How to dress like Jeremy Corbyn
Style

How to dress like Jeremy Corbyn

If you want to run the labour party, you’ll need to perfect the art of dressing like your Grandad dressed himself while drunk, then sent you a 1.1 megapixel picture he took on a Nokia 3220, and then you tried to copy his outfit but you don’t have a mirror...
Prepare for your day like Patrick Bateman
Features / Living / Style

Prepare for your day like Patrick Bateman

As a teenager you no doubt slept until midday, rolled out of bed, played computer games and ate bowls of cereal. You probably didn’t shower until the evening and I’m guessing your job (if you had one) was rubbish. If you’re a student this’ll sound near identical to your life...
13 ways to evolve before everyone else
Features / Man Tools / Style

13 ways to evolve before everyone else

So evolution is probably slowing down, what with all the health care and all the easy girls flying around. Being alpha male just doesn’t put you at the front of the pack anymore; you need to take matters into your own hands. You need to e-volve (sorry) and get the...
8 Valentines gifts guaranteed to end your relationship
Features / For Girls

8 Valentines gifts guaranteed to end your relationship

It’s almost Valentine’s day and you’re on the internet looking for something – anything – for your boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you realize: you can’t think of anything because, in reality, you don’t really care about this person. Better yet, you want to break up with them! And what better...
Prepare for the apocalypse
Features / Living / WTF?

Prepare for the apocalypse

Sooner or later the apocalypse’s sure to arrive. We think sooner. Ok, so it didn’t really show up on May 21st 2011, but there are big hopes for 2012. Unless you’ve invested in an iron man suit, a spaceship or built yourself a nuclear bunker, you’re gonna feel like a...
Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies
Features / For Girls / Nostalgia / Watching

Top 5 Underrated Disney Movies

If you were born in 80s and your parents weren’t exceptionally elitist, you probably grew up watching enough Disney movies to permanently loosen your grasp on reality. Only us kids had the time and mental strength to traipse through every Disney movie that was around, often more than once, and...
I've got love for you if you were born in the eighties
Features / Listening / Nostalgia / Reading / Watching

I’ve got love for you if you were born in the eighties

There’s a good chance that if you’re browsing this website you were born in the 1980s. A lot happened in that decade. John Lennon was shot, the Berlin wall came down, Sega’s ‘Master System’ was released (as were the first two Terminator Films), and Elisha Cuthbert was gifted to the...
Latest entries
Buy Now!
Shake Weight
For Girls / Living / Man Tools / X-Rated
around
$25

Shake Weight

Shake it like a polaroid penis

Alright people, now is the time for you to take the initiative and own one of these legendary workout tools. The SNL parody clip was pretty good, and then South Park introduced us to the revolutionary cooling down system, but nothing comes close to owning one of these monsters. Shake that weight til you’re spent....
Buy Now!
Nick Jonas Cardboard Cut-out
For Girls / WTF?
around
$25

Nick Jonas Cardboard Cut-out

Punch it, have sex with it... It's your choice.

Unless you’ve got that fast-aging disease that Robin Williams gets in Jack then you probably can’t be both drunk and reminiscing about those days fawning over Nick Jonas – however, that doesn’t mean buying a life-size, cardboard cut out of him for $25 is a bad idea.
Buy Now!
Dave's Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce
Nourishment
around
$10

Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce

"The hottest sauce in the universe" - Stephen Hawking

From Dave’s Ultimate Insanity hot sauce range comes “The Hottest Sauce in the Universe”. Sure you’ve just had a kebab with extra chilli sauce, and that straight vodka you had earlier might have fatality’d half your tastebuds, but not even you ( -and this is a challenge) can stand up to this awe-inspiring sauce. Just...
Buy Now!
Clone-A-Willy Kit
For Girls / WTF? / X-Rated
around
$35

Clone-A-Willy Kit

Stick with what you know

The Clone-a-willy set allows you to make a carbon (not carbon) copy of a particular penis into a vibrator so you’ll feel right at home. I’m not sure of the logistics of it all but make yourself a copy of your husbands, boyfriends or that hot guy in the marketing department who you can’t bring...
Buy Now!
The Very Hungry Caterpillar Pop-Up Book
Nostalgia / Reading
around
$20

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Pop-Up Book

This caterpillar got the munchies

An absolute classic of your childhood years, ‘The Very Hungry Caterpillar’ is one of the finest works in the English language. And don’t worry, unless you’re George Bush it’s easy to follow even when you’re drunk.
Buy Now!
Batdog costume
Living / WTF?
around
$15

Batdog costume

Need a sidekick?

You are drunk, but unless you’re incredibly generous, your dog probably isn’t. He needs to get chicks too, and what better way for him to bone some bitches than by hitting the town in his very own Batdog costume? Also, think how great it would be if your dog is always running around the house...
Buy Now!
Borat Men's Mankini
Style / X-Rated
around
$15

Borat Men’s Mankini

Jagshemash!

With the summer approaching I can’t think of a better way to impress the ladies than by wearing this Borat mankini. If you really want to look the part grow a mustache as well. Sexytime!
Buy Now!
Special someone needs a shirt?
Style
around
$15

Special someone needs a shirt?

Is that special someone you? Well nothing says “I love myself” more than a T-Shirt with two wolves kissing on it.
Buy Now!
Jerky and sausage gun kit
Living
around
$30

Jerky and sausage gun kit

Actually stuff your own sausages

This jerky and sausage gun means you can make sausages out of whatever you want. Whack in some beef, pork, egg, chili pepper, steak seasoning and ale or go full McDonalds and experiment with scraps off the floor. Then quit the office job and open a hotdog stand outside your house.
Buy Now!
24-105mm Travel Coffee Mug
Man Tools / Style
around
$25

24-105mm Travel Coffee Mug

Better than a gameboy necklace

Impress all the hipsters with your very own thermos lens-cup. Looks like the lens of a camera, drinks like a cup – it’s a mystery.
Buy Now!
Steel and Leather Gauntlets
Man Tools
around
$50

Steel and Leather Gauntlets

Challenge someone to a duel ... of style

These Steel and Leather Gauntlet Gloves are a must for aspiring knights and people who like dueling. Fully commit and wear them while you make love. Your man/woman will love the foreplay
Buy Now!
Animal print slap bracelets (12 pk)
For Girls / Nostalgia
around
$5

Animal print slap bracelets (12 pk)

Slap yourself back into fashion

These things are probably still in fashion, but even still, who better to bring them back than you? This set of twelve, animal print snap bracelets mean you get to give out 11 of them to your friends making them instantly in vogue, problem solved.
Buy Now!
Stormtrooper Helmet
Nostalgia / Style
around
$25

Stormtrooper Helmet

You've never had the balls before

This turns you into a Stormtrooper, guaranteed. Think how many girls you’ll get when you tell them your house is the Death Star.
Buy Now!
Turtleneck & Chain CD/DVD
Listening
around
$15

Turtleneck & Chain CD/DVD

It felt so good when I did it with my penis

Get ‘Turtleneck & Chain’, the new album/DVD from the Lonely Island guys – including the classic ‘I Just Had Sex’, which you can probably ignore if you’re so drunk you’re on this website.
Buy Now!
Conway Stewart Collectors Fountain Pen
Style
around
$400

Conway Stewart Collectors Fountain Pen

The pen that wins wars

Throw away that chewed up Biro. No-one (except Josh Hartnett in ‘the Faculty’) ever did anything useful with one of those. Put away your Sharpie – they’re for hipsters and cosmetic surgeons. If you want your writing to impress you’ll do no better than the Conway Stewart fountain pen. Used by Winston Churchill, Presidents Bush...
Buy Now!
Curious George Goes to an Ice Cream Shop
Nostalgia / Reading
around
$8

Curious George Goes to an Ice Cream Shop

Science: Humans got ADHD from monkeys

In this beautifully illustrated book the most popular monkey of all time visits an ice cream shop. If you like ice cream and monkeys, and have any happy memories of your childhood whatsoever, then you should probably buy this. If you don’t, go to bed and read some Thomas Hardy or something tomorrow.
Buy Now!
Organic Anti-Cellulite Treatment
For Girls / Living
around
$30

Organic Anti-Cellulite Treatment

Nice, butt...

Wasn’t it Abraham Lincoln who once said ‘I do love a nice, smooth bottom’? And James Brown who sang ‘your thighs get me high’? Why insult the memory of these two great Americans when for $30 you can get this organic cream and ensure your skin stays cellulite free? I mean, who wants to end...
Buy Now!
Caligula on demand
Watching / X-Rated
around
$3

Caligula on demand

Highest budget porno ever?

Caligula, 70s playboy film about sex and murder in Roman times available on digital download. If you think Helen Mirren’s hot now, 1. Call an ambulance, you’ve drunk way too much, 2. Check her out when she was actually hot – watch it now for $3.
Buy Now!
National Geographic Year Subscription
Reading
around
$15

National Geographic Year Subscription

Isn't about time you got cultured?

Mark Twain once said, “The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can’t read them.” If you think there is any truth in that then you should probably get a year’s subscription to National Geographic magazine. Think of your excitement every month when you see that golden border...

Wisdom

“The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober.”
 Charlie Sheen

Advert

Kiva - loans that change lives

  • Random articles

    • © 2011 I'm Not That Drunk. All Rights Reserved.

    Created by Vague Banner