--- id: pseudobib1763samsquo1 short_title: The Fall of Samuel the Squomicutite author: Samuel Hopkins year: 1763 place: Rhode Island source: https://archive.org/stream/providenceincolo00inkimb#page/n429/mode/2up status: CLEAN+1 note: probably composed by Samuel Hopkins --- The Fall of Samuel the Squomicutite, and the Overthrow of the Sons of Gideon. NOW Solomon the Son Solomon slept with his Fathers, and was buried in the Tomb of Solomon his Father, and Solomon his Son reigned in his Stead. In those Days there was Contention in the Land of the Pumkinites, between Stephen the Choppemiskite, and Samuel the Squomicutite.--And the Inhabitants of Tropwen sent Message to Samuel the Squomicutite, saying: We will give our Daughters unto thy Sons, and take thy Sons for our Daughters, we will become as one People, and fight thy Battle against Stephen the Choppomiskite, if thou will come and dwell in the Land of Tropwen. And Samuel being a weak Man, hearkened unto the People of Tropwen, and came and dwelt among them, at different Times, for the Space of three whole Weeks. And Samuel made Affinity with Gideon and his Sons.--Now the Sons of Gideon, are Blunderbuss, Nimsbi, Testy, and Stubborn, all mighty Men of Valor.-- And Samuel said unto the Sons of Gideon, if you will hear my Voice, and hearken unto my Words, ye shall be great Men in the Land. Blunderbuss shall ride on a large grey Mare, with Sword by his Side, and a white Wand in his Hand, and shall execute Judgment in the Land. Nimsbi shall be first Ruler in Tropwen, with a Staff made of Hickory Wood shall he walk up and down in the Streets of Tropwen, before the People. Unto Testy will I give my Commission, to oversee the Merchants and Traders in the Land, that their Ships shall not go forth nor come again, unless they pay Tribute unto him. Stubborn your younger Brother, ye shall send forth with my Messages and my Commands, and in due Time, I will exalt him, and make him a great Man in Tropwen. The Sons of Gideon, loving the Mammon of Unrighteousness, hearkened unto the Words of Samuel, and they all arose furiously in the Morrow. And they ran unto the Hewers of Wood and Drawers of Water, and to those that use the Spade and Pick-axe, saying,--Samuel the Squomicutite, wages War against Stephen the Choppomiskite ; and if ye assist not Samuel, we will turn ye from your Dwellings, and withold Food and Raiment from your Children, that they shall die in the Streets. And thus did the Sons of Gideon, ride on Horses and in Chariots, to and fro, up and down, in the Streets of Tropwen, exclaiming against Stephen, and oppressing the Inhabitants of Tropwen, for the Space of three whole Months. Samuel made also a League with the Buyers and Sellers, and Money-changers, that if they would destroy Stephen, Root and Branch, he would give unto them the Possessions of the Poor throughout all the Land of the Pumkinites. Now the Quakerites, Choppomiskites, and Narragansetites, liked not the Doings of Samuel and the Sons of Gideon, and they set the Battle in Array against Samuel, and hey smote him Hip and Thigh, so that the Killed and Wounded of that Day, were dispersed throughout all the Land of the Pumkinites, from the Land of the Fishermen, Eastward, until thou comest to the great River Paukituck, Westward. And the Battle went sore against the Sons of Gideon, several of them were slain, and those that remain, were sore affrighted, so that they look like fierce Africans besmeared with Ashes in a cold frosty Morning. Now the Quakerites, Choppomiskites, and Narragansetites, liked not the doings of Samuel and the sons of Gideon, and they set the battle in array against Samuel, and they smote him hip and thigh, so that the killed and wounded of that day, were dispersed throughout all the land of the Pumkinites, from the land of the fisherman, eastward, until thou comest to the great river Paukituck, westward. And the battle went sore against the sons of Gideon, several of them were slain, and those that remain, were sore affrighted. Now the Acts of the Government of Samuel, are neither recorded in the Book of Samuel, nor in the Acts of the Kings, for he said MUCH but did NOTHING.