Well it seems my accidental post amused and inspired a few of you. Not to
be outdone, especially on the multiple-deaths-per-night thread, I submit
this for nomination for Norath's Worst Grouping Experience. Sorry about
the length, which will probably get me kicked off the list, but, well, I
kept dying! This happened about a month ago with my bard on Tunare,
Evulia, and her halfling druid friend Zenia, both level 7. It was also
my first time in Blackburrow and my first time grouping with strangers.

Zenia and I enter Blackburrow to the echoes of gnoll cries and screams
of anguish. Bodies are strewn all around. The air reeks of blood and
carnage. We decend a short way into the depths of the burrow, tripping
over dismembered limbs we dare not try to identify. We stop in a
hallway and spy a scrawny gnoll.
Zenia: This looks good. Shall we take that scrawny?
me: Aye.
We attack. Another scrawny gnoll joins in. I find myself getting
pushed around and can't stay focused on one gnoll at a time. Singing is
near impossible. Zenia watches her manna supply warily. Although we are
victorious, the battle lasts far longer than either of us had anticipated.
But before we are fully rested another battle ensues. As I'm being smacked
around by a gnoll and a patrolling gnoll, I watch in horror as a guard
bashes Zenia's head in. Fighting now to avenge my friend, I jam a dagger
through the throat of one gnoll, only to die at the hands of the other.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

Back at Qeynos we are joined by a ranger of the same age. The ranger
claims he knows of a great spot where you'll see, at most, 2 guards and
2 regular gnolls. No trains. It sounds like paradise & we head off,
stopping briefly to loot our corpses. Arriving at the ranger's hunting
grounds we are joined by a wizard.
Wizard: Hail
Others: Hail
Wizard: OK, see that guard? I'm going to root him. Zenia, you snare
him. Then we'll all slaughter him.
Zenia: Wait, medding.
The ranger and Zenia begin buffing the party.
Wizard: OK, I'm getting over to the other side of him now...
Ranger: Wait, medding.
Wizard: OK the coast is clear. I think we can take this guy.
Ranger: I'm not at full manna yet.
Zenia: Nor I
The wizard examines the gnoll guard from every angle, then hops around on
his toes, punching the air like a professional boxer warming up for a
fight. I practice sense heading and forage for food. Zenia and the
ranger finish medding.
Wizard: Is everyone ready?
Zenia: (standing back up) Aye, ready!
Ranger: All set
me: (stuffing an odd root I've just dug up into my pack) Good to go!
Wizard: OK, Zenia will snare it first, then we all attack.
Zenia casts. The guard attacks Zenia. The ranger rushes to her
assistance. I follow. Another guard spawns and attacks the ranger. A
regular gnoll spawns. The ranger screams and falls. Zenia screams and
falls. I scream and fall.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

I awaken outside Qeynos & see Zenia a few feet away. I sit down next to
her and begin memorizing songs.
me: Hail
Zenia: Hail
The ranger awakens beside us. He sits down and opens his spellbook.
Ranger: Hail
Zenia & I: Hail
Ranger: Did we all die?
me: (noting the wizard isn't in our zone) No, the wizard's alive.
We wait for eachother to finish memorizing our spells and head back to
retrieve our corpses. Zenia and the ranger begin the whole
buffing/medding process again. Another guard spawns.
Wizard: OK, see that guard? I'll root him, Zenia will snare him, then
we all attack.
Ranger: Am I the only tank?
me: I'll tank as best I can.
Ranger: Yeah, you were hitting pretty good for a bit there...
Wizard: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, THIS time we all stay on the
first guard if others spawn, OK? If we can all concentrate on one at a
time we'll manage.
Zenia: We need more people. I'm going to see who I can get.
Zenia tries to enlist others while meditating and buffing. I continue
practicing sense heading and forage for food. The wizard wanders
restlessly over to the guard to make faces at it. The ranger stands
up...
Ranger: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOULD SOMEONE, ANYONE AT ALL, PLEASE COME
HELP ME??? I'M BEGGING YOU!! PLEASE???
Zenia jumps to her feet! I whirl around to face the ranger, gripping my
dagger tightly! The wizard rushes back over to us, eyes flashing and
smiling like a madman!
Ranger: SORRY!! WRONG HOT KEY!! NO NEED OF ASSISTANCE!! SORRY!!
The wizard walks away pouting. Zenia shakes her head and goes back to
medding.
me: That's one hell of a hotkey! What were you trying to do?
Ranger: (shrugging sheepishly) Forage?
Wizard: HELP! HELP! WIZARD IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!
After a moment's hesitation (understandable, I guess), we rush over to
discover a battle has begun between the guard and our wizard. More
gnolls spawn. Screams ring through the air. The party cannot tell if
the blood that covers them is their own or their foes. Beaten and
dizzy, I try to back away but am slaughtered.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

Back at Qeynos I begin memorizing the tools of my trade. With my nose
in the book, I didn't notice Zenia come up behind me.
Zenia: Hail. Good news. I got us a cleric. He's on his way to the
others.
We head back.
Cleric: Hail.
Zenia & I: Hail.
Ranger: (to wizard) You said if it ran to chase it!
Wizard: No, I said if it ran I'd root it and then you could go get it.
Ranger: You told me to run!
Wizard: Well it doesn't matter because it's dead now. Just next time
wait for me to root it.
The wizard turns and walks away. I watch with keen facination as tiny
daggers emerge from the ranger's eyes and head straight for the wizards
back. Assuming this to be a ranger-only skill, I ask him what the
arguement was all about. The ranger just shakes his head. Zenia, the
cleric, and the ranger begin buffing the party. The wizard paces,
anxiously awaiting the next spawn. I practice sense heading and forage
for food. After a short wait, we're all buffed up and another guard
spawns. We try using the same tactics. These tactics work much better
now that we have 5 people in the party. This time only one of us dies.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

I relearn my songs yet again. (I can now sing them backwords, in five
different keys, while breakdancing) I return to our little battle
ground and the ranger announces he must depart. No one looks
surprised. Zenia and the cleric begin buffing the party. Rather than
practice sense heading or forage for food I check my inventory. I've
made less than two gold and have ZERO experience to show for any of
this. The wizard decides to rest very, very near the spawn point.
Zenia points this out to him. He dismisses her with a wave of his
hand. Zenia manages to enlist two more adventureres, but before they
can reach us another battle begins. Two guards and two regular gnolls
spawn, and two of our bodies fall to the floor. With my last breath I
laugh at the fact that the wizard's fell first.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

Back at Qeynos, I awaken to find the wizard memorizing spells a few feet
off. I sit down next to him and open my songbook.
me: Hail.
No response. I begin relearning my songs. When I'm done I look over to
find the wizard has left without me. Spitting Selo's, I head back to the
burrow. Before reaching the entrance, Zenia asks me to meet up with
a brave, but young cleric from Erudin. I spot him and introduce
myself and we wait for Zenia, who is fetching another druid from
Surefall. Meanwhile we receive an informative group tell from the
wizard stating that, not only has another guardsman spawned, but that he
believes he's within a few kills of level 8. I reply to the group that
I believe I'm within a few deaths of level 6. Finally Zenia arrives -
alone and cursing.
me: Where's the druid?
Zenia: Link dead. I'll go get him if he comes back. For now, let me
cast invisibility on you two and will head down.
She casts. We enter. We get separated by a train. I fall into a pool of
water. I try to find a shore to pull up onto but find it incredibly
difficult to navigate while invisible, particularly with zone's high lag.
I attempt to remove the invisibility, but don't know how.
Surefall Druid: I'm back. Where are you?
Zenia: I'm coming for you now.
me: Umm, got a bit of a problem here.
Wizard: Where is everyone??!!
Zenia: I'm getting the druid, I'll be right back.
Young cleric: Where are you all?
Zenia: (to younger cleric) What? Didn't you follow me to the others?
Surefall Druid: wtf?
Older cleric: (to younger cleric) stay where you are, I'm coming.
Wizard: (to the clerics) There are still some stray gnolls about.
Regular ones. We can take them while waiting for the druids.
I finally manage to pull myself up onto a shore, only to discover I'm
now wedged between two rocks. I'm unable to turn or move in any direction.
me: WTF???!!! Umm, folks, I've got a problem. I'm stuck. Literally.
I'm wedged between two rocks and can't move.
Older cleric: Where are you?
Zenia: Hang on Eve, I'm on my way!
Surefall Druid: WTF???
Wizard: Another guard's just spawned!
Young cleric: Where are the others?
me: I'm at <I give my LOC>
Surefall Druid: (having just left the group) 6th level druid looking for
a REAL group!
Zenia: Don't group with him. He's impatient.
Wizard: Hey, these guards are yellow to me now!
Older cleric: I can't find Eve.
Zenia: Try jumping or ducking, Eve.
I jump. Nothing happens. I duck. I plunge back into the water and
back into my previous predicament - swimming while invisible. I become
outstanding in swimming. Finally invisibilty wears off and I head to
shore. But for some reason everytime I climb up I fall back in AND get
injured by the fall.
Zenia: Get up on shore already!
me: (taking my hands off the Look Up and Forward keys to reply) I
can't! For some reason I keep falling back in!
Zenia: Come up for air already! Why'd you swim back down to the
bottom?!
I don't bother to point out that I can't swim and reply at the same time
and instead make more vain attempts to beach myself. Zenia jumps in the
water, swims up beside me, the climbs back on shore. I hit the same
spot she does, climb up, then fall back in, injuring myself in the
process. I try hitting every single spot on the shore. Finally I hit
one spot and swim a good ten feet onto dry land before dropping safely
to my feet. Flustered and shivering I follow Zenia back to the rest of
the party.
Wizard: OK, I'll root this guard, Zenia can snare it, then Eve & the
clerics can hack away at it.
me: Mind if I put my armor on first?
Zenia: Don't use root. It isn't working.
Older cleric: Umm, I need to leave now. It's not that I don't want to
stay but, umm, see, the owner of this phone line wants me to get off of
it. There's nothing I can do. Sorry. Bye.
Wizard: (Dismissing the older cleric with a wave of his hand) OK Zenia,
you just snare it and I'll start hitting it with other spells.
Young cleric: Umm, Eve, do you have a healing song?
me: Yeah, but it's not all that powerful.
Wizard: Hey, did I mention these guards are yellow to me now?
Zenia: Aye, they're yellow to me as well.
me: Still red to me.
Wizard: I think I can take one by myself.
Young cleric: You CAN'T take one by yourself!
Wizard: (dismissing the young cleric with a wave of his hand) I really
do believe I can. Without much difficulty.
Zenia: Everytime we've attacked others have spawned. Do you think you
can solo two?
Wizard: (to cleric) Go over by where Eve is. I'm going to try soloing
this one.
Young cleric: You're going to die...
The young cleric and I back up into the crevaces in the wall as far from
the guardsman as possible. We have a silent competition to see who can
back themselves in further. Being a wood elf, I win.
Zenia: At least wait until we're fully buffed and medded.
Wizard: (ignoring her) OK, here goes...
Young cleric: I'm not fully medded!
Zenia: WAIT!!
The wizard zaps the guard. It attacks him. The cleric stands up, takes
a step forward, then turns and looks to me. I take a step forward, then
turn and look at the cleric. Another guard spawns.
Wizard: HELP! HELP! WIZARD IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!
Zenia: RUN!!
Zenia promptly follows her own advice. I wait for the cleric to start
running, but instead he raises his weapon and joins the battle. I start
to flee, then turn back cursing. I can't leave the cleric to die. I
begin to sing. One of the guards immediately turns to me.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

Back at Qeynos, Zenia tells me privately that the group will be
disbanding as soon as we get all the corpses back. I check my
inventory. Just under 3 gold, a couple patches of fur, and one copper
ring are all I have to show for the evening. No experience. I arrive
back at our hunting grounds and the wizard leaves the party. There is
much rejoicing. We make our apologies to the cleric, hoping to one day
fight with him again under better circumstances. Then Zenia and I head
back to the hills. On our way back to Qeynos a wolf begins nipping at
me. I turn and stab at it, then remember I'm in the company of a
druid. I advice we make a dash to the zone before I find myself
knitting some small patchwork. Zenia laughs. I laugh. Cros laughs.

LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...

L8R
Evulia, bard gone soloist