Subject: Midwelt USA

From: "Oh Well" <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 04:17:11 -0500

Picked this up in a newsletter

     IN AN EFFORT TO HELP OUTSIDERS UNDERSTAND THE MIDWEST UNITED
     STATES, THE FOLLOWING LIST WILL BE HANDED TO EACH DRIVER
     ENTERING THE AREA:

     1. That farm boy standing next to the feed bin did more work
     before breakfast than you do all week at the gym.
     2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter how slow you drive,
     you're going to get dust on your SUV. I have a four-wheel drive
     because I need it. Drive it or get it out of the way.
     3. We all started hunting and fishing when we were seven years
     old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it.
     4. Any references to "corn fed" when talking about our women
     will get you whipped... by our women.
     5. Go ahead and bring your $600 Orvis Fly Rod. Don't cry to us
     if a flathead catfish breaks it off at the handle. We have a
     name for those little trout you fish for...bait.
     6. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot.
     7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of mallards are
     making approach, we will shoot it. You might hope you don't
     have it up to your ear at the time.
     8. That's right. Whiskey is only two bucks. We can buy a fifth
     for what you paid in the airport for one drink.
     9. No, there's no "Vegetarian Special" on the menu. Order a
     steak. Order it rare. Or, you can order the Chef's Salad and
     pick off the two pounds of ham and turkey.
     10. You can bring Coke into my house but it better be brown,
     wet, and served over ice.
     11. So you have a sixty-thousand dollar car you drive on
     weekends. We're real impressed. We have quarter of a million
     dollar combines that we use two weeks a year.
     12. Let's get this straight. We have one stoplight in town. We
     stop when it's red. We may even stop when it's yellow.
     13. Our women hunt, fish, and drive trucks - because they want
     to. So, you're a feminist. Isn't that cute.
     14. Yeah, we eat catfish. Carp, too - and turtle. You really
     want sushi and caviar? It's available at the bait shop.
     15. They are pigs. That's what they smell like. Get over it.
     Don't like it? Interstate 70, 80 & 90 go two ways. Interstate
     29, 35, & 75 go the other two. Pick one and use it accordingly.
     16. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a
     religious holiday. You can get breakfast at the church.
     17. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being
     friendly. Understand the concept?
     18. Yeah, we have golf courses. Don't hit the ball into the
     water hazard. It spooks the fish.
     19. That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for
     driving like an idiot, his name is, "Sir"... no matter how old
     he is.

     Now, enjoy your visit and go home.

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From: Lanky <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 12:53:48 +0100

>     Now, enjoy your visit and go home.

Where exactly is this place?

Lanky.

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From: [email-masked] (Jeanette S.)
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 09:43:00 -0500 (CDT)

Oh well wrote:  
IN AN EFFORT TO HELP OUTSIDERS UNDERSTAND THE MIDWEST UNITED    
STATES, THE FOLLOWING LIST WILL BE HANDED TO EACH DRIVER    
ENTERING THE AREA: 
          1. That farm boy standing next to the feed
bin did more work     before breakfast than you do all week at the
gym. 
          2. It's called a 'gravel road'. No matter
how slow you drive,     you're going to get dust on your SUV. I have
a four-wheel drive     because I need it. Drive it or get it out of
the way. 
          3. We all started hunting and fishing when
we were seven years     old. Yeah, we saw Bambi. We got over it. 
          4. Any references to "corn fed" when
talking about our women     will get you whipped... by our women.
(Snipped)
to which Lanky replied:
Where exactly is this place?
**********************************************
Sounds like Texas, and I vote we adopt it for our own!  But, it is in
the midwestern states of the U.S., Missouri (the show-me state), Kansas,
Illinois, Iowa, maybe Nebraska and Indiana.  Look at an Atlas of maps
for the U.S. and it is in the middle.   Pretty cute, huh?  Jeanette

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From: bforester <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 11:52:01 -0300

>Where exactly is this place?

Yes, please tell me, so that I can steer clear of it. Boy, those folks
are defensive. :-)

Paul

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From: Lanky <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 17:33:35 +0100

>for the U.S. and it is in the middle.   Pretty cute, huh?  Jeanette

If you do adopt in for your own, I'm sure the other states will be
most grateful. LOL

Lanky.

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From: Lanky <[email-masked]>
Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2003 19:00:07 +0100

>Where exactly is this place?

Yup.

Lanky