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The Hemingway Cookbook
Eat like a badass.
The ultimate cookbook for the real man, legendary author and beard enthusiast Ernest Hemingway brings the world this collection of badass recipes. Meals include Dorado Fillet in Damn Good Sauce, Woodcock Flambé in Armagnac, Campfire Apple Pie, and Fillet of Lion washed down with Campari and Gordon’s Gin. It’ll put hair on your chest.
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Lazy-as-Fuck Reading Glasses
Also good for looking down your own shirt. Ladies.
As we all know, it’s incredibly difficult to sit up in bed while reading. With these magic prism glasses, you can enjoy 50 Shades of Gray while focusing on more important things, like wondering how your life came to this dazzling low point, or stimulating your prostate whilst picturing yourself safe in the strong arms...
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Understand Rap – The Book
The perfect gift for Grandma
As the rapper and modern poet “Lil Wayne” once said: “I told her to back it up like ‘burp burp’, And make that ass jump like ‘scherp scherp'”. What? I’m sorry, I’m far too white to understand what’s going on. Is this lady okay? This book helps decipher the words of T.I., Master P, Lil...
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Self diagnosis for hypochondriacs
The complete manual of things that'll probably kill you
Hypochondria is a virus that affects an as yet indeterminate number of people. It’s not nice and, like aids, it makes you particularly vulnerable to every single disease in the universe – regardless of whether that disease actually exists. I’ve probably got it, you’ve probably got it. So get this manual and read about everything...
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120 days of sodom
And you thought they weren't naughty in the eighteenth century
Tired of the same old dirty mags and ‘romantic’ novels? Want something a little more imaginative – a little more edgy? In the late 1700s the Marquis de Sade wrote ‘120 days of Sodom’, a classic tale of debauched kinkiness set in a castle over the course of four months. A page-turner your grandparents almost...
I’ve got love for you if you were born in the eighties
There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the world. We think it’s the...
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The Very Hungry Caterpillar Pop-Up Book
This caterpillar got the munchies
An absolute classic of your childhood years, ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ is one of the finest works in the English language. And don’t worry, unless you’re George Bush it’s easy to follow even when you’re drunk.
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Curious George Goes to an Ice Cream Shop
Science: Humans got ADHD from monkeys
In this beautifully illustrated book the most popular monkey of all time visits an ice cream shop. If you like ice cream and monkeys, and have any happy memories of your childhood whatsoever, then you should probably buy this. If you don’t, go to bed and read some Thomas Hardy or something tomorrow.
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National Geographic Year Subscription
Isn't about time you got cultured?
Mark Twain once said, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.” If you think there is any truth in that then you should probably get a year’s subscription to National Geographic magazine. Think of your excitement every month when you see that golden border...
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Wicca Love Spells book
Online dating didn't work? Try something more traditional, try witchcraft.
We all know that witches weren’t that popular back in the day, but now we are a more tolerant and liberal society, every race and creed is equal – bring witchcraft back with this spell book. You can cast love spells, make sex potions, and if you are advanced enough you can cast a spell...
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Girls, Guns & Ropes, hardcover
Photos of hot Texas girls with guns, knives and ropes? Naked legs wrapped seductively around an AK-47? Only a real-life gay or a massive pacifist wouldn’t want this.
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Crazy about cupcakes, Paperback
The best thing about having an oven
The only people who don’t like cupcakes are anorexics and people who are so fat they only bother with full-sized cakes. This book contains recipes for virtually every cupcake you could ever want to make. Bake them after a night out, before your yoga class, or just before you settle down to watch ‘Pride &...
