farewell: the gods with ſafetie ſtand about thee.
Doe you heare my Lord? do you heare?
What now?
Here's a Letter come from yond poore girle.
Let me reade.
A whorſon tiſicke, a whorſon raſcally tiſicke, ſo troubles me; and the fooliſh fortune of this girle, and what one thing, what another, that I ſhall leaue you one o' th's dayes: and I haue a rheume in mine eyes too; and ſuch an ache in my bones; that vnleſſe a man were curſt, I cannot tell what to thinke on't. What ſayes ſhee there?
Why, but heare you?
Now they are clapper-clawing one another, Ile goe looke on: that diſſembling abhominable varlet Diomede, has got that ſame ſcuruie, doting, fooliſh yong knaues Sleeue of Troy, there in his Helme: I would faine ſee them meet; that, that ſame yong Troian aſſe, that loues the whore there, might ſend that Greekiſh whore-mai
Soft, here comes Sleeue, and th' other.
Hold thy whore Grecian: now for thy whore Troian: Now the Sleeue, now the Sleeue.
No, no: I am a raſcall: a ſcuruie railing knaue: a very filthy roague.
I doe beleeue thee, liue.
God a mercy, that thou wilt beleeue me; but a plague breake thy necke—for frighting me: what's be
I goe my Lord.
Troylus, thou coward Troylus.
I, there, there.
So, ſo, we draw together.
Troylus, thou coward Troylus, ſhew thy head.
Troylus, I ſay, wher's Troylus?
What would'ſt thou?
I would correct him.
Ha, art thou there?
Ile fight with him alone, ſtand Diomed.
He is my prize, I will not looke vpon.
Come both you coging Greekes, haue at you both.
Yea Troylus? O well fought my yongeſt Brother.
Now doe I ſee thee; haue at thee Hector.
Pauſe if thou wilt.
The Cuckold and the Cuckold maker are at it: now bull, now dogge, lowe; Paris lowe; now my douParis, lowe; the bull has the game: ware hornes ho?
Turne ſlaue and fight.
What art thou?
A Baſtard Sonne of Priams.
I am a Baſtard too, I loue Baſtards, I am a Ba
The diuell take thee coward.
I am vnarm'd, forgoe this vantage Greeke.
The Troian Trumpets ſounds the like my Lord.
Harke, harke, what ſhout is that?
Peace Drums.
Achilles, Achilles, Hector's ſlaine, Achilles.
The bruite is, Hector's ſlaine, and by Achilles.
Hector is ſlaine.
Hector? the gods forbid.
My Lord, you doe diſcomfort all the Hoſte.
But heare you? heare you?
A goodly medcine for mine aking bones: oh world, world, world! thus is the poore agent diſp
Speake, ſpeake.
You are all reſolu'd rather to dy then to famiſh?
Reſolu'd, reſolu'd.
Firſt you know, Caius Martius is chiefe enemy to the people.
We know't, we know't.
Let vs kill him, and wee'l haue Corne at our own price. Is't a Verdict?
No more talking on't; Let it be done, away, away
One word, good Citizens.
We are accounted poore Citizens, the Patri
Would you proceede eſpecially againſt Caius Martius.
Againſt him firſt: He's a very dog to the Com
Conſider you what Seruices he ha's done for his Country?
Very well, and could bee content to giue him good report for't, but that hee payes himſelfe with bee
Nay, but ſpeak not maliciouſly.
I ſay vnto you, what he hath done Famouſlie, he did it to that end: though ſoft conſcienc'd men can be content to ſay it was for his Countrey, he did it to pleaſe his Mother and to be partly proud, which he is, euen to the altitude of his vertue.
What he cannot helpe in his Nature, you ac
If I muſt not, I neede not be barren of Accuſa
What ſhowts are theſe? The other ſide a' th City is riſen: why ſtay we prating heere? To th' Capitoll.
Come, come.
Soft, who comes heere?
Worthy Menenius Agrippa, one that hath al
He's one honeſt enough, wold al the reſt wer ſo.
Our buſines is not vnknowne to th' Senat, they haue had inkling this fortnight what we intend to do, wt now wee'l ſhew em in deeds: they ſay poore Suters haue ſtrong breaths, they ſhal know we haue ſtrong arms too.
Why Maſters, my good Friends, mine honeſt Neighbours, will you vndo your ſelues?
We cannot Sir, we are vndone already.
Care for vs? True indeed, they nere car'd for vs yet. Suffer vs to famiſh, and their Store-houſes cramm'd with Graine: Make Edicts for Vſurie, to ſupport Vſu
Well ſir, what anſwer made the Belly.
Well, what then?
Y' are long about it.
I ſir, well, well.
It was an anſwer, how apply you this?
I the great Toe? Why the great Toe?
We haue euer your good word.
What is graunted them?
This is ſtrange.
Go get you home you Fragments.
Where's Caius Martius?
Heere: what's the matter?
The newes is ſir, the Volcies are in Armes.
You haue fought together?
It is your former promiſe.
Oh true-bred.
Lead you on: Follow Cominius, we muſt followe you, right worthy you Priority.
Noble Martius.
Hence to your homes, be gone.
Was euer man ſo proud as is this Martius?
He has no equall.
When we were choſen Tribunes for the people.
Mark'd you his lip and eyes.
Nay, but his taunts.
Being mou'd, he will not ſpare to gird the Gods.
Bemocke the modeſt Moone.
Such a Nature, tickled with good ſucceſſe, diſCominius?
Let's along.
The Gods aſsiſt you.
And keepe your Honors ſafe.
Farewell.
Farewell.
Farewell.
I pray you daughter ſing, or expreſſe your ſelfe in a more comfortable ſort: If my Sonne were my Huſ
But had he died in the Buſineſſe Madame, how then?
Then his good report ſhould haue beene my Sonne, I therein would haue found iſſue. Heare me proMartius, I had rather had eleuen dye Nobly for their Countrey, then one voluptuouſly ſurfet out of Action.
Madam, the Lady Valeria is come to viſit you.
Beſeech you giue me leaue to retire my ſelfe.
His bloody Brow? Oh Iupiter, no blood.
Heauens bleſſe my Lord from fell Auffidius.
My Ladies both good day to you.
Sweet Madam.
I am glad to ſee your Ladyſhip.
How do you both? You are manifeſt houſe-kee
I thanke your Lady-ſhip: Well good Madam.
He had rather ſee the ſwords, and heare a Drum, then looke vpon his Schoolmaſter.
A my word the Fathers Sonne: Ile ſweare 'tis a very pretty boy. A my troth, I look'd vpon him a Wenſ
One on's Fathers moods.
Indeed la, tis a Noble childe.
A Cracke Madam.
Come, lay aſide your ſtitchery, I muſt haue you play the idle Huſwife with me this afternoone.
Not out of doores?
She ſhall, ſhe ſhall.
Indeed no, by your patience; Ile not ouer the threſhold, till my Lord returne from the Warres.
I will wiſh her ſpeedy ſtrength, and viſite her with my prayers: but I cannot go thither.
Why I pray you.
'Tis not to ſaue labour, nor that I want loue.
You would be another Penelope: yet they ſay, all the yearne ſhe ſpun in Vliſſes abſence, did but fill Athica full of Mothes. Come, I would your Cambrick were ſen
No good Madam, pardon me, indeed I will not foorth.
In truth la go with me, and Ile tell you excellent newes of your Husband.
Oh good Madam, there can be none yet.
Verily I do not ieſt with you: there came newes from him laſt night.
Indeed Madam.
In earneſt it's true; I heard a Senatour ſpeake it. Thus it is: the Volcies haue an Army forth, againſt whoCominius the Generall is gone, with one part of our RoTitus Lartius, are ſet down before their Citie Carioles, they nothing doubt preuai
Giue me excuſe good Madame, I will obey you in euery thing heereafter.
Well, then farewell.
My horſe to yours, no.
Tis done.
Agreed.
Say, ha's our Generall met the Enemy?
They lye in view, but haue not ſpoke as yet.
So, the good Horſe is mine.
Ile buy him of you.
How farre off lie theſe Armies?
Within this mile and halfe.
Oh they are at it.
Their noiſe be our inſtruction. Ladders hoa.
Foole-hardineſſe, not I.
Nor I.
See they haue ſhut him in.
To th' pot I warrant him.
What is become of Martius?
Slaine (Sir) doubtleſſe.
Looke Sir.
This will I carry to Rome.
And I this.
A Murrain on't, I tooke this for Siluer.
Aboue an houre, my Lord.
Come I too late?
Come I too late?
Flower of Warriors, how is't with Titus Lartius?
But how preuail'd you?
Feare not our care Sir.
If I flye Martius, hollow me like a Hare.
Beare th' addition Nobly euer?
I ſhall, my Lord.
Tak't, 'tis yours: what is't?
Martius, his Name.
The Towne is ta'ne.
'Twill be deliuer'd backe on good Condition.
He's the diuell.
Will not you go?
I ſhall ſir.
The Agurer tels me, wee ſhall haue Newes to night.
Good or bad?
Not according to the prayer of the people, for they loue not Martius.
Nature teaches Beaſts to know their Friends.
Pray you, who does the Wolfe loue?
The Lambe.
I, to deuour him, as the hungry Plebeians would the Noble Martius.
He's a Lambe indeed, that baes like a Beare.
Well ſir.
In what enormity is Martius poore in, that you two haue not in abundance?
He's poore in no one fault, but ſtor'd withall.
Eſpecially in Pride.
And topping all others in boaſting.
This is ſtrange now: Do you two know, how you are cenſured heere in the City, I mean of vs a' th' right hand File, do you?
Why? ho ware we cenſur'd?
Becauſe you talke of Pride now, will you not be angry.
Well, well ſir, well.
Why 'tis no great matter: for a very little theefe of Occaſion, will rob you of a great deale of Patience: Giue your diſpoſitions the reines, and bee angry at your pleaſures (at the leaſt) if you take it as a pleaſure to you, in being ſo: you blame Martius for being proud.
We do it not alone, ſir.
I know you can doe very little alone, for your helpes are many, or elſe your actions would growe won
What then ſir?
Why then you ſhould diſcouer a brace of vn
Menenius, you are knowne well enough too.
I am knowne to be a humorous Patritian, and one that loues a cup of hot Wine, with not a drop of alayLicurguſſes,) if the drinke you giue me, touch my Pa
Come ſir come, we know you well enough.
You know neither mee, your ſelues, nor any thing: you are ambitious, for poore knaues cappes and legges: you weare out a good wholeſome Forenoone, in hearing a cauſe betweene an Orendge wife, and a Forſet
Come, come, you are well vnderſtood to bee a perfecter gyber for the Table, then a neceſſary Bencher in the Capitoll.
Our very Prieſts muſt become Mockers, if they ſhall encounter ſuch ridiculous Subiects as you are, when you ſpeake beſt vnto the purpoſe. It is not woorth the wagging of your Beards, and your Beards deſerue not ſo honourable a graue, as to ſtuffe a Botchers Cuſhion, or to be intomb'd in an Aſſes Packe-ſaddle; yet you muſt bee ſaying, Martius is proud: who in a cheape eſtimation, is worth all your predeceſſors, ſince Deucalion, though per
How now (my as faire as Noble) Ladyes, and the Moone were ſhee Earthly, no Nobler; whither doe you follow your Eyes ſo faſt?
Honorable Menenius, my Boy Martius approIuno let's goe.
Ha? Martius comming home?
I, worthy Menenius ▪
and with moſt proſperous approbation.
Take my Cappe Iupiter, and I thanke thee: hoo, Martius comming home?
Nay, 'tis true.
Looke, here's a Letter from him, the State hath another, his Wife another, and (I thinke) there's one at home for you.
Yes certaine, there's a Letter for you, I ſaw't.
A Letter for me? it giues me an Eſtate of ſeGalen, is but Emperick qutique; and to this Preſeruatiue, of no better report then a Horſe-drench. Is he not wounded? he was wont to come home wounded?
Oh no, no, no.
Oh, he is wounded, I thanke the Gods for't.
So doe I too, if it be not too much: brings a Victorie in his Pocket? the wounds become him.
On's Browes: Menenius, hee comes the third time home with the Oaken Garland.
Ha's he diſciplin'd Auffidius ſoundly?
Titus Lartius writes, they fought together, but Auffidius got off.
And 'twas time for him too, Ile warrant him that: and he had ſtay'd by him, I would not haue been ſo fiddious'd, for all the Cheſts in Carioles, and the Gold that's in them. Is the Senate poſſeſt of this?
Good Ladies let's goe. Yes, yes, yes: The Senate ha's Letters from the Generall, wherein hee giues my Sonne the whole Name of the Warre: he hath in this action out-done his former deeds doubly.
In troth, there's wondrous things ſpoke of him.
Wondrous: I, I warrant you, and not with
The Gods graunt them true.
True? pow waw.
True? Ile be ſworne they are true: where is hee wounded, God ſaue your good Worſhips? Martius is comming home: hee ha's more cauſe to be prowd: where is he wounded?
Ith' Shoulder, and ith' left Arme: there will be large Cicatrices to ſhew the People, when hee ſhall ſtand for his place: he receiued in the repulſe of Tarquin ſeuen hurts ith' Body.
One ith' Neck, and two ith' Thigh, there's nine that I know.
Hee had, before this laſt Expedition, twentie fiue Wounds vpon him.
Now it's twentie ſeuen; euery gaſh was an Enemies Graue. Hearke, the Trumpets.
Welcome to Rome, renowned Coriolanus.
No more of this, it does offend my heart: pray now no more.
Looke, Sir, your Mother.
Oh! you haue, I know, petition'd all the Gods for my proſperitie.
Now the Gods Crowne thee.
And liue you yet? Oh my ſweet Lady, pardon.
Euer right.
Menenius, euer, euer.
Giue way there, and goe on.
On, to the Capitall.
On the ſuddaine, I warrant him Conſull.
Then our Office may, during his power, goe ſleepe.
In that there's comfort.
'Tis right.
I wiſh no better, then haue him hold that pur
'Tis moſt like he will.
It ſhall be to him then, as our good wills; a ſure deſtruction.
What's the matter?
Haue with you.
Come, come, they are almoſt here: how many ſtand for Conſulſhips?
Three, they ſay: but 'tis thought of euery one, Coriolanus will carry it.
That's a braue fellow: but hee's vengeance prowd, and loues not the common people.
'Faith, there hath beene many great men that haue flatter'd the people, who ne're loued them; and there be many that they haue loued, they know not wherefore: ſo that if they loue they know not why, they hate vpon no better a ground. Therefore, for Coriolanus neyther to care whether they loue, or hate him, manifeſts the true knowledge he ha's in their diſpoſition, and out of his No
If he did not care whether he had their loue, or no, hee waued indifferently, 'twixt doing them neyther good, nor harme: but hee ſeekes their hate with greater deuotion, then they can render it him; and leaues nothing vndone, that may fully diſcouer him their oppoſite. Now to ſeeme to affect the mallice and diſpleaſure of the Peo
Hee hath deſerued worthily of his Countrey, and his aſſent is not by ſuch eaſie degrees as thoſe, who hauing beene ſupple and courteous to the People, Bon
No more of him, hee's a worthy man: make way, they are comming.
We are conuented vpon a pleaſing Treatie, and haue hearts inclinable to honor and aduance the Theame of our Aſſembly.
Which the rather wee ſhall be bleſt to doe, if he remember a kinder value of the People, then he hath hereto priz'd them at.
That's off, that's off: I would you rather had been ſilent: Pleaſe you to heare Cominius ſpeake?
Moſt willingly: but yet my Caution was more pertinent then the rebuke you giue it.
He loues your People, but tye him not to be their Bed-fellow: Worthie Cominius ſpeake.
Sir, I hope my words dis-bench'd you not?
Pray now ſit downe.
Worthy man.
He cannot but with meaſure fit the Honors which we deuiſe him.
Hee's right Noble, let him be call'd for.
Call Coriolanus.
He doth appeare.
The Senate, Coriolanus, are well pleas'd to make thee Conſull.
I doe owe them ſtill my Life, and Seruices.
It then remaines, that you doe ſpeake to the People.
Marke you that.
To Coriolanus come all ioy and Honor.
You ſee how he intends to vſe the people.
Once if he do require our voyces, wee ought not to deny him.
We may Sir if we will.
We haue power in our ſelues to do it, but it is a power that we haue no power to do: For, if hee ſhew vs his wounds, and tell vs his deeds, we are to put our ton
And to make vs no better thought of a little helpe will ſerue: for once we ſtood vp about the Corne, he himſelfe ſtucke not to call vs the many-headed Multi
We haue beene call'd ſo of many, not that our heads are ſome browne, ſome blacke, ſome Abram, ſome bald; but that our wits are ſo diuerſly Coulord; and true
Thinke you ſo? Which way do you iudge my wit would flye.
Nay your wit will not ſo ſoone out as another mans will, 'tis ſtrongly wadg'd vp in a blocke-head: but if it were at liberty, 'twould ſure Southward.
Why that way?
To looſe it ſelfe in a Fogge, where being three parts melted away with rotten Dewes, the fourth would returne for Conſcience ſake, to helpe to get thee a Wife.
You are neuer without your trickes, you may, you may.
Are you all reſolu'd to giue your voyces? But that's no matter, the greater part carries it, I ſay. If hee would incline to the people, there was neuer a worthier man.
Heere he comes, and in the Gowne of humility, marke his behauiour: we are not to ſtay altogether, but to come by him where he ſtands, by ones, by twoes, & by threes. He's to make his requeſts by particulars, wherein euerie one of vs ha's a ſingle Honor, in giuing him our own voi
Content, content.
We do Sir, tell vs what hath brought you too't.
Mine owne deſert.
Your owne deſert.
I, but mine owne deſire.
How not your owne deſire?
No Sir, 'twas neuer my deſire yet to trouble the poore with begging.
You muſt thinke if we giue you any thing, we hope to gaine by you.
Well then I pray, your price a' th' Conſulſhip.
The price is, to aske it kindly.
Kindly ſir, I pray let me ha't: I haue wounds to ſhew you, which ſhall bee yours in priuate: your good voice Sir, what ſay you?
You ſhall ha't worthy Sir.
A match Sir, there's in all two worthie voyces begg'd: I haue your Almes, Adieu.
But this is ſomething odde.
And 'twere to giue againe: but 'tis no matter.
Pray you now, if it may ſtand with the tune of your voices, that I may bee Conſull, I haue heere the Cuſtomarie Gowne.
You haue deſerued Nobly of your Countrey, and you haue not deſerued Nobly.
Your Aenigma.
You haue bin a ſcourge to her enemies, you haue bin a Rod to her Friends, you haue not indeede loued the Common people.
You ſhould account mee the more Vertuous, that I haue not bin common in my Loue, I will ſir flatter my ſworne Brother the people to earne a deerer eſtima
Wee hope to finde you our friend: and therefore giue you our voices heartily.
You haue receyued many wounds for your Coun
I wil not Seale your knowledge with ſhewing them. I will make much of your voyces, and ſo trouble you no farther.
The Gods giue you ioy Sir heartily.
Hee ha's done Nobly, and cannot goe without any honeſt mans Voyce.
Therefore let him be Conſull: the Gods giue him ioy, and make him good friend to the People.
Amen, Amen. God ſaue thee, Noble Conſull.
Worthy Voyces.
Is this done?
Where? at the Senate-houſe?
There, Coriolanus.
May I change theſe Garments?
You may, Sir.
Ile keepe you company. Will you along?
We ſtay here for the People.
Fare you well.
How now, my Maſters, haue you choſe this man?
He ha's our Voyces, Sir.
We pray the Gods, he may deſerue your loues.
Certainely, he flowted vs downe-right.
No, 'tis his kind of ſpeech, he did not mock vs.
Why ſo he did I am ſure.
No, no: no man ſaw 'em.
Hee's not confirm'd, we may deny him yet.
I twice fiue hundred & their friends, to piece 'em.
We will ſo: almoſt all repent in their election.
Tullus Auffidius then had made new head.
Saw you Auffidius?
Spoke he of me?
He did, my Lord.
How? what?
At Antium liues he?
At Antium.
Paſſe no further.
Hah? what is that?
It will be dangerous to goe on— No further.
What makes this change?
The matter?
Hath he not paſs'd the Noble, and the Common?
Cominius, no.
Haue I had Childrens Voyces?
Tribunes giue way, he ſhall toth' Market place.
The People are incens'd againſt him.
Stop, or all will fall in broyle.
Be calme, be calme.
Why this was knowne before.
Not to them all.
Haue you inform'd them ſithence?
How? I informe them?
You are like to doe ſuch buſineſſe.
Not vnlike each way to better yours.
Let's be calme.
Not now, not now.
Not in this heat, Sir, now.
Well, no more.
No more words, we beſeech you.
'Twere well we let the people know't.
What, what? His Choller?
'Twas from the Cannon.
Well, on to' th' Market place.
Well, well, no more of that.
Thogh there the people had more abſolute powre I ſay they noriſht diſobedience: fed, the ruin of the State.
Come enough.
Enough, with ouer meaſure.
Has ſaid enough.
Manifeſt Treaſon.
This a Conſull? No.
The Ediles hoe: Let him be apprehended:
Hence old Goat.
Wee'l Surety him.
Ag'd ſir, hands-off.
Helpe ye Citizens.
On both ſides more reſpect.
Heere's hee, that would take from you all your power.
Seize him Aediles.
Downe with him, downe with him.
Peace, peace, peace, ſtay, hold, peace.
Heare me, People peace.
Let's here our Tribune: peace, ſpeake, ſpeake, ſpeake.
Fie, fie, fie, this is the way to kindle, not to quench.
To vnbuild the Citie, and to lay all flat.
What is the Citie, but the People?
True, the People are the Citie.
By the conſent of all, we were eſtabliſh'd the Peoples Magiſtrates.
You ſo remaine.
And ſo are like to doe.
This deſerues Death.
Aediles ſeize him.
Yeeld Martius, yeeld.
Heare me one word, 'beſeech you Tribunes, heare me but a word.
Peace, peace.
Downe with that Sword, Tribunes withdraw a while.
Lay hands vpon him.
Helpe Martius, helpe: you that be noble, helpe him young and old.
Downe with him, downe with him.
Get you gone.
Stand faſt, we haue as many friends as enemies.
Shall it be put to that?
Come Sir, along with vs.
On faire ground, I could beat fortie of them.
I could my ſelfe take vp a Brace o' th' beſt of them, yea, the two Tribunes.
Nay, come away.
This man ha's marr'd his fortune.
I would they were a bed.
You worthy Tribunes.
He ſhall ſure out.
Sir, ſir.
Peace.
Conſull? what Conſull?
The Conſull Coriolanus.
He Conſull.
No, no, no, no, no.
He's a Diſeaſe that muſt be cut away.
This is cleane kamme.
If it were ſo?
Go not home.
Pray you let's to him.
You do the Nobler.
Let go.
Let them hang.
I, and burne too.
Come, come, you haue bin too rough, ſomthing too rough: you muſt returne, and mend it.
What muſt I do?
Returne to th' Tribunes.
Well, what then? what then?
Repent, what you haue ſpoke.
Tuſh, tuſh.
A good demand.
Why force you this?
Onely faire ſpeech.
I thinke 'twill ſerue, if he can thereto frame his ſpirit.
Come, come, wee'le prompt you.
Do your will.
I, but mildely.
Well mildely be it then, Mildely.
Hee's comming.
How accompanied?
I haue: 'tis ready.
Haue you collected them by Tribes?
I haue.
I ſhall informe them.
Very well.
Well, heere he comes.
Calmely, I do beſeech you.
Amen, Amen.
A Noble wiſh.
Draw neere ye people.
Firſt heare me ſpeake.
Well, ſay: Peace hoe.
I am Content.
Well, well, no more.
Anſwer to vs.
Say then: 'tis true, I ought ſo
How? Traytor?
Nay temperately: your promiſe.
Marke you this people?
To' th' Rocke, to' th' Rocke with him.
But ſince he hath ſeru'd well for Rome.
What do you prate of Seruice.
I talke of that, that know it.
You?
Is this the promiſe that you made your mother.
Know, I pray you.
Heare me my Maſters, and my common friends.
He's ſentenc'd: No more hearing.
We know your drift. Speake what?
It ſhall be ſo, it ſhall be ſo.
The peoples Enemy is gone, is gone.
Our enemy is baniſh'd, he is gone: Hoo, oo.
Oh heauens! O heauens!
Nay, I prythee woman.
O the Gods!
Giue me thy hand, come.
Diſmiſſe them home. Here comes his Mother.
Let's not meet her.
Why?
They ſay ſhe's mad.
They haue tane note of vs: keepe on your way.
Peace, peace, be not ſo loud.
Are you mankinde?
Oh bleſſed Heauens!
What then?
What then? Hee'ld make an end of thy poſterity
Come, come, peace.
I would he had.
Pray let's go.
Well, well, wee'l leaue you.
Fie, fie, fie.
I know you well ſir, and you know mee: your name I thinke is Adrian.
It is ſo ſir, truly I haue forgot you.
I am a Roman, and my Seruices are as you are, againſt 'em. Know you me yet.
Nicanor: no.
The ſame ſir.
You had more Beard when I laſt ſaw you, but your Fauour is well appear'd by your Tongue. What's the Newes in Rome: I haue a Note from the Volcean ſtate to finde you out there. You haue well ſaued mee a dayes iourney.
There hath beene in Rome ſtraunge Inſurrecti
Hath bin; is it ended then? Our State thinks not ſo, they are in a moſt warlike preparation, & hope to com vpon them, in the heate of their diuiſion
The maine blaze of it is paſt, but a ſmall thing would make it flame againe. For the Nobles receyue ſo to heart, the Baniſhment of that worthy Coriolanus, that they are in a ripe aptneſſe, to take al power from the peo
Coriolanus Baniſht?
Baniſh'd ſir.
You will be welcome with this intelligence Nicanor.
The day ſerues well for them now. I haue heard it ſaide, the fitteſt time to corrupt a mans Wife, is when ſhee's falne out with her Husband. Your Noble Tullus Auffidius well appeare well in theſe Warres, his great Oppoſer Coriolanus being now in no requeſt of his coun
He cannot chooſe: I am moſt fortunate, thus accidentally to encounter you. You haue ended my Bu
I ſhall betweene this and Supper, tell you moſt ſtrange things from Rome: all tending to the good of their Aduerſaries. Haue you an Army ready ſay you?
A moſt Royall one: The Centurions, and their charges diſtinctly billetted already in th' entertainment, and to be on foot at an houres warning.
I am ioyfull to heare of their readineſſe, and am the man I thinke, that ſhall ſet them in preſent Action. So ſir, heartily well met, and moſt glad of your Company.
You take my part from me ſir, I haue the moſt cauſe to be glad of yours.
Well, let vs go together.
And you.
Direct me, if it be your will, where great Auffidius lies: Is he in
He is, and Feaſts the Nobles of the State, at his houſe this night.
Which is his houſe, beſeech you?
This heere before you.
Wine, Wine, Wine: What ſeruice is heere? I thinke our Fellowes are aſleepe.
Where's Cotus: my M. cals for him: Cotus.
I haue deſeru'd no better entertainment, in beCoriolanus.
Whence are you ſir? Ha's the Porter his eyes in his head, that he giues entrance to ſuch Companions? Pray get you out.
Away.
Away? Get you away.
Now th' art troubleſome.
Are you ſo braue: Ile haue you talkt with anon
What Fellowes this?
A ſtrange one as euer I look'd on: I cannot get him out o' th' houſe: Prythee call my Maſter to him.
What haue you to do here fellow? Pray you auoid the houſe.
Let me but ſtand, I will not hurt your Harth.
What are you?
A Gentleman.
A maru'llous poore one.
True, ſo I am.
Pray you poore Gentleman, take vp ſome other ſta
Follow your Function, go, and batten on colde bits.
What you will not? Prythee tell my Maiſter what a ſtrange Gueſt he ha's heere.
And I ſhall.
Where dwel'ſt thou?
Vnder the Canopy.
Vnder the Canopy?
I.
Where's that?
I' th City of Kites and Crowes.
I' th City of Kites and Crowes? What an Aſſe it is, then thou dwel'ſt with Dawes too?
No, I ſerue not thy Maſter.
How ſir? Do you meddle with my Maſter?
I, tis an honeſter ſeruice, then to meddle with thy Miſtris: Thou prat'ſt, and prat'ſt, ſerue with thy tren
Where is this Fellow?
Here ſir, I'de haue beaten him like a dogge, but for diſturbing the Lords within.
If Tullus not yet thou know'ſt me, and ſeeing me, doſt not thinke me for the man I am, neceſſitie com
What is thy name?
Prepare thy brow to frowne: knowſt yu me yet?
I know thee not? Thy Name?
You bleſſe me Gods.
Heere's a ſtrange alteration?
By my hand, I had thoght to haue ſtroken him with a Cudgell, and yet my minde gaue me, his cloathes made a falſe report of him.
What an Arme he has, he turn'd me about with his finger and his thumbe, as one would ſet vp a Top.
Nay, I knew by his face that there was ſome-thing in him. He had fir, a kinde of face me thought, I cannot
He had ſo, looking as it were, would I were hang'd but I thought there was more in him, then I could think.
So did I, Ile be ſworne: He is ſimply the rareſt man i' th' world.
Who my Maſter?
Nay, it's no matter for that.
Worth ſix on him.
Nay not ſo neither: but I take him to be the greater Souldiour.
Faith looke you, one cannot tell how to ſay that: for the Defence of a Towne, our Generall is excellent.
I, and for an aſſault too.
Oh Slaues, I can tell you Newes, News you Raſcals
What, what, what? Let's partake.
I would not be a Roman of all Nations; I had as liue be a condemn'd man.
Wherefore? Wherefore?
Why here's he that was wont to thwacke our GeCaius Martius.
Why do you ſay, thwacke our Generall?
I do not ſay thwacke our Generall, but he was al
Come we are fellowes and friends: he was euer too hard for him, I haue heard him ſay ſo himſelfe.
He was too hard for him directly, to ſay the Troth on't before Corioles, he ſcotcht him, and notcht him like a Carbinado.
And hee had bin Cannibally giuen, hee might haue boyld and eaten him too.
But more of thy Newes.
Why he is ſo made on heere within, as if hee were Son and Heire to Mars, ſet at vpper end o' th' Table: No queſtion askt him by any of the Senators, but they ſtand bald before him. Our Generall himſelfe makes a Miſtris of him, Sanctifies himſelfe with's hand, and turnes vp the white o' th' eye to his Diſcourſe. But the bottome of the Newes is, our Generall is cut i' th' middle, & but one halfe of what he was yeſterday. For the other ha's halfe, by the intreaty and graunt of the whole Table. Hee'l go he ſayes, and ſole the Porter of Rome Gates by th' eares. He will mowe all downe before him, and leaue his paſſage poul'd.
And he's as like to do't, as any man I can imagine.
Doo't? he will doo't: for look you ſir, he has as ma
Directitude? What's that?
But when they ſhall ſee ſir, his Creſt vp againe, and the man in blood, they will out of their Burroughes (like Conies after Raine) and reuell all with him.
But when goes this forward:
To morrow, to day, preſently, you ſhall haue the Drum ſtrooke vp this afternoone: 'Tis as it were a parcel of their Feaſt, and to be executed ere they wipe their lips.
Why then wee ſhall haue a ſtirring World againe: This peace is nothing, but to ruſt Iron, encreaſe Taylors, and breed Ballad-makers.
Let me haue Warre ſay I, it exceeds peace as farre as day do's night: It's ſprightly walking, audible, and full of Vent. Peace, is a very Apoplexy, Lethargie, mull'd, deafe, ſleepe, inſenſible, a getter of more baſtard. Chil
'Tis ſo, and as warres in ſome ſort may be ſaide to be a Rauiſhen, ſo it cannot be denied, but peace is a great maker of Cuckolds.
I, and it makes men hate one another.
Reaſon, becauſe they then leſſe neede one another: The Warres for my money. I hope to ſee Romanes as cheape as Volcians. They are riſing, they are riſing.
In, in, in, in.
We ſtood too't in good time. Is this Menenius?
'Tis he, 'tis he: O he is grown moſt kind of late: Haile Sir.
Haile to you both.
Your Coriolanus is not much miſt, but with his Friends: the Commonwealth doth ſtand, and ſo would do, were he more angry at it.
All's well, and might haue bene much better, if he could haue temporiz'd.
Where is he, heare you?
The Gods preſerue you both.
Gooden our Neighbours.
Gooden to you all, gooden to you all.
Liue, and thriue.
Now the Gods keepe you.
Farewell, farewell.
And affecting one ſole Throne, without aſſiſta
I thinke not ſo.
Come, what talke you of Martius.
Tell not me: I know this cannot be.
Not poſſible.
What more fearefull?
This is moſt likely.
The very tricke on't.
Oh you haue made good worke.
What newes? What newes?
What's the newes? What's the newes?
Hee I ſhake your Rome about your eares.
But is this true ſir?
Say not, we brought it.
Faith, we heare fearfull Newes.
And ſo did I.
And ſo did I: and to ſay the truth, ſo did very ma
Y' are goodly things, you Voyces.
Oh I, what elſe?
The Gods bee good to vs: Come Maſters let's home, I euer ſaid we were i' th wrong, when we baniſh'd him.
So did we all. But come, let's home.
I do not like this Newes.
Nor I.
Pray let's go.
Do they ſtill flye to' th' Roman?
Sir, I beſeech you, think you he'l carry Rome?
He would not ſeeme to know me.
Do you heare?
Very well, could he ſay leſſe.
No: Ile not meddle.
Pray you go to him.
What ſhould I do?
Hee'l neuer heare him.
Not.
Stay: whence are you.
Stand, and go backe.
From whence?
From Rome.
You may not paſſe, you muſt returne: our Generall will no more heare from thence.
Faith Sir, if you had told as many lies in his behalfe, as you haue vttered words in your owne, you ſhould not paſſe heere: no, though it were as vertuous to lye, as to liue chaſtly. Therefore go backe.
Prythee fellow, remember my name is Menenius, alwayes factionary on the party of your Generall.
Howſoeuer you haue bin his Lier, as you ſay you haue, I am one that telling true vnder him, muſt ſay you cannot paſſe. Therefore go backe.
Ha's he din'd can'ſt thou tell? For I would not ſpeake with him, till after dinner.
You are a Roman, are you?
I am as thy Generall is.
Then you ſhould hate Rome, as he do's. Can you, when you haue puſht out your gates, the very Defender of them, and in a violent popular ignorance, giuen your enemy your ſhield, thinke to front his reuenges with the eaſie groanes of old women, the Virginall Palms of your daughters, or with the palſied interceſſion of ſuch a de
Come, my Captaine knowes you not.
I meane thy Generall.
My Generall cares not for you. Back I ſay, go: leaſt I let forth your halfe pinte of blood. Backe, that's the vt
Nay but Fellow, Fellow.
What's the matter?
Now you Companion: Ile ſay an arrant for you: you ſhall know now that I am in eſtimation: you ſhall perceiue, that a Iacke gardant cannot office me from my Son Coriolanus, gueſſe but my entertainment with him: if thou ſtand'ſt not i' th ſtate of hanging, or of ſome death more long in Spectatorſhip, and crueller in ſuffering, beMenenius do's. O my Son, my Soul thou art pre
Away.
How? Away?
You keepe a conſtant temper.
Now ſir, is your name Menenius?
Do you heare how wee are ſhent for keeping your greatneſſe backe?
What cauſe do you thinke I haue to ſwoond?
I neither care for th' world, nor your General: for ſuch things as you. I can ſcarſe thinke ther's any, y' are ſo ſlight. He that hath a will to die by himſelfe, feares it
A Noble Fellow I warrant him.
My Lord and Husband.
Theſe eyes are not the ſame I wore in Rome.
Your knee, Sirrah.
That's my braue Boy.
I was mou'd withall.
See you yon'd Coin a' th Capitol, you
Why what of that?
If it be poſſible for you to diſplace it with your little finger, there is ſome hope the Ladies of Rome, eſpe
Is't poſsible, that ſo ſhort a time can alter the condition of a man.
There is differency between a Grub & a ButMartius, is growne from Man to Dragon: He has wings, hee's more then a creeping thing.
He lou'd his Mother deerely.
So did he mee: and he no more remembers his Mother now, then an eight yeare old horſe. The rareneſſe of his face, ſowres ripe Grapes. When he walks, he moues like an Engine, and the ground ſhrinkes before his TreaAlexander. What he bids bee done, is finiſht with his bidding. He wants nothing of a God but Eternity, and a Heauen to Throne in.
Yes, mercy, if you report him truly.
I paint him in the Character. Mark what mer
The Gods be good vnto vs.
No, in ſuch a caſe the Gods will not bee good vnto vs. When we baniſh'd him, we reſpected not them: and he returning to breake our necks, they reſpect not vs.
What's the Newes?
Sir, we haue all great cauſe to giue great thanks.
They are neere the City.
Almoſt at point to enter.
Wee'l meet them, and helpe the ioy.
Welcome Ladies, welcome.
How is it with our Generall?
Euen ſo, as with a man by his owne Almes im
Say no more. Heere come the Lords
You are moſt welcome home.
We haue.
He approaches, you ſhall heare him.
Traitor? How now?
I Traitor, Martius.
Martius?
Hear'ſt thou Mars?
Name not the God, thou boy of Teares.
Ha?
No more.
Peace
Let him dye for't.
Inſolent Villaine.
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill him.
Hold, hold, hold, hold.
My Noble Maſters, heare me ſpeake.
O Tullus.
Thou haſt done a deed, whereat Valour will weepe.
Tribunes, and me, a poore Competitor.
O cruell irreligious piety.
Was euer Scythia halfe ſo barbarous?
Titus, thou ſhalt obtaine and aske the Emperie.
Proud and ambitious Tribune can'ſt thou tell?
Patience Prince Saturninus.
Lord Titus by your leaue, this Maid is mine.
How ſir? Are you in earneſt then my Lord?
And that he will and ſhall, if Lucius liue.
Surpriſ'd, by whom?
Follow my Lord
My Lord you paſſe not heere.
What villaine Boy, bar'ſt me my way in Rome?
Helpe Lucius helpe.
O monſtrous, what reproachfull words are theſe?
Theſe words are Razors to my wounded hart.
What would you bury him in my deſpight?
He is not himſelfe, let vs withdraw.
Not I tell Mutius bones be buried.
Brother, for in that name doth nature plea'd.
Father, and in that name doth nature ſpeake.
Speake thou no more if all the reſt will ſpeede.
Renowned Titus more then halfe my ſoule.
Deare Father, ſoule and ſubſtance of vs all.
That on mine honour heere I do proteſt.
Away and talke not, trouble vs no more.
Be it ſo Titus, and Gramercy to.
Clubs, clubs, theſe louers will not keep the peace.
I Boy, grow ye ſo braue?
To atcheive her, how?
I, and as good as Saturnius may.
I ſo the turne were ſerued.
Aaron thou haſt hit it.
Faith not me.
Not me, ſo I were one.
Thy counſell Lad ſmells of no cowardiſe.
Lauinia, how ſay you?
The King my Brother ſhall haue notice of this.
Why I haue patience to endure all this?
This is a witneſſe that I am thy Sonne.
Oh Tamora, thou bear'ſt a woman face.
I will not heare her ſpeake, away with her.
Sweet Lords intreat her heare me but a word.
I know not what it meanes, away with her.
What beg'ſt thou then? fond woman let me go?
My ſight is very dull what ere it bodes.
If it be darke, how dooſt thou know 'tis he?
Nor I no ſtrength to clime without thy help.
Where is my Lord the King?
Heere Tamora, though grieu'd with killing griefe.
Where is thy brother Baſsianus?
And if we miſſe to meete him hanſomely, Sweet huntſman, Baſſianus 'tis we meane, Doe thou ſo much as dig the graue for him, Thou know'ſt our meaning, looke for thy reward Among the Nettles at the Elder tree: Which ouer-ſhades the mouth of that ſame pit: Where we decreed to bury Baſſianuss Doe this and purchaſe vs thy laſting friends.
My gracious Lord heere is the bag of Gold.
Andronicus himſelfe did take it vp.
See how with ſignes and tokens ſhe can ſcowle.
And t' were my cauſe, I ſhould goe hang my ſelfe.
My gracious Lord, no Tribune heares you ſpeake.
Will it conſume me? Let me ſee it then.
This was thy daughter.
Why Marcus ſo ſhe is.
Aye me this obiect kils me.
Speake gentle ſiſter, who hath martyr'd thee?
Patience deere Neece, good Titus drie thine eyes.
Ah my Lauinia I will wipe thy cheekes.
My hand ſhall goe.
By heauen it ſhall not goe.
Agree betweene you, I will ſpare my hand.
Then Ile goe fetch an Axe.
But I will vſe the Axe.
But yet let reaſon gouerne thy lament.
When will this fearefull ſlumber haue an end?
Ha, ha, ha,
Why doſt thou laugh? it fits not with this houre.
At that that I haue kil'd my Lord, a Flys
Alas (my Lord) I haue but kild a flie.
Stand by me Lucius, doe not feare thy Aunt.
She loues thee boy too well to doe thee harme
I when my father was in Rome ſhe did.
What meanes my Neece Lauinia by theſe ſignes?
Lucius I will.
Lucius what booke is that ſhe toſſeth ſo?
See brother ſee, note how ſhe quotes the leaues
And Vncle ſo will I, and if I liue.
I with my dagger in their boſomes Grandſire:
I ſome mad meſſage from his mad Grandfather.
A charitable wiſh, and full of loue.
Heere lack's but you mother for to ſay, Amen.
And that would ſhe for twenty thouſand more.
Pray to the deuils, the gods haue giuen vs ouer.
Why do the Emperors trumpets flouriſh thus?
Belike for ioy the Emperour hath a ſonne.
Soft, who comes heere?
To whom?
I meane ſhe is brought a bed?
A deuill.
Why then ſhe is the Deuils Dam: a ioyfull iſſue.
Villaine what haſt thou done?
That which thou canſt not vndoe.
Thou haſt vndone our mother.
It ſhall not liue.
It ſhall not die.
Aaron it muſt, the mother wils it ſo.
Wilt thou betray thy noble miſtris thus?
By this our mother is for euer ſham'd.
Rome will deſpiſe her for this foule eſcape.
The Emperour in his rage will doome her death.
I bluſh to thinke vpon this ignominie.
Aaron what ſhall I ſay vnto the Empreſſe?
How many women ſaw this childe of his?
Aaron I ſee thou wilt not ttuſt the ayre with ſe
Why there it goes, God giue your Lordſhip ioy.
Ho the Iibbetmaker, he ſayes that he hath ta
But what ſayes Iupiter I aske thee?
Why villaine art not thou the Carrier?
I of my Pigions ſir, nothing elſe.
Why, did'ſt thou not come from heauen?
From heauen? Alas ſir, I neuer came there, God forbid I ſhould be ſo bold, to preſſe to heauen in my young dayes. Why I am going with my pigeons to the Tribunall Plebs, to take vp a matter of brawle, betwixt my Vncle, and one of the Emperialls men.
Why ſir, that is as fit as can be to ſerue for your Oration, and let him deliuer the Pigions to the Emperour from you.
Tell mee, can you deliuer an Oration to the Em
Nay truely ſir, I could neuer ſay grace in all my life.
I ſir
Then here is a Supplication for you, and when you come to him, at the firſt approach you muſt kneele, then kiſſe his foote, then deliuer vp your Pigeons, and then looke for your reward. Ile be at hand ſir, ſee you do it brauely.
I warrant you ſir, let me alone.
God be with you ſir, I will.
Come Marcus let vs goe, Publius follow me.
Yea forſooth, and your Miſterſhip be Emperiall.
Empreſſe I am, but yonder ſits the Emperour.
Goe take him away, and hang him preſently.
How much money muſt I haue?
Come ſirrah you muſt be hang'd.
Hang'd? ber Lady, then I haue brought vp a neck to a faire end.
What newes with thee Emillius?
Why ſhould you feare? Is not our City ſtrong?
But he will not entreat his Sonne for vs.
Your bidding ſhall I do effectually.
Then goe ſucceſſantly and plead for him.
Touch not the Boy, he is of Royall blood.
Sweare that he ſhall, and then I will begin.
Euen by my God I ſweare to to thee I will.
Oh moſt Inſatiate luxurious woman!
Oh barbarous beaſtly villaines like thy ſelfe!
What canſt thou ſay all this, and neuer bluſh?
I, like a blacke Dogge, as the ſaying is.
Art thou not ſorry for theſe hainous deedes?
Sirs ſtop his mouth, & let him ſpeake no more.
What ſaies our Generall?
Titus, I am come to talke with thee,
I am, therefore come downe and welcome me.
Theſe are my Miniſters, and come with me.
Are them thy Miniſters, what are they call'd?
What would'ſt thou haue vs doe Andronicus?
Shew me a Murtherer, Ile deale with him.
This will I do, and ſoone returne againe.
Madam depart at pleaſure, leaue vs heere.
I know thou doo'ſt, and ſweet reuenge farewell.
Tell vs old man, how ſhall we be imploy'd?
What is your will?
Know you theſe two?
Villaines forbeare, we are the Empreſſe Sonnes.
And ours with thine befall, what Fortune will.
What, hath the Firemament more Suns then one?
What bootes it thee to call thy ſelfe a Sunne?
Marcus we will.
Why art thou thus attir'd Andronicus?
We are beholding to you good Andronicus?
It was Andronicus.
Your reaſon, Mighty Lord?
What haſt done, vnnaturall and vnkinde?
What was ſhe rauiſht? tell who did the deed,
Why haſt thou ſlaine thine onely Daughter?
Go fetch them hither to vs preſently.
Die franticke wretch, for this accurſed deed.
GRegory: A my word wee'l not carry coales.
No, for then we ſhould be Colliars.
I mean, if we be in choller, wee'l draw.
I, While you liue, draw your necke out o' th Collar.
I ſtrike quickly, being mou'd.
But thou art not quickly mou'd to ſtrike.
A dog of the houſe of Mountague, moues me.
That ſhewes thee a weake ſlaue, for the wea
True, and therefore women being the weaker Veſſels, are euer thruſt to the wall: therefore I will puſh Mountagues men from the wall, and thruſt his Maides to the wall.
The Quarrell is betweene our Maſters, and vs their men.
'Tis all one, I will ſhew my ſelfe a tyrant: when I haue fought with the men, I will bee ciuill with the Maids, and cut off their heads.
The heads of the Maids?
They muſt take it ſence, that feele it
'Tis well thou art not Fiſh: If thou had'ſt, thou had'ſt beene poore Iohn. Draw thy Toole, here comes of the Houſe of the Mountagues.
My naked weapon is out: quarrel, I wil back thee
How? Turne thy backe, and run.
Feare me not.
No marry: I feare thee.
Let vs take the Law of our ſides
I wil frown as I paſſe by, & let the
Nay, as they dare. I wil bite my Thumb at them, which is a diſgrace to them, if they beare it.
Do you bite your Thumbe at vs ſir?
I do bite my Thumbe, ſir.
Do you bite your Thumb at vs, ſir?
Is the Law of our ſide, if I ſay I?
No.
No ſir, I do not bite my Thumbe at you ſir: but I bite my Thumbe ſir.
Do you quarrell ſir?
Quarrell ſir? no ſir.
If you do ſir, I am for you, I ſerue as good a man as you
No better?
Well ſir.
Say better: here comes one of my maſters kinſmen.
Yes, better.
You Lye.
Draw if you be men. Gregory, remember thy waſhing blow.
Part Fooles, put vp your Swords, you know not what you do.
What art thou drawne, among theſe heartleſſe Hindes? Turne thee Benuolio, looke vpon thy death.
What noiſe is this? Giue me my long Sword ho.
A crutch, a crutch: why call you for a Sword?
Thou villaineCapulet. Hold me not, let me go
Thou ſhalt not ſtir a foote to ſeeke a Foe.
My Noble Vncle doe you know the cauſe?
I neither know it, nor can learne of him.
Haue you importun'd him by any meanes?
Good morrow Couſin.
Is the day ſo young?
But new ſtrooke nine.
Not hauing that, which hauing, makes them ſhort
In loue.
Out.
Of loue.
Out of her fauour where I am in loue.
No Coze, I rather weepe.
Good heart, at what?
At thy good hearts oppreſsion.
Tell me in ſadneſſe, who is that you loue?
What ſhall I grone and tell thee?
Grone, why no: but ſadly tell me who.
I aym'd ſo neare, when I ſuppoſ'd you lou'd.
A right good marke man, and ſhee's faire I loue
A right faire marke, faire Coze, is ſooneſt hit.
Be rul'd by me, forget to thinke of her.
O teach me how I ſhould forget to thinke.
Ile pay that doctrine, or elſe die in debt.
Younger then ſhe, are happy mothers made.
Find them out whoſe names are written. Heere it is written, that the Shoo-maker ſhould meddle with his Yard, and the Tayler with his Laſt, the Fiſher with his Penſill, and the Painter with his Nets. But I am ſent to find thoſe perſons whoſe names are writ, & can neuer find what names the writing perſon hath here writ (I muſt to the learned) in good time.
Your Plantan leafe is excellent for that.
For what I pray thee?
For your broken ſhin.
Why Romeo art thou mad?
Godgigoden, I pray ſir can you read?
I mine owne fortune in my miſerie.
I, if I know the Letters and the Language.
Ye ſay honeſtly, reſt you merry.
SEigneur Martino, and his wife and daughter: County Anſ:elme and his beautious ſiſters: the Lady widdow of Ʋ truuio, Seigneur Placentio, and his louely Neeces: Mercutio and his brother Valentine: mine vncle Capulet his wife and daugh ters: my faire Neece Roſaline, Liuia, Seigneur Valentio, & his Coſen Tybalt: Lucio and the liuely Helena.
Vp.
Whither? to ſupper?
To our houſe.
Whoſe houſe?
My Maiſters.
Indeed I ſhould haue askt you that before.
Now Ile tell you without asking. My maiſter is the great rich Capulet, and if you be not of the houſe of Mountagues I pray come and cruſh a cup of wine. Reſt you merry.
Nurſe wher's my daughter? call her forth to me.
How now, who calls?
Your Mother.
Madam I am heere, what is your will?
This is the matter: Nurſe giue leaue awhile, we
Faith I can tell her age vnto an houre.
Shee's not fourteene.
A fortnight and odde dayes.
Euen or odde, of all daies in the yeare come Lammas Eue at night ſhall ſhe be fourteene. Suſan & ſhe, God reſt all Chriſtian ſoules, were of an age. Well Suſan is with God, ſhe was too good for me. But as I ſaid, on Lamas Eue at night ſhall ſhe be fourteene, that ſhall ſhe ma
Inough of this, I pray thee hold thy peace.
Yes Madam, yet I cannot chuſe but laugh, to thinke it ſhould leaue crying, & ſay I: and yet I warrant it had vpon it brow, a bumpe as big as a young Cockrels ſtone? A perilous knock, and it cryed bitterly. Yea quoth my husband, fall'ſt vpon thy face, thou wilt fall backIule? It ſtinted: and ſaid I.
And ſtint thou too. I pray thee Nurſe, ſay I.
Peace I haue done: God marke thee too his grace thou waſt the prettieſt Babe that ere I nurſt, and I might liue to ſee thee married once, I haue my wiſh.
It is an houre that I dreame not of.
An houre, were not I thine onely Nurſe, I would ſay thou had'ſt ſuckt wiſedome from thy teat.
A man young Lady, Lady, ſuch a man as all the world. Why hee's a man of waxe.
Veronas Summer hath not ſuch a flower.
Nay hee's a flower, infaith a very flower.
No leſſe, nay bigger: women grow by men.
Speake briefly, can you like of Paris loue?
Madam, the gueſts are come, ſupper ſeru'd vp, you cal'd, my young Lady askt for, the Nurſe cur'ſt in the Pan
We follow thee, Iuliet, the Countie ſtaies.
Goe Gyrle, ſeeke happ
Nay gentle Romeo, we muſt haue you dance.
Nay that's not ſo.
Why may one aske?
I dreampt a dreame to night.
And ſo did I.
Well what was yours?
That dreamers often lye.
In bed a ſleepe while they do dreame things true.
O then I ſee Queene Mab hath beene with you: She is the Fairies Midwife, & ſhe comes in ſhape no big
Strike Drum.
When good manners, ſhall lie in one or two mens hands, and they vnwaſht too, 'tis a foule thing.
Away with the Ioynſtooles, remoue the CourtSuſan Grindſtone, and Nell, Anthonie and Potpan.
I Boy readie.
You are lookt for, and cal'd for, askt for, & ſought for, in the great Chamber.
Berlady thirty yeares.
I know not ſir.
Young Romeo is it?
'Tis he, that Villaine Romeo.
Why Vncle, 'tis a ſhame.
Haue not Saints lips, and holy Palmers too?
I Pilgrim, lips that they muſt vſe in prayer.
Then haue my lips the ſin that they haue tooke.
You kiſſe by' th' booke.
Madam your Mother craues a word with you.
What is her Mother?
Away, be gone, the ſport is at the beſt.
I ſo I feare, the more is my vnreſt.
The Sonne and Heire of old Tyberio.
What's he that now is going out of doore?
Marrie that I thinke be young Petruchio.
What's he that follows here that would not dance?
I know not.
What's this? whats this?
Romeo, my Cozen Romeo, Romeo.
And if he heare thee thou wilt anger him.
Ay me.
Shall I heare more, or ſhall I ſpeake at this?
Neither faire Maid, if either thee diſlike.
If they do ſee thee, they will murther thee.
I would not for the world they ſaw thee here.
By whoſe direction found'ſt thou out this place?
If my hearts deare loue.
O wilt thou leaue me ſo vnſatisfied?
Th' exchange of thy Loues faithfull vow for mine.
So thriue my ſoule.
A thouſand times goodnight.
Romeo.
My Neece.
By the houre of nine.
Let me ſtand here till thou remember it.
I would I were thy Bird.
Sleepe dwell vpon thine eyes, peace in thy breſt.
Good morrow Father.
That laſt is true, the ſweeter reſt was mine.
God pardon ſin: waſt thou with Roſaline?
That's my good Son, but wher haſt thou bin then?
Thou chid'ſt me oft for louing Roſaline.
For doting not for louing pupill mine.
And bad'ſt me bury Loue.
O let vs hence, I ſtand on ſudden haſt.
Wiſely and ſlow, they ſtumble that run faſt.
Where the deuRomeo be? came he not home to night?
Not to his Fathers, I ſpoke with his man.
Why that ſame pale hard-harted wench, that Roſaline torments him ſo, that he will ſure run mad.
Tibalt, the kinſman to old Capulet, hath ſent a Let
A challenge on my life.
Romeo will anſwere it.
Any man that can write, may anſwere a Letter.
Nay, he will anſwere the Letters Maiſter how he dares, being dared.
Alas poore Romeo, he is already dead ſtab'd with a white wencheTybalt?
Why what is Tibalt?
More then Prince of Cats. Oh hee's the Couragi
The what?
The Pox of ſuch antique liſping affecting phan
Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo.
Without his Roe, like a dryed Hering. O fleſh, fleſh, how art thou fiſhified? Now is he for the numbers that Petrarch flowed in: Laura to his Lady, was a kitchen wench, marrie ſhe had a better Loue to be rime her: Dido a dowdie, Cleopatra a Gipſie, Hellen and Hero, hildinſgs and Harlots: Thisbie a gray eie or ſo, but not to the purpoſe. Signior Romeo, Bon iour, there's a French ſalutation to your
Good morrow to you both, what counterfeit did I giue you?
The ſlip ſir, the ſlip, can you not conceiue?
Pardon Mercutio, my buſineſſe was great, and in ſuch a caſe as mine, a man may ſtraine curteſie.
That's as much as to ſay, ſuch a caſe as yours con
Meaning to curſie.
Thou haſt moſt kindly hit it.
A moſt curteous expoſition.
Nay, I am the very pinck of curteſie.
Pinke for flower.
Right.
Why then is my Pump well flowr'd.
Sure wit, follow me this ieaſt, now till thou haſt worne out thy Pump, that when the ſingle ſole of it is worne, the ieaſt may remaine after the wearing, ſole-ſingular.
Come betweene vs good Benuolio, my wits faints.
Nay, if our wits run the Wild-Gooſe chaſe, I am done: For thou haſt more of the Wild-Gooſe in one of thy wits, then I am ſure I haue in my whole fiue. Was I with you there for the Gooſe?
Thou waſt neuer with mee for any thing, when thou waſt not there for the Gooſe.
I will bite thee by the eare for that ieſt.
Nay, good Gooſe bite not.
And is it not well ſeru'd into a Sweet-Gooſe?
Oh here's a wit of Cheuerell, that ſtretches from an ynch narrow, to an ell broad.
I ſtretch it out for that word, broad, which added to the Gooſe, proues thee farre and wide, abroad Gooſe.
Why is not this better now, then groning for Loue, now art thou ſociable, now art thou Romeo: now art thou what thou art, by Art as well as by Nature, for this driueling Loue is like a great Naturall, that runs lolling vp and downe to hid his bable in a hole.
Stop there, ſtop there.
Thou deſir'ſt me to ſtop in my tale againſt the haire.
Thou would'ſt elſe haue made thy tale large.
O thou art deceiu'd, I would haue made it ſhort, or I was come to the whole depth of my tale, and meant indeed to occupie the argument no longer.
Two, two: a Shirt and a Smocke.
Peter?
Anon.
My Fan Peter?
God ye good morrow Gentlemen.
God ye gooden faire Gentlewoman.
Is it gooden?
'Tis no leſſe I tell you: for the bawdy hand of the Dyall is now vpon the pricke of Noone.
Out vpon you: what a man are you?
By my troth it is ſaid, for himſelfe to, mar quaRomeo?
I can tell you: but young Romeo will be older when you haue found him, then he was when you ſought him: I am the youngeſt of that name, for fault of a worſe.
You ſay well.
She will endite him to ſome Supper.
A baud, a baud, a baud. So no.
What haſt thou found?
I will follow you.
I pray you ſir, what ſawcie Merchant was this that was ſo full of his roperie?
A Gentleman Nurſe, that loues to heare himſelfe talke, and will ſpeake more in a minute, then he will ſtand to in a Moneth.
And a ſpeake any thing againſt me, Ile take him downe, & a were luſtier then he is, and twentie ſuch Iacks: and if I cannot, Ile finde thoſe that ſhall: ſcuruie knaue, I am none of his flurt-gils, I am none of his skaines mates, and thou muſt ſtand by too and ſuffer euery knaue to vſe me at his pleaſure.
I ſaw no man vſe you at his pleaſure: if I had, my weapon ſhould quickly haue beene out, I warrant you, I dare draw aſſoone as another man, if I ſee occaſion in a good quarrell, and the law on my ſide.
Now afore God, I am ſo vext, that euery part about me quiuers, skuruy knaue: pray you ſir a word: and as I told you, my young Lady bid me enquire you out, what ſhe bid me ſay, I will keepe to my ſelfe: but firſt let me tell ye, if ye ſhould leade her in a fooles paradiſe, as they ſay, it were a very groſſe kind of behauiour, as they ſay: for the Gentlewoman is yong: & therefore, if you ſhould deale double with her, truely it were an ill thing to be of
Nurſe commend me to thy Lady and Miſtreſſe, I proteſt vnto thee.
What wilt thou tell her Nurſe? thou doeſt not marke me?
I will tell her ſir, that you do proteſt, which as I take it, is a Gentleman-like offer.
No truly ſir not a penny.
Go too, I ſay you ſhall.
This afternoone ſir? well ſhe ſhall be there.
Now God in heauen bleſſe thee: harke you ſir,
What ſaiſt thou my deare Nurſe?
Is your man ſecret, did you nere heare ſay two may keepe counſell putting one away.
Warrant thee my man as true as ſteele.
Well ſir, my Miſtreſſe is the ſweeteſt Lady, Lord, Lord, when 'twas a little praParis, that would faine lay knife aParis is the propereRomeo begin both with a letter?
I Nurſe, what of that? Both with an R
A mocker that's the dogs name, R. is for the no, I know it begins with ſome other letter, and ſhe hath the prettieſt ſententious of it, of you and Roſemary, that it would do you good to heare it.
Commend me to thy Lady.
I a thouſand times. Peter?
Anon.
Before and apace.
Peter ſtay at the gate.
Well, you haue made a ſimple choice, you know not how to chuſe a man: Romeo, no not he though his face be better then any mans, yet his legs excels all mens, and for a hand, and a foote, and a body, though they be not to be talkt on, yet they are paſt compare: he is not the flower of curteſie, but Ile warrant him as gentle a Lambe: go thy waies wench, ſerue God. What haue you din'd at home?
Heere's ſuch a coile, come what ſaies Romeo?
Haue you got leaue to go to ſhrift to day?
I haue.
Hie to high Fortune, honeſt Nurſe, farewell.
Good euen to my ghoſtly Confeſſor.
Romeo ſhall thanke thee Daughter for vs both.
As much to him, elſe in his thanks too much.
Thou art like one of theſe fellowes, that when he enters the confines of a Tauerne, claps me his Sword vpon the Table, and ſayes, God ſend me no need of thee: and by the operation of the ſecond cup, drawe
Am I like ſuch a Fellow?
Come, come, thou art as hot a Iacke in thy mood, as any in Italie: and aſſoone moued to be moodie, and aſ
And what too?
Nay, and there were two ſuch, we ſhould haue none ſhortly, for one would kill the other: thou, why thou wilt quarrell with a man that hath a haire more, or a haire leſſe in his beard, then thou haſt: thou wilt quarrell with a man for cracking Nuts, hauing no other reaſon, but be
And I were ſo apt to quarell as thou art, any man ſhould buy the Fee-ſimple of my life, for an houre and a quarter.
The Fee-ſimple? O ſimple.
By my head here comes the Capulets.
By my heele I care not.
And but one word with one of vs? couple it with ſomething, make it a word and a blow.
You ſhall find me apt inough to that ſir, and you will giue me occaſion.
Could you not take ſome occaſion without giuing?
Mercutio thou conſort'ſt with Romeo.
Conſort? what doſt thou make vs Minſtrels? & thou make Minſtrels of vs, looke to heare nothing but diſ
Well peace be with you ſir, here comes my man.
What woulds thou haue with me?
Good King of Cats, nothing but one of your nine liues, that I meane to make bold withall, and as you ſhall vſe me hereafter dry beate the reſt of the eight. Will you pluck your Sword out of his Pilcher by the eares? Make haſt, leaſt mine be about your eares ere it be out.
I am for you.
Gentle Mercutio, put thy Rapier vp.
Come ſir, your Paſſado.
What art thou hurt?
Courage man, the hurt cannot be much.
No: 'tis not ſo deepe as a well, nor ſo wide as a Church doore, but 'tis inough, 'twill ſerue: aske for me to morrow, and you ſhall find me a graue man. I am pepper'd I warrant, for this world: a plague a both your houſes. What, a Dog, a Rat, a Mouſe, a Cat to ſcratch a man to death: a Braggart, a Rogue, a Villaine, that fights by the booke of Arithmeticke, why the deu'le came you be
I thought all for the beſt.
Here comes the Furious Tybalt backe againe.
This ſhall determine that.
O! I am Fortunes foole.
Why doſt thou ſtay?
There lies that Tybalt.
Where are the vile beginners of this Fray?
Benuolio, who began this Fray?
I, I, the Cords.
Can heauen be ſo enuious?
O Serpent heart, hid with a flowring face.
Then fond Mad man, heare me ſpeake.
O thou wilt ſpeake againe of baniſhment.
O then I ſee, that Mad men haue no eares.
Let me diſpaire with thee of thy eſtate,
Welcome then.
Nurſe.
Ah ſir, ah ſir, deaths the end of all.
Do ſo, and bid my Sweete prepare to chide.
How well my comfort is reuiu'd by this.
Monday my Lord.
More light & light, more darke & darke our woes.
Madam.
Nurſe.
Then window let day in, and let life out.
Farewell, farewell, one kiſſe and Ile deſcend.
O thinkeſt thou we ſhall euer meet againe?
Ho Daughter, are you vp?
Why how now Iuliet?
Madam I am not well.
Yet let me weepe, for ſuch a feeling loſſe.
What Villaine, Madam?
That ſame Villaine Romeo.
That is becauſe the Traitor liues.
Madam in happy time, what day is this?
Fie, fie, what are you mad?
You are too hot.
Speakeſt thou from thy heart?
Amen.
What?
Marrie I will, and this is wiſely done.
On Thurſday ſir? the time is very ſhort.
Happily met, my Lady and my wife.
That may be ſir, when I may be a wife.
That may be, muſt be Loue, on Thurſday next.
What muſt be ſhall be.
That's a certaine text.
Come you to make confeſſion to this Father?
To anſwere that, I ſhould confeſſe to you.
Do not denie to him, that you Loue me.
I will confeſſe to you that I Loue him.
So will ye, I am ſure that you Loue me.
Poore ſoule, thy face is much abuſ'd with teares.
Thou wrong'ſt it more then teares with that report.
Thy face is mine, and thou haſt ſlaundred it.
Giue me, giue me, O tell not me ofcare.
You ſhall haue none ill ſir, for Ile trie if they can licke their fingers.
How canſt thou trie them ſo?
Marrie ſir, 'tis an ill Cooke that cannot licke his owne fingers: therefore he that cannot licke his fingers goes not with me.
Go be gone, we ſhall be much vnfurniſht for this time: what is my Daughter gone to Frier Lawrence?
I forſooth.
No not till Thurſday, there's time inough.
What are you buſie ho? need you my help?
They call for Dates and Quinces in the Paſtrie.
Things for the Cooke ſir, but I know not what.
What noiſe is heere?
O lamentable day.
What is the matter?
Looke, looke, oh heauie day.
For ſhame bring Iuliet forth, her Lord is come.
Shee's dead: deceaſt, ſhee's dead: alacke the day.
Alacke the day, ſhee's dead, ſhee's dead, ſhee's dead.
O Lamentable day!
O wofull time.
Come, is the Bride ready to go to Church?
Faith we may put vp our Pipes and be gone.
I by my troth, the caſe may be amended.
Why hearts eaſe;
Not a dump we, 'tis no time to play now.
You will not then?
No.
I will then giue it you ſoundly.
What will you giue vs?
Then will I giue you the Seruing creature.
Then will I lay the ſeruing Creatures Dagger on your pate. I will carie no Crochets, Ile Re you, Ile Fa you, do you note me?
And you Re vs, and Fa vs, you Note vs.
Mary ſir, becauſe ſiluer hath a ſweet ſound.
Prateſt, what ſay you Hugh Rebicke?
I ſay ſiluer ſound, becauſe Muſitions ſound for ſil
Prateſt to, what ſay you Iames Sound-Poſt?
Faith I know not what to ſay.
What a peſtilent knaue is this ſame?
Hang him Iacke, come weele in here, tarrie for the Mourners, and ſtay dinner.
No my good Lord.
Who call's ſo low'd?
My pouerty, but not my will conſents.
I pray thy pouerty, and not thy will.
Holy Franciſcan Frier, Brother, ho?
Who bare my Letter then to Romeo?
Brother Ile go and bring it thee.
I will be gone ſir, and not trouble you
Wilt thou prouoke me? Then haue at thee Boy.
O Lord they fight, I will go call the Watch.
Here's one, a Friend, & one that knowes you well.
Who is it?
Romeo.
How long hath he bin there?
Full halfe an houre.
Go with me to the Vault.
Lead Boy, which way?
Hold him in ſafety, till the Prince come hither.
A great ſuſpition, ſtay the Frier too.
What ſhould it be that they ſo ſhrike abroad?
What feare is this which ſtartles in your eares?
Looke: and thou ſhalt ſee.
Then ſay at once, what thou doſt know in this?
I am glad y'are well.
I haue not ſeene you long, how goes the World?
It weares ſir, as it growes.
I know them both: th' others a Ieweller.
O 'tis a worthy Lord.
Nay that's moſt fixt.
I haue a Iewell heere.
O pray let's ſee't. For the Lord Timon, ſir?
If he will touch the eſtimate. But for that—
'Tis a good forme.
And rich: heere is a Water looke ye.
You are rapt ſir, in ſome worke, ſome Dedica
A Picture ſir: when comes your Booke forth?
'Tis a good Peece.
So 'tis, this comes off well, and excellent.
Indifferent.
How this Lord is followed.
The Senators of Athens, happy men.
Looke moe.
How ſhall I vnderſtand you?
I ſaw them ſpeake together.
I marry, what of theſe?
Impriſon'd is he, ſay you?
Your Lordſhip euer bindes him.
All happineſſe to your Honor.
Lord Timon, heare me ſpeake.
Freely good Father.
Thou haſt a Seruant nam'd Lucilius.
I haue ſo: What of him?
Moſt Noble Timon, call the man before thee.
Attends he heere, or no? Lucillius.
Heere at your Lordſhips ſeruice.
Well: what further?
The man is honeſt.
Does ſhe loue him?
Loue you the Maid?
I my good Lord, and ſhe accepts of it.
Three Talents on the preſent; in future, all.
The Gods preſerue ye.
What my Lord, diſpraiſe?
Well mock'd.
Looke who comes heere, will you be chid?
Wee'l beare with your Lordſhip.
Hee'l ſpare none.
Why doſt thou call them Knaues, thou know'ſt them not?
Are they not Athenians?
Yes.
Then I repent not.
You know me, Apemantus?
Thou know'ſt I do, I call'd thee by thy name.
Thou art proud Apemantus?
Of nothing ſo much, as that I am not like Timon
Whether art going?
To knocke out an honeſt Athenians braines.
That's a deed thou't dye for.
Right, if doing nothing be death by th' Law.
How lik'ſt thou this picture Apemantus?
The beſt
Wrought he not well that painted it.
He wrought better that made the Painter, and yet he's but a filthy peece of worke.
Y' are a Dogge.
Thy Mothers of my generation: what's ſhe, if I be a Dogge?
Wilt dine with me Apemantus?
No: I eate not Lords.
And thou ſhould'ſt, thoud'ſt anger Ladies.
That's a laſciuious apprehenſion.
How doſt thou like this Iewell, Apemantus?
Not ſo well as plain-dealing, which wil not caſt a man a Doit.
What doſt thou thinke 'tis worth?
How now Philoſopher?
Thou lyeſt.
Art not one?
Yes.
Then I lye not.
Art not a Poet?
Yes.
That's not feign'd, he is ſo.
Yes he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour. He that loues to be flattered, is worthy o' th flat
What wouldſt do then Apemantus?
E'ne as Apemantus does now, hate a Lord with my heart.
What thy ſelfe?
I.
Wherefore?
I Apemantus.
Traffick confound thee, if the Gods will not.
If Trafficke do it, the Gods do it.
What Trumpets that?
So, ſo; their Aches contract, and ſterue your ſupple ioynts: that there ſhould bee ſmall loue amongeſt theſe ſweet Knaues, and all this Curteſie. The ſtraine of mans bred out into Baboon and Monkey.
What time a day is't Apemantus?
Time to be honeſt.
That time ſerues ſtill.
The moſt accurſed thou that ſtill omitſt it.
Thou art going to Lord Timons Feaſt.
I, to ſee meate fill Knaues, and Wine heat fooles.
Farthee well, farthee well.
Thou art a Foole to bid me farewell twice.
Why Apemantus?
Should'ſt haue kept one to thy ſelfe, for I meane to giue thee none.
Hang thy ſelfe.
I will flye like a dogge, the heeles a' th' Aſſe.
A Noble ſpirit.
My Lord, we alwaies haue confeſt it.
Ho ho, confeſt it? Handg'd it? Haue you not?
O Apermantus, you are welcome.
I take no heede of thee: Th' art an Athenian, therefore welcome: I my ſelfe would haue no power, prythee let my meate make thee ſilent.
I ſcorne thy meate, 'twould choake me: for I ſhould nere flatter thee. Oh you Gods! What a number of men eats Timon, and he ſees 'em not? It greeues me to ſee ſo many dip there meate in one mans blood, and all the madneſſe is, he cheeres them vp too.
There's much example for't, the fellow that ſits next him, now parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a diuided draught: is the readieſt man to kill him, 'Tas beene
My Lord in heart: and let the health go round.
Let it flow this way my good Lord.
Flow this way? A braue fellow. He keepes his tides well, thoſe healths will make thee and thy ſtate looke ill, Timon.
Apermantus Grace. Immortall Gods, I craue no pelfe, I pray for no man but my ſelfe, Graunt I may neuer proue ſo fond, To truſt man on his Oath or Bond. Or a Harlot for her weeping, Or a Dogge that ſeemes aſleeping, Or a keeper with my freedome, Or my friends if I ſhould need 'em. Amen.
Captaine, Alcibiades, your hearts in the field now.
My heart is euer at your ſeruice, my Lord.
You had rather be at a breakefaſt of Enemies, then a dinner of Friends.
So they were bleeding new my Lord, there's no meat like 'em, I could wiſh my beſt friend at ſuch a Feaſt.
Would all thoſe Flatterers were thine Enemies then, that then thou might'ſt kill 'em: & bid me to 'em.
Might we but haue that happineſſe my Lord, that you would once vſe our hearts, whereby we might expreſſe ſome part of our zeales, we ſhould thinke our ſelues for euer perfect.
Oh no doubt my good Friends, but the Gods themſelues haue prouided that I ſhall haue much helpe from you: how had you beene my Friends elſe. Why haue you that charitable title from thouſands? Did not you chiefely belong to my heart? I haue told more of you to my ſelfe, then you can with modeſtie ſpeake in your owne behalfe. And thus farre I confirme you. Oh you Gods (thinke I,) what need we haue any Friends; if we ſhould nere haue need of' em? They were the moſt needleſſe Creatures liuing; ſhould we nere haue vſe for 'em? And would moſt reſemble ſweete Inſtruments hung vp in Caſes, that keepes there ſounds to them
Thou weep'ſt to make them drinke, Timon.
Ho, ho: I laugh to thinke that babe a baſtard.
I promiſe you my Lord you mou'd me much.
Much.
What meanes that Trumpe? How now?
Ladies? what are their wils?
There comes with them a fore-runner my Lord, which beares that office, to ſignifie their pleaſures.
I pray let them be admitted.
Haile to thee worthy Timon and to all that of his Bounties taſte: the fiue beſt Sencesa cknowledge thee their Patron, and come freely to gratulate thy plentiou
They'r wecome all, let 'em haue kind admit
You ſee my Lord, how ample y' are belou'd.
My Lord you take vs euen at the beſt.
Faith for the worſt is filthy, and would not hold taking, I doubt me.
Moſt thankfully, my Lord.
Flauius.
My Lord.
The little Casket bring me hither.
Where be our men?
Heere my Lord, in readineſſe.
Our Horſes.
I am ſo farre already in your guifts.
So are we all.
My Lord, there are certaine Nobles of the Senate newly alighted, and come to viſit you.
They are fairely welcome.
I beſeech your Honor, vouchſafe me a word, it does concerne you neere.
I ſcarſe know how.
Pleaſe you my Lord, that honourable GentleLucullus, entreats your companie to morrow, to hunt with him, and ha's ſent your Honour two brace of Grey-hounds.
O he's the very ſoule of Bounty.
And now I remember my Lord, you gaue good words the other day of a Bay Courſer I rod on. Tis yours becauſe you lik'd it.
Oh, I beſeech you pardon mee, my Lord, in that.
You may take my word my Lord: I know no man can iuſtly praiſe, but what he does affect. I weighe my Friends affection with mine owne: Ile tell you true, Ile call to you.
O none ſo welcome.
I, defil'd Land, my Lord.
We are ſo vertuouſly bound.
And ſo am I to you.
So infinitely endeer'd.
All to you. Lights, more Lights.
Ready for his Friends.
What a coiles heere, ſeruing of beckes, and iut
No, Ile nothing; for if I ſhould be brib'd too, there would be none left to raile vponthee, and then thou wouldſt ſinne the faſter. Thou giu'ſt ſo long Timon (I feare me) thou wilt giue away thy ſelfe in paper ſhortly. What needs theſe Feaſts, pompes, and Vaine-glories?
Nay, and you begin to raile on Societie once, I am ſworne not to giue regard to you. Farewell, & come with better Muſicke.
Heere ſir, what is your pleaſure.
I go ſir.
I will Sir.
Go.
Good euen Varro: what, you come for money?
Is't not your buſineſſe too?
It is, and yours too, Iſidore?
It is ſo.
Would we were all diſcharg'd.
I feare it,
Heere comes the Lord.
My Lord, heere is a note of certaine dues.
Dues? whence are you?
Of Athens heere, my Lord.
Go to my Steward.
Nay, good my Lord.
Containe thy ſelfe, good Friend.
One Varroes ſeruant, my good Lord.
From Iſidore, he humbly prayes your ſpeedy pay
If you did know my Lord, my Maſters wants.
'Twas due on forfeyture my Lord, ſixe weekes, and paſt.
Do ſo my Friends, ſee them well entertain'd.
Pray draw neere.
Stay, ſtay, here comes the Foole with Apemantus, let's ha ſome ſport with 'em.
Hang him, hee'l abuſe vs.
A plague vpon him dogge.
How doſt Foole?
Doſt Dialogue with thy ſhadow?
I ſpeake not to thee.
No 'tis to thy ſelfe. Come away.
There's the Foole hangs on your backe already.
No thou ſtand'ſt ſingle, th' art not on him yet.
Where's the Foole now?
He laſt ask'd the queſtion. Poore Rogues, and Vſurers men, Bauds betweene Gold and want.
What are we Apemantus?
Aſſes.
Why?
That you ask me what you are, & do not know your ſelues. Speake to 'em Foole.
How do you Gentlemen?
She's e'ne ſetting on water to ſcal'd ſuch Chic
Good, Gramercy.
Looke you, heere comes my Maſters Page.
Would I had a Rod in my mouth, that I might anſwer thee profitably.
Prythee Apemantus reade me the ſuperſcripti
Canſt not read?
No.
There will litle Learning dye then that day thou art hang'd. This is to Lord Timon, this to Alcibiades. Go thou was't borne a Baſtard, and thou't dye a Bawd.
Will you leaue me there?
I would they ſeru'd vs.
Are you three Vſurers men?
I Foole.
I thinke no Vſurer, but ha's a Foole to his Ser
I could render one.
Do it then, that we may account thee a Whore
What is a Whoremaſter Foole?
A Foole in good cloathes, and ſomething like thee. 'Tis a ſpirit, ſometime t' appeares like a Lord, ſom
Thou art not altogether a Foole.
That anſwer might haue become Apemantus.
Aſide, aſide, heere comes Lord Timon.
Come with me (Foole) come.
I do not alwayes follow Louer, elder Brother, aad Woman, ſometime the Philoſopher.
Let all my Land be ſold.
To Lacedemon did my Land extend.
You tell me true.
Prythee no more.
Aſſurance bleſſe your thoughts.
My Lord, my Lord.
I will diſpatch you ſeuerally.
You to Lord Lucius, to Lord Lucullus you, I hunted with his Honor to day; you to Sempronius; commend me to their loues; and I am proud ſay, that my occaſions haue found time to vſe 'em toward a ſupply of mony: let the requeſt be fifty Talents.
As you haue ſaid, my Lord.
Lord Lucius and Lucullus? Humh.
Is't true? Can't be?
I haue told my Lord of you, he is comming down to you.
I thanke you Sir.
Heere's my Lord.
One of Lord Timons men? A Guift I warrant. Why this hits right: I dreampt of a Siluer Baſon & Ewre to night. Flaminius, honeſt Flaminius, you are verie re
His health is well ſir.
I am right glad that his health is well ſir: and what haſt thou there vnder thy Cloake, pretty Flaminius?
Faith, nothing but an empty box Sir, which in my Lords behal
La, la, la, la: Nothing doubting ſayes hee? Alas good Lord, a Noble Gentleman 'tis, if he would not keep ſo good a houſe. Many a time and often I ha din'd with him, and told him on't, and come againe to ſupper to him of purpoſe, to haue him ſpend leſſe, and yet he wold em
Pleaſe your Lordſhip, heere is the Wine.
Your Lordſhip ſpeakes your pleaſure.
I haue obſerued thee alwayes for a towardlie prompt ſpirit, giue thee thy due, and one that knowes what belongs to reaſon; and canſt vſe the time wel, if the time vſe thee well. Good parts in thee; get you gone ſirFlaminius. Thy Lords a bounSolidares for thee, good Boy winke at me, and ſay thou ſaw'ſt mee not. Fare thee well.
Ha? Now I ſee thou art a Foole, and ſit for thy Maſter.
Who the Lord Timon? He is my very good friend and an Honourable Gentleman.
We know him for no leſſe, thogh we are but ſtranTimons happie howres are done and paſt, and his eſtate ſhrinkes from him.
Fye no, doe not beleeue it: hee cannot want for money.
But beleeue you this my Lord, that not long agoe, one of his men was with the Lord Lucullus, to borrow ſo many Talents, nay vrg'd extreamly for't, and ſhewed
How?
I tell you, deny'de my Lord.
What a ſtrange caſe was that? Now before the Gods I am aſham'd on't. Denied that honourable man? There was verie little Honour ſhew'd in't. For my owne part, I muſt needes confeſſe, I haue receyued ſome ſmall kindneſſes from him, as Money, Plate, Iewels, and ſuch like Trifles; nothing comparing to his: yet had hee mi
See, by good hap yonders my Lord, I haue ſwet to ſee his Honor. My Honor'd Lord.
Seruilius? You are kindely met ſir. Farthewell, commend me to thy Honourable vertuous Lord, my ve
May it pleaſe your Honour, my Lord hath ſent—
Ha? what ha's he ſent? I am ſo much endeered to that Lord; hee's euer ſending: how ſhall I thank him think'ſt thou? And what has he ſent now?
Has onely ſent his preſent Occaſion now my Lord: requeſting your Lordſhip to ſupply his inſtant vſe with ſo many Talents.
Doſt thou ſpeake ſeriouſly Seruilius?
Vpon my ſoule, 'tis true Sir.
What a wicked Beaſt was I to disfurniſh my ſelf againſt ſuch a good time, when I might ha ſhewn my ſelfe Honourable? How vnluckily it hapned, that I ſhold Purchaſe the day before for a little part, and vndo a great deale of Honour? Seruilius ▪
now before the Gods I am not able to do (the more beaſt I ſay) I was ſending to vſe Lord
Yes ſir, I ſhall.
Do you obſerue this Hoſtilius?
I, to well.
Religion grones at it.
Excellent: Your Lordſhips a goodly Villain: the diuell knew not what he did, when hee made man Poli
Well met, goodmorrow Titus & Hortenſius
The like to you kinde Varro.
Lucius, what do we meet together?
So is theirs, and ours.
And ſir Philotus too.
Good day at once.
Labouring for Nine.
So much?
Is not my Lord ſeene yet?
Not yet.
I wonder on't, he was wont to ſhine at ſeauen.
I am of your feare, for that.
Moſt true, he doe's.
It is againſt my heart.
Fiue thouſand mine.
One of Lord Timons men.
Flaminius? Sir, a word: Pray is my Lord readie to come forth?
No, indeed he is not.
We attend his Lordſhip: pray ſignifie ſo much.
I need not tell him that, he knowes you are too diligent.
Do you heare, ſir?
By your leaue, ſir.
What do ye aske of me, my Friend.
We waite for certaine Money heere, ſir.
I, but this anſwer will not ſerue.
How? What does his caſheer'd Worſhip mutter?
No matter what, hee's poore, and that's re
Oh heere's Seruilius: now wee ſhall know ſome anſwere.
If I might beſeech you Gentlemen, to repayre ſome other houre, I ſhould deriue much from't. For tak't of my ſoule, my Lord leanes wondrouſly to diſcontent: His comfortable temper has forſooke him, he's much out of health, and keepes his Chamber.
Good Gods.
Seruilius helpe, my Lord, my Lord.
Put in now Titus.
My Lord, heere is my Bill.
Here's mine.
And mine, my Lord.
And ours, my Lord.
All our Billes.
Knocke me downe with 'em, cleaue mee to the Girdle.
Alas, my Lord.
Cut my heart in ſummes.
Mine, fifty Talents.
Tell out my blood.
Fiue thouſand Crownes, my Lord.
My Lord.
My Lord.
Teare me, take me, and the Gods fall vpon you.
Faith I perceiue our Maſters may throwe their caps at their money, theſe debts may well be call'd deſpe
They haue e'ene put my breath from mee the ſlaues. Creditors? Diuels.
My deere Lord.
What if it ſhould be ſo?
My Lord.
Ile haue it ſo. My Steward?
Heere my Lord.
O my Lord, you onely ſpeake from your diſtra
Moſt true; the Law ſhall bruiſe 'em.
Honor, health, and compaſſion to the Senate.
Now Captaine.
My Lord.
You breath in vaine.
What's that?
He dyes.
How?
Call me to your remembrances.
What.
The good time of day to you, ſir.
I alſo wiſh it to you: I thinke this Honorable Lord did but try vs this other day.
Vpon that were my thoughts tyring when wee en
It ſhould not be, by the perſwaſion of his new Fea
I ſhould thinke ſo. He hath ſent mee an earneſt in
In like manner was I in debt to my importunat bu
I am ſicke of that greefe too, as I vnderſtand how all things go.
Euery man heares ſo: what would hee haue borro
A thouſand Peeces.
A thouſand Peeces?
What of you?
He ſent to me ſir—Heere he comes.
With all my heart Gentlemen both; and how fare you?
Euer at the beſt, hearing well of your Lordſhip.
The Swallow followes not Summer more willing, then we your Lordſhip.
Nor more willingly leaues Winter, ſuch Sum
I hope it remaines not vnkindely with your Lord
O ſir, let it not trouble you.
My Noble Lord.
Ah my good Friend, what cheere?
My moſt Honorable Lord, I am e'ne ſick of ſhame, that when your Lordſhip this other day ſent to me, I was ſo vnfortunate a Beggar.
Thinke not on't, ſir.
If you had ſent but two houres before.
All couer'd Diſhes.
Royall Cheare, I warrant you.
Doubt not that, if money and the ſeaſon can yeild it
How do you? What's the newes?
Alcibiades is baniſh'd: heare you of it?
Alcibiades baniſh'd?
'Tis ſo, be ſure of it.
How? How?
I pray you vpon what?
My worthy Friends, will you draw neere?
Ile tell you more anon. Here's a Noble feaſt toward
This is the old man ſtill.
Wilt hold? Wilt hold?
It do's: but time will, and ſo.
I do conceyue.
Each man to his ſtoole, with that ſpurre as hee would to the lip of his Miſtris: your dyet ſhall bee in all places alike. Make not a Citie Feaſt of it, to let the meat coole, ere we can agree vpon the firſt place. Sit, ſit. The Gods require our Thankes.
You great Benefactors, ſprinkle our Society with Thankefulneſſe. For your owne guifts, make your ſelues prais'd: But reſerue ſtill to giue, leaſt your Deities be deſpiſed. Lend to each man enough, that one neede not lend to another. For were your Godheads to borrow of men, men would forſake the Gods. Make the Meate be beloued, more then the Man that giues it. Let no Aſſembly of Twenty, be without a ſcore of Villaines. If there ſit twelue Women at the Table, let a dozen of them bee as they are. The reſt of your Fees, O Gods, the Senators of Athens, together with the common legge of People, what is amiſſe in them, you Gods, make ſuteable for deſtruction. For theſe my preſent Friends, as they are to mee nothing, ſo in nothing bleſſe them, and to nothing are they welcome.
Vncouer Dogges, and lap.
What do's his Lordſhip meane?
I know not.
How now, my Lords?
Know you the quality of Lord Timons fury?
Puſh, did you ſee my Cap?
I haue loſt my Gowne.
He's but a mad Lord, & nought but humors ſwaies him. He gaue me a Iewell th' other day, and now hee has beate it out of my hat.
Did you ſee my Iewell?
Did you ſee my Cap.
Heere 'tis.
Heere lyes my Gowne.
Let's make no ſtay.
Lord Timons mad.
I feel't vpon my bones.
One day he giues vs Diamonds, next day ſtones.
All broken Implements of a ruin'd houſe.
What art thou there? ſpeake.
Thy lips rot off.
How came the Noble Timon to this change?
Noble Timon, what friendſhip may I do thee?
None, but to maintaine my opinion.
What is it Timon?
Promiſe me Friendſhip, but performe none. If thou wilt not promiſe, the Gods plague thee, for thou art a man: if thou do'ſt performe, confound thee, for thou art a man.
I haue heard in ſome ſort of thy Miſeries.
Thou ſaw'ſt them when I had proſperitie.
I ſee them now, then was a bleſſed time.
As thine is now, held with a brace of Harlots.
Is this th' Athenian Minion, whom the world Voic'd ſo regardfully?
Art thou Timandra?
Yes.
Be a whore ſtill, they loue thee not that vſe thee, giue them diſeaſes, leauing with thee their Luſt. Make vſe of thy ſalt houres, ſeaſon the ſlaues for Tubbes and Bathes, bring downe Roſe-checkt youth to the Pubfaſt, and the Diet.
Hang thee Monſter.
I prythee beate thy Drum, and get thee gone.
I am thy Friend, and pitty thee deere Timon.
Keepe it, I cannot eate it.
When I haue laid proud Athens on a heape.
Warr'ſt thou 'gainſt Athens.
I Timon, and haue cauſe.
Why me, Timon?
Haſt thou Gold yet, Ile take the Gold thou gi
Doſt thou or doſt thou not, Heauens curſe vpon thee.
Giue vs ſome Gold good Timon, haſt yu more?
More counſell with more Money, bounteous Timon.
More whore, more Miſcheefe firſt, I haue gi
Strike vp the Drum towardes Athens, farewell Timon: if I thriue well, Ile viſit thee againe.
If I hope well, Ile neuer ſee thee more.
I neuer did thee harme.
Yes, thou ſpok'ſt well of me.
Call'ſt thou that harme?
We but offend him, ſtrike.
Were I like thee, I'de throw away my ſelfe.
A Foole of thee: depart.
I loue thee better now, then ere I did.
I hate thee worſe.
Why?
Thou flatter'ſt miſery.
I flatter not, but ſay thou art a Caytiffe.
Why do'ſt thou ſeeke me out?
To vex thee.
I.
What, a Knaue too?
Art thou proud yet?
I, that I am not thee.
I, that I was no Prodigall.
Heere, I will mend thy Feaſt.
Firſt mend thy company, take away thy ſelfe.
So I ſhall mend mine owne, by' th' lacke of thine
What would'ſt thou haue to Athens?
Heere is no vſe for Gold.
Where lyeſt a nights Timon?
Where my ſtomacke findes meate, or rather where I eate it.
Would poyſon were obedient, & knew my mind
Where would'ſt thou ſend it?
To ſawce thy diſhes.
The middle of Humanity thou neuer kneweſt, but the extremitie of both ends. When thou waſt in thy Gilt, and thy Perfume, they mockt thee for too much Curioſitie: in thy Ragges thou know'ſt none, but art de
On what I hate, I feed not.
Do'ſt hate a Medler?
I, though it looke like thee.
And th' hadſt hated Medlers ſooner, yu ſhould'ſt haue loued thy ſelfe better now. What man didd'ſt thou euer know vnthrift, that was beloued after his meanes?
Who without thoſe meanes thou talk'ſt of, didſt thou euer know belou'd?
My ſelfe.
I vnderſtand thee: thou had'ſt ſome meanes to keepe a Dogge.
What things in the world canſt thou neereſt compare to thy Flatterers?
Women neereſt, but men: men are the things themſelues. What would'ſt thou do with the world Apemantus, if it lay in thy power?
Giue it the Beaſts, to be rid of the men.
Would'ſt thou haue thy ſelfe fall in the confu
I Timon.
A beaſtly Ambition, which the Goddes graunt thee t' attaine to. If thou wert the Lyon, the Fox would beguile thee
How ha's the Aſſe broke the wall, that thou art out of the Citie.
Would thou would'ſt burſt.
Away thou tedious Rogue, I am ſorry I ſhall loſe a ſtone by thee.
Beaſt.
Slaue.
Toad.
Throng'd too?
I.
Thy backe I prythee.
Liue, and loue thy miſery.
Long liue ſo, and ſo dye. I am quit.
Where ſhould he haue this Gold? It is ſome poore Fragment, ſome ſlender Ort of his remainder: the meere want of Gold, and the falling from of his Friendes, droue him into this Melancholly.
Let vs make the aſſay vpon him, if he care not for't, he will ſupply vs eaſily: if he couetouſly reſerue it, how ſhall's get it?
Is not this hee?
Where?
'Tis his deſcription.
He? I know him.
Saue thee Timon.
Now Theeues.
Soldiers, not Theeues.
Both too, and womens Sonnes.
Has almoſt charm'd me from my Profeſſion, by per
'Tis in the malice of mankinde, that he thus aduiſes vs not to haue vs thriue in our myſtery.
Let vs firſt ſee peace in Athens, there is no time ſo miſerable, but a man may be true.
Away: what art thou?
Haue you forgot me, Sir?
An honeſt poore ſeruant of yours.
O let me ſtay, and comfort you, my Maſter.
As I tooke note of the place, it cannot be farre where he abides.
Haile worthy Timon.
Our late Noble Maſter.
I, you are honeſt man.
So, ſo, my Lord.
You'l take it ill.
Moſt thankefully, my Lord.
Will you indeed?
Doubt it not worthy Lord.
Do we, my Lord?
I know none ſuch, my Lord.
Nor I.
Name them my Lord, let's know them.
Worthy Timon.
The Senators of Athens, greet thee Timon.
Therefore Timon.
Stay not, all's in vaine.
We ſpeake in vaine.
That's well ſpoke.
Commend me to my louing Countreymen.
Theſe words become your lippes as they paſſe tho
I like this well, he will returne againe.
Trouble him no further, thus you ſtill ſhall Finde him.
His diſcontents are vnremoueably coupled to Na
It requires ſwift foot.
We ſtand much hazard, if they bring not Timon.
Heere come our Brothers.
'Tis moſt Nobly ſpoken.
Deſcend, and keepe your words.
Why Sir, a Carpenter.
Truely Sir, in reſpect of a fine Workman, I am but as you would ſay, a Cobler.
But what Trade art thou? Anſwer me directly.
A Trade Sir, that I hope I may vſe, with a ſafe Conſcience, which is indeed Sir, a Mender of bad ſoules.
What Trade thou knaue? Thou naughty knaue, what Trade?
Nay I beſeech you Sir, be not out with me: yet if you be out Sir, I can mend you.
What mean'ſt thou by that? Mend mee, thou ſawcy Fellow?
Why ſir, Cobble you.
Thou art a Cobler, art thou?
Truly ſir, all that I liue by, is with the Aule: I meddle with no Tradeſmans matters, nor womens mat
Truly ſir, to weare out their ſhooes, to get my ſelfe into more worke. But indeede ſir, we make HolyCaeſar, and to reioyce in his Triumph.
Calphurnia.
Peace ho, Caeſar ſpeakes.
Calphurnia.
Heere my Lord.
Caeſar, my Lord.
Set on, and leaue no Ceremony out.
Caeſar.
Ha? Who calles?
Bid euery noyſe be ſtill: peace yet againe.
Beware the Ides of March.
What man is that?
A Sooth-ſayer bids you beware the Ides of March
Set him before me, let me ſee his face.
Fellow, come from the throng, look vpon Caeſar.
What ſayſt thou to me now? Speake once againe.
Beware the Ides of March.
He is a Dreamer, let vs leaue him: Paſſe.
Will you go ſee the order of the courſe?
Not I.
I pray you do.
Caska will tell vs what the matter is.
Antonio.
Caeſar.
You pul'd me by the cloake, would you ſpeake with me?
Why you were with him, were you not?
I ſhould not then aske Caska what had chanc'd.
Why there was a Crowne offer'd him; & being offer'd him, he put it by with the backe of his hand thus, and then the people fell a ſhouting.
What was the ſecond noyſe for?
Why for that too.
They ſhouted thrice: what was the laſt cry for?
Why for that too.
Was the Crowne offer'd him thrice?
I marry was't, and hee put it by thrice, euerie time gentler then other; and at euery putting by, mine honeſt Neighbors ſhowted.
Who offer'd him the Crowne?
Why Antony.
Tell vs the manner of it, gentle Caska.
I can as well bee hang'd as tell the manner of it: It was meere Foolerie, I did not marke it. I ſawe Marke Antony offer him a Crowne, yet 'twas not a Crowne neyther, 'twas one of theſe Coronets: and as I told you, hee put it by once: but for all that, to my thinCaeſar refus'd the Crowne, that it had (almoſt) choaked Caeſar: for hee ſwoonded, and fell downe at it: And for mine owne part, I durſt not laugh, for feare of opening my Lippes, and receyuing the bad Ayre.
But ſoft I pray you: what, did Caeſar ſwound?
He fell downe in the Market-place, and foam'd at mouth, and was ſpeechleſſe.
'Tis very like he hath the Falling ſickneſſe.
I know not what you meane by that, but I am ſure Caeſar fell downe. If the tag-ragge people did not clap him, and hiſſe him, according as he pleas'd, and diſ
What ſaid he, when he came vnto himſelfe?
Marry, before he fell downe, when he perceiu'd the common Heard was glad he refus'd the Crowne, he pluckt me ope his Doublet, and offer'd them his Throat to cut: and I had beene a man of any Occupation, if I would not haue taken him at a word, I would I might goe to Hell among the Rogues, and ſo hee fell. When he came to himſelfe againe, hee ſaid, If hee had done, or ſaid any thing amiſſe, he deſir'd their Worſhips to thinke it was his infirmitie. Three or foure Wenches where I ſtood, cryed, Alaſſe good Soule, and forgaue him with all their hearts: But there's no heed to be taken of them; if Caeſar had ſtab'd their Mothers, they would haue done no leſſe.
And after that, he came thus ſad away.
I.
Did Cicero ſay any thing?
I, he ſpoke Greeke.
To what effect?
Nay, and I tell you that, Ile ne're looke you i' th' face againe. But thoſe that vnderſtood him, ſmil'd at one another, and ſhooke their heads: but for mine owne part, it was Greeke to me. I could tell you more newes too: Murrellus and Flauius, for pulling Scarffes off Caeſars Images, are put to ſilence. Fare you well. There was more Foolerie yet, if I could remem
Will you ſuppe with me to Night, Caska?
No, I am promis'd forth.
Will you Dine with me to morrow?
Good, I will expect you.
Doe ſo: farewell both.
Why, ſaw you any thing more wonderfull?
Farewell Cicero.
Who's there?
A Romane
Caska ▪
by your Voyce.
A very pleaſing Night
Who euer knew the Heauens menace ſo?
Stand cloſe a while, for heere comes one in haſte.
To finde out you: Who's that, Metellus Cymber?
Am I not ſtay'd for? tell me.
Call'd you, my Lord?
I will, my Lord.
I know not, Sir.
Looke in the Calender, and bring me word.
I will, Sir.
Sir, March is waſted fifteene dayes.
Is he alone?
No, Sir, there are moe with him.
Doe you know them?
He is welcome hither.
This, Decius Brutus.
He is welcome too.
This, Caska; this, Cinna; and this, Metellus Cymber.
Shall I entreat a word?
Here lyes the Eaſt: doth not the Day breake heere?
No.
Giue me your hands all ouer, one by one.
And let vs ſweare our Reſolution.
Let vs not leaue him out.
No, by no meanes.
Then leaue him out.
Indeed, he is not fit.
Shall no man elſe be toucht, but onely Caeſar?
Peace, count the Clocke.
The Clocke hath ſtricken three.
'Tis time to part.
Nay, we will all of vs, be there to fetch him
By the eight houre, is that the vttermoſt?
Be that the vttermoſt, and faile not then.
Brutus, my Lord.
I am not well in health, and that is all.
Why ſo I do: good Portia go to bed.
Kneele not gentle Portia.
Heere is a ſicke man that would ſpeak with you.
Vouchſafe good morrow from a feeble tongue.
But are not ſome whole
Follow me then.
My Lord.
I will my Lord.
Say he is ſicke.
And this way haue you well expounded it.
Good morrow Caeſar.
Caeſar, 'tis ſtrucken eight.
So to moſt Noble Caeſar.
Caeſar, beware of Brutus, take heede of Caſsius; come not
neere Caska, haue an eye to Cynna, truſt not Trebonius, marke well Metellus Cymber, Decius Brutus loues thee not: Thou haſt wrong'd Caius Ligarius. There is but one minde in all theſe men, and it is bent againſt Caeſar: If thou beeſt not Immortall, looke about you: Security giues way to Conſpiracie. The mighty Gods defend thee.
To know my errand Madam.
I heare none Madam.
Sooth Madam, I heare nothing.
Come hither Fellow, which way haſt thou bin?
At mine owne houſe, good Lady.
What is't a clocke?
About the ninth houre Lady.
Is Caeſar yet gone to the Capitoll?
Thou haſt ſome ſuite to Caeſar, haſt thou not?
Why know'ſt thou any harme's intended to
The Ides of March are come.
I Caeſar, but not gone.
Haile Caeſar: Read this Scedule.
What touches vs our ſelfe, ſhall be laſt ſeru'd.
Delay not Caeſar, read it inſtantly.
What, is the fellow mad?
Sirra, giue place.
I wiſh your enterprize to day may thriue.
What enterprize Popillius?
Fare you well.
What ſaid Popillius Lena?
Looke how he makes to Caeſar: marke him.
He is addreſt: preſſe neere, and ſecond him.
Caska, you are the firſt that reares your hand.
What Brutus?
O Caeſar.
Hence: Wilt thou lift vp Olympus?
Great Caeſar.
Doth not Brutus bootleſſe kneele?
Speake hands for me.
Et Tu Brutè?—Then fall Caeſar.
Go to the Pulpit Brutus.
And Caſſius too.
Where's Publius?
Heere, quite confounded with this mutiny.
Where is Antony?
What, ſhall we forth?
Soft, who comes heere? A friend of Antonies.
Ile fetch him preſently.
I know that we ſhall haue him well to Friend.
Mark Antony.
You ſhall Marke Antony.
I know not what may fall, I like it not.
I do Marke Antony.
Caeſar did write for him to come to Rome.
He lies to night within ſeuen Leagues of Rome.
We will be ſatisfied: let vs be ſatisfied
I will heare Brutus ſpeake.
The Noble Brutus is aſcended: Silence.
Be patient till the laſt. Romans, Countrey-men, and Louers, heare mee for my cauſe, and be ſilent, that you may heare. Beleeue me for mine Honor, and haue reſpect to mine Honor, that you may beleeue. Cenſure me in your Wiſedom, and awake your Senſes, that you may the better Iudge. If there bee any in this Aſſembly, any deere Friend of Caeſars, to him I ſay, that Brutus loue to Caeſar, was no leſſe then his. If then, that Friend demand, why Brutus roſe againſt Caeſar, this is my anſwer: Not that I lou'd
None Brutus, none.
Then none haue I offended. I haue done no more to Caeſar, then you ſhall do to Brutus. The Queſti
Heere comes his Body, mourn'd by Marke Antony, who though he had no hand in his death, ſhall receiue the be
Liue Brutus, liue, liue.
Bring him with Triumph home vnto his houſe.
Giue him a Statue with his Anceſtors.
Let him be Caeſar.
My Country-men.
Peace, ſilence, Brutus ſpeakes.
Peace ho.
Stay ho, and let vs heare Mark Antony.
For Brutus ſake, I am beholding to you.
What does he ſay of Brutus?
'Twere beſt he ſpeake no harme of Brutus heere?
This Caeſar was a Tyrant.
Peace, let vs heare what Antony can ſay.
You gentle Romans.
Peace hoe, let vs heare him.
Me thinkes there is much reaſon in his ſayings.
Ha's hee Maſters? I feare there will a worſe come in his place.
If it be found ſo, ſome will deere abide it.
Poore ſoule, his eyes are red as fire with weeping.
There's not a Nobler man in Rome then Antony.
Now marke him, he begins againe to ſpeake.
Wee'l heare the Will, reade it Marke Antony.
The Will, the Will; we will heare Caeſars Will.
They were Traitors: Honourable men?
The Will, the Teſtament.
They were Villaines, Murderers: the Will, read the Will.
Come downe.
Deſcend.
You ſhall haue leaue.
A Ring, ſtand round.
Stand from the Hearſe, ſtand from the Body.
Roome for Antony, moſt Noble Antony.
Nay preſſe not ſo vpon me, ſtand farre off.
Stand backe: roome, beare backe.
O pitteous ſpectacle!
O Noble Caeſar!
O wofull day!
O Traitors, Villaines!
O moſt bloody ſight!
Stay Country-men.
Peace there, heare the Noble Antony.
Wee'l heare him, wee'l follow him, wee'l dy with him.
Wee'l Mutiny.
Wee'l burne the houſe of Brutus.
Away then, come, ſeeke the Conſpirators.
Yet heare me Countrymen, yet heare me ſpeake
Peace hoe, heare Antony, moſt Noble Antony.
Moſt true, the Will, let's ſtay and heare the Wil.
Moſt Noble Caeſar, wee'l reuenge his death.
O Royall Caeſar.
Heare me with patience.
Peace hoe
Go fetch fire.
Plucke downe Benches.
Plucke downe Formes, Windowes, any thing.
Sir, Octauius is already come to Rome.
Where is hee?
He and Lepidus are at Caeſars houſe.
What is your name?
Whether are you going?
Where do you dwell?
Are you a married man, or a Batchellor?
Anſwer euery man directly.
I, and breefely.
I, and wiſely.
I, and truly, you were beſt.
What is my name? Whether am I going? Where do I dwell? Am I a married man, or a Batchellour? Then to anſwer euery man, directly and breefely, wiſely and truly: wiſely I ſay, I am a Batchellor.
That's as much as to ſay, they are fooles that mar
Directly I am going to Caeſars Funerall.
As a Friend, or an Enemy?
As a friend.
That matter is anſwered directly.
For your dwelling: breefely.
Breefely, I dwell by the Capitoll.
Your name ſir, truly.
Truly, my name is Cinna.
Teare him to peeces, hee's a Conſpirator.
I am Cinna the Poet I am Cinna the Poet.
Teare him for his bad verſes, teare him for his bad Verſes.
I am not Cinna the Conſpirator.
It is no matter, his name's Cinna, plucke but his name out of his heart, and turne him going.
Teare him, tear him; Come Brands hoe, Firebrands: to Brutus, to Caſſius, burne all. Some to Decius Houſe, and ſome to Caska's; ſome to Ligarius: Away, go.
Theſe many then ſhall die, their names are prickt
Your Brother too muſt dye: conſent you Lepidus?
I do conſent.
Pricke him downe Antony.
What? ſhall I finde you heere?
Or heere, or at the Capitoll.
Stand ho.
Giue the word ho, and Stand.
What now Lucillius, is Caſſius neere?
Stand ho.
Moſt Noble Brother, you haue done me wrong.
You wrong'd your ſelfe to write in ſuch a caſe.
Chaſticement?
Go too: you are not Caſſius.
I am.
I ſay, you are not.
Away ſlight man.
Is't poſſible?
O ye Gods, ye Gods, Muſt I endure all this?
Is it come to this?
If you did, I care not.
When Caeſar liu'd, he durſt not thus haue mou'd me.
Peace, peace, you durſt not ſo haue tempted him.
I durſt not.
No.
What? durſt not tempt him?
For your life you durſt not.
I deny'd you not.
You did.
I do not, till you practice them on me.
You loue me not.
I do not like your faults.
A friendly eye could neuer ſee ſuch faults.
When I ſpoke that, I was ill temper'd too.
Do you confeſſe ſo much? Giue me your hand.
And my heart too.
O Brutus!
What's the matter?
You ſhall not come to them.
Nothing but death ſhall ſtay me.
How now? What's the matter?
Ha, ha, how vildely doth this Cynicke rime?
Get you hence ſirra: Sawcy Fellow, hence.
Beare with him Brutus, 'tis his faſhion.
And come your ſelues, & bring Meſſala with you Immediately to vs.
Lucius, a bowle of Wine.
I did not thinke you could haue bin ſo angry.
O Caſſius, I am ſicke of many greefes.
No man beares ſorrow better. Portia is dead.
Ha? Portia?
She is dead.
And dy'd ſo?
Euen ſo.
O ye immortall Gods!
Portia, art thou gone?
My ſelfe haue Letters of the ſelfe-ſame Tenure.
With what Addition.
Cicero one?
No Meſſala.
Nor nothing in your Letters writ of her?
Nothing Meſſala.
That me thinkes is ſtrange.
No my Lord.
Now as you are a Roman tell me true.
Euen ſo great men, great loſſes ſhold indure.
I do not thinke it good.
Your reaſon?
Heare me good Brother.
Euery thing is well.
Good night my Lord.
Good night good Brother.
Good night Lord Brutus.
Heere in the Tent.
Varrus, and Claudio.
Cals my Lord?
I was ſure your Lordſhip did not giue it me.
I my Lord, an't pleaſe you.
It is my duty Sir.
I haue ſlept my Lord already.
Thy euill Spirit Brutus?
Why com'ſt thou?
To tell thee thou ſhalt ſee me at Philippi.
Well: then I ſhall ſee thee againe?
I, at Philippi.
The ſtrings my Lord, are falſe.
My Lord.
Did'ſt thou dreame Lucus, that thou ſo cryedſt out?
My Lord, I do not know that I did cry.
Yes that thou did'ſt: Did'ſt thou ſee any thing?
Nothing my Lord.
My Lord.
My Lord.
Why did you ſo cry out ſirs, in your ſleepe?
Did we my Lord?
I: ſaw you any thing?
No my Lord, I ſaw nothing.
Nor I my Lord.
It ſhall be done my Lord.
Vpon the right hand I, keepe thou the left.
Why do you croſſe me in this exigent.
I do not croſſe you: but I will do ſo.
They ſtand, and would haue parley.
Titinius, we muſt out and talke.
Mark Antony, ſhall we giue ſigne of Battaile?
Stirre not vntill the Signall.
Words before blowes: is it ſo Countrymen?
Not that we loue words better, as you do.
Good words are better then bad ſtrokes Octauius.
Not ſtingleſſe too.
Old Caſſius ſtill.
Ho Lucillius, hearke, a word with you.
My Lord.
Meſſala.
What ſayes my Generall?
Beleeue not ſo.
Euen ſo Lucillius.
They are, my Lord.
I will be heere againe, euen with a thought.
Aboue. O my Lord.
What newes?
Theſe tydings will well comfort Caſſius.
Is not that he that lyes vpon the ground?
He lies not like the Liuing. O my heart!
Is not that hee?
What Pindarus? Where art thou Pindarus?
Where, where Meſſala, doth his body lye?
Loe yonder, and Titinius mourning it.
Titinius face is vpward.
He is ſlaine.
Yet Country-men: O yet, hold vp your heads.
Yeeld, or thou dyeſt.
We muſt not: a Noble Priſoner.
Roome hoe: tell Antony, Brutus is tane.
Where is hee?
Come poore remaines of friends, reſt on this Rocke.
What I, my Lord? No, not for all the World.
Peace then, no words.
Ile rather kill my ſelfe.
Hearke thee, Dardanius.
Shall I doe ſuch a deed?
O Dardanius.
O Clitus.
What ill requeſt did Brutus make to thee?
To kill him, Clitus: looke he meditates.
Come hither, good
Ʋolumnius, liſt a word.
What ſayes my Lord?
Not ſo, my Lord.
That's not an Office for a friend, my Lord.
Fly, flye my Lord, there is no tarrying heere.
Fly my Lord, flye.
Giue me your hand firſt. Fare you wel my Lord.
What man is that?
My Maſters man. Strato, where is thy Maſter?
I, if Meſſala will preferre me to you.
Do ſo, good Meſſala.
How dyed my Maſter Strato?
I held the Sword, and he did run on it.
That will be ere the ſet of Sunne.
Where the place?
Vpon the Heath.
There to meet with Macbeth.
I come, Gray-Malkin.
O valiant Couſin, worthy Gentlemen.
Diſmay'd not this our Captaines, Macbeth and Banquoh?
The worthy Thane of Roſſe.
God ſaue the King.
Whence cam'ſt thou, worthy Thane?
Great happineſſe.
Ile ſee it done.
What he hath loſt, Noble Macbeth hath wonne.
Where haſt thou beene, Siſter?
Killing Swine.
Siſter, where thou?
Ile giue thee a Winde.
Th' art kinde.
And I another.
Shew me, ſhew me.
So foule and faire a day I haue not ſeene.
Speake if you can: what are you?
All haile Macbeth, haile to thee Thane of Glamis.
All haile Macbeth, haile to thee Thane of Cawdor.
All haile Macbeth, that ſhalt be King hereafter.
Hayle.
Hayle.
Hayle.
Leſſer then Macbeth, and greater.
Not ſo happy, yet much happyer.
Banquo, and Macbeth, all haile.
Your Children ſhall be Kings.
You ſhall be King.
And Thane of Cawdor too: went it not ſo?
Toth' ſelfe-ſame tune
What, can the Deuill ſpeake true?
Looke how our Partner's rapt.
Worthy Macbeth, wee ſtay vpon your ley
Very gladly.
My worthy Cawdor.
They met me in the day of ſucceſſe: and I haue learn'd by the perfect'ſt report, they haue more in them, then mortall knowledge. When I burnt in deſire to queſtion them further ▪ they made themſelues Ayre, into which they vaniſh'd. Whiles I ſtood rapt in the wonder of it, came Miſſiues from the King, who all-hail'd me Thane
The King comes here to Night.
And when goes hence?
To morrow, as he purpoſes.
We will ſpeake further.
He has almoſt ſupt: why haue you left the chamber?
Hath he ask'd for me?
Know you not, he ha's?
If we ſhould faile?
How goes the Night, Boy?
The Moone is downe: I haue not heard the Clock.
And ſhe goes downe at Twelue.
I take't, 'tis later, Sir.
A Friend.
At your kind'ſt leyſure.
Good repoſe the while.
Thankes Sir: the like to you.
Who's there? what hoa?
When?
Now.
As I deſcended?
I.
Hearke, who lyes i' th' ſecond Chamber?
Donalbaine.
This is a ſorry ſight.
A fooliſh thought, to ſay a ſorry ſight.
There are two lodg'd together.
Conſider it not ſo deepely.
What doe you meane?
Here's a knocking indeede: if a man were Porter of Hell Gate, hee ſhould haue old turning the Key. Knock. Knock, Knock, Knock. Who's there i' th' name of Belzebub? Here's a Farmer, that hang'd himſelfe on th' expectation of Plentie: Come in time, haue Napkins enow about you, here you'le ſweat for't. Knock. Knock, knock. Who's there in th' other Deuils Name? Faith here's an Equiuocator, that could ſweare in both the Scales againſt eyther Scale, who committed Treaſon enough for Gods ſake, yet could not equiuocate to HeaKnock. Knock, Knock, Knock. Who's there? 'Faith here's an Engliſh Taylor come hither, for ſtealing out of a French Hoſe: Come in Taylor, here you may roſt your Gooſe. Knock. Knock, Knock. Neuer at quiet: What are you? but this place is too cold for Hell. Ile Deuill-Porter it no further: I had thought to haue let in ſome of all Profeſſions, that goe the Primroſe way to th' euerlaſting Bonfire. Knock. Anon, anon, I pray you remember the Porter.
What three things does Drinke eſpecially prouoke?
Marry, Sir
I beleeue, Drinke gaue thee the Lye laſt Night.
That it did, Sir, i' the very Throat on me: but I requited him for his Lye, and (I thinke) being too ſtrong for him, though he tooke vp my Legges ſometime, yet I made a Shift to caſt him.
Good morrow, Noble Sir.
Good morrow both.
Is the King ſtirring, worthy Thane?
Not yet.
Ile bring you to him.
Ile make ſo bold to call, for 'tis my limitted ſeruice.
Goes the King hence to day?
He does: he did appoint ſo.
'Twas a rough Night.
What's the matter?
What is't you ſay, the Life?
Meane you his Maieſtie?
What is amiſſe?
Your Royall Father's murther'd.
Oh, by whom?
Wherefore did you ſo?
Helpe me hence, hoa.
Looke to the Lady.
And ſo doe I.
So all.
Well contented.
'Tis ſaid, they eate each other.
Why ſee you not?
Is't known who did this more then bloody deed?
Thoſe that Macbeth hath ſlaine.
Where is Duncans body?
Will you to Scone?
No Coſin, Ile to Fife.
Well, I will thither.
Farewell, Father.
Heere's our chiefe Gueſt.
Ride you this afternoone?
I, my good Lord.
Faile not our Feaſt.
My Lord, I will not.
I, my good Lord: our time does call vpon's.
They are, my Lord, without the Pallace Gate.
It was, ſo pleaſe your Highneſſe.
You made it knowne to vs.
We are men, my Liege.
Both of you know Banquo was your Enemie.
True, my Lord.
Though our Liues—
We are reſolu'd, my Lord.
Is Banquo gone from Court?
I, Madame, but returnes againe to Night.
Madame, I will.
You muſt leaue this.
But in them, Natures Coppie's not eterne.
What's to be done?
But who did bid thee ioyne with vs?
Macbeth.
Hearke, I heare Horſes.
Giue vs a Light there, hoa.
His Horſes goe about.
A Light, a Light.
'Tis hee.
Stand too't.
It will be Rayne to Night.
Let it come downe.
Who did ſtrike out the Light?
Was't not the way?
There's but one downe: the Sonne is fled.
Well, let's away, and ſay how much is done.
Thankes to your Maieſty.
'Tis Banquo's then.
My Lord his throat is cut, that I did for him.
May't pleaſe your Highneſſe ſit.
The Table's full.
Heere is a place reſeru'd Sir.
Where?
Which of you haue done this?
What, my good Lord?
Gentlemen riſe, his Highneſſe is not well.
What? quite vnmann'd in folly.
If I ſtand heere, I ſaw him.
Fie for ſhame.
Our duties, and the pledge.
What ſights, my Lord?
A kinde goodnight to all.
Almoſt at oddes with morning, which is which.
Did you ſend to him Sir?
You lacke the ſeaſon of all Natures, ſleepe.
Why how now Hecat, you looke angerly?
Sent he to Macduffe?
Ile ſend my Prayers with him.
Thrice the brinded Cat hath mew'd.
Thrice, and once the Hedge-Pigge whin'd.
Harpier cries, 'tis time, 'tis time.
A deed without a name.
Speake.
Demand.
Wee'l anſwer.
Call 'em: let me ſee 'em.
Tell me, thou vnknowne power.
Macbeth, Macbeth, Macbeth.
Had I three eares, Il'd heare thee.
Liſten, but ſpeake not too't.
Seeke to know no more.
Shew.
Shew.
Shew.
What's your Graces will.
Saw you the Weyard Siſters?
No my Lord.
Came they not by you?
No indeed my Lord.
Fled to England?
I, my good Lord.
What had he done, to make him fly the Land?
You muſt haue patience Madam.
As Birds do Mother.
What with Wormes, and Flyes?
With what I get I meane, and ſo do they.
Nay how will you do for a Husband?
Why I can buy me twenty at any Market.
Then you'l by 'em to ſell againe.
Was my Father a Traitor, Mother?
I, that he was
What is a Traitor?
Why one that ſweares, and lyes.
And be all Traitors, that do ſo.
And muſt they all be hang'd, that ſwear and lye?
Euery one.
Who muſt hang them?
Why, the honeſt men.
Then the Liars and Swearers are Fools: for there are Lyars and Swearers enow, to beate the honeſt men, and hang vp them.
If he were dead, youl'd weepe for him: if you would not, it were a good ſigne, that I ſhould quickely haue a new Father.
Poore pratler, how thou talk'ſt?
Where is your Husband?
He's a Traitor.
Thou ly'ſt thou ſhagge-ear'd Villaine.
I am not treacherous.
I haue loſt my Hopes.
What ſhould he be?
O Scotland, Scotland.
I thanke you Doctor.
What's the Diſeaſe he meanes?
See who comes heere.
My Countryman: but yet I know him nor.
My euer gentle Cozen, welcome hither.
Sir, Amen.
Stands Scotland where it did?
Oh Relation; too nice, and yet too true.
What's the neweſt griefe?
How do's my Wife?
Why well.
And all my Children?
Well too.
The Tyrant ha's not batter'd at their peace?
No, they were wel at peace, when I did leaue 'em
Be not a niggard of your ſpeech: How gos't?
Humh: I gueſſe at it.
My Children too?
Wife, Children, Seruants, all that could be found.
And I muſt be from thence? My wife kil'd too?
I haue ſaid.
Diſpute it like a man.
I haue too Nights watch'd with you, but can perceiue no truth in your report. When was it ſhee laſt walk'd?
Since his Maieſty went into the Field, I haue ſeene her riſe from her bed, throw her Night-Gown vp
A great perturbation in Nature, to receyue at once the benefit of ſleep, and do the effects of watching. In this ſlumbry agitation, beſides her walking, and other actuall performances, what (at any time) haue you heard her ſay?
That Sir, which I will not report after her.
You may to me, and 'tis moſt meet you ſhould.
How came ſhe by that light?
Why it ſtood by her: ſhe ha's light by her con
You ſee her eyes are open.
I but their ſenſe are ſhut.
It is an accuſtom'd action with her, to ſeeme thus waſhing her hands: I haue knowne her continue in this a quarter of an houre.
Yet heere's a ſpot.
Heark, ſhe ſpeaks, I will ſet downe what comes from her, to ſatisfie my remembrance the more ſtrongly.
Out damned ſpot: out I ſay. One: Two: Why then 'tis time to doo't: Hell is murky. Fye, my Lord, fie, a Souldier, and affear'd? what need we feare? who knowes it, when none can call our powre to accompt: yet who would haue thought the olde man to haue had ſo much blood in him.
Do you marke that?
The Thane of Fife, had a wife: where is ſhe now? What will theſe hands ne're be cleane? No more o' that my Lord, no more o' that: you marre all with this ſtar
She ha's ſpoke what ſhee ſhould not, I am ſure of that: Heauen knowes what ſhe ha's knowne.
What a ſigh is there? The hart is ſorely charg'd.
I would not haue ſuch a heart in my boſome, for the dignity of the whole body.
Well, well, well.
Pray God it be ſir.
This diſeaſe is beyond my practiſe: yet I haue knowne thoſe which haue walkt in their ſleep, who haue dyed holily in their beds.
Waſh your hands, put on your Night-Gowne, looke not ſo pale: I tell you yet againe Banquo's buried; he cannot come out on's graue.
Euen ſo?
To bed, to bed: there's knocking at the gate: Come, come, come, come, giue me your hand: What's done, cannot be vndone. To bed, to bed, to bed.
Will ſhe go now to bed?
Directly.
Good night good Doctor.
Who knowes if Donalbane be with his brother?
What do's the Tyrant.
There is ten thouſand.
Geeſe Villaine?
Souldiers Sir.
The Engliſh Force, ſo pleaſe you.
What's your gracious pleaſure?
What Newes more?
All is confirm'd my Lord, which was reported.
'Tis not needed yet.
We doubt it nothing.
What wood is this before vs?
The wood of Birnane.
It ſhall be done.
It is the cry of women, my good Lord.
The Queene (my Lord) is dead.
Well, ſay ſir.
Lyar, and Slaue.
What is thy name?
Thou'lt be affraid to heare it.
My name's Macbeth.
No: nor more fearefull.
Enter Sir, the Caſtle.
Turne Hell-hound, turne.
I would the Friends we miſſe, were ſafe arriu'd.
Macduffe is miſſing, and your Noble Sonne.
Then he is dead?
Had he his hurts before?
I, on the Front.
Haile King of Scotland.
Nay anſwer me: Stand & vnfold your ſelfe.
Long liue the King.
Barnardo?
He.
You come moſt carefully vpon your houre.
'Tis now ſtrook twelue, get thee to bed Franciſco.
Haue you had quiet Guard?
Not a Mouſe ſtirring.
Well, goodnight. If you do meet Horatio and Marcellus, the Riuals of my Watch, bid them make haſt.
I thinke I heare them. Stand: who's there?
Friends to this ground.
And Leige-men to the Dane.
Giue you good night.
O farwel honeſt Soldier, who hath relieu'd you?
Barnardo ha's my place: giue you goodnight.
Holla Barnardo.
Say, what is Horatio there?
A peece of him.
Welcome Horatio, welcome good Marcellus.
What, ha's this thing appear'd againe to night.
I haue ſeene nothing.
Tuſh, tuſh, 'twill not appeare.
In the ſame figure, like the King that's dead.
Thou art a Scholler; ſpeake to it Horatio.
Lookes it not like the King? Marke it Horatio.
Moſt like: It harrowes me with fear & wonder
It would be ſpoke too.
Queſtion it Horatio.
It is offended.
See, it ſtalkes away.
Stay: ſpeake; ſpeake: I Charge thee, ſpeake.
'Tis gone, and will not anſwer.
Is it not like the King?
Shall I ſtrike at ir with my Partizan?
Do, if it will not ſtand.
'Tis heere.
'Tis heere.
It was about to ſpeake, when the Cocke crew.
In that, and all things, will we ſhew our duty.
A little more then kin, and leſſe then kinde.
How is it that the Clouds ſtill hang on you?
Not ſo my Lord, I am too much i' th' Sun.
I Madam, it is common.
Haile to your Lordſhip.
My good Lord.
A truant diſpoſition, good my Lord.
My Lord, I came to ſee your Fathers Funerall.
Indeed my Lord, it followed hard vpon.
Oh where my Lord?
In my minds eye (Horatio)
I ſaw him once; he was a goodly King.
My Lord, I thinke I ſaw him yeſternight.
Saw? Who?
My Lord, the King your Father.
The King my Father?
For Heauens loue let me heare.
But where was this?
My Lord vpon the platforme where we watcht.
Did you not ſpeake to it?
Tis very ſtrange.
We doe my Lord.
Arm'd, ſay you?
Arm'd, my Lord.
From top to toe?
My Lord, from head to foote.
Then ſaw you not his face?
O yes, my Lord, he wore his Beauer vp.
What, lookt he frowningly?
A countenance more in ſorrow then in anger.
Pale, or red?
Nay very pale.
And fixt his eyes vpon you?
Moſt conſtantly.
I would I had beene there.
It would haue much amaz'd you.
Very like, very like: ſtaid it long?
While one with moderate haſt might tell a hun
Longer, longer.
Not when I ſaw't.
His Beard was griſly? no.
Ile watch to Night; perchance 'twill wake a
I warrant you it will.
Our duty to your Honour.
Doe you doubt that?
No more but ſo.
Moſt humbly doe I take my leaue, my Lord.
The time inuites you, goe, your ſeruants tend.
Farewell.
What iſt Ophelia he hath ſaid to you?
So pleaſe you, ſomthing touching the L. Hamlet.
I do not know, my Lord, what I ſhould thinke.
I, faſhion you may call it, go too, go too.
I ſhall obey my Lord.
The Ayre bites ſhrewdly: is it very cold?
It is a nipping and an eager ayre.
What hower now?
I thinke it lacks of twelue.
No, it is ſtrooke.
Is it a cuſtome?
Looke my Lord, it comes.
Doe not my Lord.
It wafts me ſtill: goe on, Ile follow thee.
You ſhall not goe my Lord.
Hold off your band.
Be rul'd, you ſhall not goe.
He waxes deſperate with imagination.
Let's follow; 'tis not fit thus to obey him.
Haue after, to what iſſue will this come?
Something is rotten in the State of Denmarke.
Heauen will direct it.
Nay, let's follow him.
Where wilt thou lead me? ſpeak; Ile go no fur
Marke me.
I will.
Alas poore Ghoſt.
Speake, I am bound to heare.
So art thou to reuenge, when thou ſhalt heare.
What?
Oh Heauen!
Reuenge his foule and moſt vnnaturall Murther.
Murther?
O my Propheticke ſoule: mine Vncle?
My Lord, my Lord.
Lord Hamlet.
Heauen ſecure him.
So be it.
Illo, ho, ho, my Lord.
Hillo, ho, ho, boy; come bird, come.
How iſt't my Noble Lord?
What newes, my Lord?
Oh wonderfull!
Good my Lord tell it.
No you'l reueale it.
Not I, my Lord, by Heauen.
Nor I, my Lord.
I, by Heau'n, my Lord.
There needs no Ghoſt my Lord, come from the Graue, to tell vs this.
Theſe are but wild and hurling words, my Lord.
There's no offence my Lord.
What is't my Lord? we will.
Neuer make known what you haue ſeen to night.
My Lord, we will not.
Nay, but ſwear't.
Infaith my Lord, not I.
Nor I my Lord: in faith.
Vpon my ſword.
We haue ſworne my Lord already.
Indeed, vpon my ſword, Indeed.
Sweare.
Ah ha boy, ſayeſt thou ſo. Art thou there true-penny? Come one you here this fellow in the ſelleredge Conſent to ſweare.
Propoſe the Oath my Lord.
Sweare.
Sweare.
Oh day and night: but this is wondrous ſtrange.
Sweare.
Giue him his money, and theſe notes Reynoldo.
I will my Lord.
My Lord, I did intend it.
I, very well my Lord.
As gaming my Lord.
My Lord that would diſhonour him.
But my good Lord.
Wherefore ſhould you doe this?
I my Lord, I would know that.
Very good my Lord.
My Lord I haue.
God buy you; fare you well.
Good my Lord.
Obſerue his inclination in your ſelfe.
I ſhall my Lord.
And let him plye his Muſicke.
Well, my Lord.
Alas my Lord, I haue beene ſo affrighted.
With what, in the name of Heauen?
Mad for thy Loue?
My Lord, I doe not know: but truly I do feare it.
What ſaid he?
Thankes Roſincrance, and gentle Guildenſterne.
Amen.
Thou ſtill haſt bin the Father of good Newes.
Oh ſpeake of that, that I do long to heare.
More matter, with leſſe Art.
Came this from Hamlet to her.
Good Madam ſtay awhile, I will be faithfull.
Doubt thou, the Starres are fire,
Doubt, that the Sunne doth moue:
Doubt Truth to be a Lier,
But neuer Doubt, I loue.
O deere Ophelia, I am ill at theſe Numbers: I haue not Art to reckon my grones; but that I loue thee beſt, oh moſt Beſt beleeue it. Adieu.
But how hath ſhe receiu'd his Loue?
What do you thinke of me?
As of a man, faithfull and Honourable.
Do you thinke 'tis this?
It may be very likely.
Not that I know.
How may we try it further?
So he ha's indeed.
We will try it.
But looke where ſadly the poore wretch Comes reading.
Well, God-a-mercy.
Do you know me, my Lord?
Excellent, excellent well: y' are a Fiſhmonger.
Not I my Lord.
Then I would you were ſo honeſt a man.
Honeſt, my Lord?
I ſir, to be honeſt as this world goes, is to bee one man pick'd out of two thouſand.
That's very true, my Lord.
I haue my Lord.
Let her not walke i' th' Sunne: Conception is a bleſsing, but not as your daughter may conceiue. Friend looke too't.
How ſay you by that? Still harping on my daugh
Words, words, words.
What is the matter, my Lord?
Betweene who?
I meane the matter you meane, my Lord.
Slanders Sir: for the Satyricall ſlaue ſaies here, that old men haue gray Beards; that their faces are wrin
Into my Graue?
You cannot Sir take from me any thing, that I will more willingly part withall, except my life, my life.
Fare you well my Lord.
Theſe tedious old fooles.
You goe to ſeeke my Lord Hamlet; there hee is.
God ſaue you Sir.
Mine honour'd Lord?
My moſt deare Lord?
My excellent good friends? How do'ſt thou Guildenſterne? Oh, Roſincrane ▪
good Lads: How doe ye both?
As the indifferent Children of the earth.
Happy, in that we are not ouer-happy: on For
Nor the Soales of her Shoo?
Neither my Lord.
Then you liue about her waſte, or in the mid
Faith, her priuates, we.
In the ſecret parts of Fortune? Oh, moſt true
None my Lord; but that the World's growne honeſt.
Then is Doomeſday neere: But your newes is not true. Let me queſtion more in particular: what haue you my good friends, deſerued at the hands of Fortune, that ſhe ſends you to Priſon hither?
Priſon, my Lord?
Denmark's a Priſon.
Then is the World one.
A goodly one, in which there are many ConDenmarke being one o' th' worſt.
We thinke not ſo my Lord.
Why then 'tis none to you; for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it ſo: to me it is a priſon.
Why then your Ambition makes it one: 'tis too narrow for your minde.
O God, I could be bounded in a nutſhell, and count my ſelfe a King of infinite ſpace; were it not that I haue bad dreames.
Which dreames indeed are Ambition: for the very ſubſtance of the Ambitious, is meerely the ſhadow of a Dreame.
A dreame it ſelfe is but a ſhadow.
Truely, and I hold Ambition of ſo ayry and light a quality, that it is but a ſhadowes ſhadow.
Then are our Beggers bodies; and our Mo
Wee'l wait vpon you.
No ſuch matter. I will not ſort you with the reſt of my ſeruants: for to ſpeake to you like an honeſt man: I am moſt dreadfully attended; but in the beaten way of friendſhip. What make you at Elſonower?
To viſit you my Lord, no other occaſion.
Begger that I am, I am euen poore in thankes; but I thanke you: and ſure deare friends my thanks are too deare a halfepeny; were you not ſent for? Is it your owne inclining? Is it a free viſitation? Come, deale iuſtly with me: come, come; nay ſpeake.
What ſhould we ſay my Lord?
Why any thing. But to the purpoſe; you were ſent for; and there is a kinde confeſſion in your lookes; which your modeſties haue not craft enough to co
To what end my Lord?
That you muſt teach me: but let mee coniure you by the rights of our fellowſhip, by the conſonancy of our youth, by the Obligation of our euer-preſerued loue, and by what more deare, a better propoſer could charge you withall; be euen and direct with me, whether you were ſent for or no.
What ſay you?
Nay then I haue an eye of you: if you loue me hold not off.
My Lord, we were ſent for.
I will tell you why; ſo ſhall my anticipation preuent your diſcouery of your ſecricie to the King and Queene: moult no feather, I haue of late, but wherefore I know not, loſt all my mirth, forgone all cuſtome of ex
My Lord, there was no ſuch ſtuffe in my thoughts.
Why did you laugh, when I ſaid, Man delights not me?
To thinke, my Lord, if you delight not in Man, what Lenton entertainment the Players ſhall receiue from you: wee coated them on the way, and hither are they comming to offer you Seruice.
He that playes the King ſhall be welcome; his Maieſty ſhall haue Tribute of mee: the aduenturous Knight ſhal vſe his Foyle and Target: the Louer ſhall not ſigh gratis, the humorous man ſhall end his part in peace: the Clowne ſhall make thoſe laugh whoſe lungs are tickled a' th' ſere: and the Lady ſhall ſay her minde freely; or the blanke Verſe ſhall halt for't: what Players are they?
Euen thoſe you were wont to take delight in the Tragedians of the City.
How chances it they trauaile? their reſi
I thinke their Inhibition comes by the meanes of the late Innouation?
Doe they hold the ſame eſtimation they did when I was in the City? Are they ſo follow'd?
No indeed, they are not.
How comes it? doe they grow ruſty?
Nay, their indeauour keepes in the wonted pace; But there is Sir an ayrie of Children, little Yaſes, that crye out on the top of queſtion; and are moſt tyrannically clap't for't: theſe are now the
What are they Children? Who maintains 'em? How are they eſcoted? Will they purſue the Quality no longer then they can ſing? Will they not ſay afterwards if they ſhould grow themſelues to common Players (as it is like moſt if their meanes are not better) their Wri
Faith there ha's bene much to do on both ſides: and the Nation holds it no ſinne, to tarre them to Con
Is't poſſible?
Oh there ha's beene much throwing about of Braines.
Do the Boyes carry it away?
I that they do my Lord. Hercules & his load too.
It is not ſtrange: for mine Vnckle is King of Denmarke, and thoſe that would make mowes at him while my Father liued; giue twenty, forty, an hundred Ducates a peece, for his picture in Little. There is ſome
There are the Players.
Gentlemen, you are welcom to Elſonower: your hands, come: The appurtenance of Welcome, is Faſhion and Ceremony. Let me comply with you in the Garbe, left my extent to the Players (which I tell you muſt ſhew fairely outward) ſhould more appeare like entertainment then yours. You are welcome: but my Vnckle Father, and Aun
Well be with you Gentlemen.
Hearke you Guildenſterne, and you too: at each care a hearer: that great Baby you ſee there, is not yet out of his ſwathing clouts.
Happily he's the ſecond time come to them: for they ſay, an old man is twice a childe.
I will Propheſie. Hee comes to tell me of the Players. Mark it, you ſay right Sir: for a Monday mor
My Lord, I haue Newes to tell you.
The Actors are come hither my Lord.
Buzze, buzze.
Vpon mine Honor.
Then can each Actor on his Aſſe —
The beſt Actors in the world, either for TrageSeneca cannot be too heauy, nor Plautus too light, for the law of Writ, and the Liberty. Theſe are the onely men.
O Iephta Iudge of Iſrael, what a Treaſure had'ſt thou?
What a Treaſure had he, my Lord?
Still on my Daughter.
Am I not i' th' right old Iephta?
If you call me Iephta my Lord, I haue a daugh
Nay that followes not.
What followes then, my Lord?
Why, As by lot, God wot: and then you know, It came to paſſe, as moſt like it was: The firſt rowe of the Pons Chanſ
will ſhew you more. For looke where my Abridgements come.
Y' are welcome Maſters, welcome all. I am glad to ſee thee well: Welcome good Friends. O my olde Friend? Thy face is valiant ſince I ſaw thee laſt: Com'ſt thou to beard me in Denmarke? What, my yong Lady and Mi
What ſpeech, my Lord?
I heard thee ſpeak me a ſpeech once, but it was neuer Acted: or if it was, not aboue once, for the Play I remember pleas'd not the Million, 'twas Cauiarie to the Generall: but it was (as I receiu'd it, and others, whoſe iudgement in ſuch matters, cried in the top of mine) an excellent Play: well digeſted in the Scoenes, ſet downe with as much modeſtie, as cunning. I remember one ſaid, there was no Sallets in the lines, to make the matter ſaAeneas Tale to Dido, and thereabout of it eſpecially, where he ſpeaks of Priams ſlaughter. If it liue in your memory, begin at this Line, let me ſee, let me ſee: The rugged Pyrrhus like th' Hyrcanian Beaſt. It is not ſo: it begins with Pyrrhus
Fore God, my Lord, well ſpoken, with good ac
This is too long.
It ſhall to 'th Barbars, with your beard. PryHecuba.
But who, O who, had ſeen the inobled Queen.
The inobled Queene?
That's good: Inobled Queene is good.
Looke where he ha's not turn'd his colour, and ha's teares in's eyes. Pray you no more.
'I is well, Ile haue thee ſpeake out the reſt, ſoone. Good my Lord, will you ſee the Players wel be
My Lord, I will vſe them according to their de
Gods bodykins man, better. Vſe euerie man after his deſart, and who ſhould ſcape whipping: vſe them after your own Honor and Dignity. The leſſe they deſerue, the more merit is in your bountie. Take them in.
Come ſirs.
Follow him Friends: wee'l heare a play to morGonzago?
I my Lord.
Wee'l ha't to morrow night. You could for a need ſtudy a ſpeech of ſome doſen or ſixteene lines, which I would ſet downe, and inſert in't? Could ye not?
I my Lord.
Very well. Follow that Lord, and looke you mock him not. My good Friends, Ile leaue you til night you are welcome to Elſonower?
Good my Lord.
Did he receiue you well?
Moſt like a Gentleman.
But with much forcing of his diſpoſition.
Did you aſſay him to any paſtime?
We ſhall my Lord.
Madam, I wiſh it may.
I heare him comming, let's withdraw my Lord.
I humbly thanke you: well, well, well.
No, no, I neuer gaue you ought.
Ha, ha: Are you honeſt?
My Lord.
Are you faire?
What meanes your Lordſhip?
That if you be honeſt and faire, your Honeſty ſhould admit no diſcourſe to your Beautie.
Could Beautie my Lord, haue better Comerce then your Honeſtie?
I trulie: for the power of Beautie, will ſooner transforme Honeſtie from what it is, to a Bawd, then the force of Honeſtie can tranſlate Beautie into his likeneſſe. This was ſometime a Paradox, but now the time giues it proofe. I did loue you once.
Indeed my Lord, you made me beleeue ſo.
You ſhould not haue beleeued me. For vertue cannot ſo innocculate our old ſtocke, but we ſhall-relliſh of it. I loued you not.
I was the more deceiued.
Get thee to a Nunnerie. Why would'ſt thou be a breeder of Sinners? I am my ſelfe indifferent honeſt, but yet I could accuſe me of ſuch things, that it were bet
At home, my Lord.
Let the doores be ſhut vpon him, that he may play the Foole no way, but in's owne houſe. Farewell.
O helpe him, you ſweet Heauens.
If thou doeſt Marry, Ile giue thee this Plague for thy Dowrie. Be thou as chaſt as Ice, as pure as Snow, thou ſhalt not eſcape Calumny. Get thee to a Nunnery. Go, Farewell. Or if thou wilt needs Marry, marry a fool: for Wiſe men know well enough, what monſters you make of them. To a Nunnery go, and quickly too. Far
O heauenly Powers, reſtore him.
I haue heard of your pratlings too wel enough. God has giuen you one pace, and you make your ſelfe an
Speake the Speech I pray you, as I pronounc'd it to you trippingly on the Tongue: But if you mouth it, as many of your Players do, I had as liue the Town-Cryer had ſpoke my Lines: Nor do not ſaw the Ayre too much your hand thus, but vſe all gently; for in the verie TorHerod's Herod. Pray you auoid it.
I warrant your Honor.
Be not too tame neyther: but let your owne Diſcretion be your Tutor. Sute the Action to the Word, the Word to the Action, with this ſpeciall obſeruance: That you ore-ſtop not the modeſtie of Nature; for any thing ſo ouer-done, is fro
I hope we haue reform'd that indifferently with vs, Sir.
O reforme it altogether. And let thoſe that play your Clownes, ſpeake no more then is ſet downe for them. For there be of them, that will themſelues laugh, to ſet on ſome quantitie of barren Spectators to laugh too, though in the meane time, ſome neceſſary Queſtion of the Play be then to be conſidered: that's Villanous, & ſhewes a moſt pittifull Ambition in the Foole that vſes it. Go make you readie.
And the Queene too, and that preſently.
We will my Lord.
What hoa, Horatio?
Heere ſweet Lord, at your Seruice.
O my deere Lord.
How fares our Coſin Hamlet?
Excellent Ifaith, of the Camelions diſh: I eate the Ayre promiſe-cramm'd, you cannot feed Capons ſo.
I haue nothing with this anſwer Hamlet, theſe words are not mine.
No, nor mine. Now my Lord, you plaid once i' th' Vniuerſity, you ſay?
That I did my Lord, and was accounted a good Actor.
And what did you enact?
It was a bruite part of him, to kill ſo Capitall a Calfe there. Be the Players ready?
I my Lord, they ſtay vpon your patience.
Come hither my good Hamlet, ſit by me.
No good Mother, here's Mettle more attractiue.
Oh ho, do you marke that?
Ladie, ſhall I lye in your Lap?
No my Lord.
I meane, My Head vpon your Lap?
I my Lord.
Do you thinke I meant Country matters?
I thinke nothing, my Lord.
That's a faire thought to ly between Maids legs
What is my Lord?
Nothing.
You are merrie, my Lord?
Who I?
I my Lord.
Oh God, your onely Iigge-maker: what ſhould a man do, but be merrie. For looke you now cheereful
Nay, 'tis twice two moneths, my Lord.
So long? Nay then let the Diuel weare blacke, for Ile haue a ſuite of Sables. Oh Heauens! dye two mo
What meanes this, my Lord?
Marry this is Miching Malicho, that meanes Miſcheefe.
Belike this ſhew imports the Argument of the Play?
We ſhall know by theſe Fellowes: the Players cannot keepe counſell, they'l tell all.
Will they tell vs what this ſhew meant?
I, or any ſhew that you'l ſhew him. Bee not you aſham'd to ſhew, hee'l not ſhame to tell you what it meanes.
You are naught, you are naught, Ile marke the Play.
Is this a Prologue, or the Poeſie of a Ring?
Wormwood, Wormwood.
If ſhe ſhould breake it now.
Madam, how like you this Play?
The Lady proteſts to much me thinkes.
Oh but ſhee'l keepe her word.
Haue you heard the Argument, is there no Of
No, no, they do but ieſt, poyſon in ieſt, no Of
What do you call the Play?
The Mouſe-trap: Marry how? Tropically: This Play is the Image of a murder done in Vienna: Gonzago is the Dukes name, his wife
This is one Lucianus nephew to the King.
You are a good Chorus, my Lord.
I could interpret betweene you and your loue: if I could ſee the Puppets dallying.
You are keene my Lord, you are keene.
It would coſt you a groaning, to take off my edge.
Still better and worſe.
He poyſons him i' th Garden for's eſtate: His name's Gonzago: the Story is extant and writ in choyce Italian. You ſhall ſee anon how the Murtherer gets the loue of Gonzago's wife.
The King riſes.
What, frighted with falſe fire.
How fares my Lord?
Giue o're the Play.
Giue me ſome Light. Away.
Lights, Lights, Lights.
Would not this Sir, and a Forreſt of Feathers, if the reſt of my Fortunes turne Turke with me; with two Prouinciall Roſes on my rac'd Shooes, get me a Fellowſhip in a crie of Players ſir.
Halfe a ſhare.
You might haue Rim'd.
Oh good Horatio, Ile take the Ghoſts word for a thouſand pound. Did'ſt perceiue?
Verie well my Lord.
Vpon the talke of the poyſoning?
I did verie well note him.
Good my Lord, vouchſafe me a word with you.
Sir, a whole Hiſtory.
The King, ſir.
I ſir, what of him?
Is in his retyrement, maruellous diſtemper'd.
With drinke Sir?
No my Lord, rather with choller.
Your wiſedome ſhould ſhew it ſelfe more ri
Good my Lord put your diſcourſe into ſome frame, and ſtart not ſo wildely from my affayre.
I am tame Sir, pronounce.
The Queene your Mother, in moſt great affli
You are welcome.
Nay, good my Lord, this courteſie is not of the right breed. If it ſhall pleaſe you to make me a whol
Sir, I cannot.
What, my Lord?
Make you a wholſome anſwere: my wits diſ
Then thus ſhe ſayes: your behauior hath ſtroke her into amazement, and admiration.
Oh wonderfull Sonne, that can ſo aſtoniſh a Mother. But is there no ſequell at the heeles of this Mo
She deſires to ſpeake with you in her Cloſſet, ere you go to bed.
My Lord, you once did loue me.
So I do ſtill, by theſe pickers and ſtealers.
Good my Lord, what is your cauſe of diſtem
Sir I lacke Aduancement.
How can that be, when you haue the voyce of the King himſelfe, for your Succeſſion in Denmarke?
I, but while the graſſe growes, the Prouerbe is ſomething muſty.
O the Recorder. Let me ſee, to withdraw with you, why do you go about to recouer the winde of mee, as if you would driue me into a toyle?
O my Lord, if my Dutie be too bold, my loue is too vnmannerly.
I do not well vnderſtand that. Will you play vpon this Pipe?
My Lord, I cannot.
I pray you.
Beleeue me, I cannot.
I do beſeech you.
I know no touch of it, my Lord.
'Tis as eaſie as lying: gouerne theſe Ventiges with your finger and thumbe, giue it breath with your mouth, and it will diſcourſe moſt excellent Muſicke. Looke you, theſe are the ſtoppes.
But theſe cannot I command to any vtterance of hermony, I haue not the skill.
Why looke you now, how vnworthy a thing you make of me: you would play vpon mee; you would ſeeme to know my ſtops: you would pluck out the heart of my Myſterie; you would ſound mee from my loweſt Note, to the top of my Compaſſe: and there is much Mu
My Lord; the Queene would ſpeak with you, and preſently.
Do you ſee that Clowd? that's almoſt in ſhape like a Camell.
By' th' Miſſe, and it's like a Camell indeed.
Me thinkes it is like a Weazell.
It is back'd like a Weazell.
Or like a Whale?
Verie like a Whale.
I will ſay ſo.
We will haſte vs.
Mother, mother, mother.
Now Mother, what's the matter?
Hamlet, thou haſt thy Father much offended.
Mother, you haue my Father much offended.
Come, come, you anſwer with an idle tongue.
Go, go, you queſtion with an idle tongue.
Why how now Hamlet?
Whats the matter now?
Haue you forgot me?
Nay, then Ile ſet thoſe to you that can ſpeake.
What hoa, helpe, helpe, helpe.
How now, a Rat? dead for a Ducate, dead.
Oh I am ſlaine.
Oh me, what haſt thou done?
Nay I know not, is it the King?
Oh what a raſh, and bloody deed is this?
As kill a King?
Aye me; what act, that roares ſo lowd, & thun
No more.
Alas he's mad.
How is it with you Lady?
To who do you ſpeake this?
Do you ſee nothing there?
Nothing at all, yet all that is I ſee.
Nor did you nothing heare?
No, nothing but our ſelues.
What ſhall I do?
I muſt to England, you know that?
Alacke I had forgot: 'Tis ſo concluded on.
Ah my good Lord, what haue I ſeene to night?
What Gertrude? How do's Hamlet?
Safely ſtowed.
Hamlet, Lord Hamlet.
What haue you done my Lord with the dead body?
Compounded it with duſt, whereto 'tis Kinne.
Do not beleeue it.
Beleeue what?
That I can keepe your counſell, and not mine owne. Beſides, to be demanded of a Spundge, what re
Take you me for a Spundge, my Lord?
I ſir, that ſokes vp the Kings Countenance, his Rewards, his Authorities (but ſuch Officers do the King beſt ſeruice in the end. He keepes them like an Ape in the corner of his iaw, firſt mouth'd to be laſt ſwallowed, when he needes what you haue glean'd, it is but ſquee
I vnderſtand you not my Lord.
I am glad of it: a knauiſh ſpeech ſleepes in a fooliſh eare.
My Lord, you muſt tell vs where the body is, and go with vs to the King.
The body is with the King, but the King is not with the body. The King, is a thing —
A thing my Lord?
Of nothing: bring me to him, hide Fox, and all after.
But where is he?
Without my Lord, guarded to know your pleaſure.
Bring him before vs.
Hoa, Guildenſterne? Bring in my Lord.
Now Hamlet, where's Polonius?
At Supper.
At Supper? Where?
Not where he eats, but where he is eaten, a cer
What doſt thou meane by this?
Nothing but to ſhew you how a King may go a Progreſſe through the guts of a Begger.
Where is Polonius.
In heauen, ſend thither to ſee. If your Meſſen
Go ſeeke him there.
He will ſtay till ye come.
For England?
I Hamlet.
Good.
So is it, if thou knew'ſt our purpoſes.
I ſee a Cherube that ſee's him: but come, for England. Farewell deere Mother.
Thy louing Father Hamlet.
My Mother: Father and Mother is man and wife: man & wife is one fleſh, and ſo my mother. Come, for England.
I will doo't, my Lord.
Go ſafely on.
I will not ſpeake with her.
She is importunate, indeed diſtract, her moode will needs be pittied.
What would ſhe haue?
Where is the beauteous Maieſty of Denmark.
How now Ophelia?
Alas ſweet Lady: what imports this Song?
Nay but Ophelia.
Alas, looke heere my Lord.
How do ye, pretty Lady?
Well, God dil'd you. They ſay the Owle was a Bakers daughter. Lord, wee know what we are, but know not what we may be. God be at your Table.
Conceit vpon her Father.
Pray you let's haue no words of this: but when they aske you what it meanes, ſay you this:
Tomorrow is S. Valentines day, all in the morning betime,And I a Maid at your Window to be your Valentine.Then vp he roſe, & don'd his clothes, & dupt the chamber dore,Let in the Maid, that out a Maid, neuer departed more.
Pretty Ophelia.
Indeed la? without an oath Ile make an end out.
By gis, and by S. Charity, Alacke, and ſie for ſhame: Yong men wil doo't, if they come too't, By Cocke they are too blame. Quoth ſhe before you tumbled me, You promis'd me to Wed: So would I ha done by yonder Sunne, And thou hadſt not come to my bed.
How long hath ſhe bin this?
I hope all will be well. We muſt bee patient, but I cannot chooſe but weepe, to thinke they ſhould lay him i' th' cold ground: My brother ſhall knowe of it, and ſo I thanke you for your good counſell. Come, my Coach: Goodnight Ladies: Goodnight ſweet Ladies: Goodnight, goodnight.
Alacke, what noyſe is this?
The doores are broke.
Where is the King, ſirs? Stand you all without.
No, let's come in.
I pray you giue me leaue.
We will, we will.
Calmely good Laertes.
Where's my Father?
Dead.
But not by him.
Let him demand his fill.
Who ſhall ſtay you?
None but his Enemies.
Will you know them then.
Had'ſt thou thy wits, and did'ſt perſwade Re
You muſt ſing downe a-downe, and you call him a-downe-a. Oh, how the wheele becomes it? It is the falſe Steward that ſtole his maſters daughter.
This nothings more then matter.
A document in madneſſe, thoughts & remem
There's Fennell for you, and Columbines: ther's Rew for you, and heere's ſome for me. Wee may call it Herbe-Grace a Sundaies: Oh you muſt weare your Rew with a difference. There's a Dayſie, I would giue you ſome Violets, but they wither'd all when my Father dy
Do you ſee this, you Gods?
What are they that would ſpeake with me?
Saylors ſir, they ſay they haue Letters for you.
God bleſſe you Sir.
Let him bleſſe thee too.
Hee ſhall Sir, and't pleaſe him. There's a Letter for you Sir: It comes from th' Ambaſſadours that was bound for England, if your name be Horatio, as I am let to know it is.
When thou ſhalt haue ouerlook'd this, giue theſe Fellowes ſome meanes to the King: They haue Letters for him. Ere we were two dayes old at Sea, a Pyrate of very Warlicke appointment gaue vs Chace. Finding our ſelues too ſlow of Saile, we put on a compelled Valour. In the Grapple, I boorded them: On the inſtant they got cleare of our Shippe, ſo I alone became their Priſoner. They haue dealt with mee, like Theeues of Mercy, but they knew what they did. I am to doe a good turne for them. Let the King haue the Letters I haue ſent, and repaire thou to me with as much haſt as thou wouldeſt flye death. I haue words to ſpeake in your eare, will make thee-dumbe, yet are they much too light for the bore of the Matter. Theſe good Fellowes will bring thee where I am. Roſincrance and Guildenſterne, hold their courſe for England. Of them I haue much to tell thee, Farewell.
Letters my Lord from Hamlet. This to your Maieſty: this to the Queene.
From Hamlet? Who brought them?
High and Mighty, you ſhall know I am ſet naked on your Kingdome. To morrow ſhall I begge leaue to ſee your Kingly Eyes. When I ſhall (first asking your Pardon thereunto) recount th' Occaſions of my ſodaine, and more ſtrange returne.
Know you the hand?
'Tis Hamlets Character, naked and in a Poſt
If ſo you'l not o're rule me to a peace.
A Norman was't?
A Norman.
Vpon my life Lamound.
The very ſame.
Why out of this, my Lord?
Why aske you this?
To cut his throat i' th' Church.
Drown'd! O where?
Alas then, is ſhe drown'd?
Drown'd, drown'd.
Is ſhe to bee buried in Chriſtian buriall, that wilfully ſeekes her owne ſaluation?
I tell thee ſhe is, and therefore make her Graue ſtraight, the Crowner hath ſate on her, and finds it Chri
How can that be, vnleſſe ſhe drowned her ſelfe in her owne defence?
Why 'tis found ſo.
It muſt be Se offendendo, it cannot bee elſe: for heere lies the point; If I drowne my ſelfe wittingly, it ar
Nay but heare you Goodman Deluer.
Giue me leaue; heere lies the water; good: heere ſtands the man; good: If the man goe to this wa
But is this law?
I marry is't, Crowners Queſt Law.
Will you ha the truth on't: if this had not beene a Gentlewoman, ſhee ſhould haue beene buried out of Chriſtian Buriall.
Why there thou ſay'ſt. And the more pitty that great folke ſhould haue countenance in this world to drowne or hang themſelues, more then their euen ChriſtiAdams Profeſſion.
Was he a Gentleman?
He was the firſt that euer bore Armes.
Why he had none.
What, ar't a Heathen? how doſt thou vnderAdam dig'd; could hee digge without Armes? Ile put another que
Go too.
What is he that builds ſtronger then either the Maſon, the Shipwright, or the Carpenter?
The Gallowes maker; for that Frame outliues a thouſand Tenants.
I like thy wit well in good faith, the Gallowes does well; but how does it well? it does well to thoſe that doe ill: now, thou doſt ill to ſay the Gallowes is built ſtronger then the Church: Argall, the Gallowes may doe well to thee. Too't againe, Come.
Who builds ſtronger then a Maſon, a Ship
I, tell me that, and vnyoake.
Marry, now I can tell.
Too't.
Maſſe, I cannot tell.
Cudgell thy braines no more about it; for your dull Aſſe will not mend his pace with beating; and when you are ask't this queſtion next, ſay a Graue-maker: the Houſes that he makes, laſts till Doomeſday: go, get thee to Yaughan, fetch me a ſtoupe of Liquor.
Ha's this fellow no feeling of his buſineſſe, that he ſings at Graue-making?
Cuſtome hath made it in him a property of ea
'Tis ee'n ſo; the hand of little Imployment hath the daintier ſenſe.
That Scull had a tongue in it, and could ſing once: how the knaue iowles it to th' grownd as if it were Caines Iaw-bone, that did the firſt murther: It might be the Pate of a Polititian which this Aſſe o're Of
It might, my Lord.
Or of a Courtier, which could ſay, Good Mor
I, my Lord.
Why ee'n ſo: and now my Lady Wormes, Chapleſſe, and knockt about the Mazard with a Sextons Spade; heere's fine Reuolution, if wee had the tricke to ſee't. Did theſe bones coſt no more the breeding
There's another: why might not that bee the Scull of of a Lawyer? where be his Quiddits now? his Quillets? his Caſes? his Tenures, and his Tricks? why doe's he ſuffer this rude knaue now to knocke him about the Sconce with a dirty Shouell, and will not tell him of his Action of Battery? hum. This fellow might be in's time a great buyer of Land, with his Statutes, his Recog
Not a iot more, my Lord.
Is not Parchment made of Sheep-skinnes?
I my Lord, and of Calue-skinnes too.
They are Sheepe and Calues that ſeek out aſſu
I thinke it be thine indeed: for thou lieſt in't.
You lye out on't Sir, and therefore it is not yours: for my part, I doe not lye in't; and yet it is mine.
Thou doſt lye in't, to be in't and ſay 'tis thine: 'tis for the dead, not for the quicke, therefore thou lyeſt.
'Tis a quicke lye Sir, 'twill a way againe from me to you.
What man doſt thou digge it for?
For no man Sir.
What woman then?
For none neither.
Who is to be buried in't?
One that was a woman Sir; but reſt her Soule, ſhee's dead.
How abſolute the knaue is? wee muſt ſpeake by the Carde, or equiuocation will vndoe vs: by the Lord Horatio, theſe three yeares I haue taken note of it, the Age is growne ſo picked, that the toe of the Peſant comes ſo neere the heeles of our Courtier, hee galls his Kibe. How long haſt thou been a Graue-maker?
Of all the dayes i' th' yeare, I came too't that day that our laſt King Hamlet o're came Fortinbras.
How long is that ſince?
Cannot you tell that? euery foole can tell that: It was the very day, that young Hamlet was borne, hee that was mad, and ſent into England.
I marry, why was he ſent into England?
Why, becauſe he was mad; hee ſhall recouer his wits there; or if he do not, it's no great matter there.
Why?
'Twill not be ſeene in him, there the men are as mad as he.
How came he mad?
Very ſtrangely they ſay.
How ſtrangely?
Faith e'ene with looſing his wits.
Vpon what ground?
Why heere in Denmarke: I haue bin ſixeteene heere, man and Boy thirty yeares.
How long will a man lie 'i th' earth ere he rot?
I faith, if he be not rotten before he die (as we haue many pocky Coarſes now adaies, that will ſcarce hold the laying in) he will laſt you ſome eight yeare, or nine yeare. A Tanner will laſt you nine yeare.
Why he, more then another?
Why ſir, his hide is ſo tan'd with his Trade, that he will keepe out water a great while. And your water, is a ſore Decayer of your horſon dead body. Heres a Scull now: this Scul, has laine in the earth three & twenty years.
Whoſe was it?
Nay, I know not.
A peſtlence on him for a mad Rogue, a pou'rd a Flaggon of Reniſh on my head once. This ſame Scull Sir, this ſame Scull ſir, was Yoricks Scull, the Kings Ieſter.
This?
E'ene that.
Let me ſee. Alas poore Yorick, I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite Ieſt; of moſt excellent fancy, he hath borne me on his backe a thouſand times: And how abhorred my Imagination is, my gorge riſes at it. Heere hung thoſe lipps, that I haue kiſt I know not how oft. VVhere be your libes now? Your Gambals? Your Songs? Your flaſhes of Merriment that were wont to ſet the Table on a Rore? No one now to mock your own Ieering? Quite chopfalne? Now get you to my Ladies Chamber, and tell her, let her paint an inch thicke, to this fauour ſhe muſt come. Make her laugh at that: pry
What's that my Lord?
Doſt thou thinke Alexander lookt o' this fa
E'ene ſo.
And ſmelt ſo? Puh.
E'ene ſo, my Lord.
To what baſe vſes we may returne Horatio. Why may not Imagination trace the Noble duſt of Alexander, till he find it ſtopping a bunghole.
'Twere to conſider: to curiouſly to conſider ſo.
No faith, not a iot. But to follow him thether with modeſtie enough, & likeliehood to lead it; as thus. Alexander died: Alexander was buried: Alexander re
What Cerimony elſe?
That is Laertes, a very Noble youth: Marke.
What Cerimony elſe?
Muſt there no more be done?
What, the faire Ophelia?
The deuill take thy ſoule.
Pluck them aſunder.
Hamlet, Hamlet.
Good my Lord be quiet.
Oh my Sonne, what Theame?
Oh he is mad Laertes,
For loue of God forbeare him.
Remember it my Lord?
That is moſt certaine.
Iſt poſſible?
I beſeech you.
I, good my Lord.
How was this ſeal'd?
So Guildenſterne and Roſincrance, go too't.
Why, what a King is this?
Peace, who comes heere?
Your Lordſhip is right welcome back to Den
I humbly thank you Sir, doſt know this waterflie?
No my good Lord.
Thy ſtate is the more gracious; for 'tis a vice to know him: he hath much Land, and fertile; let a Beaſt be Lord of Beaſts, and his Crib ſhall ſtand at the Kings Meſſe; 'tis a Chowgh; but as I ſaw ſpacious in the poſ
I will receiue it with all diligence of ſpirit; put your Bonet to his right vſe, 'tis for the head.
I thanke your Lordſhip, 'tis very hot.
No, beleeue mee 'tis very cold, the winde is Northerly.
It is indifferent cold my Lord indeed.
Mee thinkes it is very ſoultry, and hot for my Complexion.
Exceedingly, my Lord, it is very ſoultry, as 'twere I cannot tell how: but my Lord, his Maieſty bad me ſig
I beſeech you remember.
Nay, in good faith, for mine eaſe in good faith: Sir, you are not ignorant of what excellence Laertes is at his weapon.
What's his weapon?
Rapier and dagger.
That's two of his weapons; but well.
The ſir King ha's wag'd with him ſix Barbary Hor
What call you the Carriages?
The Carriages Sir, are the hangers.
The phraſe would bee more Germaine to the matter: If we could carry Cannon by our ſides; I would it might be Hangers till then; but on ſixe Barbary Hor
The King Sir, hath laid that in a dozen paſſes be
How if I anſwere no?
I meane my Lord, the oppoſition of your perſon in tryall.
Sir, I will walke heere in the Hall; if it pleaſe his Maieſtie, 'tis the breathing time of day with me; let the Foyles bee brought, the Gentleman willing, and the King hold his purpoſe; I will win for him if I can: if not, Ile gaine nothing but my ſhame, and the odde hits.
Shall I redeliuer you ee'n ſo?
To this effect Sir, after what flouriſh your na
I commend my duty to your Lordſhip.
Yours, yours; hee does well to commend it himſelfe, there are no tongues elſe for's tongue.
This Lapwing runs away with the ſhell on his head.
He did Complie with his Dugge before hee ſuck't it: thus had he and mine more of the ſame Beauy that I know the droſſie age dotes on; only got the tune of the time, and outward habite of encounter, a kinde of yeſty collection, which carries them through & through the moſt fond and winnowed opinions; and doe but blow them to their tryalls: the Bubbles are out.
You will loſe this wager, my Lord.
I doe not thinke ſo, ſince he went into France, I haue beene in continuall practice; I ſhall winne at the oddes: but thou wouldeſt not thinke how all heere a
Nay, good my Lord.
It is but foolery; but it is ſuch a kinde of gain-giuing as would perhaps trouble a woman.
If your minde diſlike any thing, obey. I will fore
Not a whit, we defie Augury; there's a ſpeciall Prouidence in the fall of a ſparrow. If it be now, 'tis not to come: if it bee not to come, it will bee now: if it be not now; yet it will come; the readineſſe is all, ſince no man ha's ought of what he leaues. What is't to leaue be
Come Hamlet, come, and take this hand from me.
Come one for me.
You mocke me Sir.
No by this hand.
I my good Lord.
Come on ſir.
Come on ſir.
One.
No.
Iudgement.
A hit, a very palpable hit.
Well: againe.
A touch, a touch, I do confeſſe.
Our Sonne ſhall win.
Good Madam.
Gertrude, do not drinke.
It is the poyſon'd Cup, it is too late.
Come, let me wipe thy face.
My Lord, Ile hit him now.
I do not thinke't.
And yet 'tis almoſt 'gainſt my conſcience.
Say you ſo? Come on.
Nothing neither way.
Haue at you now.
Part them, they are incens'd.
Nay come, againe.
Looke to the Queene there hoa.
How is't Laertes?
How does the Queene?
She ſounds to ſee them bleede.
Treaſon, Treaſon.
O yet defend me Friends, I am but hurt.
Where is this ſight?
Albany, then Cornwall.
It did alwayes ſeeme ſo to vs: But now in the diuiſion of the Kingdome, it ap
Is not this your Son, my Lord?
His breeding Sir, hath bin at my charge. I haue ſo often bluſh'd to acknowledge him, that now I am braz'd too't.
I cannot conceiue you.
Sir, this yong Fellowes mother could; where
I cannot wiſh the fault vndone, the iſſue of it, being ſo proper.
But I haue a Sonne, Sir, by order of Law, ſome yeere elder then this; who, yet is no deerer in my acEdmond?
No, my Lord.
My ſeruices to your Lordſhip.
I muſt loue you, and ſue to know you better.
Sir, I ſhall ſtudy deſeruing.
He hath bin out nine yeares, and away he ſhall againe. The King is comming.
Attend the Lords of France & Burgundy, Gloſter.
I ſhall, my Lord.
What ſhall Cordelia ſpeake? Loue, and be ſilent.
Nothing my Lord.
Nothing?
Nothing.
Nothing will come of nothing, ſpeake againe.
But goes thy heart with this?
I my good Lord.
So young, and ſo vntender?
So young my Lord, and true.
Good my Liege.
The bow is bent & drawne, make from the ſhaft.
Kent, on thy life no more.
Out of my ſight.
Now by Apollo,
O Vaſſall! Miſcreant.
Cor. Deare Sir forbeare.
Heere's France and Burgundy, my Noble Lord.
I know no anſwer.
Nothing, I haue ſworne, I am firme.
Bid farwell to your Siſters.
Preſcribe not vs our dutie.
Come my faire Cordelia.
That's moſt certaine, and with you: next moneth with vs.
You ſee how full of changes his age is, the ob
'Tis the infirmity of his age, yet he hath euer but ſlenderly knowne himſelfe.
The beſt and ſoundeſt of his time hath bin but raſh, then muſt we looke from his age, to receiue not a
Such vnconſtant ſtarts are we like to haue from him, as this of Kents baniſhment.
There is further complement of leaue-taking beFrance and him, pray you let vs ſit together, it our Father carry authority with ſuch diſpoſition as he beares, this laſt ſurrender of his will but offend vs.
We ſhall further thinke of it.
We muſt do ſomething, and i' th' heate.
So pleaſe your Lordſhip, none.
Why ſo earneſtly ſeeke you to put vp yt Letter?
I know no newes, my Lord.
What Paper were you reading?
Nothing my Lord.
No? what needed then that terrible diſpatch of it into your Pocket? The quality of nothing, hath not ſuch neede to hide it ſelfe. Let's ſee: come, if it bee no
I beſeech you Sir, pardon mee; it is a Letter from my Brother, that I haue not all ore-read; and for ſo much as I haue perus'd, I finde it not fit for your ore-loo
Giue me the Letter, Sir.
Let's ſee, let's ſee.
I hope for my Brothers iuſtification, hee wrote this but as an eſſay, or taſte of my Vertue.
This policie, and reuerence of Age, makes the world bitter to the beſt of our times: keepes our Fortunes from vs, till our oldneſſe cannot relliſh them. I begin to finde an idle and fond bondage, in the oppreſſion of aged tyranny, who ſwayes not as it hath power, but as it is ſuffer'd. Come to me, that of this I may ſpeake more. If our Father would ſleepe till I wak'd him, you ſhould enioy halfe his Reuennew for euer, and liue the beloued of your Brother.
Hum? Conſpiracy? Sleepe till I wake him, you ſhould enioy halfe his Reuennew: my Sonne Edgar, had hee a hand to write this? A heart and braine to breede it in? When came you to this? Who brought it?
It was not brought mee, my Lord; there's the cunning of it. I found it throwne in at the Caſement of my Cloſſet.
You know the character to be your Brothers?
If the matter were good my Lord, I durſt ſwear it were his: but in reſpect of that, I would faine thinke it were not.
It is his.
It is his hand, my Lord: but I hope his heart is not in the Contents.
Has he neuer before ſounded you in this buſines?
Neuer my Lord. But I haue heard him oft main
O Villain, villain: his very opinion in the Let
I do not well know my L. If it ſhall pleaſe you to ſuſpend your indignation againſt my Brother, til you can deriue from him better teſtimony of his intent, you ſhold run a certaine courſe: where, if you violently proceed a
Thinke you ſo?
If your Honor iudge it meere, I will place you where you ſhall heare vs conferre of this, and by an Auri
He cannot bee ſuch a Monſter. Edmond ſeeke him out: winde me into him, I pray you: frame the Bu
I will ſeeke him Sir, preſently: conuey the bu
Theſe late Eclipſes in the Sun and Moone porEdmond, it ſhall loſe thee nothing, do it carefully: and the Noble & true-har
This is the excellent foppery of the world, that when we are ſicke in fortune, often the ſurfers of our own behauiour, we make guilty of our diſaſters, the Sun, the Moone, and Starres, as if we were villaines on neceſſitie, Fooles by heauenly compulſion, Knaues, Theeues, and Treachers by Sphericall predominance. Drunkards, LyVrſa Maior, ſo that it followes, I am rough and Leacherous. I ſhould haue bin that I am, had the maidenleſt Starre in the Fir
Pat: he comes like the Cataſtrophe of the old Comedie: my Cue is villanous Melancholly, with a ſighe like Tom o' Bedlam. — O theſe Eclipſes do portend theſe diui
How now Brother Edmond, what ſerious con
I am thinking Brother of a prediction I read this other day, what ſhould follow theſe Eclipſes.
Do you buſie your ſelfe with that?
The night gone by.
Spake you with him?
I, two houres together.
Parted you in good termes? Found you no diſ
None at all,
Bethink your ſelfe wherein you may haue offen
Some Villaine hath done me wrong.
That's my feare, I pray you haue a continent forbearance till the ſpeed of his rage goes ſlower: and as I ſay, retire with me to my lodging, from whence I will fitly bring you to heare my Lord ſpeake: pray ye goe, there's my key: if you do ſtirre abroad, goe arm'd.
Arm'd, Brother?
Brother, I aduiſe you to the beſt, I am no honeſt man, if ther be any good meaning toward you: I haue told you what I haue ſeene, and heard: But faintly, Nothing like the image, and horror of it, pray you away.
Shall I heare from you anon?
Did my Father ſtrike my Gentleman for chi
I Madam.
He's comming Madam, I heare him.
Well Madam.
And let his Knights haue colder lookes among you: what growes of it no matter, aduiſe your fellowes ſo, Ile write ſtraight to my Siſter to hold my courſe; pre
Let me not ſtay a iot for dinner, go get it rea
A man Sir.
What doſt thou profeſſe? What would'ſt thou with vs?
I do profeſſe to be no leſſe then I ſeeme; to ſerue him truely that will put me in truſt, to loue him that is honeſt, to conuerſe with him that is wiſe and ſaies little, to feare iudgement, to fight when I cannot chooſe, and to eate no fiſh.
What art thou?
A very honeſt hearted Fellow, and as poore as the King.
If thou be'ſt as poore for a ſubiect, as hee's for a King, thou art poore enough. What wouldſt thou?
Seruice.
Who wouldſt thou ſerue?
You.
Do'ſt thou know me fellow?
No Sir, but you haue that in your countenance, which I would faine call Maſter.
What's that?
Authority.
What ſeruices canſt thou do?
I can keepe honeſt counſaile, ride, run, marre a curious tale in telling it, and deliuer a plaine meſſage bluntly: that which ordinary men are fit for, I am qual
How old art thou?
Not ſo young Sir to loue a woman for ſinging, nor ſo old to dote on her for any thing. I haue yeares on my backe forty eight.
Follow me, thou ſhalt ſerue me, if I like thee no worſe after dinner, I will not part from thee yet. Dinner ho, dinner, where's my knaue? my Foole? Go you and call my Foole hither. You you Sirrah, where's my Daughter?
So pleaſe you —
What ſaies the Fellow there? Call the Clot-pole backe: wher's my Foole? Ho, I thinke the world's aſleepe, how now? Where's that Mungrell?
He ſaies my Lord, your Daughters is not well.
Why came not the ſlaue backe to me when I call'd him?
Sir, he anſwered me in the roundeſt manner, he would not.
He would not?
My Lord, I know not what the matter is, but to my iudgement your Highneſſe is not entertain'd with that Ceremonious affection as you were wont, theres a great abatement of kindneſſe appeares as well in the generall dependants, as in the Duke himſelfe alſo, and your Daughter.
Ha? Saiſt thou ſo?
I beſeech you pardon me my Lord, if I bee miſtaken, for my duty cannot be ſilent, when I thinke your Highneſſe wrong'd.
Thou but remembreſt me of mine owne Con
No more of that, I haue noted it well, goe you and tell my Daughter, I would ſpeake with her. Goe you call hither my Foole; Oh you Sir, you, come you hither Sir, who am I Sir?
My Ladies Father.
My Ladies Father? my Lords knaue, you whor
Do you bandy lookes with me, you Raſcall?
Ile not be ſtrucken my Lord.
Nor tript neither, you baſe Foot-ball plaier.
Come ſir, ariſe, away, Ile teach you differences: away, away, if you will meaſure your lubbers length a
Now my friendly knaue I thanke thee, there's earneſt of thy ſeruice.
Let me hire him too, here's my Coxcombe.
How now my pretty knaue, how doſt thou?
Sirrah, you were beſt take my Coxcombe.
Why my Boy?
Why? for taking ones part that's out of fauour, nay, & thou canſt not ſmile as the wind ſits, thou'lt catch colde ſhortly, there take my Coxcombes why this fellow ha's baniſh'd two on's Daughters, and did the third a bleſſing againſt his will, if thou follow him, thou muſt needs weare my Coxcombe. How now Nunckle? would I had two Coxcombes and two Daughters.
Why my Boy?
If I gaue them all my liuing, I'ld keepe my Cox
Take heed Sirrah, the whip.
Truth's a dog muſt to kennell, hee muſt bee whipt out, when the Lady Brach may ſtand by' th' fire and ſtinke.
A peſtilent gall to me.
Sirha, Ile teach thee a ſpeech.
Do.
This is nothing Foole.
Then 'tis like the breath of an vnfeed Lawyer, you gaue me nothing for't, can you make no vſe of no
Prythee tell him, ſo much the rent of his land comes to, he will not beleeue a Foole.
A bitter Foole.
Do'ſt thou know the difference my Boy, be
No Lad, teach me.
Nunckle, giue me an egge, and Ile giue thee two Crownes.
What two Crownes ſhall they be?
Why after I haue cut the egge i' th' middle and eate vp the meate, the two Crownes of the egge: when thou cloueſt thy Crownes i' th' middle, and gau'ſt away both parts, thou boar'ſt thine Aſſe on thy backe o're the durt, thou had'ſt little wit in thy bald crowne, when thou gau'ſt thy golden one away; if I ſpeake like my ſelfe in this, let him be whipt that firſt findes it ſo.
When were you wont to be ſo full of Songs ſirrah?
I haue vſed it Nunckle, ere ſince thou mad'ſt thy Daughters thy Mothers, for when thou gau'ſt them the rod, and put'ſt downe thine owne breeches, then they
And you lie ſirrah, wee'l haue you whipt.
I maruell what kin thou and thy daughters are, they'l haue me whipt for ſpeaking true: thou'lt haue me whipt for lying; and ſometimes I am whipt for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind o' thing then a foole, and yet I would not be thee Nunckle, thou haſt pared thy wit o' both ſides, and left nothing i' th' middle; heere comes one o' the parings.
How now Daughter? what makes that Frontlet on? You are too much of late i' th' frowne.
Thou waſt a pretty fellow when thou hadſt no need to care for her frowning, now thou art an O with
For you know Nunckle, the Hedge-Sparrow fed the Cuckoo ſo long, that it's had it head bit off by it young, ſo out went the Candle, and we were left dark
Are you our Daughter?
Lears ſhadow.
Your name, faire Gentlewoman?
You ſtrike my people, and your diſorder'd rable, make Seruants of their Betters.
Pray Sir be patient.
What's the matter, Sir?
Do you marke that?
Well, you may feare too farre.
I Madam.
Nay then —
Well, well, the'uent.
Go you before to Gloſter with theſe Letters; acquaint my Daughter no further with any thing you know, then comes from her demand out of the Letter, if your Dilligence be not ſpeedy, I ſhall be there afore you.
I will not ſleepe my Lord, till I haue deliuered your Letter.
If a mans braines were in's heeles, wert not in danger of kybes?
I Boy.
Then I prythee be merry, thy wit ſhall not go ſlip-ſhod.
Ha, ha, ha.
Shalt ſee thy other Daughter will vſe thee kind
What can'ſt tell Boy?
She will taſte as like this as, a Crabbe do's to a Crab: thou canſt tell why ones noſe ſtands i' th' middle on's face?
No.
Why to keepe ones eyes of either ſide's noſe, that what a man cannot ſmell out, he may ſpy into.
I did her wrong.
Can'ſt tell how an Oyſter makes his ſhell?
No.
Nor I neither; but I can tell why a Snaile ha's a houſe.
Why?
Why to put's head in, not to giue it away to his daughters, and leaue his hornes without a caſe.
I will forget my Nature, ſo kind a Father? Be my Horſſes ready?
Thy Aſſes are gone about 'em; the reaſon why the ſeuen Starres are no mo then ſeuen, is a pretty reaſon.
Becauſe they are not eight.
Yes indeed, thou would'ſt make a good Foole.
To tak't againe perforce; Monſter Ingratitude!
If thou wert my Foole Nunckle, Il'd haue thee beaten for being old before thy time.
How's that?
Thou ſhouldſt not haue bin old, till thou hadſt bin wiſe.
O let me not be mad, not mad ſweet Heauen
Ready my Lord.
Come Boy.
Saue thee Curan.
How comes that?
Nay I know not, you haue heard of the newes a
Not I: pray you what are they?
Not a word.
I am ſure on't, not a word.
Now Edmund, where's the villaine?
But where is he?
Looke Sir, I bleed.
Where is the villaine, Edmund?
Fled this way Sir, when by no meanes he could.
Purſue him, ho: go after. By no meanes, what?
O Madam, my old heart is crack'd, it's crack'd.
O Lady, Lady, ſhame would haue it hid.
I know not Madam, 'tis too bad, too bad.
Yes Madam, he was of that conſort.
It was my duty Sir.
Is he purſued?
I my good Lord.
I ſhall ſerue you Sir truely, how euer elſe.
For him I thanke your Grace.
You know not why we came to viſit you?
Good dawning to thee Friend, art of this houſe?
I.
Where may we ſet our horſes?
I' th' myre.
Prythee, if thou lou'ſt me, tell me.
I loue thee not.
Why then I care not for thee.
If I had thee in Lipsbury Pinfold, I would make thee care for me.
Why do'ſt thou vſe me thus? I know thee not.
Fellow I know thee.
What do'ſt thou know me for?
A Knaue, a Raſcall, an eater of broken meates, a baſe, proud, ſhallow, beggerly, three-ſuited-hundred pound, filthy wooſted-ſtocking knaue, a Lilly-liuered, action-taking, whoreſon glaſſe-gazing ſuper-ſeruiceable finicall Rogue, one Trunke-inheriting ſlaue, one that would'ſt be a Baud in way of good ſeruice, and art no
Why, what a monſtrous Fellow art thou, thus to raile on one, that is neither knowne of thee, nor knowes thee?
What a brazen-fac'd Varlet art thou, to deny thou knoweſt me? Is it two dayes ſince I tript vp thy heeles, and beate thee before the King? Draw you rogue,
Away, I haue nothing to do with thee.
Draw you Raſcall, you come with Letters a
Helpe, ho, murther, helpe.
Strike you ſlaue: ſtand rogue, ſtand you neat ſlaue, ſtrike.
Helpe hoa, murther, murther.
How now, what's the matter? Part.
Weapons? Armes? what's the matter here?
Keepe peace vpon your liues, he dies that ſtrikes againe, what is the matter?
The Meſſengers from our Siſter, and the King?
What is your difference, ſpeake?
I am ſcarce in breath my Lord.
No Maruell, you haue ſo beſtir'd your valour, you cowardly Raſcall, nature diſclaimes in thee: a Taylor made thee.
Thou art a ſtrange fellow, a Taylor make a man?
A Taylor Sir, a Stone-cutter, or a Painter, could not haue made him ſo ill, though they had bin but two yeares oth' trade.
Speake yet, how grew your quarrell?
This ancient Ruffian Sir, whoſe life I haue ſpar'd at ſute of his gray-beard.
Thou whoreſon Zed, thou vnneceſſary letter: my Lord, if you will giue me leaue, I will tread this vn
Yes Sir, but anger hath a priuiledge.
Why art thou angrie?
What art thou mad old Fellow?
How fell you out, ſay that?
His countenance likes me not.
No more perchance do's mine, not his, nor hers.
What mean'ſt by this?
To go out of my dialect, which you diſcom
What was th' offence you gaue him?
Till noone? till night my Lord, and all night too.
Sir, being his Knaue, I will.
Ile anſwere that.
Come my Lord, away.
Haile to thee Noble Maſter.
Ha? Mak'ſt thou this ſhame ahy paſtime?
No my Lord.
Hah, ha, he weares Cruell Garters Horſes are tide by the heads, Dogges and Beares by' th' necke, Monkies by' th' loynes, and Men by' th' legs: when a man ouerluſtie at legs, then he weares wodden nether-ſtocks.
No.
Yes.
No I ſay.
I ſay yea.
By Iupiter I ſweare no.
By Iuno, I ſweare I.
Wirh the Earle Sir, here within.
Follow me not, ſtay here.
And thou hadſt beene ſet i' th' Stockes for that queſtion, thoud'ſt well deſeru'd it.
Why Foole?
Where learn'd you this Foole?
Not i' th' Stocks Foole.
Well my good Lord, I haue inform'd them ſo.
Inform'd them? Do'ſt thou vnderſtand me man.
I my good Lord.
I would haue all well betwixt you.
Oh me my heart! My riſing heart! But downe.
Cry to it Nunckle, as the Cockney did to the Ecles, when ſhe put 'em i' th' Paſte aliue, ſhe knapt 'em o' th' coxcombs with a ſticke, and cryed downe wantons, downe; 'twas her Brother, that in pure kindneſſe to his Horſe buttered his Hay.
Good morrow to you both.
Haile to your Grace.
I am glad to ſee your Highneſſe.
Say? How is that?
My curſes on her.
Fye ſir. fie.
Good Sir, to' th' purpoſe.
Who put my
What Trumpet's that?
What meanes your Grace?
You? Did you?
At your choice Sir.
Is this well ſpoken?
I gaue you all.
And in good time you gaue it.
And ſpeak't againe my Lord, no more with me.
What need one?
Let vs withdraw, 'twill be a Storme.
Followed the old man forth, he is return'd.
The King is in high rage.
Whether is he going?
He cals to Horſe, but will I know not whether.
'Tis beſt to giue him way, he leads himſelfe.
My Lord, entreate him by no meanes to ſtay.
Who's there beſides foule weather?
One minded like the weather, moſt vnquietly.
I know you: Where's the King?
But who is with him?
I will talke further with you.
O Nunkle, Court holy-water in a dry houſe, is better then this Rain-water out o' doore. Good Nunkle, in, aske thy Daughters bleſſing, heere's a night pitties neither Wiſemen, nor Fooles.
Who's there?
Marry here's Grace, and a Codpiece, that's a Wiſeman, and a Foole.
True Boy: Come bring vs to this Houell.
Alacke, alacke Edmund, I like not this vnnaturall dealing; when I deſired their leaue that I might pity him, they tooke from me the vſe of mine owne houſe, charg'd me on paine of perpetuall diſpleaſure, neither to ſpea
Moſt ſauage and vnnaturall.
Go too; ſay you nothing. There is diuiſion beEdmund, pray you be carefull.
Let me alone.
Good my Lord enter heere.
Wilt breake my heart?
Good my Lord enter here.
Fathom, and halfe, Fathom and halfe; poore Tom.
Come not in heere Nuncle, here's a ſpirit, helpe me, helpe me.
Giue me thy hand, who's there?
A ſpirite, a ſpirite, he ſayes his name's poore Tom.
What art thou that doſt grumble there i' th' ſtraw? Come forth.
Away, the foule Fiend followes me, through the ſharpe Hauthorne blow the windes. Humh, goe to thy bed and warme thee.
Did'ſt thou giue all to thy Daughters? And art thou come to this?
Who giues any thing to poore Tom? Whom the foule fiend hath led though Fire, and through Flame, through Sword, and Whirle-Poole, o're Bog, and QuagToms a cold. O do, de, do, de, do de, bliſſe thee from Whirle-Windes, Starre-blaſting, and taTom ſome charitie, whom the foule Fiend vexes. There could I haue him now, and there, and there againe, and there.
Nay, he reſeru'd a Blanket, elſe we had bin all ſham'd.
He hath no Daughters Sir.
Pillicock ſat on Pillicock hill, alow: alow, loo, loo.
This cold night will turne vs all to Fooles, and Madmen.
Take heed o' th' foole Fiend, obey thy PaTom
a cold.
What haſt thou bin?
A Seruingman? Proud in heart, and minde; that curl'd my haire, wore Gloues in my cap; ſeru'd the Luſt of my Miſtris heart, and did the acte of darkeneſſe with her. Swore as many Oathes as I ſpake words, & broke them in the ſweet face of Heauen. One, that ſlept in the contriuing of Luſt, and wak'd to doe it. Wine lou'd I deerely, Dice deerely; and in Woman, out-Paramour'd the Turke. Falſe of heart, light of eare, bloody of hand; Hog in ſloth, Foxe in ſtealth, Wolfe in greedineſſe, Dog in madnes, Lyon in prey. Let not the creaking of ſhooes, Nor the ruſtling of Silkes, betray thy poore heart to woSeſey: let him trot by.
Thou wert better in a Graue, then to anſwere with thy vncouer'd body, this extremitie of the Skies. Is man no more then this? Conſider him well. Thou ow'ſt the Worme no Silke; the Beaſt, no Hide; the Sheepe, no Wooll; the Cat, no perfume. Ha? Here's three on's are ſophiſticated. Thou art the thing it ſelfe; vnaccommo
Prythee Nunckle be contented, 'tis a naughtie night to ſwimme in. Now a little fire in a wilde Field, were like an old Letchers heart, a ſmall ſpark, all the reſt on's body, cold: Looke, heere comes a walking fire.
How fares your Grace?
What's he?
Who's there? What is't you ſeeke?
What are you there? Your Names?
What, hath your Grace no better company?
The Prince of Darkeneſſe is a Gentleman. Modo he's call'd, and Mahu.
Our fleſh and blood, my Lord, is growne ſo vilde, that it doth hate what gets it.
Poore Tom's a cold.
How to preuent the Fiend, and to kill Vermine.
Let me aske you one word in priuate.
Tom's a cold.
In fellow there, into th' Houel; keep thee warm.
Come, let's in all.
This way, my Lord.
Take him you on.
Sirra, come on: go along with vs.
Come, good Athenian.
No words, no words, huſh.
I will haue my reuenge, ere I depart his houſe.
How my Lord, I may be cenſured, that Nature thus giues way to Loyaltie, ſomething feares mee to thinke of.
I now perceiue, it was not altogether your Brothers euill diſpoſition made him ſeeke his death: but a prouoking merit ſet a-worke by a reprouable badneſſe in himſelfe.
How malicious is my fortune, that I muſt re
Go with me to the Dutcheſſe.
If the matter of this Paper be certain, you haue mighty buſineſſe in hand.
True or falſe, it hath made thee Earle of Glou
If I finde him comforting the King, it will ſtuffe his ſuſpition more fully. I will perſeuer in my courſe of Loyalty, though the conflict be ſore betweene that, and my blood.
I will lay truſt vpon thee: and thou ſhalt finde a deere Father in my loue.
Heere is better then the open ayre
All the powre of his wits, haue giuen way to his impatience: the Gods reward your kindneſſe.
Fraterretto cals me, and tells me Nero is an Ang
Prythee Nunkle tell me, whether a madman be a Gentleman, or a Yeoman.
A King, a King.
No, he's a Yeoman, that ha's a Gentleman to his Sonne: for hee's a mad Yeoman that ſees his Sonne a Gentleman before him.
Bleſſe thy fiue wits.
Then let them Anatomize Regan: See what breeds about her heart. Is there any cauſe in Nature that make theſe hard-hearts. You ſir, I entertaine for one of my hundred; only, I do not like the faſhion of your gar
Now good my Lord, lye heere, and reſt awhile.
Make no noiſe, make no noiſe, draw the Cur
And Ile go to bed at noone.
Here Sir, but trouble him not, his wits are gon.
Poſte ſpeedily to my Lord your husband, ſhew him this Letter, the Army of France is landed: ſeeke out the Traitor Glouſter.
Hang him inſtantly.
Plucke out his eyes.
Leaue him to my diſpleaſure. Edmond, keepe you our Siſter company: the reuenges wee are bound to take vppon your Traitorous Father, are not fit for your beholding. Aduice the Duke where you are going, to a moſt feſtiuate preparation: we are bound to the like. Our Poſtes ſhall be ſwift, and intelligent betwixt vs. Fare
How now? Where's the King?
Get horſes for your Miſtris.
Farewell ſweet Lord, and Siſter.
Ingratefull Fox, 'tis he.
Binde faſt his corky armes.
Binde him I ſay.
Hard, hard: O filthy Traitor.
Vnmercifull Lady, as you are, I'me none.
So white, and ſuch a Traitor?
Be ſimple anſwer'd, for we know the truth.
And what confederacie haue you with the Trai
Cunning.
And falſe.
Where haſt thou ſent the King?
To Douer.
Wherefore to Douer? Let him anſwer that.
Wherefore to Douer?
One ſide will mocke another: Th' other too.
If you ſee vengeance.
How now, you dogge?
My Villaine?
Nay then come on, and take the chance of anger.
Giue me thy Sword. A pezant ſtand vp thus?
You cannot ſee your way.
How now? who's there?
'Tis poore mad Tom.
Fellow, where goeſt?
Is it a Beggar-man?
Madman, and beggar too.
Is that the naked Fellow?
I, my Lord.
Alacke ſir, he is mad.
Sirrah, naked fellow.
Poore Tom's a cold. I cannot daub it further.
Come hither fellow.
Know'ſt thou the way to Douer?
Both ſtyle, and gate; Horſeway, and foot-path: poore Tom hath bin ſcarr'd out of his good wits. Bleſſe thee good mans ſonne, from the foule Fiend.
I Maſter.
Yours in the rankes of death.
Madam, here come's my Lord.
I haue beene worth the whiſtle.
Oh vaine Foole.
Glouſters eyes.
Come with my Lady hither.
He is not heere.
No my good Lord, I met him backe againe.
Knowes he the wickedneſſe?
But are my Brothers Powres ſet forth?
I Madam
Himſelfe in perſon there?
Lord Edmund ſpake not with your Lord at home?
No Madam.
What night import my Siſters Letter to him?
I know not, Lady.
I muſt needs after him, Madam, with my Letter.
Madam, I had rather—
I, Madam?
Fare thee well.
When ſhall I come to th' top of that ſame hill?
You do climbe vp it now. Look how we labor.
Me thinkes the ground is eeuen.
No truly.
Me thinkes y' are better ſpoken.
Set me where you ſtand.
Now fare ye well, good Sir.
With all my heart.
Away, and let me dye.
But haue I falne, or no?
Too well, too well.
A poore vnfortunate Beggar.
No, they cannot touch me for crying. I am the King himſelfe.
O thou ſide-piercing ſight!
Nature's aboue Art, in that reſpect. Ther's your Preſſe-money. That fellow handles his bow, like a Crow-keeper: draw mee a Cloathiers yard. Looke, looke, a Mouſe: peace, peace, this peece of toaſted Cheeſe will doo't. There's my Gauntlet, Ile proue it on a Gyant. Bring vp the browne Billes. O well flowne Bird: i' th' clout, i' th' clout: Hewgh. Giue the word.
Sweet Mariorum.
Paſſe.
I know that voice.
Ha! Gonerill with a white beard? They flatter'd me like a Dogge, and told mee I had the white hayres in my Beard, ere the blacke ones were there. To ſay I, and no, to euery thing that I ſaid: I, and no too, was no good Diuinity. When the raine came to wet me once, and the winde to make me chatter: when the Thunder would not peace at my bidding, there I found 'em, there I ſmelt 'em out. Go too, they are not men o' their words; they told me, I was euery thing: 'Tis a Lye, I am not Agu-proofe.
O let me kiſſe that hand.
I remember thine eyes well enough: doſt thou ſquiny at me? No, doe thy worſt blinde Cupid, Ile not loue. Reade thou this challenge, marke but the penning of it.
Were all thy Letters Sunnes, I could not ſee.
Read.
What with the Caſe of eyes?
Oh ho, are you there with me? No eies in your head, nor no mony in your purſe? Your eyes are in a hea
I ſee it feelingly.
What, art mad? A man may ſee how this world goes, with no eyes. Looke with thine eares: See how yond Iuſtice railes vpon yond ſimple theefe. Hearke in thine eare: Change places, and handy-dandy, which is the Iuſtice, which is the theefe: Thou haſt ſeene a Far
I Sir.
And the Creature run from the Cur: there thou might'ſt behold the great image of Authoritie, a Dogg's obey'd in Office. Thou, Raſcall Beadle, hold thy bloody hand: why doſt thou laſh that Whore? Strip thy owne backe, thou hotly luſts to vſe her in that kind, for which thou whip'ſt her. The Vſurer hangs the Cozener. Tho
Alacke, alacke the day.
You ſhall haue any thing.
You are a Royall one, and we obey you.
Haile gentle Sir.
Sir, ſpeed you: what's your will?
Do you heare ought (Sir) of a Battell toward.
I thanke you Sir, that's all.
I thanke you Sir.
Well pray you Father.
Now good ſir, what are you?
Let go Slaue, or thou dy'ſt.
Good Gentleman goe your gate, and let poore volke paſſe: and 'chud ha' bin zwaggerd out of my life, 'twould not ha'bin zo long as 'tis, by a vortnight. Nay, come not neere th' old man: keepe out che vor'ye, or ice try whither your Coſtard, or my Ballow be the harder; chill be plaine with you.
Out Dunghill.
Chill picke your teeth Zir: come, no matter vor your foynes.
What, is he dead?
LEt our reciprocall vowes be remembred. You haue manie opportunities to cut him off: if your will want not, time and place will be fruitfully offer'd. There is nothing done. If hee returne the Conqueror, then am I the Priſoner, and his bed, my Gaole, from the loathed warmth whereof, deliuer me, and ſupply the place for your Labour.
Madam ſleepes ſtill.
Kind and deere Princeſſe.
Madam do you, 'tis fitteſt.
Sir, do you know me?
You are a ſpirit I know, where did you dye?
Still, ſtill, farre wide.
And ſo I am: I am.
No cauſe, no cauſe.
Am I in France?
In your owne kingdome Sir.
Do not abuſe me.
Wilt pleaſe your Highneſſe walke?
Our Siſters man is certainely miſcarried.
'Tis to be doubted Madam.
In honour'd Loue.
No by mine honour, Madam.
Feare not, ſhe and the Duke her husband.
Why is this reaſond?
Siſter you'le go with vs?
No.
'Tis moſt conuenient, pray go with vs.
Oh ho, I know the Riddle, I will goe.
Ile ouertake you, ſpeake.
Stay till I haue read the Letter.
Why farethee well, I will o're-looke thy paper.
We will greet the time.
Grace go with you Sir.
No further Sir, a man may rot euen heere.
And that's true too.
Take them away.
Ile do't my Lord.
That were the moſt, if he ſhould husband you.
Ieſters do oft proue Prophets.
Meane you to enioy him?
The let alone lies not in your good will.
Nor in thine Lord.
Halfe-blooded fellow, yes.
Let the Drum ſtrike, and proue my title thine.
An enterlude.
Sicke, O ſicke.
If not, Ile nere truſt medicine.
My ſickneſſe growes vpon me.
IF any man of qualitie or degree, within the liſts of the Ar
my, will maintaine vpon Edmund, ſuppoſed Earle of Gloſter, that he is a manifold Traitor, let him appeare by the third ſound of the Trumpet: he is bold in his defence.
Againe.
Againe.
Which is that Aduerſary?
What's he that ſpeakes for Edmund Earle of Glo
Himſelfe, what ſaiſt thou to him?
Saue him, ſaue him.
Moſt monſtrous! O, know'ſt thou this paper?
Aske me not what I know.
Go after her, ſhe's deſperate, gouerne her.
Worthy Prince I know't.
Helpe, helpe: O helpe.
What kinde of helpe?
Speake man.
What meanes this bloody Knife?
'Tis hot, it ſmoakes, it came euen from the heart of—O ſhe's dead.
Who dead? Speake man.
Here comes Kent.
Alacke, why thus?
Euen ſo: couer their faces.
Run, run, O run.
Haſt thee for thy life.
The Gods defend her, beare him hence awhile.
Is this the promis'd end?
Or image of that horror.
Fall and ceaſe.
O my good Maſter.
Prythee away.
'Tis Noble Kent your Friend.
'Tis true (my Lords) he did.
This is a dull ſight, are you not Kent?
No my good Lord, I am the very man.
Ile ſee that ſtraight.
Your are welcome hither.
I ſo I thinke.
Very bootleſſe.
Edmund is dead my Lord.
He faints, my Lord, my Lord.
Breake heart, I prythee breake.
Looke vp my Lord.
He is gon indeed.
By heauen, I rather would haue bin his hangman.
I would not follow him then.
Heere is her Fathers houſe, Ile call aloud.
What hoa: Brabantio, Siginor Brabantio, hoa.
Signior is all your Familie within?
Are your Doores lock'd?
Why? Wherefore ask you this?
What, haue you loſt your wits?
Moſt reuerend Signior, do you know my voice?
Not I: what are you?
My name is Rodorigo.
Sir, Sir, Sir.
Patience good Sir.
Sir: you are one of thoſe that will not ſerue God, if the deuill bid you. Becauſe we come to do you ſeruice, and you thinke we are Ruſſians, you'le haue your Daugh
What prophane wretch art thou?
I am one Sir, that comes to tell you, your Daugh
Thou art a Villaine.
You are a Senator.
This thou ſhalt anſwere. I know thee Rodorigo.
Truely I think
Yes Sir: I haue indeed.
'Tis better as it is.
By Ianus, I thinke no.
What is the matter, thinke you?
Aunciant, what makes he heere?
I do not vnderſtand.
He's married.
To who?
Marry to — Come Captaine, will you go?
Haue with you.
Here comes another Troope to ſeeke for you.
Holla, ſtand there.
Signior, it is the Moore.
Downe with him, Theefe.
You, Rodorigoc? Cme Sir, I am for you.
Keepe vp your bright Swords, for the dew will ruſt them. Good Signior, you ſhall more command with yeares, then with your Weapons.
And mine a Hundred fortie.
What hoa, what hoa, what hoa.
A Meſſenger from the Gallies.
Now? What's the buſineſſe?
How ſay you by this change?
Nay, in all confidence he's not for Rhodes.
Here is more Newes.
I, ſo I thought: how many, as you gueſſe?
He's now in Florence.
Here comes Brabantio, and the Valiant Moore.
Why? What's the matter?
My Daughter: oh my Daughter!
Dead?
We are verie ſorry for't.
What in your owne part, can you ſay to this?
Nothing, but this is ſo.
Fetch Deſdemona hither.
Say it Othello.
The Turke with a moſt mighty Preparation makes for Cyprus: Othello, the Fortitude of the place is beſt knowne to you. And though we haue there a Subſti
Why at her Fathers?
I will not haue it ſo.
Nor I.
What would you Deſdemona?
You muſt away to night.
With all my heart.
Adieu braue Moore, vſe Deſdemona well.
Iago.
What ſaiſt thou Noble heart?
What will I do, think'ſt thou?
Why go to bed and ſleepe.
I will incontinently drowne my ſelfe.
If thou do'ſt, I ſhall neuer loue thee after. Why thou ſilly Gentleman?
It is ſillyneſſe to liue, when to liue is torment: and then haue we a preſcription to dye, when death is our Phyſition.
Oh villanous: I haue look'd vpon the world for foure times ſeuen yeares, and ſince I could diſtinguiſh betwixt a Benefit, and an Iniurie: I neuer found man that knew how to loue himſelfe. Ere I would ſay, I would drowne my ſelfe for the loue of a Gynney Hen, I would change my Humanity with a Baboone.
What ſhould I do? I confeſſe it is my ſhame to be ſo fond, but it is not in my vertue to amend it.
Vertue? A figge, 'tis in our ſelues that we are thus, or thus. Our Bodies are our Gardens, to the which, our Wills are Gardiners. So that if we will plant Net
It cannot be.
It is meerly a Luſt of the blood, and a permiſſion of the will. Come, be a man: drowne thy ſelfe? Drown Cats, and blind Puppies. I haue profeſt me thy Friend, and I confeſſe me knit to thy deſeruing, with Cables of perdurable toughneſſe. I could neuer better ſteed thee then now. Put Money in thy purſe: follow thou the Warres, defeate thy fauour, with an vſurp'd Beard. I ſay put Money in thy purſe. It cannot be long that Deſdemona ſhould continue her loue to the Moore. Put Money in thy purſe: nor he his to her. It was a violent Commence
Wilt thou be faſt to my hopes, if I depend on the iſſue?
Thou art ſure of me: Go make Money: I haue told thee often, and I re-tell thee againe, and againe, I hate the Moore. My cauſe is hearted; thine hath no leſſe reaſon. Let vs be coniunctiue in our reuenge, againſt him. If thou canſt Cuckold him, thou doſt thy ſelfe a pleaſure, me a ſport. There are many Euents in the Wombe of Time, which wilbe deliuered. Trauerſe, go, prouide thy Money. We will haue more of this to mor
Where ſhall we meete i' th' morning?
At my Lodging.
Ile be with thee betimes.
Go too, farewell. Do you heare Rodorigo?
Ile ſell all my Land.
What from the Cape, can you diſcerne at Sea?
How? Is this true?
Is he well ſhip'd?
A Saile, a Saile, a Saile.
What noiſe?
My hopes do ſhape him for the Gouernor.
I ſhall.
But good Lieutenant, is your Generall wiu'd?
'Tis one Iago, Auncient to the Generall.
What is ſhe?
A Saile, a Saile.
Alas: ſhe ha's no ſpeech.
You haue little cauſe to ſay ſo.
Come on, come on: you are Pictures out of doore: Bells in your Parlours: Wilde-Cats in your Kit
Oh, fie vpon thee, Slanderer.
You ſhall not write my praiſe.
No, let me not.
What would'ſt write of me, if thou ſhould'ſt praiſe me?
I Madam.
Worſe, and worſe.
How if Faire, and Fooliſh?
Theſe are old fond Paradoxes, to make Fooles laugh i' th' Alehouſe. What miſerable praiſe haſt thou for her that's Foule, and Fooliſh.
Oh heauy ignorance: thou praiſeſt the worſt beſt. But what praiſe could'ſt thou beſtow on a deſer
To do what?
To ſuckle Fooles, and chronicle ſmall Beere.
Oh moſt lame and impotent concluſion. Do not learne of him Aemillia, though he be thy husband. How ſay you (Caſſio) is he not a moſt prophane, and li
He ſpeakes home (Madam) you may relliſh him more in the Souldier, then in the Scholler.
He takes her by the palme: I, well ſaid, whiſCaſſio. I ſmile vpon her, do: I will giue thee in thine owne Courtſhip. You ſay true, 'tis ſo indeed. If ſuch tricks as theſe ſtrip you out of your Lieutenan
The Moore I know his Trumpet.
'Tis truely ſo.
Let's meete him, and recieue him.
Loe, where he comes.
O, my faire Warriour.
My deere Othello.
Oh you are well tun'd now: But Ile ſet downe the peggs that make this Muſicke, as honeſt as I am.
Do thou meet me preſently at the Harbour. Come thither, if thou be'ſt Valiant, (as they ſay baſe men being in Loue, haue then a Nobilitie in their Natures, more then is natiue to them) lift-me; the Lieutenant to night watches on the Court of Guard. Firſt, I muſt tell thee this: Deſdemona, is directly in loue with him.
With him? Why, 'tis not poſſible.
Lay thy finger thus: and let thy ſoule be inCaſſio do's: a knaue very voluble: no further conſcionable, then in putting on the meere forme of Ciuill, and Humaine ſeeming, for the better compaſſe of his ſalt, and moſt hidden looſe Affection? Why none, why none: A ſlipper, and ſubtle knaue, a finder of occa
I cannot beleeue that in her, ſhe's full of moſt bleſs'd condition.
Bleſs'd figges-end. The Wine ſhe drinkes is made of grapes. If ſhee had beene bleſs'd, ſhee would neuer haue lou'd the Moore: Bleſs'd pudding. Didſt thou not ſee her paddle with the palme of his hand? Didſt not marke that?
Yes, that I did: but that was but curteſie.
Leacherie by this hand: an Index, and obſcure prologue to the Hiſtory of Luſt and foule Thoughts. They met ſo neere with their lippes, that their breathes embrac'd together. Villanous thoughts Rodorigo, when theſe mutabilities ſo marſhall the way, hard at hand comes the Maſter, and maine exerciſe, th' incorporate concluſion: Piſh. But Sir, be you rul'd by me. I haue brought you from Venice. Watch you to night: for the Command, Ile lay't vpon you. Caſſio knowes you not: Ile not be farre from you. Do you finde ſome ocCaſſio, either by ſpeaking too loud, or tainting his diſcipline, or from what other courſe you pleaſe, which the time ſhall more fauorably mi
Well.
Sir, he's raſh, and very ſodaine in Choller: and happely may ſtrike at you, prouoke him that he may: for euen out of that will I cauſe theſe of Cyprus to Mutiny. Whoſe qualification ſhall come into no true taſte aCaſſio. So ſhall you haue a ſhorter iourney to your deſires, by the meanes I ſhall then haue to preferre them. And the impediment moſt profitably remoued, without the which there were no expectation of our proſperitie.
I will do this, if you can bring it to any oppor
I warrant thee. Meete me by and by at the Cittadell. I muſt fetch his Neceſſaries a Shore. Fare
Adieu.
It is Othello's pleaſure, our Noble and ValiOthello.
Welcome Iago: we muſt to the Watch.
Not this houre Lieutenant: 'tis not yet ten o' th' clocke. Our Generall caſt vs thus earely for the loue of his Deſdemona: Who, let vs not therefore blame; he hath not yet made wanton the night with her: and ſhe is ſport for Ioue.
She's a moſt exquiſite Lady.
And Ile warrant her, full of Game.
Indeed ſhes a moſt freſh and delicate creature.
She is indeed perfection.
Well: happineſſe to their Sheetes. Come LieuOthello.
Not to night, good Iago, I haue very poore, and vnhappie Braines for drinking. I could well wiſh Curteſie would inuent ſome other Cuſtome of enter
Oh, they are our Friends: but one Cup, Ile drinke for you.
I haue drunke but one Cup to night, and that was craftily qualified too: and behold what inouation it makes heere. I am infortunate in the infirmity, and dare not taske my weakeneſſe with any more.
What man? 'Tis a night of Reuels, the Gal
Where are they?
Heere, at the doore: I pray you call them in.
Ile do't, but it diſlikes me.
'Fore heauen, they haue giuen me a rowſe already.
Good-faith a litle one: not paſt a pint, as I am a Souldier.
'Fore Heauen: an excellent Song.
I learn'd it in England: where indeed they are moſt potent in Potting. Your Dane, your Germaine, and your ſwag-belly'd Hollander, (drinke hoa) are nothing to your Engliſh.
Is your Engliſhmen ſo exquiſite in his drin
Why, he drinkes you with facillitie, your Dane dead drunke. He ſweates not to ouerthrow your Al
To the health of our Generall.
I am for it Lieutenant: and Ile do you Iuſtice.
Why this is a more exquiſite Song then the o
Will you heare't againe?
No: for I hold him to be vnworthy of his Place, that do's thoſe things. Well: heau'ns aboue all: and there be ſoules muſt be ſaued, and there be ſoules muſt not be ſaued.
It's true, good Lieutenant.
For mine owne part, no offence to the Generall, nor any man of qualitie: I hope to be ſaued.
And ſo do I too Lieutenant.
I: (but by your leaue) not before me. The Lieutenant is to be ſaued before the Ancient. Let's haue no more of this: let's to our Affaires. Forgiue vs our ſinnes: Gentlemen let's looke to our buſineſſe. Do not thinke Gentlemen, I am drunke: this is my Ancient, this is my right hand, and this is my left. I am not drunke now: I can ſtand well enough, and I ſpeake well enough.
Excellent well.
Why very well then: you muſt not thinke then, that I am drunke.
To th' Platforme (Maſters) come, let's ſet the Watch.
But is he often thus?
You Rogue: you Raſcall.
What's the matter Lieutenant?
Beate me?
Doſt thou prate, Rogue?
Come, come: you're drunke.
Drunke?
What is the matter heere?
I bleed ſtill, I am hurt to th' death. He dies.
Hold for your liues.
How comes it (Michaell) you are thus forgot?
I pray you pardon me, I cannot ſpeake.
What is the matter (Deere?)
What are you hurt Lieutenant?
I, paſt all Surgery.
Marry Heauen forbid.
Reputation, Reputation, Reputation: Oh I haue loſt my Reputation. I haue loſt the immortall part of myſelfe, and what remaines is beſtiall. My Reputation, Iago, my Reputation.
As I am an honeſt man I had thought you had receiued ſome bodily wound; there is more ſence in that then in Reputation. Reputation is an idle, and moſt falſe impoſition; oft got without merit, and loſt without de
I will rather ſue to be deſpis'd, then to deceiue ſo good a Commander, with ſo ſlight, ſo drunken, and ſo indiſcreet an Officer. Drunke? And ſpeake Parrat? And ſquabble? Swagger? Sweare? And diſcourſe Fuſtian with ones owne ſhadow? Oh thou inviſible ſpirit of Wine, if thou haſt no name to be knowne by, let vs call thee Diuell.
What was he that you follow'd with your Sword? What had he done to you?
I know not.
Is't poſſible?
I remember a maſſe of things, but nothing di
Why? But you are now well enough: how came you thus recouered?
It hath pleas'd the diuell drunkenneſſe, to giue place to the diuell wrath, one vnpe
Come, you are too ſeuere
I will aske him for my Place againe, he ſhall tell me, I am a drunkard: had I as many mouthes as Hydra, ſuch an anſwer would ſtop them all. To be now a ſen
Come, come: good wine, is a good famillar Creature, if it be well vs'd: exclaime no more againſt it. And good Lieutenant, I thinke, you thinke I loue you.
I haue well approued it, Sir. I drunke?
You, or any man liuing, may be drunke at a time man. I tell you what you ſhall do: Our General's Wife, is now the Generall. I may ſay ſo, in this reſpect, for that he hath deuoted, and giuen vp himſelfe to the Contemplation, marke: and deuotement of her parts and Graces. Confeſſe your ſelfe freely to her: Impor
You aduiſe me well.
I proteſt in the ſinceritie of Loue, and honeſt kindneſſe.
I thinke it freely: and betimes in the morDeſdemona to vndertake for me: I am deſperate of my Fortunes if they check me.
You are in the right: good night Lieutenant, I muſt to the Watch.
Good night, honeſt Iago.
I do follow heere in the Chace, not like a Hound that hunts, but one that filles vp the Crie. My Money is almoſt ſpent; I haue bin to night exceedingly well Cudgell'd: And I thinke the iſſue
Why Maſters, haue your Inſtruments bin in Na
How Sir? how?
Are theſe I pray you, winde Inſtruments?
I marry are they ſir.
Oh, thereby hangs a tale.
Whereby hangs a tale, ſir?
Marry ſir, by many a winde Inſtrument that I know. But Maſters, heere's money for you: and the Ge
Well Sir, we will not.
If you haue any Muſicke that may not be heard, too't againe. But (as they ſay) to heare Muſicke, the Ge
We haue none ſuch, ſir.
Then put vp your Pipes in your bagge, for Ile away. Go, vaniſh into ayre, away.
Doſt thou heare me, mine honeſt Friend?
Prythee keepe vp thy Quillets, ther's a poore peece of Gold for thee: if the Gentlewoman that attends the Generall be ſtirring, tell her, there's one Caſſio en
She is ſtirring ſir: if ſhe will ſtirre hither, I ſhall ſeeme to notifie vnto her.
In happy time, Iago.
You haue not bin a-bed then?
I am much bound to you.
Well, my good Lord, Ile doo't.
This Fortification (Gentlemen) ſhall we ſee't?
Well waite vpon your Lordſhip.
Madam, heere comes my Lord.
Madam, Ile take my leaue.
Why ſtay, and heare me ſpeake.
Well, do your diſcretion.
Hah? I like not that,
What doſt thou ſay?
Nothing my Lord; or if—I know not what.
Was not that Caſſio parted from my wife?
I do beleeue 'twas he.
Who is't you meane?
Went he hence now?
Not now (ſweet Deſdemon) ſome other time.
But ſhall't be ſhortly?
The ſooner (Sweet) for you.
Shall't be to night, at Supper?
No, not to night.
To morrow Dinner then?
Shall I deny you? No: farewell my Lord.
Farewell my Deſdemona, Ile come to thee ſtrait.
My Noble Lord.
What doſt thou ſay, Iago?
Why of thy thought, Iago?
I did not thinke he had bin acquainted with hir.
O yes, and went betweene vs very oft.
Indeed?
Honeſt, my Lord?
Honeſt? I, Honeſt.
My Lord, for ought I know.
What do'ſt thou thinke?
Thinke, my Lord?
My Lord, you know I loue you.
I thinke ſo too.
Certaine, men ſhould be what they ſeeme.
Why then I thinke Caſsio's an honeſt man.
What doſt thou meane?
Ile know thy Thoughts.
Ha?
O miſerie.
Doſt thou ſay ſo?
And ſo ſhe did.
I am bound to thee for euer.
I ſee this hath a little daſh'd your Spirits:
Not a iot, not a iot.
I will not.
And yet how Nature erring from it ſelfe.
My Lord, I take my leaue.
Feare not my gouernment.
I once more take my leaue.
I am too blame.
I haue a paine vpon my Forehead, heere.
I am very ſorry that you are not well.
How now? What do you heere alone?
Do not you chide: I haue a thing for you.
Hah?
To haue a fooliſh wife.
What Handkerchiefe?
Haſt ſtolne it from her?
A good wench, giue it me.
What will you do with't, that you haue bene ſo earneſt to haue me filch it?
Why, what is that to you?
Ha, Ha, falſe to mee?
Why how now Generall? No more of that.
How now, my Lord?
I am ſorry to heare this?
Is't poſſible my Lord?
Is't come to this?
My Noble Lord.
Nay ſtay: thou ſhould'ſt be honeſt.
Would? Nay, and I will.
Death, and damnation. Oh!
Giue me a liuing reaſon ſhe's diſloyall.
O monſtrous! monſtrous!
Nay, this was but his Dreame.
Ile teare her all to peeces.
I gaue her ſuch a one: 'twas my firſt gift.
If it be that.
Yet be content.
Oh blood, blood, blood.
Patience I ſay: your minde may change.
I am your owne for euer.
Do you know Sirrah, where Lieutenant Caſſio lyes?
I dare not ſay he lies any where.
Why man?
He's a Soldier, and for me to ſay a Souldier lyes, 'tis ſtabbing.
Go too: where lodges he?
To tell you where he lodges, is to tel you where I lye.
Can any thing be made of this?
I know not where he lodges, and for mee to de
Can you enquire him out? and be edified by re
I will Catechize the world for him, that is, make Queſtions, and by them anſwer.
Seeke him, bidde him come hither: tell him, I haue moou'd my Lord on his behalfe, and hope all will be well.
To do this, is within the compaſſe of mans Wit, and therefore I will attempt the doing it.
Where ſhould I looſe the Handkerchiefe, Aemilia?
I know not Madam.
Is he not iealious?
Looke where he comes.
Well, my good Lord.
It hath felt no age, nor knowne no ſorrow.
What promiſe, Chucke?
I haue ſent to bid Caſſio come ſpeake with you.
Heere my Lord.
That which I gaue you.
I haue it not about me.
Not?
No indeed, my Lord.
Is't poſſible?
Indeed? Is't true?
Moſt veritable, therefore looke too't well.
Then would to Heauen, that I had neuer ſeene't?
Ha? wherefore?
Why do you ſpeake ſo ſtartingly and raſh?
Is't loſt? Is't gon? Speak, is't out o' th' way?
Bleſſe vs.
Say you?
It is not loſt: but what and if it were?
How?
I ſay it is not loſt.
Fetcht, let me ſee't.
Come, come: you'l neuer meete a more ſuffici
The Handkerchiefe.
The Handkerchiefe.
Inſooth, you are too blame.
Away.
Is not this man iealious?
How now (good Caſſio) what's the newes with you?
Is my Lord angry?
Alas the day, I neuer gaue him cauſe.
Heauen keepe the Monſter from Othello's mind.
Lady, Amen.
I humbly thanke your Ladyſhip.
'Saue you (Friend Caſſio.)
Why, who's is it?
Leaue you? Wherefore?
Why, I ptay you?
Not that I loue you not.
'Tis very good: I muſt be circumſtanc'd.
Will you thinke ſo?
Thinke ſo, Iago?
What, to kiſſe in priuate?
An vnauthoriz'd kiſſe?
What then?
I: what of that?
That's not ſo good now.
Hath he ſaid any thing?
What hath he ſaid?
Why, that he did: I know not what he did.
What? What?
Lye.
With her?
With her? On her: what you will.
Lye with her? lye on her? We ſay lye on her, when they be-lye-her. Lye with her: that's fullſome: Handkerchiefe: Confeſſions: Handkerchiefe. To con
What's the matter?
Rub him about the Temples.
Doſt thou mocke me?
A Horned man's a Monſter, and a Beaſt.
Did he confeſſe it?
Oh, thou art wiſe: 'tis certaine.
Alas poore Caitiffe.
Looke how he laughes already.
I neuer knew woman loue man ſo.
Alas poore Rogue, I thinke indeed ſhe loues me.
Now he denies it faintly: and laughes it out.
Do you heare Caſſio?
Ha, ha, ha.
Do ye triumph, Romaine? do you triumph?
So, ſo, ſo, ſo: they laugh, that winnes.
Why the cry goes, that you marry her.
Prythee ſay true.
I am a very Villaine elſe.
Haue you ſcoar'd me? Well.
Iago becomes me: now he begins the ſtory.
She was heere euen now: ſhe haunts me in e
Crying oh deere Caſſio, as it were: his ieſture im
Now he tells how ſhe pluckt him to my Cham
Well, I muſt leaue her companie.
Before me: looke where ſhe comes.
Let the diuell, and his dam haunt you: what did you meane by that ſame Handkerchiefe, you gaue me euen now? I was a fine Foole to take it: I muſt take out the worke? A likely piece of worke, that you ſhould finde it in your Chamber, and know not who left it there. This is ſome Minxes token, & I muſt take out the work
By Heauen, that ſhould be my Handkerchiefe.
If you'le come to ſupper to night you may, if you will not, come when you are next prepar'd for.
After her: after her.
I muſt, ſhee'l rayle in the ſtreets elſe.
Will you ſup there?
Yes, I intend ſo.
Well, I may chance to ſee you: for I would ve
Prythee come: will you?
Go too: ſay no more.
How ſhall I murther him, Iago.
Did you perceiue how he laugh'd at his vice?
Oh, Iago.
And did you ſee the Handkerchiefe?
Was that mine?
Yours by this hand: and to ſee how he prizes the fooliſh woman your wife: ſhe gaue it him, and he hath giu'n it his whore.
Nay, you muſt forget that.
I, let her
Nay, that's not your way.
Hang her, I do but ſay what ſhe is: ſo delicate with her Needle: an admirable Muſitian. Oh ſhe will ſing the Sauageneſſe out of a Beare: of ſo high and plen
She's the worſe for all this.
I too gentle.
If you are ſo fond ouer her iniquitie: giue her pattent to offend, for if it touch not you, it comes neere no body.
I will chop her into Meſſes: Cuckold me?
Oh, 'tis foule in her.
With mine Officer?
That's fouler.
Get me ſome poyſon, Iago, this night. Ile not expoſtulate with her: leaſt her body and beautie vnproIago.
Excellent good: What Trumpet is that ſame?
Saue you worthy Generall.
With all my heart Sir.
The Duke, and the Senators of Venice greet you.
I kiſſe the Inſtrument of their pleaſures.
And what's the newes, good cozen Lodouico?
I thanke you: how do's Lieutenant Caſſio?
Liues Sir,
Are you ſure of that?
My Lord?
This faile you not to do, as you will —
Fire, and brimeſtone.
My Lord.
Are you wiſe?
What is he angrie?
Truſt me, I am glad on't.
Indeed?
My Lord?
I am glad to ſee you mad.
Why, ſweete Othello?
Diuell.
I haue not deſeru'd this.
I will not ſtay to offend you.
Miſtris.
My Lord.
What would you with her, Sir?
Who I, my Lord?
He is much chang'd.
Are his wits ſafe? Is he not light of Braine?
What? Strike his wife?
I am ſorry that I am deceiu'd in him.
You haue ſeene nothing then?
Nor euer heard: nor euer did ſuſpect.
Yes; you haue ſeene Caſſio, and ſhe together.
What? Did they neuer whiſper?
Neuer my Lord.
Nor ſend you out o' th' way?
Neuer.
To fetch her Fan, her Gloues, her Mask, nor no
Neuer my Lord.
That's ſtrange.
My Lord, what is your will?
Pray you Chucke come hither.
What is your pleaſure?
Let me ſee your eyes: looke in my face.
What horrible Fancie's this?
Why? What art thou?
Your wife my Lord: your true and loyall wife.
Come ſweare it: damne thy ſelfe, leaſt being like one of Heauen, the diuells themſelues ſhould feare to ceaze thee. Therefore be double damn'd: ſweare thou art honeſt.
Heauen doth truely know it.
Heauen truely knowes, that thou art falſe as hell.
Ah Deſdemon, away, away, away.
I hope my Noble Lord eſteemes me honeſt.
Alas, what ignorant ſin haue I committed?
By Heauen you do me wrong.
Are not you a Strumpet?
What, not a Whore?
No, as I ſhall be ſau'd.
Is't poſſible?
Oh Heauen forgiue vs.
Faith, halfe a ſleepe.
With who?
Why, with my Lord, Madam?
Who is thy Lord?
He that is yours, ſweet Lady.
Heere's a change indeed.
What is the matter Lady?
Am I that name, Iago?
What name (faire Lady?)
Such as ſhe ſaid my Lord did ſay I was.
Why did he ſo?
I do not know: I am ſure I am none ſuch.
Do not weepe, do not weepe: alas the day.
It is my wretched Fortune.
Nay, Heauen doth know.
Fie, there is no ſuch man: it is impoſſible.
If any ſuch there be, Heauen pardon him.
Speake within doore.
You are a Foole: go too.
If 'twere no other.
What in the contrarie?
Euery day thou dafts me with ſome deuiſe Iago, and rather, as it ſeemes to me now, keep'ſt from me all conueniencie, then ſupplieſt me with the leaſt ad
Will you heare me Rodorigo?
I haue heard too much: and your words and Performances are no kin together.
You charge me moſt vniuſtly.
With naught but truth: I haue waſted my ſelfe out of my meanes. The Iewels you haue had from me to deliuer Deſdemona, would halfe haue corrupted a Votariſt. You haue told me ſhe hath receiu'd them, and return'd me expectations and comforts of ſodaine reſpect, and acquaintance, but I finde none.
Well, go too: very well.
Very well
Very well.
I tell you, 'tis not very well: I will make my ſelfe knowne to Deſdemona. If ſhe will returne me my Iewels, I will giue ouer my Suit, and repent my vnlaw
You haue ſaid now.
I: and ſaid nothing but what I proteſt intend
Why, now I ſee there's mettle in thee: and euen from this inſtant do build on thee a better oRodorigo. Thou haſt taken againſt me a moſt iuſt excepti
It hath not appeer'd.
I grant indeed it hath not appeer'd: and your ſuſpition is not without wit and iudgement. But Rodorigo, if thou haſt that in thee indeed, which I haue greater reaſon toDeſdemona, take me from this world with Treache
Well: what is it? Is it within, reaſon and com
Sir, there is eſpeciall Commiſſion come from Venice to depute Caſſio in Othello's place.
Is that true? Why then Othello and Deſdemona returne againe to Venice.
Oh no: he goes into Mauritania and taketh away with him the faire Deſdemona, vnleſſe his aCaſſio.
How do you meane remouing him?
Why, by making him vncapable of Othello's place: knocking out his braines.
And that you would haue me to do.
I: if you dare do your ſelfe a profit, and a right. He ſups to night with a Harlotry: and thither will I go to him. He knowes not yet of his Honourable Fortune, if you will watch his going thence (which I will faſhion to fall out betweene twelue and one) you may take him at your pleaſure. I will be neere to ſecond your Attempt, and he ſhall fall betweene vs. Come, ſtand not amaz'd at it, but go along with me: I will ſhew you ſuch a neceſſitie in his death, that you ſhall thinke your ſelfe bound to put it on him. It is now high ſupper time: and the night growes to waſt. About it.
I will heare further reaſon for this.
And you ſhalbe ſatisfi'd.
I do beſeech you Sir, trouble your ſelfe no further.
Oh pardon me: 'twill do me good to walke.
Madam, good night: I humbly thanke your Ladyſhip.
Your Honour is moſt welcome.
Will you walke Sir? Oh Deſdemona.
My Lord.
Get you to bed on th' inſtant, I will be re
I will my Lord.
How goes it now? He lookes gentler then he did.
Diſmiſſe me?
I, would you had neuer ſeene him.
I haue laid thoſe Sheetes you bad me on the bed.
Come, come: you talke.
Shall I go fetch your Night-gowne?
A very handſome man.
He ſpeakes well.
I know a Lady in Venice would haue walk'd barefoot to Paleſtine for a touch of his nether lip.
It's the wind.
'Tis neyther heere, nor there.
There be ſome ſuch, no queſtion.
Would'ſt thou do ſuch a deed for all the world?
Why, would not you?
No, by this Heauenly light.
Would'ſt thou do ſuch a deed for al the world?
Introth, I thinke thou would'ſt not.
Introth I thinke I ſhould, and vndoo't when I had done. Marry, I would not doe ſuch a thing for a ioynt Ring, nor for meaſures of Lawne, nor for Gownes, Petticoats, nor Caps, nor any petty exhibition. But for all the whole world: why, who would not make her hus
Why, the wrong is but a wrong i' th' world; and hauing the world for your labour, 'tis a wrong in your owne world, and you might quickly make it right.
I do not thinke there is any ſuch woman.
Be neere at hand, I may miſcarry in't.
Heere, at thy hand: Be bold, & take thy ſtand.
I know his gate, 'tis he: Villaine thou dyeſt.
Oh, I am ſlaine.
The voyce of Caſſio ▪ Iago keepes his word.
O Villaine that I am.
It is euen ſo.
Oh helpe hoa: Light, a Surgeon.
'Tis ſome miſchance, the voyce is very direfull.
Oh helpe.
Hearke.
Oh wretched Villaine.
Nobody come: then ſhall I bleed to death.
Hearke.
Here's one comes in his ſhirt, with Light, and Weapons.
We do not know.
Do not you heare a cry?
Heere, heere: for heauen ſake helpe me.
What's the matter?
This is Othello's Ancient, as I take it.
The ſame indeede, a very valiant Fellow.
What are you heere, that cry ſo greeuouſly?
O helpe me there.
That's one of them.
Oh murd'rous Slaue! O Villaine!
O damn'd Iago! O inhumane Dogge
As you ſhall proue vs, praiſe vs.
Signior Lodouico?
He Sir.
I cry you mercy: here's Caſſio hurt by Villaines.
Caſſio?
How is't Brother?
My Legge is cut in two.
What is the matter hoa? Who is't that cry'd?
Who is't that cry'd?
No.
Alas he faints. Oh Caſſio, Caſſio, Caſſio.
What, of Venice?
Euen he Sir: Did you know him?
Know him? I.
I am glad to ſee you.
How do you Caſſio? Oh
Rodorigo?
None in the world: nor do I know the man?
Alas good Gentleman: alas good Caſsio.
He ſupt at my houſe, but I therefore ſhake not.
O did he ſo? I charge you go with me.
Oh fie vpon thee Strumpet.
As I? Fie vpon thee.
Who's there? Othello?
I Deſdemona.
Will you come to bed, my Lord?
Haue you pray'd to night, Deſdemon?
I my Lord.
Talke you of killing?
I, I do.
Then Heauen haue mercy on mee.
Amen, with all my heart.
If you ſay, I hope you will not kill me.
Humh.
Thinke on thy ſinnes.
They are Loue
I, and for that thou dy'ſt.
Peace, and be ſtill.
I will ſo: What's the matter?
I, but not yet to dye.
O Heauen haue mercy on me.
I ſay, Amen.
He hath confeſt.
What, my Lord?
That he hath vs'd thee.
How? vnlawfully?
I.
He will not ſay ſo.
Oh, my feare interprets. What is he dead?
Alas, he is betray'd, and I vndone.
Out Strumpet: weep'ſt thou for him to my face?
O baniſh me, my Lord, but kill me not.
Downe Strumpet.
Kill me to morrow, let me liue to night.
Nay, if you ſtriue.
But halfe an houre.
Being done, there is no pawſe.
But while I ſay one prayer.
It is too late.
What hoa? my Lord, my Lord?
Who's there?
Oh good my Lord, I would ſpeake a word with you.
Oh my good Lord, yonders foule Murthers done.
What? now?
But now, my Lord.
Rodorigo kill'd? and Caſſio kill'd?
NoCaſſio is not kill'd.
O falſely, falſely murder'd.
Alas! what cry is that?
That? What?
A guiltleſſe death, I dye.
Oh who hath done this deed?
Why, how ſhould ſhe be murdred?
Alas: who knowes?
You heare her ſay her ſelfe, it was not I.
She ſaid ſo: I muſt needs report the truth.
Oh the more Angell ſhe, and you the black
She turn'd to folly: and ſhe was a whore.
Thou do'ſt bely her, and thou art a diuell.
She wa
My Husband?
Thy Husband.
That ſhe was falſe to Wedlocke?
My Husband?
My Husband?
Hah?
Peace, you were beſt.
What is the matter? How now Generall?
What is the matter?
I did.
Oh Heauens, foreſend.
And your reports haue ſet the Murder on.
'Tis a ſtrange Truth.
O monſtrous Acte.
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh Heauen! oh heauenly Powres!
Come, hold your peace.
Be wiſe, and get you home.
I will not.
Fye, your Sword vpon a Woman.
Villanous Whore.
Filth, thou lyeſt.
I, I: oh lay me by my Miſtris ſide.
Hee's gone, but his wife's kill'd.
What is the matter?
Where is this raſh, and moſt vnfortunate man?
That's he that was Othello: heere I am.
Wrench his Sword from him.
I bleed Sir, but not kill'd.
I.
Deere Generall, I neuer gaue you cauſe.
What? not to pray?
Torments will ope your lips.
Well, thou doſt beſt.
O Villaine!
Moſt Heatheniſh, and moſt groſſe.
O Foole, foole, foole!
Oh bloody period.
All that is ſpoke, is marr'd.
If it be Loue indeed, tell me how much.
There's beggery in the loue that can be reckon'd
Ile ſet a bourne how farre to be belou'd.
Then muſt thou needes finde our new Heauen, new Earth.
Newes (my good Lord) from Rome.
Grates me, the ſumme.
How, my Loue?
Heare the Ambaſſadors.
Is Caeſar with Anthonius priz'd ſo ſlight?
I am full ſorry, that hee approues the common Lyar, who thus ſpeakes of him at Rome; but I will hope of better deeds to morrow. Reſt you happy.
L. Alexas, ſweet Alexas, moſt any thing Alexas, almoſt moſt abſolute Alexas, where's the Soothſayer that you prais'd ſo to' th' Queene? Oh that I knewe this Husband, which you ſay, muſt change his Hornes with Garlands.
Soothſayer.
Your will?
Is this the Man? Is't you ſir that know things?
In Natures infinite booke of Secrecie, a little I can read.
Shew him your hand.
Good ſir, giue me good Fortune.
I make not, but foreſee.
Pray then, foreſee me one.
You ſhall be yet farre fairer then you are.
He meanes in fleſh.
No, you ſhall paint when you are old.
Wrinkles forbid.
Vex not his preſcience, be attentiue.
Huſh.
You ſhall be more belouing, then beloued.
I had rather heate my Liuer with drinking.
Nay, heare him.
Good now ſome excellent Fortune: Let mee be married to three Kings in a forenoone, and Widdow them all: Let me haue a Childe at fifty, to whom Herode of Iewry may do Homage. Finde me to marrie me with Octauius Caeſar, and companion me with my Miſtris.
You ſhall out-liue the Lady whom you ſerue.
Oh excellent, I loue long life better then Figs.
You haue ſeene and proued a fairer former for
If euery of your wiſhes had a wombe, & fore
Out Foole, I forgiue thee for a Witch.
You thinke none but your ſheets are priuie to your wiſhes.
Nay come, tell Iras hers.
Wee'l know all our Fortunes.
Mine, and moſt of our Fortunes to night, ſhall be drunke to bed.
There's a Palme preſages Chaſtity, if nothing els.
E'ne as the o're-flowing Nylus preſageth Fa
Go you wilde Bedfellow, you cannot Soothſay.
Nay, if an oyly Palme bee not a fruitfull Prog
Your Fortunes are alike.
But how, but how, giue me particulars.
I haue ſaid.
Am I not an inch of Fortune better then ſhe?
Well, if you were but an inch of fortune better then I: where would you chooſe it.
Not in my Husbands noſe.
Our worſer thoughts Heauens mend.
Come, his Fortune, his Fortune. Oh let him mary a woman that cannot go, ſweet Iſis, I beſeech thee, and let her dye too, and giue him a worſe, and let worſe follow worſe, till the worſt of all follow him laughing to his graue, fifty-fold a Cuckold. Good Iſis heare me this Prayer, though thou denie me a matter of more waight: good Iſis I beſeech thee.
Amen, deere Goddeſſe, heare that prayer of the people. For, as it is a heart-breaking to ſee a handſome man looſe-Wiu'd, ſo it is a deadly ſorrow, to beholde a foule Knaue vncuckolded: Therefore deere Iſis keep decorum, and Fortune him accordingly.
Amen.
Lo now, if it lay in their hands to make mee a Cuckold, they would make themſelues Whores, but they'ld doo't.
Huſh, heere comes Anthony.
Not he, the Queene.
Saue you, my Lord.
No Lady.
Was he not heere?
No Madam.
Madam.
Seeke him, and bring him hither: wher's Alexias?
Againſt my Brother Lucius?
Well, what worſt.
The Nature of bad newes infects the Teller.
Anthony thou would'ſt ſay.
Oh my Lord.
At your Noble pleaſure.
From Scicion how the newes? Speake there.
He ſtayes vpon your will.
Fuluia thy wife is dead.
Where dyed ſhe.
What's your pleaſure, Sir?
I muſt with haſte from hence.
Why then we kill all our Women. We ſee how mortall an vnkindneſſe is to them, if they ſuffer our de
I muſt be gone.
Vnder a compelling an occaſion, let women die. It were pitty to caſt them away for nothing, though beCleopatra catching but the leaſt noyſe of this,
She is cunning paſt mans thought.
Alacke Sir no, her paſſions are made of nothing but the fineſt part of pure Loue. We cannot cal her winds and waters, ſighes and teares: They are greater ſtormes and Tempeſts then Almanackes can report. This cannot be cunning in her; if it be, ſhe makes a ſhowre of Raine as well as Ioue.
Would I had neuer ſeene her.
Oh ſir, you had then left vnſeene a wonderfull peece of worke, which not to haue beene bleſt withall, would haue diſcredited your Trauaile.
Fuluia is dead.
Sir.
Fuluia is dead.
Fuluia?
Dead.
Why ſir, giue the Gods a thankefull Sacrifice: when it pleaſeth their Deities to take the wife of a man from him, it ſhewes to man the Tailors of the earth: comFuluia, then had you indeede a cut, and the caſe to be lamented: This greefe is crown'd with Conſo
And the buſineſſe you haue broach'd heere canCleopatra's, which wholly depends on your abode.
I ſhall doo't.
Where is he?
I did not ſee him ſince.
What ſhould I do, I do not?
In each thing giue him way, croſſe him in nothing.
Thou teacheſt like a foole: the way to loſe him.
I am ſicke, and ſullen.
I am ſorry to giue breathing to my purpoſe.
Now my deereſt Queene.
Pray you ſtand farther from mee.
What's the matter?
The Gods beſt know.
Cleopatra.
Moſt ſweet Queene.
How now Lady?
You'l heat my blood no more?
You can do better yet: but this is meetly.
Now by Sword.
Ile leaue you Lady.
Heere's more newes.
'Tis pitty of him.
Doubt not ſir, I knew it for my Bond.
Charmian.
Madam.
Ha, ha, giue me to drinke Mandragora.
Why Madam?
You thinke of him too much.
O 'tis Treaſon.
Madam, I truſt not ſo.
Thou, Eunuch Mardian?
What's your Highneſſe pleaſure?
Yes gracious Madam.
Indeed?
Soueraigne of Egypt, haile.
Mine eare muſt plucke it thence.
What was he ſad, or merry?
Who's borne that day, when I forget to ſend to Anthonie, ſhall dye a Begger. Inke and paper Charmian. Welcome my good
Oh that braue Caeſar!
The valiant Caeſar.
Know worthy Pompey, that what they do de
Whiles we are ſutors to their Throne, decayes the thing we ſue for.
Where haue you this? 'Tis falſe.
From Siluius, Sir.
'Tis not a time for priuate ſtomacking.
Euery time ſerues for the matter that is then borne in't.
But ſmall to greater matters muſt giue way.
Not if the ſmall come firſt.
And yonder Caeſar.
I do not know Mecenas, aske Agrippa.
Welcome to Rome.
Thanke you.
Sit.
Sit ſir.
Nay then.
My being in Egypt Caeſar, what was't to you?
How intend you, practis'd?
You praiſe your ſelfe, by laying defects of iudge
Would we had all ſuch wiues, that the men might go to Warres with the women.
You haue broken the Article of your oath, which you ſhall neuer haue tongue to charge me with.
Soft Caeſar.
To lend me Armes, and aide when I requir'd them, the which you both denied.
'Tis Noble ſpoken.
Worthily ſpoken Mecenas.
Or if you borrow one anothers Loue for the inſtant, you may when you heare no more words of Pompey returne it againe: you ſhall haue time to wrangle in, when you haue nothing elſe to do.
Thou art a Souldier, onely ſpeake no more.
That trueth ſhould be ſilent, I had almoſt for
You wrong this preſence, therefore ſpeake no more.
Go too then: your Conſiderate ſtone.
Giue me leaue Caeſar.
Speake Agrippa.
Say not, ſay Agrippa; if Cleopater heard you, your proofe were well deſerued of raſhneſſe.
I am not marryed Caeſar: let me heere Agrippa further ſpeake.
Will Caeſar ſpeake?
Happily, Amen.
Where lies he?
About the Mount-Meſena.
What is his ſtrength by land?
Let vs Lepidus not lacke your companie.
Noble Anthony, not ſickeneſſe ſhould detaine me.
Welcome from Aegypt Sir.
Halfe the heart of Caeſar, worthy Mecenas. My honourable Friend Agrippa.
Good Enobarbus.
We haue cauſe to be glad, that matters are ſo well diſgeſted: you ſtaid will by't in Egypt.
I Sir, we did ſleepe day out of countenaunce: and made the night light with drinking.
Eight Wilde-Boares roſted whole at a break
This was but as a Flye by an Eagle: we had much more monſtrous matter of Feaſt, which worthily deſer
She's a moſt triumphant Lady, if report be ſquare to her.
When ſhe firſt met Marke Anthony, ſhe purſt vp his heart vpon the Riuer of Sidnis.
There ſhe appear'd indeed: or my reporter de
Oh rare for Anthony.
Rare Egiptian.
Now Anthony, muſt leaue her vtterly.
Let vs go. Good Enobarbus, make your ſelfe my gueſt, whilſt you abide heere.
Humbly Sir I thanke you.
All which time, before the Gods my knee ſhall bowe my ptayers to them for you.
Goodnight.
Now ſirrah: you do wiſh your ſelfe in Egypt?
Would I had neuer come from thence, nor you thither.
If you can, your reaſon?
Say to me, whoſe Fortunes ſhall riſe higher Caeſars or mine?
Speake this no more.
Trouble your ſelues no further: pray you haſten your Generals after.
SirMarke Anthony, will e'ne but kiſſe Octauia, and weele follow.
We ſhall: as I conceiue the iourney, be at Mount before you Lepidus.
Your way is ſhorter, my purpoſes do draw me much about, you'le win two dayes vpon me.
Sir good ſucceſſe.
Farewell.
Giue me ſome Muſicke: Muſicke, moody foode of vs that trade in Loue.
The Muſicke, hoa.
Let it alone, let's to Billards: come Charmian.
My arme is ſore, beſt play with Mardian.
As well a woman with an Eunuch plaide, as with a woman. Come you'le play with me Sir?
As well as I can Madam.
'Twas merry when you wager'd on your Ang
Madam, Madam.
Firſt Madam, he is well.
Good Madam heare me.
Wilt pleaſe you heare me?
Madam, he's well.
Well ſaid.
And Friends with Caeſar.
Th' art an honeſt man.
Caeſar, and he, are greater Friends then euer.
Make thee a Fortune from me.
But yet Madam.
For what good turne?
For the beſt turne i' th' bed.
I am pale Charmian.
Madam, he's married to Octauia.
The moſt infectious Peſtilence vpon thee.
Good Madam patience.
He's married Madam.
Rogue, thou haſt liu'd too long.
He is afeard to come.
I haue done my duty.
He's married Madam.
Should I lye Madame?
I craue your Highneſſe pardon.
He is married?
Good your Highneſſe patience.
In prayſing Anthony, I haue diſprais'd Caeſar.
Many times Madam.
Take your time.
There's the point.
And what may follow to try a larger Fortune.
That's our offer.
Since I ſaw you laſt, ther's a change vpon you.
Well met heere.
That's the next to do.
That will I Pompey.
No Anthony take the lot: but firſt or laſt, your fine Egyptian cookerie ſhall haue the ſame, I haue heard that Iulius Caeſar, grew fat with feaſting there.
You haue heard much.
I haue faire meaning Sir.
And faire words to them.
No more that: he did ſo.
What I pray you?
A certaine Queene to Caeſar in a Matris.
I know thee now, how far'ſt thou Souldier?
Shew's the way, ſir.
Come.
Thy Father Pompey would ne're haue made this Treaty. You, and I haue knowne ſir.
At Sea, I thinke.
We haue Sir.
You haue done well by water.
And you by Land.
I will praiſe any man that will praiſe me, thogh it cannot be denied what I haue done by Land.
Nor what I haue done by water.
Yes ſome-thing you can deny for your owne ſafety: you haue bin a great Theefe by Sea.
And you by Land.
There I deny my Land ſeruice: but giue mee your hand Menas, if our eyes had authority, heere they might take two Theeues kiſſing.
All mens faces are true, whatſomere their hands are.
But there is neuer a fayre Woman, ha's a true Face.
No ſlander, they ſteale hearts.
We came hither to fight with you.
For my part, I am ſorry it is turn'd to a DrinkPompey doth this day laugh away his Fortune.
If he do, ſure he cannot weep't backe againe.
Y' haue ſaid Sir, we look'd not for Marke Anthony heere, pray you, is he married to
Caeſars Siſter is call'd Octauia.
True Sir, ſhe was the wife of Caius Marcellus.
But ſhe is now the wife of Marcus Anthonius.
Pray 'ye ſir.
'Tis true.
Then is Caeſar and he, for euer knit together.
If I were bound to Diuine of this vnity, I wold not Propheſie ſo.
I thinke the policy of that purpoſe, made more i
I thinke ſo too. But you ſhall finde the band that ſeemes to tye their friendſhip together, will bee the very ſtrangler of their Amity: Octauia is of a holy, cold, and ſtill conuerſation.
Who would not haue his wife ſo?
Not he that himſelfe is not ſo: which is Marke Anthony: he will to his Egyptian diſh againe: then ſhall the ſighes of Octauia blow the fire vp in Caeſar, and (as I ſaid before) that which is the ſtrength of their Amity, ſhall proue the immediate Author of their variance. Anthony will vſe his affection where it is. Hee married but his occaſion heere.
I ſhall take it ſir: we haue vs'd our Throats in Egypt.
Come, let's away.
Heere they'l be man: ſome o' th' their Plants are ill rooted already, the leaſt winde i' th' world wil blow them downe.
Lepidus is high Conlord.
They haue made him drinke Almes drinke.
As they pinch one another by the diſpoſition, hee cries out, no more; reconciles them to his entreatie, and himſelfe to' th' drinke.
But it raiſes the greatet warre betweene him & his diſcretion.
Why this it is to haue a name in great mens Fel
To be call'd into a huge Sphere, and not to be ſeene to moue in't, are the holes where eyes ſhould bee, which pittifully diſaſter the cheekes.
Y' haue ſtrange Serpents there?
I Lepidus.
Your Serpent of Egypt, is bred now of your mud by the operation of your Sun: ſo is your Crocodile.
They are ſo.
Sit, and ſome Wine: A health to Lepidus.
Not till you haue ſlept: I feare me you'l bee in till then.
Nay certainly, I haue heard the Ptolomies Pyra
Pompey, a word.
Say in mine eare, what is't.
What manner o' thing is your Crocodile?
It is ſhap'd ſir like it ſelfe, and it is as broad as it hath bredth; It is iuſt ſo high as it is, and mooues with it owne organs. It liues by that which nouriſheth it, and the Elements once out of it, it Tranſmigrates.
What colour is it of?
Of it owne colour too.
'Tis a ſtrange Serpent.
'Tis ſo, and the teares of it are wet.
Will this deſcription ſatisfie him?
With the Health that Pompey giues him, elſe he is a very Epicure.
I thinke th' art mad: the matter?
I haue euer held my cap off to thy Fortunes.
Thou haſt ſeru'd me with much faith: what's elſe to ſay? Be iolly Lords.
Wilt thou be Lord of all the world?
What ſaiſt thou?
How ſhould that be?
But entertaine it, and though thou thinke me poore. I am the man will giue thee all the world.
Haſt thou drunke well.
Shew me which way?
This health to Lepidus.
Heere's to thee Menas.
Enobarbus, welcome.
Fill till the cup be hid.
There's a ſtrong Fellow Menas.
Why?
A beares the third part of the world man: ſeeſt not?
The third part, then he is drunk: would it were all, that it might go on wheeles.
Drinke thou: encreaſe the Reeles.
Come.
This is not yet an Alexandrian Feaſt.
I could well forbear't, it's monſtrous labour when I waſh my braine, and it grow fouler.
Be a Child o' th' time.
Poſſeſſe it, Ile make anſwer: but I had rather faſt from all, foure dayes, then drinke ſo much in one.
Ha my braue Emperour, ſhall we daunce now the Egyptian Backenals, and celebrate our drinke?
Let's ha't good Souldier.
Ile try you on the ſhore.
And ſhall Sir, giues your hand.
Hoo ſaies a there's my Cap.
Hoa, Noble Captaine, come.
Thou haſt Ventidius that, without the which a Souldier and his Sword graunts ſcarce diſtinction: thou wilt write to Anthony.
Where is he now?
What are the Brothers parted?
'Tis a Noble Lepidus.
A very fine one: oh, how he loues Caeſar.
Nay but how deerely he adores Mark Anthony.
Caeſar? why he's the Iupiter of men.
What's Anthony, the God of Iupiter?
Spake you of Caeſar? How, the non-pareill?
Oh Anthony, oh thou Arabian Bird!
Would you praiſe Caeſar, ſay Caeſar go no further.
Indeed he plied them both with excellent praiſes.
Both he loues.
Good Fortune worthy Souldier, and farewell.
No further Sir.
Make me not offended, in your diſtruſt.
I haue ſaid.
My Noble Brother.
Sir
What Octauia?
Ile tell you in your eare.
Will Caeſar weepe?
He ha's a cloud in's face.
He were the worſe for that were he a Horſe, ſo is he being a
Adieu, be happy.
Farewell, farewell.
Farewell.
Where is the Fellow?
Halfe afeard to come.
Go too, go too: Come hither Sir.
Good Maieſtie: Herod of Iury dare not looke vpon you, but when you are well pleas'd.
That Herods head, Ile haue: but how? When Anthony is gone, through whom I might commaund it: Come thou neere.
Moſt gratious Maieſtie.
Did'ſt thou behold Octauia?
I dread Queene.
Where?
Madam in Rome, I lookt her in the face: and ſaw her led betweene her Brother, and Marke Anthony.
Is ſhe as tall as me?
She is not Madam.
Madam, I heard her ſpeake, ſhe is low voic'd.
That's not ſo good: he cannot like her long.
Like her? Oh Iſis: 'tis impoſſible.
Is this certaine?
Or I haue no obſeruance.
Three in Egypt cannot make better note.
Excellent.
Gueſſe at her yeares, I prythee.
Madam, ſhe was a widdow.
Widdow? Charmian, hearke.
And I do thinke ſhe's thirtie.
Bear'ſt thou her face in mind? is't long or round?
Round, euen to faultineſſe.
For the moſt part too, they are fooliſh that are ſo. Her haire what colour?
A proper man.
Nothing Madam.
The man hath ſeene ſome Maieſty, and ſhould know.
Hath he ſeene Maieſtie? Iſis elſe defend: and ſeruing you ſo long.
I haue one thing more to aske him yet good Charmian: but 'tis no matter, thou ſhalt bring him to me where I will write; all may be well enough.
I warrant you Madam.
How now Friend Eros?
Ther's ſtrange Newes come Sir.
What man?
Caeſar & Lepidus haue made warres vpon Pompey.
This is old, what is the ſucceſſe?
Caeſar hauing made vſe of him in the warres 'gainſt Pompey: preſently denied him riuality, would not let him partake in the glory of the action, and not reſting here, accuſes him of Letters he had formerly wrote to Pompey. Vpon his owne appeale ſeizes him, ſo the poore thir
Then would thou hadſt a paire of chaps no more, and throw betweene them all the food thou haſt, they'le grinde the other. Where's Anthony?
Our great Nauies rig'd.
'Twill be naught, but let it be: bring me to Anthony.
Come Sir,
This in the publike eye?
Let Rome be thus inform'd.
Who does he accuſe?
Sir, this ſhould be anſwer'd.
Hee'l neuer yeeld to that.
Nor muſt not then be yeelded to in this.
Haile Caeſar, and my LCaeſar.
That euer I ſhould call thee Caſt-away.
You haue not call'd me ſo, nor haue you cauſe.
Do not ſay ſo, my Lord.
My Lord, in Athens.
Welcome Lady.
Is it ſo ſir?
I will be euen with thee, doubt it not.
But why, why, why?
Well: is it, is it.
If not, denounc'd againſt vs, why ſhould not we be there in perſon.
Well, I could reply: if wee ſhould ſerue with Horſe and Mares together, the Horſe were meerly loſt: the Mares would beare a Soldiour and his Horſe.
What is't you ſay?
Nay I haue done, here comes the Emperor.
By Sea, what elſe?
Why will my Lord, do ſo?
For that he dares vs too't.
So hath my Lord, dar'd him to ſingle fight.
By Sea, by Sea.
Ile fight at Sea.
I haue ſixty Sailes, Caeſar none better.
The Newes is true, my Lord, he is deſcried, Caeſar ha's taken Toryne.
Well, well, away.
By Hercules I thinke I am i' th' right.
You keepe by Land the Legions and the Horſe whole, do you not?
Who's his Lieutenant, heare you?
They ſay, one Towrus.
Well, I know the man.
The Emperor cals Camidius.
Towrus?
My Lord.
Gods, & Goddeſſes, all the whol ſynod of them!
What's thy paſſion.
How appeares the Fight?
Alacke, alacke.
I, are you thereabouts? Why then goodnight indeede.
Toward Peloponneſus are they fled.
Fly? Not wee.
Nay gentle Madam, to him, comfort him.
Do moſt deere Queene.
Do, why, what elſe?
Let me ſit downe: Oh Iuno.
No, no, no, no, no.
See you heere, Sir?
Oh fie, fie, fie.
Madam.
Madam, oh good Empreſſe.
Sir, ſir.
Ah ſtand by.
The Queene my Lord, the Queene.
Well then, ſuſtaine me: Oh.
Sir, the Queene.
Oh my pardon.
Pardon, pardon.
Approach, and ſpeake.
Bee't ſo, declare thine office.
Fortune purſue thee.
Caeſar, I go.
Caeſar, I ſhall.
What ſhall we do, Enobarbus?
Thinke, and dye.
Is Anthony, or we in fault for this?
Prythee peace.
Is that his anſwer?
I my Lord.
He ſayes ſo.
That head my Lord?
A Meſſenger from Caeſar.
Caeſars will.
Heare it apart.
None but Friends: ſay boldly.
So haply are they Friends to Anthony.
Go on, right Royall.
Oh.
What's your name?
My name is Thidias.
Fauours? By Ioue that thunders. What art thou Fellow?
You will be whipt.
Marke Anthony.
Good my Lord.
Oh, is't come to this?
Wherefore is this?
Soundly, my Lord.
Cried he? and begg'd a Pardon?
He did aske fauour.
Haue you done yet?
I muſt ſtay his time?
Not know me yet?
Cold-hearted toward me?
That's my braue Lord.
We will yet do well.
Call all his Noble Captaines to my Lord.
He will not fight with me, Domitian?
No?
Why ſhould he not?
Ile ſtrike, and cry, Take all.
What meanes this?
The Gods forbid.
What does he meane?
To make his Followers weepe.
Brother, goodnight: to morrow is the day.
Nothing: what newes?
Belike 'tis but a Rumour, good night to you.
Well ſir, good night.
Souldiers, haue carefull Watch.
And you: Goodnight, goodnight.
'Tis a braue Army, and full of purpoſe.
Peace, what noiſe?
Liſt liſt.
Hearke.
Muſicke i' th' Ayre.
Vnder the earth.
It ſignes well, do's it not?
No.
Peace I ſay: What ſhould this meane?
How now Maiſters?
How now? how now do you heare this?
I, is't not ſtrange?
Do you heare Maſters? Do you heare?
Content: 'Tis ſtrange.
Eros, mine Armour Eros.
Sleepe a little.
Briefely Sir.
Is not this buckled well?
The Morne is faire: Good morrow Generall.
Good morrow Generall.
Pleaſe you retyre to your Chamber?
The Gods make this a happy day to Anthony.
Whoſe gone this morning?
What ſayeſt thou?
Sir he is with Caeſar.
Sir, his Cheſts and Treaſure he has not with him.
Is he gone?
Moſt certaine.
Caeſar, I ſhall.
Anthony is come into the Field.
I giue it you.
Thou bleed'ſt apace.
They do retyre.
Ile halt after.
This laſt day was a ſhrew'd one too's.
Oh beare me witneſſe night.
What man is this?
Stand cloſe, and liſt him.
Enobarbus?
Peace: Hearke further.
Let's ſpeake to him.
Let's do ſo, but he ſleepes.
Go we to him.
Awake ſir, awake, ſpeake to vs.
Heare you ſir?
Come on then, he may recouer yet.
For both, my Lord.
Why is my Lord enrag'd againſt his Loue?
Eros, thou yet behold'ſt me?
I Noble Lord.
I my Lord.
It does my Lord.
Dead then?
Dead.
What would my Lord?
I would not ſee't.
Oh ſir, pardon me.
Loe thee.
My ſword is drawne.
'Tis ſaid man, and farewell.
Farewell great Chiefe. Shall I ſtrike now?
Now Eros.
What's the noiſe?
The Starre is falne.
And time is at his Period.
Alas, and woe.
Let him that loues me, ſtrike me dead.
Not I.
Nor I.
Nor any one.
Where's Anthony?
There Diomed there.
Liues he: wilt thou not anſwer man?
When did ſhee ſend thee?
Now my Lord.
Where is ſhe?
Too late good Diomed: call my Guard I prythee.
Moſt heauy day.
Oh Charmian, I will neuer go from hence.
Be comforted deere Madam.
Oh quicke, or I am gone.
A heauy ſight.
They do not go together.
Oh quietneſſe, Lady.
She's dead too, our Soueraigne.
Lady.
Madam.
Oh Madam, Madam, Madam.
Royall Egypt: Empreſſe.
Peace, peace, Iras.
Caeſar, I ſhall.
What is't thou ſay'ſt?
I ſay (Oh Caeſar) Anthony is dead.
His taints and Honours, wag'd equal with him.
So the Gods preſerue thee.
Caeſar I ſhall.
Gallus, go you along: where's Dolabella, to ſeProculeius?
Dolabella.
What's thy name?
My name is Proculeius.
Royall Queene.
Oh Cleopatra, thou art taken Queene.
Quicke, quicke, good hands.
What of death too that rids our dogs of languiſh
Oh temperance Lady.
Say, I would dye.
Moſt Noble Empreſſe, you haue heard of me.
I cannot tell.
Aſſuredly you know me.
I vnderſtand not, Madam.
If it might pleaſe ye.
Moſt Soueraigne Creature.
Cleopatra.
Gentle Madam, no.
I am loath to tell you what, I would you knew.
Nay pray you ſir.
Though he be Honourable.
Hee'l leade me then in Triumph.
Madam he will, I know't.
Make way there Caeſar.
Which is the Queene of Egypt.
It is the Emperor Madam.
And may through all the world: tis yours, & we your Scutcheons, and your ſignes of Conqueſt ſhall Hang in what place you pleaſe. Here my good Lord.
You ſhall aduiſe me in all for Cleopatra.
Heere Madam.
What haue I kept backe.
Enough to purchaſe what you haue made known
Good Queene, let vs intreat you.
Forbeare Seleucus.
My Maſter, and my Lord.
Not ſo: Adieu.
Madam, I will.
Where's the Queene?
Behold ſir.
Dolabella.
Dolabella, I ſhall remaine your debter.
The Gods forbid.
O the good Gods!
Nay that's certaine.
This is the man.
Truly I haue him: but I would not be the par
Remember'ſt thou any that haue dyed on't?
Very many, men and women too. I heard of one of them no longer then yeſterday, a very honeſt wo
Get thee hence, farewell.
I wiſh you all ioy of the Worme.
Farewell.
You muſt thinke this (looke you,) that the Worme will do his kinde.
I, I, farewell.
Looke you, the Worme is not to bee truſted, but in the keeping of wiſe people: for indeede, there is no goodneſſe in the Worme.
Take thou no care, it ſhall be heeded.
Very good: giue it nothing I pray you, for it is not worth the feeding.
Will it eate me?
You muſt not think I am ſo ſimple, but I know the diuell himſelfe will not eate a woman: I know, that a woman is a diſh for the Gods, if the diuell dreſſe her not. But truly, theſe ſame whorſon diuels doe the Gods great harme in their women: for in euery tenne that they make, the diuels marre fiue.
Well, get thee gone, farewell.
Yes forſooth: I wiſh you ioy o' th' worm.
Oh Eaſterne Starre.
O breake! O breake!
Where's the Queene?
Speake ſoftly, wake her not.
Caeſar hath ſent
There's Dolabella ſent from Caeſar: call him.
How goes it heere?
All dead.
A way there, a way for Caeſar.
Who was laſt with them?
Poyſon'd then.
But what's the matter?
None but the King?
And why ſo?
You ſpeake him farre.
What's his name, and Birth?
How long is this ago?
Some twenty yeares.
I do well beleeue you.
Alacke, the King.
Paſt Grace? Obedience?
Paſt hope, and in diſpaire, that way paſt Grace.
No, I rather added a luſtre to it.
O thou vilde one!
My Lord your Sonne, drew on my Maſter.
I am very glad on't.
I humbly thanke your Highneſſe.
Pray walke a-while.
Sir, I would aduiſe you to ſhift a Shirt; the Vio
No faith: not ſo much as his patience.
Hurt him: His bodie's a paſſable Carkaſſe if he bee not hurt. It is a through-fare for Steele if it be not hurt.
His Steele was in debt, it went o' th' Backe-ſide the Towne.
The Villaine would not ſtand me.
No, but he fled forward ſtill, toward your face.
As many Inches, as you haue Oceans (Puppies.)
I would they had not come betweene vs.
So would I, till you had meaſur'd how long a Foole you were vpon the ground.
And that ſhee ſhould loue this Fellow, and re
If it be a ſin to make a true election, ſhe is damn'd.
Sir, as I told you alwayes: her Beauty & her Braine go not together. Shee's a good ſigne, but I haue ſeene ſmall reflection of her wit.
Come, Ile to my Chamber: would there had beene ſome hurt done.
I wiſh not ſo, vnleſſe it had bin the fall of an Aſſe, which is no great hurt.
You'l go with vs?
Ile attend your Lordſhip.
Nay come, let's go together.
Well my Lord.
It was his Queene, his Queene.
Then wau'd his Handkerchiefe?
And kiſt it, Madam.
Madam, ſo I did.
Madam, I ſhall.
Beleeue it Sir, I haue ſeene him in Britaine; hee was then of a Creſſent note, expected to proue ſo woor
You ſpeake of him when he was leſſe furniſh'd, then now hee is, with that which makes him both with
I haue ſeene him in France: wee had very ma
This matter of marrying his Kings Daughter, wherein he muſt be weighed rather by her valew, then his owne, words him (I doubt not) a great deale from the matter.
And then his baniſhment.
I, and the approbation of thoſe that weepe this lamentable diuorce vnder her colours, are wonderfully
His Father and I were Souldiers together, to whom I haue bin often bound for no leſſe then my life.
Heere comes the Britaine. Let him be ſo entertained a
Sir, we haue knowne togither in Orleance.
Since when, I haue bin debtor to you for courte
Sir, you o're-rate my poore kindneſſe, I was glad I did attone my Countryman and you: it had beene pitty you ſhould haue beene put together, with ſo mor
By your pardon Sir, I was then a young Trauel
Faith yes, to be put to the arbiterment of Swords, and by ſuch two, that would by all likelyhood haue confounded one the other, or haue falne both.
Can we with manners, aske what was the dif
Safely, I thinke, 'twas a contention in pub
That Lady is not now liuing; or this Gentle
She holds her Vertue ſtill, and I my mind.
You muſt not ſo farre preferre her, 'fore ours of Italy.
Being ſo farre prouok'd as I was in France: I would abate her nothing, though I profeſſe my ſelfe her Adorer, not her Friend.
As faire, and as good: a kind of hand in hand compariſon, had beene ſomething too faire, and too good for any Lady in Britanie; if ſhe went before others. I haue ſeene as that Diamond of yours out-luſters many I haue beheld, I could not beleeue ſhe excelled many: but I haue not ſeene the moſt pretious Diamond that is, nor you the Lady.
I prais'd her, as I rated her: ſo do I my Stone.
What do you eſteeme it at?
More then the world enioyes.
Either your vnparagon'd Miſtirs is dead, or ſhe's out-priz'd by a trifle.
You are miſtaken: the one may be ſolde or gi
Which the Gods haue giuen you?
Which by their Graces I will keepe.
You may weare her in title yours: but you know ſtrange Fowle light vpon neighbouring Ponds. Your Ring may be ſtolne too, ſo your brace of vnprizea
Your Italy, containes none ſo accompliſh'd a Courtier to conuince the Honour of my Miſtris: if in the holding or loſſe of that, you terme her fraile, I do no
Let vs leaue heere, Gentlemen?
Sir, with all my heart. This worthy Signior I thanke him, makes no ſtranger of me, we are familiar at firſt.
With fiue times ſo much conuerſation, I ſhould get ground of your faire Miſtris; make her go backe, e
No, no.
I dare thereupon pawne the moytie of my E
You are a great deale abus'd in too bold a per
What's that?
A Repulſe though your Attempt (as you call it) deſerue more; a puniſhment too.
Gentlemen enough of this, it came in too ſo
Would I had put my Eſtate, and my Neighbors on th' approbation of what I haue ſpoke,
What Lady would you chuſe to aſſaile?
Yours, whom in conſtancie you thinke ſtands ſo ſafe. I will lay you ten thouſands Duckets to your Ring, that commend me to the Court where your La
I will wage againſt your Gold, Gold to it: My Ring I holde deere as my finger, 'tis part of it.
You are a Friend, and there in the wiſer: if you buy Ladies fleſh at a Million a Dram, you cannot pre
This is but a cuſtome in your tongue: you beare a grauer purpoſe I hope.
I am the Maſter of my ſpeeches, and would vn
Will you? I ſhall but lend my Diamond till your returne: let there be Couenants drawne between's. My Miſtris exceedes in goodneſſe, the hugeneſſe of your vnworthy thinking
I will haue it no lay.
By the Gods it is one: if I bring you no ſuffi
I embrace theſe Conditions, let vs haue Articles betwixt vs: onely thus farre you ſhall anſwere, if you make your voyage vpon her, and giue me directly to vn
Your hand, a Couenant: wee will haue theſe things ſet downe be lawfull Counſell, and ſtraight away for Britaine, leaſt the Bargaine ſhould catch colde, and ſterue: I will fetch my Gold, and haue our two Wagers recorded.
Agreed.
Will this hold, thinke you.
I Madam.
Hearke thee, a word.
I humbly take my leaue.
He is one of the Nobleſt note, to whoſe kindneſſes I am moſt infinitely tied. Reflect vpon him accordingly, as you value your truſt.
What makes your admiration?
What is the matter trow?
Well, Madam.
Is he diſpos'd to mirth? I hope he is.
Will my Lord ſay ſo?
Not he I hope.
What do you pitty Sir?
Two Creatures heartyly.
Let me heare no more.
What hoa, Piſanio?
Let me my ſeruice tender on your lippes.
You make amends.
Pray what is't?
O no, no.
Was there euer man had ſuch Iucke? when I kiſt the Iacke vpon an vp-caſt, to be hit away? I had a hun
What got he by that? you haue broke his pate with your Bowle.
If his wit had bin like him that broke it: it would haue run all out.
When a Gentleman is diſpos'd to ſweare: it is not for any ſtanders by to curtall his oathes. Ha?
No my Lord; nor crop the eares of them.
Whorſon dog: I gaue him ſatisfaction? would he had bin one of my Ranke.
To haue ſmell'd like a Foole.
I am not vext more at any thing in th' earth: a pox on't. I had rather not be ſo Noble as I am: they dare not fight with me, becauſe of the Queene my Mo
Sayeſt thou?
No, I know that: but it is fit I ſhould commit offence to my inferiors.
I, it is fit for your Lordſhip onely.
Why ſo I ſay.
Did you heere of a Stranger that's come to Court night?
A Stranger, and I not know on't?
He's a ſtrange Fellow himſelfe, and knowes it not.
There's an Italian come, and 'tis thought one of Leonatus Friends.
Leonatus? A baniſht Raſcall; and he's another, whatſoeuer he be. Who told you of this Stranger?
One of your Lordſhips Pages.
Is it fit I went to looke vpon him? Is there no de
You cannot derogate my Lord.
Not eaſily I thinke.
You are a Foole graunted, therefore your Iſſues being fooliſh do not derogate.
Come, Ile go ſee this Italian: what I haue loſt to day at Bowles, Ile winne to night of him. Come: go.
Who's there? My woman: Helene?
Pleaſe you Madam.
What houe is it?
Almoſt midnight, Madam.
Your Lordſhip is the moſt patient man in loſſe, the moſt coldeſt that euer turn'd vp Ace.
It would make any man cold to looſe.
But not euery man patient after the noble temper of your Lordſhip; You are moſt hot, and furious when you winne.
Winning will put any man into courage: if I could get this fooliſh Imogen, I ſhould haue Gold enough: it's al
Day, my Lord.
I would this Muſicke would come: I am adui
Come on, tune: If you can penetrate her with your fin
So, get you gone: if this pen
Heere comes the King.
I am glad I was vp ſo late, for that's the reaſon I was vp ſo earely: he cannot chooſe but take this Ser
I haue aſſayl'd her with Muſickes, but ſhe vouch
Senſeleſſe? Not ſo.
Who's there that knockes?
A Gentleman.
No more.
Yes, and a Gentlewomans Sonne.
Your Ladies perſon, is ſhe ready?
I, to keepe her Chamber.
Good morrow faireſt, Siſter your ſweet hand.
Still I ſweare
This is no anſwer.
Fooles are not mad Folkes.
Do you call me Foole?
The South-Fog rot him.
His Garments? Now the diuell.
To Dorothy my woman hie thee preſently.
His Garment?
'Twill not be loſt.
I hope ſo: go and ſearch.
I will enforme your Father.
What meanes do you make to him?
See Iachimo.
Welcome Sir.
Heere are Letters for you.
Their tenure good I truſt.
'Tis very like.
The Stones too hard to come by.
Proceed.
She writes ſo to you? doth ſhee?
By Iupiter, I had it from her Arme.
Will you heare more?
Ile be ſworne.
Ile deny nothing.
With all my heart.
Now ſay, what would Auguſtus Caeſar with vs?
Come, there's no more Tribute to be paid: our Kingdome is ſtronger then it was at that time: and (as I ſaid) there is no mo ſuch Caeſars, other of them may haue crook'd Noſes, but to owe ſuch ſtraite Armes, none.
Son, let your Mother end.
We haue yet many among vs, can gripe as hard as Caſſibulan, I doe not ſay I am one: but I haue a hand. Why Tribute? Why ſhould we pay Tribute? If Caeſar can hide the Sun from vs with a Blanket, or put the Moon in his pocket, we will pay him Tribute for light: elſe Sir, no more Tribute, pray you now.
Let proofe ſpeake.
His Maieſty biddes you welcome. Make pa
So ſir.
How now Piſanio?
Madam, heere is a Letter from my Lord.
IVſtice, and your Fathers wrath (ſhould he take me in his Dominion) could not be ſo cruell to me, as you: (oh the deerest of Creatures) would euen renew me with your eyes. Take notic
Cambria
Madam, you're beſt conſider.
Haile Heauen.
Haile Heauen.
Vncertaine fauour.
THy Miſtris (Piſanio) hath plaide the Strumpet in my Bed: the Teſtimonies whereof, lyes bleeding in me. I ſpeak not out of weake Surmiſes, but from proofe as ſtrong as my greefe, and as certaine as I expect my Reuenge. Th
• , thou (Piſanio) muſt acte for me, if thy Faith be not tainted with the breach of hers; let thine owne hands take away her life: I ſhall giue thee opportunity at Milford Hauen. She hath my Letter for the purpoſe; where, if thou feare to ſtrike, and to make mee certaine it is done, thou art the Pander to her diſhonour, and equally to me diſloyall. 〈◊〉
Alas good Lady.
Good Madam, heare me.
Doo't, and to bed then.
Ile wake mine eye-balles firſt.
Some Roman Curtezan?
If you'l backe to' th' Court.
Amen: I thanke thee.
Thus farre, and ſo fare well.
Your hand, my Lord.
Sonne, I ſay, follow the King.
Oh, good my Lord.
Oh, my all-worthy Lord.
Humh.
Sirra, is this Letter true?
Sir, as I thinke.
It is Poſthumus hand, I know't. Sirrah, if thou would'ſt not be a Villain, but do me true ſeruice: vnder
Well, my good Lord.
Wilt thou ſerue mee? For ſince patiently and conſtantly thou haſt ſtucke to the bare Fortune of that Begger Poſthumus, thou canſt not in the courſe of grati
Sir, I will.
Giue mee thy hand, heere's my purſe. Haſt any of thy late Maſters Garments in thy poſſeſſion?
I haue (my Lord) at my Lodging, the ſame Suite he wore, when he tooke leaue of my Ladie & Mi
The firſt ſeruice thou doſt mee, fetch that Suite hither, let it be thy firſt ſeruice, go.
I ſhall my Lord.
Meet thee at Milford-Hauen: (I forgot to aske him one thing, Ile remember't anon:) euen there, thou villaine Poſthumus will I kill thee. I would theſe GarPoſthumus, in more reſpect, then my Noble and naturall perſon; together with the adornement of my Qualities. With that Suite vpon my backe wil I ra
Be thoſe the Garments?
I, my Noble Lord.
How long is't ſince ſhe went to Milford-Hauen?
She can ſcarſe be there yet.
Bring this Apparrell to my Chamber, that is the ſecond thing that I haue commanded thee. The third is, that thou wilt be a voluntarie Mute to my deſigne. Be but dutious, and true preferment ſhall render it ſelfe to thee. My Reuenge is now at Milford, would I had wings to follow it. Come, and be true.
I am throughly weary.
I am weake with toyle, yet ſtrong in appetite.
What's the matter, Sir?
Money? Youth.
Whether bound?
To Milford-Hauen.
What's your name?
He wrings at ſome diſtreſſe.
Would I could free't.
Hearke Boyes.
Pray draw neere.
Thankes Sir.
I pray draw neere.
Is Lucius Generall of the Forces?
I.
Remaining now in Gallia?
We will diſcharge our duty.
I am neere to' th' place where they ſhould meet, if Piſanio haue mapp'd it truely. How fit his Garments ſerue me? Why ſhould his Miſtris who was made by him
Poſthumus, thy head (which now is growing vppon thy ſhoulders) ſhall within this houre be off, thy Miſtris in
Go you to Hunting, Ile abide with him.
What? How? how?
Brother, farewell.
I wiſh ye ſport.
You health.—So pleaſe you Sir.
Wee'l not be long away.
How Angell-like he ſings?
But his neate Cookerie?
It is great morning. Come away: Who's there?
What's thy name?
Cloten, thou Villaine.
Art not afeard?
No Companie's abroad?
None in the world: you did miſtake him ſure.
What haſt thou done?
We are all vndone.
Is he at home?
He went hence euen now.
Where?
Say, where ſhall's lay him?
By good Euriphile, our Mother.
Wee'l ſpeake it then.
'Tis true.
Come on then, and remoue him.
So, begin.
SONG.Guid. Feare no more the heate o' th' Sun, Nor the furious Winters rages, Thou thy worldly task haſt don, Home art gon, and tane thy wages. Golden Lads, and Girles all muſt, As Chimney-Sweepers come to duſt. Arui. Feare no more the frowne o' th' Great, Thou art paſt the Tirants ſtroake, Care no more to cloath and eate, To thee the Reede is as the Oake: The Scepter, Learning, Phyſicke muſt, All follow this and come to duſt. Guid. Feare no more the Lightning flaſh.
Arui. Nor th' all-dreaded Thunderſtone.
Gui. Feare not Slander, Cenſure raſh.
Arui. Thou haſt finiſh'd Ioy and m
ne. • Both. All Louers young, all Louers muſt, Conſigne to thee and come to duſt. Guid. No Exorciſ
r harme thee, • Arui. Nor no witch-craft charme thee.
Guid. Ghoſt vnlaid forbeare thee.
Arui. Nothing ill come neere thee.
Both. Quiet conſumation haue, And renowned be thy graue.
But what from Rome?
When expect you them?
With the next benefit o' th' winde.
Hee's aliue my Lord.
Thy name?
Fidele Sir.
The noyſe is round about vs.
Let vs from it.
So ſay I, Amen.
Stand, ſtand, and fight.
'Tis their freſh ſupplies.
Cam'ſt thou from where they made the ſtand?
I did.
Where was this Lane?
Nay, be not angry Sir.
Farewell, you're angry.
I, or a ſtomacke.
Since (Iupiter) our Son is good, take off his miſeries.
Helpe (Iupiter) or we appeale, and from thy iuſtice flye.
Thankes Iupiter.
WHen as a Lyons whelpe, ſhall to himſelfe vnknown, with
out ſeeking finde, and bee embrac'd by a peece of tender Ayre: And when from a ſtately Cedar ſhall be lopt branches, which being dead many yeares, ſhall after reuiue, bee ioynted to the old Stocke, and freſhly grow, then ſhall Poſthumus end his miſeries, Britaine be fortunate, and flouriſh in Peace and Plen tie.
Come Sir, are you ready for death?
Ouer-roaſted rather: ready long ago.
Hanging is the word, Sir, if you bee readie for that, you are well Cook'd.
So if I proue a good repaſt to the Spectators, the diſh payes the ſhot.
A heauy reckoning for you Sir: But the comfort is you ſhall be called to no more payments, fear no more Tauerne Bils, which are often the ſadneſſe of parting, as the procuring of mirth: you come in faint for want of meate, depart reeling with too much drinke: ſorrie that you haue payed too much, and ſorry that you are payed too much: Purſe and Braine, both empty: the Brain the heauier, for being too light; the Purſe too light, being drawne of heauineſſe. Oh, of this contradiction you ſhall now be quit: Oh the charity of a penny Cord, it ſummes vp thouſands in a trice: you haue no true Debitor, and Creditor but it: of what's paſt, is, and to come, the diſ
I am merrier to dye, then thou art to liue.
Indeed Sir, he that ſleepes, feeles not the Tooth-Ache: but a man that were to ſleepe your ſleepe, and a Hangman to helpe him to bed, I think he would change places with his Officer: for, look you Sir, you know not which way you ſhall go.
Yes indeed do I, fellow.
Your death has eyes in's head then: I haue not ſeene him ſo pictur'd: you muſt either bee directed by ſome that take vpon them to know, or to take vpon your ſelfe that which I am ſure you do not know:
I tell thee, Fellow, there are none want eyes, to direct them the way I am going, but ſuch as winke, and will not vſe them.
What an infinite mocke is this, that a man ſhold haue the beſt vſe of eyes, to ſee the way of blindneſſe: I am ſure hanging's the way of winking.
Knocke off his Manacles, bring your Priſoner to the King.
Thou bring'ſt good newes, I am call'd to bee made free.
Ile be hang'd then.
Thou ſhalt be then freer then a Gaoler; no bolt,
Vnleſſe a man would marry a Gallowes, & be
No tydings of him?
Prythee ſay.
Heard you all this, her Women?
We did, ſo pleaſe your Highneſſe.
I humbly thanke your Highneſſe.
Wherefore ey'ſt him ſo?
Fidele Sir.
Is not this Boy reuiu'd from death?
The ſame dead thing aliue.
But we ſee him dead.
Be ſilent: let's ſee further.
What's that to him?
How? me?
All that belongs to this.
I ſtand on fire. Come to the matter.
Nay, nay, to' th' purpoſe.
Peace my Lord, heare, heare.
Does the world go round?
How comes theſe ſtaggers on mee?
Wake my Miſtris.
How fares my Miſtris?
The tune of Imogen.
New matter ſtill.
It poyſon'd me.
What's this, Cornelius?
Moſt like I did, for I was dead.
My Boyes, there was our error.
This is ſure Fidele.
Your bleſſing, Sir.
I am ſorry for't, my Lord.
Let me end the Story: I ſlew him there.
I haue ſpoke it, and I did it.
He was a Prince.
That headleſſe man I thought had bin my Lord
In that he ſpake too farre.
And thou ſhalt dye for't.
Your danger's ours.
And our good his.
What of him? He is a baniſh'd Traitor.
Nurſing of my Sonnes?
How? my Iſſue.
Did you ere meete?
I my good Lord.
By the Queenes Dramme ſhe ſwallow'd.
My good Maſter, I will yet do you ſeruice.
Happy be you.
Philarmonus.
Heere, my good Lord.
WHen as a Lyons whelpe, ſhall to himſelfe vnknown, with
out ſeeking finde, and bee embrac'd by a peece of tender Ayre: And when from a ſtately Cedar ſhall be lopt branches, which being dead many yeares, ſhall after reuiue, bee ioynted to the old Stocke, and freſhly grow, then ſhall Poſthumus end his miſeries, Britaine be fortunate, and flouriſh in Peace and Plen tie.
This hath ſome ſeeming.
Printed at the Charges of W. Jaggard, Ed. Blount, I. Smithweeke, and W. Aſpley, 1623.