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How to dress like Jeremy Corbyn
If you want to run the labour party, you’ll need to perfect the art of dressing like your Grandad dressed himself while drunk, then sent you a 1.1 megapixel picture he took on a Nokia 3220, and then you tried to copy his outfit but you don’t have a mirror and all of your clothes...
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$20
$20
Lazy-as-Fuck Reading Glasses
Also good for looking down your own shirt. Ladies.
As we all know, it’s incredibly difficult to sit up in bed while reading. With these magic prism glasses, you can enjoy 50 Shades of Gray while focusing on more important things, like wondering how your life came to this dazzling low point, or stimulating your prostate whilst picturing yourself safe in the strong arms...
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Prepare for your day like Patrick Bateman
As a teenager you no doubt slept until midday, rolled out of bed, played computer games and ate bowls of cereal. You probably didn’t shower until the evening and I’m guessing your job (if you had one) was rubbish. If you’re a student this’ll sound near identical to your life right now (except you’ll almost...
13 ways to evolve before everyone else
So evolution is probably slowing down, what with all the health care and all the easy girls flying around. Being alpha male just doesn’t put you at the front of the pack anymore; you need to take matters into your own hands. You need to e-volve (sorry) and get the kit that naturally selects you....
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$18
$18
Incredible Dog Shirt
WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF
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$20
$20
Combat Stryker Adult T-shirt
Are you an AmeriCAN or an AmeriCAN'T?
If tomorrow all the things were gone, I’d worked for all my life. And I had to start again, with just my children and my wife. I’d thank my lucky stars, to be livin here today. ‘ Cause the flag still stands for freedom, and they can’t take that away. And I’m proud to be...
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$180
$180
Munitio 9mm Earphones w/ mic control
more like 'ear ... guns?' nope
On a scale of 1-Vin Diesel, are you bad ass enough to wear these? If you answered 1 then yes you are. Put these in your earginas and pump some sticky hot tunes all over your ear drum’s face… I apologise for that, that was unnecessary, but you’re drunk so fuck it.
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$80
$80
Retro flip clock
Wake up feeling like Don Draper
Of course this is a great idea… stop thinking. You like flip clocks, right? You like looking cool and impressing people? Your inhibitions are low? Treat yourself to some style for once, Hank Chinaski
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$50
$50
Car underbody neons
Spruce up your banger
We’ve all watched ‘Pimp My Ride’ and wished that we owned a car to be proud of. A car more likely to get us laid than Bumblebee. Back in the real world most of us are stuck with shit piles we inherited when our grandmothers died. Fortunately Paul Walker invented neons for his pioneering film...
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$10
$10
Accoutrements Undercap
Comes soiled if ordered from Japan
From the people who brought you handerpants comes the Undercap, for when you want to wear your underpants on your head – in style (or just to make your beanie warmer). It’s debatable whether this will make you look attractive to the opposite sex, but I personally know-oh-too-well that a follow-through definitely does not. With...
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$50
$50
Emergency bra / gas mask
The perfect valentines gift for the woman who has a fear of airborne toxins
We’ve all been there, out on a romantic date, things are going great, until the unwelcome third wheel of harmful airborne particles turn up, but guess what – you don’t have your respirator! If only your date sacrificed sexiness for safety and was wearing the E-Bra, you could rip it off, wrap it around your...
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$14
$14
Justin Bieber watch
It's Bieber time!
Not only is this watch your constant reminder of the world’s greatest living musician, it’ll help you be on time for the schoolbus and for homework club. Not even Bieber herself is cool enough to wear this watch. Protect it with your life – I promise all the other boys will be mad with jealousy....
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$24
$24
Teroforma Whisky Stones
Fed up of watered down whisky?
Alright, you’ve got some whisky, you want to drink it but it’s hot outside and you Americans like your drinks cold because you hate flavour. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Luckily you’ve got your reusable whisky stones in the freezer, chuck them in your whisky and they won’t...
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$20
$20
Harry Potter sorting hat
Sort of cool?
If you’re like me, your favorite Harry Potter character is the sorting hat. Imagine wearing a famous movie star like that on your head? It’d be like walking around with Natalie Portman on your face. Take note fashion aficionados.
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$5
$5
Fingerstache tattoos
Hairy fingers are fashionable...
These are tattoos that go on your fingers so you can call upon a mustache whenever the occasion demands. Good for women trying to put off men and for men not man/stupid enough to grow their own.
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$20
$20
Navel piercing kit
DIY piercing for the recession-conscious
Remember the first time you got drunk with a friend and asked her to pierce you? Re-live the good old days, except this time pierce your navel and do it with a proper kit so your stomach doesn’t look like Keanu Reeves’ when that scorpion bursts out of it in The Matrix. Bottle of whiskey...
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$45
$45
Dinosaur jumpsuit
funsie in a onesie
If you wish you were still a baby and only had to put on a single item of clothing in the morning, we’ve got just the thing for you. This soft fleece onesie is adorned with pictures of sexy dinosaurs guaranteed to get your partner’s juices flowing and a butt flap for easy access when...
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$50
$50
Kate Middleton’s engagement ring
Put a ring on it Wills
The ring that belonged to Princess Diana before she got drunk and crashed her car. Now you can wear it and go on fantasizing that you’re engaged to William. Dream on, he wouldn’t leave Kate for an American…
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$15
$15
Borat Men’s Mankini
Jagshemash!
With the summer approaching I can’t think of a better way to impress the ladies than by wearing this Borat mankini. If you really want to look the part grow a mustache as well. Sexytime!
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$15
$15
Special someone needs a shirt?
Is that special someone you? Well nothing says “I love myself” more than a T-Shirt with two wolves kissing on it.
