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Message ID: 5490
Date: Tue Aug 24 17:53:33 BST 1999
Author: Jamie
Subject: Re: Loooooong story
----- Original Message -----
From: Webber, Jessica <WebberJ@...>
To: <eqbards@onelist.com>
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 1999 7:39 AM
Subject: [eqbards] Loooooong story
> From: "Webber, Jessica" <WebberJ@...>
>
> Well it seems my accidental post amused and inspired a few of you. Not to
> be outdone, especially on the multiple-deaths-per-night thread, I submit
> this for nomination for Norath's Worst Grouping Experience. Sorry about
> the length, which will probably get me kicked off the list, but, well, I
> kept dying! This happened about a month ago with my bard on Tunare,
> Evulia, and her halfling druid friend Zenia, both level 7. It was also
> my first time in Blackburrow and my first time grouping with strangers.
>
> Zenia and I enter Blackburrow to the echoes of gnoll cries and screams
> of anguish. Bodies are strewn all around. The air reeks of blood and
> carnage. We decend a short way into the depths of the burrow, tripping
> over dismembered limbs we dare not try to identify. We stop in a
> hallway and spy a scrawny gnoll.
> Zenia: This looks good. Shall we take that scrawny?
> me: Aye.
> We attack. Another scrawny gnoll joins in. I find myself getting
> pushed around and can't stay focused on one gnoll at a time. Singing is
> near impossible. Zenia watches her manna supply warily. Although we are
> victorious, the battle lasts far longer than either of us had anticipated.
> But before we are fully rested another battle ensues. As I'm being
smacked
> around by a gnoll and a patrolling gnoll, I watch in horror as a guard
> bashes Zenia's head in. Fighting now to avenge my friend, I jam a dagger
> through the throat of one gnoll, only to die at the hands of the other.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> Back at Qeynos we are joined by a ranger of the same age. The ranger
> claims he knows of a great spot where you'll see, at most, 2 guards and
> 2 regular gnolls. No trains. It sounds like paradise & we head off,
> stopping briefly to loot our corpses. Arriving at the ranger's hunting
> grounds we are joined by a wizard.
> Wizard: Hail
> Others: Hail
> Wizard: OK, see that guard? I'm going to root him. Zenia, you snare
> him. Then we'll all slaughter him.
> Zenia: Wait, medding.
> The ranger and Zenia begin buffing the party.
> Wizard: OK, I'm getting over to the other side of him now...
> Ranger: Wait, medding.
> Wizard: OK the coast is clear. I think we can take this guy.
> Ranger: I'm not at full manna yet.
> Zenia: Nor I
> The wizard examines the gnoll guard from every angle, then hops around on
> his toes, punching the air like a professional boxer warming up for a
> fight. I practice sense heading and forage for food. Zenia and the
> ranger finish medding.
> Wizard: Is everyone ready?
> Zenia: (standing back up) Aye, ready!
> Ranger: All set
> me: (stuffing an odd root I've just dug up into my pack) Good to go!
> Wizard: OK, Zenia will snare it first, then we all attack.
> Zenia casts. The guard attacks Zenia. The ranger rushes to her
> assistance. I follow. Another guard spawns and attacks the ranger. A
> regular gnoll spawns. The ranger screams and falls. Zenia screams and
> falls. I scream and fall.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> I awaken outside Qeynos & see Zenia a few feet away. I sit down next to
> her and begin memorizing songs.
> me: Hail
> Zenia: Hail
> The ranger awakens beside us. He sits down and opens his spellbook.
> Ranger: Hail
> Zenia & I: Hail
> Ranger: Did we all die?
> me: (noting the wizard isn't in our zone) No, the wizard's alive.
> We wait for eachother to finish memorizing our spells and head back to
> retrieve our corpses. Zenia and the ranger begin the whole
> buffing/medding process again. Another guard spawns.
> Wizard: OK, see that guard? I'll root him, Zenia will snare him, then
> we all attack.
> Ranger: Am I the only tank?
> me: I'll tank as best I can.
> Ranger: Yeah, you were hitting pretty good for a bit there...
> Wizard: Yeah, yeah, whatever. Anyway, THIS time we all stay on the
> first guard if others spawn, OK? If we can all concentrate on one at a
> time we'll manage.
> Zenia: We need more people. I'm going to see who I can get.
> Zenia tries to enlist others while meditating and buffing. I continue
> practicing sense heading and forage for food. The wizard wanders
> restlessly over to the guard to make faces at it. The ranger stands
> up...
> Ranger: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD WOULD SOMEONE, ANYONE AT ALL, PLEASE COME
> HELP ME??? I'M BEGGING YOU!! PLEASE???
> Zenia jumps to her feet! I whirl around to face the ranger, gripping my
> dagger tightly! The wizard rushes back over to us, eyes flashing and
> smiling like a madman!
> Ranger: SORRY!! WRONG HOT KEY!! NO NEED OF ASSISTANCE!! SORRY!!
> The wizard walks away pouting. Zenia shakes her head and goes back to
> medding.
> me: That's one hell of a hotkey! What were you trying to do?
> Ranger: (shrugging sheepishly) Forage?
> Wizard: HELP! HELP! WIZARD IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!
> After a moment's hesitation (understandable, I guess), we rush over to
> discover a battle has begun between the guard and our wizard. More
> gnolls spawn. Screams ring through the air. The party cannot tell if
> the blood that covers them is their own or their foes. Beaten and
> dizzy, I try to back away but am slaughtered.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> Back at Qeynos I begin memorizing the tools of my trade. With my nose
> in the book, I didn't notice Zenia come up behind me.
> Zenia: Hail. Good news. I got us a cleric. He's on his way to the
> others.
> We head back.
> Cleric: Hail.
> Zenia & I: Hail.
> Ranger: (to wizard) You said if it ran to chase it!
> Wizard: No, I said if it ran I'd root it and then you could go get it.
> Ranger: You told me to run!
> Wizard: Well it doesn't matter because it's dead now. Just next time
> wait for me to root it.
> The wizard turns and walks away. I watch with keen facination as tiny
> daggers emerge from the ranger's eyes and head straight for the wizards
> back. Assuming this to be a ranger-only skill, I ask him what the
> arguement was all about. The ranger just shakes his head. Zenia, the
> cleric, and the ranger begin buffing the party. The wizard paces,
> anxiously awaiting the next spawn. I practice sense heading and forage
> for food. After a short wait, we're all buffed up and another guard
> spawns. We try using the same tactics. These tactics work much better
> now that we have 5 people in the party. This time only one of us dies.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> I relearn my songs yet again. (I can now sing them backwords, in five
> different keys, while breakdancing) I return to our little battle
> ground and the ranger announces he must depart. No one looks
> surprised. Zenia and the cleric begin buffing the party. Rather than
> practice sense heading or forage for food I check my inventory. I've
> made less than two gold and have ZERO experience to show for any of
> this. The wizard decides to rest very, very near the spawn point.
> Zenia points this out to him. He dismisses her with a wave of his
> hand. Zenia manages to enlist two more adventureres, but before they
> can reach us another battle begins. Two guards and two regular gnolls
> spawn, and two of our bodies fall to the floor. With my last breath I
> laugh at the fact that the wizard's fell first.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> Back at Qeynos, I awaken to find the wizard memorizing spells a few feet
> off. I sit down next to him and open my songbook.
> me: Hail.
> No response. I begin relearning my songs. When I'm done I look over to
> find the wizard has left without me. Spitting Selo's, I head back to the
> burrow. Before reaching the entrance, Zenia asks me to meet up with
> a brave, but young cleric from Erudin. I spot him and introduce
> myself and we wait for Zenia, who is fetching another druid from
> Surefall. Meanwhile we receive an informative group tell from the
> wizard stating that, not only has another guardsman spawned, but that he
> believes he's within a few kills of level 8. I reply to the group that
> I believe I'm within a few deaths of level 6. Finally Zenia arrives -
> alone and cursing.
> me: Where's the druid?
> Zenia: Link dead. I'll go get him if he comes back. For now, let me
> cast invisibility on you two and will head down.
> She casts. We enter. We get separated by a train. I fall into a pool of
> water. I try to find a shore to pull up onto but find it incredibly
> difficult to navigate while invisible, particularly with zone's high lag.
> I attempt to remove the invisibility, but don't know how.
> Surefall Druid: I'm back. Where are you?
> Zenia: I'm coming for you now.
> me: Umm, got a bit of a problem here.
> Wizard: Where is everyone??!!
> Zenia: I'm getting the druid, I'll be right back.
> Young cleric: Where are you all?
> Zenia: (to younger cleric) What? Didn't you follow me to the others?
> Surefall Druid: wtf?
> Older cleric: (to younger cleric) stay where you are, I'm coming.
> Wizard: (to the clerics) There are still some stray gnolls about.
> Regular ones. We can take them while waiting for the druids.
> I finally manage to pull myself up onto a shore, only to discover I'm
> now wedged between two rocks. I'm unable to turn or move in any direction.
> me: WTF???!!! Umm, folks, I've got a problem. I'm stuck. Literally.
> I'm wedged between two rocks and can't move.
> Older cleric: Where are you?
> Zenia: Hang on Eve, I'm on my way!
> Surefall Druid: WTF???
> Wizard: Another guard's just spawned!
> Young cleric: Where are the others?
> me: I'm at <I give my LOC>
> Surefall Druid: (having just left the group) 6th level druid looking for
> a REAL group!
> Zenia: Don't group with him. He's impatient.
> Wizard: Hey, these guards are yellow to me now!
> Older cleric: I can't find Eve.
> Zenia: Try jumping or ducking, Eve.
> I jump. Nothing happens. I duck. I plunge back into the water and
> back into my previous predicament - swimming while invisible. I become
> outstanding in swimming. Finally invisibilty wears off and I head to
> shore. But for some reason everytime I climb up I fall back in AND get
> injured by the fall.
> Zenia: Get up on shore already!
> me: (taking my hands off the Look Up and Forward keys to reply) I
> can't! For some reason I keep falling back in!
> Zenia: Come up for air already! Why'd you swim back down to the
> bottom?!
> I don't bother to point out that I can't swim and reply at the same time
> and instead make more vain attempts to beach myself. Zenia jumps in the
> water, swims up beside me, the climbs back on shore. I hit the same
> spot she does, climb up, then fall back in, injuring myself in the
> process. I try hitting every single spot on the shore. Finally I hit
> one spot and swim a good ten feet onto dry land before dropping safely
> to my feet. Flustered and shivering I follow Zenia back to the rest of
> the party.
> Wizard: OK, I'll root this guard, Zenia can snare it, then Eve & the
> clerics can hack away at it.
> me: Mind if I put my armor on first?
> Zenia: Don't use root. It isn't working.
> Older cleric: Umm, I need to leave now. It's not that I don't want to
> stay but, umm, see, the owner of this phone line wants me to get off of
> it. There's nothing I can do. Sorry. Bye.
> Wizard: (Dismissing the older cleric with a wave of his hand) OK Zenia,
> you just snare it and I'll start hitting it with other spells.
> Young cleric: Umm, Eve, do you have a healing song?
> me: Yeah, but it's not all that powerful.
> Wizard: Hey, did I mention these guards are yellow to me now?
> Zenia: Aye, they're yellow to me as well.
> me: Still red to me.
> Wizard: I think I can take one by myself.
> Young cleric: You CAN'T take one by yourself!
> Wizard: (dismissing the young cleric with a wave of his hand) I really
> do believe I can. Without much difficulty.
> Zenia: Everytime we've attacked others have spawned. Do you think you
> can solo two?
> Wizard: (to cleric) Go over by where Eve is. I'm going to try soloing
> this one.
> Young cleric: You're going to die...
> The young cleric and I back up into the crevaces in the wall as far from
> the guardsman as possible. We have a silent competition to see who can
> back themselves in further. Being a wood elf, I win.
> Zenia: At least wait until we're fully buffed and medded.
> Wizard: (ignoring her) OK, here goes...
> Young cleric: I'm not fully medded!
> Zenia: WAIT!!
> The wizard zaps the guard. It attacks him. The cleric stands up, takes
> a step forward, then turns and looks to me. I take a step forward, then
> turn and look at the cleric. Another guard spawns.
> Wizard: HELP! HELP! WIZARD IN NEED OF ASSISTANCE!
> Zenia: RUN!!
> Zenia promptly follows her own advice. I wait for the cleric to start
> running, but instead he raises his weapon and joins the battle. I start
> to flee, then turn back cursing. I can't leave the cleric to die. I
> begin to sing. One of the guards immediately turns to me.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> Back at Qeynos, Zenia tells me privately that the group will be
> disbanding as soon as we get all the corpses back. I check my
> inventory. Just under 3 gold, a couple patches of fur, and one copper
> ring are all I have to show for the evening. No experience. I arrive
> back at our hunting grounds and the wizard leaves the party. There is
> much rejoicing. We make our apologies to the cleric, hoping to one day
> fight with him again under better circumstances. Then Zenia and I head
> back to the hills. On our way back to Qeynos a wolf begins nipping at
> me. I turn and stab at it, then remember I'm in the company of a
> druid. I advice we make a dash to the zone before I find myself
> knitting some small patchwork. Zenia laughs. I laugh. Cros laughs.
>
> LOADING, PLEASE WAIT...
>
> L8R
> Evulia, bard gone soloist
>
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