SIrrah Raph, my yong Mistrisse is in such a pittifull passionate humor for the long absence of her loue,

Why can you blame her, why, apples hanging longer on the tree then when they are ripe, makes so many fallings. viz Madde wenches because they are not gathered in time, are faine to drop of them selues, and then tis Common you know for euery man to take em vp.

Mass thou saiest true, Tis common indeede, but sirah, is neither our young maister returned, nor our fellow Sam come from London?

Boy look you walk my horse with discretion, I haue rid him simply, I warrand his skin sticks to his back with very heate, if a should catch cold & get the Cough of the Lunges I were well serued, were I not? What Raph and Oliuer.

Honest fellow Sam welcome yfaith, what tricks hast thou brought from London.

You see I am hangd after the truest fashion, three hats, and two glasses, bobbing vpon em, two rebato wyers vpon my brest, a capcase by my side, a brush at my back, an Almanack in my pocket, & three ballats in my Codpeece, naie I am the true picture of a Common seruingman.

Ile sweare thou art, Thou maist set vp when thou wilt, Ther's many a one begins with lesse I can tel thee that proues a rich man ere he dyes, but whats the news from London Sam.

Why? the more foole shee, I, the more ninny hammer shee.

Why Sam why?

Why hees married to another Long agoe▪

I faith ye I est.

Why, did you not know that till now? why, hees married, beates his wife, and has two or three children by her: for you must note that any woman beares the more when she is beaten.

I thats true for shee beares the blowes.

And I think she was blest in her Cradle, that he neuer came in her bed, why hee has consumed al, pawnd his lands, and made his vniuersitie brother stand in waxe for him, Thers a fine phrase for a scriuener, puh he owes more then his skins worth.

Is't possible.

Nay Ile tell you moreouer he calls his wife whore as familiarly as one would cal Mal & Dol, and his children bastards as naturally as can bee, but what haue we heere, I thought twas somwhat puld downe my breeches: I quite forgot my two potingsticks, these came from London, now any thing is good heer that comes from London.

I, farre fetcht you know:

But speak in your conscience yfaith, haue not we as good potingsticks ith Cuntry as need to be put ith fire, The mind of a thing is all, The mind of a thing's all, and as thou saidst eene now, farre fetcht is the best thinges for Ladies.

I, and for waiting gentle women to.

But Ralph, what, is our beer sower this thunder?

No no it holds countenance yet.

Why then follow me, Ile teach you the finest humor to be drunk in, I learnd it at London last week.

I faith lets heare it, lets heare it.

The brauest humor, twold do a man good to bee drunck in't, they call it knighting in London, when they drink vpon their knees.

If mariage be honourable, then Cuckolds are honourable, for they cannot be made without marriage.

Foole: what meant I to marry to get beggars? now must my eldest sonne be a knaue or nothing, he cannot liue vppot'h foole, for he wil haue no land to maintaine him: that morgage sits like a snaffle vpon mine inheritance, and makes me chaw vpon Iron. My second sonne must be a promooter, and my third a theefe, or an vnderputter, a slaue pander.

Speedily, speedily, I hate the very howre I chose a wife a trouble trouble, three children like three euils hang vpon me, fie, fie, fie, strumpet, & bastards, strumpet and bastards.

How now sirra what wud you,

Only to certifie you sir, that my mistris was met by the way, by thē who were sent for her vp to Londō by her honorable vnkle, your worships late gardian.

So sir, then she is gon and so may you be:

But let her looke that the thing be done she wots of: or hel wil stand more pleasāt thē her house at home.

Now, are you come, wher's the mony, lets see the mony, is the rubbish sold, those wiseakers your lands, why when, the mony, where ist, powr't down, down with it, downe with it, I say powr't oth ground lets see't, lets see't.

Please you draw neer sir, y'are exceeding welcome.

Thats my doubt, I fear, I come not to be welcome.

yes howsoeuer.

Tis not my fashion Sir to dwell in long circū stance, but to be plain, and effectuall, therefore to the purpose.

The cause of my setting forth was pittious and la:+mentable, that hopefull young gentleman your brother, whose vertues we all loue deerelie through your default, and vnnaturall negligence lies in bond executed for your debt, a prisoner all, his studies amazed his hope strook dead, and the pride of his youth muffled in theis dark clowds of oppression.

Hum, vm vm.

Oh, you haue kild the towardest hope of all our vniuesitie: wherefore without repentance and amends, expect pandorus and suddain Iudgements to fall grieuosly vpon you, your brother a man who profited in his diuine Imployments mighte haue made ten thousand soules fit for heauen, now by your carelesse courses caste in prison which you must answere for, and assure your spirit it wil come home at length.

Oh god oh.

Wisemen think ill of you, others speake ill of you, no man loues you, nay euen those whome honesty condemnes, condemne you: and take this from the vertuous affection I beare your brother, neuer looke for prosperous hower, good thought, quiet sleepes, contented walkes, nor anything that makes man perfect til you redeem him, what is your ans ••• how will yov bestow him, vpon desperate mi ••• ye, or better hopes? I suffer, till I heare your answer.

Sir you haue much wrought with mee, I feele you in my soule, you are your artes master. I neuer had sence til now; your sillables haue cleft me Both for your words and pains I thank you: I cannot but acknowledge grieuous wronges done to my brother, mighty, mighty, mighty wrongs. Within there,

Fil me a bowle of wine. Alas poore brother, Brus'd with an execution for my sake Exit seruant for wine.

Good sir in that, the Angells would be pleasd, And the worlds murmures calmd, and I should saye I set forth then vpon a lucky daie. Exit.

Oh thou confused man, thy pleasant sins haue 〈◊〉 hee thy damnation has beggerd thee, that heauen should say we must not sin, and yet made women: giues our sences waie to finde pleasure, which being found confounds vs, why shold we know those things so m • ch misuse vs—oh would vertue had been forbidden, wee should then haue prooued all vertuous, for tis our bloude to loue what we are forbidden, had not drunkennes byn forbidden what man wold haue been foole to a beast, and Zany to a swine to show tricks in the mire, what is there in three dice to make a man draw thrice three thousand acres into the compasse of a round little table, & with the gentlemans palsy in the hand shake out his posteritie, thieues or beggars: tis done, I ha don't yfaith: terrible horrible misery.—how well was I left, very well, very wel.

My Lands shewed like a full moone about mee, but nowe the moon's ith last quarter, wayning, waining, And I am mad to think that moone was mine: Mine and my fathers, and my forefathers generations, generations: downe goes the howse of vs, down, downe; it sincks: Now is the name a beggar, begs in me that name which hundreds of yeeres has made this shiere famous: in me, and my posterity runs out.

In my seede fiue are made miserable besides my selfe, my ryot is now my brothers iaylor, my wiues sighing, my three boyes penurie, and mine own confusion: Teares his haire▪

Who in this case would not take vp mony vpon his soule, pawn his saluation, liue at interest:

What aile you father, are you not well, I cannot scourge my top as long as you stand so: you take vp all the roome with your wide legs, puh you cannot make mee afeard with this, I feare no vizards, nor bugbeares.

Vp sir, for heer thou hast no inheritance left.

Oh what will you do father, I am your white boie.

Thou shalt be my red boie, take that. strikes him

Oh you hurt me father.

My eldest beggar: thou shalt not liue to aske an vsurer bread, to crie at a great mans gate, or followe good your honour by a Couch, no, nor your brother 〈◊〉 • harity to braine you.

How shall I learne now my heads broke?