Comments Closed
around
$25
$25
Moon cup
Look mum, no hands!
I slept through most of my biology classes at school but I do remember hearing that once a month the moon bleeds from various canyons it’s deposited across the female population. Using fallen pieces of the moon scientists have fashioned ‘moon cups’ – a novel way to collect this moon juice. I don’t know what...
8 Valentines gifts guaranteed to end your relationship
It’s almost Valentine’s day and you’re on the internet looking for something – anything – for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you realize: you can’t think of anything because, in reality, you don’t really care about this person. Better yet, you want to break up with them! And what better and more memorable a day...
Comments Closed
around
$50
$50
Emergency bra / gas mask
The perfect valentines gift for the woman who has a fear of airborne toxins
We’ve all been there, out on a romantic date, things are going great, until the unwelcome third wheel of harmful airborne particles turn up, but guess what – you don’t have your respirator! If only your date sacrificed sexiness for safety and was wearing the E-Bra, you could rip it off, wrap it around your...
Comments Closed
around
$25
$25
David Kirsch fitness boot camp DVD
Get a bum like Klum
To be honest, until about 10 minutes ago I’d no idea who David Kirsch was. Turns out he’s a fitness trainer who’s responsible for making hot people look even hotter. In your case it’s likely that the old adage ‘you can’t polish a turd’ may well apply. It’s worth a shot though. Shove on this...
Comments Closed
around
$10
$10
Douche bag/enema
Keep your privates looking sharp
Even if you don’t use/touch them very often (which I do), it’s always a good idea to keep your genitals/butt nice and clean. I read somewhere that people who use enemas are more likely to get promoted at work. It’s also pretty fun to get your friends to wash you out with beer (ideally not...
Comments Closed
around
$8
$8
Fat calipers
Remember when they used to call you 'fatty'?
Let’s face it, the chances are you’re probably fat. 64% of the US adult population is overweight and alcohol isn’t exactly slimming. Don’t get down about it, though. It’s the New Year so get off your fat arse, do some exercise, and track your progress with these fat calipers. If you’re not fat, well done....
Comments Closed
around
$20
$20
Navel piercing kit
DIY piercing for the recession-conscious
Remember the first time you got drunk with a friend and asked her to pierce you? Re-live the good old days, except this time pierce your navel and do it with a proper kit so your stomach doesn’t look like Keanu Reeves’ when that scorpion bursts out of it in The Matrix. Bottle of whiskey...
around
$50
$50
Kate Middleton’s engagement ring
Put a ring on it Wills
The ring that belonged to Princess Diana before she got drunk and crashed her car. Now you can wear it and go on fantasizing that you’re engaged to William. Dream on, he wouldn’t leave Kate for an American…
around
$25
$25
Shake Weight
Shake it like a polaroid penis
Alright people, now is the time for you to take the initiative and own one of these legendary workout tools. The SNL parody clip was pretty good, and then South Park introduced us to the revolutionary cooling down system, but nothing comes close to owning one of these monsters. Shake that weight til you’re spent....
Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies
If you were born in 80s and your parents weren’t exceptionally elitist, you probably grew up watching enough Disney movies to permanently loosen your grasp on reality. Only us kids had the time and mental strength to traipse through every Disney movie that was around, often more than once, and so it’s fair to say...
around
$25
$25
Nick Jonas Cardboard Cut-out
Punch it, have sex with it... It's your choice.
Unless you’ve got that fast-aging disease that Robin Williams gets in Jack then you probably can’t be both drunk and reminiscing about those days fawning over Nick Jonas – however, that doesn’t mean buying a life-size, cardboard cut out of him for $25 is a bad idea.
around
$35
$35
Clone-A-Willy Kit
Stick with what you know
The Clone-a-willy set allows you to make a carbon (not carbon) copy of a particular penis into a vibrator so you’ll feel right at home. I’m not sure of the logistics of it all but make yourself a copy of your husbands, boyfriends or that hot guy in the marketing department who you can’t bring...
around
$5
$5
Animal print slap bracelets (12 pk)
Slap yourself back into fashion
These things are probably still in fashion, but even still, who better to bring them back than you? This set of twelve, animal print snap bracelets mean you get to give out 11 of them to your friends making them instantly in vogue, problem solved.
around
$30
$30
Organic Anti-Cellulite Treatment
Nice, butt...
Wasn’t it Abraham Lincoln who once said ‘I do love a nice, smooth bottom’? And James Brown who sang ‘your thighs get me high’? Why insult the memory of these two great Americans when for $30 you can get this organic cream and ensure your skin stays cellulite free? I mean, who wants to end...
around
$80
$80
Epilator, 72 tweezer heads
Hair of the dog
Say you need to remove some hair. Say you don’t want it growing back. Say you wanted to have 72 tweezers working in perfect harmony to comfortably remove unwanted hair. It’s about $80, go crazy.
around
$25
$25
Belly cast kit
Is your stomach growing?
Science can only get you so far in answering this age old question. The only way to be sure is to make a drunken cast of your inflating belly with this belly casting kit for pregnant ladies. For $25 you, and anyone else that you decide deserves to witness this event, get to have priceless...
around
$15
$15
Wicca Love Spells book
Online dating didn't work? Try something more traditional, try witchcraft.
We all know that witches weren’t that popular back in the day, but now we are a more tolerant and liberal society, every race and creed is equal – bring witchcraft back with this spell book. You can cast love spells, make sex potions, and if you are advanced enough you can cast a spell...
around
$350
$350
A year’s supply of chocolate
Why are you sitting around munching on a carrot when you could be stuffing fistfuls of gorgeous dark chocolate down your throat? Are you some sort of health freak? Pull yourself together and start receiving a massive box of delicious gourmet chocolates every month for an entire year. If you’re worried about getting fat just...
around
$10
$10
Crazy about cupcakes, Paperback
The best thing about having an oven
The only people who don’t like cupcakes are anorexics and people who are so fat they only bother with full-sized cakes. This book contains recipes for virtually every cupcake you could ever want to make. Bake them after a night out, before your yoga class, or just before you settle down to watch ‘Pride &...
around
$10
$10
The Notebook OST
Cry yourself to sleep
Yeah you’ve seen it, The Notebook, powerful enough to make grown men cry. Well here is the soundtrack on digital download so your ears can relive the whole saga all over again right now. Also, play it when you’ve a man with you and he’ll probably turn into Ryan Gosling. ( -Don’t hold us to...
