around
$20
$20
Navel piercing kit
DIY piercing for the recession-conscious
Remember the first time you got drunk with a friend and asked her to pierce you? Re-live the good old days, except this time pierce your navel and do it with a proper kit so your stomach doesn’t look like Keanu Reeves’ when that scorpion bursts out of it in The Matrix. Bottle of whiskey...
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$45
$45
Dinosaur jumpsuit
funsie in a onesie
If you wish you were still a baby and only had to put on a single item of clothing in the morning, we’ve got just the thing for you. This soft fleece onesie is adorned with pictures of sexy dinosaurs guaranteed to get your partner’s juices flowing and a butt flap for easy access when...
around
$110
$110
Testicle Self Exam Practice Form
Testes yourself for cancer
This fully scientific and accurate ball sack lets you feel what a tumor would feel like in real life to help you identify one sooner, it’s even pretty fun trying to find it. But the fun doesn’t stop there, oh no sir. Not only does this scientific marvel act as a great stress reliever if...
Prepare for the apocalypse
Sooner or later the apocalypse’s sure to arrive. We think sooner. Ok, so it didn’t really show up on May 21st 2011, but there are big hopes for 2012. Unless you’ve invested in an iron man suit, a spaceship or built yourself a nuclear bunker, you’re gonna feel like a bell-end. The following items will...
around
$50
$50
Kate Middleton’s engagement ring
Put a ring on it Wills
The ring that belonged to Princess Diana before she got drunk and crashed her car. Now you can wear it and go on fantasizing that you’re engaged to William. Dream on, he wouldn’t leave Kate for an American…
around
$25
$25
Shake Weight
Shake it like a polaroid penis
Alright people, now is the time for you to take the initiative and own one of these legendary workout tools. The SNL parody clip was pretty good, and then South Park introduced us to the revolutionary cooling down system, but nothing comes close to owning one of these monsters. Shake that weight til you’re spent....
Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies
If you were born in 80s and your parents weren’t exceptionally elitist, you probably grew up watching enough Disney movies to permanently loosen your grasp on reality. Only us kids had the time and mental strength to traipse through every Disney movie that was around, often more than once, and so it’s fair to say...
I’ve got love for you if you were born in the eighties
There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the world. We think it’s the...
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$25
$25
Nick Jonas Cardboard Cut-out
Punch it, have sex with it... It's your choice.
Unless you’ve got that fast-aging disease that Robin Williams gets in Jack then you probably can’t be both drunk and reminiscing about those days fawning over Nick Jonas – however, that doesn’t mean buying a life-size, cardboard cut out of him for $25 is a bad idea.
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$40
$40
Pheromone Cologne
Liquid Sex
Make yourself irresistible to the opposite sex by showing them you’ve the disposable income to purchase $35 worth of pheromones. Nah, I joke but I’ve done some research and it looks like this stuff scientifically works. If you’ve got terrible chat, want to be the perfect stealth-wingman or you’re just trying to convince the girlfriend...
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$10
$10
Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce
"The hottest sauce in the universe" - Stephen Hawking
From Dave’s Ultimate Insanity hot sauce range comes “The Hottest Sauce in the Universe”. Sure you’ve just had a kebab with extra chilli sauce, and that straight vodka you had earlier might have fatality’d half your tastebuds, but not even you ( -and this is a challenge) can stand up to this awe-inspiring sauce. Just...
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$35
$35
Clone-A-Willy Kit
Stick with what you know
The Clone-a-willy set allows you to make a carbon (not carbon) copy of a particular penis into a vibrator so you’ll feel right at home. I’m not sure of the logistics of it all but make yourself a copy of your husbands, boyfriends or that hot guy in the marketing department who you can’t bring...
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$20
$20
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Pop-Up Book
This caterpillar got the munchies
An absolute classic of your childhood years, ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ is one of the finest works in the English language. And don’t worry, unless you’re George Bush it’s easy to follow even when you’re drunk.
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$15
$15
Batdog costume
Need a sidekick?
You are drunk, but unless you’re incredibly generous, your dog probably isn’t. He needs to get chicks too, and what better way for him to bone some bitches than by hitting the town in his very own Batdog costume? Also, think how great it would be if your dog is always running around the house...
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$15
$15
Borat Men’s Mankini
Jagshemash!
With the summer approaching I can’t think of a better way to impress the ladies than by wearing this Borat mankini. If you really want to look the part grow a mustache as well. Sexytime!
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$15
$15
Special someone needs a shirt?
Is that special someone you? Well nothing says “I love myself” more than a T-Shirt with two wolves kissing on it.
around
$30
$30
Jerky and sausage gun kit
Actually stuff your own sausages
This jerky and sausage gun means you can make sausages out of whatever you want. Whack in some beef, pork, egg, chili pepper, steak seasoning and ale or go full McDonalds and experiment with scraps off the floor. Then quit the office job and open a hotdog stand outside your house.
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$25
$25
24-105mm Travel Coffee Mug
Better than a gameboy necklace
Impress all the hipsters with your very own thermos lens-cup. Looks like the lens of a camera, drinks like a cup – it’s a mystery.
around
$50
$50
Steel and Leather Gauntlets
Challenge someone to a duel ... of style
These Steel and Leather Gauntlet Gloves are a must for aspiring knights and people who like dueling. Fully commit and wear them while you make love. Your man/woman will love the foreplay
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$5
$5
Animal print slap bracelets (12 pk)
Slap yourself back into fashion
These things are probably still in fashion, but even still, who better to bring them back than you? This set of twelve, animal print snap bracelets mean you get to give out 11 of them to your friends making them instantly in vogue, problem solved.
